Chapter Text
“I don’t know what to do.”
Vixen was staring at the ceiling of Emile Picani’s office, stretched out on the leather couch. He sighed again, having sighed several times since the start of the session. This whole thing was exhausting.
“I don’t want to forgive him,” Vixen continued. “I feel as if forgiving him is like saying what he did was ok, and it wasn’t. He hurt us all with his actions, even if he didn’t mean to hurt us. And that’s another problem. I can’t hate him as much as I want to because I know he’s not malicious, he’s just a complete idiot. He thought he was doing what was best, and his stupidity hurt us all. But I’m, having nightmares of being alone again. Of being trapped. Of being...” he shuddered, not really wanting to think about it again. “We even had to remove the doors to our rooms...”
“You did?” Emile looked up from his notes. “All of you?”
“Yeah, me and Devlin and Tristan,” said Vixen. “We were terrified that one day the door wouldn’t open again, so we took them off the hinges and stored them away somewhere. It did help, though. And we have a nightlight in the hallway now...”
“Sounds like you’re making progress,” said Emile. “It’s slow, but that’s to be expected. You should feel proud of yourselves. I know I do. It’s going to be hard while you’re all adjusting, but things will get better in time.”
“But it’s been already been a month,” said Vixen. “How much longer do we have to wait?”
“You must be patient,” Emile smiled. “Traumas like this aren’t solved over night. it will take time and effort.” He shuffled his notes. “Let’s change the subject. You said that you’re getting along well with Logan, correct? How’s that going?”
Vixen sighed. Again.
“He’s pretty much the only one of that group that I can stand,” he said. “He’s level headed, he doesn’t insult us, and I never really had a problem with him before. He was the one who stood up for us. Well, Julius did too before he died...”
“You said he gave you the same diagnosis that I did?” Emile asked.
“Ugh, yes... he told me it was touch starvation too,” Vixen rolled his eyes, staring at a poster of Steven Universe now. “I did some research and that’s another one that doesn’t go away easily so I was really fucking happy about that one. He did make me mad when he mentioned it, though.”
“How do you feel when you’re around him?” Emile asked, counding curious. He’d been telling Vixen about touch starvation for a good while, but Vixen had always denied it. He’d always say that he was just fine. Which was why Emile hesitated to mention the other problems he had diagnosed Vixen with...
“Naked,” Vixen answered. He finally pulled himself into a slumped sitting position and pulled his coat tighter around him. “It’s like... he can see right through me and he knows what’s going on. Like... I can’t hide anything from him. I don’t like it, it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“Well, you seem to have issues with vulnerability,” said Emile. “I’ve been thinking that for years.”
“I can’t... I can’t afford to be vulnerable,” Vixen shook his head. “I have to stay strong for the others. Tristan’s finally getting sleep and Devlin’s doing his exercises to stay calm. I can’t put my problems on their shoulders.”
“But you can tell me about them,” Emile tilted his head.
“That’s different,” Vixen folded his arms. “You at least know how to solve them.”
“Hardly,” Emile said. “I know how to explain them and how to treat them, but the root of the problems is hardly a single root. It’s a network of roots that branch out to many different things. It’s not so simple.”
“Great,” Vixen sounded annoyed. “Just what I wanted to hear.”
“But it’s what you need to hear,” Emile set his notes down and glanced at the clock. “It’s ok to be vulnerable. Whether it’s with Logan or with your family. And honestly, it might even help you feel better. Logan’s very intelligent, he’ll understand what your problems are and he might even be able to help you with them. Besides, you said he was cute, right?”
“He is,” Vixen agreed. “In a nerd sort of way.”
He hated what Emile was saying. It was just more work for him, and it was a bridge that could easily collapse if he didn’t cross it correctly. And if it did collapse, it would be his family putting it back together, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to bother them with his problems. He was a pillar of strength. He needed to be.
“Our time is up for today,” Emile interrupted his thoughts. “Please consider what I’ve said. You know I would never ask you to do something if I didn’t think it would help you.”
“Yeah,” Vixen stood up and stretched slightly. “Yeah, I know. I’ll see you later.”
“Don’t forget our next appointment,” Emile smiled warmly. “Let me know if you can’t make it.”
Vixen nodded and left the office. He didn’t feel any bit better than he had when he’d initially gone in....
>>>>>>>
It was the next morning, and Logan was waking up.
He yawned softly and immediately noticed that something wasn’t quite right-
Someone was in his bed.
He looked down to see a body curled around him. It would have been impossible to tell who it was until Logan spotted the soft pink pajamas they were wearing. Ah, so it was Vixen.
Vixen mumbled in his sleep and curled up tighter around Logan with a few low noises that sounded happy. Logan debated on waking him up, but Vixen seemed to make the decision for him as his eyes slowly opened.
Vixen froze.
With wide eyes, he slowly looked up and saw Logan staring back at him in confusion. With a loud yelp, Vixen threw himself out of the bed, causing him to crash to the floor. Before Logan could say a word, Vixen ran out of the room and dashed down the hall to his own.
Logan quickly grabbed his glasses and put them on, already rushing from the room. He made his way down to Vixen’s and paused at the doorway. The privacy screen was lit up from the sunshine coming in from the new window, and a shadow was cast against it.
“Vixen?” Logan called. The shadow flinched and Vixen peered out from behind.
“Logan! I... look, I’m so sorry. I can explain. See, at our old place, Juke’s room was where yours is, and he always let me sleep in his bed if I needed to,” Vixen said quickly. “Last night I needed to, and I was half asleep when I left my room and I guess I got confused as to where I was and I entered your room by mistake. I’m sorry!”
Logan raised an eyebrow, and then he shrugged.
“It’s ok,” he said. “I understand completely. To be honest, it wasn’t so bad. Very... very warm.”
Vixen leaned further out from the privacy screen, looking mortified. He held Logan’s gaze for a moment before he looked away.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
“Look at you how?” Logan sounded confused.
“Like you’re staring right through me.”
“I am not. I hardly possess x-ray vision...” Logan trailed off at Vixen’s expression. “Ah, you mean figuratively. Apologies, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I was merely trying to ascertain if you were all right or not.”
“I know,” Vixen slunk out from behind the privacy screen. Indeed, his pajamas were pink: a tank top and long pants. The tank top had gold writing that said ‘I need more beauty sleep’.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I had a session with Emile yesterday and I haven’t been feeling well since then.”
“Understandable of a person with your conditions. I imagine it’s hard to be vulnerable when you wish not to be.”
Vixen huffed in annoyance. Now Logan knew about that too?
“But if sleeping in the same bed as myself helps your mental health recover, by all means you are welcome to continue doing so,” said Logan.
Now Vixen’s expression turned to one of surprise. Mr. No Feelings was letting him cuddle when he needed it? Granted, Logan never seemed to have a problem with cuddling with others... but with Vixen’s function, it could turn the meaning into something else entirely however unintentional.
“Thank you, Logan,” Vixen smiled in relief. “You’re such a great guy.”
“Anything to help,” Logan cleared his throat, but Vixen could spot the light beginnings of a blush...