Chapter Text
"Hey, Mechamaru. You think I can come visit you sometime?"
"Huh?" Mechamaru whirs to life like an old computer, one bright green eye flicking on. It’s the only light inside his dark silhouette against the window of the bullet train. He has to use his less-damaged arm to reposition his torso manually to face Kasumi, broken chassis creaking with the strain - privately, Kasumi wonders at the fact that he can even move with all that damage. "Didn't catch that," he says, voice tired even through the tinny ring of speakers. "I was asleep."
"Oh!" Kasumi's already blushing, rubbing her fingers across the polyester armrest of her seat. "Sorry. You can go back to sleep if you want."
"It's fine," he says, sounding more annoyed than fine. "Just repeat the question."
"Oh, uh, I was just asking… if I could come visit you sometime, you know?" Kasumi glances at him, his wrecked face slightly obscured by the hair hanging over her eyes. She looks away quickly, telling herself, get it together! “I mean, it’s just… I think, during the Goodwill Event, we all got a lot closer, playing baseball yesterday and everything… but you kinda got excluded. And I guess, usually in the sorcery world we kinda avoid getting close to people, but… I really liked hanging out with everyone so I thought maybe… you know, maybe we could hang out.” And she shuts her mouth firmly and fixes her gaze on her knees, ignoring Mechamaru’s ever-impassive gaze.
A moment passes, then two. In the background, a burst of quiet laughter from Mai as Momo says something funny. Kasumi picks at her nails and wonders if Mechamaru is mad at her. “Sorry,” she says quickly. “I know it’s kinda weird to ask.”
“No, it’s fine,” Mechamaru says, and he sounds just as awkward as her, thankfully. “I just don’t really know what to say.”
“Say you’ll let me visit?” Kasumi says, giving him a sheepish look.
Mechamaru sighs, a ringing, hissing noise through the speakers, and turns back towards the window. “Sorry.”
An unpleasant jolt goes down Kasumi’s spine. “No, it’s fine,” she assures him too quickly, lurching towards him on instinct. “I get it, I get it… I don’t like people coming over when I’m sick either.” Which is a lie. When Mechamaru doesn’t say anything, she hastily adds, “You know what, just forget I said anything.”
“No, it’s not that,” Mechamaru says haltingly. “There are just… circumstances. You know?”
“Y- yeah,” Kasumi says, even though she doesn't. “Well, we can always hang out in other ways, right? It doesn’t have to be in person…”
“I guess,” Mechamaru says, but he doesn’t sound convinced. He turns back to the window of the bullet train, adjusting his hood with a tinny sigh and unceremoniously killing the conversation. Kasumi fidgets with her hands for a bit, then shrugs to herself and turns back to her phone, ignoring the jittering in her stomach.
“Alright, everyone,” Utahime says, clapping so loud that it echoes off the bleachers. It’s more for flair than anything, or maybe habit. Nobody is talking. The fine ranks of the Kyoto Jujutsu High seniors have been reduced to six surly, beat-up teenagers, scattered across the bleachers at Training Ground Three. Utahime, by contrast, has recovered from her encounter with Satoru Gojo and is once again straight-backed and serene. “Let’s debrief. Anyone have any thoughts to start us off?”
Dead silence over the field, interrupted only by the faint sounds of idol music from Todo's phone. He's draped over two rows of bleachers a ways away from everyone else, not even pretending to be paying attention.
Kamo raises his hand.
“Yes! Kamo.”
“The Tokyo students show great promise,” Kamo says. He doesn’t mention Fushiguro, but Mai rolls her eyes anyway.
“That they do,” says Utahime. “You all fought well as well.” From the looks on everyone’s faces, nobody buys that.
“I liked playing baseball,” Kasumi pipes up. “The Tokyo students were actually really nice!” There’s a murmur of approval. Utahime nods.
“Why did we have to try and kill Itadori?” Mai pipes up from where she’s sprawled at the back of the bleachers, picking at a bag of chips.
Utahime makes a face. “Unfortunately, matters of security aren’t up to me.”
“So Itadori is a threat to our security?”
"How can the administration have let a special-grade through?" Momo asks.
"Let us talk to the principal," Todo says abruptly, voice carrying across the field.
"Yeah! Why did he order us to kill Itadori?" Momo says.
"Principal Gakuganji is busy right now," Utahime says, provoking a general eye-roll from the cohort.
Kasumi tunes out the rest of the students and just looks around at them instead, fiddling with her hands in her lap. They look rough. Kamo's still covered in bandages, Momo is bruised and battered, and Mai looks exhausted. Todo is staring at his phone. In the background, she catches a glimpse of blond hair ducking behind the bleachers - Nitta, spying on the returning group. He'll get his information from Momo later, probably.
Kasumi gets a strange feeling, though, like there's someone missing. A moment later, she realizes why.
"Where is Mechamaru?" she murmurs.
Everyone takes vague notice at this, glancing at her with flat eyes. The training ground falls more or less silent.
Utahime makes an uncomfortable expression. "He's decommissioned right now."
It's not unusual for Mechamaru to miss class. He is, in Mai's words, 'the school's number one flake.' Sometimes it feels like he misses school every other day.
This is different.
Mechamaru's never tolerated people seeing him as a robot or a puppet. Valentine's Day last year, her meagre attempt at an olive branch had been promptly ruined by a few blunt sentences - What do you think I am? And when she'd tried to explain - It's just a proxy, and don't forget it.
But the assistant managers had hauled Mechamaru's remains in during the salvage operation in Tokyo, a hunk of warped, gutted metal with wires and fragments spilling out of the middle. He wasn't moving - Mechamaru had given up hours ago, left his body lying broken and empty on the roof. Kamo and Kasumi had been resting in the common room at the time, and even Kamo had gone quiet after Mechamaru was carried up the stairs and covered with a sheet. Mechamaru had barely been able to start up again on the way back. And now, he's missing from class and training, and nobody talks about him. And she knows it’s not his real body, she’s not stupid. She knows he’s fine. But still…
On the fourth day Mechamaru's absent from class, Kasumi scrapes up the courage to ask Utahime what the deal is with him. She chews on her lips for a second and replies, "He's off sick."
"Is he okay?" Kasumi asks.
Utahime looks at her strangely. "He'll be back soon," she says, and changes the subject.
"Okay, everyone," Utahime says. "Let's go over our assignments for today!"
Mai sighs loudly, which Utahime pointedly ignores. Kasumi stays silent, eyes fixed politely ahead at the blackboard. She tallies up her to-do list in her head as Utahime speaks. Schoolwork, training, working out, she has to speak to Momo about their plans this weekend… oh, and buy a present for Mai or something, she seems down…
"...and that'll be due - Oh. Welcome back, Mechamaru."
Kasumi blinks and glances at the doorway. Frozen there, like a deer in headlights, is Mechamaru. He pauses - gives Utahime a hesitant nod and heads to his seat, feet clanking quietly against the floor.
"Right! As I was saying…"
Kasumi tries to get a good look at Mechamaru without looking too much like she's staring. On the other side, she sees Mai doing the same. He looks almost pristine except for a few new scratches and dents. Completely repaired in just a few days. Unless he brought out a spare? But then, why the wait at all? Kasumi dares to turn a little more towards him to catch a better look, and he glances at her. She gives him an awkward smile and a wave and turns away towards the blackboard again.
She’s lost in thought as Utahime tells them all their schedule for this week. She seems to have learned not to rely on Mechamaru’s presence in class. Kasumi wonders how on Earth he’s passing his classes. She glances at him again, but he’s just sitting there, statue-still, his back even straighter than the chair he’s in.
“...and start work on your notebooks,” Utahime continues, “if you want to, in advance… they’ll be due in the fall…” Kasumi scribbles this down in her agenda, already mentally portioning out the work. “That’s all for today,” she says. “We currently have enough adult sorcerers to cover the day, so no missions will be assigned. You’re all free to go.” A quiet yesss from Mai. "See you later.” And she sweeps out of the classroom without fanfare, probably to go talk to the third-years.
Mai and Kasumi start packing up. Mai, as usual these days, isn’t meeting Kasumi’s eyes. Kasumi guesses she’s going to go to her spot behind the admin building, or next to the fenced-off business area. Probably to curl up and mope into her knees. Kasumi sighs internally and moves to intercept her, hoping to distract her before her sullenness can reclaim her.
“Hey,” Mechamaru says.
Kasumi startles and looks up. He’s standing over her with his arms stiffly at his sides. “Oh,” she says, “hi, Mechamaru. What’s up?” In the background she watches Mai cast a glimpse at them, then leave with her bag slung over her shoulder. Ah, well.
“I… wanted to apologize,” Mechamaru says.
That catches Kasumi’s attention. She glances at him, studying his unmoving metal expression as if it would explain why he’s acting so weird. “For what?” she asks, shouldering her own bag and motioning for Mechamaru to follow her out of the building. She tries to avoid his gaze so she doesn’t blush, and doesn’t entirely succeed.
He trails behind her with his feet clunking dully against the floor. “For blowing you off after the Goodwill Event,” he says. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I was… out of it, at the time.”
“Oh, that? Don’t worry about it,” Kasumi says, turning around to give him her best reassuring smile. “If nobody can visit you, that’s fine! Especially if it’s out of your control. Really, I was just being self-indulgent, so don’t worry about it.”
“...I was talking about my overall tone,” he says.
Oh. Kasumi’s face goes hot, and she smiles a bit more, trying to seem less nervous than she is. “Oh! Yeah, don’t worry about that either.”
He nods.
“...Why were you out of it, if you don’t mind my asking?” Kasumi asks.
Mechamaru pauses, but before she can take the question back, he replies lamely: “Headache.”
“Aww, that sucks.” She makes a sympathetic face. “Did you enjoy Tokyo at least?”
“I didn’t get to see much of it,” he says. There’s another long pause, but again, before Kasumi can jump in with something else, he adds: “The campus was pretty impressive. I guess.”
“Yeah!” Kasumi nods vigorously. “Apparently it’s a hub for a ton of sorcerers. I think Momo plans to move there when she’s done her placement here.”
“That’s not a bad plan,” Mechamaru says. “Though, I think the sorcerers there might eat her alive. Nobara in particular.”
“Oh, did they not get along?” Kasumi shoulders open the door and steps out into the gentle morning sunshine, holding the door open for Mechamaru to follow. They head down the steps together, turning left towards Training Ground 2.
“No, from what I saw they seemed… well… Nobara insulted Mai,” Mechamaru says carefully. “I think it had something to do with her sister…”
“Maki?”
“Mm. Well, not that I’d know,” Mechamaru says. “Clan politics… ugh.”
“Ha, tell me about it! I don’t even talk to Kamo all that often and I still know everything Fushiguro did during the event. Are they friends, or something?”
Mechamaru shrugs. “Something like that,” he says opaquely. “At least he’s not-”
“Todo,” Kasumi says, more of a sigh than a word.
“Do you think he actually knew Sukuna’s vessel in middle school?”
“Itadori denied the whole thing later,” Kasumi says. “I guess you were already decommissioned, but Todo actually chased him halfway across campus before the baseball started, and he ended up falling in a pond!”
Mechamaru chuckles. “Yeah, I guessed as much.”
Kasumi beams, wiggling her toes. He laughed! “Yep,” she says, “Plus apparently he held off that special-grade for a really long time, just him and Itadori. Just what you’d expect from Todo, I guess.”
Mechamaru doesn’t answer for a long second. Kasumi glances at him, but he’s just staring ahead as he walks, blank. She waits.
“I can’t believe they attacked the Goodwill Event,” he says eventually, quietly, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it… They hurt Todo, and Kamo, he...”
“Todo is fine,” Kasumi says quickly. "They both are."
“I know that,” Mechamaru retorts, but he seems absent-minded. “It’s just… he could have died. It's insane. Insane…” He shakes his head again, seemingly at a loss for words.
“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy!” Kasumi tries to laugh casually, but it comes out slightly strangled. “Well, you know what? They have Satoru Gojo on it, so hopefully he’ll catch whoever did it pretty soon. We’ll be fine as long as he’s on call.”
“I hope so,” Mechamaru says. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?”
“Me? No!” Kasumi shakes her head. “I was asleep the whole time.”
“Asleep?”
She laughs, strangled again with embarrassment this time. “Well… yeah. It’s not like I just lay down and went to sleep in the forest. Inumaki called my phone and I didn’t have my guard up…”
“Since when does Inumaki have your phone number?”
“Oh, he doesn’t! It was your phone that Panda stole.”
“My phone?”
“It’s fine! Don’t feel bad!” Kasumi says, maybe a bit forceful with her smiling. “I made it home safe and sound, and everyone’s alive and okay, so there’s nothing to worry about. I mean, you’re the one who got damaged the worst and it wasn’t even by the attackers!” A mental image of Panda flashes through her mind, and for a moment, she just wants to ask him - How could you hurt Mechamaru so badly? She ignores it.
“That was still incredibly irresponsible of them,” Mechamaru says with a surprising amount of venom. “Putting you to sleep, defenseless, in a forest full of curses? You could have died.”
“I was already pretty defenseless,” Kasumi admits. “Maki broke my sword.”
“She did?”
“She did! I thought I could beat her since she’s only fourth-grade, you know, but…” She shrugs. “Grades aren’t everything, apparently.”
Mechamaru snorts. “No. Especially not when the ones managing them are nepotistic bureaucrats.”
“Well, that’s kind of unfair, don’t you think? The higher-ups may not be perfect, but at least we got a ranking system.”
“The higher-ups are far from not perfect,” Mechamaru says, with unconcealed disdain.
Kasumi laughs, rather awkwardly. “I don’t know… I kinda like it here.”
“Really? You get paid, like, nine hundred yen an hour. On jobs that might kill you.”
“It’s eleven hundred,” Kasumi protests. "And it'd be higher if they'd let me go on better missions. These easy ones couldn't kill me if they tried."
"I just don't think you're cut out for this, Miwa," Mechamaru says, shaking his head. "Especially not the harder missions. The things you have to see and do…"
Kasumi's face goes hot. "If you really think all that, maybe you're the one not cut out for fighting."
"That's impossible," he says. "Fighting is the only thing I'm useful for." He says it without passion.
"It isn't, though. You do other stuff all the time."
He shakes his head, sighs as if she's just not getting it. "If I stop fighting, I'll die."
"Isn't that a little..."
"It's true. The higher-ups would stop paying for my life support, and…" He shakes his head. "I have to keep fighting."
Kasumi blinks. "Life support?"
He falls silent for a too-short moment. “Never mind.”
“No, no, what? They wouldn’t just let you die, right? That’s… that has to be illegal.” She didn’t even know he had life support. It conjures up images of people in hospital beds with tubes in them, dying on TV. Mechamaru isn’t that sick - right?
“Just forget it,” he says. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I have work to do. I have to go.”
“Hey, wait!”
He turns and hurries down the path, leaving Kasumi standing alone in that shadow of the admin building, wondering what went wrong.
It's not like the test is going to be that hard, Kasumi tells herself, tapping her pencil idly on the edge of her notebook. For lack of a proper desk she's perched cross-legged on top of her disarrayed bed with a math textbook open on one side, a notebook in front of her, and a half-eaten bowl of carrot sticks lying, slightly tilted, among the blankets. She takes a breath and pushes her hair back, trying to stare at the trig question hastily copied into her notebook. Her eyes, ever rebellious, decide that the plain white wall is more interesting.
Her phone buzzes. She glances at it, smoothing her hair absentmindedly.
It's not a big deal, she thinks, twiddling her pencil. It'll be easy. She glances at her phone - goes to pick it up - stops herself. She shouldn't, she knows she shouldn't. It's math time. Time for doing math.
From: Momo. Just now. "hey bestie!! me n mai are going shopping wanna come?"
She shouldn't.
Okay!
She considers this, then, for damage control:
Only if we're back before 10! I have homework :')
well, we *are* going to a cafe after if you wanted to study there, Momo replies.
Oh, thank gosh. Sold. She reorders her homework into neat piles, grabs her half-charged phone, pulls on her shoes and bolts to the front gate.
Momo’s dressed in her “civvies,” as she likes to call them - flawless makeup as always and a loose dress that, like all her clothes, fits her perfectly and looks amazing. She’s always been thinner than Kasumi, and Kasumi can’t help but be a little jealous at the way the fabric hangs. Momo beams when she sees Kasumi and comes over to give her a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. “Miwa! I’m so glad you’re coming!”
Kasumi giggles, bubbles of joy rising and popping in her chest that make her wiggle and shake her hands around in delight.
Mai smiles at her as well from where she’s leaning against the front gate, arms crossed. She’s dressed all nice too, and it makes Kasumi feel rather plain with her suit and her amateur makeup. She says as much to Momo, but Momo just laughs, and so does Mai, long and joyful and sharp as nails. “Don’t be silly,” Momo says, “that’s why we’re going shopping!”
The school cars are all fancy, because Kamo and Mai insisted: there are partitions between the passengers and the driver, like a taxi. Kasumi only gets a glimpse of the driver as she’s ushered into the car by a giggling Momo, but from her hairstyle it seems to be Sugimoto, an assistant manager roped into driving them around. Kasumi waves to her. She smiles and waves back, her pretty dangly earrings swinging gently with the motion.
They all pile into the car, giggling and pressing against each other. Momo’s hair gets in Kasumi’s face and she smells like flower shampoo. Both Mai and Momo’s purses end up on Kasumi’s lap. They’re still getting buckled in as the car pulls away.
“Sooo,” Momo says, “what are we getting, girls?” Her voice is much louder now that it’s just her, Kasumi and Mai, and Kasumi smiles at the sound. This is Momo at her best - imperfect and rosy-cheeked and excitable.
“New hair gel,” Mai says, leaning back in her seat.
“Nice, nice! I’m getting some lipstick,” Momo says, “and whatever else I like… well, provided I can afford it…” And she gives Mai her best puppy eyes.
Mai plays along, rolling her eyes. “Get something nice, Momo. I’ll pay.”
She claps with glee. “Oh, I knew it! You’re the best, Mai, come here.” And she kisses her on the cheek. “Right. Miwa?”
“Uh,” Kasumi says, “I mean… I don’t want to impose…” The very idea of spending Mai’s money makes her want to shrivel up and vanish like an unwatered house plant.
“The only thing you’re imposing on is Naobito Zen’in's wallet,” Mai drawls, “and that is a heroic act.”
“Come on, dummy, you do this every time! You’re our friends! My money is your money,” Momo says. “And Mai’s money is my money!”
“Sorry…”
“We’re not complaining,” Momo says indulgently. “What do you want? Come on, anything. Or should I choose for you?”
Kasumi blushes and looks down.
“My choice it is! I think you need… a necklace.”
"With that suit?" Mai asks.
"Yes! Okay, listen. I have a vision. Picture it!" Momo spreads her hands out wide. "Same blazer and pants. Love them, mwah, we're keeping them. But we give her a coloured blouse and some jewellery… a nice subtle face…"
"Hmm," Mai says approvingly. "What colour of blouse?"
"Yellow, to contrast with her hair. Then we can put red accents and have a bold primary look."
"She'll look like Coraline," Mai says. "Pink would be better."
"Ooh, Mai, you are a genius! Pink it is! What shade?"
"Deep. Muted. Kinda magenta." She thinks for a second. "Gold necklace."
"Gold?" Kasumi gulps as a price tag in the tens of thousands of yen swirls before her eyes.
"Come on, Mai's paying," Momo says, elbowing her. "Consider it a gift from your besties! Oh, and we were gonna study a little too, right?"
Kasumi smiles. "Um, yeah."
"Right! We'll go shopping, then café. Alright? Don't you worry, Miwa. We'll get you through math class one shopping trip at a time!"
As they get farther and farther from the school, Mai starts to smile.
They go to all the fancy stores, the ones that smell like perfume where the staff smother you.
"I like the one with the rose on it," Momo says. "You know? I think it has this, like, nice tailored look." It's true, it flatters her. She looks like an angel with that delicate gold necklace glittering around her neck.
Mai grins. "Sold. Miwa?"
"I don't know…" Kasumi looks down at the bright yellow blouse Momo picked out for her (despite Mai's protest). "It looks kind of… I don't know… loud?"
"That's the point," Momo says. "Come on, just give it a try. What are you afraid of?"
Wasting money. "I don't know."
"We're buying it," Mai says.
"It looks good on you," the attendant chimes in, her voice coloured by her polished-perfect smile.
"Why don't we buy something else instead?" Kasumi asks, slightly desperate. "Like those pants, uh…"
"The ones that were too small for you?"
She turns red.
Mai laughs. "Come on, let's cash out."
Kasumi cringes away at the cash, physically unable to watch Mai hand a few 10,000 yen bills to the cashier. All she can think about as the cashier hands back their change is how much food that was worth… how many clothes…
Mai stuffs her folded-up yellow shirt into her arms and gives her a big hug. "Let's wear it while we study," she says.
"What if I get food on it?" Kasumi asks, but Mai just laughs.
Twenty minutes later, Kasumi's seated at a café with a bright yellow blouse and new makeup on. She's wearing her blazer over it, at least, but she eats her raspberry tart so meticulously and slowly that Momo asks, laughing, if she's trying to eat it layer by layer. Mai makes a joke about eating like a bird. The café is full of the warm sounds of chatter, and Kasumi's homework seems easy with Momo relaxing beside her, and it is getting late.
Time passes in a warm haze - a few trig problems, Momo's warm praise, Mai's free, joyous laugh. The waiter coming over to ask them if they've finished - Mai picking up the bill - the warm taste of raspberry tart lingering in her mouth - the cement beneath her as they sit on the curb, waiting for a pick-up, laughter and chatter and conversation flickering like warm lights across the evening crowd.
Sugimoto picks them up not long after. She smiles when she sees Kasumi, rolls down the window and waves. Kasumi waves back.
"Late night, huh?" Sugimoto asks.
"Sorry," Kasumi says with a sheepish grin over the crinkling of shopping bags as Mai and Momo pile into the back of the car. "Are we past curfew?"
"Yeah, but no worries!" Sugimoto says. "Driving you gives me a break from paperwork, you know? Go on, get in."
The ride home is quiet, only the sounds of the distant radio through the partition, Momo's quiet snoring and the wheels bumping against the road. Mai stares out the window, her knuckles tight around the handles of her bag. Kasumi stares out at the buildings passing… the trees… she's warm and full and her eyes are drifting…
Sugimoto opens the door Kasumi's leaning on, and Kasumi yelps, just barely righting herself before she falls all the way out of the car. The cool night air hits her not long after.
Sugimoto laughs. "Having a nap?"
"It's late!" Kasumi protests.
"Five more minutes," Momo groans as she slides past Kasumi out of the car.
"Get to bed quickly," Sugimoto says. "Nishimiya, you have a mission early tomorrow."
Momo lets out a good-natured groan. "Oh, don't remind me." To Kasumi: "See you around!"
"Yeah! See ya!" Kasumi gives her a quick hug, and Momo shuffles off to bed. When Kasumi turns around, Mai's already disappeared, probably also to bed.
"Go in," Sugimoto tells her. "I'll take care of the car. Tomorrow's a mission for you too, isn't it?"
"Mmm." Kasumi rubs her eyes. "Not an important one."
"Good luck either way." And with a smile and a wave, Sugimoto climbs into the car and leaves.
The campus is different at night, would be almost eerie without the warm afterglow of this evening. Kasumi's bag tugs at the joints of her fingers as she shuffles over into the dark dorm building and towards her room.
There's a clank down the hall.
Kasumi freezes, jarred out of her sleepy stupor. Before she can ask who's there, Mechamaru comes around the corner. He stops short. "Oh. Miwa," he says, a little loud for this time of night. His voice sounds… weird. "You're still up."
"Sure am," she whispers.
"Are you…" He looks down. "Are you doing anything right now?"
"Going to bed."
"Oh… Are you wearing makeup?"
"Yeah," she says, blushing, and resists the bizarre urge to apologize.
"Well-" Another choppy pause- "It looks good on you."
"Thanks!" she chirps, a little too fast, fidgeting with her bag. "I'll… see you tomorrow in class?"
"Yeah," he says, a little raspy. "See you."
"Well then, goodnight." And without another word, she hurries down the hallway, heel-toe, quietly. Mechamaru doesn't move as she passes him and slips into her room. She closes the door and turns on the lights.
For a moment, everything is silent - just silent enough to hear, dimly, Mechamaru echoing her even though she's long gone. "Goodnight," he murmurs. Then he sighs and continues down the hall.
She listens for his footsteps, but he doesn't come back to his own dorm room until long after she's fallen asleep slumped over her desk, with the lights still on.