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Ami had stopped the car in front of her house. For a moment the blunette had looked at her, trying to keep up a pokerface, but even Crystal Tokyo’s Head of Intelligence’s training couldn’t cover the concern she had about her best friend. And then Ami had asked her if she was alright.
She had just had pressed her lips together and nodded while staring at the small, perfect looking garden of her house. They were home, their last mission was the past now. Their failed attempt to evacuate the planet, the deeds of those who lost their lives to achieve more time for the evacuation, the dead, the dissolution of society, the Fall of Rago, it was all the past now.
“Mako-Chan, you know you can call me whenever you need me. Shall I ask my mother for a prescription for something to soothe you?”
“No Ami… I’m good. I am home.”
Makoto grabbed her small daypack from the backseat and opened the door.
“Bye Ami. Thanks for the ride.”
Ami kept her gaze on Makoto as the tall brunette got out, put on her backpack on and then opened the door to garden.
Her slumped down head and the short goodbye confirmed Ami’s opinion that Makoto was everything but good. But not even she had managed to get really through to Makoto since the afternoon after they had fled the system. Minako had been ordered by Setsuna to take a break in the medbay and had went to the Royal Quarters onboard the Far Side. As soon as she had closed the door behind her she had broken down and Makoto, who had just arrived from passing out supplies to some of the thousands of refugees on the Gladiator-Class Star Destroyer, had walked over to her and had embraced her blonde friend before she had broken down herself. Tears streaming down their faces the two of them had held onto the other and wailed their pain and sorrow out.
But after that, Makoto had become quiet, far from them even.
She had functioned, helping where she and her Commandos could and on top she had spent a lot of time with the newborn that she had brought along with the last flight from Rago. In the last moment, the parents had given the child into Makoto’s arms so at least their child would survive. Makoto had barely had her arms laid around the small bundle when the advancing Yuuzhan Vong had cut down the parents, splattering Makoto with their blood.
Ami had to literally drag her under the shower to wash away the blood after their return.
Ami took a deep breather and turned her gaze back to the windshield. Maybe, hopefully, Kenji could Makoto give some of the rest and healing she needed now, she thought as she started the car again. And she hoped the same for herself with Ryo.
Makoto didn’t took a look at the garden she cared so much for, a tiny, beautiful, green retreat in the streets of Juban, as she walked to the door of the single story house she lived in with her husband.
She pulled out the bundle of keys out of the trousers of her olive-colored uniform.
Taking a glance at the key for the door of the house she tried to shielded the thoughts about how many people would have used to come home after work on Rago similar to this if this damn War hadn’t made their planet another theater of it.
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard before she took a key and used it to open the door.
It began to become evening, was Kenji already at home? She hadn’t looked at a watch since ever she had left the Far Side and had helped to bring children, now orphans of war, to the waiting busses which would take them to their makeshift shelter on Crystal Tokyo.
Makoto took a step inside, closed the door behind her and then stood there for a moment. No lights, no sounds. Kenji was probably still at the institute, after all she had told him that she didn’t know when she would be home.
Empty eyes took another scan of the apartment from where she stood in the genkan. She held in for a moment, that was good, the silent drive from Crystal Tokyo to Juban had given all the bad thoughts time to creep into her mind and she didn’t want to see Kenji before she couldn’t harden herself again.
Suddenly the door into his work room opened and a head popped out.
“Oh, please tell me I didn’t forget the time again. I was working on that new holo-net to Internet-interface… What’s wrong?”
She tried to make a happy face but it didn’t work. Or, what was more likely, he looked right through her again.
Within an instant he had crossed all the way to her was about to embrace her but was welcomed with a hand pushed against him. Makoto know if she would sink into his arms now, all her barriers would break.
But as always in these moments he already knew, he always knew, and still tried to put her arms around her.
“Stop. Really, not now Shinozaki. I’m telling you.” She even pushed her hand against his chest to make him go away, but he didn’t flinch, he never flinched. She was strong, everybody knew that. Sailor Senshi, owner of the black belt in various martial arts, leader of some of the finest warriors Earth had to offer but he never flinched when she tried to push him away from her to not let her vulnerable side come out.
“Oh no… that planet you went to help. It was that one they mentioned in the news.”
The demise of a planet with a few million inhabitants was just a side story in the news.
“Rago… the name of the Planet is Rago.” The first tear hadn’t streamed down her cheek before he had her in his arms. And then she finally broke down.
Head buried on Kenji’s shoulder the two of them slumped down slowly to the floor, slowed down by his gentle grip.
For minutes all Makoto could do was to cry, while her husband embraced her tightly and gave her the chance to let out her agony.
When Kenji noticed that her crying had turned to sobbing and her breathing had steadied, he started to gently wipe away the tears from her face with his hands.
“I hate that you always get around my defence, Shinozaki. Since ever we were kids.” She said, a small, harried laughter following while Kenji bedded her head on his shoulders again.
“You always call me Shinozaki, when you’re upset with me.” Another laughter followed by her nonchalantly snuffling.
“I am. I didn’t want to break down but I just can’t keep my guard up around you.”
She now felt how he gently kissed her on the head.
“I am sorry, that you had to go through this. Is there anything I can do?”
“Can you please hold me a bit longer?”
“I will hold you as long as you want, even if it’s forever.”
For another long moment everything was quiet.
“You know we never had a chance. We weren’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough.”
“Not strong enough? Makoto, you are the strongest woman I know.”
“Haruka and Usagi…”
“Haruka and Usagi haven’t had to overcome becoming an orphan and being on their own since an early age and still be the most kind and generous person I’ve ever known.”
He moved and put his hands around hers.
“Mako, whatever happened on this planet, It was not your fault or anybody else’s from Earth. I know that you did what you could and then even some more, like you always do.”
She didn’t answer and although she listened her empty gaze didn’t give away any reaction to the words he said.
“Like you did back then, when that pink lion attacked us. You not only gave me first aid and called an ambulance, no, i wasn’t even in the hospital and you already made sure that they use you as blood donator.”
“Cardian.” She hushed.
“Excuse me?”
“It wasn’t a pink lion, it was a cardian. And it was the least I could do after you saved me.”
Kenji could feel her fingers clenching his tighter.
“I couldn’t save you back from that attack back then.” Her voice gave away pain.
“And I couldn’t save you from the pain you’re enduring right now.”
“That’s not the same, I’m a Sailor Senshi and…”
“And you’re my wife and no matter how strong you are, how much of an elite soldier you are or magical powers or not, I should be there for you. Always.”
She pressed her head closer onto him.
“And again. How do you do this?”
“Do what?”
“This thing you do. When not even Ami or Usagi manage to break through my cover so easily.”
“Mako, first of all, you don’t need to keep your guard up around me. I promised I’ll always be there for you and have your back. After eleven years you should know that.”
A pause, Makoto reminisced how she finally had come clear with her feelings. It wasn’t her old Senpai, or someone she just had met. It was the one constant she always had, even before she had met the girls.
She remembered like it had been just yesterday, they had just said their goodbyes to the Starlights, the sun was going down and suddenly she just had this urge to leave. She wasn’t the only one back then who took decisions after that, being killed and brought back to life does have an effect on you and tends to make you see which things are more important in life than others.
She had run like a maniac over to the Shinozaki household. His mother, who always had treated her like a daughter as well, had been surprised to see the panting Makoto in front of their door.
“Is Kenji here?” She had pressed out between breathing.
“I’m here, what’s wrong Makoto?” He had said as he appeared behind his mother. She remembered how Kenji’s mother had that knowing look on her face.
“I have to take care about dinner. Makoto-Chan, you’re invited of course.”
Kenji was the only one who didn’t seem to know.
That night they had their first kiss. She had told him her feelings, how much he really meant to her and that she finally had understood it.
“I have always loved you.” Had been his answer and after years of being the best friends their lips had met under the light of the moon that just had come up.
“C’mon let’s get you up from this cold floor.” His voice brought her back into the present.
“I need a hanky.” She giggled again, eyes red from her crying but they spoke of love as she looked at him.
“I’ll get you one. And then we’ll see that you’re comfortable. How about I order a pizza for us?”
To his surprise she began to pout.
“Shinozaki, do you really think that getting my ass kicked from a race of extragalactic invaders could keep me away from showing my husband that there’s no food better in the whole universe than mine?”
Her lips curled up and she could produce a smile in which he joined in.
Makoto woke up rested for once the next morning, a night in your own bed, next to your husband, can make quite a difference. She definitely felt less miserable, Kenji’s talent to do that.
Even when her Senpai broke her heart back then, he had been there.
She leaned back once more and then stretched herself out, before she began to ask herself where her husband was. She had fallen asleep in his arms, after they had slept with each other. It had been gentle and tender lovemaking, she had needed to feel him as close as it was possible.
Afterwards, cuddled into his arms, head on his chest, listening to the relaxing beat of his heart she had closed her eyes and finally had found a bit peace of mind.
She checked her phone and saw that among messages from the girls, there was also a message from him.
It stated that he was back soon, he was on his way to get some fresh bread from the bakery.
Makoto’s lips curled up for a second, she knew where he was heading to, that bakery she loved so much. Back before Crystal Tokyo had emerged she had been very interested in starting to work there to become a pastry chef but just as with the other Senshi, duty came before dreams. Not that she didn’t love her duty. Talking about that, she had to call Rudy and see how the team members were, as commanding officer of Crystal Tokyo’s Special Forces she wanted to make sure her subordinates were doing okay as well.
She hoped her eyes weren’t that swollen anymore when she got up and walked over to the small dressing table in the room, grabbing a hair ribbon on the way and putting her hair in a ponytail.
Soon after they were sitting together at the dinner table, having breakfast together. Kenji had told the institute that he would take the day off today.
Something he rarely did, except when she asked him, he was just as much a workaholic as Ami and Ryo, no wonder he had become best friends with Ryo. And Kenji loved being an engineer and to solve technical difficulties. His technological understanding was so great that Ryo often asked him for his opinion and expertise when it came to Interfaces or anything referring to radio waves. Even the kingdom and Ami had done so as well before. And Makoto absolutely adored how he could completely get absorbed into the world of electronics and radio waves and his gadgets.
She looked over to him, he opened one of the bags from the bakery and showed her the most tasty looking croissants before offering her one with a goofy grin.
Kami, how much she loved this man, not even for making her feel extra special but for making her feel normal. Like a normal woman, a normal human being with all her flaws. And still finding ways to love these flaws.
After they had cleaned up after breakfast Makoto had planned to get stuff down, if only to keep herself occupied. But although, at least she was honest with herself, she somehow had expected it, Kenji’s caring side began to take over. He told her to stay on the sofa and keep her feet up, to rest. He could take care of things and if she needed him, for cuddles or to speak, he would be there in an instant.
Although the horrible experience still ran deep, Kenji’s presence alone made things more bearable.
She, the strong, hard, tough Makoto and he treated her as cautious as a raw egg.
When he finally appeared in the kitchen door, in the process of donning an apron she couldn’t help herself anymore. Wordlessly she waved him over and although he was a few centimeters taller than her it didn’t took any effort to pull her arms around him and embrace him.
“I love you.” She said with her eyes closed and a faint smile on her lips.
“I love you too. Why the bear hug?”
“Because you’re so good.”
“Me, good? I’m not the one of us who saved the world. Multiple times and still continuing to do so.”
“But you saved my world. And you're continuing to do so.”
“I’m just trying to be the husband you deserve.” A warm smile had appeared on his face and he couldn’t keep eye contact. “Although I’m not sure if I can ever be that.”
A hand appeared on his face and turned him back to her.
“Kenji. You are the best husband a woman can dream of. You even changed your last name for me so tha…”
“It was the right thing to do. I have a brother but the Kino-line would have ended otherwise. It’s a beautiful name.” Before he could say anything more soft lips kissed the corner of his mouth, silencing him.
He had turned his head and reciprocated the kiss on her lips.
The kiss ended but both still had their eyes locked.
“Kenji… there is something I wanted to ask you.”
“Anything for you my dear.”
“I saved a child on Rago. Unfortunately she lost her parents…” A pause. “We brought her with us to Crystal Tokyo. I was thinking maybe we could visit her. You know, to make sure, she’s alright.”
It wasn’t much later when they arrived at a children’s clinic in Tokyo. Makoto had asked for the favor to find out to which makeshift orphanage the child had been brought to and Ami found out that the child had been brought back to the hospital after it just wouldn’t stop crying.
The couple had entered the hospital and after flashing her Crystal Tokyo Military service card and telling the nurse at the reception that she wanted to check on a child they had brought with them the nurse lead them to a more secluded hospital room.
“We had to separate her from the other babies because she sometimes just starts crying and doesn’t stop anymore.” The nurse told and then stopped for a moment, before she continued with a lower voice. “Some children who endure traumatic events show these behavior.”
Inside the room another nurse was holding the baby and trying to make stop crying.
This nurse was looking surprised, as her coworker brought in the two visitors.
“Who are these people? Her parents or relatives? Maybe someone who at least knows her name?” She asked over the baby’s crying and Makoto looked at her, pressing her lips together for a moment, Kenji next to her laid his arm supportively around her.
“I’m the soldier who rescued her.”
The leeriness in the nurse’s eyes vanished.
She took a step towards the couple while the other nurse left the room again.
“You wanna hold her?” The nurse gently offered the child to Makoto and she carefully took the bundle of a white blanket with the baby, its rosy face red from crying.
A few seconds later the baby stopped crying and took a curious look at Makoto.
“Hello my dear. I’m here to visit you.” She glanced over to Kenji.
“There is someone I’d like you to meet.”
Slowly, as to not make too abrupt movements Kenji walked over to his wife and the now silent baby.
“I’ll have to see the other children.” The nurse excused herself and left the room, quiet but swiftly.
With a hint of a smile Kenji looked at the baby and then at his wife, her eyes glittering while she gently rocked the child in her arms.
He knew that Makoto always wanted to have children and to be a mother. Knowing that her duty to Crystal Tokyo came first they had decided to not have children before the ascent of Neo Queen Serenity to the sole ruler of the planet, something which hadn’t occurred and now the War made having kids impossible. But no matter what, after this War, she needed to become a mother, her behavior with the baby in her hands was proof enough.
“What’s her name?” He asked her.
“We don’t know. I guess as of now, she doesn’t have one.”
Kenji paused for a moment and looked at the earrings of his wife. Earrings she was wearing when he had met her and never stopped to, they were a part of her, a last gift from her mother. And now when he looked at those images of rose petals he was sure that one day in the future, when Makoto and he would have a daughter, Makoto would give them to her child.
“What about we tell the nurses that her name is Hanabira?”