Chapter Text
Anko was much more daring and active when it was warm outside.
The April sun hinted at the coming of summer. Such bright light also created dark and concealed patches of shade. This was where Kakashi found himself, a little drunker than he could admit from morning drinks and food, with his pants down. Anko glanced up from behind dark violet bangs, her eyes filled with mischief and the blush beneath belying how drunk she also was.
“Are you sure you want to do this here?” Kakashi whispered after taking a look around. “We could always just go back to my place or yours?” He heard himself slurring.
She stared up at him. “I’m sure.” Holding his gaze, her tongue extended from her mouth and wrapped around the length of him before she took him in.
He didn’t know how long he had lasted. He just watched her as she watched him. He lifted his forehead protector to expose his Sharingan. There were enough memories held within the eye to torture him. Now, there’d be one to savor.
When he finished, she laughed at him and cleaned up. They both fixed their clothes and reappeared out of the thicket they’d been hiding. Anko grabbed his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked onto the path, something that Kakashi didn’t particularly dislike.
Nor did he dislike her sultry suggestion in his ear. “You pick the next spot for my turn…unless you’re too scared to play the game,” she whispered.
He did want to play now.
He knew a place that they could go, still within the village grounds but far enough away from foot traffic that he could take his time if he so chose. There was no need to rush. The lustful look in Anko’s eyes made him stiff in his pants.
Kakashi led her to his choice of location. It was a waterfall emptying out from a minor river into a larger lake below. Behind the thunderous, watery veil was almost a cave. In truth, it looked as though someone had either purposely or accidentally carved a chunk out of the rock wall.
Drunk, sex-filled thoughts swam around his mind and he began to make plans, imagining how it would feel to let his mask down and bury his face between her thighs while they sat on the bank. Her moans would be drowned out by the crashing water but he'd be able to tell how good he was doing by her body's response.
Then, he'd take her behind the water and press her against the rock wall. He'd gently grab her beneath her jawline and kiss her deeply while his free hand traveled down the familiar curves of her body and his fingers slipped inside.
When pleasure had caused her eyes to glaze over, he could hear her almost begging him to fuck her. And he would.
At least, that's what he thought would happen.
When they made it to the waterfall, Kakashi took a few moments to relish in the beauty of the scenery before turning to see if it compared to Anko. Instead, whatever lust and desire was in her eyes had drained away, replaced by fear. Even without the Sharingan exposed, he could read every sign that she was uncomfortable in her face. She was staring behind the water to where the rock wall was.
“Anko?” Kakashi ventured.
“I don't want to be here,” she said quickly and gruffly. “Let's just go back to my place.”
“Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.” She turned away and began walking back down the path they came.
What did I do wrong? Kakashi gave the waterfall a sorrowful glance and followed behind her. Awkward silence filled the gap between them, made less so as they began to encounter more people. Smiling faces and bright eyes passed by them but Kakashi felt his mood grow sour and the stiffness in his pants subside.
Anko seemed to barrel her way into her apartment, accurately throwing her keys into a glass bowl before heading to the kitchen. She pulled a rich brown liquor from her cabinet, poured herself a shot, then downed it. She did it again. And then again.
Kakashi watched her saunter over to him, whatever ill feelings she had earlier replaced by returning lust. But, he wasn't a fool. Sadness still peeked from behind her gaze, plain to eyes as perceptive as his. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, he could smell the honey-like scent of the alcohol she'd drank. She held his eyes for a moment.
“Fuck me,” she said.
“Anko…”
“That's what you want, right?” She pushed him back to the couch. Kakashi sat down and she straddled him. Pale fingers slipped beneath the spaghetti straps of the top she wore. As they edged their way to her shoulders, Anko kept her eyes down.
No… Kakashi gently grabbed her hand and she seemed to leave whatever trance she was in. “Anko, stop.”
She stared at him incredulously. “Stop?”
“Yes,” Kakashi said. He didn't try to move her. Looking into her eyes, he apologized. “I'm sorry that the spot I chose wasn't the best. Didn't think it'd be so bad that you'd want to come home immediately, though.”
Anko’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed in annoyance. Then she quietly said, “You wouldn't have known.”
“Known what?”
Just as soon as the veil of vulnerability had lifted, it came crashing down. Anko shook her head and got up. “Nothing.”
Kakashi sighed. “Don't do that…”
“I don't want to talk about it. You, of all people, should understand that,” she answered, her voice a bladed edge. He was unfazed. Instead, he quietly relented. Anko stomped away. Kakashi heard a door slam, then, nothing. Blinking, he sighed again.
I just wanted to be young and drunk for once, he lamented. As a shinobi, the emotion he'd carried closest to his chest was deep sadness. He had stood in a pool of his father's blood after the man’s shame caused him to commit seppuku. He had lost comrades, one of which was by his own hand. He had long carried the monikers of “Cold-Blooded” and “Friend-Killer” because of it. The only person he had managed to find relief in, connect with through their shared sadness, and make smile was shut off from him in a room. Whatever had happened at the waterfall, Kakashi wanted to make amends. But he couldn't if Anko didn't talk to him.
So, he would have to guess. His first thought was that it had something to do with her time as a student of Orochimaru. The only time he ever saw her look the way she did was when he came over months ago to ask for pointers on interrogating the Sannin. Perhaps, he concluded, something had happened there. Or, at a waterfall.
He knew the effect trauma could have. For weeks after Rin’s death, even the sound of birds chirping could cause him to freeze briefly and weaving the hand seals for the Chidori would cause the Sharingan to replay the memories of him driving his arm through her chest.
He held the understanding that what he went through was not on the same level as whatever torture Orochimaru had put Anko through. The man was a sadist and able to slither his way through your mind to find the thing that haunted you most and utilize it to inflict pain. And, he would manipulate you into believing that you had volunteered yourself into that position.
Kakashi walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. The (moderately) expensive ginjo sake he’d bought her a few days ago was still in the refrigerator and unopened. It was best served chilled and by now, the bottle had gotten foggy with condensation. He opened it and poured himself a glass.
He was halfway through it before Anko emerged down the hall. His eye was low and the image of the woman was blurred as she walked up to him.
“Seriously?” she asked. Her tank top was tight on her and seemed to be the only thing she was wearing. That was what Kakashi was paying attention to. Not the anger flaring in her eyes or tone.
“Have a drink,” Kakashi said. It was a struggle to get the sentence out without slurring.
“It would’ve been nice if you fucking made me one,” she replied.
Kakashi blinked at her. His chest burned and couldn’t keep the words in anymore. “Why are you so hellbent on creating a problem when there isn’t one?” He set his glass down as Anko’s brow furrowed. “You left me out here. I didn’t and still don’t know what’s wrong with you because you won’t talk to me. And to be honest, my patience has run the hell out.”
“Fuck you,” Anko replied angrily.
Kakashi stayed seated on the couch and stared her down. “Fuck you.”
“Fuck you,” she said, her face reddening.
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you,” she said, approaching him.
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you,” she said, lifting the tank top over her head. She straddled him. Then kissed him full.
They'd done this many times before. Anko would get drunk after an outing, triggered by something or perhaps nothing at all and bring out a side of Kakashi that he didn't like. It was the side he left on the battlefield and hung up alongside his ANBU uniform and headband. But, it was the side she wanted in moments like this.
She planted her feet on the couch and balanced herself with her left hand. With her right, she pulled his pants down and he let her. She pulled away from their kiss then lathered her index and middle finger in saliva. Her free hand went down to tease him as she hovered mere millimeters above him. He was hard and throbbing for her. Each touch of her hand and every moment he wasn't inside her felt like torture.
And Anko knew it.
When she finally did lower her squat, he slid into her and listened to the music of her inhale and the wet sound of her body welcoming him. Her right hand went to his chin and she forced his gaze up as she bounced.
He felt her, warm and moist, along the length of him. Muscle control and the sake kept him from releasing inside of her immediately. Her body clapped against his in a deep, rhythmic applause.
Then, they switched gears as they'd done many times before. Kakashi stood with Anko in his arms, kissing up and down her body then set her down on the couch. Roughly, he flipped her to her stomach. She laid her right cheek on the couch, looking towards the door as she lifted her hips.
He bent down and licked her, teasing her back and purposely missing where she wanted his tongue to go. When he finally did, she squealed. She was wetter than before when he entered her again.
He didn't do anything fancy. His brain wouldn't allow him. Wolfish instinct and lust turned off the creative parts of his brain. He dug into her, turning the deep applause into slow yet loud claps. After a while, she lifted her head to look back at him, biting her lip as her eyes rolled into her head.
She moaned his name, almost whining. She reached back with her left hand. Her nails dug into his pelvis. The pain made him go harder.
He felt it all flush out of his body as he came. The liquor, his lust, his energy, all of it dripped onto her reddened ass. And then, he felt nothing. While she lay waiting for him to return with a warm, wet cloth, Kakashi felt himself retreat inward.
Anko was satisfied with this. Beyond satisfied from the look in her eye and the lazy way she cleaned herself.
But, Kakashi felt empty.
He sat next to her. Her head rested on a pillow he'd placed on his thigh.
While she slept, his mind raced and he filtered the remnant alcohol fueled thoughts from the ones that screamed his discontent. And it didn't take him long to realize what it was he wanted.
They'd held each other at a distance since their relationship had started. There had been times when he believed something more could happen. Moments when she had been soft or vulnerable. But, no sooner than they came did she quench them. And he had too.
He didn't know why it wasn't enough now. Perhaps, it was the waterfall and the mysterious reason why she refused to stay there or her utter refusal to discuss why. He didn't know when he had become so sentimental, when sex no longer served to fill the void he had.
They had been doing this for years. But, as he looked down at Anko, blushing as she slept, Kakashi came to the sad conclusion that longevity wasn't enough.