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It was winter and it was snowing. They now spent most of their days within the walls of the boarding school. Today was actually a day like any other, but Rufus and Tseng were called to the school doctor in the evening. The deputy headmaster was also in there.
"The teachers and governesses keep telling me how tired you both look. Now that I see it for myself, I can only agree with them."
Fear, stress and inner panic rose in Tseng's body, but he also knew that he couldn't look at Rufus now. He felt his hands start to sweat cold, but kept them steady.
Rufus spoke for them, "Tseng helps me with my weekly chores for Shinra, sir." A white lie. He didn't mention that these tasks were ridiculously easy for him.
"Perhaps we should have a word with the president. We can't have him draining his son like this -"
"-No, please. The executives all work late into the night. If he hears that it's too much, he'll just call me weak and possibly refuse to allow me to take over his position."
The doctor and the deputy headmaster looked at him for a long time with piercing eyes.
Tseng's mind raced and he could feel his heart beating in his ears. He couldn't remember the next few minutes later. However, it seemed that Rufus was able to convince them, at least for now.
Once they were in Rufus' room, Tseng sorted his thoughts once more. Rufus wasn't going to like his next suggestion. He took a deep breath.
"I guess we should be patient for the next few weeks to catch up on our much-needed sleep..." Tseng didn't quite manage to hide his disappointment.
"I hate it when you're right about things like that. But next time they won't give in so easily. Gods I miss you already after that statement. I hate being the reasonable one, Tseng!" Rufus had been pacing up and down faster and faster while talking and was now banging his fist against his locker.
Tseng knew Rufus' temperament by now and didn't even bat an eyelid at the sudden outburst of emotion. Actually, he was glad that Rufus was venting instead of letting it all get to him.
But he also knew that he was the only one who got to see Rufus like this. Rufus trusted him enough to loosen his constant control. Secretly, Tseng was proud to be the only one Rufus trusted enough.
He waited a moment until Rufus had calmed down a little, then approached him and gently took his hand. That seemed to ground Rufus a bit. It slowed his insatiable mind, stopped his thoughts from spinning.
Rufus took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry. Yes, I know it's better if we want to stay together long term. I just don't know if...I can make that happen..." Rufus let out a short laugh. He found it embarrassing to admit.
"I know what you mean and I feel the same way. But I guess it has to be done. Besides, we can do it during the holidays. Well, we won't see each other then either, but still."
"I hate growing up. I just want to enjoy our free moments with you without having to think about the future. I mean, yes, I want to take over Shinra, but"-
Tseng interrupted Rufus' thoughts again, this time with a quick kiss on the cheek - they wanted to be reasonable now, after all.
It was particularly tough at the beginning. Neither of them could fall asleep, even though they were so tired. Their own bed seemed cold and bleak. The warmth and touch of the other was missing.
Tseng suddenly wondered one night how people could voluntarily enter a monastery. ...well probably...if you didn't know any other life...or it's all a lie and monasteries are hot around the clock? Tseng shook his head to himself. His lovesickness made him have these thoughts, nothing else.
He sighed and rolled onto his back. Even though he kept his eyes closed, he didn't get tired. Despite everything, his and Rufus' dark circles had already receded considerably. How could that be, he wondered. When he was hardly sleeping now?
Have we really overdone it this much? When even this little bit of sleep is more than before?
The answer was yes, of course. And as he thought about it, he remembered that when he was little, his mum often said to enjoy everything in moderation. That suddenly made sense. But how much was too much? Well, the way they did it before, was definitely too much.
Perhaps this celibacy-for-a-time is a good way to help us find a measure again.
Something other than just more, more, more. He chuckled to himself and felt his body relax for the first time since "the incident" before sleep finally overtook him.
Tseng had been itching all day to tell Rufus his realisation from the previous night. Of course, they had to wait until there were no other ears. So he finally did when they were doing Rufus' chores for Shinra.
"Tseng. You're my soulmate", Tseng paused slightly surprised and waited for him to continue, "I came to the exact same conclusion last night."
"You're pulling my leg", said Tseng incredulously.
"No, really!" Rufus affirmed with a grin, making them both laugh.
It took them a while to stop and when they did, they held their aching bellies. Neither of them had felt this relaxed for weeks.
"Now there's just one question left", Tseng began. Rufus turned his head in Tseng's direction and emphasised his previous comment by finishing Tseng's sentence.
"How long do we want to take a break?" Tseng nodded and looked at his fingers, which he began to play with nervously.
"Well, I'd say at least until all signs of fatigue have disappeared and then maybe a few more weeks on top of that." Rufus wasn't quite sure himself what those few weeks were for. He told himself that they were "playing it safe". But he wasn't quite sure why. After all, it wasn't like a surgical scar that might open up again if you put tension or pressure on it too soon. The willpower at that particular moment was decisive. More like the right measure when eating sweets. An apt comparison, as he liked to eat Tseng. Rufus quickly stopped this thought before his brain showed him the images of their nights together again.
"We'll have to practice willpower until then", he heard Tseng say and snapped out of his thoughts, only to start laughing again after processing what Tseng had just said.
"What is it, what did I say?" But Rufus' laughing had infected Tseng and so they suffered another fit of laughter.
Tseng hadn't slept as many hours in a row as he did this Sunday for ages. He had gone to bed early and only woke up slowly around midday. There was a contented warmth in his body as he dozed for a while.
When he finally opened his eyes, he was surprised how he had been able to sleep in this brightness. It had snowed again and the sun was shining, which made his room look particularly bright.
Suddenly he sat upright in bed with a jolt - they weren't allowed to miss meals. So why hadn't anyone woken him up?
He washed and dressed in no time at all. It was Sunday, so he didn't put on his school uniform, but a smart suit. Yes, a suit.
He would never really understand this school. But he didn't have to, he just had to stick to the rules.
He hurried to lunch and naturally sat down next to Rufus.
"Hi", he whispered as a member of staff rushed over to bring him his soup. Canteen during the week, Sunday lunch like in a restaurant. But again he remembered: don't understand, just play along.
"Hi, did you sleep well?" grinned Rufus.
"Yeah - how is it that nobody woke me up?" Tseng took a slice of baguette from the basket on the table and dipped it into his soup.
"A governess came with me to check on you. When she saw that you were fast asleep, she thought we both had some sleep to catch up on anyway and just let you sleep. I was really surprised." Rufus just finished his soup and helped himself to another slice of baguette while he waited for the main course to be served.
"You're kidding me." Tseng paused while spooning his soup and couldn't believe it. The rules were beaten into you here every day. Sometimes even literally, if someone failed to follow them.
"No, really. I was just as surprised as you are now. Of course I didn't say anything, otherwise she would have dragged you out of bed in the end." Rufus skilfully ignored the member of staff who removed his soup plate while he took another bite of the baguette slice.
"You're looking much better, by the way. Healthier", Rufus added after a moment of observation.
"You too. You're also working out more regularly again, which is noticeable", he quickly continued eating his soup before he could say anything else to attract attention. Yes, they had been so addicted to each other that they had almost forgotten everything else.
He only really realised that now.
"I feel better again too. Training is good for me", Tseng heard the hidden second meaning behind Rufus' words. The training gave him an outlet for his anger and stress and a distraction from the temporary celibacy. He felt the same way himself. Sometimes the sexual tension between them was so great that he wondered why there were no sparks between them. And that no one had ever asked them about it.
Had they really become so good at putting on a neutral mask?
According to Rufus, this mask was essential for working in one of Shinra's leadership positions. He knew that from the last holiday.
"I can't hardly wait..." Rufus murmured after a moment. Having sex again? Oh yes, me too. Tseng had to suppress a sigh.
"What can you hardly wait for?" Joanna blinked at him wide-eyed from across the table. Tseng couldn't shake the feeling that she was increasingly trying to make a pass at Rufus. Unfortunately, she had never been particularly skilful and had often been punished as a result.
Rufus answered her without hesitation: "Spring. I finally want to go out again and do my schoolwork on the lawn."
Joanna put on a pained expression and agreed with Rufus. She started to say something, but Tseng could see that Rufus was no longer listening to her. But that didn't matter, Joanna had enough admirers hanging on her lips instead of him.
Tseng was just finishing his soup when the main course was served.
A few weeks later, Rufus and Tseng were the last ones in the gym in the evening. Well, apart from the constant patrol. A moment that was somehow strange. They didn't even dare to have a normal conversation.
At least, until the noise in the corridor. Someone seemed to have fallen. Then the governess rushed out of the door.
Just a moment behind, Rufus rushed to Tseng's side.
"Hey, uh. I was thinking...when we finish our break soon...let's not go to the buffet but to a fancy restaurant, if you know what I mean", Rufus murmured against his ear.
"I do. You mean savour instead of unreserved feasting. And I've been thinking about that too. Otherwise, what would be the point of this break if we carry on as before afterwards?" Meanwhile, Tseng continued to push the weights away from his body undisturbed.
"Exactly. That may be difficult to implement, but I think it's a very good chance to do things... differently. Why are you smiling?"
"Nothing important. I just think it's funny how you avoid using the word adult." Tseng smirked, but quickly regained his composure when he heard that the conversation in the corridor had ended.
Rufus hurried back to his current device and resumed just in time for the governess to enter the room.
The following Sunday, Tseng woke up well rested at seven o'clock in the morning. He decided to get up early and possibly start preparing for the upcoming exams in the spring. Look through everything, sort everything, maybe start labelling index cards. Boring but necessary work.
But first he would treat himself to a nice, long shower. He expertly took care of his hair, which was quite long at this point. He then soaped his now well-built body and let his mind wander.
He paused when his hand reached his morning stiff cock. He put the soap down and leant against the shower wall. Slowly, he stroked his fingers along the shaft with a teasing touch.
He had so many memories to fall back on. Their innocent first kiss. The first time. Or one of the many that followed, one moment hotter than the last.
Tseng didn't even try to decide. He simply closed his eyes and began to stroke slowly up and down. A soft sigh left his lips as he let himself fall into the sensations. He should be freezing because he had turned off the water earlier, but he got hot so quickly that he didn't give it a second thought.
He wrapped his hand tighter around his cock and speeded up his movements as he thought of Rufus. Images flashed before his inner eye. Rufus training, Rufus stripping, Rufus during sex. A rumble escaped him and he began to fuck into his hand to get his much needed release. His breathing quickened and his brow furrowed in desperation. His breath hitched as he came, trembling all over. Only when his muscles relaxed again he exhaled slowly.
"Fuck..." Slowly, he opened his eyes again and blinked against the sudden brightness before continuing his shower.
The days were gradually getting longer again and the snow was starting to thaw. Snowdrops could be seen here and there on the school grounds. This evening there was another big dinner with some high personage.
The whole thing had long since become routine, for Rufus it had been uninteresting from the start anyway, as he had already met many of these personalities in Shinra through company meetings since he was still a boy. It was still unfamiliar for Tseng, but he wasn't nearly as nervous as he had been at the beginning. They were all just people, too, and if it happened that he was seated next to the special person of the evening, he would make polite conversation and otherwise dine as usual. Whereas before, he had to try not to stare at these distinguished people.
When tonight's dinner was over, Tseng claimed he had to go to the toilet and saw Rufus off at the entrance to the dining room. What was really happening was that they were ending their celibacy today. And they didn't want to draw attention to themselves by heading off in the completely wrong direction together.
Tseng took his time in the toilet as a precaution, washing his hands thoroughly and splashing water on his face. Both to get himself out of his inebriated state (they were allowed a glass of wine on these evenings) and to focus.
Okay Tseng, remember: enjoy, don't feast.
With that, he set off, taking a surprising number of detours tonight to avoid being caught.
He closed the door of the storeroom and activated the secret mechanism to open the door to their hiding place. As the bookshelf slid aside, candlelight flooded the room.
Rufus had obviously already set the mood.
Tseng couldn't help but smile as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. And when he turned round, his breath caught in his throat.
Rufus was lying on the blankets and pillows in front of him. Completely naked, except for a tiny bit of lingerie. Tseng felt dizzy as all his blood instantly flowed into his cock.
"Hi", Rufus purred. The blue eyes so dark they were almost black.
Tseng tried to regain his speech and cleared his throat, "...Hi" He licked his suddenly too dry lips.
"W-where did you...when did you...?" Tseng was embarrassed, but he couldn't stop staring.
Rufus grinned and moved to pull Tseng down to him. "Does it matter?" he murmured in Tseng's ear.
"...not really..." Their lips met for the first time in months and the kiss set off long-missed fireworks in their bodies. But somehow they managed to control themselves and enjoy it. Instead of greedily going down on each other.
Rufus took his time to free Tseng from his evening clothes. Every touch sent a pleasant tingling sensation through Tseng's body. While they kissed sensuously.
When the last bit of fabric had been removed from Tseng, he let Rufus roll him onto his back. With a shaky breath, he received gentle kisses on his mouth, jaw, neck and down to his chest, where Rufus took the opportunity to gently nibble on Tseng's nipple, causing Tseng to gasp softly.
Rufus smiled and continued his kissing. Down Tseng's toned stomach - caressing each bulge of his abs individually. Continuing straight past his belly button and down to his groin, causing Tseng's leg to twitch slightly. Slowly, Rufus lifted one of Tseng's legs and kissed the inside of his thigh as Tseng began to squirm beneath him.
"Rufus...please..." Tseng breathed, his voice rough and desperate at the same time.
"Shhhh, we wanted to enjoy", Rufus continued to kiss Tseng's thigh, finally getting closer and closer to Tseng's cock with each kiss, which was already twitching on Tseng's stomach.
With his other hand, Rufus gently stroked up Tseng's other thigh and closed his fingers around Tseng's cock, kissing his shaft slowly and voluptuously from base to tip.
"Ohhh Gaia", Tseng moaned as he let his head sink back into the pillows. Rufus kissed and licked slowly along the shaft, catching the first drops of precum. He licked this sensitive spot under the glans with great pleasure before finally taking it into his mouth.
"Ahh-haaa" Rufus had always been good at it, but he seemed to have got even better during their break. Or maybe the break just made Tseng more sensitive. The pleasure quickly built up inside him and his hands found their way into Rufus' soft hair.
Rufus liked this as always and he hummed with satisfaction as he continued to expertly work Tseng's cock. But just as Tseng thought he was going to cum at any moment, Rufus drew back.
"...Wha...what? Why are you stopping?" Tseng mourned the touch - he had been so close!
Grinning cheekily, Rufus crawled along Tseng's body to kiss him again. "Enjoy, remember? You don't want it to be over already, do you?"
"You're an evil, evil man, Rufus Shinra", Tseng murmured against Rufus' lips.
"You love me for it", Rufus purred back, eliciting a chuckle from Tseng before he pulled Rufus into a long, deep French kiss. Rufus moaned as he returned the kiss passionately. Their hands caressed each other's bodies and Tseng's came to rest on Rufus' ass and he squeezed his ass cheeks between his hands. Rufus moaned willingly into their kiss, his hands on Tseng's pecs, his thumbs teasing the nipples.
Sometimes one of them twitched as their cocks rubbed together. Until the moment when Tseng could wait no longer: He reached behind him with one hand and felt the covers. He grabbed the lube when he found it and pressed it against Rufus' chest.
"Fuck me at last, Rufus", he said softly but firmly against Rufus' lips as he looked deep into his eyes.
Rufus chuckled: "So impatient" But he was already opening the bottle to prepare Tseng.
Tseng felt Rufus stretching him skilfully and he was so full of anticipation that it wasn't long before Rufus removed his fingers. Rufus positioned himself closer between Tseng's legs, pulled him up a little onto his lap and pressed his hard, smooth cock against his hole.
After months of "abstinence", Tseng thought he could get off on his own. But to his great surprise, he didn't cum as Rufus slowly pushed himself into him, lingering for a moment as his hips rested against Tseng's ass.
"Ahhhh," Rufus breathed, " I've missed this. I feel like you've gotten tighter." Rufus looked like he'd been wandering through the desert for days and could finally drink a sip of water.
"Maybe you've grown larger too", Tseng chuckled, placing a hand on Rufus' hip.
Rufus slowly pulled back and rolled his hips as he thrusted back in, immediately hitting some of Tseng's sweet spots.
"Oohhh", was all Tseng managed before his head fell back onto the pillows.
Rufus fucked Tseng slowly but firmly and with relish. They were going to enjoy it, after all. But one could clearly see that they were both finding it harder by the minute. Tseng was almost losing his mind and yet he wanted more.
But they wanted to savour it. So instead of asking Rufus to thrust faster, he started rolling his hips in time with Rufus' thrusts, making them both moan.
" Fuck Tseng", Rufus gasped as desperately as Tseng felt.
"Get down here", Tseng pleaded and Rufus complied.
They kissed, but quickly couldn't get enough air, so they just rested their foreheads together as they savoured each deep thrust. Lips close together and soft gasps and moans between them. The heat in the room grew and grew as they got closer and closer to their orgasm.
It was a mystery to Tseng that he still hadn't cum, because he couldn't remember ever having felt so much pleasure.
Then at some point it was too much - too much but not enough. Just as Tseng was about to beg Rufus between desperate sighs to take him really hard, Rufus beat him to it.
"Fuck Tseng. I - I have to..." And Rufus sped up his thrusts and Tseng followed suit and he didn't know exactly when it happened, but eventually he pushed them up and wrapped his arms around Rufus' neck in a hug. He sat on Rufus' lap while Rufus thrust upwards and Tseng pushed down in time with his thrusts.
Just a few moments later, they came together with a suppressed scream. Tseng's thighs tightened against Rufus's sides as he felt Rufus come inside him and he himself spurted thick, white strings onto their sweaty tummies. His forehead fell on Rufus' shoulder as they both sat there gasping for breath.
Rufus was the first to catch his breath, "Oh Gaia. I could say this every time, but..."
"Yes. That was the best sex I've ever had", Tseng gasped.
"Oh yes."
They left it at one round of sex and deliberately didn't have any the day after. After all, they wanted to learn their balance and it wouldn't help if they were at the same point in a few weeks' time as they were a few months ago. They were both sure that the school staff were still keeping an eye on them.
The next Saturday afternoon, just as they had started Rufus's chores for Shinra, they heard the sound of a helicopter landing on the school grounds. That in itself was nothing unusual, as many of the parents of the rich ...well they weren't kids any more, but still many people arrived here by helicopter.
What was unusual, however, was that after a few minutes there was a knock on Rufus' room door.
Tseng quickly withdrew from the desk - after all, Rufus was supposed to do these tasks alone.
"Come in", Rufus said in a firm voice, but at the same time turned back to his tasks.
The door opened and a man in a black suit entered the room. A man who looked vaguely familiar to Tseng, but at first he couldn't remember where from.
The man got straight to the point: "Mr Shinra, your father sent me to look after you and check your health."
"And since when do Turks do medical examinations? Give me something better, Veld", Rufus continued to work on his tasks, unimpressed.
Tseng, however, suddenly remembered where he had seen the man - the Turk - before. He had been standing among the other Turks, as Tseng now knew, when they had their very first day at boarding school. Since then, Rufus had always been flown here or picked up by another Turk, never this one.
Tseng had failed to follow the conversation during his realisation. What he had not failed to notice was that the man was watching him constantly. He seemed to be studying him, sizing him up.
Nevertheless, he was surprised when he was suddenly addressed.
"Then that's settled. Though I'm also here for you, son." Tseng's head snapped upwards.
"...Sir?" He felt his pulse quicken. Have they found out? Am I going to die now?
"Stand up straight and let me have a look at you." That was the moment Rufus raised his head, frowning, and gave the situation his full attention. Tseng hesitantly pushed himself off the wall, took a few steps into the room and stood as straight as he could.
The Turk, Veld, began to circle him, slowly and intently. Tseng didn't dare look in Rufus' direction, but simply waited out those agonisingly slow minutes.
"You've done quite well for yourself. Congratulations on building up your muscles so well. You really were far too thin back then. Now then - do you already know what you want to do after school, Tseng?"
Tseng was so surprised to hear his name coming out of this man's mouth that it took him a moment to answer.
"I, um…to be honest, I wanted to start thinking about it in the coming school holidays, sir." Now his gaze flitted to Rufus. They had somehow avoided talking about the subject. Yes, they wanted to stay together if they could, but...did Tseng really have a chance of being accepted into the company of Rufus' father? Rufus looked just as confused as he felt. Although he knew by now that Rufus was an excellent actor.
"Still earlier than most your age. Well, and the other students at this school have a prescribed path anyway...I appreciate your honesty, Tseng, and I'll keep an eye on you." With those words, the Turk turned and marched out the door.
Tseng stood perplexed for a moment, staring after the man.
"He wants you for the Turks," he heard Rufus say, turning his head towards him and seeing that Rufus had stood up.
"What?"
"He wants you for the Turks, I'm sure of it. I have to say you'd make a good Turk. I don't know if I can recommend that to you though...I don't want you to die." Rufus looked sad at the last words.
Tseng didn't know what to make of it - he didn't know what Turks did, after all. But according to Rufus, it seems to be very dangerous stuff. What would my parents say? He was sure his parents would rather see him behind a desk. Good money, little risk. And he couldn't blame them - who wants to worry about their child all the time?
But what did he want? He wanted to stay with Rufus. And if they pressurised him to decide now, he would become a Turk if he didn't get another job in Shinra.
Instead of an answer, he walked across the room towards Rufus and pulled him into a deep kiss.