Work Text:
Luc had been in Snezhnaya for all of three minutes before he realizes he’s being tailed by at least four of the eleven Fatui Harbingers.
He had expected as much, of course. It had been years since he’d left home to kill Fatui for a reason he no longer remembered, so it was no surprise that they had long since caught wind of him.
Every single day, he faced one of them. Every single day, he lost blood and his body ached and burned. Every day, he barely managed to escape the fight with his life—running like a coward until he felt like he was going to collapse.
Five of them wanted him dead, four of them wanted to bring him in alive, Il Dottore…Luc tried not to think about Il Dottore—and the eleventh?
He was…something else. And also currently the one Luc was up against.
This one was the youngest yet, in Luc’s personal opinion, the most dangerous. He was bloodthirsty and ruthless, sure, but that wasn’t what made him such a threat. No, it was his hydro Vision. Snezhnaya’s cold was already a threat but when you’re wet?
Their fights weren’t real fights. They were Luc fighting to avoid getting even a single drop of water on him while the Harbinger just laughed.
And this Harbinger moved quickly , making it all the more impossible for Luc to get away from him when he felt like his body was about to give out and give up.
Tonight though, he didn’t get away. Tonight he lay helpless and freezing in the snow as the eleventh Harbinger towered over him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and hauling him up.
“You sure are lucky that I was the one that found you,” he said, as darkness descended over Luc.
………………………
Diluc sat up with a gasp, sweat rolling down his back in a way that made him shiver. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, glancing towards the window to try and determine the time.
Too early to be awake, considering how late he had gotten into bed. But he also knew there was little chance he’d sleep again, already aware of what frozen memories would be waiting for him.
He always had nightmares, after being triggered or having panic attacks and he doubted his upcoming conversation with Kaeya would do anything more than make them worse.
He was already regretting agreeing to tell Kaeya anything at all but it’s too late to take it back now and even if he does, he knows Kaeya will never let it go.
Diluc has never been more thankful for the fact that he remembers next to nothing about the end of his time in Snezhnaya than he is now.
He really doesn't want to get up yet—he’s barely slept and his body hurts—but he knows there’s little chance he’ll fall asleep again, let alone get any rest, so he hauls himself from bed and begins dressing for the day.
Heading downstairs, he’s only slightly surprised to find Adelinde and Elzer awake, though that’s more because he doesn’t even know what time it is, than because he thinks they’re up late.
They looked up when he came down the stairs. “Good morning, Master Diluc,” Adelinde greeted.
“Good morning,” Diluc returned. “What time is it?”
“Earlier than you typically rise, when getting in as late as you did,” Elzer replied. “I believe it’s around five.”
Five. Diluc resisted the urge to sigh and rub his temples. What time had he gotten back to the winery, four? And he’d laid in bed, awake, for somewhere near thirty minutes before falling asleep, hadn’t he?
Fantastic.
Elzer must have picked up on his irritation or exhaustion, because he gently offered,
“If you’d like, sir, I can cancel your appointments for the day or take over them myself.”
Right. Diluc had almost forgotten he had a meeting with a businessman from Liyue by the name of Tartaglia.
Instinct had him wanting to say no; that he was fine and could handle a few meetings. But he was exhausted and doubted his discussion with Kaeya was going to go well and knew he wasn’t going to be up to meeting dealing with business afterwards.
“Thank you, Elzer,” he finally said, even though it was incredibly difficult to allow others to help him—especially Elzer and Adelinde who had kept everything running all on their own for four years while he did little more than get his ass kicked by Fatui Harbingers.
“Of course, sir. It’s no problem.”
Clearing his throat, Diluc moved to sit at the table as he told Adelinde, “I believe…Kaeya will be stopping by later. We have…something to discuss.”
“Of course, sir.” She nodded. “Do you happen to know what time?”
“We never discussed it,” Diluc replied. “Though he’ll likely arrive as soon as reasonably possible.”
“I’ll have breakfast ready for him then,” Adelinde said sweetly. “Would you like something yourself now?”
“I don’t feel particularly hungry at the moment, thank you,” Diluc replied. “I think I’ll attempt to get some work done in my study, until Kaeya arrives.”
“Of course. I’ll fetch you when he comes.”
“Thank you, Adelinde.”
Nodding to the two of them, Diluc headed back upstairs to try and struggle through some work in order to put off thinking about everything he was going to have to talk to Kaeya about later.
………………
Kaeya arrives at eight o’clock on the dot, just as predicted and he’s already enjoying the meal prepared by Adelinde as Diluc and Elzer come down the stairs.
“Ah, good morning, Master Diluc,” Kaeya drawled as Diluc took a seat at his own usual chair at the table.
“Good morning, Sir Kaeya,” Diluc returned, hoping that Kaeya couldn’t sense any nerves from him as he prepared his own plate for breakfast.
“I presume you’re not in the mood to start immediately?”
“I’d much prefer to enjoy my meal in peace, thank you.”
Kaeya shrugged. “Sure.”
They ate in silence then, Diluc too nervous to prompt conversation and Kaeya…
Who knew why he did anything at all. When they finished eating, they stood and Kaeya headed towards the stairs though Diluc cleared his throat and stopped him.
“I was actually thinking this should be a conversation we have outside.”
“Oh? Why?” Kaeya grinned. “Afraid we’re going to get into a fight?”
“I’d just much prefer it done outside, then in my office where father’s things are at risk.”
“So you do think we’ll get into a fight,” Kaeya said as he followed Diluc out.
“If we get into a fight, Sir Kaeya, after I reveal something I would much rather not talk about, then you are a worse man than I thought.”
Kaeya stayed silent then for the rest of the walk across Dawn Winery’s properties until they finally came to a more open field, a few slime milling about but otherwise, no one around who could potentially be endangered.
“I…” Kaeya cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have joked about this. I guess I was trying to make it easier.”
“Had it been a different topic, perhaps I would have been amused.” Diluc finally turned to face him.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Diluc hummed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Before I begin, I will say that though I won’t ask you to remove your Vision or return it to the Winery for this discussion, I suppose I will be… bold enough to tell you that cold and ice are some of my triggers, so if you could kindly refrain from using your Vision for the duration of this conversation, I would appreciate it.”
Diluc was rarely this honest about his vulnerabilities with himself , let alone anyone else. Admitting to it made him feel sick and weak. Yet he had to admit that the horrified look growing on Kaeya’s face was, perhaps, worth it in the end.
“I uh…” Kaeya cleared his throat. “I’m not sure why I’m surprised, honestly. “I…I think I already knew that.”
“Yes, well, I felt it needed repeating.”
Kaeya just nodded numbly. “Right,” he mumbled. Clearing his throat, he said, “you don’t have to tell me everything, if you don’t want to.”
Diluc took a deep breath. “I don’t,” he agreed. “But I think it’s time I told someone .”
“Okay.” Kaeya nodded. “You can stop whenever you want. You don’t have to tell me everything today.”
Diluc nodded but said nothing. Silence fell between the pair of them for a long time until the pyro user took a deep breath and said,
“I met all eleven Fatui Harbingers in the span of…two days, I think.”
…………..
“From the very second I arrived in Snezhnaya, they were after me.”
Snezhnaya is cold. Far colder than Luc had been expecting and he shivers in the hull of the cargo ship he’s slipped on. He figured it would be the easiest way to get into the nation unnoticed but his problem now comes in figuring out how to get out of the ship unnoticed.
He has at least forty-five minutes before the crew finishes unloading the ship and leaves, but that doesn’t make him any more eager to sit there and take time to think of a plan. For the moment though, he curls in on himself and breathes, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the ache of longing in his chest.
His memories have been…fading. To the point that he can’t be sure where he came from or who he really is. All he knows is that his father is dead and it’s the Fatui’s fault.
Not much longer now. He thought as he opened his eyes and began making a plan to get off the ship unseen. Snezhnaya is the last stop.
It takes him a good fifteen minutes to get off the ship unnoticed and he lets out a shuddering breath as he vanishes through the crowd at the port. But only a few steps and he realizes, very quickly, that he’s being followed.
They know I’m here.
He tried to keep his heart from racing, lest they hear it and use it to find him faster. Then again, a glance over his shoulder shows four well covered figures coming towards him at an even pace.
Never mind. They know exactly where I am.
Logic should have made him stay with the crowd. The Fatui won’t risk harm to their own people just to take him down. But fear blinds him to logic and he foolishly, stupidly, left the crowd and fled into the forests. The moment they were out of sight of the crowd, the fight began.
Water washed over him and Luc grit his teeth, gasping for air as his entire body was drenched.
Not good! He thought frantically as he ran, the Harbingers giving chase as well. Not good, not good, not good.
Forget about dying from the Harbingers, he was more likely to freeze to death than anything else. He glanced down at the Delusion on his wrist, took one long moment to think and debate before forcing a deep breath through chattering teeth and throwing his hand behind him, summoning the chains.
He heard shouts and knew he’d caught the Harbingers and sent them to the ground. He didn’t bother turning and engaging them, just kept running.
There were a total of eleven Harbingers. Diluc met six more throughout the day and the others the following day.
They never stopped hunting him. His entire time in Snezhnaya, there was always one after him.
He never learned their names, none of them bothered to tell him. Not even the cocky one who happily let Luc run from their encounter after being defeated. Who was more than willing to let the ‘Delusion Thief’ slip through his fingers after Luc kicked him so hard between the legs he threw up.
At least the first time. The second time Luc did that, he wasn’t so inclined to let him go without the two of them scrapping in the snow like children having a fist-fight on the playground.
Luc’s head grows hazy, the longe he’s there. He doesn’t know where he is or even who he is, although he thinks that was information he forgot somewhere around Inazuma.
The fight with Dottore leaves him almost dead until someone saves him, takes him home, brings him back from the brink of death for reasons Luc will never know. The agony as Dottore slammed his hand into Luc’s stomach is his last clear memory. After that, it’s just snippets of flashes of images of events.
He remembers a family. A Harbinger’s family, he thinks. He remembers facing the others, chains around his wrists, the Delusion taken from him—or maybe that’s just an assumption and not a true memory.
He thinks he might have faced the cryo archon; he certainly remembers a cold like he’d never experienced before. That memory is blinded, like whatever he saw was something he was not meant to behold.
He remembers someone—a Harbinger—walking him to the harbor where he boards a ship, thinks he remembers them saying something about a rematch. And then he’s warm and blinkign as he steps onto Liyue Harbor and his vision swims again and he finds himself embraced by Adelinde on the steps of Dawn Winery.
His memory settles after that, but those events between the fight with Dottore and embracing Adelinde against will remain hazy. He wishes everything else would remain hazy too.
…………….
“That’s…” Kaeya is lost for words. “Horrific.”
Diluc just hummed. “Regardless,” he remarked. “There is your answer.”
“When you said every day was a fight, I thought–”
“That I was exaggerating?”
Kaeya grimaces. “I don’t know why I thought you of all people would make that up.” He shifted. “Who’s Dottore?”
“One of the Harbingers,” Diluc replied. “One of the more…experimentally inclined ones. I…would prefer not to talk about the things he did.”
“Did he do anything to you?”
“Not that I recall,” Diluc replied.
“But a lot of your memory is hazy.”
“Yes.”
Kaeya swallowed. “I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. I’d be rather concerned if you did .”
“Why didn’t they kill you?” Kaeya grimaced. “Not that I wanted them to, but–”
“But why merley banish me when I slaughtered a good portion of their military force?” Diluc guessed. “I don’t know. Perhaps they felt as though I was more useful alive.”
“Useful?” Kaeya repeated, a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t know , Kaeya, it’s a guess ,” Diluc snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yes, of course.” Kaeya cleared his throat. “Sorry.” After a beat of silence, he remarked, “Was there anything you remember?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you said you forgot your name and where you came from, all because you left your Vision,” Kaeya explained. “Was there anything…I mean was there anything you remembered?”
Diluc hesitated. “Yes,” he finally admitted.
“Was it father?”
Diluc shook his head. “No,” he replied quietly. “It…it wasn’t father.”
“Then what–”
“You.”
Kaeya snapped his mouth shut. “Oh,” he finally managed. “I–I see.”
“I didn’t remember whart you told me, about…you,” Diluc went on in a rare moment of honest vulnerability. “I just…I remembered your name. That you were my brother.” He took a deep breath. “That I hurt you and the only reason I didn’t kill you was becuase you got a cryo Vision.” He took a deep breath. “Every time I was freezing, I knew I deserved it. I felt like…I felt like it was your Vision coming back to punish me for everything I did to you.”
“Oh Archons , Diluc.”
“When I was…well, when I was dying after Dottore’s attack and before the other Harbinger saved me, I thought…I thought it was a fitting death; to freeze to death for trying to burn you alive.”
Kaeya hears a wounded sound and it takes him a moment to realize oh, that came from him.
“Which Harbinger saved you?” He finally asked. “I’d really like to thank them.”
Diluc chuckled. “I don’t remember,” he replied. “And truthfully, I’d much rather not know. I don’t want anything to do with the Harbingers ever again.”
“I noticed you didn’t say Fatui.”
“A bit difficult to avoid them, when they’re currently placed in Mondstadt and some of my worst customers, most nights.”
“Ah, a pity.” Kaeya shook his head. “Do you think they’d still drink at Angel’s Share if they knew what you’ve done?”
“I don’t particularly care.”
Kaeya nodded. “Can I…ask one question?”
“I think I already know what it is.”
“Why didn’t the Delusion backfire on you, like–”
“Like father?” Diluc shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wished it did. Some days when I was cold and tired and just… done , I wished it would backfire and kill me becuase I felt like that was a better death than at the hands of a Harbinger or the cold or on Dottore’s table.”
They both paused when he said that. “On Dottore’s table?” Kaeya repeated. “Do you…know what it’s like to be on Dottore’s table?”
Diluc pressed his lips together. “Of course not,” he replied, though they both heard the unsurety in the words. “I’m certain I would remember being under his knife and seeing my organs outside my body, in his hand.”
Silence again as they both noticed the far too descriptive statement, as though being drawn from memory rather than made up on the spot. Clearing his throat, Diluc shifted and straightened up.
“It seems it’s nearing noon,” he remarked, shielding his eyes as he glanced up towards the sun.
“Yes,” Kaeya replied mechanically, though all he could picture was his brother bound and tortured under the blade of a madman with a smile on his face and Ragnvindr blood on the clothes.
“Would you…” Diluc cleared his throat. “I’m sure Adelinde has already made enough lunch for the two of us, if you’d like to…stay?”
“Sure.” The problem was going to be getting Kaeya to leave . Archons, did Diluc sleep at all at night with these thoughts because Kaeya was certain he wasn’t going to get much sleep as his mind ran circles, imagining the horrors that could have happpened to his brother that the winery heir no longer remembered.
Diluc hesitated a moment before nodding and heading back to the winery. After a very brief hesitation, Kaeya followed after.