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They can definitely stay here a while. Together.
Joshua is clearly thinking the same thing, because his arms have risen to wind around Neku’s shoulders. With that and his legs wrapped around him, Joshua’s whole body clings to Neku - no, Joshua and “cling” don’t belong in the same sentence together, do they?
Neku runs his fingers through the roots of Joshua’s hair, soft, parting to his touch. Finally, in this moment of quiet, with a clear head and nothing else going on, it’s so strikingly clear - he’s kissing Joshua, and Joshua is kissing him. They’re here, like this, together. Less than an hour ago, Joshua was threatening to erase Neku’s memories. Now, he’s touching Neku so much and got his tongue so far into Neku’s mouth that it’s like he’s trying to permanently embed every sensation into his mind.
Which Neku wonders for a second if Joshua is doing something, because he’s still dizzy, but also lightheaded, and it kind of hurts -
He breaks away to take in a deep breath, instinctively grabbing his forehead to try and dull some of the feeling.
“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, quietly.
“Yeah,” Neku says, more automatically than anything else. “My head just… hurts.”
“Mm,” Joshua hums. “Honestly, it’s impressive you’re still conscious. I’d say I’m surprised, but…” One of his hands comes down to brush aside some hair from the side of Neku’s face. “It’s you.”
Neku can roll with that. He thinks it’s more the fact that kissing Joshua feels so good that it would keep him away even if he were on the brink of collapse, but he keeps that to himself.
“Still,” Joshua goes on, “you should rest.” Despite his words, he keeps his legs wound right around Neku. His eyes are not so subtly drifting to Neku’s lips.
Neku’s not really enticed to go rest.
And so he just kisses Joshua, again. He slides his tongue across Joshua’s lip and -
- feels a force as if he’s being pushed, simultaneously with Joshua’s legs and arms leaving him. It lifts him up onto his feet, away from Joshua.
“Hey,” Neku says, pouting a little as Joshua stands up himself.
Joshua smirks. “Well, you’re going to have to get a grasp on these powers sooner or later, and what better way than with a hands on demonstration?”
Neku narrows his eyes a bit. Frustratingly, Joshua has a point, because Neku is certainly willing certain things right now and nothing is happening, so there’s obviously more to these powers than just thinking.
“You’re right, though,” Joshua says, taking a step closer. “We should go see Mr. H. And then you should rest.”
He holds out his hand, and Neku takes it. “I’ll do this. Just relax, for now.”
Neku closes his eyes, mostly bracing himself for the dizzy sensation. But also, he’s not sure he can look Joshua in the eye right now. God. They had just been - on the ground like that - just -
The world is shifting around him for one chaotic moment, and then he feels himself on solid ground. Neku opens his eyes and of course, they’re at WildKat.
Joshua lets go of his hand and puts his own on the door and - takes a deep breath? - and then opens it, holding it for Neku.
“Well, well, well,” Mr. H says, leaning forward on the counter and eyeing them both. “Do I have the honor of being the first to receive the news?”
Neku freezes. It’s - not that obvious, is it? Is he staring? Is he -
“Unfortunately, Hazuki intruded on us not long ago,” Joshua sighs with an eye roll.
“Sounds like him,” Mr. H says with a short chuckle. “That was quite the change we felt. I imagine even some of the Reapers felt it.”
Oh, it’s about that. Duh.
“Mm,” Joshua hums as he and Neku both take a seat at the counter. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Joshua is looking at Mr. H with such intensity that Neku almost wonders if he’s trying to communicate telepathically. Maybe he is, and maybe he’s succeeding, because Mr. H’s mouth quirks into a wry smile.
“I don’t think there’s reason to be concerned about him,” Mr. H says. “He should probably rest and he’s definitely gonna feel strange, but he’ll be fine. Getting used to those powers is another story, but… thankfully he’s got someone who knows that experience too well with him.”
The intensity of Joshua’s stare lessens a bit. “Alright. Well, you heard him, Neku. Let’s get going.”
Neku blinks. Had… Joshua really just come here to make sure Neku would be okay? Surely he could tell by now that Neku’s fine, right?
Of course, Neku knows that when you care, rationality tends to be overridden, but -
He shifts a little, staring straight down at the counter. His heart feels like it’s jumped up a good foot and - maybe he does need that rest.
As quickly as they’d come in, Joshua is sliding off the stool and making for the door. Neku looks from him and then back to Mr. H, giving a kind of apologetic nod. “Uh, see you,” he says, waving a little awkwardly.
Mr. H waves back. “Sure thing, Boss. Though I guess that’s not just a nickname, anymore, huh?”
He laughs, and it does manage to make Neku smile a little - before the awkwardness settles in, anyway. He’s Mr. H’s - no, that’s too weird. But he knows Joshua is, so… okay, still too weird. He decides to just not think about that one right now.
Neku heads out the door following Joshua, giving another wave as he does so. Joshua rounds the immediate corner, putting them into the secluded alleyway.
He holds out his hand to Neku. “Ready to go?”
Neku nods, bringing his own hand up - is there anything he wanted to bring up to Mr. H, while he’s here? Well, surely anything could wait…
No, Neku shakes his head. “Uh… actually…” He clears his throat a little. Why does this suddenly feel so awkward? Maybe because - well. If he says this, it’s… it’s real, verbal acknowledgement of - this. Ugh, and he probably just looked like a total idiot in front of Mr. H. Mr. H, who’s now his - oh, man, okay, no, can of worms, Neku cannot even think the word subordinate or some such in regards to the man who’s basically akin to a mentor to him, and based on the way he acted with Joshua, he’s kind of some sort of weird uncle, dad, thing - so then if Neku and Joshua are - then -
The fluster is certainly quite evident on his face, and he makes no real attempt to hide it. Joshua pulls his hand back, crossing his arms and tilting his head with an amused smirk dressing it. “Whatever is it, Neku?”
“Uh -” Neku stammers. “Well, I just… I didn’t know if you wanted to… you know.” Again, Neku clears his throat. Just say it. He’s just become a Composer, which while that certainly doesn’t feel real yet, if he can do that, he can - just say words, right? He gestures vaguely between himself and Joshua, and goes on, “Tell him about… this.”
Neku can feel, sharply, the heat surging onto his face. Normally, the feeling would just bother him, but - Joshua is giggling, stifling it a bit with one of his hands, but his eyes are closed happily and even if it’s at Neku’s expense - he just looks so cute Neku almost -
“Truthfully, Neku,” Joshua says, looking at him again and his voice still a bit laugh-broken, “I think he probably pieced it together based on how you were acting.”
Neku rubs the back of his neck, staring down at the ground. Okay, that’s fair. But - still. No matter what Mr. H might be to Joshua, they’re definitely important to each other. Doesn’t… Joshua want to tell him?
Is there some reason he doesn’t want Mr. H to know? Is Joshua… not sure about this part of things? Or maybe it’s just something he wants to keep under wraps? Neku’s heart sinks a bit. Well, that’s - fine. Joshua is a private person, after all. It’s fine if he didn’t want to advertise -
Joshua closes the distances between them in a step, and Neku is pushed back a little, back lightly hitting the wall. Their noses are nearly touching, and god even in the shadowed alleyway, Joshua’s eyes are bright, shimmering, so magnetically close -
“I wanted your okay first,” Joshua says, quietly.
He kisses Neku before Neku can reply at all, and Neku knows that’s intentional. His hands come to rest on either side of Neku’s head as he brings his body closer, until their chests are flush together. Neku wants to think about Joshua’s actual words, maybe, but - all he can do is helplessly bring his arms around Joshua’s back, urging him closer, tilting his head so that he can easily slide his tongue into Joshua’s mouth. It’s slow and deliberate, the way they move over each other, but it’s as dizzying as it was before, and now that they’re standing, he wonders if his legs will simply give out under him, seeing as they feel like jelly.
Somewhere distantly, Neku is able to grasp a little more fully - he’s kissing Joshua, and Joshua is kissing him.
They’re just - like this now.
In Joshua’s own words, they’re the one Composer of Shibuya. It’s a thought that should send Neku’s head spinning much more than the kiss, and yet - it’s hardly what’s on his mind. No, what’s on his mind is - them.
Their… relationship.
Is this something Neku can do? Being with someone like this - it’s not anything Neku has the first clue about, not really. Though he is sure of some parts of it. It’s wanting to be with someone no matter what - it’s putting them over everything else - it’s being willing to do anything for them - it’s accepting them for who they are - Neku is sure of all this. He - feels a very specific way about Joshua that encompasses all that -
But it’s not just about that, Neku knows. He knows it’s making someone happy, it’s fulfilling their needs and wants, it’s being someone they can rely on no matter what -
Can Neku do that? For Joshua?
Neku slows their kiss to stop, opens his eyes and - meets Joshua’s. Have they been open the whole time? And if so, have they… had this look they have to them now? That familiar look of study, like he’s trying to read Neku like a book, as if to scan him with only his eyes. Because he’s -
Hesitant. Unsure.
Neku pushes against Joshua’s lips and holds him all the tighter. He feels Joshua’s whole body relax against him, he feels the soft exhale and release of tension.
He feels himself relax, too.
They kiss until they can’t anymore, until they’re totally out of breath and breaking apart by sheer necessity. Neku’s knees shake under him and Joshua’s hands come to his shoulders.
“Let’s get you some rest,” he says, quietly.
Neku nods.
He closes his eyes as everything shifts around them again, and opens them only when they’re in the dorm.
Despite barely having the energy to, Neku manages to slip out of his shoes before all but falling onto the bed. Turning himself onto his back, he’s forced to take in the whole room - technically his room, but it certainly hasn’t felt like it even a bit since he came back.
“What’s going to happen to this place?” He asks.
Joshua sits on the other side of the bed. “Whatever you want. Do you want to go to college?”
“I… dunno,” Neku says honestly. “Can I - is that something I can really do, even like… this?”
It might be easier to accept than what he and Joshua have going on between them now, but Neku’s still not exactly sure when he’s going to call himself a Composer out loud. It’s just surreal.
“Of course you can,” Joshua answers. “You can do whatever you want.” He tilts his head, giving Neku a playful smile. “Good thing you have time to think about it, hm?”
Neku smiles back.
And then he reaches his arms out, grabbing Joshua by his own and pulling him down next to him.
“Jumping ahead, are we?” Joshua says, smirk growing, and Neku just rolls his eyes. Even if his face feels a little warmer.
That - isn’t what he was thinking at all, but it -
“I don’t want you going anywhere this time,” Neku says, honestly. He scoots closer, so that he can lean his head against Joshua’s side. “When I wake up… you better be here.”
He closes his eyes. Joshua doesn’t respond for a moment.
And then Neku feels his hand on hair, stroking it in a familiar gentleness.
“Mm. Promise.”
Joshua keeps his word, of course. He stays as Neku’s sleep stretches into an hour, and then another, and another.
It’s quiet here, in the dorm. The sounds of the city are farther away than usual.
No, no in the dorm. Maybe the other day Josuha would have let that one slide, let him tell himself that, but it’s the fact that Neku is against him. Neku takes his focus. His breathing is louder than the city sounds, despite the fact that it’s the quiet, even rhythm of sleep. The small rising and falling of his torso against Joshua feels like a weight, a comforting grounding.
For a while, Joshua watches. Sometimes he looks at his phone and does a Tin Pin match. But mostly, he pays attention to Neku. To the peaceful repose of his face in rest, the way his eyes are closed like everything is right in the world.
Joshua thinks, for once, that it really is.
Enough so that even Joshua closes his eyes. Not that he intends on sleeping, of course, but… it lets him focus on the sounds more. Not just the sounds of Neku’s breathing, but the sound of his music. The pleasant hum, the notes finally in tune and time with everything else. No more discordance, no more arrhythmic keys. It is a pleasant melody, in harmony the city, and more so than the city -
In harmony with Joshua.
One and the same, really. The city is in harmony with Neku as much as Neku is in harmony with it, after all.
Joshua is more than content to listen until Neku wakes.
Which is a couple of hours later.
Joshua feels Neku stirring against him, he hears the melody a little louder and he watches as Neku’s eyes flutter open. He yawns and stretches, still leaning against Joshua all the while.
“Morning, sunshine.”
“G’morning,” Neku mumbles, voice still thick with sleep. He fumbles around his pockets, taking out his phone and presumably checking the time.
“You should probably eat,” Joshua says. After all, Neku is still very much alive - he has a physical body that needs rest and nutrition. These are likely things that Neku can train himself out of, and power his body on his new powers alone, but… that’s neither here nor there right now. It would be best to ease into that, if that’s even what Neku will want.
“Yeah. M’starving,” Neku says with another yawn. He starts typing away on his phone, and Joshua tilts his head curiously.
A minute later, he looks up at Joshua. “Have you been to that ramen place that’s next to Ken Doi’s?” Joshua shakes his head and Neku continues, “Alright. Well it’s not far and Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme are close by, so that’s where we’re headed.”
Joshua just watches as Neku gets up, stretching again before he starts to put his shoes back on. “We’re going out with them?” He clarifies.
“Yeah. I wanna tell them,” Neku says, already heading for the door.
Joshua slides off the bed, giving Neku a look which of course he can’t see with his back turned. Joshua certainly didn’t sign up for this. Neku’s friends were Neku’s business, not Joshua’s.
As if reading his mind, Neku turns around and faces him. “You don’t… have to come,” he says. His hands are in his coat pockets, and his eyes have moved away from Joshua’s.
No, Joshua certainly doesn’t have to.
And he knows Neku wouldn’t actually force him.
He takes a few steps forward until he can skim his fingers on Neku’s forearm.
“You want me to, though,” Joshua says.
Neku meets his gaze again. “You’re… important. If you’re comfortable with it, then… I want you to be a part of this.”
His eyes are blue and earnest, tinged with the warmth of the dwindling sun.
“Then let’s be off,” Joshua says. Because even if he could technically say no, realistically -
A wide smile breaks onto Neku’s face, like the sun above a horizon. It makes his eyes sparkle, all too easy to see when he steps forward and presses a quick kiss to Joshua’s cheek. “Thanks,” he says, and then he turns right around for the door again.
Maybe not being able to say no isn’t such a bad thing.
Despite the fact that they had decided to go out to eat, apparently they wanted to meet at Hachiko. A bit of a tradition thing, maybe, and at least if this goes poorly it won’t be as awkward here as it would be inside the restaurant.
Joshua and Neku arrive last, coming upon the sight of Shiki, Beat, and Rhyme all chatting animatedly amongst each other. Happy, naturally, easily. A group Neku clearly belongs to, the space where he should be standing so very notable. They’re absorbed enough in it that they don’t notice the two of them, not at first.
Neku - really should just enjoy his time. Why risk this?
Joshua takes his wrist in the moment they have. “Neku. Are you sure about this?”
Neku turns, and as if expecting it, there’s already a reassuring smile on his face. “Of course.”
Well, if he’s sure.
Joshua slides his hand back, skimming Neku’s fingertips as he goes. Neku curls them around Joshua’s just a bit before he goes.
“Hey,” Neku says, with a wave, walking right up to them. Joshua stays at his side.
Shiki smiles and waves back, as do Beat and Rhyme, but their eyes are glued to Joshua. “Yo, I didn’t know he was comin’,” Beat says.
“Yeah, surprise,” Neku says. “I figured it was about time he showed up.”
“Mm, quite the surprise,” Shiki “agrees” - though she’s smiling in a way that tells Joshua that’s far from the truth for her.
“The more the merrier,” Rhyme says with a grin, and Beat nods eagerly.
Beat is already turning around. “Le’s get going before I need to eat two bowls.”
“Wait,” Neku says, clearing his throat. “Uh, before we go…”
His friends stop - though Shiki hadn’t even started moving - and face him. Beat and Rhyme have their heads both tilted in a true picture of siblings, and Shiki still has a too-knowing smile on her face.
“Um,” Neku stammers in a way that tells Joshua he clearly hadn’t even thought of how to word this. He manages to keep the smirk off his face. “We… we’re…”
Neku probably doesn’t even have to finish the sentence, because his face is flushing by the second. Rhyme already has her hand over her mouth, and the realization visibly crashes over Beat as Neku takes Joshua’s hand.
“About time,” Shiki says, her smile only growing wider. There’s a “congratulations!” from Rhyme, and Beat slaps his hand right to Neku’s shoulder. “Yo, if you’re happy, I’m happy. Prob’ly just makes sense that someone as cool as you gets the biggest guy in Shibuya, huh?”
He laughs, and Neku laughs, and so do Shiki and Rhyme. It hits Joshua that Neku thought to tell them this first, rather than the whole Composer thing.
Well - this is probably easier. Right?
Still, Joshua smiles. Maybe he should be surprised that they’re so accepting, but - they are Neku’s friends.
And Shiki and Beat are both giving Joshua a look like there’s words to say, but won’t in front of Neku. So be it.
“Well that’s definitely an excuse for two bowls,” Beat says. “Cuz now it’s a party. Le’s go.”
“Uh, wait,” Neku interjects again, before Beat can even turn around this time. “There’s… another thing.”
Again, he has their full attention. The knowing smile on Shiki’s face is replaced by one of genuine curiosity.
Neku is quiet. The city is loud around them, people chatting about this and that and cars moving and traffic lights blinking and songs picking up in tempo.
“I’m - also the Composer, now. With Joshua.”
He blurts it out. His friends stare at him, and Neku stares back. Joshua watches, entirely still.
“Huh? Whatchu mean?” Beat finally asks, rubbing the back of his head.
“We - should probably just explain as we go. It’s a lot -”
Neku cuts off, and it’s easy to see why, with Shiki’s eyes widening in clear horror and Rhyme covering her gasp with both hands. The same idea has clearly come into Beat’s head as well, because he takes an angry step forward. “Yo, are you serious? Does that mean - are you dead, yo? Did he -”
Joshua nearly rolls his eyes, because obviously not, but he keeps himself in check. And it’s probably not so obvious to them, especially when they’ve had to go through the pain of losing Neku once again, already, and he’s only just gotten back -
He doesn’t move at all even as Beat lunges, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. There’s a million things Joshua could do in retaliation - but he does none. For one, he’s not going to risk driving a wedge in this even further - not between Neku and his friends - and two, Joshua has, in fact, taken Neku’s life in the past, this is probably a natural reaction - maybe deserved -
Beat is winding up for the punch, but Neku’s already throwing himself in between them. “Wait, stop, stop! I’m not dead! Everything’s fine! Sorry, I should have - opened with that.”
Joshua’s let go of since Neku’s in between them now, but it’s clearly not all that willing, as Beat is still glaring daggers. “Then what the hell is going on? What the hell did you trick him into?”
“Stop it,” Neku says, taking another step - defensively - in front of Joshua. “He didn’t do anything. I… I wanted this.”
“You… wanted to be part of the UG?” Rhyme says, shifting on her feet a bit. “But Neku, you just…”
“I know, I know,” Neku says quickly. “I’m not - I’m still here. I’m alive, in the RG, with you all. I just… just hear me out.”
It’s Shiki who steps forward. There’s certainly not an entire lack of concern on her face, but the abject horror is gone. “I trust you, Neku,” she says. “We all should. Let’s… hear about it.”
The words seem to assuage the other two. Rhyme nods, and Beat does in turn, in addition to making a gruff exhale. “Fine,” he says. “I meant what I said about you bein’ happy. But you’re also s’posed to be healthy, aight? Now le’s finally bounce and you can tell us the story.”
He turns and heads off, Rhyme in tow. Shiki gives Neku a sympathetic smile - that she extends to Joshua, too. He nods at her, and she turns to follow the siblings.
“Yes, I do think it would have been best to open with something like ‘I’m very alive, don’t worry,’” Joshua says, tossing Neku a playful smile.
“Look, I’m still tired,” Neku says with a small sigh. “I don’t think there’s any way I could have worded that to make it go over totally smoothly.”
“Well, I’ll try to answer any questions they have to the best of my abilities,” Joshua says, starting to follow them along before they’re all that far behind.
But now it’s Neku taking him by the wrist, and Joshua turning to face him. Though this time, Neku’s hand slides down, into Joshua’s own, before taking a gentle, but firm hold of it. He steps forward and plants a quick kiss to Joshua’s cheek. “Thanks. I appreciate this.”
Joshua just nods. And Neku starts walking, still holding his hand. Joshua holds it back, and walks with him.
The dinner was, predictably, long and full of questions. But by the end of it, Neku’s friends seemed content enough - content enough that by the end they were laughing, joking, and Neku was laughing with them, smiling, comfortable. To Joshua, that’s plenty success.
They exit the restaurant only when they’re forced to at closing time. There’s see-yous and hugs - Shiki seems to almost go in for one on Joshua, but pulls herself back. Until Beat is tossing his arms around them all, anyway, bringing each one of them into a big mess of bodies knocking together. Joshua feels stiff in it, too many hands on his back, and he awkwardly brings his own up, mostly at Neku’s nudging.
He lets out what’s hopefully not too obvious of a sigh of relief as everyone finally lets go and takes steps back. A bit of lingering conversation later, and they finally all part ways.
Once they’re well alone, Neku lets out a long sigh. “That was nice. I’m happy.”
Joshua glances over at him. A wide smile is still on his face, lighting up his whole expression. It’s contagious. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
Neku slows down before stopping altogether. Joshua stops in turn, and meets his gaze. “Thanks,” Neku says. “I really mean that.”
Joshua turns his smile into more of a smirk. “Mm. You said. Though of course I don’t mind if you want to lavish further praise on me.”
“Unfortunately for you,” Neku says with a fond smile and an eye roll, “I just have a question.”
He takes a step closer, gently taking not one, but both of Joshua’s hands. Joshua glances down at them. Even in the night air, Neku’s hands are warm.
“I’m glad we have… I dunno. The good graces of my friends… and Mr. H,” Neku says. “But I…” His eyes drift down to their hands, too, and his grip tightens a little bit. Joshua remains still. “I want to hear how you feel,” he finishes, quietly.
He meets Joshua’s eyes again, and for a moment, Joshua just stares back. Isn’t it obvious? Joshua stood there - he let Neku come to him, he let Neku kiss him, he kissed Neku back, he shared his powers and went to this outing -
“In words,” Neku clarifies, as if the confusion is obvious on Joshua’s face - but Joshua knows he’s completely impassive. “I… want to hear that you… want this.”
The idea isn’t exactly the most appealing thing Joshua has ever heard. Words are direct, they’re heard and deliberate.
But looking at Neku like this - eyes honest and open and wanting, needing something right now, that Joshua can provide - he thinks he understands something that might’ve eluded him until now. Something some nutcase said about expanding your world, your horizons, as far as they’ll go, enjoying the moment.
Joshua closes the distance between them, as Neku has done so many times before, and kisses him. The city is a little quieter around them, given the time, but when their lips join it’s almost silent, as if out of respect and awe. It’s soft, at first, but Joshua pushes into it. Neku shouldn’t have a single doubt. He deserves that - the truth. Joshua had told him no more lies, after all.
He kisses him with every fiber of his being, as the Joshua who sent him to Shinjuku to keep him safe, as Joshua his partner, as Joshua the Composer of Shibuya. He kisses Neku with everything that he is, and Neku eagerly accepts it, his lips parting and a soft sound escaping him.
Of course, it’s Neku, so he doesn’t just accept, he pushes back. He leans closer and tilts his head, tongue sliding past Joshua, and it’s so warm and close and they’re so warm and close. Joshua feels that more than anything else - the warmth of Neku’s whole being, encapsulated in everything that Neku is that’s kissing him back, right now. Neku the depressed teenager, the Composer’s proxy, that Joshua understood too well, Neku his partner who stood as his equal, and every Neku in between - now including Neku the Composer with whom he shared his powers in entirety, the city, his - their - life.
Neku eventually pulls back just a little, enough for Joshua to finally murmur against his lips. “I want you here,” he says, maybe inaudible. But Neku definitely hears, because he smiles that sunshine smile right against Joshua’s mouth as he presses their foreheads together, and Joshua helplessly goes on, “In Shibuya. With - me.”
Neku kisses him again, quick and chaste. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
Joshua squeezes Neku’s hands. Or tries to. He already was, apparently.
“Can I ask you something else?” Neku says.
“You just did.”
Neku leans back finally, though the smile on his face is still there, still so fond, so pretty and magnetic that Joshua has to truly will himself to stay in place. “I wanna get used to hearing the city more. Can… we go back to the roof of Mark City? And… do what we did the other day?”
Joshua smiles back at him. There’s a light color to Neku’s face at the suggestion, and the juxtaposition of being able to so plainly ask Joshua something like “tell me how you feel” but then be unable to ask him to go dancing can only be called cute.
But much more importantly, Joshua says, honestly, “I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing.”