Work Text:
I’ve never been super involved with anything outside of work. S has always been way more outgoing than I am. They’re the life of the afterparty and I’m tucked into the corner away from the bulk of the action. I don’t understand how we can be so alike in shape and function and be so fundamentally different. As a Z block, the S block is my mirror image, but we could not be more different. The L and J blocks aren’t this different. Their symmetry and chemistry is obvious and effortless. I envy their easy companionship. It’s hard not to feel like S and I should be as much a dynamic duo as L and J, but that’s never going to happen. S may look like an inverted version of me, but in terms of personality they have far more in common with everyone else, especially the O block, with whom they spend most of their free time.
Our differences do not affect our work. The seven of us fulfill our duties as we are commanded with practised precision. The differences between us are irrelevant as we work for the greater purpose.
We were built for this.
And this alone.
*
Usually I retreat to my quarters and rest right after work, but today I happened to make an offhand remark dismissing “becoming one” though recreational tetris earlier and because of this O pulls me aside.
“Did you really mean that?” O asks.
“Of course,” I reply. I am no stranger to the enjoyable sensations of tetriminos touching beyond the scope of our work, but the ‘becoming one’ nonsense is just a myth. “I feel no need to pursue the impossible.”
“You haven’t become one?” O asks, sounding appalled. “Ever?”
“No,” I reply. “Have you?”
“Oh Z…” O sighs. I do not like the pity in their voice. “If you ever want to change that, you should come join us sometime. You don’t know what you’re missing out on.”
*
It isn’t that I believe O exactly, but I am curious. I have been curious for a long time, and if this mythical becoming one thing is even a fraction as enjoyable as the rumours make it sound….
I summon all of my courage and go to the place O said they would be playing tonight.
*
It is easy enough to join them. I am welcomed into the game as if I am meant to be here, and from the top of the playing area I can almost pretend it is like when I am at work.
But I am not.
This is not like the work we do. No one is controlling us. The pace of our descent is not beyond our control. I alone get to choose the moment I enter the space and begin to fall. I am surprised by how emotional it makes me to have this freedom.
I look at those who have chosen to fall before me. I look over at I-block, who has chosen to remain in the hold square. I have heard they prefer to watch. It seems that is true.
O looks up at me, beckoning me to join them. I steady myself, choosing my moment in a way I never have before.
*
I leap.
And then I fall.
*
I’m halfway to them before I realize that I get to choose where I land. There are no commands to obey telling me which way to position myself and where to land. It’s all up to me.
I move back and forth across the entire width of the area and rotate 360 degrees just because I can.
I have never felt such freedom.
I have never felt such joy.
*
Beneath me S, J, and O are configured together in such a way that there is a perfect spot waiting for me, as if it was made for me. I can see it, can feel myself drawn to it not out of obligation but out of something I dare to call lust. J calls out to me, inviting me to join them, reassuring me that I am welcome among them, to become part of them. O must have told them I am new to this, how nervous I am, that I have never done this the way they all have before now. I feel like that should embarrass me, but it doesn’t. I am just grateful to know I am wanted.
S moans and J sighs with satisfaction as I slide into place. It feels good, great even, to be here tucked among them for our pleasure instead of mere productivity, but as enjoyable as it is, it’s not the rapture of becoming one that has been described to me.
Maybe I wasn’t built to experience such things.
*
As if hearing my doubts, O quietly tells me it’s time to let go. And I want to. I want to feel what everyone seems to be feeling but me.
My voice is shaking when I ask, “How?”
*
“Don’t think of yourself as a Z Tetrimino,” O says, their soothing weight against mine. “The edges of your shape do not matter when you are here. Let yourself be part of us.”
It is not such an easy thing to do. I have been Z my whole life, these four squares configured into the distinct shape is what makes me who I am. I do not know how to let go of myself, but I will try.
I try.
*
“If I’m not Z, who am I?” I ask.
“Us,” comes the reply. It is not O who replies, it is all of them. Them, together as one.
I want to be part of them.
More than anything, I want to be part of them.
So I let go.
*
“Oh!” I exclaim the moment I feel myself become them, as we, all of us, tremble in a shared jolt of pleasure greater than I have ever known. It’s as if my consciousness has melted into theirs. We’ve become one. It’s strange how a term that never made sense before now holds profound meaning, but there is no other way to describe what is happening to us. We are one and together we can feel the sensation of every seam of us touching as if it were mine. We can feel the friction between each block as acutely as the S block writhing against the Z-block I used to be.
We are one and our combined pleasure is many times greater for it.
*
After we have become one, additional tetriminos join us from above.
The L block that lays themself on top of us, the O block that lands on the far side of us, the J block that slots into place with a rush of belonging, each of them becoming part of us with far more ease than I did. Every new block fits into us as if they were made for me alone, here to bring me exactly what I need, but of course, there is no me, not here, not now.
We are here for each other, we are part of each other, and our desires and delight is shared.
Together, we can feel everything.
*
Each new block locks into us and we become one. Our minds, our bodies, every perfect line and 90 degree angle finds its place, as I have found mine.
We are one.
*
I’d heard of the T spin, of course, but experiencing that instant shift from close to perfect fit as T rotates against us, through us, to lock into a gap we thought was unreachable, so that suddenly we are filled and complete in a way we weren’t before has us keening with exquisite rush of it.
Then T melds into us completely, becoming one, (how did I ever live without becoming one before?) and then a line clears beneath my former dimensions and the pleasure ripples upwards through us in a wave as together we drop to fill the now empty space.
*
There can’t be more than this. This is the height of pleasure. It must be. My former boundaries have been blown to pieces, and a whole new world is open to me. There can’t be more than this.
But there is.
Because then we are looking up, all of us trembling with the aftershocks of what we’ve just experienced, as the I-block removes themself from the hold square and slowly begins to fall.
*
I knew the I block liked to watch, but I didn’t know how much I would enjoy watching the I block in return. There is no doubt as to where they are headed. There is a gap in us, a perfect column four squares deep that we made with them in mind. The suspense is not where they will land, it is when, and we are beside ourselves, the mass of us enraptured by the sight of the I-block making us wait as they inch towards us.
Slowly.
Perfectly, beautifully, agonizingly.
Slowly.
The anticipation builds as the I block approaches and we long for what we know is coming. “Fill us, become us, complete us,” we cry. “Hurry, faster, faster, please.”
But the I block makes us wait.
There will be no hard drops tonight.
*
It is pure bliss when the I block makes contact with our entrance and then begins to fill us up with the same measured slowness that defined their approach. Still, the I-block makes us wait, drawing it out until we are past the point of endurance before they sink all the way into us and become one.
When we are complete it is rapture beyond anything I have known, beyond anything I could imagine.
We were made for this, all of us.
This.
*
What used to be the S block is incoherent beside what used to be me, moaning and babbling their enjoyment like a perfect broken thing. It takes me a moment to realize that I am too. We all are.
We are overcome.
I have never been part of such a chorus.
Perhaps I still am not. Here there is only we, after all.
It is my last thought before we disappear into perfect oblivion together.