Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

*FOUR YEARS OLD*

???’s POV

I stare up at a wet ceiling.

( How long have I been here? …am I going to be here forever? )

My eyes start to burn, and the ceiling wavers.

“ I don’t want to die. ” I whisper to myself, in this cold, dark, damp place, so far from the sunlit forest I like to hide in from the pale watching faces at the Orphanage. “ I’m only four years old - it’s not fair! I don’t want to die! ”

“ Hmph! This is supposed to be my Jinchuuriki? This mewling cub ? ” A deep, rumbling huff exhales a warm breath over me, and I hiccup loudly as I scramble up onto my feet, I hiccup a few more times as I turn. Tears blur the face into a messy orange blob, with angry red eyes glaring at me from the darkness. “ How dare those humans- ”

“ WAAAAAAH-! ”

“ ACK! ” The blob jumps as I wail, but I close my eyes and tilt my head back, screaming as much as I want for once in my life - and for once , just once - the heavy, tight, pinching pain in my chest eases. “ I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I APOLOGIZE, LITTLE HIME! I APOLOGIZE! I’M SORRY! PLEASE STOP CRYING! I’M SORRY! ”

There is a lot of shaking and metal screeching, like when the big Inuzuka dogs ram against their cage doors real hard when they are excited or angry.

The orange blob-person-thing continues to ramble apologies and sorries to me as I cry loudly and stumble forward. I manage to stumble through some bars and fall into some fur. I continue to cry and wail as I hide there. I sob and sob as a big nose nudges me, and a big tongue licks my back, I continue to sob for a long time.

It helps the big hurt that’s always in my chest.

I cry myself to sleep, hiding there in the fur of the big orange thing, in the dark, wet place with no sunshine or leaves. It feels safe there, in their fur.

Kurama’s POV

My tiny, scream-y Jinchuuriki cries itself to sleep in my paw.

None of them have done that before.

In fact, no one , human or animal, has done that before. Not even my siblings have dared .

Once they fall into a quiet, hiccup-y sleep, I stare at them. A mop of sloppily-cut blonde hair and too-big clothes for the wrong gender is a bad disguise for the fact that her chubby cheeks will never take her father’s jawline, her eyes have her mother’s shape, and while they’re tiny, she has an absolute forest of freckles on those tiny, pink cheeks of hers.

“... they said ‘ Narue ’ for a girl, right? ” I mumble, mostly to myself, nosing at her again, I try to remember what that curse Fourth Hokage and Second Jinchuuriki of mine said about this child of theirs. “ Or was that just a pet name for ‘ Naruto ’? …I should’ve listened… ”

Her tiny back continues to rise and fall with ease, and I gently lick her back. She lets out a tiny purr, and I rumble my own without thinking. I quickly cup my hands around her, forming a small, furry dome to trap heat for her.

Human cubs need heat, right? There are times where this seal chills even me, after all.

I feel when they wake up, but I don’t move, still cradling them gently.

( That infernal screaming was hair-raising at best . )

“ You’re the Fox. ” I pause for a moment, then open my hands curiously to peer at her, and she sits up to look at me with big, alert, blue eyes. Kushina’s eyes were never quite this alert. “ The grown-ups think you're evil. ”

“ Everyone thinks someone is evil. ” I tell her, she blinks, “ Isn’t there someone you think is evil? ”

“ Oro-chi-ma-ru. ” She sounds out, I tilt my head curiously, then lower it closer to her. “ He used to steal kids from the Orphanage. He took one of my friends - his name was Kabuto Yakushi. No one knows what he does with them once he has them. ”

“... that…might actually be evil. ” I admit, her eyes go wide, “ Usually, it’s only a misunderstanding, or a culture clash - like how Aburame love having bugs around, but the Hyuuga and Uchiha are neat freaks? Or how the Uchiha don’t really care about the main branch versus side branch, but the Hyuuga really, really care? That's a culture clash. ”

Her already big eyes go bigger.

“ You see, humans think they’re very smart, but emotions rule over all of us. Even me, even you. Logic is just a word people use when they’re sitting pretty and playing politics with each other in some sterile hall, far from the field of battle. ” I huff, my tails thrashing behind me as I recall Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju’s little ‘ talk ’ all those years ago.

Then I notice the rising water lines in my Jinchuuriki’s eyes.

“ Ah! H-how about we talk about something else, little cub? ” I offer, she nods her head rapidly with a quiet, squeaky whimper. “ U-um, f-far, far ago- ”

She breaks into bubbling giggles, and I get the terrible feeling I bumbled the beginning of the story.

“ Listen ! It is very hard to hear people talking, all the way down here in this seal! So this story starts f-far, far ago, ” She muffles her laughter politely, but smiles at me with happiness brighter and purer than sunshine . For a moment, just one moment , it feels like I’m standing outside again, with the sun warming my fur, and birdsong in the air.

I don’t just tell her stories. I teach her how to channel chakra, how to call her Adamantine chains, how to summon her cursed father’s Hiraishin seals, and basic Iryojutsu. She’s stuck with me in this dark, damp seal for nearly a week before she starts to fade back into her consciousness, but she clings to me when she does.

“ I’ll remember you, right? ”

“ Of course, little cub. ” I cup her to my face gently, she cries big, fat tears at me, but doesn’t let out one of those horrible screams again. “ Why wouldn’t you? ”

“ Sometimes… ” She stops, and there’s a horrible, blood-chilling moment when an orange spiral mask flashes in my head, the memory faded and soft at the edges, but filled with fear and horror and gut-wrenching terror . “ Sometimes one of the faceless watchers…doesn’t watch. ”

She fades out, and I’m left staring at my hand.

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

I take a deep breath, opening my eyes to see…

No one.

There is no one waiting for me.

I blink. The small, little, happy bubble that Ku-ra-ma made pops inside my chest. The big, bad hurt comes back. The one I screamed away while inside the seal. It settles inside my chest, dark and deep and painful and heavy.

My eyes sting painfully, and I wipe away my tears.

The door opens, and a woman with long, blonde hair in two low ponytails comes in, muttering to herself. I’m the only person in here, it seems, since she comes straight to me.

“Hi.” I mumble, without thinking, and she pauses, looking towards the door before looking back at the little clipboard and the chart in her hand. Then she stops, going statue-still. I blink and rub my eyes as her eyes go big, I sniffle slightly as my nose runs.

“ Get every available doctor in here immediately! ” She screams, running to the door, “ Call the Hokage and tell him that Naruto Uzumaki just woke up! ”

I stare at the closed door of my ‘ new home ’ that ‘ Hokage-jiji ’ just dropped me off at. I can feel Kurama’s rage curling around me, like a hurricane trying to beat down a forest or a tsunami washing away a coastal town. It felt like a storm blanketing me.

( Is Kurama why everyone looks at me with those eyes? Those angry dark eyes with…with hate so deep-evil-cold inside them? Why would someone hate Kurama? He’s so kind to me, so nice and gentle - like Inu. )

Kurama’s rage falters suddenly-

( Little cub, I can hear you. )

I yip quietly, and quickly scramble under the bed in surprise.

Kurama’s muffled laughter rings out around me still, and an image of him with his face covered by his big hands, tails waving delightedly in the air as he cackles loudly and bangs one fist against the floor comes to mind.

I stare out at the apartment with big eyes. I barely pay any mind to the way my own body is splayed out. My legs doing an awkward forward-tilted split, my arms almost straight forward, fingernails digging into the ground as I push my butt as close to the wall as I can, and my casts digging into the weird, squishy floorboards awkwardly.

( Cub, please, you’re going to hurt yourself. Please get out from under the bed. )

Kurama wheezes slightly as he lectures me.

( Where are you? WHY CAN I HEAR YOU BUT NOT SEE YOU!? )

( Narue, I love you, but you are a very, very stupid child. )

( WHERE ARE YOU?! )

( Narue, little cub, I LIVE INSIDE YOUR TUMMY! )

I feel my eyes go very, very big, Kurama wheezes-

( AAAAAAAAHHHH- )

( NOT AGAIN! )

*EIGHT YEARS OLD*

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

As I stare at Iruka-sensei, he tightens his grip on the kunai. I feel the tension drop from my shoulders.

“ It’s not really me that scared ‘em, was it? ” I pull the stupid fox mask off my face, my eyes stinging harshly as I look up at him. “ It’s the same thing that makes you hate me, that makes everyone hate me. ”

“ Naruto- ”

“ No. ” I hiss, a sharp burst of anger that is all mine , that is all my own , and I look down as I drop the mask. I back away from him, from the village , from the Academy , from everyone . “ No, I don’t think so. I…I’m leaving. I’m never going back. I’m never going back to the Academy. ”

( Cub- )

( No. Not even you can convince me. )

( Then go. )

I turn, and run . I run fast, I run hard.

Iruka-sensei yells something, but I don’t listen, don’t hear it. I just run.  

( Okay, and… )

There’s a small burst of red sparks, I close my eyes as chakra flares briefly-

“ Holy shi…take mushrooms… ” I open my eyes, finding a… new sight in front of me. “Hey, little cub, how do I look? Drop-dead gorgeous or what?”

Kurama badly mimics some of the poses I do in my bathroom mirror with my old sunflower dress, and I snort loudly and fall over laughing. He smiles with teeth like mine, cheeks with whisker-freckles identical to mine dimpling like mine do, with brown eyes narrow like my father’s and hair as red as my mother’s.

He mentioned that the genetics would be a gamble, but hey , it was close .

“Totally, aniki, totally .” I smile at him, he smiles back, dropping the dramatic pose, “Now, coordinates or clothes first?”

“ Eh? ” He looks down, then quickly uses his hands to cover himself. “ Aren’t you a little young to be such a pervert!? ”

“ Ha! ”

Iruka Umino’s POV

I land on the ground, facing Naruto with a scowl-

The both of them.

The two of them.

( Two Naruto?! )

My first instinct is to reach out for a genjutsu or a henge, but they both remain solid - looking startled, surprised, shocked , even - but very solid, unmoving, identical.

“ Shit. ” The one on my right states, “He’s better than I expected.”

“ What?! ” I hiss, surprised, mildly offended,

“ Run , nee-chan, I’ll hold him.” The Naruto on my left offers, reaching behind his head, but the one on my left grabs his wrist, “Nee-chan?”

“You’re the one that wants to leave.” The one of the right states, “You’ve suffered enough. Go . You know the coordinates.”

“No-” The one on the left body-flickers away before I can even finish, let alone lunge, and the one left takes a stance. I stare at Naruto in dismay. “Naruto - Sage, are you even Naruto!? Are either of you named Naruto?! What is even-”

“My name is Kurama, that was Narue. The Third Hokage is rather fond of forgetting his glasses. He either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that Narue isn’t Naruto.” Kurama introduces, but doesn’t come out of his stance, I pause heavily. “Can you kill me slowly enough to ensure her escape?”

“... excuse me? ”

“I don’t care if you kill me. Humans have always thought I was evil and never particularly cared about talking or learning about the other side’s motivations or other such things, but she has suffered and nearly died more times than I can count simply from being on the premises of Konoha . I am begging you ,” He breaks his stance, lowering himself first to his knees, then bowing into dogeza. My heart drops out of my chest, it feels like my blood freezes over in my veins, and I swear I feel the ghostly touch of the Shinigami’s blade on my breastbone. “ Let Narue live. Let her escape. Kill me if you want, but let my little Jinchuuriki go- ”

“Please get up.” I almost croak, dropping to my knees and grabbing the edges of the Kyuubi’s jacket. “I-I can’t promise anything about Narue, but please , for the love of everything holy, get up .”

He looks up, and there’s the small glimmer of tears on his lash line.

“ They have taken everything from her. I beg you. ” He pleads, and it feels like a kunai is digging into my chest. “ Her parents wanted her to be loved , and I can’t even do that for her- ”

“ Yes, you have. ” I whisper, he drops his head to the ground, his hands curling into fists, as he starts shaking. “ You love her like you're losing a limb, like you’re hemorrhaging blood - like you’re losing a child. ”

“ She was so afraid, she saw me as safe. ” He chokes out, it feels like a door slamming shut, or… or maybe a coffin.

( I’m never going to report them. )

*TWELVE YEARS OLD*

(Still) Iruka Umino’s POV

I stare, wincing, down at Naruto Kurama’s face.

“ Run, ‘Rama. ” I whisper to him, desperately , his eyes widen, flashing briefly red, then, there’s a brief chill, like a breeze across my skin-

- and he’s gone.

I stare at the two of them, side-to-side in front of me. Mizuki gawks at the identical Naruto, just as I once did, but I reach for Kurama - Kami, how can I tell them apart so easily now? - Narue speaks with a voice so dark, so chilling , even Kurama’s hair stands on end.

“ If you ever lay a hand on our sensei, I’ll make sure your screams are so loud, so echoing , they’re inscribed in stone. ” Narue promises, Mizuki hesitates, his hand hovering over the shuriken on his back. Then he smirks, unhooking it from the rope.

“ Promises, promises. ” Mizuki growls, “I can completely destroy you in a single move !”

Kurama takes a step to the left, but Narue takes a step forward, and I lay against the tree weakly, dropping my arm back into my lap as I watch her.

( She used to be such a big joke, a deadlast. Now she moves so confidently - where has she been? What has she been doing? )

“ Bring it on, Mizuki. ”

BOOM

Light and heat and sound and chakra.

The night explodes , Kurama yelps, jumping backwards as I shout, somehow he winds up cowering in my arms with the Scroll of Sealing under one of my legs. The light burns under my eyelids, all I see is the shadow of Narue’s back as she stands in front of us - as she protects us.

We sit there, panting in exhaustion in fear, blinking the light from our eyes for barely a moment after the sound recedes before every single Shinobi in the entire Village descends on us-

-on the two of us, and Mizuki’s corpse.

Narue is nowhere to be seen.

( What the Hell?! Where has she been? Where did she go!? )

Kurama shivers in my apartment after the Hokage forces the others to release him. I gently pry him out of the corner of my couch and shove a bowl of ramen in his hands.

“ Do you know where she’s been? Where she went ? ” I ask, for the very first time, he looks at me like a deer in headlights-

-and shakes his head.

“ I can’t feel her chakra. She-she’s not in my territory, not in Fire Country. ” Kurama whispers, still clad in the Naruto disguise, but looking very much like a frightened kitten at the moment. “ She’s, I don’t…she’s too far away from me. I can’t feel her. I don’t even know if she lived- ”

“ If she died, she would’ve died here . ” I murmur to him, gently using the edge of my sleeve to wipe the big, fat tears off his cheeks. “ She’s alive. She’s probably somewhere safe. We just don’t know where that is, okay? Now why don’t we eat something and go to bed? You have school tomorrow, after all. ”

“ I do? ”

“ Mizuki was a teacher when he made that promise, wasn’t he? You’ll have to use my headband for a little while, but- ” I yelp as he lunges forward, spilling the ramen everywhere , but then his arms squeeze around my neck and his cold little nose tucks up next to my jaw and I realize Kurama is hugging me.

It…takes a moment.

It makes my eyes burn a little too, as I return the hug, since I know Kurama hates physical contact and is still incredibly suspicious of humans.

It also hurts a little, because boiling ramen on my stomach and groin.

Chapter Text

NOW

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

As I stare at Itachi, fists on my hips, I feel a lot like a middle-aged mother .

“ It’s not what it looks like- ” I inhale deeply as his excuses start, cutting him off as I pinch the bridge of my nose, Sasuke makes a questioning noise from where he crouches, stabbing the genjutsu.

“ Itachi Uchiha . ” I rumble, letting out some of the deep growl that Kurama used to use, “ What did I tell you about your ‘Suicide by Little Brother’ plan? ”

Itachi swallows loudly, dispelling his genjutsu and warily slinking towards me. Sasuke stumbles up from where he’s been crouched, a deep snarl on his face, sword in hand, and starts to move forward-

-and my Adamantine Chain wraps around his sword, slides around his arms, binds biceps to his chest, ties his legs together, and all-around wraps him up in a bow. I feel my lips curl with a smirk.

( “You’re nothing but a deadlast, Naruto.” Sasuke scoffs, agreeing with Sakura and Ino, “I don’t know why you’re even in the Academy.” )

I turn back to the guilty Itachi.

“ I told you, ” I snarl lowly, he bows his head, and I start the lecture.

At some point Kisame led the rest of Sasuke’s little ‘ Team ’ in, and even brought them some snacks. Nagato, Konan, and Yahiko ( Kami , it’s weird, seeing the little scars where I removed those horrible little chakra rods from his face! But at least I managed to free him and clear up that little mess!) also came in, giggling at the entire thing, Nagato’s new ‘ wheelchair ’ that Yahiko and I invented for him, too loud for them to even try to be sneaky or clever or shinobi-like, but the three of them too loyal and stubborn to even think of leaving him behind.

(It’s why I love them. It’s why I brought them home first before anyone else.)

Finally, I settle into a big, heavy-breathing, angry, seething, hands-on-hips mass in front of Itachi. I wait for an answer with the giggling peanut gallery gathered behind me with a wide-eyed Sasuke staring at me from beside the chair.

“Yes Naruto.” Itachi sighs deeply, I pause, Itachi gently flares his chakra against mine, and I felt it bump against my-

( Ah! The Illusion…oops. )

I rake a hand through my hair with a sigh.

“ This won’t be an easy explanation. ” I mutter,

“ Then just- ”

“ You know my policy in regards to family and honesty. ” I hiss at Itachi, who shrinks, Nagato snickers, Konan slaps his shoulder. “Y’know what? Fuck it. ”

“ Wha- ”

I wrap everyone in Adamantine Chains, causing yelps and gasps as the soft warmth wraps around their single wrists or their waist or wherever else I think will be a non-threatening, but attention-grabbing place to hold them.

Then I activate the Hiraishin Seal that I left on Kurama.

“- in Fire Country-! ” Kurama snaps his jaw shut, turning to face me as we land in the room, also wearing the Naruto disguise. I give him a lazy, two-finger salute as I release everyone except Sasuke from their Adamantine Chains.

Tsunade Senju, Jiraiya, Kakashi Hatake, Shizune Kato, and Iruka Umino all stare with open mouths at us. The only ones not surprised by my feat are Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan.

(I’m fairly certain I hear at least two of them exchanging money behind me, however.)

“Hey fuzzy, what’s up?” I greet, sashaying forward easily, Kurama scoffs fondly at me, but practically skips forward and drags me into a one-armed hug that almost breaks my neck. “ Ha ha! Missed me, much, old man?”

“ You have no idea, Little Cub, no idea. ” He whispers into the side of my skull, burying his face into my hair, the both of our Illusions flickering and blurring around us because of the close proximity.

I hear his breath hitch, and his voice cracks violently.

My smirk wavers, just a touch.

“ I missed you too, fuzzy, so just calm down. ” I mumble into his shoulder, bowing my head as my eyes burn. I blink a few times as my own breath hitches. I feel my chest burn intensely, like I was stabbed, or a fire ignited inside my chest.

It’s hard to breathe like this.

Kurama’s POV

“ No. ” I insist, “ This is more important- ”

“ What could be more important than your parents’ legacy?! ” Tsunade barks harshly, I flinch immediately, Iruka places a calming hand on my back and the room goes quiet for a moment. “I…I didn’t mean it… like that -”

“ No. ” I state coldly, I feel my eyes flash red for a moment as my ancient, old hatred for humanity rears its old, aging head in my chest. I…I let it. For a moment. One ugly, ugly moment. “You do mean it like that. The only one in this room who doesn’t mean it like that is Iruka-sensei and that’s because he knows about who is in- ”

There’s a bright flash, a familiar flare of a familiar, old chakra, in an older, more familiar, much more hated pattern.

“- in Fire Country-! ” I turn, finding a person identical to the person I pretend to be standing in the middle of a circle of criminals, smirking like a feral brat.

Then she dares , oh my feral, heathen brat of a Jinchuuriki gives me a salute .

“Hey fuzzy, what’s up?” She asks, sashaying forward, I manage to choke out a scoff, my eyes burning like a forest fire as I stumble forward. I drag her into a hug with one arm, squeezing tightly to make sure she’s here - really, truly fucking HERE - and she laughs . “ Missed me, much, old man? ”

“ You have no idea, Little Cub, no idea. ” I shove my face into her head, inhaling a deep lungful of her scent.

Candied citrus, vanilla, musk, sea salt, red clay, dried herbs…

“ I missed you too, fuzzy, so just calm down. ” She mumbles into my shoulder, I feel her gently bow her head, her nose tucking into my shoulder. A few tears slip out from under my eyes, without meaning too, and I feel a sob slip out from between my clenched teeth.

Iruka’s warm hand on my back reassures me, but she jumps, someone lets out a soft snarl of warning. I open my eyes, jerking up my eyes as I drop the Illusion without meaning too, baring my teeth sharply as Itachi and Kisame level kunai at Iruka’s throat over Narue’s head.

“ Calm down. ” Narue orders, my muscles release on instinct and I purr at her as I lower my head, the two Akatsuki members slowly bring back their kunai from Iruka’s throat. I feel everyone stare at me as I rub my cheek against her head. “Kurama, please , I’m attempting to be an adult.”

“ You’re barely a cub. ” I rumble at her softly, she bites my shoulder in retaliation, and I bark a laugh at her as small pinpricks of blood rise up through the tiny holes in my jacket. “ Ha ha! Your teeth might’ve gotten sharper, but you didn’t get much bigger, Cub . ”

“I won’t hesitate for the jugular , fuzzy!” She huffs at me, I laugh, gently nipping at her nose as Iruka sighs at the two of us. Someone behind us coughs. “ Yes? ”

We turn, raising our eyebrows at the angry Tsunade, irritated Jiraiya, annoyed Shizune, and (strangely) hurt Kakashi.

“Why don’t the three of you explain yourselves ?” Tsunade snarls, narrowing her eyes at Narue, who I tuck into my chest protectively.

“ Well then! ” Narue says provocatively, I look down at her, and she’s smiling just a little bit too much like me (no matter the fact that she’s using the Naruto disguise right now) for it to be reassuring. “Let’s get one thing out of the way right now! ”

“ NO- ”

Narue drops the Naruto Illusion.

Sakura Haruno’s POV

“ Ino! ”

“ I’m telling you-! ”

“ There is no way - ”

“ Says you! ”

“ What’s that supposed to mean, exactly , Ino-pig?! ” I bark, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and yanking her backwards towards me, she twists to face me-

BOOM

Chakra, emotions, lights, sounds, and (for some reason ) laughter erupts from the direction of Lady Tsunade’s office like thunderclap . Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Shino, Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, and I all shriek (or, in Akamaru’s case, yelp ) and duck down as close to the floor as possible.

“ NARUE UZUMAKI! ” Someone yowls - Iruka-sensei, maybe? - and the laughter stops, but the chakra of too many people to count is lashing out wildly, including Lady Tsunade ! “ THAT WAS RUDE-! ”

“ SO WAS LEAVING ME DOWN THERE TO DIE! ” Comes the raging snarl, “ IF I DO SOMETHING, I HAVE A REASON - OR HAS IT BEEN SO LONG, YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THAT ‘SENSEI’? ”

“ NARUE! ” An older, more ancient, angrier chakra than I’ve ever felt before lashes out with a roar, and everyone upstairs settles down, like a judge calling a courtroom to order.

I share a look with Shikamaru and Ino and we all start running upstairs.

“-and you keep Sasuke-” I throw open the door so hard the wall cracks, but the sight before me is terrible enough I don’t care. Some blonde bitch has Sasuke-kun wrapped up in chains, and is handing him over to Lady Tsunade like he’s a piece of meat. “...clearly, no one else has learned manners either.”

“ Sasuke-kun-! ” Ino and I gasp in horror, several people snort derisively,

“N-Naruto?” Hinata stutters out questioningly, and we all pause, “W-why aren’t…why aren’t you hiding be-behind your-your, um,”

Hinata turns red and can’t seem to find her words.

A boy who’s about a foot too tall and has fiery red hair to his hips, held back in a low ponytail under his hitai-ate, looks up at us and smiles -

“ Oh. ” We all mutter in sync, then I quickly reach out and steady the swooning Hinata, the angry blonde smacks him on the side of the head. Shikamaru snorts loudly as he winces and turns to her with a pouting look on his face, she turns to him and-

“ Wait , hold on,” Ino states, “Why are the two of you so similar?”

“Call it twin -”

“ I meant your chakra, dumbass. ” Ino barks at him harshly, “And don’t think some stupid cute smile is gonna work on me -”

“ Then don’t call it cute. ” A red haired girl grumbles, I give her scathing glare, but she ignores me, cleaning dirt off a pair of glasses. “ Just a note for the next guy you have your eyes on. ”

“ Children. ” Lady Tsunade lets out a low growl, we all straighten up, “As much as we appreciate your concern, her Highness -”

She gives the blonde in front of her desk, who is still holding Sasuke like he personally offended her, a dirty look.

“- Narue , is giving us a run-down of her… questionable -”

Multiple adults let out loud, disagreeing snorts, Jiraiya, Kakashi-sensei, and Iruka-sensei all look pained and Iruka-sensei also looks mildly offended.

“ Just because I’m an Academy teacher doesn’t mean I’m a bad judge of character. ” Iruka-sensei mutters, “ She is fully qualified to be a Spymaster, Lady Hokage. ”

“Would you all rather I take Sasuke Uchiha and ‘ Team Heavy ’ prisoner on terrorism and assault charges under the political rights of Uzushiogakure ?”

Silence reigns after her sugary-sweet threat .

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

Everyone’s eyes are on me.

It’s suffocating .

It burns.

But, kami , revenge tastes so sweet .

“ U-Uzushio is gone- ”

“It was , yes.” I agree with Tsunade, cutting her off with a soft, honeyed voice that has brought Daimyos to their knees in recent years, “Then I decided it wasn’t fair that other people got to live in warm, safe homes while I didn’t even have parents , so I brought it back from the dead. Now I’m bringing my family home , Senju-hime, and this is your one warning ,”

I slam Sasuke to the desk, my chakra flaring violently, suddenly , shattering the seals the held Konoha’s borders, that caged me and Kurama here, that kept them safe.

“ You are only as powerful as your knowledge. ” I lean over her as my chakra flares across Fire Country, other people shrinking away, fear spreading, anger spreading, “ And you didn’t know about me. ”

I activate the seals on Kurama, Kisame, Itachi, Konan, Nagato, and Yahiko.

Kurama grabs Iruka as I take us home.

Chapter Text

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

Iruka, Kurama, Itachi, and Kisame stare at my desk with horror and fascination.

I raise an eyebrow at them, exchanging a baffled look with Nagato and Yahiko as Konan snickers at them loudly.

“Is…is something wrong with my desk, guys?” I ask them quietly, holding a mug of steaming hot tea, still in pajamas and fresh out of my evening shower. They all look up at me like I have two heads.

“It’s empty. ” Iruka says stressfully, I almost choke on my tea, barely managing to keep the towel on top of my head as I bow forward to keep from sputtering the burning liquid all over my chest.

Nagato and Yahiko’s startled laughter does not help .

“You make it sound like Tsunade’s desk is always that cluttered.” Konan scoffs loudly, Iruka pauses, sharing a look with Kurama, and we all pause, “Guys, please don’t tell me the literal child does her job better than a middle-aged woman with a child -”

“ Allegedly she has a child.” Kisame points out, “Until I see that man’s birth certificate, I’m calling bullshit. ”

“There’s no moving him on it.” Itachi sighs, “But please , your Majesty, where is your paperwork? ”

“I completed today’s paperwork and sent it out already? Why else would I feel comfortable leaving my desk?” I ask them, now suspicious as I sip my tea, they gawk at me now, and Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan laugh . I sigh. “ Honestly , what do the other Kages do? ”

“W- what? ” Iruka stutters, Itachi and Kisame are also looking at me kinda funny,

“ Huh . I guess it would be easier and less time-consuming to call yourself Queen instead of Kage …” Kurama muses, running a finger across his lower lip thoughtfully, “I mean, all someone would have to do is track the Royal Bloodline from the clan, right? If somebody wants to call themselves a Kage on the other hand, they have to establish their village as a Hidden Shinobi Village , and, well, you don’t seem keen on that.”

“Oh, no, I want to.” I dismiss that assumption with a wave of my hand, “I just want to be able to get it up and functional as a regular Village first .”

“What do you mean by that?” Itachi asks, tilting his head curiously,

“We have all the buildings needed, we have a Head Doctor at the hospital that’s to some small trickery on Kurama’s part, I have an old sailing friend who’s Head of the Sailing guild and in charge of the docks, I have married couple who basically tag-team the entire Merchant’s guild and treat them like they’re their kids instead of their peers, um, what else, what else,” I tap my lip gently, thinking of the rest of the run-down, “The silkworms are still dormant for some reason, but the Crafting guild keep telling me that they’ll take care of that, but I’m worried that it’s one of the seals malfunctioning. Um. About half of the island is farmland, so if you see kids chasing a duck or a goose, that’s normal, but if you see a cow or a horse loose, please come get me, that means a fence is broken. Most of the families who farm also have members who are fishermen, so if you see fishermen exchanging eggs or poultry or - kami, help me - another cow , then please don’t assume they’re smuggling them, they’re just trading them to increase their DNA pool .”

I sigh tiredly, settling into the chair behind my desk.

“ Kami , that reminds me, I have to find a vet. Fuck , I should’ve done that while I was in the Capitol yesterday, dammit .” I grumble, everyone settles into various chairs and couches around the room, with Nagato settling next to me with a pen and paper already on his fold-out desk. “ Nagato , cousin, please -”

“Draft a letter to the veterinarian’s guild in the Capitals of Land of Fire, Land of Lightning, and Land of Water? Already on it, Narue.” He tells me cheerfully, true to his word, already scribbling down something respectful and elegant no down.

“ Thank you. ” I tell him stressfully, “I also need to find someone permanent to start teaching at the Academy. As much as I’d like to turn it into a Shinobi Academy, we need multiple options, so Zabuza-”

Multiple people choke.

“- can’t teach there .” I finish firmly, giving them a disappointed stare across my desk, they all breathe a sigh of relief. “I don’t know whether to be disappointed in you all or offended - the man trained Haku and look what he can do!”

“He’s also known as a Demon - and for pretty good reason .” Kisame points out,

“Says the Tailless Tailed Beast .” I point out, Kurama chokes and lets out a noise like he’s dying , almost falling out of his chair as he lets out a cackle like a witch. “Very public-appropriate, aniki, very elegant. Bravo. ”

“ They call you - * Snort * - what ? ” Kurama wheezes, twisting in a very unnatural way to face Kisame, Iruka grabs him and quickly shows him how to twist as his tan cheeks turn slightly green. Everyone else also looks slightly green and somewhat put-out.

“Kurama, please, some self-control.” I ask, but he continues to wheeze, I roll my eyes as I begin taking out papers and pens.

After a few hours of chatting, laughing, and tea, people slowly trailed out to leave just me and Itachi. I clean my papers off my desk easily, pulling out the files needed for this conversation, and gently stand up and walk over to him.

“The only stand-out is the Land of Fire.” I place the files in Itachi’s lap gently, “The others are on board.”

“They are ?” His voice cracks,

“The amount of evidence we gathered against Danzo Shimura over the years was irrefutable to them. I’m assuming that the Daimyo of Fire is being paid by Danzo or is a personal friend.” I sigh heavily, leaning against his shoulder, “Personally, I can’t decide which is the more sickening of those two.”

“It doesn’t matter, then.” Itachi says, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, “A-All we need to do is get him out of the Land of Fire and-”

“ No. ” I state softly, firmly , gently looking up at Itachi, “Itachi, you are one of two people I trust. Danzo Shimura hurt you, and he hurt you badly . I want to send a message to him, and to everyone he ever worked with - that when you commit this much evil, that when you cause this much pain , this much suffering , there will never be someplace safe for you. ”

Itachi chokes up, spilling the files on the floor as he collapses on me, slightly sideways, but I catch him anyways, and he cries . He sobs on me, tears and blood streaming down his face like rivers as he wraps around me weakly, desperately - and something cold and hard and dark rises in my chest and stomach.

It used to hurt.

Screaming used to help.

Now? Now the only thing that helps is pain.

And it is not going to be my pain, not ever again.

“Itachi, I’m going to press the Daimyo as far as I can.” I tell him quietly, wrapping him up tightly, squeezing him into me protectively. “But it will take a while, okay? I will make this happen. For you. ”

“ Thank you. ” He chokes out, squeezing me, hands scrambling weakly at my back, “ Thank you so much, Narue. ”

Iruka Umino’s POV

Narue is already doing paperwork when I get up.

She is also doing paperwork when I go to bed.

Same for the third day I’m there.

And the fourth.

The fifth too.

I manage to tolerate that cycle for about a week before I crack and go to the hospital and ask the boy named Haku about it.

“Oh, yeah, no one knows when she sleeps or even if she sleeps.” Haku admits, changing Itachi’s IV bag calmly, Itachi pauses while reading a magazine, and I raise an eyebrow at him. “A couple books in the library mention that some of the more powerful Uzumaki clan members can go up to a month without needing sleep due to their chakra reserves, but because she has Sage training, no one’s really brave enough to ask when she sleeps or if she ever does.”

“You’re a doctor .” I point out skeptically,

“I also have these really cool things called self-preservation instincts . You should try them sometime.” Haku snarks back, I hear a muffled snort from behind me, and turn-

( Holy shit! )

I stare up, the Demon of the Mist stares down, eyes twinkling dully at me with amusement.

“ What the fuck?! ” Itachi and I chorus quietly,

“Yeah, I’m person-sized -”

(“ Yeah, I’m person-sized - ”)

Zabuza goes down just as hard as Mizuki used to, although my knuckles hurt a lot more than they used to. I think I broke a knuckle.

“ Oh shit, not Mizuki- ” I panic, Zabuza makes a quiet wheezing, breathless noise, Haku openly cackles behind me, and there’s a highly entertained snort from the door. I look up-

“ Kurama Uzumaki, what did you do!? ” I shout, staring at the matching bloody noses with horror,

“It was me actually.” Narue states calmly, “Apparently, my injuries carry over through the seal, though, so Kurama has a matching bloody nose.”

“I just want to know how this happened .” Kurama grumbles, holding his nose with a grimance, “This feels like it got crushed -”

“My ribs feel like they got crushed .” Zabuza grumbles, “ How the fuck did Haku survive you? ”

“I didn’t want to kill him.” Kurama deadpans, I roll my eyes at him, and kneel down to help the poor man up. “ Narue, you answer me, what happened to your nose?! ”

Zabuza has three cracked ribs. I broke four knuckles. Kurama and Narue actually have broken noses and cracked cheekbones .

“And you want me to believe a kid did this to you?” Haku hums thoughtfully,

“He was stuck up a tree, I didn’t think it could hold my weight, so I told him to jump and I would catch him. Well ,” Narue sighs, “ I caught him. ”

“You do realize you could’ve snapped your neck if he landed with his weight on your head-”

“It was only his head that smacked my face.” Narue dismisses, waving her hand easily, I share a look with Kurama over her head, “He didn’t have a concussion, surprisingly enough, but he did have a pretty good knot, so I healed that up, but I couldn’t focus on myself enough through the yelling about ‘ get to Haku ’ and ‘ oh my kami, there’s so much blood ’ so I let their parents drag me here and wound up meeting Kurama in the waiting room.”

“ Narue ,” Haku sighs heavily, gently touching her black eye with a Iryojutsu-cloaked hand, the swelling immediately starts to go down faster . “I know you prioritize other people over yourself-”

“It’s my job , Haku.”

“And who gave it to you?” Narue goes silent, letting Haku treat her quietly, but as I watch I can see her blink away tears.

It feels like I’m letting her run away all over again.

???’s POV

The girl - she refuses to give me her name, but she bares the markings of a Jinchuuriki - stands in front of my cell as I wake up.

“Child?” I ask her gently, looking at the way her eyes shine in the half-dark, the way the shadows cling to her like cloth. “... girl? ”

“You know everything about this planet, right?” Her voice is strangely tight, and cracks slightly, wavering like a frail candle-flame. I narrow my eyes as I stare at her. “W- what can you tell me about… loving yourself ?”

( “The only person on this planet who you love is yourself , Mother!” )

It feels like someone stuck a knife in my back.

“You…you what? ” It’s hard to breathe, hard to think. These walls haven’t felt so cloying, so small in years -

“People keep saying I’m on a suicide mission.” Her voice is hoarse and tight, she sounds like she’s choking, “They think I hate myself, that I’d rather die than keep on living, but that’s not true. I have things to do. Missions that need to be finished, enemies that need to die. Just because I want other people…people who have families , people who are loved to live in comfort, to live in peace and happiness , doesn’t mean I want to die… right ? ”

( Please, just set me on fire next time. It would hurt less. )

I stare at her. At this slip of a girl, not yet a woman. Not married, no children, an orphan , and it feels like someone decided to play the cruelest of cruel pranks.

After all, with the darkness surrounding her, she looks so much like I did, all those years ago. The only thing that lets me know what she looks like is memory .

“You… child , oh kami, child. ” I push myself into a sitting position, the chain around me rattling and clanking ominously as I do. “Life is more than a series of missions , life is…oh, child ,”

My eyes burn.

( How long has it been? How long has it been since I told the truth? Oh, kami, oh, Tengi, please, I don’t want this poor girl to think I’m lying, but if she can’t verify what I’m talking about, then she will. I know her that well. I want to tell her, but if she can’t verify it, she won’t believe me. Oh, Tengi, please, let our letters be out there somewhere! )

“ Child ,” My voice cracks this time, “ Do you want to hear a story? ”

“Why would a story help?” Her voice shakes almost as much as mine, but she settles into seiza outside the bars, I crawl as close to her as I can, and begin.

“Once, long ago, in a dimension not far from here, a little girl name Kaguya Ootsuki was born,” I gently wipe the corners of my eyes, she sniffles a little, “Her parents loved her very much, but they were very low-born in the clan, and they was a certain ritual their clan followed. It doomed their family from the start, you see.”

The child apparently built my cage well enough to be able to climb in and out of it herself without releasing me, because she wound up getting sleepy, and crawled into my lap to doze while listening to me.

I dragged my fingers through her tangled blonde mane, and wondered if she believed me.

I wondered if she understood why I grew afraid of my sons, why I tried so desperately to control them.

I wonder if she believes that I truly regret hurting them.

I wonder if she knows they’ve both visited me, from beyond the Veil, and told me she is one of the few people they hold hope for.

And as she lets out tiny, purr-like snores in my lap, I wonder if she knows that I’ve seen the outside of my cage, that I know she’s trying to prevent a war before it starts. That she’s desperately trying to protect her recently-rebuilt empire from Zetsu , of all people.

Someone I should be able to contact no matter what, someone who should know to side with her, to trust her, to help her!

As I look down at her, my hands tangled in her hair, I feel tears rise to my eyes, because she has dark circles and drawn cheeks, because her genjutsu has fallen in her exhausted state, because she feels safe with someone feared by her own children , because she should fear me, but here she is purring and napping on my lap !

“ Oh, kami, child, ” I whisper hoarsely, “ How close is the Shinigami to taking you? ”

I swear, I feel echoed laughter tickling my spine.

Once she’s slept her fill, she tries to leave, but I drag her back and insist on doing her hair.

( It’s like she just leaves it down ! She hasn’t even brushed it! I can understand leaving it loose - there are men who find that attractive and you want a partner who agrees with you - but for Kami’s sake! )

I manage to finger-brush it into something presentable, then give her a loose braid, using a small amount of loose ribbon off my own dress to tie off the end of it.

“ Huh . How’d you know I like blue?” She questions, eyeing it suspiciously,

“I didn’t, but-”

“ NARUE! ” A loud howl shakes the walls, “ WE HAVE A PROBLEM! NARUE-! ”

She vanishes.

“-...good to know for next time.” I sigh, staring at the empty space where she was . “Until next time, child.”

Chapter Text

Iruka Umino’s POV

“ Well ,” Narue states, staring out at the whirlpools with mild horror and intense fascination, “That was fast .”

“Narue,” I state weakly, staring into the frothing red water with intense fear, “I don’t think those are shinobi in there.”

She blinks quietly as she faces me.

I look at her with fear and concern, pleading silently as I grab her sleeve softly. “ Narue , those are children in there-

BOOM

Chakra, light, emotions explode from her like a shockwave. Chains unravel faster than lightning , plunging into the water and pulling people out by the hundreds . It takes maybe five minutes for Narue - and Narue only - to fish out over a third of Konoha’s Shinobi and half of it’s civilians. They’re left panting for air, some of them dry-heaving, still drenched on the docks and on the rocky, pebbled shore as Tsunade, Shizune, and Jiraiya stare at Narue like she grew a second head.

I’m a little more concerned by the shade of green-gray her face is turning and the sudden swaying she’s doing. I gently place a hand under her arm, and she grabs my elbow, just a touch too tight for comfort - but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Captain Furukawa,” Narue calls, a small glow flaring under her mouth, “I need your assistance in the port, please.”

A small trickle of blood comes from her nose.

The green glow retreats.

“ There , lass, that should do ye’ nicely.” The tall, broad-chested, heavily-tanned, salt-and-pepper man with hair to his hips rumbles at Narue, I try to not ogle his milky eyes too much.

But don’t captains need eyes to direct their ships?

Don’t captains need eyes to chart their courses on maps?

Don’t captains -

I’m staring.

I force myself to look away as Captain Furukawa runs his fingers through the top of Narue’s hair gently, soothingly, and she drops some of the tension in her shoulders with a grateful sigh.

“Thank you, Captain, I didn’t think I could make it to Haku.” Narue tells him gently, he chuckles softly at her, leaning back against the loading dock easily as he pats her shoulder.

“Anything to make it easier on you, lassie.” He kisses the top of her head softly, Narue smiles softly, her face losing some of the tightness that always seems to be there. “You protect the island, protect us - it’s only fair we help you when we can.”

“And I thank you for it.” Narue takes one of his hand and gives it a small squeeze as he stands up, “I hope I didn’t take you too far out of your way-”

“ Ha! As if I didn’t need to come over here and greet the new people anyway!” Captain Furukawa gives her a wink before stretching a hand out to the boy who escorted him, “ Alrighty , boys, why don’t we help out our Kage, eh ? Jin, go fetch Nagato and his attendants! Ryu, have your paper with you? Start taking names, then organizing them by clan and family! Twins-”

“Narue,” I kneel down next to her as she leans back into Captain Furukawa’s leg, she makes a humming noise but keeps her eyes softly shut, “What happened with your head back there? Why… what’s wrong? ”

I lower my voice further as I notice Kakashi snap his head around and damn-near pirouette to face us. She lets out a soft snort, even as I hear a low roar nearby - a gut instinct in the back of my head says that it’s Kurama roaring, but I don’t move.

“A few months after the incident with Mizuki, I suffered a perforating head wound.” Narue murmurs to me lowly, I inhale sharply, shutting my eyes tightly, “It wasn’t too bad, healed nice and quick, but I now, I, um, I developed a, ah… How do I put this? A-a limit ? That-that’s the closest I can think to put it.”

“What kind of limit ?” I exhale tightly, lowly, Kurama’s protective rage washes over us like an angry thunderhead, the pressure rising like a monsoon. Narue hesitates.

“If I…if I do too many jutsu at one time ,” She licks her lips, then pauses, touching her upper lip, where the blood trail from her nose has dried and crusted, “Well, ah , the, er, the wound gets, gets re opened a-a little bit.”

Kurama skids to a stop on the other side of her, tails lashing, ears flat against his skull, claws digging into the pier, and fangs bared in rage and fear before he pounces on both of us.

“ KURA-NII! ” Narue shrieks in surprise,

“ KURAMA, YOUR NAILS! ” I yowl angrily, he ignores both of us, wrapping us in a protective fluffy ball with his tail, and letting out an infuriated snarl at someone. “ KURAMA UZUMAKI! ”

“Dude…” Comes a small, distant snicker from outside the ball, “You do realize that she could just flatten this island if she wanted to, right?”

“ I don’t care - she’s my cub before any of that! ”

“You’re sure ?” Itachi asks, his face pale, Narue and Kisame both grab his hands, and he closes his eyes tightly as he takes a deep breath. “ I-I apologize, f-for interrupting, Lady Hokage.”

“It’s…alright, Itachi,” The rest of the room stares at him as Tsunade gently leans forward in her seat, “Why are you so… nervous -?”

“Try terrified for size.” Kisame says dryly, Jiraiya raises an eyebrow, “What you described isn’t a person, isn’t even alive as far as we’re aware - and you said there were how many? ”

“Does it matter?” Narue hums thoughtfully, “Without the Elemental Nations joined together, it’s only us and Ame-”

“Since when ?” Nagato asks dryly, Narue gives him a spooked look, “What did you think I meant when I said we were coming with?”

“ That you were coming as a diplomatic envoy! As diplomatic assistance! ” She squawks, Itachi barks a laugh, Kisame covers his face and I hope his shoulders are shaking from laughter (not tears.) Konan and Yahiko both snicker loudly, and Yahiko buried his face in the bluenette’s shoulder as he wheezes.

Narue sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Okay, Uzushio alone-”

“ No. ” Jiraiya and Tsunade argue back at her,

“Uzushio and Konoha will fight them! They took our home , Lady Uzukage.” Tsunade snarls, “I don’t care what they are, what they aren’t , they will pay-!”

“What they might be is related to the Sage of Six Paths. ” Narue rumbles dangerously in her chest, the room goes deathly quiet, everyone turns their wide eyes to her, and Kurama gently settles down next to her on the arm of the couch. “The black side of Zetsu is a separate entity from the white - that much is rock solid knowledge, the only truth we know - we do not know what the white side is made of, but it is human in origin, and the Sage was half -human.”

“How do you know that?” Kurama questions quietly, tilting his head to her softly, Narue smirks darkly, her fangs glittering as she tilts her head just right and the sun catches her face. “Narue… what did you do? ”

“The kami told me how to barter with someone old enough to solve this mess.” Her words were weighed with both confidence and… hesitance ? Nervousness ? “So I chained her to the island with enough failsafes that she will die or be killed should she ever attempt to escape.”

“Should we ask what the difference is?” Kisame asks softly, gently wrapping an arm around Itachi’s ribs, pulling him away from her - like she hasn’t shown trust or care or-

Flames of rage burn under my skin and I stride forward, missing her answer completely as I flop down between Itachi and Narue and slinging an arm around her shoulders, tugging her into my side tightly .

“If they're old enough to know the Sage was half-human, then wouldn’t they know how to defeat this ‘ Zetsu ’ creature?” I ask Narue, she blinks up at me in surprise, Kurama snickers quietly into his hand-

“ FUCK, WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!? ”

Kaguya Otsutsuki’s POV

I blink at Narue in surprise, then I look up slightly-

“ Oh! You’re part of my Ten-Tails!” I clap my hands together, smiling at the creature - ( Why does it look human? Wouldn’t that limit its chakra? Wouldn’t that hurt it? Oh, wait, I should probably ask their gender before I jump immediately on ‘it/it’s’! ) - and the redheaded person blanches slightly, “Did Hamura or Hagoromo do that to you? Do you remember? I know a thousand years is probably a long time, but-”

“ A-aren’t you, uh, supposed to - I don’t know - hate us ? ” They ask me meekly, gripping Narue’s shoulders tightly, pulling her back from me warily - her chains let this, unfurling easily as her lips twitch amusedly - and I blanch at them.

“ What?! ” I squawk, blinking at them, I turn to Narue, “ Why would I hate them? What’s happened? Who said that - ”

“No idea. I’m sixteen.” Narue deadpans, I cover my mouth in horror, she grins crookedly, tiny fangs poking out at the corners of her mouth. “Otsutsuki-san, can we settle why you don’t hate your grandchildren later ? We have an emergency occurring.”

“ O-of course .” I squeak slightly, but it feels like someone’s torn out my stomach, or injected ice in my veins instead of blood. The Earth under my feet seems to have tilted on it’s axis certainly. “What’s wrong? How can I help you, Uzukage-sama?”

“What can you tell me about the creature known as Zetsu ?”

“ -and add a little hemlock…a dash more arsenic… ” I bite my tongue slightly as I carefully measure out the ingredients for the ‘ demonstration ’ poison - how Narue supposes to ‘ demonstrate ’ my poison, I don’t know.

But she asked me for help .

“ How can you stand so close, so calmly ? ” I turn my head slightly, a person with pink hair and green eyes blink at me, a white cloth covering her nose and mouth - the woman named Tsunade stands behind her, a matching white cloth over her face and in her hand .

“I’ve been working on poisons since I was younger than you.” I admit, adding a bit more powdered aconite, “They don’t affect me the same way they do others anymore, but your concern is admirable. Thank you.”

“But do they still affect you?” The pink-haired child is still concerned, I smile slightly before I can myself, recalling how concerned Hagoromo used to-

( “-you never loved us, you never loved our father -” )

I feel the muscles in my back and arms tighten slightly, but I quickly stand up instead of letting myself cry.

“Yes.” I state simply, and hold out my hand. Tsunade hands me the cloth, and I smile at them - it feels stiff . “ Thank you , child. I…I should still practice safety…shouldn’t I?”

“... yes .” Tsunade’s voice is tight, she gently pulls the pink-haired child behind her as I tie the cloth around my head. “ For the children. ”

The pink-haired child looks offended for a moment, but as the door opens, we all turn to Narue and a woman named Shizune , who pauses upon seeing us. Then Narue hands Shizune the papers in her hands and sweeps towards me quietly.

“ What was it this time, Kaguya? ” Narue murmurs to me quietly, taking my hands in hers carefully, I blink down at her with my stiff-feeling smile and feel my eyes burn harshly.

Then there’s a gentle prod against my mind, as if someone is asking for an invitation.

I drop my forehead against hers instead of anything, leaning my full weight against her.

I inhale deeply not a moment later, opening my eyes as if in a harsh blink, and Narue looks into my eyes with a soft stare.

“It’s okay , Kaguya, you handled it beautifully -”

“You are far too young to try and reassure me like that.” I laugh at her quietly, quickly dragging her into a small hug, she lets out a startled yelp, “ Child , you were just inside my head. You could at least detect the size of my memories, right ? Do you know how old that makes me?”

“ No , I’m not a Yamanka, I don’t get that kind of training.” Comes the muffled mumble, I blink, easing up my grip on her so I can look down at her face. “I’m not even supposed to know how to get inside your head.”

She looks like a kitten that just got woken up, and I feel myself melt as I stare at her.

“ Please stop making that face.”

“Absolutely not . Do you even know how cute you look right now?” There is a lot of muffled giggling from Tsunade, Shizune, and the unintroduced pink-haired child.

Chapter Text

Sasuke Uchiha’s POV

( “-Queen of Uzushiogakure-” )

It drives me insane.

( “-Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko-” )

She was nothing but a no-good, Deadlast !

( “-the next Senju Tobirama!” )

She is nothing.

I wait until she’s alone in her office, making sure that my chakra and my killing intent are stifled - silenced - and she calmly putters around . Like some old lady, like she deserves this , like after everything we went through together-

( No, I am not going to think about that. )

I slide silently into the rafters through the giant skylight in the ceiling, then I quietly-

“It’s rude to stalk people after hours, Uchiha-kun.” Narue deadpans, not looking up from her papers, I almost slip off the bookshelf. A hand made of golden chakra grabs me - holds me up - and Narue calmly drinks tea as I freeze in place. “Don’t you have better things to be doing right now?”

( Why does she sound annoyed ? )

“ You- ”

“ Ah, yes. ” She drawls, “ Accusations of embarrassment and humiliation. How could I forget - with your ego as big as it is. ”

( -violence violence violence- )

“ Katon- ”

“Really? We’re doing this? ” She doesn’t even form hand signs , simply waving her right hand to form a Water Wall that blocks my Grand Fireball as easily as breathing .

I blink, she sighs tiredly, placing her chin in her hand as she stares at me tiredly .

“Sasuke, could you - for once - be humble ?” She drawls, my rage downright balloons , “ Of course not- ”

Our fight lasts twelve hours , but the room doesn’t show that. Narue doesn’t show that.

I am the only thing that even hints at a fight having taken place.

“Do I want to know what level of stupid he’s being?” Aniki sounds wildly entertained , and I snarl as much as I can after being kicked as hard as she kicked me - ( How can she fucking kick so hard? She goddamn tiny ! ) - “Here’s the report you wanted.”

“ Thank you , Itachi, always so timely.” Narue almost coos at him, “If you’d like to play babysitter-”

“We both know he would try to kill me - and I’d let him. ” Aniki deadpans, Narue sighs heavily, “Kakashi, maybe?”

“Already asked.” Aniki snorts, I scowl at the ceiling - and for one peaceful moment, there is silence (minus my panting, god , I hate being winded) but-

“Do you think Sakura-”

“ No! ” I snarl, still heaving for air, but almost shouting in my desperation. Aniki laughs this time, then clamps a hand over his mouth swiftly, and Narue gives him a dirty look.

“Alright then, smartass,” She straightens her papers with some gentle taps against her desk as I collapse back down on the floor. “ Stop moving! Do you know how long it’s going to take me to get ash out of that? ”

“ Serves you right! ”

“ You started this, and you know it! ”

“ You ruined my chance at vengeance! ”

“ By doing what , exactly?! Revealing the motivations for your brother's actions? Smacking morals and common sense into both of you!? Or because I bruised your ego ? ” She glowers at me, I glare back, and Aniki fucking snickers.

“I don’t know what happened here, and quite frankly I’m afraid to ask - but if you are attempting to get Itachi to play babysitter, I know it’s bad .” Kisame deadpans from the doorway, Itachi leans over, still giggling, and Kisame hands him the report he was holding. “ Thank you . It feels like I’m at the edge of No Man’s Land .”

“What are you - Oh, for fuck’s sake! ” Iruka-sensei steps around the corner, stops dead in his tracks in the middle of the hall, and places his hands on his hips. “ What did you do to him, Narue!? ”

“I love the fact that Itachi is in there too, has made attempts on his life before, but you still know it was Narue. ” Kisame snickers, but looks afraid, “Later Boss.”

He waves at Narue, who raises an eyebrow coolly but waves back.

Itachi leans over to her and whispers something.

“ Nah , closer to three to five.” Narue deadpans, Iruka-sensei scowls at them both,

“ What are you two plotting over there? ”

“We’re betting .” Itachi gives Iruka-sensei his most charming smile - the one he used to use to get me extra mochi or get us out of our grounding early at Grandma’s house. “And, I’m sorry, Narue, but there is no way Kisame is going to notice sooner than five minutes. He’s going to be too busy looking for Samehada.”

“The sword-”

“ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!? ”

“ AH- ”

“ THAT IS NOT THE REASON I TAUGHT YOU THAT JUTSU, YOU LITTLE SHIT! ”

“ Oh hey , an extra pissed-off semi-adult-” Itachi almost shrieks with laughter, crumpling to the floor as Iruka almost gets run over by- “ Hello , Konohamaru.”

“ Save me, Uzukage-san! ” He begs, crying big fat tears and cowering behind her, Narue sighs heavily as a very pissed-off Kisame and downright enraged Kurama slide to a stop in front of the door. “ They’re being mean for no reason- ”

“ Oh, there’s a fucking reason! ” Kisame snarls, Kurama turns slightly pink but nods furiously too. Iruka-sensei raises an eyebrow at Kurama, and Narue calmly drinks her tea before sliding open the scroll Konohamaru turned in.

“ Well , he didn’t open this, taper with it, or mess with the seals in any way.” Narue deadpans, “Unless you’re pissed about the incredibly accurate transformation Jutsu he performed, I’d say that you’re scaring him for no reason. You’re both in the wrong and need to apologize to each other.”

I stare at her wide-eyed.

“... shit , you’ve got a point.” Kisame mumbles, I whip around and watch him calm down. “ Y’know sometimes, you can be a real pain in the ass, Uzukage-sama. ”

“ I heard that~ ” Narue sing-songs at him, then she spins her chair around and shows Konohamaru clinging to the back of it. “ Now ! Apology time, the both of you! ”

“ But- ”

“Konohamaru, I will bring your mother into this.”

“ I’m sorry for stealing your important scroll Kisame-san! ” Konohamaru yelps, scrambling madly off Narue’s chair and bowing to Kisame deeply. “ Please don’t tell my Mom! Or my Uncle Asuma… ”

He looks nervously toward Iruka-sensei, who looks both wildly amused and incredibly irritated.

“ Please? ”

“There are days that you’re lucky your mom loves you, brat, ” Iruka-sensei states, Kisame snorts but bows back to Konohamaru.

“I’m sorry for scaring ya’ kid.” He smirks a little, “But I make no promises -”

“ I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry- ” He latches onto Kisame desperately , almost tackling the poor man out of the office, and the poor man yelps as he stumbles down a few stairs.

“ Oh shit! ”

“ Kisame! ” Kurama and Itachi quickly leap into action as Iruka-sensei watches in amusement. Once all of them are out of the room, he closes the door.

“Alright, now that the children and on-lookers are out of the room-”

The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and Narue puts the paper down as she looks at him out of the corner of her eye suspiciously.

“ This was a terrible idea- ”

“ Please shut up. ”

“ -how could Iruka ever think this could work? ”

“ Uchiha-kun, for the love of everything holy- ”

“ I mean, seriously , I wouldn’t trust you to take care of a pet rock - ”

Narue inhales deeply, but - surprisingly - she does not drop me.

“ Narue? ” A voice calls from the changing rooms, “ Narue ? ”

“ I’m in the onsen, Kaguya, give me a moment! ” Narue calls, I feel the water touch my butt, and I huff at her.

“ This is a terrible- ”

“ Your insults are as lame as you . ” Narue hisses between her teeth, her eyes flashing red, “ So either make new ones or shut up. ”

I blanch in surprise.

She sets me down on one of the seats, the water coming up to my breastbones, the towel she set out while we were changing is soft and feels a lot like a pillow under my head.

“ Oh! This is a surprise.” The voice - she called them ‘ Kaguya ’ right? - comes around the corner, and claps their hands in delight.

( Isn’t that the one Narue said is the mother of the Sage of Six Paths? What does she want with Narue? )

“Kaguya?” Narue asks questioningly,

“ No, no! It can wait! Have fun on your date!” Kaguya runs back through the changing room as Narue goes stiff, and I swear the planet stops spinning.

( WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY!? )

“ THIS ISN’T A DATE! ” We scream in sync, I hear distant laughter from her, and it feels ominous.

“ Is it helping? ” Narue asks quietly, from the other side of the rotenburo, I growl before I can help it, glaring at her-

Her eyes flash red.

“ Yes, ” I answer, fear turning my blood to ice in my veins. “ The water is helping. ”

She lets out a satisfied hum and sinks to her ears in the water. I blink at her, watching her hair as it drags against the ground.

( Won’t it get dirty like that? Why hasn’t she tied it up yet? Kaa-san and Itachi used to tie their hair up before ever stepping foot into the rotenburo! Sometimes they even made me and Oto-san wear headbands or hair clips to keep our bangs out of the way… )

“ What are you thinking about? ” Narue asks, suspicious and accusing and exhausted ,

“ Why haven’t you tied your hair up yet? ” I deadpan, she opens one eye lazily, “ It’s going to get dirty, laying on the floor like that- ”

“ Do you think I carry hair ties with me all the time? Wherever I go? I have more important things to worry about than my hair , Uchiha-kun. ” She deadpans, but she sounds hesitant, and…something else.

Not quite curious , but close.

( Why should I care if she pays attention to herself or not? She just kicked my ass for twelve hours straight. She has humiliated me twice in a row! I hate her. I hate her! I hate her! I- I hate her ! )

“ Whatever, it was just a question, ” I grumble, relaxing back against the towel.

“ Otouto, ” Knuckles gently brush against my cheek, my eyes snap open, but everything is heavy and sore , and someone else groans softly as I gasp in pain. “ Oh , you were asleep , asleep-”

“ Shut up! ” I snap at Aniki, but he snickers, “ Why the hell does everything hurt !? ”

“ Kura-nii, I don’t want to get up- ”

“ Come on, Cub, don’t do this to me, ” Kurama mutters, almost begging , but as I look over-

( Oh yeah. )

( OH. )

I feel heat crawl onto my face as I stare at Narue. Aniki snickers as Kurama pokes her cheek, but she turns her face away from him, looking soft and sweet and sleepy and-

( We’re still in the rotenburo, fuck fuck fuck, we’re still in the rotenburo, DON’T LOOK BELOW HER SHOULDERS! )

The heat in my face reaches a boiling point.

“ Aniki- ”

“ I know you can’t walk, but you always looked so cute when you were embarrassed- ”

“ I know where you sleep, and how to leave you alive. ” I snarl murderously, across the water, Narue shifts in her sleep, her plump lips forming a frown and-

Aniki grabs my shoulder and suddenly I’m in Haku’s office.

“ Thank Amaterasu- ”

“Careful, you’ll make it sound like you don’t remember me.” Haku deadpans, I glare at him, “ Now , is this a blush, or is this from four hours of sleep in the rotenburo?”

“Wait, what?! ”

“Yeah, when Narue sleeps, she sleeps . ” Haku deadpans, “It seems you got ditched in the crossfire of her hibernation.”

Aniki snorts, I gawk.

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

I wake up to a blast of cold water against my face.

I shriek like I’m a child again, and everyone in the room winces.

“ What the fuck!? ”

“You’ve been asleep for twenty-seven hours, ” Iruka-sensei states stressfully,

“I knew you needed more sleep as a child, but this is concerning. ” Kurama - who is holding the showerhead, the traitorous bitch - deadpans, staring at me heavily.

“I’ve treated the burns, the chakra exhaustion, and-”

“ WHAT!? ” Everyone else yells at Haku,

“ Sasuke’s chakra exhaustion,” Haku clarifies, they all take a sigh of relief, “And until they dragged me in here, I was making fantastic progress with the S-ranked project you assigned me. I was getting to the what size of person needs what dose part, even! Fucking traitor… ”

Haku glares at Zabuza, and I let out a weak snicker, crouched and shivering in the corner of my own damn shower. Zabuza gestures to me exasperatedly, and Haku sighs defeatedly.

“Narue, you know that you need to sleep regularly, right? Even thou-”

“She doesn’t actually.” Kurama and Kaguya deadpan, Haku opens his mouth to argue, then pauses, they stare at him, looking a mixture of amused and annoyed.

“ Okay, but when does she need to sleep? ” Iruka-sensei butts up, sounding fed-up and stressed, “ If anything else, this proves she still needs it! ”

“Oh, she still needs sleep, don’t doubt that.” Kaguya states firmly, “But she doesn’t need to sleep every day , like you all do!”

“I’m pretty sure that her natural sleep cycle is closer to every three days or possibly four, once it’s back to her normal.” Kurama suggests, “But then, it’d be twelve to fourteen hours, because of her chakra reserves and her age.”

“Oh yes , her age needs to be accounted for! Why do I keep thinking she already a hundred? ” Kaguya sounds stressed out instantly , “I’d say it’d be closer to-”

“She’s fully human, Obaa-san.” Kurama deadpans, Kaguya pauses,

“ ...right. ” She hesitates, placing a fist against her cheek as she thinks, “ Ah , how much did my boys sleep at her age? Ah …”

“Let’s just go with Kurama’s estimates for now, Kaguya-san.” Iruka-sensei places a hand on her shoulder. She nods quietly but frowns.

“ C’mon , Narue, let’s get you in pajamas.” Konan leans in, offering me both her hands, and I grab them weakly.

She puts them on her shoulders before grabbing me by my waist.

Chapter Text

Sakura Haruno’s POV

“ You’re kidding! ” Ino’s jaw drops , and I smirk triumphantly, “ There’s no freaking way Narue can use my clan’s specialty- ”

“ Actually ,” Her father hums behind, and we both jump before turning to him, “Narue was quite clever as a child. If she saw you or me use it enough times, I have no doubt she could learn it.”

“ Yet again , you overestimate that thing’s intelligence, Inoichi.” Choji’s father scoffs loudly, and Choji grits his teeth, scowling harshly. “I’d be surprised if-”

“ Get out. ” The owner of the ramen stand places the ‘ Right to refuse service ’ sign down over Choza’s ramen bowl. We all go still.

“ But- ”

“Get. Out.” She scowls at him, her expression filled with so much wrath I blanch, and I notice that every single Uzushio resident is also glaring at Choza. “Now.”

“ Yes ma’am. ” Choza gets off his seat, bows to her, and leaves. Choji moves to do the same-

“You may stay, young man.” The owner waves a hand at Choji, and we all blink at her owlishly. “Our Queen speaks highly about the kindness you gave her as a child. She may not trust you anymore - not anyone in Konoha - but she still calls you a friend .”

“ N-Narue…still? ” Choji looks ready to cry ,

“ Of course! ” The owner smiles at him, “You, of all people, know how chakra reserves affect appetite - and you gave her food. One of the first laws she ever wrote made sure that the orphanage has food first so that children like her never go hungry. She calls it ‘ The Last Chip Law ’ and says you came up with it as a kid.”

We all start crying, tears trickling down silently.

( When did she leave? How much do I need to apologize for? Can I even apologize for it all? Is there even a way to apologize for what I’ve done to her? )

“ Thank you for telling me this, Chika-san, ” Choji tells her softly, settling down in his seat as the owner - Chika-san - takes Choza’s bowl away.

“ Of course! Our Queen, our Kage, she protects us.” Chika-san smiles, sad and proud and happy, and why? Why is she so conflicted over Narue?! “It’s only fair that we help her when we can!”

“Hey, Narue?”

“Yes, Haruno-kun? Oh , hey Yamanka-kun!” Narue turns slightly, smiles at us, then turns back to the table full of maps that she’s consulting with Kaguya, Haku, and Tsunade. “I think the final one should be distributed here . There’s a lot of pathways, yes, but also lots of underground movement .”

“Can’t we just put it in the wells?” Haku points somewhere, and I share a look with Ino.

“No, no, people would get suspicious.” Tsunade sighs, “And if you’re right -”

“If I’m right, we need to have started on this yesterday , Senju-hime.” Narue deadpans, “Haruno-kun, Yamanka-kun, is there something you need ?”

“ W-when , uh,” I share another look with Ino, and we shuffle together nervously, Tsunade looks over at us and gives us an approving smile. “ When did you, well , ah , run away , er, from Konoha? ”

Narue pauses, still bent over the map, but there’s suddenly a pressure in the room.

It’s so hard to breathe.

“May I ask what caused this abrupt question?” Narue asks, her voice soft and low, she looks over her shoulder, and her eye is golden .

My insides are cold, so, so cold.

“ We were at this ramen stand is all- ” Ino grips my hand hard enough to bruise , her nails sinking into my skin like knives .

“ Ah. ” The pressure lifts, “I heard about that.”

( It’s been less than an hour! Forty-five minutes, maybe, fifty at most! )

“I was eight years old.”

The world stops spinning.

Tsunade drops the tsutsu-gata of tea she was holding, her jaw dropping almost to the floor .

My insides feel like ice .

Haku’s head snaps up, staring at Narue with eyes the size of dinner plates.

My head spins like a top , like a carousel , I’m so dizzy.

Kaguya covers her mouth with one hand, placing the other on Narue’s shoulder, keeping it there even as Narue attempts to shrug it off.

“Is that all , Haruno-kun? Yamanka-kun? This is-”

“ Who was on Team Seven? ” I demand, my voice cracking harshly, Narue sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose as she turns to face me. “ Wh-who- ”

“Who did you slap through trees daily?” Narue drawls casually, pinning me with that golden stare as Tsunade raises an eyebrow at her back, then looks at me with that cold, cold expression. “Who did you scream deaf daily? Who did you call perverted, freak, leech, dead-last-”

“ I’m sorry. ” We both drop to the floor, Ino and me, side-by-side , and we bow to Narue in dogeza together . “ I’m so, so sorry. ”

She snorts.

“You think I care? I wasn’t there. Neither was Kurama, for the record.” She smirks at us as we look up, “He’s gay , you dumbasses. Why the fuck would he want to look at girls ?”

“ Well, that explains…side-eye… ” Haku mumbles something under his breath, but I can’t catch all of it. I continue to stare at Narue with teary eyes, but she’s blurry , and she doesn’t care - she just said as much.

“Kurama also knew when you were about to hit him - apparently you have some really obvious tells.” Narue continues, still in complete deadpan. “So he managed to camouflage where he was really standing using a minor Genjutsu and dodged you most of the time. What I found clever about it, was the fact that he used to dust cloud to lay down in the wreckage of whatever you supposedly threw the Genjutsu through.”

“You used to use the dust clouds as cover to sneak up behind your enemies to slit their throats.” Haku deadpans, Narue does something that tilts her head - rolls her eyes? Maybe?   - and leans back against the table. “ What? I’m just saying - it’s easy to tell that you’re related! ”

“That’s the idea.” Narue tuts, clicking her tongue harshly at us, “ Now , Haruno-kun, Yamanaka-kun, do you have any more stupid questions? Or can we get back to work?”

“ No. ” Ino murmurs,

“ No more questions, ” I state softly, Tsunade gives us a pitying look as Narue comes over, and for one moment, one golden, shining moment , I think she’s going to hug us.

“Then get out.” She grabs the edge of the door in a clear order, and we scramble out of the room. Ino clings to me, and we stare at the door.

My vision is blurry, and it’s hard to breathe.

“ I’m never going to catch up to her, am I? ” I ask Ino softly, tears starting to fall,

“ I don’t think any of us are. ” Ino whispers hoarsely, “ But do we deserve to? After everything we did to her? ”

I let out a hiccup instead of an answer, and we begin to walk away.

Kaguya and Tsunade still need all hands on deck for the Zetsu poison, but Narue comes by less frequently, and her updates get… weird .

“ West side is going well, no difficulty. ” She murmurs to Tsunade and Kaguya quietly, ignoring me and Shizune, “ South side is struggling, plan C has been enacted, but I’m moving slowly. No surprises. ”

“ Let’s keep it that way, ” Kaguya murmurs back, gently knocking on the table, “ How is Haku doing? ”

Narue looks over at us, and I hesitate to meet her eyes, but…

( What if she needs help? What if she’s in danger? What if- )

“ Everything is going according to plan. He’s on time. ” Narue murmurs,

“ Good, we need to be ready as soon as possible, ” Tsunade mutters unhappily, “ Godspeed, Uzukage-sama, godspeed . ”

“ Careful, Hokage-sama, ” Narue smirks boldly, “ You might insult my father, insinuating at my speed like that. ”

Tsunade gives her a dirty look.

Narue smiles at her and jumps out the window.

“ The South side has been cleared, progress has been finalized with both the West side and South. ” Narue comes in one morning out of breath, “ I’ve activated the Eastern front- ”

“ Ooh, that’s gonna take a while ,” Kaguya murmurs unhappily,

“ How long for the Eastern Front alone, Uzukage-sama? ” Tsunade asks, looking concerned,

“ Twenty-six, maybe thirty hours at most. ” Narue pants a little as she explains, “ Oh , tea!”

“ Ah, ah, ah! When was the last time you slept, missy?” Kaguya swipes it away from her, scolding her gently as Narue deflates in exhaustion.

“ I took that nap two days ago- ”

“ And you still need to re-adjust your sleeping schedule! ” Tsunade pushes, “ It’s going to take a while for the Eastern front anyway, go sleep. ”

“ But- ”

“ Go take a nap. ” Both women order, and she slouches off to do so.

I share a look with Shizune.

“ Narue? ” I ask weakly, she jumps a little but turns to face me easily, and gives me a baffled look before she smiles uneasily.

“Haruno-kun?”

“I, uh, I got you breakfast-” Itachi, Iruka-sensei, and Kakashi all do a spit-take with their tea, the weird-eyed redhead ( I think his name is Nagato? ) drops his teacup, and Konan drops her clipboard. “-and s-some, er, tea? I-I didn’t know what kind y-you l-liked a-and, ah- ”

“ Oh, Sage! ”

“ And I thought the fawning as bad! ”

“ Please tell me this is temporary?! Kakashi!? ”

“ For fuck’s sake, they are both still in the room! ” Konan turns to the unhappily muttering peanut gallery and snarls , Narue finally breaks free from whatever was holding her statue still, and I swear my face is going to boil off from this goddamned blush.

“ Thank you, Haruno-kun. ” Narue states, sounding completely numb and blank, but she accepts the bento and the bamboo tea canister. I immediately turn around and run away. “ Ah , Haruno-kun-?”

I think I pass Ino on the stairs, but I don’t stop running until I’m back at my family’s room in one of the hotels Konoha is allowed to stay at.

( She ran away at eight years old ! She was never a member of Team Seven, she-she never saved my life, never argued with me, we never fought side-by-side - so why do I feel so guilty ?! )

“ K-Kurama-san. ” I breathe a sigh of relief as I find him in the library, he turns and raises an eyebrow at me, “ Oh, thank the kami! ”

“I take it you need something?” Kurama turns back to the books and scrolls, pushing one back onto the shelf in what I think is just a random spot.

“ I need to apologize! ” I beg and he sighs heavily, and I wonder if he’s listening.

“I’m not going to help - wait, what? ” Kurama stops shelving, both of his ears snapping up and to attention as he turns to me. “ Excuse me !? ”

“ I talked with Naru- Uzukage-sama , and I realized how horribly I treated you and- ”

“ Take a breath, Sakura. ” Kurama suddenly sweeps me into a hug , enveloping me in warmth and softness, and holy shit, his tails are so fluffy- “ Breathe, Sakura, take a deep breath. ”

I inhale deeply, and something just breaks .

I sob .

Kurama holds me in that big, fluffy ball for nearly three hours as I sob, and sob , and sob .

If I had the energy, I would probably be embarrassed about it, but I’m so tired, I’m too tired to think right now.

“ Alright , Sakura, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong now?” Kurama’s voice is deep, deep, and soft and low and comforting .

( No wonder Narue is calmer around him. )

“ My Dad is dead, and it feels like someone ripped my heart out. My Mom cries herself to sleep every night, and I know it’s not from her leg, I-I repaired what was left myself, b-but- ” I start hiccupping uncontrollably-

( “-doesn’t have a mother or a father! No one-” )

“ Breathe , Sakura,” Kurama rubs my back, and it feels just like how Dad used to.

“ I used to make fun of her for this! I used to make fun of you for this! ” I sob, clutching onto his chest, “ How can you stand this?! H-How can you even wake up in the morning!? ”

“Sakura, do you want to hear a secret? Not even Tsunade knows it, I think.” Kurama offers, I look up at him, hiccupping, sobbing, my vision blurry as I continue to cry.

He smiles at me, genuinely and sincerely.

It hurts. It hurts so badly.

“ Yes, please. ” I agree, and I don’t care what I’m agreeing to, I just want the pain to stop.

Kurama shifts us around, pressing my ear up against his chest, I hiccup into the silence for a while. Nothing but darkness, warmth, and softness around us as Kurama uses his tails as bed, blanket, and canopy all at once.

“ I told Narue, I showed Narue, what happened between me and her parents on the night she was born. ” Kurama murmurs, I go still, then hiccup ridiculously. He chuckles warmly at me, and pets my hair. “ I showed her how someone in a mask, with one Sharingan, ripped me from her mother’s stomach, repeatedly set me on Konoha, framed the Uchiha clan as a whole for the ordeal, and then, when I finally thought I was free - when I thought, after nearly eighty years of going from one cage to another, being treated like an animal instead of a Bijuu , when I thought I could go home - her parents started to Seal me again. ”

Kurama takes a deep breath like he’s in pain , and my hands flicker with Iryo light before I can think. He chuckles at me softly, warmly .

( How can someone with kind be a monster? He’s so nice. )

“ I panicked, I was already angry, but my rage reached new levels. I…I tried to kill Narue. ” Kurama swallows harshly, I see him squeeze his eyes shut as I stare at him. I struggle for words. It doesn’t feel real , it’s doesn’t feel true . “ She was only a few hours old - she still had blood from her mother’s womb on her, and I tried to kill her. ”

“ Kurama . ” I gasp with horror, a tear drips down his face.

“ I just needed to be free. I hate that Seal, I hate being Sealed. ” He gives me a gentle squeeze, “ I regret trying to kill her, and I’m so sorry , that I’ve made her life this miserable, this sad, but I don’t regret killing her parents. ”

Something cold and heavy settles in my stomach.

I sit up, staring into Kurama’s eyes as my entire body goes cold, and he lets go of me - he even opens up a hole in his tails for me.

“ Have you said this to her? ” I ask, horrified beyond words, disgusted by his actions, but…

“ Yes. ” Tears rise to Kurama’s eyes, “ She told me she understands , and she does . ”

He takes another deep, shuddering breath, and his entire body shakes.

“ Am I a terrible person, Sakura? S-Should I- ”

“I don’t think so,” I state, and I mean it. I’m repulsed, disgusted, horrified - but he’s been a prisoner for eighty years . He got put under Genjutsu against his will, forced to fight against his will, he deserves to be angry, he has the right to hate them, to hate us . “I think you’re okay - that you deserve to be angry, to hate us all.”

He whimpers like I just slapped him, and hugs me tightly.

“ Kurama! Air! ”

Narue is slightly less suspicious of my ramen and tea with Kurama standing next to me, holding a massive take-out from a dessert company near the stall I got the ramen from.

(Teuchi-san and Ayame-kun looked so happy to help out that old couple with their stall! It was so cute!)

“Thank you, Haruno-kun.” Narue accepts the bento and canister, “Can I get an answer as to why you’re doing this or are you going to run away again?”

“ I’m sorry. ”

“I know, but why-”

“It’s part of her apology, Cub.” Kurama pinches her cheek softly, and she scowls at him, “Now, c’mon , the food’s getting cold! ”

“Thank you for breakfast, Haruno-kun. Would you like to stay?” Narue asks, but her voice is heavy with annoyance as she scowls after Kurama.

“ Would you like to stay forever!? ” Haku yells from where they’re all crowding her desk, Narue drops her shoulders and looks skyward - like she’s praying - and everyone in the room laughs as I smile nervously.

“ Please ignore them, they have no manners, ” Narue mutters,

“I would stay, but I promised my Mom that I’d be back in time for family breakfast.” I tell her, “Hope you have a good day!”

“You too - oh , hi, Yamanaka-kun! Please say this has a different reason. ” Narue mutters the last part, but I nearly bump into Ino, and I have to grab the tea so that it doesn’t spill.

“ Sorry! ” We yelp in sync.

Chapter Text

Sasuke Uchiha’s POV

Narue meets my eyes fearlessly, and Karin grabs my arm as I instinctively reach for my sword. Suigetsu snickers, but Jugo smacks him upside the head, and-

“ What the- ”

“You seem happier, Jugo-kun.” Narue looks at him and smiles , her entire face and body relaxing, and he returns the expression easily. “I take it you are well?”

“I am well, Your Highness, and I am very happy with Team Hebi. How have you been since we last met?” Jugo asks, his voice is soft and - I hardly dare to believe it! - happy!

“I’m also doing well, Uzushio is progressing well, have you explored any? I know you like animals, and there’s an area that we’re attempting to keep as an animal reserve for native wildlife so that their numbers maintain their current levels.” Narue offers Jugo her hand, “If you want, I can ask around and have an appropriate building built for you and have you be our ‘ Wildlife Conservationist ’ if you wish?”

“I…” Jugo hesitates, looking back at me, and I immediately roll my eyes,

“ For the love of Amaterasu! You adore animals, take the job, Jugo! ” I groan and kick him in the butt, he yelps loudly and staggers into Narue, who laughs as she catches him.

“ Ohmykami! I’m so sorry, Your Highness- ”

“It’s okay, Jugo, it’s fine! It’s okay! You’re okay! C’mon, I do need your opinion on the blueprints before we actually break ground on your house, okay? I mean, you’re gonna live here , now!” Narue laughs warmly, changing her grip to a hug and giving Jugo a gentle squeeze, “And I believe I made that big promise once upon a time bout a cure, yes? After we go over the blueprint, we can go talk to Haku about how your disorder works, and start working on that, okay?”

“You what !? ” Suigetsu, Karin, and I all shout, Jugo shudders and his eyes change, he steps in front of Narue, keeping her at his back-

“ Easy , Jugo ,” Narue murmurs, a golden light suddenly bursting from her, and her hands wrap around Jugo’s chest. He relaxes, changing back to normal before he can even fully change, and I feel my jaw drop. “ These are our friends, remember? We like these people. ”

“ I like these people, they are my friends, ” Jugo mutters agreeably, I share a look with Suigetsu as Jugo turns back to Narue. “Can you teach Sasuke how to do that?”

“He’s a Snake.” She state blankly, “I don’t think he can learn.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!” I snap the surprise bursting as I remember that - yes, actually - this is ‘ Naruto ’ and I do hate them. She gives me a placating smile as the glow fades away. “ No, you explain that, why can’t I learn how to do that!? ”

As Jugo and Narue pour over blueprints, medical texts, and Sealing theories, Karin and I get steadily more twitchy.

“ Is she really an Uzumaki? ” Karin asks, her patience reaching an end, “ I’ve never heard of anyone having a hair color that wasn’t red. How do we know she isn’t lying? ”

“Because her father is my son.” Lady Tsunade deadpans, “And I had to listen to him court Uzumaki Kushina for decades. ”

Karin blushes the same shade of red as her hair.

“ And that is why we don’t gossip in circular rooms, ” Kurama mutters on the other side of the room, Aniki snickers next to him, and Konan smacks both of them upside the back of the head. “ I’m right and you know it , Konan! ”

“Considering I am now elbows deep in what is looking like a generational curse, I would greatly appreciate some quiet.” Narue states blandly, Jugo groans and places his head in his hands, “ Nah , Jugo, it’s okay, you’re worth it, buddy.”

“ Why do you do this- ”

“Because I care about people - now shut up and let me care about you.” Narue states, I stare at her back as a sinking sensation settles deep in my stomach and a horrible hollow point opens up in my chest.

( Why does that feel like an ominous statement? Like something important that’s flying over all our heads? )

The fact that I catch Kaguya giving her a pitying stare also and Kurama looks like he wants to rip someone’s throat out doesn’t help.

Jugo’s house is incredibly solid, but it also is warm-colored and has lots of windows, thick tatami, a HUGE kitchen, and a MASSIVE koi pond in the backyard.

Jugo cries when he sees it, and hugs Narue so tightly her back cracks like a glowstick.

“ Please don’t break my Cub. ” Kurama gently places a hand on Jugo’s back, “ I understand ‘cuteness aggression’ is a thing, but she is easily squished- ”

“ No, she is fucking not. ” Captain Furukawa snorts loudly, “ NOW! What’s this about a new neighbor?!”

Everyone turns around, and his entire crew has brought furniture-

“And here I thought I was gonna have to let Jugo loose in the basement.” Narue wheezes slightly as she speaks, and the twins that usually flank the Captain laugh , Jugo just cries harder . “ Jugo, please, you’re making me feel like I did something wrong- ”

We all had a housewarming party and helped Jugo decorate. They even thought to bring pictures and wall hangings, so we had to go buy nails and a hammer, but Jugo gets a warm-colored home decorated with a strange mix of antique country furniture and strangely ocean-ship-sea-themed furniture.

(Why are there chairs made out of barrels? Why is there a table made out of a life preserver? Are those plates made out of shackles ?! Why are they branded with slaver markings !?)

(Narue takes one look at the dishes and states laughing so hard she goes out and sits on the engawa in a borderline-hysterical heap, Jugo is concerned about her, but the Captain and his crew just snicker about it.)

“ There’s a story that we don’t want to know, but will eventually be tortured with. ” Kurama mutters, Jugo immediately looks panicked , and Kurama and Aniki each place a hand on his back, “ She will make it sound funny and calm and child-appropriate. ”

“ She will make it sound like she wasn’t traumatized by it. ” Aniki deadpans, the entire room goes still, and the echoes of Narue’s laughter are suddenly ominous instead of reassuring , “ She will make it sound like she could brush it off back then, and is brushing it off now. She will make it sound like a joke … ”

“ How did you meet her, Uchiha-san? ” Captain Furukawa murmurs, and with those ominous echoes shaking the walls around us, his milky, unseeing stare feels… heavy . “ If you’re comfortable talking about it. ”

“I, well,” Aniki shakes a look with Kurama, then a look with Kisame, he takes a deep breath. “ She kinda saved my life. ”

Narue Uzumaki’s POV

( “Oh! I know this metal!” Captain Furukawa cries and I look over, the metal key ring heavy in my hands-

“ Oh boy… ” I mutter heavily under my breath, the twin boys I’m freeing look between me and the Captain nervously, “Here we go again with the metals…”

“There was this lovely dish set on the coast of Lightning-” I roll my eyes heavily, even as I listen to him, and the twins giggle. “They were made from Slaver Chains that had previously- ”

“ Nope. Nope. No. I’m stopping you there.” Jin swoops in like a falcon, “They don’t need to hear it, and-”

“But who had the dishes?” One of the twins whispers and I raise an eyebrow as I unlock his wrists,

“Are they like us?” Another child murmurs from the shadows,

“Don’t be stupid! Nobody like us lives long…” The other twin mutters angrily, I pause in unlocking his twin’s ankles, and I share a look with Ryu as he hovers near Captain Furukawa.

“Hey Cap, wasn’t it the Daimyo who owned those dishes?” I ask,

“Or, at least,” Ryu snickers, “Before we stole them for his gall ?”

“ Well ,” Captain Furukawa says, settling down on the floor with a bit of effort. “The Daimyo owned the dishes, sure, and we stole the dishes, that’s true - but do you want to know who made the dishes? Surely that’s more interesting than merely stealing them from a lowly Daimyo - especially when you take down an entire Slaver’s ring beforehand.”

The kids sit up a bit straighter, giving me better access to the shackles the Slavers gave them. )

I laugh and laugh, and laugh , and laugh.

I laugh until everything hurts.

I laugh until somebody comes and sits down next to me, and I’m forced to sit up in a wheezing, exhausted, teary-eyed heap next to them, and-

“Well, that’s charming.” Karin deadpans, “I can see why the Slavers jumped off their ship, with a face like that.”

I wheeze again, doubling over, almost in dogeza, and she facepalms.

“ Oh. My. God. You’re pathetic . How are you in charge? Why are you in charge? This is ridiculous!” Karin drags me upright as I flounder and flail and cackle , then she pulls out a comb , “You look ridiculous , Uzukage-sama, absolutely ridiculous .”

“And what ? Combing my hair is going to fix that?” I wheeze at her, “ Honey if you can tame my hair, I’ll make you an advisor. ”

“How about you sit still and let me do it again, instead?” She suggests dryly, easily sectioning off a chunk of it and starting at the bottom (I don’t know why or how or why .) It takes me a couple of tries before I’m able to breathe evenly enough to be called still , but she doesn’t complain anymore. “Y’know, normally people only have long hair when they can take care of it …?”

“I haven’t had the time to cut it, and as much as I trust Itachi to cut my hair instead of my throat , his eyesight is deteriorating faster than any of us thought it would.” I admit, she pauses, “ Please tell me Sasuke-dobe knows about his brother and his antics involving their dojutsu.”

“ If he does, he’s certainly never mentioned it to us … ” Karin begins brushing my hair again, and I hum quietly. “Did you really fistfight a god for Itachi?”

“ Of course! He helped me break into the temple in the first place - it was only fair I helped him when he was in danger, too .” I shrug,

“But it was a god .” Karin murmurs, I pause, blinking out into the sunset, confusion making my chest slightly hollow. “It was a god and you were nine .”

“ So ?” I turn slightly, looking at her over my shoulder, and she blinks at me. “No one has ever cared about age when killing, enslaving, or genociding before . Why should it matter now? Here ? Because we’re not at open war? Don’t make me laugh, Karin. You’re an Uzumaki, too. We were killed off because of our chakra reserves, cousin. What do you think gave me the ability to fight that god?”

A familiar cloud passes through her eyes, dark and curling and dangerous , but (strangely) it passes. It fades away .

“ How complete are the clan birth records? ” She asks shyly, I pause, turning forward as I contemplate. “ Do…do you think I could find my mom in them? ”

“ Oh! Undoubtedly, but Karin…” I pause, my words surprisingly dried up as I look into the koi pond, but…she needs - no. She deserves to know. “ ...don’t hold out hope. ”

“ Hope for what? A happy family reunion? No, Uzukage-sama, I just want to know when to celebrate her funeral. ”

By the time everyone else agrees we’ve harassed ‘ Team Heavy ’ enough, Karin managed to braid my hair, and then tie the braid into a bun.

“ Thank you , cousin, it looks lovely.” I tell Karin, smiling as I bow to her, she turns a red that almost matches her hair.

“ Holy shit, we can see her face! ” Kurama yells, grabbing me under the armpits, and I sigh heavily as he lifts me. “ Karin, you’re a wizard -! ”

“ Put her down, you oversized furry! ” Kurama runs away from her, still holding me in the air as he cackles madly. “ Goddammit, Kurama, you’re gonna get her hair dirty! I just finished getting cobwebs out of it! ”

“ It wasn’t that bad! ” I complain, but Kurama gives me a small toss before catching me princess-style in his arms. “ Hey! Kurama-”

“I know, I know,” He laughs, but ducks behind Itachi, who looks confused until Karin scrambles up and tries to chase Kurama, comb still in hand . “ But where’s the fun in surrender!? ”

“Dude, c’mon, it’s bedtime for everybody ! Quit harassing the kids.” Itachi scolds, Kurama gives him a blinding smile, and I groan, flinging my head back against my brother’s shoulder. “Even Narue is tired, man, c’mon.”

“But it's so fun to make them chase me~ I’m finally small enough that they won’t squish if I step wrong!” Kurama whines,

“ Just run laps with Lee and Guy, then! ” I sigh heavily, “ Please , Kura, I wanna go to bed.”

I look up at Kura-nii and make my eyes go big , letting my lower lip pop out a little as I do so. Kurama immediately sulks at me but places me down on my feet with a sigh.

“ Okay - but you’re joining us tomorrow!” Kurama bounds out the door gleefully , and I shout his name loudly and chase him . “ Ha ha! I thought you were tired , Uzukage-sama~ ”

“ I’m gonna smack you into next week, you furry menace! ” I shout and he laughs, “ I already have taijutsu training with Kaguya in the morning! ”

Sasuke Uchiha’s POV

“ I already have taijutsu training with Kaguya in the morning! ”

( Say sike. For the love of everything holy, say sike right now. )

Narue does not say sike, and I exchange a terrified glance with Jugo as Suigetsu lets out a disbelieving laugh, and Karin whimpers.

“ Yep. ” Aniki mutters, “Still batshit insane .”

“ Careful, you’ll sound like you know her. ” Captain Furukawa snickers, “Boys, c’mon, let's go home.”

“Do you think Narue will remember we have that mission on Thursday? She always comes and sleeps over the night before we leave.” Jin questions,

“She hasn’t missed a night yet!” Ryu laughs, easily helping the captain into a coat, even as the large man shakes the house with another booming laugh. “What’s wrong, cap?”

“ Nothing , just something she mentioned once.” He smiles warmly at Ryu, his milky eyes attempting to focus on him but aimed somewhere over his shoulder. “It makes sense now, is all.”

“We don’t get to know the joke?” One of the twins whines while they hold the door,

“You’re so mean, captain.” The other twin whines, even as they help the captain through the door, and he lets out another booming laugh.

“Are you guys going back to the hotel?” Jugo asks quietly, and I pause as I pick up my sword. I blink at him, but he stubbornly does not look at any of us and keeps his gaze fixed firmly on his shoes.

( Ah. He probably thinks he’ll lose control in his sleep or something. )

“We can stay here, Jugo.” I state calmly, “As long as you need us to.”

He smiles, one of his rare ones that is warm, soft, and kind.

( This is what friends do, right? Is this why Narue is pissed off at me? Won’t take me seriously as a rival/enemy? As a shinobi , even. )

“Let’s go find those spare futons,” Karin states, Itachi chuckles at us, looking fond.

“I’ll tell Tsunade, so there’s no panic in the morning.” Konan ruffles my hair, and I scowl at them all as Itachi, Kisame, Konan, Nagato, and Yahiko all leave together. “Try to actually sleep , okay kids? No staying up until dawn gossiping.”

“Yes, mom. ” We all sass in sync, and Itachi laughs as Konan gasps in offense, but Kisame closes the door before any of us can face her wrath.

Chapter Text

Kyuubi no Yoko/Uzumaki Kurama’s POV

“G’mornin’.” I yawn as I plop down next to a white-faced and panicky-looking Iruka-niisan, bored-looking and mid-yawn Itachi-kun, mildly-impressed-looking Kisame, horrified Kakashi-sensei, and vaguely-annoyed Haku - who’s in the middle of painting his nails. “...dude, that’s a bad idea-”

“As long as they don’t-”

CRASH

“...do that.” The sand settles again as Haku gets a massive tic mark on his forehead and Kisame bites his knuckles as Iruka sinks his nails into Kakashi’s shoulder with a whimper while my cub swears colorfully while scrambling madly to her feet. “IF YOU BREAK HER, I’M MAKING YOU PAY FOR THE MEDS IN HER SURGERY, YOU GOT IT!?”

“SHE IS MUCH MORE DURABLE THAN THE REST OF HUMANITY SEEMS TO BE.” Kaguya shouts back, sounding thrilled and mildly confused, and I look out across the sandy beach. A small cliff, somewhere between twenty and thirty feet, starts in front of us, and it makes the small, gentle wind sound like a gale-force hurricane coming in as Kaguya and Narue throw chakra-reinforced punches that land like lightning strikes and break the sound barrier when they miss.

They’re bleeding in several places and as Narue scrambles up, I notice she’s swaying slightly, and avoiding weight on one ankle.

“Lunch on a broken ankle.” I mutter to Itachi-kun,

“That’s a sucker’s bet,” He grins like a weasel, but leans in and takes the bait anyway. “Notice how she’s guarding her ribs? That’s gonna be at least three on the right side.”

“Okay,” Narue groans as she settles in her chair, Nagato snickers loudly at her, Tsunade looks horrified, Jiraiya crosses himself viciously, and Shizuna clutches her pig like something sacrilegious has occurred. “Updates on…the fuck are their problems?”

“No idea.” Kaguya fixes Narue’s hair idly, the two of them freshly showered, their bones healed, but badly bruised specifically to shame them for their bad decisions (Haku’s words, not mine) and Kaguya has a split lip. “I think you performed wonderfully-”

“Sparring ring.” Kakashi quickly explains as Tsunade goes dangerously pale, they all breath loud sighs of relief, and both women behind the desk pause, staring at him in confused offense. “Don’t ask me, they’re more perverted than me.”

“Says the man who reads erotica in front of children.” Kaguya shames him in public, I snort loudly, then clamp a hand over my nose and mouth before I can help myself, and my grandmother glares at me, hands going to hips. “Do we need to have a talk, young man?”

“I just think he’s done worse, is all.” I wheeze out,

“Oh, he has.” Itachi confirms, Kaguya raises an eyebrow, “He has the decency to pretend to be a closet pervert, so we put up with him.”

“Oi!” Kakashi protests, Kaguya immediately pulls out a harisen and threatens him with it, he recoils in fear, Narue stares very hard at her desk, making a familiar face as the Seal warms with amusement - like a spot of sunshine warming up a section of tatami in spring. “I’m just saying! I have some redeeming qualities!”

“Oh?” Kaguya’s eyes blaze, Narue coughs quietly, “I’m sorry, your highness, we’re supposed to be having a meeting.”

She quickly puts the harisen back wherever she was hiding it before.

“The poison has been placed, and has worked it’s way through the rural areas completely.” Zabuza states, voice still slightly warm with amusement despite the serious topic, and a chill runs down my spine as the smile slides right off my face.

“We’ve discovered four white Zetsu clones so far,” Haku’s voice is completely ice cold, as serious as the grave, and Shizune nearly drops Tonton as we all turn to face him with nearly unanimous gasps - the only one not making some noise of surprise is Narue, actually. “All of them were foaming at the mouth and mid-transformation. Since we caught one while it was dying we decided to ask some questions, and, well…”

Haku looks to Kisame, who pulls out a Prisoner Transfer Sealing Scroll - a Sealing Scroll meant to Seal in a living person in their exact state when captured, no matter their health or chakra levels, and hold them that way in stasis until released by a specific person, usually the person who put them in the scroll, but occasionally (like during wartime, or for high-level espionage missions) it’s the kage of the Hidden Village.

Kisame tries to pass the scroll to Narue, who looks at him like he has two heads.

“Why would I be able to fetch it?” The entire room pauses, staring at her, and Kisame blinks. “Who put him in there, Kisame?”

“Well, I did, but-”

“Then unseal him.” Narue looks as entertained as I’ve ever seen her - well, almost. She looked happier when she heard that there was a chance of her meeting her parents at some point due to their chakra trace left over in me, but she was four then.

“...this is a-”

“I know what scroll it is.” Narue looks thrilled as she places an elbow on her desk, resting a fist against her face as Nagato and Yahiko cover their laughter with small coughs. Iruka covers his face quietly as Konan facepalms while smiling, Haku tilts his head like a curious owl, and Zabuza looks between Kisame and Naruto warily. “What I don’t know is why you think I wouldn’t trust you enough to be able to unseal it.”

The room goes dead silent for about a beat, then everyone melts, and Kisame looks like he’s gonna cry. Itachi actually tears up next to him, Konan wrapping her arm around his shoulders and dragging him in as Yahiko snickers quietly.

“Kisame, you’ve literally been Itachi’s unofficial bodyguard for five years,” Narue states, eyes warm and a smirk twitching at the corners of her lips, “Considering the secrets, both personal, professional, and even state that he knows, you are one of the highest ranked professionals in Uzushio at the moment. You and Kurama are my right-hand men, currently.”

“Please stop, I’m gonna cry.” Kisame rasps weakly, Narue smiles softly at him, “Are we winging these questions or making a list?”

“Since he’s injured, we should make a list of questions labelled from the number one most important to least important questions we can think of,” Narue states, the entire room sobers up quickly, the cute and sweet moment passing quickly as the veil of professionalism returns. “That way, when he dies, we’ll have the most important questions answered.”

“Okay, Nagato, you usually have a notepad with you-”

“I got it right here, Jiraiya-sensei.” Nagato unfolds his portable tabletop from the arm of his wheelchair and drags out his notepad and pen. “Lets get all the questions out first, then sort them by level of importance, yeah?”

“That’s brilliant.” Narue, Kaguya, and Shizune agree in sync,

“Okay,” I shake my head, “This went from ‘short paperwork signoff’ to ‘at least two hours of diplomatic bullshit’ - I’m getting snacks for this.”

I pull out my own notepad from my back pocket as several people snort at me.

“Who wants what from where?”

I manage to rope Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Karin into helping me carry the food, while Kiba, Neji, Tenten, Sasuke, and Suigetsu carry the drinks, and Jugo helps me carry the tablecloths, utensils, cups, and serving utensils.

“Knock knock!” I shout at the door, Itachi laughs, but opens it, then laughs harder at the sight of us all. “Yeah, the food got to be a bit much, so I kidnapped some local troublemakers.”

“Yo! Naruto!” Kiba cheers, Akamaru barks, tail wagging happily at the sight of her, Narue smiles at them warmly, eyebrow raising.

“Uzukage-sama,” Neji bows his head as best he can, “I am-”

“I remember you, Neji,” Narue snorts at him, “You once chased down Hinata-kun, shouting at her because she forgot her coat and the forecast called for rain. You scared her out of her wits, but managed to wrangle the six-year-old into a coat faster and easier than most adults did.”

“Ah.” Neji’s cheeks turn pink as Tenten laughs at him, along with most of the room, but they have the decency to hide their snickers, “I’m sorry to have left such an impression on you-”

“Why? You seemed like a good big brother to Hinata-kun.” Narue raises an eyebrow and Neji almost tips over by the drink table as everyone from Konoha roars with laughter, and Narue gives him an evil smile. “Am I mistaken, by chance?”

“Nope!” Hinata gives her a smug grin, already having put down the load she was carrying to sneak up behind Neji and hug him tightly, “This is my big brother.”

“Lady Hinata!” Neji shouts defensively, cheeks flamingly, but she snuggles in tightly, Tenten almost collapses next to him, cackling. “I have done nothing to deserve that honor! Cease this immediately before your father finds out-”

“If that old sot has a problem with Hinata-kun claiming you as her big brother, then he can take it up with me.” Narue states, I pluck the drinks out of Neji’s hands, then turn him around forcefully and make him hug Hinata back, making Narue laugh as he tries to push me off. “Nii-san-”

“A good big brother hugs his little sisters!” I argue back,

“Or little brother.” Itachi cracks his knuckles threateningly in Sasuke’s direction, making the poor boy’s hair stand on end.

“If you come near me…” Sasuke breathes, ash and smoke lacing his words with every delicate exhale as he pulls a knife from his belt while glaring at his brother with a glowing Sharingan, “...it will be the last thing you ever do.”

“Oh, really?” Itachi’s Sharingan begins to glow also, Narue sighs deeply, but the entire room laughs loudly as both brothers tense up and prepare to fight.

CRASH

“OI!”

“HEY!” Itachi and Sasuke shout loudly, several people shriek,

“There.” Narue states, I almost laugh, but shove my fist into my mouth instead as Neji pushes Hinata and Tenten behind the two of us, not-quite-instinctively, but close. “Now you two are forced to hug - and I don’t have to clean ash out of my antique carpet again.”

Narue stands up with a soft huff, golden chains draped out of her chest like silk ties, and it’s incredibly hard to not laugh as the entire room stares at her with eyes the size of dinner plates as she approaches the table.

“Try to leave them some food, cub.” I state warningly,

“Oh, shit, did she have breakfast-”

“Did anybody feed her before training-”

“Fuck, wait, Uzumaki metabolism-” Tsunade, Iruka, and Kakashi all start panicking and pouncing in sync, and Kaguya laughs at them all as Narue swipes her food - which accounts for, like, half the table - and bolts for the door.

“Wait, what-”

“Hold on-”

“That’s not-”

“NARUE UZUMAKI!?” Iruka, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Shizune give chase, shrieking after her as she cackles madly and runs for it. To absolutely no one’s surprise, she steps out from behind the door and drops the genjutsu over her food after the last grown-up leaves, making the entire room snicker harder as she shrugs guiltlessly at us all.

“Shameless.” Kaguya snickers,

“Hey now,” Narue smirks, “I did how many laps this morning with you guys?”

Narue points at me, Neji, and Tenten - referring to Team Gai’s morning workout that she joined in on, and I beam proudly as the entire room goes pale.

“And then I sparred with you for three hours.” Narue points at Kaguya easily, “They get to get off their asses and do something other than paperwork before lunch.”

“You just enjoy pranking people still.” Sasuke taunts, Narue gives him a lazy, smug grin as she swipes a bowl of her favorite ramen, made special by Teuchi himself.

“Hey, if something’s funny, something’s funny.” Narue shrugs, “Laughter’s the best medicine, ain’t that right, Haku?”

“There are studies about how laughter and happiness positively impact healing times for various injuries.” Haku hums quietly, tapping his cheek lazily as Zabuza attempts to steal a sushi and almost gets his hand impaled by an ice senbon. “I will reattach your hand upside down.”

“Not even a taste-test?”

“These are my sushi!”

“What if it’s totally poisonous?” Zabuza grins wickedly, Haku rolls his eyes so hard, he could qualify for a slot machine, and every sibling in the room laughs. “I might have to save you from the vegetables, otouto~”

“I will bite you, Zabuza.”

“And get blood on your favorite kimono? Doubtful.” Zabuza gives his little brother a shark-like grin, but backs off as Haku threatens him with an ice senbon aimed at his face. The room continues to giggle as Narue settles in her seat, already slurping noodles. “Hey, you mentioned finding a cure for Jugo a couple days ago. How’s that going?”

“Excellent, actually.” Narue pauses, licking her lips as Jugo perks up, “We haven’t quite figured out what form would work best for the cure-”

“Tsunade-hime and her insistence on seals!” Haku seethes quietly, suddenly, sounding furious as he uses chopsticks made of ice to eat his sushi, “The utter ridiculousness! The dependency!”

“Ahem! As I was saying,” Narue clears her throat in Haku’s direction and he quiets down his grumbling, making Zabuza chuckle warmly as the boy’s cheeks turn pink, “We don’t know what form the cure should take, but we know about how your so-called-curse works, biologically speaking, Jugo, and we know what it needs to counter-act it. It’s just a matter of making the professionals pull their personal opinions out of their workspaces.”

“Hm, now why is that saying so familiar?” Kaguya pinches her cheek playfully, Narue sticks her tongue out at her as Jugo sniffles quietly. “Dearie, why on earth are you crying now? It’s almost complete, you’re almost there, and you’ve got a wonderful house for your friends to visit you at-”

“They’re happy tears!” Jugo sniffles out, leaning onto Sasuke heavily, who looks tired, but pulls out a handkerchief for him anyway, and begins to wipe at his face. “You’re really gonna make me normal? I’ll be able to make friends without bothering you or Sasuke?”

“Since when are you a bother, Jugo-kun?” Narue immediately fires back, sounding stern for a change,

“How could I ever think of you as a bother, Jugo?” Sasuke scoffs, as if the idea is pedestrian or something, and I share an amused look with Itachi over the kids’ heads. “You’re my friend.”

“Awww~” Kaguya coos at them all,

“It’s like they’re sharing custody of Jugo’s mental health-”

“Konan, I’ll dye your hair pink again.” Narue threatens immediately, and the room dissolves into giggles as the blonde sets the empty ramen bowl aside and begins to tuck into her own sushi roll, “Mm. Salmon’s good this year. What’d you get, Haku?”

“Trout, Carp, and Snow Crab.”

“Ooh, I’ll trade you some of my onigiri rolls for a slice of the crab-”

“One onigiri, one, and I’ll give you a crab roll.”

“Deal.” Everyone begins sorting out their food.

“Narue, you little shit.” Iruka’s the first to make it back, panting, but he looks amused despite the winded way he slouches against the doorframe. “Did you even leave the room?”

“No, but you guys have been sitting around and doing paperwork too much.” Narue states, he glares, and she gives him a smug cat smile that looks far too similar to me when I’m feeling particularly prideful to not make me snort into a fist and turn away giggling. “So I think you all needed the exercise.”

“Kushina junior.” Kakashi mutters loudly, also panting as he walks up next to Iruka,

“If it makes you feel any better, your food is still warm, and so if everyone else’s.” They relax slightly at the sight of the warming seals on their food. “Those of us from the meeting have also had the teens consult us about some more questions to ask the prisoner, although we didn’t tell them who the prison is, where they are being held, or why we’re bothering to question them instead of immediately kill them like Sasuke keeps insisting.”

“Just send their head back to the stupid masked fucker-”

“No.” Narue’s chakra flares slightly with her annoyance, and Sasuke’s Sharingan activates as he glares at her, their tempers clashing once again. I meet Itachi’s amused stare as they growl at each other like wolves. “They have information that we can use, so we will-”

“That’s only if they have the common sense to cooperate!”

“You cooperated once violence got involved and you’re fairly stupid, too!” Narue slams the empty tray that held her barbeque down like it’s a gavel as she stands up, Sasuke gapes at her as several people cackle.

“Imouto, that wasn’t much of a fight.” I state, as kindly as possible, Itachi snickers quietly,

“Enough of a fight for me to prove a point.” Narue grumphs, grabbing another plate of onigiri rolls, “Ooh, salmon roe~”

“I think one of those trays is mine, Narue.” Iruka frowns at the table in confusion and Narue pauses, “Is one of them from that cute Konbini run by-”

“Oh, I have that one!” Nagato looks guilty immediately,

“I have yours, Nagato.” Narue looks guilty as she checks the label on one of the empty containers, “Oops.”

“This is why I suggested we eat separately.” Karin mutters, smirking softly by her own tower of empty take-out containers.

“Quick, musical dinner chairs, everybody~” Narue teases, Iruka and Nagato laugh as the three of them trade the half-eaten trays around.

“At least I don’t have to worry about leftovers.” Iruka states, I pull out a couple of pork buns I was saving, “I will be full after four of these, put whatever it is back in your pocket, Kurama.”

I pause.

“Are we sure you don’t have eyes in the back of your head?” I muse, narrowing my eyes at his ponytail as he settles down in the chair in front of me, and our big brother snorts loudly as Narue roars with laughter, settling down at her desk calmly and pulling out a canned tea from…I don’t know where.

(Perhaps she keeps a drawer or two refrigerated and loaded with snacks? Sounds like something she would do, especially with her appetite, it would be a good idea.)

“Unfortunately, we have narrowed it down to ‘experienced teacher witchcraft’ as Asuma put it.” Kakashi manages to drawl with a full mouth-

WHEN DID THAT FUCKER MANAGE TO EAT!?

“Okay, you definitely are cheating!” I shout, pointing at him, he holds his hands up, Sasuke also leaps to his feet, Sakura and Narue laugh. “How the hell do you keep doing that, you annoying fuck?!”

“Mah~ Can’t a man have some secrets, Kura-kun?”

“Don’t you ‘Kura-kun’ me! You’re wearing some stupid amount of masks, but you’re popping rice balls like Choji pops chips! Fess up!”

Sasuke joins in on the bullying, and the room laughs at us as Kakashi smiles and taunts us like the annoying big brother he is.

Chapter Text

Hey guys, so, uh, very awkward question for you all.

Does anyone want to continue this story?

I figured out I'm trans and writing from a girl/woman's perspective makes me INCREDIBLY dysphoric.

So I'm willing to give one of you this story, along with the draft I have of the next chapter, and wash my hands of it.

Comment if you want this story, please.