Archive of Our Own

it's easy for ricky to fall into matthew and put on a facade. together, like this, anyone would think they were two people who had loved one another, and made the choice to be together. truthfully, they came to be completely by accident, and neither of them loved the other.

nearing on 2 years ago, ricky had came to korea with a threadbare wish of a plan. he knew he wanted to model, or act, or something. he had permanently put down the paintbrush in favour of chasing his pipe dreams, and honestly, it wasnt going great.

ricky had never struggled with money, so while it had been easy to secure an apartment and slot into the fashions of korea, it certainly hadn't been easy to hunt down any work. he often blamed his company and their more-than-lax approach to getting ricky booked. they would send him an email once a week informing him that none of their half-assed, cheap proposals had been accepted, and to simply bide his time some more. at the beginning, ricky would email them back offering to renew his headshots (his current ones being those they had taken in the shoddy office building basement), but he was usually simply declined. after a while, he just kind of gave up.

and maybe that couldve been proof he didnt want it that bad, that he was content living an undeserved lavish life in korea. but really, his stomach sank with guilt every time he had to contact his mother to top off his bank account. he didn't think it was that he enjoyed being sedentary. he hated it, really. he was a classic bored rich kid by every definition of the word, but there was something keeping him from carving his silver spoon into a set of keys, something that flooded him with relief every time he got his weekly email that there was no doors to try at anyway. there were weights fixed to his ankles that sunk him down into the sand every time he dared to step out. there was heaviness in his lungs that pinned him down against the mattress and held his heart until it stopped.

no matter what, there was dissatisfaction deep in his bones.

meeting matthew was something that seemed so strangely fated, like it was bound to happen and simultaneously would not have happened had a single circumstance been different. ricky was at the gym, in his all-black gym clothes that were secretly designer labels with fat price tags, when matthew had approached.

ricky had seen matthew at his gym before, and while he was admittedly pretty intrigued by him he was not very fond of being approached while working out. or approached in general.

matthew had sat himself down heavily on the lifting bench right across from ricky's. he was heaving and a little sweaty like he had already been working out, but he was still in jeans and a hoodie and ricky had heard him come in only a few minutes ago. “you seem like the only smart person in here,” matthew began. (when ricky looked around, there was nobody else in the gym). “can you give me some advice?”

there was a pause, and ricky was about to open his mouth to tell him, ‘no, i wont give you advice, i dont even speak korean that well, and i have mace in my bag,’ but matthew was talking again before he could even start. ricky couldnt imagine having to use his mace on this guy anyway, he couldn't have been taller than 5’7 and seemed closer to bursting into tears than rage.

“so my roommate, whos name is hanbin, got this new boyfriend, named hao, and they've been spending a lot of time together, and I mean that's really not a big deal, young love and all that. they're definitely soulmates and everything and it's awesome and they should start a family, but also, I can kinda tell they want to kick me out because hao keeps talking about moving in and hanbin keeps hinting at me getting a place of my own. hanbin is way too nice to ever say it to my face directly, but i just know they want me out and honestly, i kind of want to leave too because i used to have a huge crush on hanbin when i was younger and its kind of weird seeing him in a relationship. anyway hanbin wasn't home today but hao, his boyfriend, was and he tried to have a serious conversation with me so i just said i was going to the gym and came here.”

the words all come out in such quick succession that ricky honestly doesn't process most of it, but he gets the gist. he also notices, among picking up on his accent, that matthew doesn't actually ask him for any advice at all. he isnt quite sure what to say so he lets the silence settle between the two while he stews on it. but once again, matthew interrupts him before he can get a word out.

“are you trans?” matthew asks so bluntly that ricky chokes a little on his own saliva, to which matthew immediately looks apologetic.

“dude!” ricky croaks out. “you cant ask people that before you even know their name.”

“no, sorry, i dont mean it like that— i am, too. trans, i mean.” matthew reaches over to pat a still-coughing ricky on the back, but he bats his hand away quickly.

“like that makes it any better.” the words dont come out as harsh as ricky means them to, maybe due to the fact he just almost coughed himself to death, but are cutting nonetheless.

matthew breathes out a little ‘sorry,’ looking rather defeated over his small wrongdoing, and immediately ricky feels that guilt stomach-drop again.

“well, i am, for the record.” ricky starts, speaking much more slowly and carefully than matthew. “i think you probably shouldn't literally run away from serious conversations, first of all, and i think you should move out. if you know hanbins too nice to tell you then just take the hints hes giving you. thats his way of telling you. also, dont— dont ambush strangers at the gym, probably.”

matthew broke into a smile then, and ricky took note that seeing him smile was much better than seeing him all sad and defeated.

“heyy, you gave me advice anyway. so far all thats showing me is that ambushing strangers works out well!”

ricky smiled then too.

matthew and ricky made easy friends. it was a lot easier once they realized they were both much better at english than korean, and ricky found himself almost thanking god to have someone to speak english to. after being in Korea for a while, he honestly thought he was starting to forget how to.

matthew had taken rickys advice. he had his serious conversations, took his hints, started ambushing ricky rather than strangers, and began looking for a new place to live. after a month or two of apartment hunting to no avail, matthew had came to ricky, blinking his big round eyes and flashing his bright smile, and asked if he could move in with him.

he knew ricky had more than enough space to house himself and matthew, and them having become such fast friends made it all too easy for matthew to drop his pride and practically beg. ricky said no the first few times, but there was no immunity to be had when it came to seok matthew's charm. and so, matthew moved in.

soon after, a different arrangement came about.

“fuck, ricky, yes !” matthew was leaking on the nice, expensive couch, trying to cant his hips up to meet ricky's thrusts. ricky, two fingers deep inside his roommate and closest friend, who was squirming and moaning in pleasure beneath him, was still more focused on the couch.

“seok matthew, you didn't put down a towel. i told you, didnt i?” ricky pulled out without hesitation, ignoring the drawn out whine from matthew as he got up and disappeared to fetch a towel. something about the moment had left him distracted. sex with matthew was great, really, and it was so easy to slip on a different persona for a few hours, but something about the air today had left his mind wandering. they don't usually do this on the couch. specifically because it is just that— expensive, and very nice, and easily dirtied. it was a gift from one of ricky's aunts when he first got the apartment, and he had done a really good job of upkeep so far.

but ricky also had a tendency to be pedantic about these things. even after matthew had moved in and started making the space his own, strewn pokemon plushies across the couch and left pancake-batter messes on the marble countertop. the first month had been a nightmare, to put it plainly. it got to the point of ricky literally trailing matthew around the apartment and making it 100% certain that there was not a speck of mess left in his wake. of course, ricky had learned to share after a while, and their friendship had been rescued from jeopardy. that was around the same time the sex rolled around. it made enough sense, two lonely boys with a lot of hormones and no outlet who trusted one another and, being roommates, would see eachother naked eventually. there were kinks— literally— to work out along the way, but now they sort of had enough of a system to get by.

“seriously?” matthew called out down the hallway. “you couldnt have let me come first?”

ricky returned, signalling for matthew to get up so he could wipe the couch down. “if i let you come, there would just be more mess. prevention is the best solution.”

matthew stood there, pulling his sweatpants up where they had been halfway down his thighs. he took the towel from ricky and scoffed, scrubbing at the spot in the couch himself. “you know, taerae wouldnt treat me like this.”

ricky raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow, fixing matthew with a judgemental look. taerae was matthew's situationship, as he called it, with whom he hadnt gone further than making out and light petting. so while matthew was technically right— taerae would not stop halfway through fingering him to lay down a towel and bitch about the couch, it was only because taerae wouldn't be fingering him in the first place.

“oh, wouldnt he?” ricky felt slightly provoked. with the way matthew’s attitude had soured and he had re-dressed himself, ricky couldn't tell if it was on purpose or he genuinely thought taerae would be more gentlemanly. either way, ricky placed a hand at his waist and manoeuvred him back down to sit properly on the couch. “he'd let you take it on his filthy couch, where he surely hasn't laid down a towel under anyone else?”

matthew squinted at ricky, who had sank down between his thighs and started kissing at them through the fabric of his sweatpants. “ no, he'd take me to his bed, like a real man.”

friends with benefits . thats what google had told ricky. it didnt seem like the perfect description of him and matthews relationship. they were definitely more than friends at this point, seeing as ricky could almost map all of matthews body from memory. but they definitely werent lovers. something worse, maybe. but no amount of furiously googling “what does it mean if i have sex with my roommate sometimes but im kind of in love with someone else” would bring him to a satisfying conclusion. and as much as he loved fucking matthew, he really had no romantic feelings towards him. one or two romantic thoughts, maybe, but too much of the romance part of his brain was taken up by gyuvin, his on-off boyfriend.

maybe if ricky were more focused on really making sense of his wants and desires, maybe if he wasnt just wading through life coasting on short-term gratification, maybe then there wouldn't be room for two things so numbingly complex. but he wasnt focused, even presently, with the warmth of matthews skin beneath his fingertips. a real man, huh?

it was a strange thing for matthew to say, considering both of them were ambiguous at best. they had each had their respective struggles with gender before meeting one another, and while they both took testosterone and went through their lives as men, it wouldnt really be true to call themselves such. they had a unique dynamic, at least. a sort of fundamental understanding that neither of them really fit a singular norm. maybe thats why they could slot together so easily and weave their own kind of messed-up love story around one another. ricky knew, and he was sure matthew knew too, that they would never actually fall for eachother. when they could peer through one another so easily and see their own reflections staring back at them, it felt comical to even consider a slight possibility. they were two sides of the same, hopeless coin.

“is taerae a bad influence on you?” ricky asks, bringing his hands up to massage the meat of matthew's thighs. he knows the answer, at least right now, is a resounding yes. even without their weird involvement, it would be easy for anyone to see how matthews behaviour had changed. taerae wasnt a bad influence in the way ricky was implying, but moreso a constant damper on matthews eternal sunshine. b.t.— before taerae— matthew would practically bounce off the walls of their shared apartment 24/7. while ricky found it a little intense then, he missed it more than anything when the during-taerae era rolled around. nowadays matthew spends a lot more time skulking about the apartment, whining that he's waiting for taerae to reply to his text or brooding in the misery of being left dangling with his feelings. a situationship must be hell, ricky thinks. even if hes kind of in the throes of one himself.

instead of dwelling on that, he meets matthews eyes in the absence of a reply. he knows the look. he knows the longing, desperate and pleading, the ‘distract me from all of these feelings im having before i ugly cry all over you,’ look, and he will always indulge matthew. taerae must be crazy, to keep denying a being so full of love with nowhere to put it. ricky presses a tender kiss further up matthews thigh before he speaks. “oh well. too bad im not a real man. ill just have to fuck you here.”

ricky's hands move further up matthews thighs before they rest at the junction of his hips, rubbing soft cirles into his hipbones. matthew is awfully quiet now, huffing short breaths in and out as if hes growing impatient. a small, distant part of ricky sours a little. he knows this cant be the best way to deal with their emotions. after they fuck, after they lay bare together with mingling breaths and beading sweat, they'll still need someone to cradle their hearts. they will still be sad. just sad and post-orgasm.

ricky draws a hand closer to matthew's heat and soothes his thumb right over it. he can feel the warmth through matthew's sweatpants, can feel the way he throbs as ricky puts gentle pressure right where he knows matthews most sensitive part is. he's done this so many times now, he knows matthews body like clockwork. honestly probably better than he knows his own. its ingrained in every crevice of his brain by now. how matthew looks and sounds when he comes, when he feels euphoric and sated. it feels a little bittersweet not to handle it all with caution. matthew is clothed, but he's bare before ricky. hes vulnerable and exposed, but he doesn't want ricky to be soft. ricky knows this, matthew wants to be handled like he isnt something fragile so that he can play pretend for a little while.

“ricky…” matthew breathes, raw and pleading. “stop being a tease. you know i hate that…” ricky watches as matthews hands move to rest at the waist of his own sweatpants, as he dips his fingers under the band to pull them down, but ricky wastes no time stopping him. his hands fly up to catch matthew's at the wrist and place them back down on the couch.

“no, you made a mess. you cant be trusted. this is what you get for now.”

matthew groans loudly in frustration, and ricky is mean but he isnt cruel, so he immediately lurches forward to mouth at matthew through his sweatpants. he bites down softly right at the swell of matthew's crotch, unsure of anything hes catching in his mouth at all. his elegant hand moves back into place to softly thumb at matthews entrance as he pokes his pointed tongue around matthew's cunt.

then, theres whines of pleasure rather than groans of frustration. theres hands flying into his hair and softly gripping. it probably isnt much, considering the thickness of matthew's pants, but ricky can still see how its hot. he continues mouthing over matthews cunt, his thumb dipping into the fabric slightly where matt's slick hole is.

suddenly ricky is regretting his choice a little. he wouldnt have been so steadfast in his punishment if he knew being this close to matthews crotch while clothed would be so tortuous. hindsight, he supposes. but he cant back down now, or he'd be letting matthew win. instead, he uses his free hand to pull the fabric taut against matthews heat and bites down again, this time hard enough for matthew to really feel.

the moan matthew lets out honestly sounds a little pained. its awfully familiar and it gives ricky pause. he grows hyper-aware of himself then, of his own arousal pooling in his boxers, his t-dick hard and twitching desperately. but his brain kicks back into motion when matthew starts mewling and grabbing harshly at his shoulders. “please, please rik— fuck, we can do it on the floor, i dont even care about carpet burn, i just need your mouth on me.”

ricky feels lightheaded. hes hard and leaking now, but he staves off any urge to reach down and touch himself. the beautiful, needy view before him needs all his attention. he needs to take care of matthew— hes always felt that way. matthews never known how to take care of himself, but ricky is kind of grateful. if they were two healthy, well-adjusted individuals, they wouldnt be having life-changing sex every other day. ricky shuffles backwards and hauls matthew off the couch and into his lap, not very gentlemanly, but theyve never been that classy with it.

he manhandles matthew onto the ground with such ease that it almost makes him laugh. matthew, who's dedicated hours upon hours to sculpting such a muscular form, reduced to putty in rickys hands at the prospect of being eaten out. “desperate little thing, arent you?” ricky coos, soothing his hands over matthews thighs. it almost feels like he's playing a caricature. 

the position they end up in has ricky throbbing with the implication of it. hes tucked between matthews legs, so close to just grinding his hard t-dick against the swell of matthews ass. ricky has always been fine with the equipment he was given, but it's times like this when he really wishes he had a cock. he wanted to be able to feel matthews walls around him, wanted to share in the pleasure of tearing matthew apart. maybe he was slightly lust-blinded but something about matthew was so utterly fuckable. or maybe it was that they were two desperate, strung-along boys who had to inject literal horny liquid into themselves every week.

ricky dips his fingers under matthews waistband, shucks his sweats and underwear all the way down until matthew can kick them off and god matthew is beautiful. his cunt is flushed a pretty pink colour and already glistening in the low living room light. ricky could die right now and be satisfied. even if he never got to fuck fling gyuvin.

he slides his hands from matthews thighs downwards until he can use his thumb to spread matthew open, and honest-to-god moans at the sight. suddenly, he cant stand to simply be teasing matthew anymore. his foreplay quota was reached— spilling over, even— and he needed to cave before he got so horny that he started collapsing in on himself like a dying star. or worse, came untouched.

ricky shuffles backwards and aligns his face with matthews crotch. theyve been in this position enough times for ricky to know how matthew wants him, how fast or slow he should move, how he'll need to pin matthew down by the waist to stop him from literally humping ricky's mouth. absent-mindedly, ricky wonders if they'll be able to pretend when they get into their respective relationships. a valiant task for matthew but ricky knows he could be in a relationship tomorrrow if he wanted to. gyuvin is open and kind and caring, hes in love with ricky as much as ricky would ever want someone to be, but ricky cant shake his deep feeling of insecurity. 

everything feels far too temporary in seoul, like he'll get the call to give up and go back home to shanghai any day now. so its easy to fuck his roommate and get into a weird co-dependent more-than-friendship with him, because ricky just assumes he'll have to leave one day and never sort out his complicated feelings. but getting into a committed relationship with gyuvin, who he honestly feels like might be his soulmate, is far too risky and will hurt far too much when it breaks to pieces.

matthew, just as learned as ricky, habitually hooks his leg over rickys shoulder and draws him in close. when ricky looks up to meet matthew eyes he sees them brimming with tears. he doesn't know from what, but he knows from now on he needs to be present and grounded. he knows matthew can tell when his brain is being too loud, and he doesn't like the thought of that.

so he leans in. he presses soft kisses into matthews thighs until hes back in the moment enough to get bitey. he loves marking matthew up, taking ownership of something so precious makes him feel a little cocky and prideful. matthew loves it too. he told ricky once that he liked being sore after sex, that it gave him the same euphoric feeling as pain after a workout. and honestly maybe ricky has some unresolved anger issues, because he wasted no time to chomp at the bait. literally.

ricky wishes, idly, that he could bite down hard enough to make matthew bleed. its a stupid, risky fantasy but he can't help the throbbing deep in his core when he imagines in. crimson beading in the little craters left behind by rickys teeth, the familiarly metallic taste of blood, a little gross but as valuable liquid gold. he sinks his teeth into matthews flesh hard enough for it to bloom red, and matthew presents a noise thats sort of a yelp-turned-moan thing. apologetic, ricky laps at the wound before he moves to the other leg and does it again. 

he licks the bite until the skin is starting to purple and then turns his attention downward— the main course. he presses a soft kiss over matthews cunt, tongue darting out to gather and taste the slick pooling from his hole. they both moan in tandem and it spurs ricky on like nothing else. the shared pleasure ricky so desperately wanted was right there, in the sweet taste of matthews slick and the feeling of his tongue against the hot flesh.

using one arm to keep matthew still against the carpet, he moves his other hand back between matthews legs to thumb at his entrance. “you know youre beautiful, right?” he breathes out into matthews cunt, punctuating himself with a peck right on the tip of matthews dick.

matthews laughs in return, breathy and debauched. “i know.”

“good.”

ricky licks one last stripe from matthews hole up before wrapping his lips around his clit and sucking. he laves over it in soothing motions until he draws a pitchy moan out of matthew, and ricky has to try not to smirk where hes working. he loves taking matthew apart. sometimes, the wat matthew looks at him spurs something a little darker in him. a little meaner, like matthew shouldn't dare to meet his eyes at all. he always wonders, belatedly— usually after he pins matthew down and takes it out on him— just what exactly is wrong with him? 

at the end of the day he'll still take it out on matthew over again. even now, lapping harshly at his clit, thumb still dipping shallowly in and out of his entrance. hands fly up into his hair and grip until his scalp burns, and before he knows it matthew is twitching and crying out and gushing even more arousal than before. ricky rides out the orgasm kitten-licking at his clit until matthew is too sensitive that it hurts, at which point he solemnly detaches himself from matthews cunt and sits back to admire his work.

and they arent done yet, but matthew looks positively taken apart. his hair is stuck to his forehead and nape with sweat, hes flushed from his cheeks down to his chest disappearing under his collar, but hes smiling up at ricky like the cat who got the cream.

“feeling okay?” ricky asks, soothing a hand up and down matthews bruised thigh. even if matthew doesn't particularly like it, ricky always checks in. he wants to make matthew come so hard that he forgets his own name but he doesn't want to actually give matthew a psychotic break. he has taerae to do that for him.

“feeling great,” matthew mewls, tugging ricky down on top of him until their chests crash together. “kiss me?”

they dont usually kiss when they fuck. at the beginning, when they were just working their way past loaded gazes and heated touches, they had kissed a lot. well, they started with makeouts before they ever really touched each other. and it was nice, but maybe just a little too vulnerable to do every time. maybe matthew doesnt want to kiss taerae with the taste of ricky still lingering. ricky doesnt think he would really want to kiss gyuvin with the taste of matthew on him, either. 

but matthew is as hard to deny as ever, so ricky slots their lips together and kisses without inhibitions.

when matthew is satisfied, ricky finishes with a chaste kiss on his cheek and sits back on his haunches again. he takes in their positions, their status— matthew owes him an orgasm— and their options from this point. a part of him itches to rip matthew to shreds and piece him back together meticulously. a labour of love.

matthew is regimented and disciplined for the most part. he has the type of steadfast insurance that ricky wishes to have in his life but can never seem to commit to. ricky thinks it seems miscalculated, like theyre having rough sex on a whim and regretting it afterwards, but its precisely put together. ricky needs to take control, and matthew needs to relax. ricky needs an outlet, and matthew needs a distraction. they end up one anothers safe space and danger zone simultaneously, and it works perfectly. they're two different people when they take each other, pupils blown, making bad decisions, craving. there's been broken beds, torn sheets, blood and guts and bruises. now there's matthew writhing and begging and ricky tugging off both their shirts. now there's hands on matthews tits and teeth on his neck. now they are addicts itching for a fix. once isnt enough.

“ fuck, matthew…want— wanna fuck you. so pretty, so beautiful under me…” he kisses across the column of matthews neck, nipping little bites and soothing his tongue over the leftover marks. matthews chest is a soft weight in his hands, barely-there but still a handful in his unbound glory. ricky pinches at a puffy, pink nipple and relishes in the sound he gets from matthew in return.

“ricky, please, no more teasing. can't—”

ricky shushes him gently, lips still pressed into the warmth of his chest when he speaks. “you'll take what i give you.”

and matthew laughs. not a full-blown, hearty chuckle, but a huff of air and a little squeak and ricky wonders what exactly could be so funny about this. there's something matthew does— something matthew tries to hide beneath his flushed cheeks and sticky skin and desperate begging. something like this, like laughing, that tells ricky despite it all, matthew is taking pity on ricky. 

ricky isn't a dom, he isn't anything, really. he was pure and virginal not even 2 years ago. he was spoiled and immature and losing control of everything in his life and he needed someone like matthew. he needed a toy, someone less fortunate and more people-pleasing, someone he could manhandle and rip open gashes into with his canines. someone who would accept his stubbornness and let him dress their wounds with hundred dollar bills. in the end, he needed matthew.

so when ricky does get like this, when hes pinning matthew against the carpet and insinuating they could stop right here, when he's telling matthew he should've put down a towel and eating him out over his pants, matthew isn't threatened at all. he's playing pretend, soothing ricky's petulance with an unspoken authority and letting ricky take what he needs. he'll be fucked out and nodding off to sleep by the end of it, but it doesn't mean that ricky had done a good job.

the patronizing nature of it all is what pushes ricky over the edge. he hears matthew laugh, and he rears back to try and fix him with a look of dissatisfaction. but what he gets back is teasing, a beaming smile and wandering hands that seem to dare ricky to prove himself. matthew eyes him and it's a mockery, and ricky is so horny that he might start losing his shit.

ricky hauls matthews hips up off the carpet to make enough space to pull his own sweats and boxers down, trying his best to apply elegance as he tugs them off his legs and throws them to the side. he drops matthew back down on the carpet and relishes in how satisfying it is to overpower him. realistically, they're a good match strength-wise. they literally met at the gym and they go together enough for ricky to know matthews big 3 is well in the 300's, but matthew is far too easy to loosen up. it only takes one orgasm— not even, sometimes, just foreplay— for him to become all slow and floppy and somehow feather-light. 

maybe it boosts ricky ego a little too much, because hes shuffling into position and grinding his hot cunt against matthews far too ambitiously. his t-dick has been hard and throbbing and neglected for too long and the first slight of pressure has him doubling over, abdomen contracting and a threadbare whine escaping his lungs. matthew is so warm and wet against him, and he's starting to rut against ricky in tiny, pathetic circles. ricky isn't  a minute man, is very determined not to be, actually, so he pins matthew down by the hips and all but snarls at him.

“be good- just, fuck— cooperate, dude.”

matthew snorts. “ dude ? we're literally scissoring right now, brah.” ricky can tell he's tacking the ending word on to tease, but it doesn't stop him from scoffing and starting down a line of thought thats a little too judgy rich kid-esque for his own liking.

“yeah, we are, and you're ruining the mood. after i so graciously sucked your cock, too.”

for emphasis, to show he is not a man of bluffs, ricky cants his hips down and grinds their clits together. the feeling is heavenly but he tries not to let it show. no matter what, even if theyre fucking or joking around or somehow both at the same time, vulnerability is not matthew and rickys forte. ricky never really thought that his mannerisms receiving pleasure would be something all that vulnerable, but its hard to not want to keep it all inside when the person under him is so good at doing just that. ricky only ever sees however much of matthew he wants to show on any given day, but ricky can't say the same for himself. hes sloppy, he lets it slip between the cracks and seep into matthews skin and its just another thing that neither of them really need. another thing neither of them want to think too hard about, because the implications of having enough shame to keep your pleasure completely under wraps unless you decide to let it free are frankly a bit confronting. maybe even more so for ricky, who has every reason to wonder why he doesn't have the same inhibitions.

but maybe his lack of inhibitions is a gift, because matthew truly starts coming undone when ricky adjusts his position and starts bullying his swollen clit into matthews hole. it can't really get far, cant kiss the entrance of matthews womb and fill him up as much as ricky might like it to, but it feels undeniably good. ricky starts to melt into it, he starts to let go and chase his own satisfaction, shame and hesitation be damned. ricky knows life is hard and complex and having mostly-platonic sex with his roommate doesn't exactly make it any more simple, but rutting against matthews glistening cunt and feeling the edge of his hole squeezing his cock makes him dizzy and floaty and he can't find it in himself to care. he never can.

“ fuck, gonna— gonna cum, ‘tthew,” ricky mutters, moving his hand to the crook of matthews knee and pushing it further into the air. he can't stop staring at where they meet, where hes disappearing between slick folds and slipping out to let their cocks rub together. matthew is flushed and squirming and probably on the edge too, and ricky cant help but feel prideful that he gets to have matthew when so many others would kill to have the chance. well, should be killing to have the chance.

it takes one final thrust against matthews entrance for ricky to shudder through an orgasm. a little dazedly, he unhooks his hand from matthews knee and moves it down to rub fast and uncoordinated at matthews little clit, bringing him to orgasm for the second time. he can feel the wet gush of arousal where he's still pressed against matthew, and in the end matthew still owes ricky an orgasm— but he'll get to that next time.

he's staring down at matthew watching him catch his breath when the idea comes. without moving from between matthews legs, he reaches over and grabs matthew's phone from where it had fallen between the couch cushions.

“ricky? what are you—”

he unlocks it with ease, knows most of matthews passcodes off by heart for what he'd convinced himself was ease of living. its a subtle reminder that he knows matthew far too well, and being that the case, he should know what he's about to do might be well over the line.

he opens the camera and snaps a few photos, ignoring matthews protests as he switches to the messages and— okay, maybe he really shouldn't do this. but matthew deserves better than a quick fuck on the rough carpet. matthew deserves better than to kiss someone he doesn't love. matthew deserves to have everything hes ever wanted handed to him on a silver platter and then some. so, ricky taps on taerae's contact and sends a single photo. matthew, in low light, stark naked and maybe obviously post-orgasm. rickys hand is visible in the corner, resting possively over matthews hipbone, just incase the angle of the photo wasn't enough of a hint that matthew wasn't alone.

snickering, ricky drops the phone down on the carpet next to matthew and detaches himself from their sweaty pile on the floor. “thank me later.”

he's already halfway down the hallway when he hears matthew screech, “what is wrong with you!?” he still doesn't know the answer to that, really.

but he knows matthew, he knows the tone. matthew isn't mad. he knows matthew wont fight him or try to get him back. he knows matthew like the mirror he stands bare in front of. he knows matthew by the red marks he's left down rickys shoulders, the sting in his scalp where matthew had grabbed him. he knows matthew by the fragments of heart and soul he's scattered around their apartment, a place ricky will probably never be able to think of as just his again, even after matthew leaves. ricky wants to say if, but he knows matthew inside and out like he knows himself, and he will leave.

when ricky finally saunters back to his room post-shower and clothed, he sees no presence of matthew as he passes through the hallway. he flops down onto his bed and checks his phone to see a text from gyuvin.

gyuvin • 6:27pm

hi rwicky! wanna facetime while i make dinner? 😝

ricky • 9:13pm

sorry. got busy

maybe another time.