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In a lifetime of adventure and magic, there's very little that surprises Fluttershy anymore. Her life has grown expansive and deep from the mocking taunts of pegasi as a child in Cloudsdale, full of friendship and rich in love. She's now confident enough to stand up for her friends when it matters, soft-spoken out of wisdom more than fear, a flyer when she can aid her animal friends but content to spend most of her time on the ground. Her younger self might not even recognize her, and the thought isn't one of victory or dread, or even apathy. It instead settles quietly in her heart, a feather floating gently to its place in her chest.
But still, though, a small piece of Fluttershy remains the same pony: a crystalline shell right beneath her skin, a small filly at flight camp so scared that she doesn't even catch herself when she falls from the clouds. She tries to hold that part of herself equally, bring it to the light the same as the Fluttershy who has helped save Equestria countless times over, who has won the blessing of the Element of Kindness and sits even now on the Council of Friendship. There are wonderful things too about that previous self: her eye for wonder, her bravery in moving to Ponyville on her own. But at times, she can feel the old fear rear up inside her, tear at the edges of the pony she's decided to become and threaten to pull her back into the self that was almost too afraid to say hello to Twilight, the pony that would become one of her dearest friends. Her friends loved her then, yes, but surely they prefer her now, right? Having done all of the work of years and learned scrolls and scrolls full of lessons about friendship and transformed herself into somepony truly worth that kind of generosity, loyalty, honesty, laughter.
It’s the new Fluttershy that is called upon most nowadays, in-between seeing to her animal preserve, working as a part-time teacher at the School of Friendship, helping Discord track down artefacts like Grogar’s Bell so they can be studied and protected, visiting her parents and Zephyr at his new barber shop occasionally, and of course, the Council of Friendship. She’s kept so on-her-toes that she barely has time to travel to Canterlot each moon, and lately has asked Discord to simply teleport her there instead. He waves off the suggestion that she’s imposing on him, and instead offers her a small little friendship locket, that they can both open whenever they’d like and contact the other (if they would also like). She tucks it gently in the wave of her hair, right next to her heart. Fluttershy used to tense each travel through the Chaos Realm, but time has turned her canny and wise to its twists and turns: always unexpected, but now familiar like an old sweater, or a group of six friends, or a Draconequus you have tea parties with every week and who maybe might be something you’re a little too afraid to put to name yet.
The School of Magic's pre-existing curriculum has been tough to shift towards a focus on friendship and social development in addition to purely academic coursework, and no-longer-newly-crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle has spent several moons attempting to properly incentivize her studious fillies to venture into friendship studies. The bulk of the work (and complaining) develops at the Council of Friendship, with many diagrams, which always makes Fluttershy feel a warm fondness.
“But how do I teach these fillies who think they know everything?! Maybe I need to go back to Friendship Remedial Courses to re-learn the basics?” Twilight’s latest rant is about to finish spiraling her into a tizzy when the five of them (six with Spike) gently stop her harried pacing/flying, and hand her a warm mug of sparkle tea from Pinkie and a soft silk blanket, courtesy of Rarity.
“Maybe all they need is a little push? Once they can actually get a taste, the rest might follow easier than you think.” Applejack gently nudges Twilight with her hoof and grins. “Worked for you anyways. Couldn’t get rid of you+ after you got a taste of real Ponyville charm.”
Rarity nods excitedly as she smooths the wrinkles from the blanket. “Perhaps you can make the first friendship lesson feel… grand and outside of the ordinary! No-pony likes the idea of their drab, normal selves meeting new people; maybe it could be a special occasion!”
“And everyone wants to feel like they’re a part of something! No one wants to be brave alone: it’s easier together!” Pinkie gesticulates so hard that a few candies dislodge themselves from her hair, which are quickly gathered by the palace staff, who have realized by now that free candy somehow manifests at every single Council of Friendship.
“Something fast-paced, where they don’t get time to let their nerves get the best of them!” Rainbow Dash crafts a mini-whirlwind to accentuate her point and as Fluttershy stares at the swirl, all of the pieces click into place.
“Have them attend the Grand Galloping Gala,” she suggests, and the room focuses to a point around her. “We were so excited to go our first time, and even though it wasn’t everything we’d dreamed, in the end, it pushed us in the right directions. Just like how I get the animals at the reserve to help with clean-up: say it’s not required, but it’s worth extra credit.”
“Fluttershy, you’re a genius!” Twilight says and she beams with pride. The old Fluttershy never would have been confident enough to say that. “Celestia always says, when in doubt, make sure achievement-hungry honors ponies have academic structure to unintentionally fuel their social development!”
The rest of them smile and understand the spirit, if not the exact details. Classic Twilight. As they all chatter and start coming up with ideas to make the Gala into a true mixer, Fluttershy glows with happiness in the brand new life and self she’s made for herself. Kindness and magic, all from her and for her. Finally, a pony she and everyone can be proud of. But. That young, scared part of her remains still, deep within, and Fluttershy attempts to give it its space, but she can't help but wake each morning hoping that today's the day she's finally outgrown it, can leave the past fear steeped in her bones and hooves and chest behind with the dawn. She wishes it so sincerely, and so often, that it's inevitable that it comes back to bite her.
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It's the Grand Galloping Gala, and Twilight's first class of students attend in a flurry of activity unseen since the year Discord invited The Smooze. Fluttershy is here as a chaperone, dressed to impress in her Rarity-couture-best, and Discord has humbly agreed to come as her plus one and behave himself, which is quite rare form for him. They link hoof and claw, and into the doors they go, right into a crowd bustling with a mix of the normal socialite crowd, nervous young ponies dressed in academic-minded ensembles, and, of course, the retired Princesses of the Sun and Moon, drinking their way through the variety of punch-bowls in the back of the room. Tree Hugger waves from the charcuterie and apple assortment nearby and Fluttershy compliments her dress and is suddenly glad she’s saved up all of her weekly social batteries for tonight, because it’s so much, sometimes. Seeing her best friends is as easy as breathing, of course, but large gatherings never cease to wear away at her nerves. But she’s the confident Fluttershy of the future now, so she grits her teeth and smiles over and over to people she would normally not even have to fake it with.
The students move in awkward waves, and Fluttershy loses herself in the simple routine of nudging disparate groups together, sending wallflower fillies to sprout near each other, hearing one pony get excited about historical dance and suggesting they say hi to the pony wearing Paleoponian-era accurate formal wear. In between catching up with her friends, checking in with Twilight and the others, and trying to seem at least relatively entertained, the night passes in a simultaneous slog and swirl. New Fluttershy: grin, bow, move, suggest, smile, curtsy, avoid stepping on the train of her dress, and—
She runs straight into Discord, who catches them both from falling with a wave of his claw. In his hand, his plate of appetizers stacks itself back into order from the tumble she’d sent his careful pyramid into.
Fluttershy blushes a deep pink, suddenly scattered. “Oh Discord, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there!” And now she’s lost track: was she supposed to complimenting Applejack about the cider, or was she supposed to be helping the student who didn’t know how to suggest songs to Vinyl Scratch, or…
Despite her best efforts, it must show on her face, because Discord isn’t saying anything about their collision or his bowtie that she’s mussed, he’s just… looking at her, in a way she’s not sure she’s seen in quite a long time. “Fluttershy, I meant to bring you this earlier: they were out of the right kind, and I assumed you’d prefer me wait for the chefs to prepare ones that don’t fly away when you try and eat them.
“We can share these on the balcony, if you wish?” He gently floats the plate underneath her gaze and she sees cucumber sandwiches, cut carefully from their crusts and stacked with the tell-tale tingle of chaos magic, and a couple of claw-marks where more detail was demanded. It takes a second to realize he’s… worried. Discord is worried about her.
Inside her chest, the gratitude from his offer wars with the shame that he’s noticed at all. Tonight is about helping her friends and Twilight’s students feel the true inspiration of friendship, not about worries Fluttershy should have left behind when she learned to fly. Scared to make a wrong move, quiet when she should be bold, pushing away friends in her own reluctance and cowardice and never saying what she actually feels. She’s her own pony and she can handle her own weaknesses. However. She finally gathers the courage to look Discord in the eye and in his gaze is none of the judgement she’d feared—only kindness and worry for his dear friend.
Fluttershy breathes, and lets some of the tension fall from her shoulders. “...Thank you Discord. I’d like that very much.” In a snap of his fingers, they’re on the balcony of the castle overlooking the main ballroom and a bit of the courtyard. The quiet is a welcome change of pace, and together, they sit and nibble at their respective parts of cucumber sandwich. She sips at her favorite punch and watches the ponies in the crowd below.
Some of the students she’d assisted are now talking animatedly to each other, and some are finally taking to the dance floor, helped along by the other chaperones. Pinkie teaches someone how to use a confetti canon and Rainbow Dash spins with the Wonderbolts and the entranced fillies below. Rarity charms the crowd by managing to upgrade everyone’s outfits with nothing but rhinestones and determination, and Applejack recruits a new batch of unicorns to make freshly brewed cider on the spot. Above it all, Twilight looks on proudly with her millions of lists and Spike shakes his head fondly at the beautiful mess.
It hurts in a way Fluttershy is loathe to actually describe. Against her better instincts, she fills the silence with her own voice: “They trust me to do my part for the Gala, and I leave instead. Or maybe I wasn’t making much of a difference anyways. I wish I was better at this. I should be by now, right? ” And that’s not actually true, and she knows it’s just the fearfearfear of a pony long gone. That does nothing to keep the thought from gnawing away at her heart or her hooves to shake as she steadfastly chews away at a sandwich.
The thing is that Discord doesn’t quickly rush to her defense like she knows he wants to, he just looks through her again like he knows exactly what she’s afraid of. “I wish I was better at this too. But a long time ago, somepony wise taught me that it’s less about how good you are at it and more about how much you try, and how much you let everyone else help you along the way.”
And maybe the brightest, kindest hurt, is that he does know, in his own way. Fluttershy thinks back to his first time hosting a tea party in the Chaos Realm, all prim and proper and terrified that he’ll be too much for her, their first argument after he’d turned the entire world to frost and presumed she was much too kind to ever say a word against him. The memories nestle right beside that disastrous Gala with The Smooze, the day Discord invited her to a game of Ogres & Oubliettes, him faking his own grievous injury, and when he’d given up all of his magic for even a chance to save her and her friends and all of Equestria.
Only five ponies, one dragon, and one Draconequus in the entire world truly know her. And even then, they’ll never really know her then or now unless she lets them in.
Fluttershy leans over and lets her head rest against Discord’s soft scales and feathers. She lets the tension drain from her body, and feels his body mirror the exhale. “I bet that wise pony wasn’t always that wise. Maybe she’s still learning to be wise, even now.”
Underneath her shoulder, Discord hums pleasantly. “Well, that’s only to be expected. Friends are strange like that: they care about who you are and who you were.”
Her next reply comes out in a whisper, like saying it out loud betrays some long-ago promise. “But what if my friends find out there is no new me and old me? What if it’s just me, and I’m going to be terrified and weak forever, no matter how hard I try?”
“Then, Fluttershy, I’ll be happy to be friends with the fearful and frail ‘just you,’ as long as you’ll have ‘just me,’ in all of my hubris and my nerves and my chaos.”
“Always,” she says, and knows suddenly with crystalline clarity that her closest friends would respond exactly the same to her. Discord wraps his arm around her in a hug, and together, they watch the Gala come to a close.
In the ballroom, her friends continue to struggle and succeed and dance and laugh, and it no longer feels like an indictment: it feels like a celebration they’ll welcome her back to whenever she’s ready. Fluttershy can never be who she is now without who she was. And who she was is who she still is. And whether she decides to be somepony entirely new again or whether she never changes ever again, her friends will be there, waiting for whichever Fluttershy emerges, arms and hearts open wide as the entire universe.