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Fíli looked into the mirror and gave his moustache a nervous tug. There was not even a single wrinkle on the festive clothes he wore, his hair was freshly braided and adorned with beads and yet his face seemed uncharacteristically pale. He swallowed. It was finally going to happen today, after so much waiting, after years of pining for you in secret, and—what was most important—after surviving the Quest. Now Erebor was reclaimed and he was finally able to speak of his feelings and ask you to marry him. Fíli dreamed of the moment when he would be allowed to call you his wife… if you agreed to his proposal, that is. His stomach decided to tie itself into a knot and Fíli realized that he was even more terrified—no, warriors never got terrified!—he was even more nervous than before the Battle of Five Armies began. What was worse, at the very moment when he imagined your lovely face, your smile, and the way your soft lips parted, saying “yes”, every single word of his well-rehearsed speech seemed to have disappeared from his mind.
Muttering a swear word under his breath, Fíli left his chambers. A breath of fresh air was all he needed to clear his head. He was a prince, after all, and he would act like one. He only needed to find his composure. There was still some time until he was going to meet you for dinner in the Royal Wing. Everything was prepared, the music, the atmosphere, the candles, the food... It just had to be perfect. He had to make it happen. But now, Fíli needed a few moments to himself, and he had to be quick about it. Hurriedly, he directed his steps towards one of the outer terraces of the Lonely Mountain.
As he strode ahead, barely registering the surroundings, his mind focused on recalling the speech he was about to make, something thudded against his chest.
“Ouch!” a familiar voice reached his ears. Your voice.
“ Gamzûna ! What are you doing here?!” Fíli used the moniker you gained after one of the orc attacks during the Quest. It meant “fierce lady”. He looked straight into your eyes, smiling.
“I’m so very sorry, Fíli! I mean, I didn’t…” you started, trying to catch your breath. At that very moment, you both realized something. You stood very, very close to Fíli, your hands placed against his hard chest, his arms wrapped around you. He must have instinctively embraced you at the very moment you bumped into him.
“It looks like you have been in a hurry,” he murmured with that alluring smile of his. His arms were still around you, holding you close. Fíli was not letting you go. You tried not to think of what would happen if someone saw you embracing in the middle of a public corridor, his face so close to yours.
“I was seeing Princess Dís and realized what time it was, and I wanted to be quick so that I wouldn’t be late for…” your voice trembled. “For the dinner you invited me to.”
“You are here and I am here too. It seems that we have plenty of time to reach the dining hall, don’t you think?” Fíli winked playfully. “By the way, you look stunning tonight.”
The smile you gave him in return was barely visible.
“Thank you. Since this is going to be our last evening together, I thought…” you cleared your throat, looking away and pulling at one of the intricate laces of your elegant bottle-green dress.
“What are you talking about, Gamzûna ?! Last evening? Are you going somewhere?!” Fíli’s eyes widened. He was so close to telling you about everything he felt for you! That couldn’t be happening!
“It seems so,” you took a deep breath. You dreaded every single word of what you were about to say, but it needed to be done. There was that old saying, If you love someone, set them free –right?
“Please, tell me that you are joking! You can’t go!” Fíli protested. His embrace became even tighter.
“It will be for the best. You’ll see. Until today, I had hoped that tonight…” you tried not to sob and shook your head instead. “I like you, Fíli. I really do. And we grew closer during the Quest, all those evenings together, all the dangers we survived… I felt the bond between us was special. You were always so good to me, so caring. I don’t know when exactly I understood what I felt for you, but tonight I wanted to tell you… Well, it doesn’t matter now any more, does it? No, please, let me finish. Today at breakfast Balin say that you needed a wife now, someone worthy of you. And Bofur added this had to be someone who made you smile. Dwalin kept on saying how you admired women who were fearless warriors. And then Kili told me that a beautiful lady stole your heart a long time ago and that it was time you proposed to her. Ori even wanted to show me her picture but then Thorin told everyone to stop prattling. Fíli, it is time for me to return to my old life in the Blue Mountains. I will not stand in the way of your happiness, but I wanted to have this last evening with you. For old times’ sake.”
Fíli’s heart beat strong and fast under his tunic. His brow furrowed. His eyes searched your face in silence.
“I’m going to kill every single last of them!” He finally huffed.
Your jaw dropped. That was the last thing you expected him to say.
“Fíli…?”
“Yes. I’m going to strangle Balin! Then I’m going to cook Bofur in a stew! And I’ll throw Dwalin from the rampart!”
“Fíli! What are you talking about?!”
“ I’ll feed every single one of them to the mountain trolls! And I’ll drop an avalanche right on the top of my brother’s stupid head! That lulkh ! And Ori…”
“Please, Fíli! Could you at least let me go?”
“No! You are not going anywhere!” Sparks of anger glinted in his eyes as he covered your hands with his. His voice softened. “ Gamzûna , will you tell me now what you wanted to tell me tonight? I would very much like to hear it.”
“There’s nothing I can tell you,” you whispered, avoiding his gaze. “You are supposed to marry that beautiful lady of yours, remember?”
Fíli was now holding your hands in his. His skin was as warm as sun on midday. And his radiant smile was back on his lips, his moustache beads clinking as he tilted his head.
“Aye, it seems that the cat is out of the bag now,” he chuckled, making you frown.
“What’s so funny?”
“Come. See for yourself,” he held your hand and pulled you gently after him, down the corridor. “There is a lady whom I want to marry. She makes me smile and she is one of the fiercest warriors I know. And she captured my heart on the day I met her. This is her.”
As he spoke, he turned you around until you faced one of the stone walls of the corridor. This particular wall was covered with a large mirror in a golden frame.
You were looking at your own reflection.
“What are you saying, Fíli?” your eyes met the reflection of his silver-blue gaze.
“I love you, Gamzûna ,” he murmured, stepping to face you, his voice laced with tenderness. “Was that what you wanted to tell me too?”
“I’m afraid not,” you replied.
“Oh…” Fíli’s smile faded away.
Now it was your time to chuckle and hold his hands in yours.
“I wanted to ask you whether you would do me the honour of becoming my husband, Fíli, son of Dís.”
“ Gamzûna …” Slowly, reverently Fíli cradled your face with his palms as his lips hovered over yours. “You are perfect.”
“Does that mean ‘yes’?” you whispered, brushing your nose against his.
“Guess,” his hot breath fanned your skin a moment before your lips met but you already knew the answer.