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1. As they were finishing dinner Ford asked what their plans were for the rest of the evening. Rodney muttered something about needing the Major's magic gene to test an unusual Ancient device one of the other teams had found and dragged John up from the table by the elbow.
"The usual place?" Rodney whispered as they walked through crowded corridors.
"I'll bring chips," John whispered back.
"You're going to get creamed tonight," Rodney said, smugly. "Just wait until you see the modifications I've initiated in Geldar."
John just nodded. He couldn't wait to see Rodney's face when he realised that John had replaced all his portraits in the game with posters of the Man In Black.
2. Zelenka started it.
"Almighty asshole!"
Rodney was never one to back down from a challenge.
"Bucolic bastard!"
The war of words continued without pause.
"Cantankerous coward!"
"Dimwitted dweeb!"
Simpson yawned into her coffee cup. Miko's eyes travelled back and forth between the two duelling wordsmiths with avid interest.
"Sapheaded schmuck!"
"Tremendous tool!"
John continued slouching in the corner. Any minute now, Rodney was going to realise that the letter 'X' was his.
3. Rodney was late to briefing and, after rushing to the seat next to John, collapsed into it, catching his breath and spilling coffee down his shirt, finally looked up and noticed Elizabeth's new haircut.
"Very… nice," Rodney stammered. "You look like… Gina Lollobrigida."
A pained expression washed over John's face as Rodney yelled, "What? What? She's totally hot!"
4. When Rodney was trying to explain to Madison that yes, he and John were friends, just like she and Abby were friends and that that was the reason they were sleeping in the same bed. Because they were friends and that's what friends did.
"D'you have nightmares, Uncle Mer? 'Cause Abby has nightmares and that's why Mommy lets Abby and me sleep in the same bed sometimes, so I can scare her nightmares away."
"No, no, no nightmares, just… it's easier on your mom, you know? Less washing of sheets and pillowcases and what-not."
Madison didn't look too convinced. "I guess it's okay, then. But me and Abby are little girls. Are you a little girl, Uncle Mer?"
"Don't even say it," Rodney snapped at John.
5. As they were finishing dinner Teyla asked what their plans were for the rest of the evening. Rodney muttered something about needing the Colonel's magic gene to test an unusual device they'd found in the Ancient drilling station.
"Your place or mine?" Rodney whispered as they walked through crowded corridors.
"Mine," John said, nodding at Ronon and a couple of Marines heading towards one of the workout rooms.
"You're going to get killed tonight," Rodney said, grinning manically. "I'm going to eat you like you're the last chocolate in the box."
John cleared his throat and tried his best not to smile. One thing about Rodney; his eyes were never too big for his appetite.