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Jisung stares straight ahead at Minho’s back. Their teacher is droning on about rational functions, but it’s Friday, and this is the last period, and Jisung just wants to go home and curl up on the couch with Minho. 

Without moving his head from where it rests in his left palm, Jisung’s eyes move over to the clock on the wall. Ten minutes left. Holding his pencil in his right hand, he touches the half-gone eraser to Minho’s back. It’s light, but he knows Minho can feel it. Bored and antsy for the bell to ring, Jisung begins to draw little shapes on Minho’s back with the eraser side of his pencil. Minho doesn’t move, of course, but Jisung takes pride in knowing that it’s probably all he can think about now. 

Circles turn into triangles, which turn into stars, which turn into hearts. Minho takes a deep, annoyed breath, and Jisung smirks to himself. He finally retracts his hand. 

“How about…” Their teacher starts. “Minho, do you know the answer to this one?” 

Minho hesitates to answer, meaning he absolutely does not know, but what can he do? He can’t just say that he wasn’t able to pay attention because his boyfriend was messing around with him. 

“I’m not sure…” Minho answers. 

“Really?” The teacher asks. Not only is Minho surprisingly good at math, but he’s arguably one of the best in the class, so it is a little strange. “Well, to solve, you first have to take the—” 

The bell rings. 

Jisung quickly shoves his things into his backpack and stands up, eager to get home. He waits for Minho to get his things together, and together, they leave the classroom. 

The halls are full of teenagers, eager to make the most of their weekend—the final weekend before winter break starts in a week. When they make it outside, Minho and Jisung begin their walk to Jisung’s house. 

“Thanks for embarrassing me back there,” Minho says.

Jisung looks over at him. “I didn’t know you were even capable of embarrassment, honestly.” 

Minho hums before pulling his hand out of his jacket pocket. He gently tugs on Jisung’s sleeve until his hand comes out of his pocket as well and takes it into his own hand, intertwining their fingers. Jisung glances back behind them. Not many people at their school live in Jisung’s direction, so there are hardly any people around. Feeling more confident, Jisung lets himself drift a little closer to Minho on the sidewalk. 

“When’s your mom coming home?” Minho asks. 

“The usual time,” Jisung answers. “So, we’ll have a couple hours alone.” 

Minho nods slowly. “Any plans…?” 

Jisung gives him a look. “Do you have plans?” 

“Well… you know, it’s been a while.” 

Jisung’s brows furrow as he tries to think. “It’s been, like, four days.” 

“That’s a long time,” Minho says, laughing sheepishly. 

Jisung laughs at his audacity. “Do you know how lucky you are that my mom works a lot? For every other couple at school, it’s much harder to get time alone, you know. Not to mention the sleepovers.”

Minho shrugs. “Sucks to be them, then.” 

“You’re really shameless.” Jisung laughs. “I thought you wanted to show me that show… What was it? About the kid who accidentally kills the mayor or something?” 

Minho gives him a look. “He kills the president, first of all.”

“Sorry.”

“Second,” Minho continues, “it’s kind of insulting you think I would rather watch anime than get laid.”

Jisung laughs as he looks around to confirm again that no one’s around to hear. “Well, we’re both eighteen now, so you could just go and buy—”

“Don’t even,” Minho says. 

Jisung laughs again. “We’ll see… You know, during math, I was thinking about cuddling with you on the couch, just for the record.” 

“Well, during math, I was thinking about math until someone distracted me,” Minho returns.

Jisung smiles. 

Once they get to Jisung’s house, both teenagers are quick to remove their shoes and jackets and haphazardly drop their bags in the entryway before rushing into the living room to plop down on the couch. Jisung turns the television on as Minho leans over and wraps his arms around his waist. He pulls up Netflix to search for Minho’s new favorite anime, but then Minho is gently turning his face to kiss him. 

The kiss is soft and slow. It’s almost always like this—kissing as soon as they’re alone, and if Minho doesn’t do it, then Jisung usually will. Minho’s kisses always feel so right and good, and sometimes, Jisung wonders how they didn’t start dating right after the very first one. He kisses Minho back, the remote waiting forgotten in his hand. 

Minho breaks the kiss, but he trails a few more pecks on Jisung’s cheek before fully pulling away. Jisung’s tongue automatically darts out to touch his own lips, already missing the feeling of Minho’s on them. He tries to return his attention to the television but almost immediately abandons ship in favor of looking back at Minho. 

Minho sits beside him, one arm still lazily wrapped around his waist. His black hair contrasts with the color of his skin, untanned due to the lack of sun this time of year. He was looking at the television, but now, he brings his eyes to meet Jisung’s. They stare at each other for a moment before Minho speaks.

“Changing your mind now?” 

Jisung places the remote onto the coffee table. “Let’s go upstairs.” 

He tries to stand, but Minho tugs him back down. “Why not here?”

“I’m not doing it on my mom’s couch,” Jisung says, “and there’s no lube here, either.” 

“Don’t need it,” Minho says. 

Jisung’s brows furrow. “We absolutely do need it, are you cra—”

The last syllable dies in Jisung’s throat when Minho carefully pushes him back to lie on the couch and quickly covers him with his body. Wordlessly, Minho makes a place for himself between Jisung’s legs and grinds down against Jisung’s crotch. 

“We haven’t done this in a while,” Minho explains finally, grinding down a second time. 

Jisung feels himself rapidly hardening, more so at Minho’s attention and the anticipation than the limited stimulation. “It would be better without pants. Let’s go upstairs, Minho, there’s more room.” 

With a cute, disappointed huff, Minho climbs off him. Jisung stands up and gives him an apologetic peck on the lips before leading him upstairs to his bedroom. 

Jisung flicks on the lights, and Minho goes right for the drawer that he keeps a couple hand towels in for when Minho comes over. He tosses one onto the bed, then comes over to Jisung to kiss him. 

Jisung fists at Minho’s shirt, torn between removing it and keeping Minho’s lips on his. Fortunately, Minho makes that decision for him, briefly pulling away to remove his shirt, quickly followed by Jisung’s sweater. When they kiss again, Jisung steps closer to press himself against Minho. 

Minho’s hands wander, running down his back then coming back up to caress his waist. Jisung’s hands roam further, though, slipping into the elastic waistband of Minho’s sweatpants. He brazenly palms Minho’s large bulge through his underwear. 

Minho backs them up to Jisung’s bed, pushing Jisung a little to sit down on it. He rids himself of his pants, leaving only his black underwear, before reaching to Jisung to pull his pants off too. Embarrassingly, Jisung chose to wear heart-printed underwear this morning, which gets a small, amused exhale out of Minho. 

“My mom got them for me for my birthday as a gag gift,” Jisung explains quickly, refusing to allow the moment to be ruined. 

He tries to pull Minho down to the bed, but instead of covering him like earlier, Minho resists. He flips Jisung over to lay on his stomach, then lifts his hips to place the towel underneath him before laying atop him.
“Really, this?” Jisung asks. “You think just humping my ass is going to make me cum?”

“Yep,” Minho says with so much confidence that Jisung might actually believe him. 

Without any additional preamble, Minho lightly grinds against Jisung’s ass. Jisung can feel Minho’s hard cock sliding against him through their underwear. It’s hot, sure, but it’s definitely not going to make him cum; it’s just a silly simulation of something so much better. Then, Minho presses against him more and begins to thrust harder. The added force of it pushes Jisung’s body further into the mattress, which stimulates his cock from where it’s trapped between his body and the bed. 

It’s times like these when Jisung has to wonder if Minho is some sort of genius or if he himself is just that clueless. 

Minho humps him again, and a short moan comes out of Jisung. 

“You can cum from this, can’t you?” Minho asks teasingly. 

Grabbing at the covers below, Jisung rolls his eyes since Minho can’t see him, anyway. He pushes his ass back against Minho, but Minho holds him still to keep him pressed flat to the bed. Evil, he’s absolutely evil, trying to make Jisung prove him right. Still, Jisung lets himself be held still without a fight, and a content sigh leaves his lips. 

Still pushing him into the bed with each grind against his ass, Minho leans down closer over Jisung’s body. “Tell me how it feels, baby,” he says near Jisung’s ear, voice nice and low.

Another bout of arousal pools in Jisung’s gut at Minho’s words—or, that word, in particular. “Good…?” Jisung tries to say, but with his voice pitched a little higher due to the stimulation, it comes out with an upwards inflection as if it’s a question.

Minho laughs a little from behind him. “My pretty baby, you’ll tell me before you cum all over yourself, won’t you?”

Jisung just moans quietly in response, and Minho presses a kiss to his bare shoulder. 

“You always sound so pretty, Jisung,” Minho says, and Jisung can hear that he’s a little breathless already. “Love the way you make those sounds for me.” 

“Minho, please,” Jisung begs out of habit before even thinking about exactly what it is that he wants. 

Instead of responding, Minho just sucks a hickey into the back of Jisung’s shoulder. 

Jisung reaches a hand back to grab Minho. It lands on Minho’s ass, and Jisung squeezes, wanting to spur him on further. It works, and Minho speeds up. 

“Love your ass,” Minho praises quietly. “‘s so hard not to stare.” 

“Yeah?” Jisung pants out. “That nice?” 

“Better than nice,” Minho continues. “It’s perfect, and it’s all you.” 

“Fuck me,” Jisung begs. “Please, I wanna feel you.” 

“Can’t feel this?” Minho asks rhetorically as his thrusts become semi-frantic and wild. 

Jisung is being jostled on the bed more now, and the pleasure on his cock continues to build up slowly. It feels good, but it’s not intense enough. He wants to be overwhelmed and full of Minho in every sense. He wants Minho to take him apart and then put him back together afterward.

But Minho’s always had more of an appreciation for nuance and mood than him. 

Jisung’s other hand is still gripping the covers, and Minho’s hand lands atop it. He laces their fingers, ever the romantic. 

“Jisung…” Minho moans near his ear. “I love you.”

Jisung whines at his words. “Love you too… Love you too…!”

“Wanna make you cum,” Minho pants. “Will you cum for me? Please, baby?”

Jisung’s back tries to arch, but it can’t with Minho's weight keeping him pressed to the bed. Warm pleasure spreads through Jisung’s body until it suddenly hits him. Uncontrolled noises leave him as he shudders underneath Minho. 

Minho thrusts a few more times, working him through the last waves of his orgasm before pausing, pressed against him as hard as he reasonably could be. After just a couple of seconds, Jisung can feel wetness begin to seep through the front of Minho’s underwear. 

Still on top of him, Minho lays limp, quietly panting. He gets to be a little heavy after a while, but Jisung doesn’t complain. Somehow, it’s comforting to be this close and covered by him. 

Once he catches his breath, Minho slowly rolls off. “Sorry.”

Jisung turns his head to watch Minho stand up. So at home in Jisung’s house, Minho walks over to Jisung’s dresser without hesitation. He opens a drawer and pulls out two pairs of underwear before closing it. Jisung watches as Minho’s black underwear is removed.

“Just leave it on the floor,” Jisung says, forcing himself to sit up. “I’ll do laundry in a minute.” 

Jisung quickly rids himself of his dirtied underwear too, then reaches for the towel that was underneath him. After he cleans himself up, he trades it with Minho for a clean pair of underwear. 

Now exhausted, Jisung flops back down onto his bed. It doesn’t take long for Minho to come back, now clad in Jisung’s underwear, and cuddle up into him. Minho lays his head on Jisung’s bare chest, and Jisung wraps an arm around him to hold him close. 

“Minho?” Jisung speaks first, looking down at the top of his head.

“Hm?”

“Are you doing anything this year for Christmas?” Jisung asks carefully.

Minho laughs. “No. Why? You don’t want me coming over like last year?”

“No!” Jisung says a bit too quickly. “I love having you here and spending Christmas with you, and so does my mom. It’s just… well, maybe your parents would like to come over too?”

Minho quickly shakes his head and squeezes Jisung tighter. “No.”

“Why not? I know you aren’t close with them, but it’s worth asking, right?”

“It’s really not,” Minho says. “Even if they did agree, it would be too much trouble for you and your mom.” 

“How?” Jisung asks. “We’ve been together for almost a full calendar year now, and I haven’t gotten to meet your parents, even in passing.”

Minho doesn’t say anything. 

“Do they not know…?” Jisung asks quietly. Minho has always been so confidently open with him and himself that it’s hard to believe that his own parents might be unaware. “Your mom has let you borrow her car for dates a few times now.”

“She kinda knows…” Minho answers vaguely. “She knows there’s someone.”

“But… not a boy…?” Jisung asks. 

“Maybe she does… We don’t talk about it,” Minho explains. “I’ve never said a boy or girl, just ‘someone.’”

“And your dad?” Jisung asks hesitantly. Minho likes to avoid talking about his dad. 

Minho exhales through his nose. “He wouldn’t take it well… I don’t want to get into it with him. You don’t need to meet either of my parents, but especially not him.”

“He’s the one who got you started on smoking, right?” 

The aura around Minho becomes tense. He hasn’t touched a single cigarette since early spring, but Jisung knows that he doesn’t like talking about when he used to smoke. 

“Yeah,” Minho answers finally. “He smokes, and one day, I asked for one.”

“Why?”

“I just… wanted to try to spend time with him… I guess?”

“You can tell me anything about your family, Minho. If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s fine, but… I’m here, and I wouldn’t ever think negatively of you for anything.”  

“My dad’s an alcoholic, Jisung,” Minho finally blurts out. 

Jisung blinks in surprise. 

“For years now,” Minho adds. “He’s just an asshole, that’s it. My mom doesn’t even like him, and they’re married. That’s why you, and your mom, don’t need to meet him. That’s why I don’t spend much time at home.” 

Minho quietly stares at him. 

“Did I ever tell you why my parents got divorced?” Jisung asks.

Minho shakes his head. 

“A couple of years after we moved here, he started cheating on my mom with this woman,” Jisung says. “Eventually, he got her pregnant. When my mom found out, their baby was almost two.” 

Shocked, Minho lifts his head from Jisung’s chest to look up at him. “Two years old?” 

Jisung nods. “My mom filed for divorce immediately, and he moved in with the woman. After a while, he ended up moving back to Korea with her and the kid.” 

“Was she Korean too?” Minho asks. 

Jisung shakes his head. 

Minho’s brows furrow a little. “You hated it here for a long time, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Jisung answers. “It really sucked. Not only did he cheat on Mom for years and have a whole other kid, but once the divorce was finalized, he… went back home.” 

“Jisung, that’s… crazy,” Minho says, clearly still reeling from the new information. A few seconds pass, and he seems to get ahold of himself. He kisses Jisung on the nearest expanse of skin—his chest—before sitting up and tapping Jisung’s bare thigh. “Come on. We still have time for a few episodes before your mom gets home.” 

“Are you staying for dinner?” Jisung’s mom asks Minho in English almost as soon as she walks in the door. 

With his arm still around Jisung’s shoulder, Minho turns his head in an attempt to look at her behind them. “Are you kicking me out?” He asks in Korean. 

From his place beside him, Jisung smiles. Minho’s Korean has gotten so much better since he started speaking it more often. Before, he only used it when he had to, but now he’s getting comfortable using it just as casually as English. It makes Jisung really happy to see him be so comfortable with his mom now too. 

Jisung’s mom laughs as she removes her coat. “If only it would work!” 

Minho and Jisung laugh at her teasing. 

“What are you watching?” She asks in Korean, standing right behind the couch, looking at the anime on the television screen. 

“It’s Minho’s new favorite,” Jisung explains before pointing at the screen. “He accidentally killed the American president, and now he’s on the run until he can meet with the Japanese prime minister, who will save him from prison by starting World War III.” 

Her jaw drops. “Isn’t that… a little…?” 

“He’s lying,” Minho says. “He accidentally killed the president, and now he has to work in his place until the vice president comes back from his vacation in Hawaii. It’s a comedy.” 

Jisung twists around to look up at his mom and see her reaction. 

Laughing, she points down at him in faux anger. “Next time, you will be the one getting kicked out.” 

“Do I get to be your son, then?” Minho asks. 

She affectionately pats him on the head. “You already are.” 

Grinning shamelessly at Jisung, Minho replies to her, “Thanks, Mom.” 

Jisung’s mom walks away to the kitchen, laughing. 

“Don’t call my mom ‘Mom!’” Jisung exclaims. 

“Jealous?” Minho teases. 

“One, yes,” Jisung says. “Two, that would make us brothers.” 

Minho’s smile instantly disappears. 

“Exactly,” Jisung says matter-of-factly. 

There’s a moment of silence. 

“Well, in anime, that’s not really a big de—”

Jisung sits up and shoves Minho off him. “Get out of my house.” 

Minho laughs. 

Laughing too, Jisung stands up and points at the door. “Right now! I’m serious!” 

Minho stands up and heads for the kitchen, where Jisung’s mom is likely trying to get started on dinner. “Mom! Jisung is trying to make me leave!” 

“You’re so weird!” Jisung whines, but he still follows closely behind his boyfriend. 

The weekend passes as usual: much too quickly. Minho spends the night on Saturday, and Jisung always wakes up feeling so much happier and better rested when he’s beside him. 

Unfortunately, though, that never happens on Monday mornings. 

Jisung is exhausted as he walks with Minho to school. They part ways to head off to their separate first-period classes. When Jisung sits down at his desk at the back of the classroom, he can hear whispering at the front. He already knows it’s about him and Minho. He tries to ignore it, but it’s so damn annoying. He and Minho may not outright publicly acknowledge their relationship, but there’s really nothing to say. They’re obviously a couple. They spend every moment of free time together, at school and in town, and yet, the whispers and looks never seem to decrease. 

For Jisung, the period before lunch ends early, so Jisung stops by his locker to swap out a couple of things as he waits for Minho’s nearby history class to be let out. He exchanges one book for another, and then someone approaches him. 

“Han?” A voice rings out, and Jisung looks up. It’s Luke Corbo, one of Jisung’s former friends. They stopped talking in eighth grade as they naturally drifted apart. He’s with another boy Jisung recognizes, Peter Hatfield. 

“Are you and Lee… a thing, or what?” Luke asks. “Everyone’s been talking about it for so long now.” 

Jisung blinks, unsure of what to say or how to say it.

“It’s kind of weird,” Peter says suddenly. “You’re always together, and the girls are always talking about how you share clothes and stuff too. Is that true?” 

“Um…” Jisung tries. With his heart pounding so hard in his chest, the sound is barely voiced.

“Do you, like, want people to think you’re gay or something?” Luke asks. “You weren’t like this before. What happened?”

“I, I don’t know wh-what you’re talk, talking about…” Jisung struggles to get out. He looks away in shame. It’s obvious he’s lying, but what can he do? He can’t just say it. 

“If you’re dating, just admit it,” Peter says. “Don’t try to act like it’s normal.”

Jisung turns back toward his locker. Maybe if he just continues on with his business, they’ll feel awkward and eventually leave. Grabbing another book feels weird; his hands are too shaky. 

“Is there a problem?” Minho’s cool voice asks. 

Jisung keeps his eyes in his locker. 

“We were just wondering—” 

“No, I heard the last bit,” Minho interrupts Luke. He sounds so unbothered and level-headed—not nervous, and stuttering, and shaking like Jisung. 

“Uh… Sorry, we were just curious,” Luke says. “We’ll go. No big deal.” 

Hearing them walk away, Jisung zips his backpack back up. Minho steps closer to him. 

“Are you okay?” He whispers. 

Still avoiding eye contact, Jisung nods. 

Minho stares at him. He probably wants to reach out to run a soothing hand down his back or squeeze his hand to comfort him, but he can’t. Jisung won’t let that happen here. 

“It’s okay,” Minho says in Korean, watching as Jisung shoves his still shaky hands into his front hoodie pocket, a hoodie that originally belonged to Minho. “Don’t be scared of them. They’re nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t like the questions,” Jisung says quietly, also in Korean. At least they have this, a small bit of privacy with their shared language. 

“I know… Remember, only a few months left before graduation.” 

Jisung chews on his lip. High school ending is also worrying to him. They won’t get their college admissions for another couple of months. Sure, they’ve talked about it extensively, and they have the same first and second choice schools, but Jisung is going to be anxious about it until it’s move-in day—until they’re left alone together.

“Can we meet in the back parking lot today?” Jisung asks in English. Usually when they have different periods at the end of the day, they meet out front. The back parking lot is a small area, mainly reserved for teacher and faculty parking. 

“Why?” Minho asks. 

“There’s no one out there…” Jisung admits shamefully. 

There’s a pause before Minho answers. 

“Okay.”

When the bell rings, Jisung already has his stuff packed into his backpack. Not wanting to waste any more time hanging around the busy areas of the school, he heads out a side exit to get to the back parking lot. As he walks on the sidewalk in the brisk but not quite icy temperature, Jisung pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. Minho’s last period, art, is close to the front of the school, so he’ll have a few minutes to wait before he gets there. 

“Hey, Han!” Luke’s voice yells out behind him.

Jisung’s blood runs cold. 

But he keeps walking, eyes straight ahead. 

He can hear someone jogging to catch up to him, followed by a few other people. He’s fucked. 

“Funny seeing you here,” Luke says, even as Jisung tries his best to ignore the presence of him and his friends. “Where’s your boyfriend?” 

“Leave me a-alone,” Jisung stutters. “I d-don’t know what, what you’re talking a-about.”

“Oh, come on!” Another boy exclaims from behind. “Just admit you’re together.”

Jisung’s heart races. He’s still a ways away from where he’s supposed to meet Minho, and even then, Minho won’t be there for a while, and even then, there’s definitely a whole group with Luke. By sound alone, Jisung would guess there are at least three other guys with him. There’s no way out of this situation. If they keep asking him questions like this, and he avoids answering, then they’ll get angry. If he tells the truth, they’ll probably still get aggressive. 

Peter jogs ahead of him to stop him in his tracks. Quickly, the other guys fan out, surrounding Jisung. There’s Luke and Peter from earlier, along with two other guys Jisung doesn’t know. 

“The worst part is,” one of the guys Jisung doesn’t recognize says, “guys like you always have to go around flaunting it and shoving it in everyone’s faces.” 

That’s not true at all. At least, not for him and Minho. 

“Yeah,” Peter agrees. “You’re just asking for someone to say something to you about it.”

“I’m not… doing any, anything,” Jisung tries to defend himself, but his voice shakes. “You’re th-the ones ma-making this a, a thing.” 

It’s infuriating. He doesn’t know why he’s like this, unable to even verbally defend himself. His voice trembles too much, and his stutter makes it nearly impossible to get the words out. They can probably all see how he’s shaking like a leaf, too. He’s completely spineless. He could never be as brave and cool-headed as Minho in his wildest dreams. Jisung is practically a walking stereotype of the weak, effeminate gay man. He’s scared, and humiliated, and there’s a massive lump in his throat already.  

One boy steps a little closer, and the others follow suit. 

“What’s wrong?” The boy taunts. “You’re scared right now?”

Luke laughs. “Lee must be the man in whatever it is that you guys do.” 

The whole group laughs at that—at the mental image of Jisung being ‘the girl.’ 

Another boy lightly shoves Jisung into Luke, who pushes him back. 

“Look, he’s not even doing anything!” A different boy laughs. “He’s just letting himself get pushed around.”

Right now, Jisung couldn’t say anything if he tried. 

So, he keeps his mouth shut and focuses on keeping his tears at bay. 

“Aww,” Peter coos condescendingly. “Are you gonna cry so Lee will come and save you again?”

Jisung gets shoved again, harder this time, and he stumbles before catching himself. His phone and backpack aren’t so lucky, though, dropping and hitting the pavement. Worse, he hears a loud, obvious sound of his backpack getting kicked farther away. 

Jisung’s fists naturally clench, not in any desire to fight, but just in an attempt to stop the shaking. He’s never felt more helpless. He wants someone, anyone but most especially Minho, to come rushing in, to interrupt this, to save him. That makes him feel worse. He’s too dependent; he relies on Minho for far too much. Minho isn’t here right now. No one is. 

Luke grabs Jisung by the collar, roughly pulling him closer, and Jisung tries to prepare himself for a pain that he’s never experienced before. 

“Hey! What the fuck are you doing?” Minho’s voice, loud and angry, sounds out. 

Luke is shoved away, and Jisung is released in the process. 

“What’s it to you?” Peter asks. “We’re just talking to him!”

Minho steps closer to Jisung, placing himself between him and the majority of the group. “Talking? That’s fucking talking? Looked more like you were trying to start something I’d make sure you’d regret.” He steps forward, shoving Peter back too, though it’s not as violent as when he pushed Luke. “You’re real tough when it’s four against one, but I’d love to see how any of you would fare in a one-on-one.” At his sides, his fists are clenched, waiting and ready.

Jisung knows that Minho would absolutely get his ass kicked by at least two of the guys in the group, but his threat still seems to work. 

Luke’s face doesn’t change, but he does step back. He scoffs. “You’re not worth it. Worry about comforting your boyfriend, fag.”

Another boy mumbles something, and the group soon backs off and leaves Minho and Jisung alone. Minho stays where he is, in front of Jisung, for several long seconds, watching as they walk away.

Minho finally turns around to face Jisung. Minho’s face is red, and his chest heaves. His eyes roam Jisung’s face in a quick, unfocused panic. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” 

Jisung shakes his head, still unable to muster up any words. The tears in his eyes sting, and he sniffles, trying to keep them from spilling. With one hand, Minho grabs Jisung’s hand, and with the other, he cups Jisung’s face. His hands are shaking a lot; Jisung figures it must be the adrenaline. The physical contact from Minho is all it takes for the floodgates to open. Tears stream down Jisung’s face, the warmth of them contrasting with the December cold. 

“I’m sorry,” Minho apologizes, soft and needless to Jisung. “I should’ve been with you. I should’ve gotten here faster.” 

Jisung shakes his head. He shouldn’t apologize for that. 

Minho attempts to wipe his tears away, but they just keep coming. “You didn’t deserve this. You know that, right?” He asks. “It’s not your fault. Let’s go home… I’ll stay with you, I’ll stay all night if you want.” 

He wipes Jisung’s tears again before stepping back. He quickly takes hold of Jisung’s hand before bending down to pick up Jisung’s phone. He doesn’t look at it for long—it’s obviously broken beyond repair—before slipping it into his own jacket pocket. 

Minho gives Jisung’s hand a squeeze before letting go to walk over to where his backpack lies sad on the concrete. Jisung turns to watch as he picks it up, inspects it, and then brushes the grit off it. Minho comes closer and holds it out to Jisung for him to slip his arms into. 

Wordlessly, they begin their walk to Jisung’s house. Most of the students have left already, so their walk is even more private than usual. Minho reaches over to grab Jisung’s cold hand. He holds it with both of his own and brings it up to his lips. 

He kisses it. “I love you,” he mumbles against it. Another kiss. 

He has no way of knowing, but it makes Jisung feel a little worse. A little more useless. A little more helpless. A little more like something that needs to be babied and coddled. 

When they get into the door of Jisung’s home, Minho is quick to wrap his arms around him and stroke his back affectionately. Despite his insecurities, Jisung can’t help the way it makes him feel on the inside. He’s grateful for Minho. He’s filled with appreciation and love for him unlike any he’s ever before felt. With Minho hugging him like this, it almost makes everything seem okay, manageable.  

They end up lying on the couch together, with Minho still holding Jisung and stroking his head. He talks Jisung into telling him the full story of what happened and promises to talk to his mom on his behalf about his phone so he doesn’t have to worry about it. 

It’s nice. Jisung should appreciate it, but two questions fill the space in his mind: Why can’t he take care of himself? Why does he need his boyfriend to take care of him like this?

Minho is already asleep. Usually, Jisung’s mom only allows sleepovers on school nights if it’s a special occasion. Evidently, almost getting beat up is one such special occasion. Jisung naturally snuggles a little closer into his side. He loves Minho, undeniably. Minho loves him too, and he knows that for certain. Things would be easier if they didn’t love each other, though. 

Jisung really appreciates Minho. If it weren’t for he and Minho having to work together on the junior year war presentations a year ago, Jisung would still be alone and friendless and completely unaware of himself and his sexuality. Without even meaning to, Minho helped him tremendously in his own personal self-discovery. With Minho in his life, Jisung gained a friend, a boyfriend, and tons of experiences he wouldn’t otherwise have. Minho will always be Jisung’s first everything, and nothing could ever change that. 

It sucks that other people don’t see their relationship that way, though. 

Last year, when Jisung told Minho he loved him outside Winter Formal, he knew the kids at school wouldn’t be accepting. He did it anyway because it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he loved Minho, and Minho loved him too. As they got to the point of thinking of each other as ‘boyfriend’ and coming out to Jisung’s mom about it, other concerns came up again. 

That’s why they agreed to be subtle at school and in town. They never had plans to avoid each other or go out of their way to escape rumors or speculation—they just agreed to keep the pet names and physical affection private. They were already halfway through junior year, so it was always just supposed to be ‘for now.’ When summer came, and Minho spent even more time at Jisung’s house than his own, it was easy to forget about subtlety. In Jisung’s home, it didn’t matter. They were semi-living together with how often Minho would spend the night, and they got very used to it. 

When fall came, and school started, it was an adjustment. New habits had already been formed over the summer, and it was hard to catch yourself before reaching out to the other. For anyone paying attention, it was probably obvious. When Jisung realized that, he relaxed a little bit. He let Minho hold his hand sometimes walking to and from school. He let Minho stand a little too close, and he was guilty of doing the same. When he caught Minho staring at him sometimes, he didn’t look away and pretend not to notice. When Jisung started noticing whispers, he ignored them. He’d been the subject of occasional whispers since before Minho. Even when the whispers were about them both, that was fine; it happened last year, and nothing ever came from it. 

They got too brave, so this was inevitable. Eventually, someone was bound to take an issue with it and confront them. Jisung just didn’t expect it to be violent. He doesn’t have to wonder what would have happened if Minho hadn’t come when he did. He would have been hurt… just because he likes another boy. Jisung can’t just change that. It’s not like dyeing his hair back to black or removing his piercings; those are easy, and Jisung still never did them. Before they got together, Minho used to pick on him for those things, but Jisung stuck by them even until today. As much as Jisung would like to think he’s capable of being unapologetically himself, he’s not really. Not in this situation. He supposes the main difference is that Minho would’ve never hurt him. 

So, what now? Friday is the last day before winter break, but tomorrow is only Tuesday. That’s four days in which literally anything could happen, to him or Minho. Luke and Peter singled Jisung out before lunch, and Minho got them to leave him alone, but just a few hours later, he was alone again, and the situation was more intense and aggressive. Maybe Minho interrupting pissed them off, and that’s what led to them ganging up on him later. Maybe now with Minho having interrupted them twice, he’ll be targeted next. He basically dared them to start something with him, but Jisung didn’t want him to taunt them like that. He doesn’t want Minho to get hurt ‘for’ him. He doesn’t want Minho to get hurt for any reason at all! 

In the dark, listening to Minho’s steady breathing, Jisung exhales. He needs to commit to toning it down from now on. That’s the only thing that will help them. 

Tuesday morning, from the second he wakes up until they’re standing right outside the school, Minho tries to talk Jisung into skipping for the day. Jisung can’t do that, though. Not only would it tell Luke and his friends that he’s scared, but it would also be an admission of guilt—that they’re right about his and Minho’s relationship. 

Jisung tries to enter the school with his head held high, but it takes approximately sixty seconds to overhear new whispers—whispers about what happened yesterday, about Minho having to come and save him. Jisung’s head automatically goes down in shame as he separates from Minho and navigates his way through the halls to his first-period class. When he finally makes it to the classroom, the other early kids stare at him. 

Jisung keeps his eyes down. He sits in his usual seat. With no cell phone to keep him occupied until class starts, he pulls out his textbook. He’s too distracted to actually study, but he can at least try to look like that isn’t the case. 

Jisung wonders if Minho is feeling the same way in his class right now. Probably not. If he knows Minho at all, he’s probably more worried about Jisung than himself… If they weren’t dating, none of this would have even happened in the first place. Minho wouldn’t have to worry about him. Jisung wouldn’t have to worry about one of them getting beat up. He wouldn’t have to worry about how they behave around each other. Today, and every day, would be so much easier. 

At lunch, Jisung can’t stop himself from periodically looking past Minho at all the other students at other tables to see if anyone is watching them. Minho doesn’t say anything about it, but Jisung can tell it bothers him. Sometimes, when Minho notices Jisung’s eyes drifting off to elsewhere, he just stops talking mid-sentence. Jisung finishes his once-over of the cafeteria, then apologizes. Minho, patient as a saint, nods, and they continue on with their conversation until Jisung gets distracted again. 

Back at Jisung’s house after school, he and Minho sit down on the couch to pick up where they left off with that anime Minho likes. Jisung actually likes it now too, but it’s more fun to tease Minho by pretending that he doesn’t. 

Minho goes home before dinner. Jisung didn’t realize until after he left, but it’s strange to know that he’s gone, and Jisung can’t contact him in any way. Ever since they became friends, Minho was always just a text message away. Jisung doesn’t even have anything to say to him, but not having the option to text him feels like… something’s missing? 

They spend way too much time together, clearly.  

Jisung’s mom tells him that she’ll go with him to buy a new one this weekend, but until then, he’s basically just left to twiddle his thumbs. 

“Are you okay?” Minho asks. 

Jisung stops picking at his lunch and looks up at him. Minho’s eyes are on him, filled with a real, genuine concern. 

Jisung’s head automatically starts nodding before the words even come to him. “Yeah… I’m fine.”

“You just seem… kinda…” Minho’s eyes go down to the table. “Off.”

“Off?” Jisung asks.

Minho nods and looks back up at him. “Is it because of what happened or… something else?” 

“Um…” Jisung quickly shakes his head in dismissal. “I’m fine.”

Minho keeps looking at him. He doesn’t look convinced, but he nods quietly, then averts his eyes again. 

The period goes on, and once they’ve finished and thrown away their trash, they leave together. Before exiting the cafeteria, though, the back of Minho’s hand brushes Jisung’s. 

Jisung knows it was just an accident, but he automatically jerks his hand away, an immediate bout of anxiety bubbling up inside of him. Quickly, he looks up at Minho’s face. With knitted brows, he looks back at Jisung with a clear look of hurt in his eyes. Jisung instantly regrets overreacting like that, even if he didn’t really mean to, but the moment is gone too soon. Minho looks away from him, off into the distance somewhere in the opposite direction of him. So, Jisung looks away too. 

Feeling eyes on him, Jisung subtly turns his head to look over at his left, where Minho sits on the other side of the classroom. Sure enough, Minho is staring at him. 

At first glance, it looks like he’s zoned out or daydreaming, but then Jisung sees it. There’s a certain heaviness in his gaze. 

It’s not uncommon for Jisung to catch Minho staring at him during English, but this is different from that. There’s no flirtatious lift of the brows or smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. He looks… serious. 

Jisung tilts his head slightly in a silent question, but Minho doesn’t move to respond in any way. He keeps staring, brows furrowed in thought. The intensity is uncomfortable, so Jisung looks away, back down at his notes. As he tries to refocus on class, he can tell that Minho is still watching him. 

“Hey. Feel like doing something different today?” Minho asks as they walk to Jisung’s house after school. 

“Like what?” 

Minho shrugs. “McDonald’s or something? I’ll pay.”

“When do you not pay?” Jisung teases. As much as he would love a free milkshake, even if it is mid-December, McDonald’s is usually pretty busy. Considering school just let out, there’s a high chance of someone from school being there. “I don’t know… I’m not really in the mood today. I just wanna go home.” 

Minho’s lips press into a thin line. He nods slowly as if expecting it before looking down at the sidewalk. “Alright.”

It’s awkwardly silent. 

“Maybe next time, okay?” Jisung tries. 

Minho glances over at him. His eyes linger for a moment before he looks away again. “Yeah. Next time.”

“How many more episodes do we have left?” Jisung asks, trying to get Minho’s mind off the rejection. “Do you know?” 

“Three or four,” Minho answers. “I think three.” 

“We should be able to finish it today, then,” Jisung says, watching closely for Minho’s reaction. 

Minho nods. “Yeah.” 

They don’t speak much for the rest of the walk. 

When they get to his house, and Minho removes his jacket, Jisung notices that he’s wearing the necklace he gave him last Christmas. It’s a thin silver chain with a small circle pendant. Minimalistic and simple, nothing that would stand out too much or attract any questions from anyone. Jisung didn’t realize until now, but he hasn’t seen him wear it in a good few weeks. 

Jisung chooses to keep the observation to himself, though. He doesn’t want Minho to feel pressured to wear it more often or anything. 

Starting from where they left off, they get a few minutes into the anime when Jisung feels Minho’s knee brush against his own. Not thinking much of it, Jisung moves his leg away.

Several seconds pass, and then Minho is noisily stretching out. His knee bumps Jisung’s again. “You’re crowding me.”

Jisung looks over at him long enough to see his provocative grin, then scoots over a bit to give Minho more room on the couch. 

But Minho slides closer, putting his arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “There, now we’re even,” he teases before leaning even closer. Carefully, he presses a soft kiss to Jisung’s cheek. 

When Jisung doesn’t really react, Minho gently urges Jisung’s face to turn towards him. Looking between Jisung’s eyes and lips, Minho brushes his thumb over Jisung’s jawline. Soft and delicate, he kisses him. It starts slowly as per usual, but impatience seems to swiftly overwhelm him, and Minho deepens the kiss. He kisses Jisung harder, desperation leaking through. 

Jisung pulls away and turns to face the television again. “Not now, Minho.”

Minho’s hand drops, and he leans back against the couch. Jisung hears him exhale in annoyance. 

“You’re annoyed?” Jisung asks, turning his head to look at Minho again. “Because I said no?” 

“I’m annoyed because you’ve been saying no to everything,” Minho says, not looking at him. “You don’t want to have sex, that’s fine; but you don’t want to go out with me, you don’t want our hands to touch even accidentally, and you don’t like talking to me anymore.”

Jisung’s brows furrow in confusion. “What are you talking about? We have massive targets on our backs, and I’m just trying to fly under the radar.”

“So to do that, you’re treating me like we’re not even friends?” Minho asks in return.

“Minho,” Jisung says firmly. “You know it’s not like that. This whole semester, we’ve been way too reckless, and now people are getting suspicious, so we have to cool it.”

Minho scoffs. “Suspicious? Suspicious of what exactly? We didn’t commit any crime.”

Jisung sighs. “I didn’t say we did, but—”

“But what?” Minho asks. “You’re ashamed of being gay.”

Jisung’s brows lower as the room becomes stuffier. “I’m not! I just don’t want everyone to know about it!”

“Where’s the line drawn?” Minho asks, growing frustrated. His voice has an edge to it. “Nothing at school, nothing anywhere in town, apparently—what’s next? You’re acting like you’re cheating on your wife with me or something.” 

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Oh, sorry I don’t want to get the shit beaten out of me. Not everyone is eager to get into fights like you.”

“If I wanted to get into a fight with someone, I would,” Minho argues. “I’m just not embarrassed of our relationship. If someone has an issue with it and tries to take that out on me—or you—then yeah, I’m going to be pissed off. That’s normal.” 

“You know they could beat you up, Minho. Is that what you want?” Jisung asks. “What would that solve besides making me feel guilty for letting it happen?”

“It would all stop!” Minho exclaims in frustration as an anime girl laughs annoyingly in the background. “Do you really not get it? If I got into a fight with someone—anyone—over our relationship, we wouldn’t have any more problems. Even if I lost, as long as I got at least one good hit in, that would be it. People would know that I don’t fuck around, and no one would say anything to either of us again.”

“And what makes you so sure of that?”

“Jisung, by denying it and being embarrassed, you’re giving them the go-ahead to keep fucking with you,” Minho says seriously. “The second you just admit it, ‘I’m gay, and this is my boyfriend, so what?’ You would stop being such an easy target. If you just own it, that alone will do wonders. If you seem like a terrified—I don’t know—kitten, then they’re going to treat you like one!” 

“I’m not like you, Minho!” Jisung exclaims, volume loud in his upset. “I can’t just do and say whatever I feel like. I can’t just walk around like I have the biggest dick in town!”

Breaking, Minho laughs in shock. “What…?”

“You know what I mean!” Jisung exclaims, frustrated. “Just because nothing gets to you, and nothing bothers you, and you’re the most mature, confident person on the planet, doesn’t mean I can suddenly just become that too.” 

“You think nothing bothers me?” Minho asks, his face morphing into a look of genuine surprise. “You distancing yourself from me bothers me. The fact that there are people at school who want to fight you bothers me. It bothers me that you seem ready to throw our entire relationship away.”

“I don’t want that, Minho,” Jisung says firmly. 

“Whatever,” Minho sighs. He rubs his temples. “I can’t— I can’t do the work for you, Jisung. It takes two to make a relationship work; you know that. I love you, but this… I can’t deal with this going on until college. I don’t know what else to do.”

The silence is painful. 

“Minho—” Jisung tries.

Minho stands up from the couch. “Just forget it. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Jisung watches him with wide, nervous eyes. “Where are you, you going?” 

“Home,” Minho answers simply in a clipped tone. “We’re not getting anywhere with this right now, and I need to go clear my head.” 

Watching as he begins to head for the door, Jisung stands up to follow him. He wants to say something, needs to say something, but his mind is utterly blank. His palms are sweating. 

Minho quickly pulls his jacket and shoes back on. Quietly, “See you tomorrow.” He doesn’t wait for a response from Jisung before closing the door behind himself, leaving Jisung alone in the house. 

Thursday morning, Minho knocks on Jisung’s front door as usual. Jisung is surprised to see him. After what happened yesterday, he thought for sure that Minho would want to walk to school alone. 

“Um…” Jisung starts, standing there staring at Minho.

“Tell your mom we’re leaving,” Minho says, gesturing into the house.

“Mom!” Jisung calls into the house. “Minho’s here, and we’re leaving!” 

“Okay!” She calls back. “Be careful, both of you!” 

It makes sense for her to be worried, but Jisung hates the reminder of what happened. He pulls on his shoes and leaves, closing the door behind him. 

It snowed pretty heavily last night, so the neighborhood is covered in white. With each step, the snow crunches under their feet. 

“Do you want to talk about yesterday?” Jisung asks carefully. 

He and Minho don’t fight much, so on the occasions when they do, he never knows how to most appropriately navigate the situation without making things worse. Minho is better at that than him. 

“We can talk after school,” Minho answers. “Let’s just… try to get through today.” 

It’s quiet again. 

“It snowed,” Jisung says dumbly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Remember when we went to buy lube for the first time?” Jisung asks. “It was snowing, but I waited outside because I didn’t want anyone to think we were gonna have sex.”

Minho turns to look at him. 

After Minho accused him of being ashamed of being gay, he probably shouldn’t have brought up a time when he actually was. 

“I just mean, like, it’s funny... in retrospect,” Jisung tries to alleviate the awkwardness. “And you asked if you should get condoms, and I was all like ‘No!’” 

Minho stays quiet. 

“At least it’s not the Eighties, right?” Jisung jokes and instantly regrets it. 

Great. Now he’s making AIDS jokes to his boyfriend, whom he has regular unprotected sex with. Fucking fantastic. 

“I’m sorry,” Jisung quickly apologizes before proceeding to ramble even more. “I just feel awkward, so I can’t stop talking, and I really don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I’ll just shut up now, but I’m really sorry, and I shouldn’t hav—!”

Suddenly, Jisung slips in the icy snow, and his legs go over his head as he lands on his ass. 

Minho bursts out laughing. “Are you okay?”

He reaches out to Jisung, lying limp on the ground in shock. 

“Are you okay?” Minho asks again, bending down to grab Jisung’s hand. “You didn’t hit your head or anything, right? Do I need to take you back home to your mommy?”

“No!” Jisung exclaims as embarrassment sets in. He jerks his hand out of Minho’s to try to get up on his own. “I’m fine!” 

Minho laughs again. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” Jisung says as he stands back up. 

He almost slips again, but Minho grabs him by the arm to steady him. 

“Be careful,” Minho says, giggling. “That’s what you get for making jokes about that stuff.”

“I know, I know,” Jisung grumbles, brushing snow off the back of the pants. 

“Just let it go for today, okay?” Minho says. “We’ll talk after school. Try not to think about it. Space will be good for us.”

“Space?” Jisung asks, staring at Minho. 

“Most of our classes are separate,” Minho explains. “I’m not talking about… that.”

Relieved, Jisung nods. 

They continue walking to school, and Jisung tries to be extra careful with where he steps. 

The day is really uncomfortable. In their separate classes, it’s easy enough; Jisung just tries his best to focus on the little school they have this close to the break. Lunch is almost painful, though. They sit at their usual table alone, just the two of them. They talk even less than they’ve been talking this week. Jisung spends so much time awkwardly sipping at his apple juice to keep himself busy that he ends up leaving to go buy a second one, and he almost finishes that one too. By the end of the lunch period, his bladder feels like it’s about to explode, and Minho goes with him to the restroom. 

As he washes his hands, Minho stands a ways away, and Jisung stares at him in the mirror. He recalls the time last year when he accidentally spilled soda all over himself. Minho offered him his hoodie to wear for the rest of the day. Right here in this very restroom, Jisung had pulled his sweater off and changed into Minho’s right in front of him, before they had even started dating or kissed or anything. Minho had looked away. Jisung called him on it, so Minho called him a ‘fruitcake’ and then proceeded to literally stare at him as he changed. It’s funny how things turn out, sometimes. 

When they finally arrive back at Jisung’s house at the end of the day, Jisung feels nervous. 

“Do… you wanna go up to m-my room?”

Minho looks at him and nods. “Sure, if that’s what you want.” 

Silently, Jisung heads upstairs with Minho following behind. Jisung turns on the lights, and Minho passes him to sit on the foot of his bed. Jisung carefully follows, sitting beside him but several inches away. 

No one says anything. 

“I’ve been thinking—” They say simultaneously and quickly pause. 

“I’ve been thinking…” Jisung starts carefully. “About what you said yesterday, about me treating you like we’re strangers… I just want to start by saying that it’s not you, at all. The problem is everyone else. If we’re more distant with each other, hopefully they’ll stop noticing us, and if they stop noticing us, then hopefully we’ll be left alone. Gossip is fine, but I don’t want something to happen to you because of me.”

“So, you’re just going to give in?” Minho asks. “Rather than doing what you want and what makes you happy, you’re doing this?”

Jisung doesn’t answer.

“I don’t need you to worry about me,” Minho says. “I’m fine, and I’ll always be fine.”

“I’m scared, Minho,” Jisung admits, though his throat is dry. He picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “When people look at us and stare or talk behind our backs, I’m worried something is going to happen—something bad. I don’t want to feel this way, so I’m just trying to do what I can to make it go away.”

“You think I don’t get scared too?” Minho asks softly. “I notice it and worry too… but I’m not going to let them control my life, Jisung. I love you, and I shouldn’t have to feel like I’m losing you because someone else doesn’t like our relationship.”

“You’re not losing me,” Jisung says, growing defensive. “You could never lose me.”

“How am I not?” Minho returns. “You’ve been slipping away all week. Like I said yesterday… I’m trying, but I can’t do it alone. I feel like I’m the only one fighting for this.”

Exhaling, Minho leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He cracks his knuckles. “I’m scared too—” His voice cracks. He pauses. Looking away and down, he swallows. “I’m scared that one day you’re going to wake up and realize that this—that we—aren’t worth it… I can’t lose you, Jisung… I love you, and I don’t want to be without you.” His voice shakes. 

Jisung’s eyes grow wide. “Minho…”
Minho’s hands move to cover his face, shielding it from Jisung’s view. It’s quiet, but Jisung doesn’t miss the way his shoulders shake. He scoots closer to Minho and drapes an arm over him.

“I’ve spent this last year trying to be strong for you,” Minho continues, through sobs, as Jisung rubs his back in an attempt to comfort and soothe. “I didn’t want you to be scared again… like before, and I thought being strong would… make you feel better, more comfortable. I wanted to be strong enough for both of us, so you never had to worry about anything.”

Jisung stares at him. Minho never cries. Jisung’s only seen him get close once, and it was the night he confessed his feelings for him. To him, Minho has always been so high, so impervious… but now, for him to break down like this… 

Jisung leans over so his face can be close to his. “Minho, I’m sorry.” His own voice trembles. “I didn’t know… I didn’t realize…”

“I didn’t want you to know,” Minho says, still shielding his face from him. “I didn’t want you to know that I’m not as strong or brave as you think I am… I’ve been terrified every day that one wrong move will ruin everything.”

Jisung freezes. His throat tightens, guilt filling him. He always thought Minho was above fear, and his own obliviousness has caused him so much pain and anxiety. 

“And all of this, it didn’t even matter,” Minho says, “because I still couldn’t make you stay.”

His chest tightening up, Jisung shakes his head even though Minho can’t see it. “That’s not true. It did matter, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Minho moves his hand and looks over at him. Their faces are just inches apart, and Jisung can see all the details. His cheeks are flushed in uneven, blotchy patches and wet with tears. His nose is pink. His bottom lip is soft and trembling slightly. His eyes are red and swollen from the tears. Unshed tears make them shine, and his gaze searches Jisung’s own face. Seeing Minho like this takes Jisung’s breath right out of his lungs. There’s no teasing or sarcastic front here, and it’s just Minho—pure, raw and honest. 

“I…” Jisung tries to start. “I was so caught up in my own fear that I… I didn’t notice what it was doing to you. I was trying to protect us, but all I’ve done is hurt you and… and make you feel like I didn’t care anymore. But I do, Minho, I care so much, and I love you, and I’m not about to leave for anything. Nothing in this world could ever make me not love you.”

Minho wipes at his tears, trying to compose himself as he sits up. He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want you to feel trapped… If this is too much, then I need you to tell me.”

Jisung shakes his head frantically. “It’s not. I’ve been scared, but I’m not gonna let that keep pushing you away. I’m not— I won’t let my fear control me anymore. I’m not going to let it ruin us… I’m going to be myself, with you, no matter what.” Jisung’s mind is in overdrive. He’s not about to just let himself lose the best friend he’s ever had. He’s proud of their relationship. “I’m going to show you—show everyone—that you’re the most important thing in my life, that I love you.”

Minho’s eyes rapidly roam over Jisung’s face, searching for any sign of dishonesty or hesitation. He wets his lips. “I… I need you to mean that, Jisung. I need you to show me.”

“I will,” Jisung says with sureness. “I promise I will.”

Watching him intently, Minho nods slowly. He reaches out his arms to him, and Jisung meets him halfway in a hug. 

When Minho comes to pick him up in the morning to walk to school, Jisung happily takes his hand in his own, interlacing their fingers. They walk together through the snow, arms between them swinging obviously. It makes Minho laugh, so Jisung swings their arms even higher. 

When they get to the school, Jisung’s heart does begin to race, but he intends to stick by what he promised Minho yesterday. When they enter the building, Jisung squeezes Minho’s hand. Despite his nerves, he forces himself to keep his head up and make eye contact with everyone who notices them holding hands. They have to part ways for the first period, but Jisung holds Minho’s hand until the very last second. 

Reuniting to walk to the cafeteria together for lunch, Jisung lets himself naturally lean closer into Minho. They sit down at their table, across from each other as always. They talk normally, and if a ‘baby’ or two slips in there, then so be it. Jisung doesn’t let himself be bothered by anyone at any of the other tables. 

After lunch, it’s back to class like usual, and then there’s only a short pep rally left at the end of the day. 

The gym is packed with faculty and students antsy and eager for winter break to begin. Music is blaring on the speakers, and the cheerleaders are… leading cheers. Minho and Jisung stand closely together in the bleachers, surrounded by numerous other students. 

Towards the end, some student M.C. grabs a microphone and shouts out at the crowd of students, “Alright, everyone! Before we end today’s rally, let’s hear some love for your best friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and anyone who’s had your back this semester! On the count of three, give your biggest shout to that someone!” 

Jisung glances over at Minho beside him. What a perfect opportunity that has so kindly fallen right into his lap. Neither of them is the type to participate in pep rallies normally, so this will completely catch Minho off-guard. 

“One… Two…” The student counts aloud. “Three!” 

Mustering up every last ounce of courage inside him, Jisung joins the other voices in the crowd. “Minho! I love you!” 

The surrounding students take pause and get quiet compared to the others. Some turn to look at them, while others nudge and whisper to their friends, but Jisung keeps his head up. 

“About time!” Some girl yells from behind them. 

Some students laugh, and the moment ends. Everyone goes back to participating in the pep rally unbothered. Jisung turns to look at Minho. 

As expected, Minho stares at him with wide, surprised eyes and raised brows. Noticeably, a stretch of pink covers his cheeks, and Jisung feels proud to be the reason why. Minho’s lips twitch into a smile. 

Suddenly, an arm is slung around Jisung’s shoulder, and he’s pulled closer to Minho. 

“I love you too, Romeo,” Minho says into Jisung’s ear, loud enough to be heard over the music. 

“Wanna go to McDonald’s?” Jisung asks brightly as they begin their walk home. He’s proud of himself for pulling what he did at the rally, and he can’t help the resulting pep in his step.

Minho laughs. “You just want free food.”

“Well… I would pay, but honestly, now I only carry enough money for lunch.”

“Really?” Minho laughs again. “Are you serious?”

Jisung nods. “You never let me pay for anything, so what’s the point?”

“Okay, well I guess you’re just gonna have to watch me drink a milkshake, then.”

Jisung’s jaw drops. 

“I’m thinking… strawberry?” Minho continues to tease. 

Strawberry is Jisung’s favorite. He pouts at Minho.

“Maybe if you kiss me after, you’ll get a hint of it?” Minho suggests in faux concern. 

Jisung lightly swats at Minho. “You’re so shameless it’s insane.” 

“Speaking of which, it’s been a long week,” Minho says. 

Jisung looks at him. “You’re staying over tonight, right?” 

“If you’ll so generously have me.”

Jisung laughs. “I’ll consider letting you stay over. Today’s been pretty exhausting with so much staring, so I think I’m in for an early night.” 

“That’s okay,” Minho says. “I’ll go downstairs and watch Hallmark movies with your mom.”

“Their Christmas movies are kind of good,” Jisung says, nodding.

“Jisung, all their movies are Christmas movies.” Minho laughs. 

“That’s not true.”

“It is,” Minho argues. “Slap a Santa hat on someone, and you’ve got a Christmas movie. Hallmark movies are all just Christmas movies without any obvious references to Christmas or winter, but the plot is all there.”

Jisung squints at him. “I don’t think that’s true.” 

“Over the summer, I watched part of one with your mom while you were showering, and there were these two people who used to date hitchhiking together to get home in time for the Fourth of July. Like, who even does that? It’s just a Christmas movie referencing the wrong holiday.” 

When Jisung returns to his room after showering, he subtly watches Minho, sitting on his bed, against the headboard, idly flipping through a book from Jisung’s manga collection. He’s already showered and dressed for bed, and Jisung’s eyes naturally wander from his face down to his bare arms revealed by the short-sleeve T-shirt he’s wearing, and then to his hands holding the book. Minho’s hands aren’t exactly big, but they’re certainly useful. 

Jisung moves to sit on the bed beside him. He scoots closer so he can put his chin on Minho’s shoulder. Looking up at Minho’s face, he seems to not pay much mind to the gesture. Jisung lets his hand find its own to rest on Minho’s thigh, but still, nothing. 

Jisung gently grabs the book out of Minho’s hands and moves it aside. Minho looks at him, then. His expression says it all as he slowly realizes how close Jisung is. 

Still, Jisung leans even closer. Looking down at Minho’s lips, he whispers, “Kiss me.”

Minho obliges. Their lips connect in a tender, sweet kiss. Impatient and needy, Jisung deepens, tongue seeking contact. Minho parts his lips more to allow it. When their tongues brush, Jisung automatically lets out a little, pleased sound. With that, Minho reaches up to hold Jisung by the neck as he seeks to pull more sounds out of him. Jisung sneaks a hand down to pull up Minho’s T-shirt, fingers itching to touch over warm skin. 

Minho pulls away just enough to mumble against Jisung’s lips. “You want to?”

Jisung nods eagerly. Of course, isn’t it obvious?

Minho pulls away fully. He swiftly pulls his T-shirt off before reaching for Jisung’s sweatshirt and removing that too. Jisung’s hands move for Minho’s bulge, but Minho stops him by pulling him into his lap. 

Now straddling Minho, Jisung leans down to kiss and suck at his neck. Minho’s hands run up and down his bare sides, and it almost tickles. 

“Can we…” Minho’s voice is light and airy as Jisung sucks a bruise into the thin skin of his neck. “Can we try something?”

“Hm?” Jisung hums before kissing up the length of Minho’s neck. 

“It’ll help open you up,” Minho prefaces.

Jisung grinds down into him, hoping to get him to spit it out.

“I wanna rim you,” Minho confesses finally.

Jisung pulls away to look at him. “This again? Why? Why on earth would you want to do that?”

Minho laughs a little. “Because it’s you.”

“It’s weird…”

“I really think you would like it,” Minho says. “Plus, it’s hot.”

“What could possibly be hot about that?” Jisung asks. 

“I like your ass.”

Jisung stares at him. 

“Can I just try?” Minho asks. “Just for a minute, and if you don’t like it, I’ll never ask again.”

Thinking, Jisung exhales. “You can’t kiss me after.” 

Minho laughs and nods. “Okay.”

Jisung climbs off of Minho. “How should I…? From behind?” 

“Whatever’s comfortable.”

Jisung lightly swats at Minho to move. He quickly pulls his pants and underwear off and takes his place at the upper center of the bed. Lying down on his back, Jisung brings his legs up to his chest and opens them. Holding them up from behind his knees, he looks up at Minho, who’s watching in what looks to be pure, unfiltered excitement. “Go for it.” 

Minho grins at him before lying down on his stomach. “Just relax,” he says, grabbing Jisung’s thighs. He strokes the tender skin soothingly. 

Jisung looks away. Somehow, it seems cruel to watch Minho do this. 

Minho kisses his upper thigh and begins trailing kisses down to his ass. Jisung shivers when he starts getting close to his hole. 

“If it’s too much, tell me, okay?”

“Okay…” 

It’s already too much in some ways. 

Minho grips his ass now, and the next thing Jisung knows, a cold gust of air touches it. Jisung flinches at the weird, unexpected feeling. He hears Minho laughing a little, and he rolls his eyes. Then, something soft and wet is just barely touching it. Minho’s tongue, Jisung’s genius brain supplies. He’s being extra gentle, and it—

Jisung’s legs jerk. “It tickles!” 

So, Minho uses more tongue and more pressure. The ticklish feeling subsides and is replaced with just… weirdness. Several long seconds pass as Jisung stares up at his ceiling with furrowed brows before Minho pulls away. Immediately, Jisung misses the feeling. 

“Should I stop?” Minho asks. 

Jisung shakes his head. “No, keep going for a little longer.”

Minho doesn’t waste another second before diving back in. He licks over Jisung’s hole again, and Jisung can feel his cock twitch. He looks down at it only to realize that he’s already half-hard. He lets his head fall back against the pillow. 

Minho’s tongue alternates between soft and hard swipes. It’s all so warm, and wet, and completely unlike anything Jisung’s ever experienced before. He digs his fingers into his legs. Before he realizes it, he’s letting out a small moan. 

It spurs Minho on to keep going. He speeds up, and Jisung’s back arches as his cock begins to ache for contact. As if able to hear his thoughts, Minho reaches up to wrap his hand around it. He strokes Jisung slowly despite the fast movements of his tongue and lips. 

“Minho…” Jisung whines. 

“Hm?” 

“Touch me…!” 

Jisung doesn’t know why that comes to mind because Minho is very much already touching him, but it makes Minho pull away from his hole. 

Still stroking his cock painfully slowly, Minho looks up at him with a smile. “So, you like it.” 

Jisung nods. “Yes, now please keep going.” 

Minho laughs at the snappy response. He moves back down and releases Jisung’s cock to spread his ass more. Minho’s tongue easily slides inside, and Jisung gasps. Minho fucks him with his tongue, and it’s not even remotely comparable to his cock or fingers. 

“Oh my god, Minho,” Jisung moans. 

Minho quickly pulls away. “Not so loud,” he whispers harshly. 

Right. His mom is home. 

Jisung quickly grabs the pillow from underneath his head and covers his whole face with it, eager for Minho to continue right now. Jisung can’t see and can barely breathe, and it’s hard to keep his legs spread open like this without them being held up, but none of that matters when Minho slides his tongue in again. 

Minho begins to stroke his cock again, and Jisung’s hips naturally move to buck up into it. Minho stops to grab him by the hips to move him back into place. Jisung feels a glob of spit fall down onto his hole with a significant amount of force, and while the act itself is arguably offensive, Jisung’s toes curl. Minho goes back in, hungrily kissing and licking his hole as he strokes his cock again. It’s so good that Jisung finally understands the saying of someone’s mind going to mush. That’s exactly how he feels. There’s no other thought in his head other than the intense need to cum. 

Then, it all stops. Chest heaving as his orgasm fades away, Jisung removes the pillow from his face. Minho is standing beside the bed, now fully naked and retrieving a hand towel from his dresser.

“Why’d you stop?” Jisung asks, and it comes out sounding so pitiful. 

“I couldn’t wait any longer,” Minho says, climbing between Jisung’s still open legs. 

“Wait,” Jisung says, trying to sit up. “I wanna ride you.” 

Minho laughs. “You liked it that much?” 

Jisung, well, lacks stamina… and endurance. Minho’s tried to get him to ride him countless times, but it never lasts for long before Jisung’s legs burn and give out, and he complains for Minho to take over. 

“I liked it, and I love you,” Jisung corrects, moving over to switch places with Minho. 

As Minho gets settled, Jisung reaches into the drawer of his bedside table to grab lube. He straddles Minho, who’s now lying down, but he stays standing on his knees. Carefully, he pours some lube onto two of his fingers. He closes the bottle of lube and drops it to the bed. He leans forward, supporting his weight with his other hand, and brings his lubed fingers to his hole. 

Looking up at his face, Minho loosely holds onto his thighs to help support his balance. “You know, for some guys, they don’t even have to use their fingers after rimming.”

“Really?” Jisung asks. Slipping both his fingers inside, he is noticeably looser than he would usually be. “I don’t know… You’re big.” 

Minho shrugs. “It would be convenient, if possible, for us.” 

“You can’t wait a couple minutes?” Jisung teases. Fingering himself, he ignores his prostate in favor of stretching himself as much as possible. 

Minho strokes his thighs. “I can wait for… some time.” 

Jisung cracks a smile. He pulls his fingers out. Sitting back on Minho’s thighs, he grabs the lube again and pours some out directly onto Minho’s hard cock. He quickly strokes it to help warm it up and spread it evenly. Minho takes the bottle from him and closes it with a ‘click.’ 

On his knees again, Jisung scoots up Minho’s body to line his cock up to his hole. Reaching behind himself to hold it in place at his rim, he slowly sinks down on it, letting gravity do most of the work. Taking Minho is a stretch, but it’s one Jisung has learned to crave when they have sex. Sitting on Minho’s thighs again, now stuffed with cock, Jisung reaches for the hand towel to wipe the lube off his hand. 

He quickly tosses it aside. He leans forward and places his hands on either side of Minho’s head. Minho’s hands gently rest on his hips. Jisung slowly begins to lift his hips. 

“You’re so pretty, baby,” Minho praises quietly. 

“Thank you.” Jisung smiles down at him. “You’re not bad either.” 

Minho rolls his eyes, which makes Jisung laugh. 

He sinks back down on Minho’s cock. He lets himself lay over Minho. A kiss on the cheek turns into a peck on the lips.

“I thought you said—”

Jisung shushes him. “‘s okay, baby.” 

Minho’s brows lift slightly, and Jisung kisses his lips again, and again. Lying together, he tilts his pelvis to fuck himself on Minho’s cock. No long strokes, but it’s something. Minho lets out a small moan, so Jisung kisses him again.  

Sitting back up, Jisung decides to hurry up to at least give Minho a legitimately good few minutes before he inevitably has to take over. With determination pumping through him, Jisung bounces on Minho’s cock. Minho moves his hands to his ass, assisting in the lifting. 

Jisung bends his back, carefully leaning backward. His hand meets Minho’s leg, and he uses that to balance himself. Through a bit of trial and error, he manages to get Minho’s cock right where he wants it, and a whimper is punched out of him. 

“Already trying to cum, huh?” Minho teases. “So greedy.” 

Jisung keeps going, shamelessly chasing after his own pleasure. “‘s so good, Minho.” 

“Fuck,” Minho curses in an exhale. “I know it is, baby.” He caresses the tops of Jisung’s thighs. 

Jisung speeds up. “I love you, ah… seriously, so much.” 

“Love you too,” Minho pants out. “Proud of you, for today.” 

Jisung’s legs are starting to burn, but it’s hard to mind that right this moment. A particularly hard bounce leaves him moaning again. A buzzy warmth radiates through him from the inside out, and the pleasure builds bit by bit each time Minho’s cock rubs against his prostate. 

“Just a little more,” Jisung announces without any real reason. 

“Gonna cum on my cock?” Minho asks, pushing Jisung further toward the edge. “Might be a new record for you.”

Jisung whines. His muscles burn as he desperately chases after his orgasm.

“Go on, baby,” Minho continues. “I wanna feel it. Wanna see you cum for me.” 

Jisung reaches his peak. His hole naturally clenching down and untouched cock twitching, he cums. He tries to work himself through it, but his legs give out. Swooping in with perfect timing, though, Minho grabs his hips and thrusts up into him. Minho’s cock continuously brushing past his prostate as he cums takes Jisung’s breath away. Once his spent cock begins to soften, Minho pauses, so Jisung can lay against him. 

Leaning forward, Jisung ignores his cum sitting on Minho’s chest and stomach. Laying chest to chest, he grabs onto Minho’s shoulders as he resumes thrusting. 

“Always look so fucking pretty when you cum,” Minho pants beside his ear. “So happy, like you’ve been needing it.” 

Moaning, Jisung lets his face nestle into the crook of Minho’s neck. He’s sweating a little now, and Jisung can smell the mixture of it with his own body wash that he used earlier when showering. It’s so good, it’s so Minho, and it’s so safe and comfortable. 

Minho’s cock keeps sliding in and out of him at a fast pace. Occasionally, Minho’s huffs become moans. 

“Please, Minho,” Jisung begs. “Cum inside me.” 

Minho’s thrusts become more wild, more frantic as he loses control of himself. With a strangled cry, he suddenly stills, his cock deep inside. With the stillness, Jisung can feel it twitching as he cums. He kisses Minho’s collarbone. 

As Minho lays there trying to catch his breath, Jisung stays where he is. Minho’s hand gently strokes his back as they sit in almost silence. Eventually, Jisung lifts his head to look up at Minho’s face. Their eyes meet. Unable to reach his lips but still far too boneless to move, Jisung kisses his chin. 

Jisung bites into a cookie and shudders at the taste. 

Every year, his mom makes a batch of cookies on Christmas Eve to snack on that night and the next day after they open presents in the morning. Yesterday, Jisung told his mom that he and Minho would take over so she could relax, but it didn’t end well. His mom lied through her teeth that they ‘aren’t that bad,’ but Minho dumped way too much salt into the dough. 

“See? They aren’t that bad.”

Jisung turns around to see Minho standing behind him. “They’re very bad. Sorry, but I can’t lie.” 

Coming closer, Minho exhales through his nose in annoyance. He wraps his arms around Jisung. “Aren’t you supposed to wait until after presents?”

“Yeah… but you’re not a snitch, are you?” Jisung asks. 

“I don’t know. Are the cookies good?” Minho returns.

“They’re…” Instead of finishing his sentence, he shoves the cookie into Minho’s mouth, forcing him to take a bite. “You tell me what they are.”

Chewing, Minho grimaces. “They’re… okay. They’re fine.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself,” Jisung says, laughing. He quickly stuffs the rest of the cookie into his own mouth to get rid of the evidence, then removes Minho’s arms from himself. He heads for the living room but stops when he notices something different. 

He points up at the doorway. “Is that… mistletoe?” 

Minho smirks. “Definitely looks like it. I wonder who put it there…”

“It really wasn’t me,” Jisung says. “Did you?”

Minho shakes his head. 

Jisung blinks. Why would his mom put up mistletoe? 

Minho grabs his hand and tugs him underneath it. With his hands on Jisung’s waist, he slowly leans in. Jisung connects their lips in a peck, but Minho chases them. They kiss again—a real kiss this time—and Minho pulls away with a content smirk on his lips. 

Feeling his face heat up, Jisung laughs a little. “Alright,” he says, bringing a hand up to Minho’s chest to playfully push him away. “I don’t want my mom to see us making out.”

Minho laughs, eyes crinkling up so beautifully. 

"Come on," Jisung says, pulling Minho into the living room with him. 

Jisung's mom is already sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, waiting for them. 

"Who's first?" Jisung asks as he and Minho sit too. 

She reaches for a small box under the tree. "Minho. It's from me." She holds it out to him.

Minho takes the gift and begins to open it. 

Jisung looks up at his mom when she taps him on the arm. She gestures for him to watch Minho. He looks over at Minho, who's eyebrows go down in confusion as he looks down at whatever's inside the box. 

"What is it?" Jisung asks. 

Slowly, Minho reaches inside and pulls out a familar-looking pair of heart-printed underwear. Jisung's jaw drops as he turns his head to look at his mom. 

Tears come to her eyes with how hard she's laughing. She quickly wipes them away. "Couple underwear," she explains simply.

Jisung shakes his head in disbelief as Minho's cheeks turn pink.