Chapter Text
"Again?" Sky's incredulous voice was accompanied by a scrutinizing stare. It made Rain want to shrink in on himself.
"It's nothing. There was this cyclist who came out of nowhere, what was I supposed to do?" He tried to defend himself but Sky still didn't seem happy with his answer.
"And the black eye?"
"I fell really stupidly and landed face first on my bag... There was something hard, probably my water bottle?"
Sky squinted his eyes at his best friend who gave him an embarrassed smile.
"Rain..."
"Hm?"
"You'd tell me if you were in trouble, right?" Sky was serious now and Rain had to use all his strength not to avert his eyes. For a brief moment he chewed on the inside of his cheek but then he gave Sky a smile and nodded.
"Of course. Why are you so serious? I've always been clumsy!"
"Mh I know. It's just..." He looked at Rain for a moment but then he shook his head and smiled, "never mind. Just be more careful will you? I have better things to do than to worry about you, what with midterms coming soon."
"Khraaaaab~" Rain replied playfully and grabbed his bright yellow backpack. "Are you gonna walk me home, Mr. Worrywart?"
Sky rolled his eyes and started packing his own things as well. "Are you five? Why do I have to walk you home?"
"Aow? I thought you were worried."
Sky gave him an exasperated sigh and got off his chair, swinging his bag over his shoulder.
"Let me just clarify this... when you say 'home' you mean P’Sun’s house right? Not your own."
Rain nodded.
"Then no thanks. I don't want to be a third wheel. And his house is in the opposite direction to mine, too. I'm going home first. See you!" With that said the young man waved and turned around to leave.
Rain smiled until Sky had left the room before he let himself sink back onto his chair. He carefully touched the bruised, swollen skin around his right eye and hissed as soon as his fingers made contact with the sore spot. He understood why Sky was worried about him... he really did. The black eye, the scratched palms, bruises on his lower arms... If Sky came to university looking like this, Rain would be worried, too. He was quietly grateful that his clothes covered the rest. The bruises on his back and ribs, the burn mark on his right thigh. All because he wasn't careful lately. Because he was careless and made mistakes.
He sighed and got up again. There was nothing he could do about it. For now he had to hurry home.
-----
‘Nothing easier than going home’, one would think. 2 Minutes walking to the bus stop. 15 minutes on the bus in the busy Bangkok afternoon traffic. A 5 Minute walk through familiar allies to grab some food at P'Sun's favorite food stall, and then another 3 Minutes until he'd reach the modest family home.
The house belonged to P'Sun's uncle who'd raised him since young. The uncle worked long days as a trucker and was often gone for weeks on end. The pay wasn't much and so the home was in need of some renovations that the Uncle couldn't afford. But even though the house was old and a little rundown, Rain still liked it. He spent so much time there that it had become his second home. After all, it was his boyfriend's house.
Needless to say he knew the way to P'Sun's house by heart. He could probably find it blind if he had to. So why was it that today, the familiar travel had become a disaster and nothing went as usual.
"Oiiiiii~" He cursed out loud after the bus had driven right past him, splashing his jeans with muddy puddle water. He'd bumped into another student on the way to the bus stop and now he'd missed the bus.
"Today is cursed. Really cursed." Rain lamented by himself and angrily kicked a pebble on the ground.
The little rock didn't enjoy being kicked and repaid the human's rude act by making his day even worse. It bounced off the cobblestone once and flew right against the side mirror of a car that was driving past at low speed.
CRACK
The mirror was broken.
Rain stared at the mirror with horror and wanted to run away immediately as the car pulled over and stopped.
'I'm screwed...' he thought as he watched a man in a suit step out of the car. The man looked back at him and Rain quickly looked at his feet, terrified to meet the man's gaze. Maybe if he made himself look small and pitiful and just kept looking at his feet he wouldn't get in trouble. Maybe the man would just let it go?
Of course, on this cursed day, Rain wasn't that lucky. And so after a moment he saw the feet of another person stopping just before his own. His heart wanted to beat out of his chest but he still didn't dare to look up.
"I'm so sorry! It was an accident."
"You kicked the rock that hard by accident?" The man's voice sounded pissed and Rain grimaced at his own feet, wishing for the storm to pass.
"I... I kicked the rock on purpose but I didn't mean for it to hit a car!"
"No matter if you meant it or not, Nong, the mirror is broken. Next time don't kick a rock right next to the road, shouldn't that be common sense?"
"I-... I'll pay for the damage."
"Before we talk about that shouldn't you at least look at the person you're talking to? You kick a rock by the road, you don't know simple manners either, were you raised like-"
Rain stomped his foot on the floor angrily, splashing water onto the other person's pants before he glared at him angrily.
"Hey! I broke your mirror and I'm sorry but I already said I'd pay! Why are you insulting my upbringing all of a sudden!!!" He vented his anger, keeping his eyes locked onto the strangers' eyes. Sharp, dark eyes, behind long lashes. Thick, well-groomed eyebrows and a perfect nose. Rain felt his thoughts derail. One moment he was angrily frowning and the next moment he was staring in wonder at the man's beautiful face. He was so handsome, Rain forgot that he was in trouble for a bit.
The man just watched in silence how his expressions changed and suddenly a pair of gentle fingers touched the bruise under Rain's eye, making him flinch back.
"Hey!"
"My name is Phayu, not 'hey'."
"Huh?"
"This is the point where you should introduce yourself, Nong."
"Rain..."
"Like the weather?" The anger in the beautiful man's voice was gone now, although he still looked just as intimidating as before. Rain nodded in response.
"Well, N’Rain... Drive to the garage with me. So you can pay for my mirror."
"Uhm... Can I... just give you my number? I'm already late. I really need to go home. Just let me know how much I owe you and I'll pay you back?"
Phayu looked at him for a moment, contemplating the offer.
"Alright... but under one condition."
"What condition?"
"You'll let me drive you home."
"What?"
"As a security for me. So you can't bail on me," Phayu said, wearing a confident smirk that made Rain wish he could take photos with his eyes. Usually he would have been offended by the distrust but Phayu was so charming, saying it, Rain could only nod and agree.
At least, he thought, a lift home wasn't too bad of a deal considering how the day had been going so far.
And so Rain got into the big car with the broken mirror, next to the gorgeous stranger and told him his home address. He was supposed to go to P’Sun’s house but he didn’t want to have to explain to his lover why a handsome stranger drove him all the way there.
The drive was quiet. Rain kept secretly stealing glances at the stranger until he was in front of the gate of his parents house. He typed his phone number into P'Phayu's phone and handed it back to him before undoing his seatbelt.
"Thank you for the lift, Phi. I'll pay you back for sure! I never owe anyone anything!" He said with a confident grin and Phayu returned the grin.
"Good."
Rain's phone vibrated with Phayu's call so that Rain could save his number in return but as soon as he'd hung up on the call his face turned pale.
32 missed calls.
15 messages on LINE.
"-in"
"-ain!"
"RAIN!" A strong hand grabbing Rain's shoulder shook him out of his stupor. He looked at P'Phayu with round eyes, like a deer in the headlights.
"Are you alright?" Phayu gave him a surprisingly genuine worried look and Rain almost felt touched.
"I-... I'm alright. It's nothing Phi. My mom just called me a lot of times because I was late. She must be worried. I better get inside. Don't forget to call me about the price of the mirror," Rain said hastily and undid his seatbelt.
Phayu nodded slowly, "I'll call."
Rain closed the car door behind himself and hurried into the house without looking back. His mother wasn't home. No one was at home. That was probably for the better, too. He heard Phayu's car starting and driving off just before he closed the front door of the house behind himself. Rain hastily pushed the call-back button on one of the missed calls, his heart beating out of his chest.
[Rain?!]
Rain swallowed, already feeling guilty, "Phi! I'm sorry. Some things happened and I-"
[When are you coming?]
"I... I don't think I can come today Phi. I'm already at home."
[You went home?! Is that how you're going to treat me? We had a little fight and now you're avoiding me?]
"No I-"
[You know we should talk about what happened yesterday right?]
"I know..."
[Do you still love me?]
"Of course!"
[Then you need to stop running away. We need to talk about what you did yesterday. Communication is important.]
Rain swallowed and nodded slowly to himself, "I'll take the next bus, Phi."
[Good boy. Don't forget to bring food. I'll pay you back, it's my treat this time.]
"P'Sun... You're not angry anymore?"
[Mh. Text me when you're about to arrive.]
"Khrab, Phi."
The call was hung up and Rain felt as though his stomach had been twisted into a tight knot. Of course he knew communication was important in a relationship... and fights should be resolved as quickly as possible. He knew. So he took a deep breath and left the house again.
This time the rides and walks worked out flawlessly. Rain even felt a little happy that this unlucky, cursed day had finally taken pity on him.
He bought P'Sun's favorite food and arrived at his house without any more trouble... so of course he was happy.
He was happy until P'Sun opened the door.
"P'Sun!" Rain was about to hug his lover but P'Sun stopped him.
"We should talk." His voice was so cold that all of Rain's happiness stayed outside the door when he entered the house.
"You said you're not angry anymore..." he said in a small voice, wearing a pout on his lips.
"Why did we fight yesterday?" P'Sun took the food from Rain's hand and placed in on a table before crossing his toned arms and looking down at Rain.
Rain stayed quiet.
"Nothing?" P'Sun asked him with clear annoyance in his voice.
"Well I... It's because you don't believe me when I tell you-"
Rain stopped speaking immediately when P'Sun's hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.
"If you want me to believe you, you need to stop telling lies first. Isn't that right?"
"But-"
"Fuck, Rain!" P'Sun raised his voice until he was shouting and pushed Rain back with his hand. Rain bumped into the wall.
"Can you stop talking back?! How long will you make me put up with this attitude of yours? Can't you just apologize like an adult when you've done something wrong?! Instead you make me look like the bad guy."
"But I don't remember you telling me that you needed the car that day, Phi. I didn't mean to make you miss your interview... I needed the car to drive to university. I had a test too andMMPH!"
The big hand that'd squeezed his shoulder before was now covering his mouth. Thumb and fingers digging into his soft cheeks so hard that he feared they would bruise, too.
"STOP... making excuses. You and I both know how forgetful you are. It's not that I didn't tell you, you just forgot that I had a job interview. Do you ever actually care about what I tell you? Do you ever listen to me? Or is talking back the only thing you can do?!"
Rain's whole face felt hot and his eyes were filled with tears until they were almost overflowing. He couldn't argue back. He could never argue back. Maybe P'Sun was right... maybe he'd really forgotten. Maybe he was a bad boyfriend who didn't listen when he was spoken to.
P'Sun released the painful grip from his jaw and pulled him into a tight hug instead. Rain felt the first tears pouring out of his eyes.
"I love you Rain. I really do. But you need to do better, too. I'm already being so patient with you, can't you try to understand me, too?" P'Sun spoke softly now and Rain couldn't hold back a sob. He hugged his lover's broad back and cried.
"I'm sorry, Phi. I love you, too."
"It's really hard to believe when you say that with how you treat me all the time, Rain..." P'Sun sounded so disappointed it tore Rain's heart into pieces.
"No, I'm sorry. Please believe me, I really love you. I promise I'll do better. I won't use the car anymore. I'll just leave it parked here so you can use it when you need it. I can take the bus, it's not a big deal. And I'll try to listen better... I'll... I'll save everything in my phone so I don't forget anymore. Please don't be mad anymore," Rain was begging without shame but he didn't care he only wanted the fight to be over. He wanted to go back to being happy and in love. Why did they always have to fight so much?
"There there, little rabbit-" P'Sun broke the hug to pet Rain's head and give him an affectionate smile, "Phi won't be mad anymore... but you have to do me a favour. If you do this one thing, then I'll forgive you."
Rain wiped the tears off his face and nodded full of enthusiasm. He could do anything. As long as they could stop fighting... he could do anything.
"Then... tonight will you let me do you the way I like?"
He could do anything... except for this one thing.
Rain paled and stared at his boyfriend speechless for a while.
"Just this once, na?" P'Sun tilted his head, giving him his cutest smile and Rain swallowed his fear.
"...okay."
P'Sun gave him a bright smile and ruffled his hair.
"You're the cutest, I love you so much. Alright. I'm not mad anymore. Come let's eat. Let's eat. It smells delicious. And... Rain... you did well... coming here today, apologizing for your mistake. I can tell that you're trying. I'm happy."
Rain smiled faintly, happy to be praised but the anxiety about what awaited him later didn't completely leave him. P’Sun wasn’t like everyone else. He was good and kind, everyone who met him liked him. He spoke well and had good manners, too. Rain felt so fortunate to date someone like him. Someone handsome and kind and cool. Someone who doted on him and praised him plenty. It was only when the bedroom door fell into lock that Rain felt like running away.
Because P’Sun wasn’t like everyone else. P’Sun was good and kind… until he was on top of Rain on the king size bed. Then the gentle Sun became scorching hot until Rain was burnt alive.
Rain didn’t like the pain. He didn’t like to be insulted and degraded. He didn’t like to be tied up with his hands in the air until he was helpless. He didn’t like to be hit and slapped until he was crying and begging for it to stop. But what he disliked the most was… that P’Sun never stopped. P’Sun only stopped when he was done playing. No matter how much Rain suffered and cried and pleaded with him to stop because the pain was so bad that Rain could barely take it… he still never stopped.
But Rain knew that P’Sun was happy hurting him like this. Because P’Sun was not like everyone else and Rain loved him anyway. And no matter how much he hurt he was still happy because when P’Sun was done playing he would hold him close and tell him how much he loved him… that Rain was the only one who could make him this happy.
And that was enough.