Chapter Text
CHAPTER ONE
~o~
Severus was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling and counting the number of cracks it had. He carefully looked, trying to spot if any new ones appeared since the last time he was in this exact situation, playing a 'game' that has only one rule: "Try to stay in the game for as much time as he could".
Well, what he could say? It's a simple game... He only needs to lie down and find the next crack in the walls or the ceiling, keep track of the ones he already counted, try not think about how much everything in his body hurts from his last beating, wipe his tears to not blur his eyes to keep counting and try to not lose the game. Because it turns out that the bad part starts when he wins the game and then there's nothing else to do besides lie on his bed feeling the pain in his ribs, the still throbbing ache in his cheeks and the invisible hand squeezing his heart, making him feel empty inside, like there is nothing else to feel beside pain. So losing the game is a good thing because he keeps playing the game again and again from the start, stopping him from thinking of nothing else besides cracks in the walls as there's nothing he could distract his mind with.
When the pain subsides, a few hours later, and he can already feel the numbness overtaking his body and the sleep seeping into brain, is when he finally stops feeling, because by this point he is just so tired… Nothing else matters. When he gets like this, sometimes he ends sleeping for a long while, other times he just lies on the bed, apathetically thinking about his life, thinking about how each day of his sad life passes without nothing notice worth happening. Of course, his lonely routine is broken most of the time by his father… A punch, a cane, an insult. It is has no meaning, no explanation, no stopping.
Oh, Severus thought sadly, he had lost the game again with his wondering thoughts. He wants to restart it, but it's becoming hard to concentrate, to open his eyes and count the numbers… So many numbers and-
His numb mind is brought back to the present by a familiar scream.
Severus sighs.
So the pain he endured for defending his mother was again meaningless... Why did he try? Oh, yes, the sentiment of trying to defend his mother. But why does he still has it? They just lead to pain! She never reacts, she never acts or try to escape with him to some better place! Why she keeps living here and makes Severus live here with her?!
Another scream forces him out of the loop of angry thoughts he had wandered again into.
Today is his tenth birthday and it was not celebrated or remembered by anyone besides his own mother. He's sure his father stopped caring after his sixth and his mother trying to cook a decent cake to celebrate after last year disaster.
Severus thought about unfair his life was. So many kids had their parents pampering them on their birthdays, why he was cursed with the parents he has? Sometimes he wonder why he was even born in the first place...
Sometimes he wishes he could just disappear and never come back… But the question is where to. Where he could go? To the cold London streets? A poor orphanage? To the streets of the wizarding world? Every single option he has thought about, leads to a worst life despite having the benefits of being away from his father.
Severus knows that there's muggleborns people and he wonders if his life wouldn't be easier if his father didn't know about magic at all. Because there are kids who doesn't know they are muggleborns themselves, still has their bursts of accidental magic, but they have good lives with their family... Severus knows this because he has a pretty close example who lives near him. Last month, when he went out to a walk - he actually went out to find the best place he could escape his father - he saw a curious scene: two girls, sisters who lived nearby, fighting because one of them had done something unexplainable and the other thought she was pretending to do it to get attention.
As Severus heard them shouting at each other, he was sure the youngest girl was a witch but neither knew or understood. But he's sure that even if the envious little muggle makes the witch's life a living hell he doubt it could be worse than his, because he has seen their family and they are really nice parents... At that time, when he was watching the fight, he almost went to the redhead girl to say she was actually a witch and not a freak like the other girl was sputtering. But he didn't bother to do it, he was too shy and awkward for him to try and participate in fights with other people.
Well, he did kind of feel guilty about it now. He should have talked to the other girl and explained the little he knew about magic… However, as he went to search for her a few days later in their public school, he saw the girl with a group of snobby friends and his guilt feelings vanished in seconds.
A door being slammed shut brought Severus back to the present. The noise was loud and it felt near him, so Severus knew from experience that both of his parents are now inside their bedroom. Sighing, he knew it was all right for a few minutes to go downstairs and look for something to eat and make it pass as a diner. Carefully, because it was still a bit difficult to leave his bed, mindful of his hurting ribs, he opened his bedroom's door slowly, paying attention to his parents' voice even if he could only hear the sounds of abuse he wished he could block and never listen to it again.
Going to the kitchen takes much longer than usual and when he finally gets there, he silently puts a kettle on the stove to boil water for a tea and searches quickly for some scrap of food that wouldn't be missed. Unfortunately for him, he took a lot of time to find something to eat that wasn't raw or needed cooking. He had seen his breakfast biscuits, but he knew it was the best to leave those for his breakfast and find something else right now. He found a piece of bread hidden in a pot which he immediately put inside his shirt and went back to look at the kettle.
He knows he was pushing his luck by brewing himself a cup of tea, but he just couldn't stomach to eat stale bread with cold water right now. After finishing brewing his cuppa, he quickly started to put everything back into their places.
However, Severus wasn't fast enough.
When he starts to leave the kitchen with his tasteless piece of bread and his hot beverage, he hears the familiar sound of his father's heavy footsteps making the steps of the stairs creak noisily.
Thinking fast, not knowing if his father was heading to the kitchen or the living room, Severus runs to the basement, trying to be careful to not burn his fingers or spill any tea on the ground. The basement's door was right beside the kitchen's entrance which could be seen from the stairs, but Severus took the gamble. Opening and closing the door as quickly as he could, he almost cried with happiness when the door didn't creak loud, because by rule everything in this house creaks.
In the dark and completely silent, Severus listens as the man heads towards the kitchen. Severus is so focused he almost jumps when his father's voice sounds next to the basement's door, awfully close to him, complaining about not having good food prepared for him by his good for nothing wife.
Trying not to listen to his father insulting his mother, Severus looked around himself and found, with the help of the poor light from the kitchen brightening the room, the basement's lamp switch-chord in the small wall that ended just after the first five steps. After switching it on, he went down the stairs being as silent as he could, going further into the badly illuminated room.
Blood rushing in his ears and heart drumming, he quickly realizes there's nowhere to hide if his father decides to open the basement's door. So he tries to stay calm, supporting himself on the handrail for a moment before looking for a place he could wait and stay hidden. Analyzing the room, the only good place is beside and underneath the stairs where he could almost be safe if father bursts through the door.
It was in this moment that the strangest thing happened in Severus's short life.
As he steps away from the stairs to look at the place it seemed perfect to remain hidden, the small space under the stairs, he suddenly feels a voice in his head ordering him to look somewhere else because there's nothing there.
Severus was utterly bewildered.
He has always prided himself for being a grown up child. His brain was amazing in memorization, calculation and logic. He is a smart kid. So knowing he is a smart kid, he knows that there has to be a place underneath the stairs and there's no questioning or reasoning. A stair won't float in it's own!
Severus frowns at the weird sensation and forces himself to look again and is immediately reminded that there's nothing there as he eyes change direction on their own.
Bullshit.
There's something definitely something suspicious here.
Severus takes a deep breath as he tries to concentrate and think of nothing as he lets his eyes travel to the place underneath the stairs and tries to look. The voice is like an echo now, not as strong. He realizes he can't exactly see anything beside a dark blur so he decides he needs to get closer.
But as he attempts to come closer, the voice keeps trying to get his attention again, getting louder and louder. He feels extremely dizzy, he feels like he can't control his eyes and his brain can't understand anything he sees. But he is nothing but stubborn. He keeps himself relaxed, his mind empty as he just focus in walking himself near the stair until the moment he finally stands in front of the wall and touches it. And just like that, the voice is gone. All the wrong sensations stops and he is normal again, just standing there, a cup of tea on one hand another hand on the wall. Curiously, Severus looks at what was an unknown mass before: there was three ordinary trunks bellow the stairs.
Well, that was weird...
Confused for only noticing them now, he touches them, making sure they are real and sturdy before decides to use one to sit, making use of their hidden place. He shrugs and starts to relax a little because thank god he wasn't caught and still had time to grab something to eat.
Eating and drinking slowly, Severus ponders for the nth time why he was not allowed to come down here in the basement. It's not even locked, he just learned to not come here after suffering a beating from his father and terrible scolding from his mother. He was not permitted to enter at all until last year and the whole three times he came here was only to help his mother just to clean the stairs.
So that's why after finishing his tea, he starts to look at everything that was stored in this room.
"Why would mother and father never allowed me in here? There must be something..." Severus complains in a whisper. He looks around the room just to make sure he isn't missing anything out of ordinary beside the trunks he is sitting on, there was definitely something suspicious about them. He was still confused about what had just happened with him, but it must be something related to magic.
Severus frowns while looking with curiosity at the trunks. He had never seen them in his life and has a very logical guess that his mother didn't want him to find them. But if anything this only makes him sure that he's going to find something good inside them. He tries to guess the contents but can't come with any idea, so not wasting any more time, he jumps from where he is sitting on and unlocks the first trunk and is greeted by the sight of dozens and dozens of books!
But the strange thing is that the spine of the books are the size of a pen. Without thinking twice he goes for a random book, but the moment he grabs the book and pulls it out, the feel of the book and its look does not match at all. It's not until the book is out of the trunk when he sees the size of the book growing and matching what he feels in his hand!
"This a magical book!" Severus is so happy he can almost cry. He looks the title of the book and confirms he was right: The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 3, it's really a magical book! From the title he guesses this is his mother's magical books from when she was a student. Putting the book in the same vacant spot, he watches it re-sizes itself in front of his eyes! He gets two more books before he convinces himself that all the books have magic and aren't just that thin as it appears like an illusion.
Upstairs in the kitchen, his father shouts to his mother again and Severus winces, remembering why he ended up here in the first place.
Deciding to look at the books later, he'll read every book in that trunk if he can, he goes immediately to look the contents of the next trunk. And as soon as he opens it, he's amazed by all the strange things there are inside it as well ordinary like brushes, mirrors and diaries. He looks at the possible magical things more eagerly, but doesn't dare to touch anything yet so he chooses to grab the most innocent looking of all of them: a rectangular black box. Opening it he sees a black wood twig that is- This is a wand! He has only seen it in two or three glances in a much earlier childhood, when his mother still talked about magic and had told him many magical stories. He was certain, a beautiful polished wood inside this old trunk in the middle of his mother's magical things… It is definitely his mother's wand.
He grabs the wand carefully with his right hand and as soon as his skin touches the wood, a rush of feelings run through his body, a cold breeze like sensation involving him as in a hug while his heart fills with warmth and his fingertips tingles, making him giggle with glee. All of this during no more than a few seconds but it was unquestionably the best feelings he had ever felt! How his mother could turn away from this to live with a man who despises magic?
Severus takes a breath and tries to think more clearly, running his tongue over his chapped lips, he tries to ponder if it's worth the punishment for his mother finding the wand with him if she looks for it. Well, he can't exactly do magic… For a person to do magic, they have to study to control their magic and he needs to go to school for that.
With the wand still clasped in his hand, he peeks inside the third trunk finding a lot of clothes, some shoes and hats, but nothing too interesting… So he soon closes its lid and promptly return to the trunk with books in it.
He tries to read the titles of the books while they still are in their smaller size, but it's completely impossible. So he chooses again a random book and eagerly reads its title: Beautifying Charms for a Young Witch by Iggy Gergilin.
"Ewww, no! Why, mother?!" Severus complains with a disgusted voice.
Well, not the best luck with this first book. Putting it back in place, he goes for the next random book: Charms and Spells for Newlyweds without House-Elves: Maintaining a Home by Arcturus Briffin. Severus huffed feeling frustrated, there isn't a single useful book! Not particularly happy about the book subject, he still doesn't put it away and decides to at least skim it a little because House-Elves! What are those? Do elves truly exist?
As he reads the first page, disappointment starts to creep in, because there's no mention of Elves! But after reading the books contents page, he has to admit that most of chapters contains a lot of useful stuff that could be really good to learn… If they are really as useful as they look to be. He reads it again to be sure.
CONTENTS
1. Overview
1.1 Cleansing Previous Magic
1.2 Planning the Usage of Rune Rocks or Self-Sustaining Spells
1.3 Choosing Between Charms and Spells
1.4 Why Using Layers is The Best Option
2. Temperature Control
3. Cleaning
4. Monitoring
5. Organization
6. Solutions for Specifics Rooms
6.1 Kitchen
6.2 Library
6.3 Nursery
6.4 Bedroom
6.5 Bathroom
6.6 Garden
7. Fixing and Repairing
He doesn't want to hope too much, but if he could at least learn to do magic to give some small comforts to his life like keeping his room warm during dire winters… He could be a much happier person.
Leaving the book and the wand in the floor besides where he is kneeling, he searches for more useful books. But after a few lame books, he's already losing track of which books he picked. So instead of picking random books he will work by position order: starting by the top left, he picks the first book and finds The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 1! Holding a happy squeak, because he does not squeak, he puts the good find in his goodies pile. One soon followed by another and few others, he has separated seven books before stopping himself… Because how is he going get all of them to his room and keep them hidden? Seven books is a good start.
Closing and locking the trunks just like he found them, Severus puts the wand inside his pants and with some struggle he holds the pile of books. Walking slowly because his extra charge, he climbs the stairs, switch off the light and tries to peek through the key's hole of the door. Unfortunately, he can't see anything of the kitchen, only the living room. So he puts the books back on the floor and sit on top of them to wait for signs to see if his father has left the kitchen already and if he is still on the living room or not.
He wakes with a start, looking around for what could have caused the loud sound that woke him up. Finding himself still pressed against the door, he realizes with relief that the source of the noise was his father drunkenly kicking the chairs at the table. A good sign for Severus, because Tobias every now and then likes to kick things before going to sleep.
Several minutes later, Severus's father finally walks back to his room and make the path clear for Severus to leave the basement, which he quickly does and walks as fast as he dares. When he finally locks himself in his room, he relaxes, sighing. Knowing that he needs to be careful, he hides the books by covering them with a threadbare sheet under his bed.
That night he sleeps with a smile on his face after a long while.
~o~
Despite his stuffy nose, shattering teeth and frozen bones, Severus wakes up that morning feeling like dancing. Which is odd, because he had never danced in his life. But anyway… Magic! He'll learn magic! He knew that magical children attend school after they turn eleven, but he has just turned ten and is already in possession of the magical books. So there's no stopping him from learning it.
Going downstairs to only drink water and make a hot tea to drink while reading, Severus runs back to his bedroom and cracks opens the book the Grade 1 book about spells and he reads it carefully. Understanding what a spell really is, how it is different from a charm, how wizards practice spells... He absorbs all the information as if he was a sponge.
Reading magic being explained just like how you'd study math is a surreal concept for Severus. But he understands everything, clear as day. And he dares to hope that he can actually perform magic without a teacher or his mother teaching him.
He is pretty sure he dreams about the spells and diagrams he had spent the whole day studying. But next morning he wakes up feeling like on a mission. He grabs the book he hopes to read about the spells he wished he could perform. It's not like he doesn't find Wingardian Leviosa spell interesting, sure, it must be fun to make things float. But he wants his magic to do something useful to him. At this moment, the spells he needs the most is definitely temperature control.
Reading carefully the whole first chapter of the book, not understanding more than the half of the words and concepts, he reads with double care the second chapter. It's then he gets excited because the books not only talks about the spells but they also teach you to do it. It's then that he comes across the best and simple spell he can cast in his room: Commodus Esttemperatus. Reading its correct pronunciation then he sees three small boxes that he already understood it shows the movement of the wand.
After repeating the spell out aloud a dozen times and practicing the movements with a pen, Severus looks at his mother wand and he is filled with so much yearning, he feels like he will go crazy.
Could he actually do it?
Is doing magic just that simple?
Learn how to pronounce the spell, memorize the movements and then just cast it?
He has a difficult time trying to stay calm as he grabs his mother's wand for the second time in his life. He doesn't get that nice reaction like he got from the first time, but he can feel that the wood in his hand is alive.
He feels prepared to cast the spell.
"Commodus Esttemperatus", says Severus confidently while doing the precise movements with the wand, pointing it to the ceiling after casting as the instructions said.
Nothing happens.
He casts the spell again… And a third time.
The results are all the same: nothing.
This is all wrong! It's odd, he has read the instructions so carefully. If he was any other child he would probably be angry and grumpy right now. But it's not his personality. Because it doesn't work, he knows he must do better. He focus on reading everything again.
Trying to think about what he should do to try to make it right, he grabs his pen and carefully goes to the bathroom to see for himself if his movements are the same as the pictures in the book. He only goes back to his bedroom when he is sure, he is doing it right.
Back to his room, he grabs the wand again and thinks again that he doesn't feel that same sparkle like he felt on the first time. But then something in his brain clicks, because previously, when he was saying the spell, he didn't feel anything at all. He was holding the wand as if he was still holding the pen. So Severus carefully prepares himself to cast the spell again, but this time trying to focus in really connecting his feelings to the wand.
This time, when Severus casts the spell he knows it will definitely work as soon as he finishes saying it while he points the wand to the ceiling. It's not abrupt, but the temperature raises from its ridiculous freezing number to what's supposed to be: the comfortable room temperature of 75°F(24°C) as the spell said it would and it will remain like this until next day.
Feeling like he could fly, Severus cuddles with the wand in his bed and enjoys the lack of freezing air with glee. He lays lazily in the bed for some minutes before he gathers courage to pick the book and read it from the start again.
The best part of the book is that each mention of a spell or a charm has alongside it the correct pronunciation, intonation and its wands movements.
A couple of hours later when he starts to feel starved and his belly aching, he checks the clock and seeing it's already 2:15pm, way past lunch time, he tucks the wand and books away and go downstairs to see if his mother has prepared something for lunch. So as he arrives in the kitchen and sees it in the same state since last night, a statement that his mother hadn't even left her room, he tries not to feel too much disappointment and goes to fix something for himself. His only consolation is that he's going to test a spell he read about it in the book: Engorgio. Although in the book it was used as example to enlarging fruits for decorations purposes, he wonders if he can cast it in one of the few butter cookies he is allowed to eat for breakfast/lunch and make it huge!
He explodes two cookies.
He is mortified of his failure as he searches the table for the little pieces of food to eat and not waste them even more.
After cleaning the table and making sure no messy could be seen, he stares at what he was left with.
He now only has two cookies and a dry biscuits to eat with a cup of milk. He can't waste food, but he needs to think about whether or not he is able to cast such spell... He forces himself to really concentrate on the incantation and not give up or he'll be hungry until dinner. Using his mind eye to create a huge cookie, he focus on this visualization as he casts the charm a third time.
It works!
Severus is extremely pleased with himself as he looks at his mouth-watering melon sized butter cookie! Without reservations, but still not sure if it will be tasty, he grabs it with his two hands for support and bite a large chunk. The sweet cookie melts in his mouth and is as delicious as the original cookie!
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Severus chanted almost deliriously as he keeps eating his tasty and giant cookie! He giggles feeling so much like the ten years old he is but sometimes forgets.
It's definitely the best day of Severus life.