Chapter Text
Shen Jiu got a terminal illness diagnosis the day he turned thirty. Like every year, he was working through his birthday as his older foster brother plaintively asked him to have a small celebration with just the two of them. ‘No’, Shen Jiu irritably waved Yue Qingyuan off, too overwhelmed by the extra duties pushed on him for the day, ‘I’ll celebrate next year.’
But he will not be able to see his next birthday. It is beyond his life estimate.
Shen Jiu has been working his fingers to the bone ever since he ran from his foster home. Scrubbing floors, driving electric rickshaws, cooking in overcrowded kitchens, anything and everything to earn money to ensure that he won’t have to be under anyone’s mercy again. When his long-lost foster brother, Yue Qi, now Yue Qingyuan, finally found him, he knew that he had exhausted all the luck left in his life.
Qi-ge had been hired by a good company, and with his connections he brought twenty-year-old Shen Jiu into the company too. Since he was hired a decade ago, Shen Jiu toiled for the company. He spent many lonely nights curled on a cot at his office. Researching. Disciplining subordinates. Long days and brutal projects. So many fucking meetings with coworkers that eyed his efforts and accomplishments like vultures, and who snub him whenever they could. He showed up to work with masks and medications if he was sick, and worked on his laptop if he was bedridden. There was never enough money to make him feel safe, not when an accident or a layoff could threaten every yuan he worked for. Not when Qiu Jianluo could come at any time and Shen Jiu needs to grab Yue Qingyuan and leave again.
For the last year, he woke up with a headache and pain in his abdomen. It was getting progressively worse, to the point where Shen Jiu occasionally needed painkillers, but he was only mildly annoyed at his own weakness. He should’ve been more concerned. Today, during a meeting with the company’s other “pillars”, Shen Jiu suddenly paused, white spots blotting his vision. In front of his coworkers, he vomited onto himself, and then fainted, hitting his head on the meeting table on the way down.
He woke up in the sterile room of the local hospital. His forehead was bandaged, and he was wearing a hospital gown. Qi-ge’s face slowly came into focus. Qi-ge held his hand, tears rolling down his usually dignified face. “A-Jiu… Xiao Jiu,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry…”
After being rushed to the hospital, the staff did an emergency blood test while he was unconscious. They found that his bloodstream was saturated with a strange hormone they could not immediately identify and an incredibly high white blood cell count. After he woke, and was still in shock, they asked for his permission to take an x-ray. Shen Jiu numbly agreed, and they found a large mass right below his abdomen. The doctor solemnly estimated he had no more than six months to live due to the size of the mass. At this point Shen Jiu could not bear any more bad news.
Qi-ge begged him to stay at the hospital for further observation, but Shen Jiu collected his items in stiff, jerky movements. The hospital gave him a gray sweatshirt, sweatpants, and the bag of his vomit-soiled work suit. Qi-ge followed him out of the hospital like a wounded dog.
“I need to take a break from work…” Shen Jiu began, his voice flat after he requested a taxi, “I want to be alone… I’ll call you when I’m ready.”
“Xiao Jiu, I don’t think you should be alone right now. I’ll find you a better hospital, I’ll call a doctor that I know. Please come to my house, we can talk about this,” Qi-ge begged. Shen Jiu shook his head.
“Qi-ge, I can’t be around anyone right now. Please, I need to think,” Shen Jiu said, speaking softer than he ever remembered. As callous as it is, he can't stand to see Qi-ge falling apart when deep down he still sees his older brother as his big strong protector. Qi-ge reluctantly let him go when the taxi came.
When Shen Jiu first got home to his modest apartment, it was like he was in a fugue state. It was like he was awake during a nightmare, and he thought that this couldn’t be real. But the damn x-rays and lab results wouldn’t give him that bit of reprieve.
Then he raged.
Shen Jiu threw everything around in his shitty apartment. His meager eating utensils, cups, and plates all violently crashed against the wall or the floor. His neighbors shouted their complaints beyond the walls, but whatever he shouted back made them blissfully quiet for the rest of his temper.
Hours later, a calmer Shen Jiu was setting his work badge on fire on his shitty balcony. He could've just mailed it back or thrown it in the trash, but it felt more symbolic like this. Shen Jiu worked ten hard years for Cang Qiong Mountain Inc. He also knew that the higher-ups, coworkers, and most of his subordinates have little care for him. They loved working him like an ox, but he was an eyesore to them. He does not have the patience or charisma of his brother or the other “pillars” of the company. He could only temper his caution, resentment, and ever simmering anger into coldness and aloofness.
Still, he was grateful to have stable work. He worked as hard as he could, to repay the debt to Qi-ge for protecting him from the clutches of their former foster family, and convincing the Cang Qiong Mountain bosses to take a chance on a young adult who, until then, only worked under the table to avoid detection.
But… when did fear take over his everyday life? Even now when he's thirty, a part of him always felt that he is running and hiding from the Qiu family. He can’t remember the last time he spent money on himself that doesn’t involve work. He hardly eats at restaurants, cooking the cheapest meals he could. He refuses to go out and socialize, even with his own brother. There is no TV in his apartment. His apartment was small and claustrophobic, and in the years he owned it, he never had a guest other than stubborn uninvited Qi-ge. He compulsively checks his bank account throughout the day, making sure every yuan was still there.
Shen Jiu shakily breathed and thought that it would be a shame to die before he finally used his money on things that could possibly make him happy.
The first thing he did, impulsively, was to buy clothes on a shopping app. Good clothes, the ones that he can wear outside of work. The nicest clothes he owned were business suits—that needed to change. He bought random decorations for his apartment too. Paintings, poetry scrolls, more comfortable furniture. He also bought a TV flatscreen, although he doesn’t know how often he would use it.
The second thing he did was text Ming Fan and Ning Yingying, who were the only coworkers other than Qi-ge that genuinely showed concern in their texts. He thanked them for being so loyal and kind to them. He gave them some final advice for their projects and told them where to delegate the rest of his duties until they hired his replacement. He paused, and told them that he would be amenable to having dinner with them.
Next, he sent a text message to the higher-ups. He told them that he is quitting effective immediately, and (solely for the benefit of Qi-ge) he thanked them for his time at the company.
Lastly, he sent an incredibly rude message to Liu Qingge, because he hated that twat the most, and the very limits of professional conduct never let him go any further than calling Liu Qingge a “foolish brute”.
Shen Jiu turned on the “do not disturb” function on his phone as it immediately blew up, and quietly retired for the night.