Chapter Text
Katie Marie Whistler is six years old and she doesn’t believe in soulmates.
Which is how she finds herself sitting outside the principal's office with tissues stuffed up her bleeding nose.
There are dark spots marring her light dress that weren't there when she put it on this morning.
Noah told her the dress itself was robin's egg blue, the knee socks she’d paired with it apparently neon orange.
When her mother first saw Kate’s ensemble, she’d turned to Noah and immediately chastised him for ‘allowing your sister to clash so horrendously when you know better’.
But Kate liked the way the two varying shades of grey complimented each other and Noah’s support for his little sister was unconditional.
In the end their mother had rolled her eyes and pursed her lips but hadn't made Kate change.
And when Noah leaned over and whispered in her ear like they were the only two people in the world, telling her that he liked that color combination no matter what anyone else said, she briefly wondered if the glow of pride she felt had a color of its own.
There was something special about being on the same wavelength when they couldn’t even see the same wavelengths.
Kate didn’t give her outfit any further thought as she skipped into class. Neither did her classmates.
No one in Kate’s grade could see full fledged colors yet. It wasn’t exactly uncommon to find your soulmate so young but it wasn’t the norm either.
Noah was proof of that after all, even as he was a prime example of how the process was not infallible.
Little kids weren’t exactly known for an absence of chaos and by the time an adult had realized his soulmate connection had been made it was already too late.
Noah’s unidentified soulmate may have contributed to Kate’s disbelief in the concept but it wasn’t the true source of it.
The thing was everyone Kate knew could see colors.
She was taught that the whole world existed in washed out hues of primary color that only would sharpen and brighten expanding into the full color spectrum when a person met their soulmate but those were still colors no matter how dull.
Her big brother could see the full color spectrum even if he didn’t know who his soulmate actually was.
Her mom could even see extra colors. Though that was balanced out by her dad who was colorblind. They often said it was just another way the two of them were perfectly matched, two sides of a weird coin.
Sometimes her dad jokingly accused her mom of stealing the blues and yellows he struggled with, the shades he couldn’t naturally see.
Kate didn’t get it though. She’d never seen a color muted or otherwise during her short six years on earth.
Her world existed in blacks and whites and greys.
She used to spend hours commiserating with the family dog Barkanine (the name Noah's handiwork) since no one else believed her most of the time let alone understood.
Until her friend Sarah told her dogs seeing in black and white was only a myth.
Then Kate felt truly alone.
Noah did what he could to help, he couldn’t fully understand but he never made her feel bad.
In fact he made her feel like a superhero.
And still flying high from their morning interactions Kate didn’t think twice about openly contradicting Patricia Ford on the playground.
That was her mistake.
The sun was shining down on Patricia, holding her usual court near the rope bridge, bathing her in a heavenly light.
Kate had a perfect vantage point from where she was sitting lazily dragging her feet in the dirt under the swings. She wasn't even paying any particular attention, it was just that, well Patricia was loud. A gaggle of starry eyed elementary schoolers hung on her every word as she regaled them with a dramatic retelling of her older sister’s newly acquired soulmate.
Only, Noah shared a class with the girl in question and he’d told Kate that Vicky Ford was definitely lying. He’d asked her if she wanted to pair up for an art project since they could both see colors and while she agreed he noticed pretty quickly she wasn’t able to distinguish between any of the vibrant hues he’d started to lay out.
It was yet another piece of evidence against believing in soulmates as far as Kate was concerned.
Noah hadn’t told anyone but his sister even though he was disappointed but something flared in Kate as she listened to Patricia perpetuate the lie.
“He’s not her soulmate.”
A single bird caw punctuated sudden and unnatural silence as all heads swiveled in her direction.
Kate couldn’t say who was more surprised by her sudden outburst Patricia, the growing crowd of onlookers, or Kate herself.
Her big brother's kind, almost black eyes flashed in her mind. Kate decided to stand her ground.
Figuratively and literally as she stood up from the swingset.
Still she didn’t want to throw her brother under the bus so she’d simply said that soulmates didn’t exist when challenged about her declaration.
Patricia called her freak right before her small fist flew towards Kate's face.
The next thing Kate knew she was staring up at the clear gray sky, more from the shock of the blow than the force of it.
A second later someone yelled, "Teacher!" and everyone fled except Kate who’s brain hadn’t quite caught up with current events.
Mr. Goodwin unfortunately for Kate was of the belief that children should be seen and not heard.
Why someone like that worked in an elementary school, Kate didn't understand. And still wouldn't even once she was an adult herself.
So instead of looking for the culprit or asking what happened or following any of the rules of his job as an ambassador of the youth. He just went ahead and hauled Kate to her feet, marching her to the principal's office to be dealt with as per the school's 'zero tolerance policy' regarding violence.
The secretary, Mrs. Lee had given Kate the tissues that staunched the flow of blood. Far from impressed with Mr. Goodwin’s handling of the situation, Mrs. Lee fretted long after he left without a care. She fussed over Kate, apologizing for being unable to summon the school nurse who had called in sick herself that day.
She took care of Kate to the best of her limited ability, even easily handing over a copy of the school’s rule handbook at Kate's request despite the confused expression on her face.
A bell rings and the previously empty hall fills with people, tired teachers trying to corral children still high on their tiny slice of freedom back into order.
Older kids and adults alike stream in and out of the office to her right.
Kate, head tilted slightly back, observes from her place on the worn wooden bench outside the office door.
No one really gives her a passing glance but Kate watches the masses as they walk by.
How many of them could easily distinguish the blood on her clothes from something like leftover lunch?
Kate knows that blood is red. Distinctly so with full color vision. Just because she’s never seen the striking color doesn’t mean she doesn’t know the basics.
More than the basics really thanks to Noah.
Knowing doesn’t really change things though. Kate heaves a sigh far too big for a tiny body and tries to focus on the words printed across the page.
Kate likes words, loves reading, she made Noah practice endlessly with her until she graduated from picture books to chapters gloriously filled with unillustrated pages.
She’s reading three grade levels ahead of everyone in her class but all Kate really cares about is that the books are supposed to be black letters filling up white paper.
Even so there are a lot of words in this student handbook she needs to either look up later or ask Noah for their meanings.
She mostly just wants to find the section on this zero tolerance policy for violence that unfairly didn’t seem to apply to Patricia. Kate hadn't bloodied her own nose after all yet she was the only one sitting here.
If Mr. Goodwin was going to try and use rules to punish her for something she didn’t do. Well Kate is determined to fight back within the bounds of said rules. It didn’t seem fair to her that Mr. Goodwin could just use the rules however he felt like using them. That was the opposite of why rules existed Kate was sure.
In the end it doesn’t matter. Her mother sweeps into the building, silencing her no matter how hard she tries to defend herself.
Kate’s resigned to begging Noah to take her to the library so she can type up the entire counterargument she’s mentally drafted with assistance from the rule handbook.
Surely her mom will have to listen if she presents it like the rulebook, won’t be able to dismiss her just because she’s a kid if she borrows the power of written words.
(Mrs. Whistler does not in fact listen. A lot of fights going forward end with an exasperated 'if you like arguing so much become a lawyer but until then my word is final.')
Her mom lectures her the whole way home. Seemingly more concerned that Kate said she didn’t believe in soulmates rather than the fact that she had been physically assaulted. Kate can't figure out how her mom even knows what she’d said about soulmates given the fact that all the witnesses scattered.
The elder Whistler is so caught up in her tirade she doesn’t even realize the lesson Kate is absorbing isn't one she’d meant to teach.
It will be years before Kate learns the word compartmentalization but she employs it on that car ride home for the very first time nonetheless.
Kate stares out the window watching the trees blur into a monotonous sea of streaking gray. And with her mom’s recriminations ringing loudly in her ears and doubts heavy in heart- Kate takes all of that pain, and uncertainty, and condemnation, and shoves it all into a little box and then pushes the box to the furthest corner of her mind focusing only on what she can control.
She turns a page and keeps reading.