Chapter Text
It had all been Sian’s idea. Apparently she’d had enough of Serena’s constant moaning about being without a partner since she broke up with Robbie the Bobby and needed to do something about it, particularly with Christmas coming up. Serena didn’t think she’d been moaning that much. Sure, she’d like a partner, someone to come home to at the end of a long shift and someone to treat her to meals out and the suchlike. And it was definitely true that she missed certain bedroom activities. However much she knew how to take care of herself, it just wasn’t the same without someone else sharing her bed. And she might have mentioned this to Sian once or twice when they were out at a bar or sharing a bottle or two of wine in her sitting room but she was sure she hadn’t been too bad. But such was life and now Sian had set her up with a profile on some dating app.
“For more mature lovers?” Serena questioned as Sian tried to show her how it all worked. “You’ve put my picture on an app with the tagline ‘For more mature lovers’?”
Sian batted at her arm. “Come now Serena, neither of us are spring chickens anymore. Plus, the guys on here have money and experience, if you know what I mean.”
Serena sighed. She knew this was all a terrible idea. Her and Sian had such different ideas about dating and love.
“Anyway, your picture isn’t public on this app. You choose when to reveal it to any potential lovers. Leads to a better connection apparently, if you’re not thinking purely about their looks.”
Serena looked at her in surprise. “That doesn’t sound like the usual dating apps you use.”
“I picked this one for you,” Sian said, “I do occasionally take your preferences into consideration! And I know that while you are a red-blooded woman who appreciates a handsome man, you need the emotional connection as well.”
“Oh,” Serena said, taken aback slightly, “Well thank you.”
“So, you can flick through profiles here. And anyone you like, you can message by pressing here.”
Serena nodded.
“Oh and by the way Serena, if you do get down and dirty with anyone from here, I want to know every last detail, so make sure you’re taking notes!”
She didn’t touch the app for a few days, busy with work as usual, and had almost forgotten about its existence when her phone beeped at her one evening. Picking up her phone, she found a notification from the app. A message. Curious, she opened it up and found a message from a man named Tom asking her whether she had had a good day. She flicked back to his profile. He claimed to be 58 years old and an accountant by trade. His hobbies were listed as reading and fishing. Boring potentially, but still, who looks good in a short text profile.
She messaged back, saying that her day had been good but that she was glad it was over and she could sit back and relax with a nice glass of wine. Seconds later her phone pinged again, this time with a picture. Intrigued, Serena pressed to open it and then almost threw her phone across the room in shock. She twisted the phone around to get a better look and confirm that yes, she was looking at a picture of the man’s penis. So much for the boring accountant!
It wasn’t bad looking, Serena decided after some consideration, but it didn’t endear the man to her. Instead she worked her way through a short menu to find the block button. A man that thought that was the way to a woman’s heart was not the man for her.
Sighing she texted Sian.
Thought this app was for mature people.
Sian replied almost instantly.
Got your first dick pic?
Is this common? Is this what men think we want?
Unfortunately so. Although it does mean you get to check out the goods before you buy!
Over the next few weeks, Serena found the block button very handy. There were plenty more dick pics as well as requests for nudes from her. In between there were a few messages from men who at least seemed like they knew how to treat a woman but they were all dull and conversation petered out after a few messages.
She received a message from a man named Adam while she was at work. Taking the opportunity to avoid the stack of paperwork that was piled up on her desk, she messaged back quickly. Adam, it seemed, worked for a bank, doing something he described as dull as dishwater but highly paid. Instead he talked about his travels, describing his recent trip to the Greek islands in such vivid detail that Serena almost felt like she’d been there herself. She responded with her plans for her trip to the Amalfi coast with Elinor next month and he gave her recommendations for where to eat. He asked more about her daughter and told her about his own sons from a previous marriage. All in all he was pleasant and thoughtful and exactly the type of person she thought she could fall in love with, given enough time.
She was so engrossed in this exchange of text messages that Raf had to knock twice to get her attention.
“What’s caught your attention this fine morning? Or should I say who?” he said.
Serena blushed. “Oh nothing, just this app Sian got me onto.”
“Sian signed you up for a dating app? That sounds dangerous.”
“Oh she’s not that bad. And anyway I was just having a lovely conversation with a nice gentleman. If he plays his cards right, I might let him take me out on a date sometime.”
“Right. Good. Anyway, can you come and give Mrs Wilson in bed 4 a second opinion please? I’m pretty certain she’s just got indigestion but she is insisting on seeing another doctor before she’ll let me discharge her.”
It was a few hours before she got back to the office in the end. While Mrs Wilson had indeed had indigestion, an RTC patient had come in while she was doing the consultation and she ended up in theatre fixing up their leg.
Still in her scrubs, she sank down into her chair and picked up her phone. There was a notification from the dating app which she eagerly opened, hoping for another message from Adam. She smiled when she saw that there was another message from him. In fact, she saw with growing confusion, there were a lot more messages from him. She started from the top of the thread, where the messages were normal, asking her further questions about herself, before descending rapidly into screaming horror. As far as she could tell, Adam had not responded well to the fact that she had been called away and therefore was no longer answering his messages. By the end of the messages he was full on ranting about how all women were bitches who didn’t care about men at all and so threw them away whenever they were bored.
Shocked, Serena fumbled with her phone to find that blessed block button. She leant back in her chair and tried to process what had just happened. How did a well-spoken, normal sounding man become whatever that was over the course of just a few hours? Well, she supposed, she’d dodged a bullet there. If she had gone on a date or even, god forbid, entered a relationship with him, who knows what he might have done one day when she was inevitably stuck in theatre.
She picked up her phone again and opened up the app. She aimlessly flicked through a few profiles, finding most of them dull sounding. She wondered whether there actually were any good men left out there or whether they had all been snatched up by clever women already. It was a shame she’d wasted so many years on Edward when she could have been spending them snagging one of these mythical good men for herself.
She contemplated giving it all up as a bad job and deleting the app. Her fingers hovered over the uninstall button before deciding to give it one more week. If she’d not found anyone worth finding in one week’s time, she’d delete the app and tell Sian that she wasn’t going to listen to any more of her dating advice in the future.
Fletch stuck his head around the door at the end of her shift.
“Albie’s tonight?” he asked. “I hear they’ve just got a new wine menu. Fancy checking out the new Shiraz?”
Serena let out a moan. “God yes. That is exactly what I need.”
“Bad day boss?”
“Not great,” Serena admitted.
“Hurry up and get changed then. You can tell us all about it at Albies.”
Albies was already bustling when Serena arrived. Raf waved at her from a table in the corner and she hurried over to join him, Fletch and Morven. A large glass of Shiraz was already sitting there in front of the empty chair.
“Fletch said you’d had a bad day. Thought you might need this before you tell us about it,” Raf said, edging the glass towards her.
She snatched at it gladly, ignoring Raf’s raised eyebrows. Taking a few sips, she closed her eyes and almost let out a moan.
“God I needed this,” she said, “It’s definitely been one of those weeks.”
“Do tell,” Morven prompted, “Raf said something about a dating app?”
Serena groaned. “Have you ever used one?” she asked Morven who blushed, “Well if you haven’t, I don’t recommend it. Men are terrible. I don’t know why I bother.”
“Hey!” Fletch said, “We’re not all that bad!”
“Present company excepted,” Serena said, waving her hand across the table at Fletch and Raf, “It’s enough to make me give up on men entirely. There’s got to be better options out there.”
Raf and Fletch shared a glance that Serena didn’t notice. Instead she focussed back on the wine and soon the glass was empty.
“Right, I need more of that. Anyone else want anything? I’ll get a round in.”
She stood, grabbing her purse out of her handbag, knocking her phone onto her seat in the process.
“I wouldn’t mind another beer boss,” Fletch said.
“Me too,” Raf said.
“Morven?”
“I’m alright thank you Serena. I need to head off soon anyway. Early start tomorrow and all.”
Serena nodded and turned to fight her way through the crowds to the bar.
The others watched her go.
“You think she’s really ok?” Morven asked.
Raf shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s really been through the ringer over the past few years and now from the sound of it, this dating app thing is just causing her more stress.”
Just then, as if on cue, Serena’s phone beeped. Morven, on the seat next to it, glanced down at it.
“Speak of the devil, it’s that app!” She picked it up and held it out to the boys. “Looks like she’s got another admirer!”
Fletch reached across and prodded the screen which was suddenly filled with a rather out of focus image of a male body part. He lurched back in surprise.
“Men really are pigs,” he said as Raf laughed and Morven spun the phone to see what was going on. It was lucky that she had a firm grasp or the phone may well have ended up in her gin and tonic judging by the shocked look on her face. She quickly put the phone face down on the table.
“No wonder she’s been having a bad day if that is what she’s being sent!” she said.
“I dunno,” Raf said, turned the phone for a second look, “It’s got some artistic merit. See how the blurring makes it almost look romantic.”
Gales of laughter emanating from their table caused Serena to turn and stare at them. From all the way across the room though, she couldn’t see what was making them all laugh so hard.
“Do you think she meant what she said,” Fletch said once the laughter had calmed, “About looking at better options?”
Morven looked confused. “What does she mean? Like a more sophisticated dating app? Or meeting people in person?”
Raf shook his head. “No. I think she meant better options than men. Like women.”
“Serena’s bi?” Morven asked.
“Have you seen the way she flirts with Jac Naylor?” Fletch said in response, “She’s forever complimenting her on her cheekbones.”
“She’s never said the words to me,” Raf said, “But I’ve always assumed. And definitely after that comment.”
Morven tipped her head on her side, thinking. “Do you think she’s been looking for women on that dating app? Are there even women looking for women on there?”
Fletch picked up the phone and opened up the dating app once more. He pulled up her profile and found the settings.
“She’s down as looking for men but there is an option to look for women. Do you think we should change it?”
Raf shook his head. “We shouldn’t…”
“But if it would help her. Maybe she’s too scared to do it herself,” Morven said, “She’s clearly not all that open about that part of her sexuality. Maybe this would be the push she needs.”
Fletch began doing something on the phone and before Raf could stop him, he’d changed the settings.
“There. I’ve removed the looking for men part entirely so she should only get women on there now.”
“I’m really not sure…” Raf said, glancing nervously at the bar.
“Oh stop being a worry-wart,” Morven said, “It’ll be fine. Maybe she’ll meet the love of her live and then she’ll be thanking us.”
“Watch out,” Fletch said, “Here she comes.”
And Serena was indeed there, pushing her way back to their table laden with two glasses of beer and an entire bottle of wine.
“Here you go,” she said, doling out the beer to the boys, “Now, what was all that hilarity a few moments ago?”
As Fletch speedily made up a lie about one of the Fletchlings latest school report, Serena poured out a large glass of wine and sunk deeper into the chair. It was good to be here with her colleagues. Who needed men anyway? Surely it was a much better option just to stick to friendships.