Work Text:
I would have been here sooner
but I kept on musing
over anthills and leaves and bits of clay
the insides of clocks and washing machines
and LC typewriters branded in gold
And I would have been here sooner
but I kept on dreaming
over faces turning gray to gold
at dawn, over eyes which were nearer
the color of the sea hitting the shore
than anything I had ever seen
over bodies which were ovens
when the nights grew cold
And I would have been here sooner
but I kept on talking to old ladies on buses
and young men in gas stations and dogs and cats
and strangers on airplanes and old friends in the ether
and ghosts who nest in memories
And I would have been here sooner
but I kept on sleeping barely awake in the middle
of the afternoon tired and dry-eyed in the middle
of the night curled inside myself clutching my
clothes like omens of defeat crying to myself
for hours before I would wake and rise and go on
And I would have been here sooner
but I kept on going crazy hearing voices
talking to myself talking to the voices
coughing up lies coughing up promises
mostly couldn't tell the difference
And I would have been there sooner
much sooner much sooner
to the place you would want me to be
with my shoes tied and my knees unscraped
my hair combed and maybe a little lipstick
and a proper boyfriend and proper clothes
and a proper occupation
except for the important things I had to do
dreaming half my life away in the backdoor of sleep
So, I got here as soon as I could, stumbling over life
with my eyes wide open, and this is as fast as I can go
and I'll probably be here the next day and the next
and the next til the words become dust and disappear