Work Text:
Lucas' POV.
After shutting the door on Lola's face, Lucas rested his head on the door and took several deep breaths. He didn't mean to go off on her like that, but he was just so, so upset and worried after he got the call that he had to pick Eliott up in the sobering cell. What he said was something she needed to hear, and perhaps he has been harsh, but he thought his anger was deserved. He trusted her, Eliott trusted her, and he trusted Eliott, but this is what he was scared of happening - her bringing him down. He's not stupid, nor blind; he knows there's something about her that Eliott is drawn to because his boyfriend sees himself a lot in her. He didn't understand it completely, and he has a feeling that Eliott did not give him the full story on Lola's life out of respect for her. It made him honestly love his boyfriend even more, and that made him relax a bit around her, enough to give her that small nod at the video store when they were discussing the film. He was just starting to get to know her somehow, but alas, here they are.
When Eliott got coherent enough to have a discussion late this morning, he understood what happened - Eliott went to help Lola because she's spiralling and needed a friend. He could never, ever, begrudge Eliott that. In fact, he's quite happy that he found a newfound friend in her, no matter how weird he feels about it. What he's not happy about is hearing how Lola planted the seed of doubt in Eliott's head about how Lucas is waiting for him to fuck up. The moment he heard his boyfriend repeat the words that Lola told him that night in the club, he was crushed. He thought they were doing so, so well in the communication department. Eliott came clean about his Urbex parties and how he felt like he found a kindred spirit in Lola. He thought his boyfriend feels Lucas has complete faith in him, because he does. He thought Eliott understood that Lucas is not waiting for him to mess up, and never had.
What's even more heartbreaking, it took so little for Eliott to believe her. It took one conversation for Eliott to feel like Lucas doesn't trust him. He doesn't know what to do with that information just yet, but he knows what he has to do now. For both of them. Maybe by doing this, they have a hope of salvaging this mess and of having a healthy relationship in the future.
With a sigh, he turned and walked to the bedroom, where Eliott is still bundled up in bed. When he reached the doorway of their bedroom, Eliott shifted a bit to make room for him on their bed, indicating that he wanted Lucas to join him. He still looks pale and tired, but he looks a lot better than he did yesterday. Though Lucas knows they need to have this conversation, he's scared of losing the man he loves so much with his whole heart.
"I can hear you thinking, you know." Eliott said softly, as if he's afraid of breaking the silence they found themselves in. Perhaps with a bit of guilt and sadness, too, but Lucas is trying not to focus too much on that so he can do what he has to do. "You don't have to be careful around me anymore, I know I hurt you and I messed up. I already told you how sorry I am, so just please," he took a deep breath and sighed. "Please, Lu, just tell me what you're thinking about. Tell me how to fix this." Eliott spoke the last sentence like he's close to tears, and that got Lucas going.
"I'm so proud of you, you know?" Eliott looks visibly surprised by this statement, so he hurried to continue. "I'm so proud of who you are, everyday. When I moved in with you a year ago, I've never seen you as the person with a bipolar disorder. I just saw you as Eliott." They both shared a small smile at this. "The boy who's so bad at cooking, whose spirit animal is the raccoon, who's willing to do everything to make me happy." With this, Lucas started crying, and Eliott looks like he's about to start, too.
"I don't know what I did to make you feel like I was waiting for you to mess up anytime. I'm sorry if that was something I've made you feel the entire time we were together." At this, he saw Eliott started crying, too. Eliott knew were he was going with this, and that almost made Lucas change his mind, but he knew this is the right thing to do. Not just for Eliott, but for himself, so he pushed on. "I'm sorry if you feel like my love for you is not strong enough that you didn't have faith in me. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you can't trust me with anything, or you can't talk to me about all these."
"But this?" Lucas waved his hand around, as if indicating something, and whispered the things he was hoping he'd never have to say to Eliott. "This hurt me." Lucas clutched his shirt, over his heart, because there's an actual, physical pain there right now. He sobbed even harder. "This hurt me, Eliott." He repeated. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, and maybe I'm at fault here, too. I just want to be honest about how you made me feel." At this, Eliott looks horrified. Lucas has never cried this hard in front of him, and maybe has not ever, in his entire life.
"Lucas, I-" Eliott started, and started reaching for him, but Lucas quickly shook his head no.
"No, please, don't touch me. I can't stand it just yet." Lucas whispered. Eliott lowered his hand and gripped the pillow instead, as if trying to stop himself from reaching out to Lucas, and let out a loud sob. Lucas was never the one to deny him any form of touch, so he knew that the way he had hurt Lucas was on a very different level this time. "I just needed to let this out because I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that the person I love most in this entire world is not convinced of that. I'm frustrated and hurt that you don't trust me to trust you." He paused, and took a shaky breath in. He went for the final blow.
"And if you don't trust me, Eliott, then how can we be together now?"
----
Five weeks later, Eliott's POV
Eliott sighed and shifted in his seat. He's working the full shift at the video store today, with about an hour left before he can leave. To be completely honest, he's been getting restless and bored, but he knows he needs this job - not just for the money, but for his sanity's sake. As has been his habit over the last weeks when he's bored, he took a fresh sheet of paper from under the counter, and began sketching.
A hedgehog in a Romance sweater, being presented with a bunch of lilies and roses by a sad-looking raccoon.
A hedgehog and a raccoon, cuddling in bed while it's raining outside.
A raccoon cooking croques while the hedgehog watches on, hearts in the latter's eyes.
A hedgehog sitting with a huge smile on its face, surrounded by a bunch of presents, with a banner saying "happy birthday" behind it. A raccoon beside it, holding a birthday cake.
Eliott sighed and looked down on his drawings. How he wishes those are still true.
Yann has been a god-send the entire time. He knows he doesn't owe him anything, and that if it were any other person, he'll be completely ignored by his ex- boyfriend's best friend after what went down two months ago, but Yann didn't turn him away. He's been a surprising ally and confidant this entire time. When asked about it when he randomly stopped by the store when he knew Eliott was working one afternoon to check up on him, Yann simply shrugged his head and said, "I have complete faith that you two will work things out in the end. I'm not yet ready to lose my brother- in- law."
Because that's what Lucas is to him, right now - an ex-boyfriend.
After the talk they had the night they broke up, Eliott realized how much he screwed up. And as much as he would want (so badly) to keep holding on to Lucas, he knew he was right. Eliott has to figure out why he agreed with Lola that night - why he thinks that Lucas is waiting for him to mess up, and why he doesn't trust him when Lucas says otherwise. At the same time, Lucas needed to focus on his Bac, and he needs to have faith that Eliott is all in.
Because, at the bottom of it all, that's probably what he needs to address the most - why he can't fully let go in front of Lucas. And Lucas definitely does not deserve someone who is not all in, especially given how many times he's been disappointed by the people he cares about before, even before Eliott was in his life.
This is definitely not what Eliott envisioned his summer being. He always imagined it with shorter shifts in the store so he can spend time with Lucas, celebrating the end of Bac, going on road trips and random ice cream dates, perhaps a couple of Urbex parties and explorations by himself. Going to the beach with the gang and going with just Lucas. Lucas, Lucas, Lucas - that's what he envisioned his summer will be. That's long gone, now.
Instead, he's taking longer shifts at the store because he doesn't have anyone to come back home to, now. He eats ice cream but buys them in pints at the grocery stores, wallowing on his misery while watching sad, sappy films with happy endings to help soothe his heart. He stopped going to Urbex parties and stopped tagging - he's overall just not inspired. There's no one waiting for him after his increased therapy sessions, so he's taken on going for longer walks by the canal if he needs to work off the excess energy.
He's still living in their apartment, his parents helping him out with rent now that Lucas has moved out. That night, he came running to his childhood home, not being able to stand the sight of Lucas packing up his belongings and leaving. After crying on his Mom's shoulder for hours, she offered to help him out, citing the reason of not wanting to disrupt his routine more than usual. His Mom is just as devastated - she loves Lucas like his own - and shed a few tears herself, but ultimately, she believes Lucas made the right and mature decision.
He hasn't seen Lucas since that night, and he feels his heart clench each time he's reminded of that fact, which happens to be a couple of times each day. Like now, for instance.
He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard the bell chime, indicating a customer just walked in. He lifted his head and, speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"Hey, Yann, what's up?" Eliott said with a smile and a handshake.
"Not much, just dropping by. I haven't checked in on you for a couple of days, so I thought I'd do it personally, this time. How are you doing?" Yann said, with a slight furrow of his eyebrows, indicating worry, despite his warm and open expression towards Eliott.
"Eh, it's been better. You know how it is." He offered a sad smile, and he got one in return. He saw Yann suddenly look nervous, as if wanting to say something, but not knowing how. He instantly imagined the worst- case scenario. Was Lucas hurt? Is he in the hospital? Is his Mom okay, did something happen? Or worse, did he come here to tell Eliott that Lucas has a new boyfriend and has moved on and that he has a new brother-in-law? "Is something wrong? Is Lucas okay? Did something happen to him?" Eliott spoke rapidly, each sentence louder than the last.
Yann chuckled, "Lucas is fine, Eliott, just relax." Eliott let out a huge sigh at that. That can only mean one thing, then, but he didn't know if he should ask. "Okay." He paused, and took the plunge. "Uhm, does he.. are you here to tell me he has a new boyfriend?" Eliott gulped at the thought, but persisted. "I mean, I know he said he will always love me, but I thought it was unfair to make him wait while I sort my issues out," he prattles, visibly agitated. "I mean, is the guy okay? Does he treat him well? Is he happy?" Yann cut him off with a loud laugh before he was finished with all his questions.
"Jesus Christ, will you just relax? You are just as bad as Lucas." His eyes went wide after, realizing he probably should not have said what he just said. "I should not have said that." He slapped his forehead and looked to the heavens, as if waiting for a miracle to happen. "Oh god, Lucas is going to kill me."
"What do you mean?" Eliott dared ask, not really knowing where everything is going. "Please, Yann, whatever it is, just tell me. Please, please." Eliott is obviously not above begging when it comes to anything related to Lucas. Nope, he has no shame. "Please, if it's for Lucas, or if you think this is the best for him, please. I have to know." He used the best-friend-guilt-trip route, knowing it will get to Yann. Said boy narrowed his eyes at that and said, "I know what you're doing, and I hate that it's working." Another sigh.
"Okay, so, Lucas' birthday is coming up," Yann continued. Eliott nods, he's very much aware of it. He was thinking of sending Lucas some flowers, their first contact since the night Lucas moved out of their apartment. He's not sure if that's the right thing to do, but damn it, he's going to show Lucas how much he's still in love with him, no matter what. "We're planning on throwing him a small get- together, but he's adamant that he doesn't want to. You and I both know why." Yann looked exasperated at this, and continued. "I really want to do this for him, but that dude is so stubborn sometimes. He got it in his head that he's not deserving of a celebration because, well," Yann waved his hand around Eliott's face, and the latter nodded, signifying he kind of understood, but that he should continue. "Because he broke up with you and he's punishing himself over it. He doesn't think he deserves nice things, more so a birthday celebration without you in it."
Eliott sighed, and felt a lump in his throat. He nodded at Yann, but he doesn't really know what to say. He knows he's ready to go back to Lucas, to ask for his forgiveness - he thinks he's figured out enough of his issues to beg for Lucas to get back together with him. However, he can't deny how scared he is at the idea of Lucas pushing him away, or telling him he doesn't want to get back together, after all. What if Lucas realized he's not in love with Eliott anymore? "Yann, I'm not sure what you want me to do." He confesses.
Yann inhaled, and blew out a breath. "Look, I know you're miserable without him, too. And you obviously miss him, based on the drawings I see every time I come visit you here." Case in point, as Eliott remembered what he was drawing before Yann showed up. "I think I just want to know," a pause, and then Yann looked right at him and said, "I think I just want to know if you're ready to take him back. I care for you, Eliott, but I just can't stand seeing Lucas this sad and miserable. I need to do something about it."
And that.. that is not something that Eliott was expecting today. Not from Yann, and not from anyone, ever. He can't deny the fact that hope suddenly bloomed in his chest, but he needs to be cautious about this, so he asked, "And how sure are you that I'm the answer? Have you forgotten how hurt he was? Have you forgotten why we agreed to break up, in the first place?"
With so much conviction, Yann answered, "I know, believe me. I know he's still in love with you every time he plays dubstep at night, every time he's so desperate to ask me how you're doing but holds himself back because he fears you wouldn't want him to intrude in your life." Yann shook his head, and continued, with a small smile on his face. "I know every time I catch him scrolling through his phone, looking at all your photos together. And every time he voluntarily watches those pretentious films only you can stand." He placed a hand on Eliott's shoulder and said, "I know Lucas, Eliott. But I don't know you as well. I don't know if you're ready." He removed his hand from Eliott's shoulder, and winced a bit. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be pushy. I can understand if you need more time. But I just, I can't stand it anymore. And I feel like you might feel the same way. And if there's anything I can do to help you both, I'll do it." Yann finished, with a steely glint in his eyes.
"Can you give me some time to think over it?" Eliott said, and Yann looked disappointed at that. He knew whatever he says will sound like bullshit, but he doesn't offer anymore explanation as to why he has to think about it. Better let Yann believe what he wants to believe, at this point. He knew he was ready, but he has to be sure about it because Lucas deserves his 100%, and no less than that.
"It isn't because there's someone new, right?" Yann looked like he was afraid of hearing the answer, and Eliott was quick to deny that with a somewhat loud response. "What? No! Of course not! How can you even think that?" Yann hesitated before he replied. "Look, I'm really not supposed to be telling you this, but certain people might have had the impression that you are seeing someone new. And that's why certain people is extra miserable and just wants to wallow. Certain people may or may not also be thinking he just lost the greatest love of his life to someone else." Yann rolled his eyes at this, because he knows how dramatic his best friend can be. Eliott, however, is just plain confused as to why Lucas thinks that, and so he responded, "I.. Why would he have that impression?"
Yann shrugged his shoulder and threw his hands up. "Beats me," he said. "He didn't want to tell me, just only told me he knows you've moved on, and then locked himself up in his room and refused to come out for almost a week." Eliott felt his heart clench at the thought of Lucas being sad over him finding someone new, but also a little hope for the two of them. He mentally sighed and cursed himself. Isn't their situation enough? Now there's even more drama?
"Okay, look, the reason why I needed more time is because I want to talk to my therapist first to know if she thinks I'm ready. I mean, I know I am, Yann. I'm ready to grovel and beg for Lucas to take me back." Yann smiled hugely at him, and he gave him a smile back before continuing. "But Lucas deserves my all. I'm not taking this lightly. I will not make the same mistakes I did a month ago." He declared.
Yann looks satisfied at his answer, so he raised his hand up for a high- five. "Cool, bro. I completely understand." He walked away after saying goodbye, but when he was about to push the door open, Eliott stopped him. "Hey Yann?" He turned around and looked at Eliott. "Thank you. Not just for checking up on me, but also for being there for him. You have no idea how much that means to me." Eliott was a bit embarrassed to admit that, but he's working on being more vulnerable and letting people in. He was rewarded with a response and a smile from Yann. "You're part of the gang, too, Eliott. We care for you as much as we care for Lucas." With that, he gave Eliott a salute, and left.
Eliott closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to get himself together. His shift is almost finished, and he's thankful for it. He needs to call his therapist for an appointment tomorrow, and he needs a long walk to clear his mind.
It's time to get his boy back.
----
Four days later - Lucas' birthday. Lucas' POV.
Lucas took a gulp of his beer, and silently sighed. Yann, Basile, and Arthur are all determined to make tonight a good night for him, in honor of his birthday and finishing the Bac. He knows he's being a complete downer, but he just can't help it. He didn't want to be with anyone, more so to sit around and talk to his friends (at least, not yet, a part of his brain whispered). He does want to have a beer, maybe even get blindingly drunk to help him forget about Eliott.
Eliott. The love of his life. The man he broke up with five weeks before his birthday. The man who still, completely, holds his heart in those skillful hands.
The man who Lucas saw from the window hugging a girl a little too closely and a little too long when he attempted to visit him one time in the video store. And then Lucas fled the scene, trying to erase the image from his mind - of Eliott moving on, of Eliott realizing he couldn't be with Lucas, after all.
Of Eliott being with someone that isn't him.
He took two shots from the table littered with drinks and snacks and downed them simultaneously. Across from him, he saw Yann eyeing him with a pity, but he didn't want to acknowledge it. After all, why will Yann feel sorry for him? Lucas was the one who decided that Eliott needed to figure out whether or not he can be with Lucas. It was Lucas who decided to give Eliott space, despite it breaking his own heart. If there's anyone who should feel shitty about it, it should be Lucas because he brought this on himself. If Eliott has indeed moved on, that was it. Lucas will let him go.
But that doesn't mean he's not going to wallow over it.
The doorbell rang, interrupting his thoughts. He looked murderously at Basile and said, "I swear to god Basile, if you invited your girlfriend and the rest of the girls over, I'm going to kill you." He doesn't need this right now, he just wants to be left alone with his vodka! Basile sputtered at that and said, "I didn't! I swear! Maybe it's Yann, it's his place, after all!" Which caused Lucas to raise his eyes to his best friend's retreating back and let out a sigh. This is not how it's supposed to be. He was ready to go on a rant about how he didn't even want to celebrate in the first place, when Arthur and Basile suddenly squealed and jumped up from their respective seats.
"Eliott!" They both screamed, and that caused Lucas to choke on the shot he just took. "You okay, bro?" Yann asked, genuine worry visible on his face, but Lucas thinks it might be more than because he almost choked to death. Lucas turned his head so quickly to appraise the figure standing beside Yann, who is now looking at him cautiously.
"Hey, Lucas." Eliott said softly, and with a small, sad smile on his face, and god, Lucas melted. He's just a puddle on the floor right now, absolutely useless. "Happy birthday. These are for you." He reached out his hand, holding a bouquet of lilies and roses and something else he can't identify. And Lucas just stared at the flowers in shock, trying to figure out what's happening and what Eliott is doing here, in his supposed celebration with the gang. He still has not accepted the flowers, and after an awkward amount of time of him drinking Eliott in, he noticed when he became nervous and fidgety.
"I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have crashed your party. I just really wanted to give you these. I'll be on my way." And Lucas recognized this voice and this expression - this is when Eliott is trying to put up a front, trying to be confident and brave, when deep down, he's not. He'd seen it enough during the times Eliott was preparing for a huge presentation or a small exhibit for his classes. And that's what broke through his haze.
"Oh, uhm, thank you, Eliott." Saying his name again sounds so good, and Eliott's smile became marginally bigger at that. "Please, if you have the time, you can stay. Have a few drinks and snacks with us?" And they both visibly winced, because the last time Eliott did drinks was...
"I can stay, but I hope you don't mind if I pass on the drinks? I'm just not up for it tonight." Eliott replied, softly, honestly, and sadly, also remembering that night. He turned to the rest of the gang and asked, "I hope that's okay with all of you? I can leave if you don't feel like it, too."
Basile, Arthur, and Yann all loudly protested at that, with Basile almost tripping over himself and offering his seat to Eliott, the one closest to Lucas. He can't help but roll his eyes at that, because his friends are so obvious, but he loves them to pieces. If this is all he's getting tonight, he will take it and he will be happy. Eliott settled in his seat, and Yann handed him a bottle of soda. After taking a sip, he put the bottle down and asked.
"So, what's up, guys? How's everything?"
----
Five months after, still Lucas' POV
This is nice, Lucas thought as he walked towards the bar in the club they are in, along with the gang. They all wanted to let loose for a little bit, because the first two months of University have proven to be overwhelming and stressful. Lucas didn't want to go, but at the same time, he also wanted to get a little tipsy after a gruelling week of studying. So sue him.
Eliott is running a little late, but is on his way and should be with them anytime soon. He was just checking his phone for any messages when he felt an arm snake around his waist, and squeeze it. He felt more than heard Eliott's "hello," due to his proximity, and he tried his best not to shiver. He sighed internally. It's just been too long. He said hi back to Eliott, and said man dropped his hand from his waist and fist- bumped the rest of the gang. Lucas tried not to look too disappointed at that, but judging by the look on Arthur's face, he did a poor job of concealing it.
Ever since his birthday, Eliott and him have been texting and talking. There may have also been a few (okay, a lot) of study dates once summer was over, and they even went on a couple of beach trips with the rest of the gang. But that was about it. Eliott never brought up getting back together with him, and Lucas has no clue if Eliott still loves him. He was happy when he got the flowers for his birthday, and he was hoping that was a sign that they were getting back together.
It wasn't, because Eliott never said anything after again, and Lucas was scared to bring it up every time they talk. He is getting frustrated, not to mention, even more heartbroken and resigned. Eliott really has moved on from him, and there's nothing he can do about it.
"Eliott!" Someone screamed behind them, disturbing Lucas' thoughts, and they all turned to look at the intruder. A girl about their age bounced up to Eliott and gave him a tight hug, and Lucas realized with a jolt that this was the same girl that he saw Eliott hugging that day at the video store. He wanted to close his eyes and cry, but he knows he doesn't have the right to be upset anymore. Eliott is no longer his, and he has to let him go.
Maybe he just needs more drinks. Maybe, if he gets drunk enough, he can forget about Eliott even just for tonight.
"I'm going to go and get drinks, first round's on me." Yann started saying something, worry clear in his forehead and mouth, but he almost ran away from the table, desperately hoping to escape Eliott and his new girl.
----
Eliott's POV
Eliott was surprised to see his cousin in this club. She just moved back from London a couple of months ago, and surprised him at the video store one time during his shift. They used to be close growing up, and he was happy to have her back. However, he was more surprised by the abruptness of Lucas' departure. He followed him with his eyes once his cousin let him go because he was worried. He almost missed Yann clearing his throat, obviously waiting for an introduction, and something else in his eyes that Eliott can't seem to get.
"Guys, this is my cousin, Liz. She just moved back from London a couple of months ago. Liz, these are my friends, Basile, Arthur, and Yann. The one who just left was Lucas." Eliott saw his cousin visibly perk up at that, with a surprised yelp. "What? That was Lucas? Oh my gosh I'm so happy I'll finally get to meet him!" From the corner of his eye, he can see Yann's expression clear visibly, and he feels like he's missing something. He thought he heard him say, "stupid idiots in love" under his breath, but he wasn't so sure. He turned his attention back to Liz and put his arm around her shoulders.
"Yes, that's Lucas. Please don't embarrass me, I'm still working on getting him back, Liz! Promise me!" That was the truth. Since Lucas' birthday, he's been trying to give Lucas hints that he wants to get back together with him, but he realized that they have to learn how to trust each other and communicate. They skipped the whole being- friends stage, and maybe, that’s what they needed to work on their issues. So he started small - a few text messages, coffee-slash-study dates, group outings, etc. Eliott is wooing him, and he hopes it's working - hopes that by being friends for now will let them trust each other a lot more. Tonight is supposed to be the night that he'll officially ask Lucas to get back together with him (and maybe even move back in with him in what he still calls "their apartment" in his head). He doesn't need Liz telling stories of how frustrated Eliott has been the past five months (he's a young, healthy male, with a really hot "friend," okay) or how much of a troublemaker he was as a child!
It was then that Lucas came back with a tray of drinks, and Eliott feels as if he's purposely avoiding eye contact with him. He sat farthest away from Eliott, with Liz occupying his previous seat, and started handing drinks to everyone. Liz started speaking, in his overly- excited manner.
"Oh my gosh, you're Lucas! Hi! I'm Liz! It's so nice to meet you, I've heard so many things about you from Eliott!" Lucas' face looks pinched, as if he's swallowed something unpleasant, and he knocked two shots back before answering. "Hey." He simply said, with a nod of his head and a small smile. Eliott was surprised by the standoffish behavior Lucas is exhibiting. He knows he can be a hedgehog, but even this is a bit rude for him. Eliott was just wondering what happened between the time he got drinks and now, when Yann nudged his foot under the table. He lifted his head up to look at him, and Yann raised his eyebrow and titled his head to the side, as if indicating something to him. Eliott furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand what Yann was indicating, when Lucas suddenly spoke.
"I'm going to the dance floor, and then going back to the bar." He waved a napkin around, and continued. "The bartender just gave me his number, and he's kinda cute, so don't wait up for me." He announced, with the last part directed at Yann, and Eliott almost lost it. He untangled his hands from his cousin's shoulder, not realizing they have been pressed together the entire time, and rushed to go after Lucas, only for Yann to pull his hand down to his level and stop him. "Remember when I told you he thinks you've moved on?" Yann shifted his gaze and Eliott followed it, only for them to end up staring at his cousin, and suddenly, everything clicked. He stood up again and walked quickly towards the bar, hoping to get to Lucas before the bartender does. He's so anxious and desperate, he doesn't even pay attention if he's bumping to anyone. He'll be damned if Lucas goes home with someone tonight that isn't him!
When he got to the bar, the bartender and Lucas were smiling a bit flirty at each other, although Lucas' seems to be forced (though he may be biased), with Lucas pushing a napkin to the guy. And no, Eliott just can't have that. This is not happening to him tonight. He almost ran to the bar and when he got there, he didn't care about anything else. He grabbed Lucas' shoulders, turned him around, and kissed him deeply, tangling his fingers in Lucas' hair. Lucas was surprised, but responded almost immediately, at least for a few minutes. However, he was suddenly out of Eliott's hands and he was being pushed back.
"What the fuck, Eliott?"
----
Lucas' POV
Lucas is angry. Eliott doesn't have the right to do this. He doesn't get to date a gorgeous girl, bring her to the club to introduce to the rest of their friends, be all cozy the entire time, and then kiss Lucas like that. What is he even thinking? He can't believe Eliott can be this selfish!
"What the fuck, Eliott?" He repeated, a little bit more loudly this time. "Your girlfriend is right fucking there!" He gestured towards the table where their friends are, hands and lips trembling, trying so hard not to cry. Eliott looks so worried and sad, and he took a step closer. Lucas took a step back at that, and Eliott raised both his hands, as if to indicate he's not going further. "You don't get to do this, Eliott, not anymore! You've moved on! You've found someone else! I saw you at the video store and you even brought her here tonight!" It all just comes pouring out, like his tears, so suddenly, and he feels almost hysterical. "And now, what, I don't have the right to be with someone else? Are you that selfish? Do you just want to string me along with all those stupid, coffee shop study dates? Knowing all this time I'm still so fucking in love with you? Is that what you want?" Lucas is almost shouting now, but he doesn't care. Eliott looks so calm, as if he was just waiting for Lucas to let everything out, and of course, that's exactly what Lucas does.
"I'm still so fucking in love with you but I know, okay? I know! I know you have someone else, and I know I don't get to be hurt because it was my decision! I know! It's killing me every fucking day of this fucking life! It's killing me that you are no longer there at the end of the day! It's killing me that all I have now are old photos of us and your stupid, shitty dubstep music in my playlists!" His body is properly shaking now, but he pushed on. "Can't I just have this night to forget? I just want one night, Eliott. One. Fucking. Night. when I don't have to miss you and cry over you! And what, you don't want that? Because of what, huh? Because of what?" He challenged, fire blazing in his blood and his eyes.
"Because she's my cousin, not my girlfriend, and I'm still in love with you, too, damn it!" Eliott shouted back, and both of their eyes turned wide with surprise. After several moments of heavy breathing, Eliott sighed, stepped closer to Lucas, and took Lucas' face in his hands. "I'm still so, so in love with you, Lucas, please don't do this. Please, baby. I just want to be with you again, I promise. Lucas baby, please." Eliott whispered, pleading, and that broke the dam. Lucas started crying so hard, and wrapped his hands around Eliott's waist and hid his face in Eliott's shoulder. He felt Eliott hug him even tighter, and heard a faint cheer coming from the direction of the gang's table. He couldn't care less. Right now, all he cares about is the boy hugging him, refusing to let go of him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to Eliott's shirt, pressing a soft kiss over where his heart is. "I'm sorry I'm so stubborn. I'm sorry I assumed she was your girlfriend, it's just how you looked together tonight." He took a shaky breath in and let it out. "I'm sorry I went off on you." He felt Eliott laugh at that, and then he whispered in Lucas' ear. "It's okay, baby, Yann figured it out. I'm just so glad I caught you before you went home with the bartender. I mean, baby, he’s not even that cute." He pushed Lucas away a little bit, and took his face again in his hands, pressing kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, and then the tip of his nose. Lucas sighed and smiled, because this was heaven after going almost half a year without it.
"I was so jealous." They both said at the same time, and they laughed out loud, the tension breaking. Eliott continued, "I want you to go home with me, and just me. And I couldn't stand watching you flirt with anyone else. I was already planning on asking you to get back together with me tonight, but you had to be all dramatic." He did a playful eye roll, and Lucas hit shoulder lightly at that.
"Hey, I had every right to, I thought you were being all cozy with the new love of your life over there!" Eliott softened at that, and kissed Lucas deeply before responding. "Lucas, you're the love of my life. No one can ever replace you. Trust me." And Lucas knows there is so much more to that statement, knows that Eliott means to trust him not to hurt him again.
"I do. I trust you, Eliott." He breathed out, then looked Eliott straight in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"
And Eliott took one of Lucas' hands, placed it over his own heart, which was beating wildly. He cupped Lucas' face and stared deep into his soul.
"Yes, Lucas, I trust you. With everything. I trust you."
Fin.