Work Text:
“What’s your book about?”
“It's about enemies on opposite sides of war. They time travel a lot.”
“Sounds intense.”
“Mm. It's also a love story.”
“The enemies fall in love with each other?”
“Yeah.”
Liam drops his lacrosse gear unceremoniously on top of his desk. He had stayed behind together with Nolan to talk game strategies and come up with a plan to motivate their teammates to actually put in some effort, which is why it was already kind of late when he finally made his way home.
That had also meant that he missed Theo's departure. He's only mildly annoyed by that, since the chimera would already be back by tomorrow, but still. He would've liked to at least get to kiss his boyfriend goodbye.
(Theo was checking out the potential appearance of a newly bitten beta. They had been searching for them for a while now and were slowly losing hope. It wasn't likely that anything would actually come from this mission, the pack notifying them of the tracks they discovered saying that the scent was old and stale. Still, Theo and Derek had decided to drive to the spot a few towns over anyway, just to make sure.)
Liam thinks about laying down for a nap before eating dinner when he notices a vaguely familiar book on the floor. It must've gotten pushed off his desk by his gear. He picks it up and wonders what Theo's book, which he knew the chimera had recently finished, was doing on Liam's desk.
He flicks through the pages, lets his thumb run over them and watches as the words blur together. He ends up at the beginning and purses his lips at seeing something unexpected there.
The printed dedication reads To you. PS. Yes, you. and Liam almost snorts at how corny it sounds, but he doesn't dwell on it. He's more interested in what's written underneath, since he recognizes Theo's handwriting. It says:
It's yours now.
You're the flesh, I'm the machine.
Nothing more. Only those few words, Liam lacking the context for the latter since he doesn't know the story– yet. He closes the book and studies its cover. Two birds, red and blue.
He frowns and puts the book down, fishing his phone out of his pocket.
L: which ones which?
He supposes he could have worded that differently, be more explicit with what he means, but before he can send another clarifying text, Theo's answer already comes through. Figures that the chimera would understand him anyway.
T: Blue is flesh. Red is machine.
Liam chuckles at the irony of that. Corny, he thinks again and types out his response.
L: wouldnt it make more sense the other way around?
T: Just read the book.
That's fair, Liam reckons and is about to leave it at that when Theo sends him another message.
T: Or don't. Your choice.
He scowls at the offending words. Theo had obviously liked the book, had liked it so much that he had gifted Liam his own copy. And it must've meant something to him, if he had thought about the characters, had assigned them to himself and Liam. There's no way Liam isn't reading this book.
L: ofc ill read it dumbass
And then, he tacks on some more, annoyed by Theo's idiocy.
L: im starting it rn actually
Theo doesn't respond, which the beta doesn't mind. No response usually means that the older boy had read his texts and just didn't see a point in saying anything back. Texting with him is kind of dry, but Liam prefers calling and getting to hear his voice anyway.
Following through on his claim, he picks up the book again and settles down on his bed, trying to find a comfortable position to read in. He's a bit tired after practice, but figures reading a chapter or two won't hurt. It's not like it will take long at all to finish the novel, he assumes, the weight of it light in his hand and the spine thin because of the small amount of pages.
I'm the flesh, Theo's the machine, he thinks to himself, curious to figure out what made the chimera come to that conclusion before beginning to read.
“Honey, haven't you eaten yet?”
Liam looks up, spots his mom leaning against his door frame. “Huh?” He responds and blinks his eyes slowly at her, having to adjust to looking at something other than black ink on white paper. His mom sighs. “I'm gonna bring David his dinner. The rest is on the stove, just go get yourself a plate, yeah?” Liam smiles and says: “Yeah, sure. Thanks, Mom.” She enters his room and leans down a bit, ruffling his hair. The boy endures it and stretches up, leaving a small kiss on her cheek.
“See you later!” He says, not bothering to hide his actual meaning of Please leave, now, thank you! She huffs in amusement and retreats out of his room. She's already halfway down the stairs when he hears her yelling: “And leave some of the food for Theo!”
Liam rolls his eyes and resists the urge to remind her that he has werewolf hearing, which means she really doesn't need to yell. He's pretty sure she remembers that and just liked to do it whenever she wanted to drive her point home. And it's not like he wouldn't have kept some leftovers for Theo. When the older boy had first moved in, Liam had literally made it his mission to feed him warm meals whenever he could.
Thinking of Theo makes him look down at the book again, his finger holding the page he had been on. Ironically, he had just been reading about hunger. About the way Red, the machine, was able to disable the organ, was able to simply shut off the feeling of hunger. How the machine technically didn't need to eat, but still liked to indulge in it.
He thinks of Theo's first week at the Dunbar-Geyer house and how small his portions had been. Only eating enough to barely sustain himself, never taking seconds, never asking for more. As if he had wanted to be cautious to not take too much out of fear that his desire to eat more was unwelcome.
And how his behavior had changed eventually, how he had allowed himself to relax in Liam's home. His meals became bigger, always complimenting the beta’s parents on how good it tasted, and the day the chimera had asked if Dr. Geyer could cook a specific dish that Theo had liked, Liam had grinned so wide his face had started to hurt.
Just a few more pages, Liam thinks.
Just a few more pages, and Liam has to take a break, slowly inhaling and shaking his head.
It's wrong to call you enemy. Thank you. For saving me.
His eyes glide over those sentences again and again. The irony, the coincidence that Blue, the one that Theo thought was like Liam, had turned into a wolf in order to save Red, is not lost on him.
He remembers struggling against the ghost rider's hold in the hospital. He remembers hearing Theo groan and noticing how the chimera’s attacker wasn't hurting him with his whip, but strangling him with his hands. If Theo died like that, he wouldn't go with the wild hunt. He'd be gone in the regular sense. His body wouldn't disappear into a cloud of smoke, it'd simply crumble to the floor. The life pressed out of him, not having been able to breathe.
Theo Raeken, choked to death.
And he remembers how he had wrenched his own attacker’s arm around, grappling for the gun and shooting at the ghost rider that was currently trying to kill Theo. Only after managing to do that, he had shot the other one, letting go of the limp body afterwards.
His favorite part of this memory was the way Theo had smiled at him. That had been one of the first genuine, real smiles he had ever seen from the older boy. Their unfulfilled fist bump suddenly felt a lot like Thank you. For saving me.
He takes another deep breath. He keeps reading.
Throughout the book, both characters keep calling each other different names. I see you as a wave, Red tells Blue. One among many descriptions of where the color blue can be found and Liam thinks of the color of his own eyes. He thinks of how often Theo looks at him. Even before, he remembers feeling the other's gaze on him, but ever since they've been together, it occurred even more often. Whenever Liam turned to the chimera, he found him already staring back at him.
Sometimes, Theo gently took the werewolf’s face into his hands and studied him. Let his eyes glide over the curve of Liam's nose and lips and jaw. Followed that path again and again, as if he was trying to burn the features into his mind. He always spent the longest time staring into Liam's eyes.
What do you see in them? Liam had wondered before.
Bismuth burns blue, and cerium, germanium, and arsenic, Red muses. He spent his whole life being thought of in metaphors of fire. His red-hot anger making people compare him to flames like the sun, like the aftermath of an explosion. He wonders if that familiar fire appears blue to Theo instead. He wonders if he looks at Liam's eyes and sees waves, crashing against the shore.
A raging storm at sea.
I find myself naming red things that aren't sweet, Blue tells Red and Liam thinks of Theo. Ruthless, cold, sarcastic. Dangerous and cunning. Selfless and caring, too, but sweet? Not the first word he'd pick when it comes to the chimera.
Me too, he thinks. He keeps reading and feels his breath catch in his throat a few minutes later. Blue tells Red:
I wish sometimes I could be less fierce with you. No– I feel sometimes I ought to want to be less fierce with you. That this–whatever this is–would be better served by tenderness, by gentle kindness.
He grabs his phone, almost takes a picture of the paragraph to send it to Theo. Remembers that he's reading this because of Theo, contemplates if he should call him instead. He nervously runs his hand through his hair, feels on edge and ridiculous for having such a big reaction over a few words in a book.
He's never felt so seen, so understood by someone else's words. Scott filling in the rest of his sentence, asking Like a monster? during Liam's first full moon had felt the same way. But Scott had been someone he looked up to, a real person in his life. This? This was a science fiction book, a love story. It has no right to touch Liam like this right to his core, to bring forth emotions that he usually buries deep down.
Chewing on his lip, he decides against calling Theo.
What he does end up doing, is taking a picture of the paragraph. Just for himself, for now. He could have marked the page in some way– it is his book after all. That doesn't feel right though. Carelessly damaging a page of the copy that Theo had held and read and then gifted to Liam. Perhaps he'll underline that part instead. The color would surely jump out when skipping through, letting him find it easily. He ponders which color he should use– red or blue– and quietly laughs at himself.
Now I'm being corny.
Embracing that notion, he continues reading.
I love you, Blue. Have I always? Haven't I? When did it happen? Or has it always happened?
Liam's hand trembles and he closes the book, his thumb securely holding onto the page that he hadn't yet finished reading. Did it start for Theo when he had released him from his prison underground? Earlier? The werewolf had never asked. He tucks away the question for later, now certain he is going to finish the novel in one go. He's not about to talk to Theo without knowing how the story ends, and he'd rather have this conversation face-to-face.
It had still been light out when he started, the sun hanging low and covering his room in a soft, orange glow. It's been dark for a while now– he had simply flared his eyes when he noticed the strain on them by having to squint in order to decipher the letters. He had been too immersed, too captivated to put away the book and turn on the light.
He lets his senses reach out and locates his parents’ steady heartbeats, soundly sleeping side by side. The evidence of how long he must've been sitting here just reading reminds him of how hungry and tired he is. I'll just make myself a snack after finishing, he brushes the signs of his body wanting nutrients and rest off. Suppressing a yawn, he picks up again where he had left off.
The scene between Red and her Commandant almost makes Liam throw the book against the wall. He doesn't manage to keep his claws from coming out, the sharp tips scratching the cover and pricking tiny holes through a few pages. Hastily, he drops the book, afraid of damaging it even further. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. He stands up, his limbs complaining about getting stretched out after being in the same position for so long, and stumbles over to his chair.
Immediately on top of it he finds what he's searching for, grabbing Theo's sweater and bringing it up to his nose. Burying his entire face in the fabric, he forces himself to inhale slowly. Taking deep, calming breaths and letting Theo's lingering scent wash over him.
Soap. It's nice, smells good.
Theo still smells of soap, although a different kind. And that he smells good is a drastic understatement. The chimera smells incredible: alluring and comforting and nowadays, always a little bit like Liam. That could be the case since they actually use the same soap now, but it's also because the werewolf is constantly covering Theo. Draping himself over the older boy’s body, scent-marking him by nosing at Theo's bared throat, and also marking him in… other ways.
Breathing in Theo's scent helps him settle in no time, his claws disappearing as if they hadn't sprung out in the first place. He doesn't really need to keep smelling the sweater, but there's no one around to judge, so he indulges for a few more moments. And then, thinking ah, why the hell not, he quickly pulls his own hoodie over his shoulders and puts on Theo's sweater instead. He takes the collar and tugs it up to his nose, taking one last deliberate sniff.
He turns and catches sight of the book on his bed. Frowning, he goes to pick it up, unhappily running his fingertips– with now blunt, human nails– over the scratch marks on it. The cover isn't ruined or anything, but it's definitely noticeable. Theo won't mind, he knows that, but he still feels slightly upset over this unfortunate outcome.
It had been all too similar for Liam. The casually cruel way with which the Commandant tortured a prisoner while talking to Red, not even telling her to rest at ease. The cold, clinical way the Commandant spoke, devoid of any and all emotion. The way Red had described the Commandant. As someone– something– so old, so inhuman that they had simply forgotten how to act like a normal person.
Commandant in Liam's mind appeared to him as a tall, looming figure. Face entirely covered in a mask, consisting of heavy-looking material, screws and tubes and only a few slits functioning as an opening to breathe. He wasn't even sure which one of the three he was envisioning, his addled mind throwing together the memories that had filled his nightmares not so long ago.
Theo didn't talk a lot about the Dread Doctors. Whenever he did mention them, he only ever addressed them as the Doctors. The left out dread always made a shiver go down Liam's spine. It made them sound so regular, almost innocent. It took away the horror of them, of what they did and who they were.
Once, when their relationship had still been very new, Liam had gotten angry at Theo for that. The beta had confronted him and accused him of not properly acknowledging the damage the Dread Doctors had left behind. That Theo maybe didn't understand how fucking terrifying all of that had been. That he should have more empathy.
Theo had narrowed his eyes and left the room without saying a word. Liam had tried to intercept him– of course– Theo's lack of response only adding to his fury, but the chimera had snarled at him so suddenly, so viciously that Liam had been stunned still in surprise. Taking advantage of the werewolf momentarily having frozen, Theo had kicked out his legs from underneath him– another thing Liam hadn't expected– and then slipped out of the room.
Liam had sat there– confused, angry, a little hurt– and listened to the engine of Theo's truck turning on and then the vehicle rolling out of the driveway before speeding off. Theo didn't come home that night. Still angry, he had asked their friends with whom the older boy was staying, planning on getting there without Theo's knowledge so he couldn't run.
When all of them informed him that Theo hadn't shown up at any of their houses, hadn't even contacted any of them, his anger began to lessen and got replaced by worry. It hadn't been that hard to come to a conclusion. The chimera had lived in his truck before moving in with Liam. If he wasn't coming home, it was obvious where he was planning to spend his night. Snatching up the jacket that Theo had left behind– to keep his scent fresh in his nose, Liam told himself and resolutely ignored the way even now the smell of the other boy calmed him– he had left the house and started to track him.
He had found him sitting on the bridge. Theo must've heard him approach, but he hadn't made any moves to get away or stop the beta from coming near. “Can I?” Liam had asked, keeping his distance, not sure if he should step onto the bridge as well. “I don't fucking own it, do I? Someone could take it down and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. You can step on it, tear it apart, I don't care,” Theo had responded. His words betrayed his neutral facade. Even with the lack of emotion in his tone, Liam heard the pain, the bitterness. Liam sat down next to him.
“They're not just the Dread Doctors to me,” Theo had said. That sentence alone had stirred the beta’s previous anger again, but Theo had continued before he had the chance to say anything.
“I grew up with them. I don't view them as, as my caretakers or anything like that, but for all intents and purposes, they still raised me. Gave me a mattress to sleep on and enough food to get by. Other experiments never survived long and I wasn't allowed to talk to those anyway, so if they didn't have a mission for me, they were the only living beings I got to be around.”
He had stopped there and Liam had thought he wouldn't keep going with how long he had stayed silent.
“I know why they're called Dread Doctors. I lived through it. It's all I remember. I just got used to it. Had to, if I wanted to survive. I don't call them the Doctors to piss you off, I call them that because I've been calling them that for half my life.”
Liam hadn't said anything. He hadn't known what to say to any of that. The idea of apologizing for his previous outburst had seemed pathetic and had made him feel all kinds of guilt and shame. Instead, he had stood up and met Theo's eyes when the chimera looked up at him.
“Come home with me?”
Liam had asked, his voice somehow managing to sound soft and firm at the same time.
Theo had let out a wet noise. An incredulous laugh that managed to sound like a sob at the same time.
They had slept curled tightly together that night, limbs crossing over each other and fingers interlaced.
Liam finally turns on the lamp on his nightstand, sits back down– stretching out his legs in front of him this time– and searches for the page he had been on. Finding it, and with one last sigh at the sight of the holes in it, he goes back to reading.
That I should die–fine. But that you should die. That you should suffer. That they should unmake you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Liam thinks of a strong arm suddenly wrapping around his waist, pulling him backwards. He thinks of getting shoved to the ground and staring up at the chimera in confusion, asking in a high-pitched voice What are you doing?
He remembers Theo's lazy smirk, the way he looked back at him when responding Being the bait.
And then Liam throwing his body against the closing elevator door, a desperate No! escaping him without his permission. How he had tried to listen to what was happening to Theo, but the growing distance in between them eventually preventing him from doing so.
Later on the balcony, when an arm against his throat had begun to suffocate him, and then his attacker suddenly letting go of him. His surprise, his relief at seeing Theo alive and well enough to still fight. Theo exclaiming:
I went through all of this to keep you from being taken!
Liam figures he has his answer to his earlier question. He knows when Theo had started to love him. Another question pops up though. Had Theo known back then? Had he acted out of instinct, out of what felt right, or had those been conscious decisions? When had Theo realized?
Certain of his knowledge that the chimera will answer him once Liam asks, he delves into the rest of the book.
“Liam.”
There's a warm hand on his cheek that the werewolf sleepily nuzzles into. He smacks his lips and hums contently when the hand begins to gently card through his hair. Someone chuckles and then the mattress dips down when the person climbs over his body and settles down beside him. That also makes the hand that had been petting him disappear, which Liam is not a fan of. Annoyed, he turns around and is met with the side of Theo's body when groggily opening his eyes.
“You're back already,” he mumbles, his voice heavy with sleep. He scoots even closer and buries his face in Theo's chest. The chimera laughs at him again, but still goes back to playing with Liam's hair when the beta scrabbles for Theo's hand and puts it on his own head, wordlessly asking to be pet. “Did you seriously stay up all night reading?” Liam only gives a noncommittal grunt in response to that.
“Alright. Go back to sleep.” Liam grunts again and then says into Theo's chest: “How ‘id go? ‘ound ‘em?” The older boy sighs. “Nah. No sign of them. Dead end.” The werewolf lifts his head and presses his chin into the other's chest. “Sucks,” he murmurs. “Mm-hm,” Theo agrees and smiles down at him. Liam lifts his head even further and strains his neck, letting his eyes fall shut again. Theo huffs, a fond sound, and indulges him. He leans down to kiss Liam and it's the best feeling in the world. The angle is awful, Liam hasn't brushed his teeth yet and he's still so tired that it's definitely Theo doing all of the work to keep the kiss going at all. Liam loves it.
“Happy?” Theo asks, his amusement extremely obvious in his tone. “Mm,” Liam responds and then lets his head fall back down onto Theo. “Wanted to talk to you ‘bout the book,” he mumbles, already half-asleep again. “Sleep first. We can talk later,” the chimera replies quietly. Theo's words and presence and touch make Liam feel warm all over, lulling him back to sleep. “Love you,” he manages to get out. Soft lips press against his temple. “Love you too,” he hears and then he's gone again.