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English
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Published:
2025-02-21
Completed:
2025-03-08
Words:
38,028
Chapters:
21/21
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93
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If You Think I'm Pretty Lay Your Hands On Me (I Know You Can't Stop Thinking 'Bout It)

Summary:

A Harley Keener/Peter Parker story.

Harley Keener goes to New York after his mother's death, taking his sister with him, and moves in with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. He starts going to Midtown High, where he coincidentally falls in love with none other than Peter Parker, not knowing he's Spider-Man or that he's close with Tony Stark as well.

The two go through a series of challenges and truths.

(Title from "If u think i'm pretty" by Artemas)

P.S. I might turn this into a 2-part series, but I need to see how this one goes first.

Follow my tumblr (@elijah-harley) for updates and news about my fics!

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

“Have you settled in?” Tony asked, leaning against the doorframe as he looked down at Harley.

 

“Pretty much,” Harley huffed, wiping the sweat off his brow.

 

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Tony tilted his head, a smile playing on his lips.

 

“I think so,” Harley nodded.

 

“Great,” Tony smiled.

 

The next day would be Harley’s first day at Midtown High. He wasn’t all too eager - it was school, after all - but he was ready to adjust to his new life. The sound of footsteps filled the air as somebody rushed into the room.

 

“Abbie!” Harley chuckled, picking his sister up and twirling her in the air.

 

“Harls!” Abigail laughed, hugging her brother.

 

Tony watched with a smile as the two let go of each other. Pepper walked approached the room, standing at the doorway, next to Tony.

 

“Kids - Tony, that includes you - what do you want for dinner?”

 

“Chinese would be nice,” Harley shrugged.

 

“Chinese it is,” Pepper smiled.

 

Pepper left the room, with Tony following close behind.

 

“So, Abbie,” Harley smiled, “Are you excited for tomorrow?”

 

She wrinkled her nose.

 

“It’s school .”

 

Harley laughed.

 

“Aren’t you excited to make friends?” He asked instead.

 

“I don’t know,” Abigail shrugged. “Are you?”

 

“Yeah,” Harley decided. “I am.”

 

- - - - -

 

The next morning, Harley woke up early, putting on a hoodie and cargo pants. He prepared his backpack before going to the kitchen, where Pepper and Tony were already up.

 

“Good morning,” Pepper smiled.

 

“Mornin’,” Harley nodded at both Pepper and Tony.

 

“Good morning,” Tony echoed, sipping his coffee. “Happy will be driving you to school.”

 

“Ah, thanks.”

 

“Harley, dear, could you please wake your sister?” Pepper asked kindly.

 

“Oh, of course,” Harley smiled and nodded, making his way to the room Abigail was staying in.

 

“Abbie, wake up, we have school,” Harley gently shook her.

 

Abigail whined, burying her face deeper into the pillow.

 

“Abigail.”

 

“Ugh,” She huffed, sitting up. “I’ll get ready.”

 

“Thank you,” Harley rolled his eyes, stepping out of the room.

 

“What would you like for breakfast?” Tony asked, grabbing a box of cereal.

 

“Cereal’s fine,” Harley shrugged.

 

“Great.”

 

Not long after, Abigail stepped out of her room, dressed up and ready for school, carrying her backpack.

 

“Here,” Harley handed her a bowl of cereal, then took one for himself.

 

Once the siblings had finished their food and put their backpacks on, Tony and Pepper accompanied them to the ground floor, where they met Happy.

 

“Have a good day at school!” Pepper called out.

 

“We will!” Abigail replied loudly, beaming.

 

They stepped into the car and sat down.

 

Happy drove them to their schools in complete silence. Harley made no attempt to speak, but Abigail was way too eager to.

 

Once Harley was in school, he got introduced to his class and sat down.

 

- - - - -

 

Peter Parker was having a good day.

 

Was .

 

Up until the new kid had gotten introduced to the class.

 

The boy was… pretty, to say the least.

 

He tried to clear his thoughts, but they wouldn’t go away.

 

He knew he was straight. He’d been straight his whole life. He couldn’t be gay.

 

“Heya.”

 

Peter turned to see none other than the new kid, Harley, talking to him.

 

“O-oh, hi,” He stammered.

 

Harley flashed a smile. “Would you mind if I sat here?”

 

“Of course not, go ahead,” Peter said, internally screeching.

 

- - - - -

 

Peter .

 

That’s what Harley found out later that the boy’s name was.

 

He was very pretty, honestly. Dark curls on pale skin, his eyes chocolate brown.

 

He seemed shy, but Harley didn’t mind. It kind of added to his charm, really.

 

Harley turned away, a blush covering his cheeks.

 

- - - - -

 

The rest of the day went by calmly. He and Peter had the same classes, so he sort of stuck to the boy during the day as a means to not feel completely lost.

 

“It was nice meeting you,” Harley smiled before they parted ways.

 

He left once Peter stuttered out a response.

 

- - - - -

 

Peter felt so humiliated.

 

He was Spider-Man, for God’s sake! How could he lose his cool so easily? Over a boy ?

 

Besides, he wasn’t gay.

 

He couldn’t be.

 

He just couldn’t.

 

And he wasn’t. He knew he wasn’t.

 

Peter went out to patrol that night, swinging through the city with thoughts swirling in his mind.

 

He didn’t get much done. He stopped a few muggings, but that was it. He returned home early to finish his homework and went to bed.

 

- - - - -

 

“What’s got you so happy?” Abigail questioned as they sat in the car, tilting her head.

 

“Nothing,” Harley waved off, unable to prevent a smile from tugging on his lips.

 

He noticed Happy glance at them through the rearview mirror.

 

“It’s nothing, really.”

 

“Then, you wouldn’t mind telling us,” Abigail grinned.

 

“It’s nothing,” Harley repeated. “Just a boy.”

 

“A boy, huh?” Abigail smirked, giggling. “What’s his name?”

 

“Peter.”

 

Happy almost drove the car off the road, twisting the wheel just before they did.

 

“Careful,” Harley grumbled.

 

Happy was very obviously not saying something, judging by the silent laughter he seemed to be going through.

 

“What does he look like?” Abigail continued, ignoring it.

 

“He has brown, curly hair. Big brown eyes. Not too tall. Extremely smart, from what I know. He answered literally every single question in biology and chemistry, he…” Harley rambled on.

 

Not long after, they reached the tower.

 

As soon as they stepped out of the elevator, Abigail rushed into the kitchen and set her bag down. She saw that Tony and Pepper were there, and giggled.

 

“Harley has a crush!” She sang.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow, turning to face the flustered boy at the doorway.

 

“I do not-”

 

“You do!”

 

Harley set his bag down as well before turning to face the adults in the room.

 

“I don’t. She’s lying.”

 

Abigail gasped dramatically.

 

“How dare you?!”

 

“Nominate her for an Oscar, honestly,” Harley sassed.

 

“I think I believe Abigail,” Pepper said, amused.

 

“Traitor,” Harley grumbled.

 

“So do I. Now, what’s this mystery girl’s name?” Tony teased.

 

“It’s a boy! He likes a boy,” Abigail said.

 

The room froze for a moment.

 

“What’s this mystery boy’s name?” Tony corrected, the teasing tone still in his voice.

 

Harley hesitated before answering.

 

“Peter.”

 

He would find out much later why Tony had laughed.