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Shatterstar prided himself on being a fairly fearless individual. Few things scared the former Mojoworld Gladiator outside the occasional surprise that the team could spring on him or the life threatening fear that came when he was knocking on death’s door. The things that really did scare him he removed as soon as possible through either violence or, rarely, by some other method. Living with fear was not something that agreed with Star’s strict warrior ideals. However, since coming to X-Factor Investigations –since finding a team he actually cared for- Shatterstar found himself becoming more and more accustomed to the feeling to being afraid. Especially since the primary source of these feelings could no longer protect himself as his mutant abilities once allowed him to.
Julio Richter had long since possessed the habit of disregarding his own safety and M-Day along with the resulting loss of his powers had done little to curb that. Of course Star knew being reckless was just in Julio’s nature, just as it was in his own nature as well, and was still quite capable of protecting himself –or at the very least keep himself from dying- but that didn’t mean Shatterstar had to like it when Julio put himself in harms way and caused the mojoworlder’s heart to stop when he did something unquestionably stupid.
Shatterstar remembers waking up from Cortex’ control and seeing Julio’s worried face as his senses returned. Desperation, relief, and a crippling terror that he’d almost hurt or killed -or worse- to one of, if not the most, important people in his entire life had brought on the kiss. He had forgotten how sweet Julio tasted and how good it had felt to be holding him close. Before Julio he had never experience love and while overly romantic notions of true love or destiny did not plague him, Shatterstar knew he couldn’t imagine feeling this way for anyone else. And though there have been other instances of Julio inspired terror that he cannot bother to recall, watching Julio voluntarily go up and have his powers restored by the same person who stole them from him in the first place is by far the worst.
“So, let’s do this,” Julio says, “Say the magic words, or unsay them.”
As Julio moves away from him and the words they had just exchanged play through Shatterstar’s head.
“How do I make you understand? I was born with the power to move mountains. Literally. My connection to the earth was like…breathing. And I’ve been holding my breath for a very long time.”
What Julio had said in many ways did make sense. Shatterstar knew if he were in Julio’s position, suddenly bereft of the skills he’d had all his life, he would feel much the same way, as if he’d been cut off from everything he was and all he’d ever known. His skill with a blade, his teleportation, even his rarely used mutant powers were a part of him in ways he could not describe and if he lost them -as much as he was loath to admit it- he would probably be doing exactly the same thing.
The Scarlet Witch stands in front of Julio and places her hand on his temples.
“But know this Witch…if you harm him in anyway, I will kill you,” Star growls. Just because he understands why Julio is doing this didn’t mean he liked it or the deep-seated fear coiling in his gut.
“Shatterstar,” The Witch replies, “If I harm him in any way I’ll be begging you to kill me.” A small comfort, Shatterstar thinks bitterly, revenge on the person who’d put Julio in this position in the first place would do little to sooth the pain that would come should something happen to his lover.
“Are you absolutely sure about this, Rictor?” The Scarlet Witch asks one last time and Star, for a moment, foolishly hopes Julio will back down.
“Just do it.” Of course he won’t.
A bright red light begins to shine from the Witch’s palm and Shatterstar hears Julio’s scream of pain, vaguely registering the Scarlet Witch’s apology.
“Stop! You’re killing him!” Star cries desperately. Suddenly, Julio shoots away from the Witch towards the wall, “Rictor!” Shatterstar turns on the Witch, his blades unsheathed as the building starts to rumble and shake.
“What have I done?” Scarlet Witch asks, voice full of remorse.
“You’ve brought the whole building down!” Jamie yells, “You’ll kill us all!”
“It wasn’t her,” a voice interrupts, small and shocked. Shatterstar whirls around and finds Julio collapsed against the wall, bits of the red magic fading from him body, with a smile on his face, “It was me. That tremor was me. Whatever Wanda did it worked. My powers are back.”
Shatterstar wasted no time. Rushing over to his lover’s side he pulls Julio into an achingly desperate kiss. They do not receive any looks but Star supposes that both teams are fairly used to displays like this, though he and Julio are fairly subdued with their PDA. Star pours all his emotions into the kiss. I was scared. Don’t ever do that again. I love you. Julio responds in kind.
Julio makes him experience things Star knew he could never have with anyone else. He made his heart stop with heart with fear and then seconds latter thrum with arousal. Julio, who had barely enough self-esteem to fill a teaspoon and who had no idea how truly beautiful he was. Julio frightened Shatterstar but if losing these feelings of fear and worry meant losing Julio in the process then Shatterstar supposed this was a terror he could learn to live with.