Chapter Text
Kyungsoo breathes out, he doesn’t want to feel this way, but ineluctably… he does.
The green big monster crawls on him once more. He knows he should be happy, but he can’t help but feel disappointed. He wants the award too, the recognition. Sought validation in every single thing he does, even if he doesn’t say it, he thinks about it and searches for signals of approval. But this time what hurts the most is that Kim Jongin won against him, again.
As he tries to control his anger, it’s unavoidable, he remembers his years in college with his ultimate source of jealousy, his nemesis Kim Jongin. Hot, tall, ‘too gorgeous to be gay’ perfect Jongin, with the best GPA of his generation. Popular and with time for extracurricular activities, jeopardy to Kyungsoo’s sanity if he is honest.
They attended the same university and shared four years in almost every class, majoring in biological sciences, parting their ways only when they entered their postgraduate. Jongin turned out to be a geneticist focusing on wildlife, whereas Kyungsoo specialized as a botanist.
As if life thought of them as jokes, both got work in the same university. However, their research centers were not in the same place that was a rest for the little angry man’s mind. He would have fallen into madness if he had to compete with that hassle at work every day.
The Institute of Basic Science was going to give Kim Jongin the 2019 Korea Science Award, and Kyungsoo didn’t understand the reason for his defeat. He contemplates for the award too and his work is as good as any other nominee. Guess the jury neither doesn’t have taste nor interest in leaf senescence, it’s their loss.
To make it worse, he still had to attend the ceremony, and that bothered him to no end. He needs to smile at people he is not comfortable with and has to socialize to maintain the good side of his superiors, probably. What a disaster night it’s going to be!
Spiritless, he prepared himself for the ceremony, wearing slacks, a turtleneck, and a long blazer all in black to match his mood and honor, the burial of his chance of success. While he combed his hair, he notices a gold ring on the dressing table, and even if his monsters were whispering to him not to wear it; he decides against them and wears it on.
Proclaiming himself ready for his Procrustean bed, he heads to his car, wishing for the ceremony to end quickly. He checks if everything he needed for the night were there and drives to the concert hall. When he arrived, people from different majors were already waiting for the ceremony to start. He curses himself for not being late.
Everyone puts a lot of effort into their appearance aside from it being an award ceremony, the opportunity to celebrate and get drunk, didn’t go to waste by his colleagues. They put excellent work in their fashion for maybe a chance to get laid or to impress other university fellas. But Kyungsoo feels bored.
The ceremony starts with a presentation. A typical speech about how science is the key to the progress of humanity. A little repetitive by now, still some get inspired by it. He cut his focus on it when they spoke about the world in need of people as dedicated as them.
Boring. Would Jongin give a speech as boring as this?
Thinking about him, Kyungsoo hasn’t seen Jongin all week. He was on a field trip to get some samples of some monkeys in another town. So tonight will be the first time he will see the guy for almost a week and a half.
Just when the winner of the KSA was about to announce, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Already rolling his eyes, he took it out to see who was bothering him in the sour night.
From: The biggest nuisance
I miss you. You look stunning tonight.
Kyungsoo, a little flustered, ignores the text yet. As he wasn’t paying any attention to the speech, he didn’t realize Kim Jongin is the one receiving the award and the check, taking photos with the committee.
He got even angrier when he saw his enemy was looking more handsome tonight.
Pretentious dyed ash brown hair and warm hazel eyes. He’s wearing black slacks with a white shirt that was slightly unbuttoned showing his sexy toned chest, on top of it he had a black blazer too, but what made him more desirable was the long ribbon he was wearing, along with choker, it was in black and matching perfectly with his attire.
Fucking Kim Jongin, how dare he!
Instantly he felt he should have put some more effort into his outfit, but anyhow at least his clothes had a purpose.
Soon after other recognitions were delivered, the music plays for people to slow dance and drink in peace.
Without noticing, someone approached him.
‘’Soo! For a moment I thought you will ditch the entire thing!’’ said Baekhyun, his best friend since middle school and a noisy prick he can’t seem to have control over.
‘’To my funeral? Oh, lord no! I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’’ Kyungsoo deadpanned, and that seems to make Baekhyun laugh.
‘’Don’t be like that, Soo. You know you are proud even if you didn’t win, you know your words hurt, don’t you? Also-‘’ and before he could finish his sentence, a pretty girl approaches them.
‘’Goodnight gentleman’’ said Han Chaerim.
A beautiful new intern dressed in a ravishing tight navy blue long dress with a prominent v neckline along with silver high heels that accentuated her slim figure. Her hair was loose and straight, framing her small face that had moderate makeup on it.
‘’Hello Chae, are you enjoying the night?’’ Baekhyun, the always social butterfly, tried to make conversation with her and Kyungsoo only nodded at her. He is sour and not in the mood
‘’Of course! I’m enjoying everything. Even the view, both of you look so handsome by the way’’ smiling sweetly at both of them, she says sweetly.
‘’Thanks, dear! Did someone catch your attention, yet?’’ and then Kyungsoo pays attention, finally.
‘’Who else, if not the star of the event? Had to admit Mr. Kim is looking delectable tonight.’’ Baekhyun’s eyes almost fell off of their orbits and were about to speak when Kyungsoo did it for him.
‘’Miss Han, do you know he has a boyfriend?’’ Kyungsoo interrupts, frowning at yet again his nemesis getting attention, but also his body feels cold and his stomach a tad entangled. The comment of the lady wasn’t settling well with him.
‘’Well, I heard some rumors but, if nothing is set in stone, you know it’s still available.’’ Miss Han winks and as if Jongin sensed they were talking about him, he looked in their direction.
‘’Oh my, there he is. How do I look, Mr. Byun?’’ Miss Han fixes the little details of her hair and dress, and somehow the entire situation entertains Baekhyun. So he just gave her a thumbs up, making her smile prettily.
She walks up to the appetizers’ table where Jongin stood talking with a jury. At first, she was just talking with both gentlemen.
Baekhyun fueled the fire a little more.
‘’Well, I hope those two have a nice and healthy relationship. It seems she... supports Mr. Kim in every success he makes~’’ the little shit dared to say.
He observes Jongin and Chaerim making conversation until the girl puts her hands on Jongin’s chest while laughing. The appalled look, a slight spark of discomfort, is visible in Jongin’s eyes. Kyungsoo fumes that he took firm steps towards them.
Jongin saw him approaching with a wide smile, Miss Han didn’t understand why Mr. Kim tensed, so when Kyungsoo stood close to them she briefly greeted him.
‘’Mr. Do? Hi, are you here to get something?’’ She eyed him like he is intruding on something and wants him lost, and perhaps he is intruding, but he has the right.
‘’Hmm, something like that.’’ He looked directly at her.
‘’M-Mr. Do? ’’ Jongin mumbles. He looks at him like a lost puppy with fond eyes.
Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes, trying to hide the red on his cheeks.
“Thought you’d stay with Baekhyun, these canapes are not that great.’’ Jongin gave him a cute pout, he had a bit of crumb in the side of his mouth, and Kyungsoo couldn’t resist. He cleans it with his thumb while intensely focusing on his eyes.
“Are you an idiot? Eat properly. Your mouth is dirty.” He hisses, too lost in his eyes to worry about where they were.
But Jongin was perplexed, and Miss Han got a little confused by the exchange.
Kyungsoo stares at the pout on Jongin’s face, wraps his hands around Jongin’s neck, and gives him a deep kiss on his soft lips. He saw the mild panic on Jongin’s face, after all, Kyungsoo was the one who wanted their relationship underwater, so it was sudden for him to be kissing in public, especially with coworkers surrounding them.
Jongin opens his eyes wide. But the kiss was feeling nice, so he played a little. He secured his hands-on Kyungsoo’s hips and put their bodies closer.
Kyungsoo side-eyed Miss Han as he sucks in the other lower lip, sending her an obvious message. He was the boyfriend, no flirting in his watch. Meanwhile, the taller male was enjoying the display of affection. So Kyungsoo stops to look directly at Jongin’s lips that now were a little wetter and his cheeks are tinted red too.
Fortunately, she took the hint, ashamed. She walks away without glancing back at them one last time.
‘’Soo, what was that for?! We are in public?’’ Jongin saw him with confusion but hopeful eyes.
‘’Mmmh, but she was touching what’s mine, and you were uncomfortable... or do you perhaps prefer the lady’s company?’’ Kyungsoo was just teasing. He still wasn’t seeing clearly. The green monster of a different kind was creeping on him.
‘’Of course not, Soo!’’ Jongin assured him, grabbing firmer Kyungsoo’s waist, ‘’I just thought you would not talk to me at all today.’’ and he gave him a small smile, trying to say ‘Hey it’s okay’ but failed miserably on it.
Kyungsoo felt a pang of pain. As much as he hated Jongin, as much as he despised him and seemed his enemy, he deeply adored him. Watching him insecure and dejected on his award night, even if he doesn’t admit it, pains him. He knows Jongin and how he struggles in silence with anxiety, especially about his relationship.
And Jongin, well, he was better than him in handling the relationship too. After being together for a long time, Kyung Soo felt Jongin cherished him in ways he can’t handle. Everything he wanted, Jongin gave it to him. It was just a matter of asking for it.
He was madly jealous of the award, of how perfect he is, but also he was madly in love with him.
An idea invaded his mind to make the night enjoyable.
‘’So are you telling me if I didn’t interfere, you would have fucked her?’’ his voice was deep, full of warning but quiet, only the two of them could hear it.
Jongin’s eyes were now full-blown. He knew that tone, and always it only brings trouble.
‘’I’d never, you know it’’ A glimpse of panic could be sensed in Jongin’s voice.
Kyungsoo didn’t wait anymore and took off his hands around his hips to interlace their hands. Jongin felt something cold against his hand and only then noticed Kyungsoo was wearing his ring. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t believe it either.
It was not much, but it was their couple’s ring. He gave it to Kyungsoo on their third anniversary. Kyungsoo took it gladly then, but he never wears it and never tells him he has a boyfriend, he doesn’t let anyone flirt with him, and even as the jealous boyfriend he is; he forbids Jongin to tell who his boyfriend is.
Kyungsoo led Jongin to the parking lot exit in haste. He had a purpose. On their way out, he saw Baekhyun and by his side Miss. Han.
She glances at them before leaving, and Kyungsoo dared to give her his best smirk. He had the pleasure to see the young lady mortified and Baekhyun laughing his ass off. They headed to the back of the concert hall at the section of the parking lot, where Kyungsoo had his car parked.
Jongin took a cab from the hotel to the event, so it was a given Kyungsoo would drive. The monster that tingles inside him since he laid his eyes on Jongin, displaying at full force now.
‘’Soo? What are we doing here? The event isn’t done yet.’’ Kyungsoo shut him with a kiss full of dominance and intensity. He wasn’t asking Jongin if he wanted it, he was stating he will need it. No more waiting for him. Jongin glanced at Kyungsoo’s eyes, and what he saw made him shiver.
Lust
It was raw, red, and pure lust.
Kyungsoo pushed Jongin against the car, trapping him with his arms and putting his knee between his legs. Jongin tries to whimper, but Kyungsoo eats it up with kisses.
‘’Yeah? I don’t think we can go home with your little friend like that, Jonginnie.’’ He teases.
Jongin was ashamed at how fast he went hard, but it was inevitable a week without his man was enough time apart. Plus his beau was looking really hot tonight, and after seeing him wearing the ring, he felt he could surrender at any wish Kyungsoo had.
‘’Look at you, winner of the KSA! Let’s see if the jury still deems you worth if they see you fucking on a dark parking lot.’’ Kyungsoo smirked, and as much as he saw Jongin trying to deny such deplorable behavior, he knew he’ll give in to him, anyway.
Kyungsoo got rid of his blazer and put it on the floor, adjusting it so his knees were comfortable enough for his next act. He tried to open Jongin’s zipper and as if the younger finally recognized what Kyungsoo was trying to do, he started to panic.
‘’Kyungsoo? No, not here we’re in a freaking parking lot! Anyone cou-’’ before he could finish, Kyungsoo kissed his clothed member, making him hiss. The thought of the older sucking him off right now was turning him on a lot.
Yeah, fuck it. Jongin will surrender to anything for him, who cares if they’re going to be in huge trouble.
‘’Ah, but you do like that, don’t you, Jonginnie? being the center of attention as always, so what’s the difference between them seeing you getting an award and seeing you getting a blowjob?’’
Jongin wants to protest. There was an astronomical difference, but Kyungsoo already got his member out, and Jongin was trying hard to not moan too loud. The sensation of the chilly breeze, and how Kyungsoo is doing things to him without even trying hard made him feel heaven.
Kyungsoo gave kisses to the veins of his dick, trying to savor every part of it, almost as if he was kissing a lover for the first time, very delicately, and got Jongin battling to speak properly.
‘’Soo not teasing… P-please’’ And just to prove he was the one in command, Kyungsoo shoved the most he could of the length in his mouth, making his spit drip, his tongue trying to make movements with expertise.
‘’Ah!’’ Jongin moaned. Kyungsoo’s mouth felt good and warm, his thick lips were adorning his cock perfectly. He kept sucking as far and fast as he could. Sometimes licking Jongin’s cock like it was candy while one of his hands was caressing the balls.
Jongin was a mess. He was trying hard to not moan loud enough to attract attention. In a moment, he lost himself and grabbed Kyungsoo’s hair hard. The groan in the moan of the other let out, gave him even more pleasure to his member. Jongin tries to breathe and calm himself.
Seemingly, there was no one around, but you can never be sure. Kyungsoo felt Jongin was tensing more and more, but the fun was just beginning, so he couldn’t let him finish, not yet.
“Soo? I’m c-close.” his chin is wet now with saliva, and he was bobbing his head rhythmically with ease.
Letting the member go out of his mouth with a pop sound, he cleaned with his sleeve a little and tapping the cock with his finger, the little devil said, ‘’Hmm, but we can’t let you come here in the open, should we, Jongin?!’’
“Ngh! don’t be like that.” Kyungsoo, while stroking Jongin’s member, opened the door of his car, then made Jongin sit facing him. His dick was hard enough, but for now, focusing on getting Jongin ready was the goal.
‘’Where was she touching?’’ Slowly the short man with the advantage slips one finger under Jongin’s long choker, feeling the taller swallow.
The poor guy only wants to come and maybe end the show somewhere more private . But Kyungsoo isn’t stopping. A jealous and angry Kyungsoo was a menace, especially for him. The pleasure he has in punishing Jongin is colossal, but the one he feels about Kyungsoo caring for him is bigger.
He is not good at making conversation with new people, and he doesn’t like to be touched unless a close friend or a good colleague and he is comfortable enough for that.
He knows Kyungsoo didn’t get exactly mad at the girl hitting on him. It was common for Jongin to have people trying to flirt with him, even though he establishes limits every time and always is showing off how he has a partner.
Kyungsoo must have sensed it would give him anxiety and got angry at the touchy girl. The short man is jealous of many things Jongin accomplishes, but he gets feral when someone makes him uncomfortable or puts him in an embarrassing situation.
They started on a rough path and the younger is overly conscious of the hatred Kyungsoo once had and still harbors towards him. After all, he knows him best, even his hurtful emotions. His thoughts get interrupted when he feels a little pressure on his throat.
‘’I’m touching you and you are thinking of something else?’’ Jongin retrieved himself from his memories and focused on Kyungsoo’s face. Taken by surprise, he lets out a loud moan, the menace is pinching one of his nipples through the fabric of his shirt.
The older broke his choker and pushed the taller to lay into the backseat, he crawled over him and put a leg between Jongin’s legs.
“I didn’t like that, you spent a week away and when I see you again you are flirting with who knows who, and now that I got you like this, you are distracted?” Kyungsoo spoke in a deep voice, full of warnings and a hint of more troubles.
“S-Soo, our bosses are inside that hall.” It was his last attempt to wait to get into a hotel at least.
‘’Tsk, did I tell you to speak? The only answer I want to hear is you moaning my name.’’ Jongin gulped and sealed his mouth, preferring not to make Kyungsoo angrier by uttering another word.
Kyungsoo rearranged himself on Jongin’s lap, as comfortable as he could in the confined space he sat above Jongin’s dick.
“She touched your arm, didn’t she?” He grabbed Jongin’s hands so he could do a fast handcuff knot on his wrists and put the taller arms above his head. “I’m not even going to close the door, dear. Let’s see if we both lose our jobs tonight.”
Kyungsoo started to grind his ass on Jongin’s dick and in between opening up the taller’s shirt to feel the phenomenal body under it.
He traces the lines of the defined muscles and hates how even the younger is superior and disciplined to go to the gym frequently to get a body like that. He might as well enjoy it.
Kyungsoo launches his mouth in one of Jongin’s nipples to kiss it and hears the other hissing, it excites him even more. He accommodates himself and starts to suck the nub fervently while touching Jongin’s dick.
‘’ahh you are a m-mean one, Soo’’ Jongin was trying not to come only by the long teasing.
The only answer he received was the other switching the nipple to suck, now licking it like the hungry man he was.
‘’Soo, please they hurt’’ Jongin didn’t know what was the plan for the other but the nubs were sensitive enough now.
Kyungsoo playfully bites the nipple getting a cute whine from Jongin in response.
He stopped the teasing and pulled down his zipper, finally freeing his member that was unattended for too long now. He gave attention to it for a moment and then took off his slacks.
Jongin at that moment confirmed what he suspected, this was all carefully planned.
Kyungsoo was not wearing underwear and surely had this prepared beforehand.
He hates that his diablo boyfriend is in control of his hands right now as Kyungsoo looks so pretty only in the tight turtleneck, blazer long forgotten outside the car.
The tight black turtleneck accentuated beautifully his little waist and plump ass. He wants to grab and squeeze it. His dear is a sexy, pretty thing .
Kyungsoo also pulled out Jongin’s slacks and underwear, he massaged his tights a little
‘’You know I’m a bit obsessed with your tights. They’re so meaty, defined, and just pretty. I’m a little upset we have no space and is dark so I won’t be able to see when they squirm’’
‘’Kyungsoo you know I’d gladly died choked by your curvy tights but what do you mean about mine squirming?’’ Jongin is wondering what the other had in mind, it should be something fast, they could get caught anytime soon.
Kyungsoo didn’t answer him and just reached the glove compartment to pull out a grey box that he had packed before going to the event.
He took out the lubricant bottle, some condoms, and a little pink vibrator that Jongin was fond of.
Kyungsoo opened the little bottle and coated one finger to start massaging Jongin’s hole entrance.
‘’Of course, you would bring that’’ Jongin felt a little disappointed in himself for not guessing sooner.
‘’Blah blah all you do is talk’’ Kyungsoo got frustrated and inserted abruptly the first digit, the taller tried to close his legs.
“Shut up with the nonsense, gorgeous. I only have one strap and it’s already on your wrists.”
He continued to rub Jongin’s inner walls and after a short time, he inserted a second digit into it. After stretching him well, he didn’t wait long to coat with abundant lubricant in his fingers and wedged in another finger for fun.
Jongin was trying hard to let no sound out, disappointing the shorter male.
“Why are you holding those pretty moans? Afraid someone might hear?’’ Kyungsoo speeded up the pace with three fingers now, deciding he had been patient enough, going faster and faster until he was always touching with every hit the magical gland on Jongin’s body.
‘’Darling, that’s the point.”
Looking at Jongin’s neck he noticed it was lacking colors, and who if not him to paint the tanned skin with the color of the monster of passion.
He started to kiss the vein on Jongin’s neck and after biting the area lightly.
‘’Kyungsoo’’ Jongin said softly arching his back a little just to show he was liking the focus on his neck.
He started to suck the area, blooming light cherry prints that surely will turn boysenberry later. He was proud of the garden he just created.
Kyungsoo loves how he knows Jongin is ready. He could see it in Jongin’s eyes, his soft moans offering he was waiting.
So he just went for it, coating the vibrator with a good amount of lubricant.
Jongin saw him comical the moment the vibrator got inside him and the loudest moan of the night was out. “Think you can handle that much?’’ Kyungsoo smirks at him and turns the vibrator on, slow mode first.
‘’Ahh! S-Soo~’’ Kyungsoo poured more lube into his fingers so he could finger himself a little before his next step.
He had prepared his ass in the shower, knowing for sure how the night was going to end, and with how jealous he was the outcome was predictable.
He puts the condom on Jongin’s dick and coats it with enough lube. Impaling himself slowly with the whole of Jongin’s member.
Both of them moaned, joining bodies always makes them feel electricity all over their bodies
Jongin tried to reach him with his hands, but once again Kyungsoo stopped him. He was tied up for a reason and he isn’t done with him yet.
Kyungsoo adjusts and waits to move. He loves the feeling of Jongin inside him and he dares to say one of his favorite activities is riding him, having the man under him, watching how worked up he makes him.
He loves it.
He didn’t bother to warn Jongin and just put the vibrator on maximum. Jongin started to wriggle and Kyungsoo started to move his hips just how he likes it.
The control he had over Jongin was consummating him. He felt the other’s cock slowly making eights until he let himself go.
Jongin has been on edge all night, and Kyungsoo knew he wouldn’t last long. He had no problem with that; he has been holding back too. Kyungsoo kept his ministrations until Jongin’s little screams were incoherent and too much.
The car was moving rhythmically along with Kyungsoo that was bouncing with vigor and gusto in Jongin’s cock.
“Ngh! I’m c-coming Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo was enjoying it a lot. He was now moaning louder than the boy under him. It had been too long since he saw him, even more since he touched him.
‘’Then come, pretty,’’ Kyungsoo whispered, biting the lobe of his ear.
It overwhelmed the younger, and Kyungsoo acknowledged it with the moan Jongin let out so kissed him hard.
They kept playing with their tongues. It was funny how Jongin even had missed the little devil’s plays. The tongue of Kyungsoo was casting a spell in the cave of his mouth and he just let himself be enchanted.
“I said come.” He heard Kyungsoo whispering on his lips while still moving his hips.
When he came, he bit the other’s lips, provoking another loud moan from him. He came hard finally releasing all that he has been holding in.
Kyungsoo starts to jerk himself off but as if Jongin read his mind, he tried to move.
‘’Lay down, let me help you’’ Kyungsoo didn’t question him. They hissed at the lost contact.
In a hurry, he did not lay down but sat on the backseat where they were, Jongin caught the plan and kneeling in an uncomfortable way he fitted himself in between Kyungsoo's legs, capturing with his lips the ignored member of Kyungsoo.
Jongin gagged as he didn’t have time to adjust himself and just shove it in his mouth, he bobbed his head a little but Kyungsoo was already sensitive and stimulated.
Kyungsoo pulls Jongins’s hair and freed his dick.
Jongin opened his mouth on time, discharging all in Jongin’s chest and part of his face.
The younger didn’t waste time and tried to dump himself aside Kyungsoo, the forgotten vibrator still going hard inside him.
‘’Please, turn it off or we won’t make it home with a job’’
‘’Oh!, right’’ Kyungsoo turned off the vibrator. Both were out of breath and needed a little time to get the air back.
Kyungsoo tried to get up and closed the door.
He took the condom of Jongin off, wrapped it up, and put it in a plastic bag for trash that he kept in the car. He didn’t bother to put the lube bottle or the vibrator in their respective box he just let them somewhere in the car, later he’ll sanitize it.
He also didn’t bother to untie Jongin’s wrists and snuggled himself into Jongin’s chest, placing Jongin’s arms above his head as they were tied, so he could fit in his arms.
It took a while for them to be comfortable in the limited space. Kyungsoo places little kisses on Jongin’s chin and the taller chuckles, tired enough to embrace him back.
“Why do you do this every time?” Jongin was a little whiny and pouting but was welcoming of Kyungsoo’s little kisses.
“Tsk. You do know you only won cause my other papers are still in revision, right? anyway, sex car is always welcomed”
That comment made Jongin’s heart drop a little. He loves Kyungsoo with all his life and he is still in love with him as a fool, he knows Kyungsoo doesn’t mean it, he’s jealous and a moody man.
But Jongin thinks words, especially the ones that people ‘’don’t mean’’ are like radiation, you don’t see it but are still harmful. Like gamma rays, the words penetrate to your insides, damaging every wall of love and trust you have built, finally burning your confidence.
He doesn’t want to push Kyungsoo out of his comfort zone immediately, it's just that sometimes his scars and insecurities get the best out of him even after six years of relationship Kyungsoo still doesn't want anyone to know they’re a couple.
Jongin was surprised to see Kyungsoo wearing his couple ring tonight, and it was more surprising than kissing him.
He says it’s for the protection of judgment that he wants to be cautious, but Jongin is a hopeless romantic even in the subtlest ways he wants to show how lucky he is for having the man by his side.
He wants to thank his partner in his speech and let the other doctors and interns know how delicious breakfast the short man gives him every day and how he would love to collaborate with him in a paper someday.
How their symbiosis is perfect, is like he is the algae and Kyungsoo is the fungi, their relationship is a lichen, they can’t create something so perfect without each other. They won’t even survive.
And depending on who you ask they will have different opinions of who needs or is more in charge of the other, that also describes themselves.
He wants to share that he is going home early because he has a night date with the best botanist in the world. He wants to show off who taught him to maintain good grafts and buddings.
He wants to brag about how cute their dates are. When Kyungsoo is in the mood they’ll go trekking or camping to watch birds, and as to how competitive Kyungsoo is they would have matches of who identifies more flowers and trees. If they are feeling simple they’ll go on coffee dates or will visit their nephews.
But if Kyungsoo doesn't want anyone to know, then he won’t say a word.
Despite how much he gets hurt he would never do something that exposes Kyungsoo to a panic attack or constant anxiety episodes, he is aware of the apexes in Kyungsoo's personality.
As for tonight, he will never say no to kinky reward sex. That’s also the fun part of their relationship; they'll never say no to satiate their curiosity, especially if it is rewarding and pleasurable.
Jongin hugs Kyungsoo’s body more tightly and with a silent sigh, he kisses the crown of the other’s head.
Kyungsoo felt the tiny sigh and the little deflated mood, but before he could say anything to the younger the other spoke, “That turtleneck is one of my favorites on you.”
Kyungsoo’s ears got brick red and got distracted by what he was going to say “Everything I wear should be your favorite.”
Jongin snorts but then laughs. He is right, anyway.
‘’Do you think someone saw us?’’ Jongin solicited.
“Well, if they did, I don’t know if either I should be proud of the good show or be cutting some eyes for seeing you naked.” Jongin laughed.
“Well, at least this time a cop didn’t catch us in the middle.” It was no new experience for them. Both enjoyed their exhibitionist kink.
“If you ask me, he was just a sour bastard. I didn’t give him the time of my day’’ Jongin with his lips close to Kyungsoo’s head said.
“Kyungsoo, language. and that’s why you should at least wear the ring.” Kyungsoo heard Jongin’s words carefully. He said that in a glee tone, but he knew somehow deep inside he was a bit hurt by Kyungsoo’s antics and had a different meaning.
Jongin wanted to take the relationship to the next step, they were already living together and as the romantic guy he is, he wanted to tie the knot, but Kyungsoo didn’t even want to announce he has a boyfriend solely because of his pride and jealousy.
So, he makes Jongin hold back on his fairytale.
It was something awful if you think about it. He had an amazing relationship and the greatest man on earth wanted to marry him, but he’s so stubborn and an awful person.
Jongin always gives him what he wants, whatever, whenever, wherever, he is always making things comfortable for him.
It’s not that he doesn’t care about stuff Jongin does, but he knows he is the one to make things difficult for them, even before they were together.
The taller as the ever sweet guy he is has always been patient with him, never giving up on Kyungsoo even at the failed beginning of their relationship.
In college, Jongin had a deep liking of Kyungsoo, and he had a deep distaste of the taller so naturally, the short guy rejected him the first time, which ended in both of them dating someone else.
In their major, it is unavoidable to work together in a lab or two or go to a few field practices, so they have to coexist in the same close space frequently.
Jongin was a kind man and even with the rejection he still was attentive to him but fucking kid he was an overachiever, excelled in everything and Kyungsoo was still hating him for it, still does.
What intrigued him the most was that Jongin decided to date a cheating guy, everyone knew but Jongin stayed. Kyungsoo didn’t understand why a guy like him kept torturing himself like that, so he asked.
The answer made him soft and at the same time made him for the first time think of him as an idiot.
‘’I like him, he is not the one , but at least I don’t feel lonely and I have someone to give my love to’’
He is the biggest idiot to be ‘’giving his love’’ to a cheater, but Kyungsoo was not going to say him that.
He compared his relationship and thought he won this time, but it felt wrong.
Their friendship and competitiveness evolve from that. Kyungsoo’s hatred intensified but did not put a name in that sentiment.
To Kyungsoo’s fortune and disgrace, and not being too late, he realized he likes his enemy way more than any other person he has ever known, and so their secret love story began.
Like everyone, Jongin has flaws. One that Kyungsoo battles with him frequently is that he keeps too many negative thoughts to himself, like tonight, on many occasions he knows he hurt him but he said nothing.
He wishes at least to be yelled at, for Jongin to not be too understanding, but that’s how his sweet Nini is. He might be too explosive about his emotions and resentful all the time. But he sincerely loves Jongin, no one would ever put up with him as Nini does.
‘’Should we go? Want me to drive?’’ Jongin asked him like the gentleman he is, even though he still had the vibrator up in his ass.
‘’I tie you, put a vibrator in your ass, use you like my live dildo, and still you want to drive us home?’’ Kyungsoo felt Jongin’s chest vibrate as he laughed. He wants to stay in this man’s arms forever.
‘’Well, we can’t go inside now, can we? Do you want to go to a drive-thru?’’
‘’fried chicken?’’
‘’with ice cream and beer?’’
‘’With whatever you want, baby. I’ll drive, rest your wrists just… give me a minute.”
They lay in the car’s darkness for a few more moments. Kyungsoo untied Jongin and helped them clean a bit and get dressed.
The taller male took a brief nap in the copilot seat while Kyungsoo got them home fast. They were tired and wanted just to shower, eat, and sleep.
At their home, they ordered food instead of driving to any place, and despite Jongin saying it’s okay not to have celebratory cake, Kyungsoo promised a coffee date later.
The shower was a peaceful one. Kyungsoo helped Jongin to clean himself and both washed each other’s hair.
When they got out fresh and clean, they put on their matching pajamas and went to bed.
Jongin was using his phone to answer some texts, as Kyungsoo was lying beside him, staring at him.
Kyungsoo was getting down of his high horse of love and again could hear his colored monsters whispering to him.
“You should have been number one”, “Now everyone knows, they saw the ring they’re going to compare you two”, “Once again, he ruined it for you, didn’t he?’’
“Soo? Is something wrong?” Jongin put his phone on the nightstand.
A plain frown coats his worried face, staring right at the blank face Kyungsoo was giving him. Was he mad?
“Soo?” But the other kept quiet and a serious face.
Was this because he didn’t want anyone to know?
Does he now regret tonight?
Should he not have won the award?
Jongin feels like his lungs constrict, his anxiety is making him think Kyungsoo is regretful of all the events, maybe he won’t wear the ring anymore.
He is angry and a little hurt. Silence sometimes gives more answers than words.
He knows Kyungsoo gets in that state when he is having inner conversations, and usually, those are not saying good things about him. Because every time he tries to talk things out, Kyungsoo just lash it out at him.
He likes to think he doesn’t mean any of the things he says in that state, and that his apologies are sincere. He has learned to give Kyungsoo space to calm whenever he feels Jongin is stressing him out, but the actions of the other don’t help to appease the insecurities and anxiety the situation gives him.
Maybe he’s tired and still overwhelmed by the events of the night, perhaps that’s why he feels so sensitive about it tonight.
Kyungsoo was so absorbed in trying to canalize his intense emotions and thoughts that he didn’t hear the sigh escaping Jongin’s mouth.
But he saw how Jongin wiped some tears as he got up. Instinctively Kyungsoo grabs the other’s arm with a paltry force startling Jongin.
“Kyungsoo you scared me, are you okay?” Jongin gets more worried at the sudden grab.
They are not teenagers, Jongin wants to be reassured that their relationship was going somewhere, that he was not a regret, that he was more than a threat to Kyungsoo and he will keep the promises he said.
Still no answer.
Am I that bad for you to hate me that much?
He sighs again but smiles at the man that always sends him mixed signals and tries to free his hand, but Kyungsoo just grabs him again.
“Would you mind if we just say we had a one-night stand and still keep this a secret?’’ Kyungsoo said, almost in a panic but like he had a brilliant idea. He didn’t even think about exactly how he worded the sentence. He just wanted to be free of the questions that would be aroused next Monday, when he confronts his coworkers.
‘’What? I don’t think I get it, Kyungsoo?’’ Jongin was lost to say the least.
‘’Yes, that way everyone that saw the kiss would think it was just a fling, so we can go back to normal. Is a good excuse, Jongin’’
He did know how little sometimes his wishes and feelings meant for Kyungsoo. He saw it coming when they celebrated their first anniversary and still Kyungsoo didn’t want to say it out loud, he had known when the short man rejected to wear their couple ring that at that time cost a big part of his salary but was given with love, just a token of their love.
But not even in a million years and worlds did he expect to be lowered as a night one stand.
“O-oh, a night one stand?” Jongin stared at him with the most pained expression in the world. His tears this time betrayed him and escape
He could not believe that after six years of relationship Kyungsoo is going to label him as a ‘One-night stand’. Maybe his friends were right. Kyungsoo will never marry him. Does he even want to?
A bigger question, does he even love him enough?
“Okay, I’ll just go to the bathroom quickly.” He caresses Kyungsoo’s face shortly, then wipes his cheeks, just for this time he’ll just let Kyungsoo see his tears.
He leaves the bed to the bathroom.
Jongin blames himself. If he did things better, his lover wouldn’t have felt the way he does and wouldn’t see him as a curse. It must be his fault for not making Kyungsoo feel enough and secure, maybe that way he wouldn’t be something to be ashamed of.
Was he wrong in choosing Kyungsoo as the one ? Maybe for Kyungsoo, he was not the one.
He thought they survived only with each other, enhancing the best of both together. Maybe the reality was he is just an intermediate host for Kyungsoo until he finds the definite one to have their happy ending.
When Kyungsoo heard the door closing, he let out a breath and punched the empty side of the bed.
What the fuck did he just say? What the hell is he doing? Tonight he is supposed to pamper Jongin. But he just went into full panic mode, thinking about people asking. Fuck.
The anxiousness he feels of people comparing him with the guy that keeps winning in everything is a very big deal with him. It’s something that many don’t understand, they never will, the voices, the fear, the anxiety. No one would understand how triggering for him are those situations.
He’s been like that since he was a kid with many things and many people. He has ruined many relationships and he should treasure that he has someone that loves him even when he pulls shit like that.
He will never catch up with Jongin, he has been above him since long ago.
Then Baekhyun words hunt him again “I hope those two have a nice and healthy relationship, it seems she... supports Mr. Kim in every success he makes.” It doesn’t feel right for him to let Jongin go to another’s arms. He is selfish, but isn’t it better to free him?
Jongin came out of the bathroom way later and his face showed he had cried a lot, puffy nose, puffy eyes, and cheeks flushing. Even like that, he is adorable, if it was another situation he would coo at him.
Immediately Kyungsoo sat on the bed. “Jongin, wait, I didn’t mean what I said I-” he tries to apologize as soon as he can, but Jongin interrupts him.
“Kyungsoo, I know you panicked and I admit I’m beyond hurt.” Kyungsoo flinched a little. It was one thing knowing you hurt a loved one, but hearing them saying it was way more painful.
Jongin saw the wince and just sat beside Kyungsoo to hold his hand and kissed his knuckles.
“B-But you know? I love you. Even after six years I still love you, maybe not in the same way because we’ve matured with time, but enough to say I can wait a little longer. If you want to say that I am a ’one night stand’ to you, it is okay for me, I know it is difficult for you to... even acknowledge me at work. I can’t expect you suddenly will tell people we are together’’
After all, for him, Kyungsoo was the best lover. Even if in the future Kyungsoo leaves him, that’s okay. At least he tried until the very end.
‘’Maybe, maybe this is the way our love is supposed to be, a secret. A forever without the promise of a wedding where we wear rings, just the promise of a forever discreet love. That’s okay, Soo’’
Kyungsoo was bawling, how? How the fuck could he say something like that? It‘s not fair. Jongin was just wiping his tears and giving his cheeks kisses.
‘’Even if I’m just your intermediate host in the way of your happy ending, I’ll try my best. If you saying I’m a one night stand is all it takes for you to keep loving me then I’m fine’’
‘’Wait, what do you mean about the host thing’’ This was an emotional moment but Kyungsoo didn’t understand what that was all about
‘’I’m always wondering why you would n-not marry me, that’s a question that haunts me even in my dreams. The algae and the fungi go in their separate ways and their love dies like that, at least I perish in my dream’’
Kyungsoo was beginning to understand the point, for more awkward than it sounded.
‘’If I’m just in the way of your happy ending or until you find someone better or until you overcome every competition I can give you that’s also fine with me. I prefer to treasure this. I'll face loneliness later. But you would always be my happy ending Kyungsoo, you’re my one, since always, my fungi to this lichen’’
That was what Jongin think of him? oh my god, Kim Jongin. You weird dork.
‘’Jongin. I don’t deserve you... l-like at all’’ Kyungsoo said almost incoherently, he was crying the hardest he has ever cried in his life.
Jongin just laughed.
“Of course you do Kyungsoo,” When Kyungsoo calmed down a little, Jongin said he would prepare him tea, so he could relax a little, but the other refused to be separated from Jongin at that moment.
“I’m sorry” Jongin arranged them, so they could cuddle, him being the big spoon so he can soothe Kyungsoo.
‘’I know, shh, just sleep this one off okay? tomorrow I can send Baekhyun a text so maybe he can start a rumor?’’
‘’Baby steps’’ and okay at that, Jongin didn’t know what was he talking about
‘’What was that?’’ Jongin said calmly, petting Kyungsoo's head to help him sleep.
‘’I’ll wear the ring and say I have a boyfriend’’
That had an instant reaction of the younger, he moved them so he could look at Kyungsoo directly in the eyes.
‘’W-what? Are y-you?’’
‘’Not yet. Let them speculate and when I can handle it, we can announce it’’ Kyungsoo was not looking at him still
‘’Okay, Soo. Baby steps’’ Jongin kisses Kyungsoo's head thinking the conversation is over until the older speaks again.
‘’And... Jongin?
‘’Hmm?’’
It was brown.
The new crawling monster in his mind was brown, like the color of Jongin’s eyes.
For him, it was the color of love.
Kyungsoo clasped him, ‘’I’m not ashamed of you, never, I just have a severe problem that I need to take care of and stop avoiding my responsibilities as your partner. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you’re my endgame too, my algae’’ at the end cuddling, hiding his tears inside Jongin's neck.
Jongin was happy with his words and absolutely not ashamed of the slip of comparatives of his relationship to freaking lichens.
‘’I love you, Nini’’
Jongin let some tears he had been holding, ‘’And I love you the most’’