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It was Friday night. And instead of doing the responsible thing and hitting the books for a few hours for his upcoming test, Zenitsu was hitting the clubs. The blond stood in front of his bathroom mirror as he adjusted his black and white button up shirt uselessly, a grimace painted on his features. He let out a frustrated sigh since he knew he was going to get rejected either way. Girls usually snickered at his loud hair, with delicate hands and meticulously painted nails covering their obnoxious giggles, which was moot since he could still hear everything. When he does manage to get a girl to talk to him, they mostly stick around long enough for him to buy them a few rounds before they walk away with an air of disgust and say that they weren’t interested.
He doesn’t know why he even bothers with trying to look presentable. It really was no use since he never grabbed anybody’s attention…well positive attention that is.
Although…that one night he and Tanjiro-, his face turned beet red at the memory.
————-
It was probably one of the worst experiences in Zenitsu’s pitiful (and nonexistent) love life. Looking back, maybe he had a little too much to drink in order to build up the courage to talk to a beautiful girl. However, said girl with long and silky hair ridiculed him in front of all her friends, declaring that he was ugly and creepy. She then proceeded to point out all his glaringly obvious flaws (he’s too tall, has weird hair, very thick eyebrows, and a bit of an overbite, and the list kept going). In all honesty he was seconds from breaking down and crying until his best friend jumped in with righteous anger. His normally serene features were drawn tight to a frightening scowl, the multicolor lights within the club casting an ominous glow to his dark red eyes. Fists balled up to his sides with veins running up all the way to his forearms to convey how hard he was clenching them. The girls who usually tripped over their feet at the sight of Tanjiro were now huddled together in fear as his lip curled upward in fury, exposing incisors and pink gums. It was at that moment that Zenitsu realized he was totally fucked.
He really couldn’t pick a worst time to fall in love with his best friend of ten years.
“Don’t talk about him like that. You would be so lucky to have Zenitsu!” He snarled. Then without warning he turned on his heels and grabbed Zenitsu’s hand to quickly lead him away from the area. The blond stared dazedly at Tanjiro’s broad shoulders, his mind buzzing and heartbeat accelerating at the feel of his calloused hand enveloping his smaller one. He didn’t even see when they passed their friend group who stared at them in questioning, and when a blast of cool air hit his face, it only worsened his drunk and hazy mind. He couldn’t stop looking at Tanjiro. It barley registered the redhead’s grip on his hand tightened before he turned to face Zenitsu, eyes burning with protectiveness and something he couldn’t really decipher. The loud music was making it difficult to pick up on Tanjirou’s heartbeat.
“I don’t know why you look for these type of girls. You don’t deserve to be the treated that way. Not by them, not by Kaigaku-,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “or anyone.” Tanjiro reached out for his unoccupied hand and cupped them together without once breaking contact. Zenitsu felt his face heat up and tried (and failed) not to choke on his spit.
“T-Tanj-,”
“You have me! Why can’t you see that? You don’t have to wander off by yourself in clubs or parties.” The redhead huffed, cheeks puffed up cutely (in Zenitsu’s very humble opinion thank you very much). His words made Zenitsu’s heart rate skyrocket, and while he knew better than to interpret his words beyond friendship, Zenitsu let the warm feeling envelope his being and leaned in minutely toward his best friend.
“Y-yeah. I know you’ll always be there for me. Thanks for sticking up for me tonight.” The blond expected his trademark smile or even a hug, what Zenitsu didn’t expect was Tanjiro’s eyes to dip half mast, gaze placed firmly on his slightly parted lips.
“Of course,” he whispered, head gravitating closer toward Zenitsu, who wasn’t fairing much better. It was like a magnet was bringing them closer involuntarily. Zenitsu shivered at the feeling of Tanjiro’s small puffs of breath caressing his sensitive lips as he hovered for a couple of seconds as if testing that Zenitsu would move away (Like hell he would!) before crashing into him aggressively. The blond went cross eyed before closing his lips and returning the gesture with fervor. Tanjiro placed one hand behind his head, and the other slid roughly to his hips. Zenitsu gasped out a small moan when he felt the large hand give a tight squeeze, and moved his own hands to cover the expanse of the redhead’s back. If he wasn’t dizzy before, the feeling of Tanjiro’s slick tongue meeting his was almost enough to send him into a coma due to lack of oxygen to his brain from forgetting how to breath. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, molding their lips to one another and releasing stifled groans, but eventually Tanjiro reluctantly pulled away briefly to try and form a coherent sentence.
“I-,” Tanjiro breathed out between kisses, “should-,” another long filthy kiss, “probably take-,” he bit Zenitsu’s bottom lip this time, “us home.” Zenitsu whined when Tanjiro kept his distance after finishing what he had to say, but his eyes conveyed a different message altogether. The blond, wanting to keep feeling the warmth, lurched forward, only to be stopped by two hands firmly on his hips.
“Please,” Tanjiro whispered, “go home with me.” Zenitsu nodded his head numbly, feeling his face heat up at the bright smile the other man sent his way. Tanjiro tugged his hand as he maneuvered him through the parking lot toward his old minivan. Zenitsu wasn’t sure if Tanjiro would even go through with his promise since the blond didn’t even get a chance to buckle himself in before the younger of two pounced on him, lips pressed firmly on Zenitsu’s neck.
“Ah, Tanjiro.” Zenitsu moaned when he gave a particularly long suckle near his ear. In return said man bit down on the flesh gently, causing the blond beneath him to buck his hips against Tanjiro’s thigh.
“F-fuck Zen,” Tanjiro cursed, causing Zenitsu to shiver at his guttural groan and filthy mouth.
“I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he grunted as he captured the blond’s lips in another bruising kiss. Zenitsu merely whimpered, mind hazy with lust. The redhead popped open a few of Zenitsu’s buttons of his shirt to gain better access to his neck, where he trailed down wet kisses until reaching his nipple. The blond ran a hand over Tanjiro’s messy hair, tangling his fingers tightly in anticipation. Tanjiro nosed his pink nipple for a bit before enclosing his hot mouth around it, tongue swirling before sucking obscenely.
“A-Ah! Shit!” Zenitsu whined, a long keening noise that would have been embarrassing if he wasn’t enjoying every second of pleasure that Tanjiro was delivering. With every ounce of his willpower, Tanjiro pulled back to sit on Zenitsu’s legs while panting harshly.
“How about we go to your place instead? It’s closer.” He propositioned, hands were now obediently on his own thighs, clenched tightly to prevent himself from reaching out again. Zenitsu pouted, feeling the cold air on his body now that Tanjiro wasn’t on top of him to keep him warm. His nipples pebbled, which only caused for Tanjiro’s pupils to dilate at the sight beneath him. He was about to reply with something snarky for all the teasing, but stopped himself when he fully looked at the redhead above him. His usually angelic best friend looked downright sinful with his sheen lips glittering from saliva, flushed cheeks and eyes nearly black from how blown wide his pupils were. Despite this, Zenitsu could hear the nervousness and sincerity in his heart. It caused his own heart to pick up in pace.
“Please take care of me, Tanjiro.” He whispered timidly. He heard the redhead’s breath hitch before he gulped visibly and nodded.
“I promise to always take care of you!” He shouted, face flushed as he scrambled to his seat to buckle his seat belt. The car made a horrible cranking noise, and for a painful second Zenitsu thought that it wasn’t going to start and that he’d have to rub one out shamefully in the back of Tanjiro’s van. Even Tanjiro paled slightly at the ominous sound.
“Come on. Not now.” The redhead muttered angrily, as he turned the keys while pushing the gas pedal. Miraculously, the car ignited and a victorious smirk crossed Tanjiro’s features, a rare sight to behold.
“Hold on Zen, we’ll be there in a bit. You don’t have to worry anymore, I never break my promises.”
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Zenitsu flushed just thinking of all of the things Tanjiro did to him that night. He acted like a man that was lost in the desert and Zenitsu was the first drink he had in days. He was insatiable, but at the same time gentle and loving. Honestly, Zenitsu hates him for giving him the best fuck of his life, essentially ruining him for anyone else, and then ghosting him.
When Zenitsu woke up, despite having a killer headache, he remembered everything. His heart plummeted when he realized that Tanjiro was gone. Coupled with the fact that he didn’t leave a note or try to contact him after two weeks was enough for him to get the message that he thought it was mistake, even if Zenitsu thought it was the best night of his life. It was clear that their friendship was ruined because that’s just what Zenitsu is best at, ruining people’s lives.
‘You’re a fucking eyesore. If only you didn’t exist, the Old Man would still be alive.’ A vicious voice reminded him, that sounded suspiciously like his older brother. Zenitsu wiped away at the moisture that rapidly accumulated around his eyes and shook his head. Maybe within a month Tanjiro would forgive him, and they could put it behind them and pretend that night never happened. His heart squeezed at the thought. Even if that night meant everything to him, he’s willing to lock it up inside if it meant that Tanjiro would talk to him again.
His depressing thoughts were cut off when he heard the shrill cry of his cell phone a few feet behind him on his nightstand. He’s hopeful that it’s a certain redhead calling, but is disappointed when he reads the large text displaying “Dumb Boar” in white blocky letters. He answers reluctantly, wondering if maybe he should invite him downtown. At least he won’t be alone, and he can trust Inosuke to bail him out if he’s in trouble. However, all that is tossed out the window when the man on the other screams instead of greeting him properly like a normal human being. Zenitsu winces visibly as he pulls the phone away from his ear almost instantly.
“MONITSU!! WHAT TIME ARE YOU GOING TO GONPACHIRO’S?!” Zenitsu wants to scream at him back to stop being so loud and to be considerate of his sensitive hearing, but the words die in his throat once he processed Inosuke’s question.
“W-what do you mean?” He asked, heart breaking a little more, fully knowing that Tanjiro excluded him from whatever get together they had going on.
“Don’t be an idiot, Chinitsu! It’s Kabao’s birthday party today.” Zenitsu bit his lip harshly and tried to keep his tears at bay.
“I…didn’t know.” He answered sincerely, his voice breaking at the end. As if by some miracle, Inosuke was quiet on the other end. The silence stretched aside from Zenitsu’s occasional sniffles.
“You should come.” Inosuke says, voice oddly serous. Zenitsu wishes more than anything that he could, but he’s been in more than enough situations to know when he isn’t wanted. It isn’t anything new, but this particular moment is far more painful than the rest.
“Ah, d-don’t worry about it. I already had plans anyway-,”
“Zenitsu-,” and the fact that Inosuke actually said his name right was blaring sign that he wasn’t messing around, but Zenitsu can be just as stubborn.
“Tell everyone hi for me and Kanao a happy birthday. I’ll talk to you later!” He rushed out, hanging up before Inosuke can get another word in. He switched his phone to silent and pocketed it in his slacks. He didn’t even bother to fix his appearance as he marched toward his living room to grab his keys and headed out of his apartment, loudly slamming the door behind him.
———————————-
He was drunk out of his mind, but no matter how many shots he forced himself to take, Tanjiro’s image haunted him. He tried dancing with a couple of girls, but later gave up when his brain kept comparing them to the redhead. They were too short, their eyes were the wrong shade, their hair was wrong texture. Before he knew it, he opened his messaging app and scanned for a specific name. He scrolled passed his missed calls and seventy four (seventy four?!) text messages from Inosuke and Nezuko. Once he found Tanjiro’s name he smashed his thumb over it and composed his message angrily.
He seethed, anger bubbling up inside of him. Who the fuck does Tanjiro think he is?! Promising to always take care of him and then drop him like he was some piece of trash?
‘You’re scum! Nobody can stand you. You’re so pathetic.’ His lips trembled at the scathing words. Tanjiro would always rebuke Kaigaku’s comments by, saying that he was wrong, and then proceed to compliment Zenitsu for an hour long which would leave him in a blubbering mess. But now…maybe Tanjiro finally realized how worthless he really was. It didn’t change the fact that Zenitsu was irrevocably in love with him, and hates that he no longer holds a place in Tanjiro’s life. That Tanjiro destroyed his by cutting him out completely. He squints at the message and presses send.
Me: I hope you know how much I hate you now.
Because he can’t go back living the way he used to without Tanjiro. It was lonely then, and it’s terribly lonely now, and he can’t forgive him for it. He clicks off his phone and reaches in his pocket to throw some bills on the table. The bartender eyes him wearily.
“Hey Bud, are you sure you can make it home alright?”
‘Please go home with me.’
Zenitsu feels like vomiting.
“I can take care of myself.” He responds, unconvincingly.
——————————-
Tanjiro’s eyes are glassy and unmoving as he stares at the single sentence that shattered his heart into a million pieces. It was his worst nightmare, he didn’t want to accept that he ruined their friendship, but the small text was blaring evidence that he did just that. After that wonderful and beautiful night, Tanjiro woke up sick to his stomach. With a fearful realization that he had taken advantage of Zenitsu. The redhead was buzzed at best, with only a couple of drinks, unlike Zenitsu who was clearly inebriated. Unable to control his jealousy and longing for his best friend, he took advantage of his state of being and slept with him. He glanced at the sleeping blond, who adorably had a bit of drool seeping onto the pillow below him, and recoiled in disgust. Disgust with himself for the act that he had committed the night prior. His eyes begun to sting from the incoming tears, but held them back in order for him to sneak out of the room quietly. He gathered his clothes swiftly and dressed himself without looking back as he left the apartment.
He couldn’t face him then and he couldn’t face him now. Shame filled his being. Tanjiro’s bottled emotions finally hit their limit and tears cascaded down his face relentlessly, it would rival one of Zenitsu’s infamous crying fits. Ugly sobs along with hiccups escaped his lips, and at one point he let out a loud scream that he muffled within his pillow. He doesn’t blame Zenitsu one bit. After all, he hates himself too.
——————————
He wakes up two hours later after crying himself to sleep. His eyes can barley stay open as he makes a grab for his cell phone that won’t seem to stop ringing. He’s about to silence it when he sees Nezuko’s name flash on the screen. Worry claws at his gut since she’s never called him this late before. He answers immediately and his heart stops at her tear filled words.
“Come to the Narita hospital, Zenitsu was in an accident!”
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He arrives within twenty minutes. He looks like a complete mess with his hair disarray, wrinkled pajamas and eyes swollen from crying. The whole drive he prayed to whatever God to please allow Zenitsu to make it, he even prayed to his deceased father to watch over him. He spots Nezuko, Inosuke, Murata, Aoi, and Kanao in the corner of the waiting room. Inosuke is fighting with a nurse to let him through while the others try to calm him down.
“What happened?” Tanjiro rasped, voice sore from all the yelling and crying in the last few hours. Nezuko runs over to hug him, which he returns wholeheartedly. He buries his head in her hair and once again begins to cry. The others try to give him a little privacy, as Nezuko pats his back comfortingly when he gives out a particular loud wail.
“He got hit by a car while he was crossing the street. Zenitsu was…drunk and probably wasn’t looking where he was going.” Tanjiro’s inhaled deeply and pulled back, his eyes scanning Nezuko’s pink ones desperately.
“Is he okay? What did the doctor say?” She eyed him sadly, and Tanjiro’s lips quivered.
“He’s in surgery right now. Critical condition. He sustained a lot of injuries. They…they said that there’s a fifty fifty chance that he’ll make it.” Tanjiro’s eyes shuttered.
“Oh, Zenitsu-!” He cried out, his hand shooting out to cover his mouth from his sobbing.
‘I hope you know how much I hate you now.’
Those were his last words to Tanjiro, and now there may never be a chance to reconcile with Zenitsu. He’s going to die hating him. The thought had him bawling, and it alarmed his friends because they have never seen him this distraught. Nezuko had only seen him like this one other time when their father passed away.
His other friends came over and they enveloped each other in a hug.
“Don’t lose hope Tanjiro, Zenitsu will pull through.” Murata said, hoping his words will help ease a bit of the pain.
“That’s right! He’s my minion so he’s strong!” Tanjiro let out a warbled laugh at Inosuke’s comment.
“Y-yeah, you guys are right. Thank you.” But Tanjiro couldn’t help but think that this was all his fault. If he hadn’t pushed himself onto Zenitsu and shattered their friendship, they would have all been celebrating Kanao’s birthday party together.
‘Zenitsu, I hope you know how much I hate myself too.’
———————————-
Tanjiro was relieved to hear that Zenitsu made it out of surgery and was passed critical condition. Now it was only a matter of time until he woke up. He stayed by his bedside whenever visiting hours were open. With the others occasionally stopping by to drop off flowers or sweets for when he wakes up. After a week, Tanjiro was getting increasingly worried. If he didn’t wake up soon, the doctor said that it’s a very slim chance of him waking up at all. Tanjiro’s calloused hands held the blond’s softer hands, caressing the knuckles gently with his thumb.
“Zen, please wake up.” He begged, once again feeling the telltale signs of tears building up behind his eyes. He briefly wondered if this is how Zenitsu feels all the time.
“I’m so sorry about that night. I never meant to hurt you.” The silence of the usually boisterous man in front of him is unnerving, only the background beeping of the heart monitor being the reminder that he was still alive.
“I love you Zen,” he confessed in a hushed whisper. “I love you so much and I’m sorry that I didn’t keep my promise and I hurt you in the most vile way.” He buried his head into the mattress, the smell of disinfectant and stale bedsheets infiltrating his nostrils as tears stained the white sheets.
“I took advantage of you while you were drunk. I- I should have stopped myself but I couldn’t. God, I’m so disgusting aren’t I?!” He said, not expecting but knowing the answer. He was too caught up in his own head to notice the slight twitch of the hand he was holding.
“Shut up you talking forehead.” A raspy but sweet voice said, and in an instant his head shot up to stare wide eyed at honey brown orbs.
“Z-Zenitsu! You’re awake!” He exclaimed, tears of now joy overflowing. Zenitsu hummed in confirmation, a small gentle smile aimed at the shocked redhead. He gave Tanjiro’s hand a small squeeze.
“I love you too.” He declared, tears now forming in his eyes. How could they not? The boy he thought was repulsed by him was actually in love with him this whole time as well. Tanjiro froze, his mouth gaping for a few seconds and cheeks flushing before shaking out of his stupor.
“But what about me taking advantage of you?” Zenitsu snorted and Tanjiro frowned at his reaction.
“Tanjiro please, you didn’t take advantage. Trust me when I say that I really wanted it and that you definitely took care of me that night. Like, hell, I couldn’t sit down the next day!” Tanjiro flushed at his statement and stared down at his shoes as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. Zenitsu chuckled lightly, it’s cute how Tanjiro can be a beast in bed but then gets shy talking about it. His laughing was cut short when he winced at the pain on his left side. Tanjiro looked up in worry.
“Be careful! You have stitches in that side so don’t move around too much or they may reopen.” He fussed, moving over behind Zenitsu and fluffing his pillows some more.
“I thought that you wanted nothing to do with me after that night because you thought it was a mistake. And the that thing with Kanao…” Tanjiro stiffened before completely going ramrod straight.
“I’m sorry!” He shouted with cheeks puffed up, a habit that he has when he is particularly upset.
“I should have just talked to you but I was so scared. I was scared that I had hurt you and I couldn’t face you. I couldn’t stand the idea of you hating me.” Zenitsu winced when he remembered the drunken text he sent to Tanjiro before the accident.
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have texted you that. I never hated you. I just felt so alone and heartbroken.” Tanjiro grabbed his face tenderly to wipe away the tears that he didn’t know were streaming down his face.
“Then we’re good then right? Because I really want to kiss my boyfriend right now.” Zenitsu let out a wheeze.
“B-b-boyfriend?!” Tanjiro tilted his head cutely, a small frown adorning his features.
“Ah well, we can go slow if you want. Be friends and then something more in the future?” Zenitsu shook his head and placed his hand over Tanjiro’s.
“Boyfriends sounds great.” He remarked shyly, in which Tanjiro takes as permission to lean in and capture his lips lightly with his own. Zenitsu hums happily.
They break apart from their chaste kiss, cheeks rosy and foreheads still touching as comfortable silence fills the room.
“I promise to always take care of you.” Tanjiro whispers tenderly, hands still clasped tightly together.
“It sounds like you’re proposing to me.” Zenitsu quips, but all he gets in return is a secretive smile. It would have been a sweet moment, until Zenitsu ruins it like he always does.
“Wow, this would be a funny engagement story. To think I almost had to die to get you to confess to me.” Tanjiro gave him a withering look.
“Zen.”