Chapter Text
In one of William Shakespeare’s lesser-known plays, The Tempest, he coined the word “sea change.” The phrase sea change has come to denote a paradigm shift that alters the way people see or experience things. It’s not unlike the concept of rebirth. Even if you don’t believe in literal reincarnation, the idea of a spiritual or metaphorical rebirth is appealing.
Wei Wuxian was sprawled on the slab of rock that served him of makeshift desk, despondent. He was half-heartedly playing with a brush trying valiantly not to brood.
Today was the day Shijie married her peacock, and he was not here to see her, resplendent in her wedding finery. Today she would represent the pride of Yunmeng, born anew from ashes and not to be dismissed by anyone after their victory against the Wen. And despite everything, his love for his Shijie, his contribution to the war, he was not here. There was not anything tying him to her anymore. He has asked to part with Yunmeng Jiang to protect them and yet it left a bad taste afterward. It didn’t regret it, but he couldn’t help feeling isolated, nonetheless.
Since Lan Zhan came seven days ago, he tried to keep busy to forget he would not be allowed to see the last of his family for this happy event. It made his very soul ache, for, once again, he was left behind.
With Wen Ning’s return to consciousness, the Wen were in better mood, likely energized with the prospect of hope. They smiled more despite their exhaustion, and more were willing to approach him, thanking him. He was happy for them, relieved for Wen Qing could once again stand proud and tall and somehow, he was proud to have accomplished what he set himself to do to repay his debt. He was happy they lately managed to gather enough food to eat twice every day. He was happy that A-Yuan chatted with enthusiasm about his gifted toys.
But their happiness reminded him of what he lost, purposefully or not. So, Wei Wuxian tried to solve his other tasks outside of protecting this family from the world and the Burial Mounds. He tried to think of better ways to reduce the resentful energy in the soil, in the water. How to farm healthier crops, how to bring safe water to the encampment without risking a tiring and dangerous trip to the nearest clean spring.
However every time he tried to reflect on his tasks, his head was empty, the lines in front of his eyes kept blurring and he knew he should not be wasting the few reserves of paper and ink they had, before they were reduced to bamboo slates.
He let himself be nagged by Wen Qing about laundry and tilling. He gave a hand to the uncles to better shelter them. He relieved Popo when she was too tired and needed someone else to entertain a-Yuan. He helped the aunts whilst his crooked and trembling hands barely managed to thread a needle, and they patched up the new tears on their clothes.
The few pots of fruit wine uncle four made were long drunk between all of them. And despite the dryness around them, the nights were cold with little reprieve from the wailing ghosts. Wei Wuxian shivered as the poor candles around him trembled with the wind.
She doesn’t care, whispered insidiously the tally. She came to show you how much happier she is, now you are not here to ruin everything.
Wei Wuxian tried to ignore the poisoned voices of thousands of deformed souls, so full of malice and of hate they wanted to bathe everything in blood. The Stygian Tiger Seal was barely restrained over the blood pool and behind as many barriers and talismans that Wei Wuxian could design to restrain it. Yet, no matter how contained it was, their voices could always be heard.
"She cares", snarled Wei Wuxian, barely restraining his voice to not project outside the cave.
She did not! gloated another shrill voice, triumphant. She came with her beautiful robes and her jewels with only a pitiful bowl of soup when she knows the people here are barely able to eat.
She did not look at you, another cruel one added, when you were fading before her eyes at Lotus Pier whilst she asked you to keep smiling.
She did not care, a young voice, that of a child trembling with barely suppressed tears, when her mother hurled insults and abuse at you and her father ignored all the happenings.
She only cares, all voices melted together to make a frightening echo, when she can keep her world as she wants. Where she is loved and useful and nothing concerns her.
"Enough! "snarled Wei Wuxian
"That’s not who Shijie is! She cares! Keep quiet!"
The echoes of malicious laughter answered him and once again he fought to drown the voices, forcing the resentful energy around him to gag the tally until it inevitably manage to make itself heard again.
The tally was silenced, until only the pitiful wails and the far away snarls of the goshts of the burial mounds were heard.
Wei Wuxian let himself fall on his seat, like a puppet with its strings cut. Another gust of wind made the flames of the candles dance, one extinguished. He idly followed the smoke, trying to rid himself of his maudlin mood, relieved that the cave was the only place where he could be alone. Otherwise, Wen Qing would be after his hide for brooding, plying him with tasks to keep him occupied.
A thought came to him. There was another task he kept avoiding. Maybe it was time again to find a way to destroy the tally. Their voices were insidious, and he constantly had to fight to not drown in their anger, in their promises of revenge. If he did not have to fight every day to stay sane, maybe he would be more efficient? The idea was tempting. If he managed to rid himself of the tally, he would not have that much of a target on his back. He would be much more vulnerable though.
The stygian tiger seal screeched, angry enough to again break his silencing spell.
You need us! growled a thousand of voices.
"I managed fine without you so far!"
You are weak without us, accused gleefully a dark voice. A mundane! cackled another. How will you protect them without our might? bellowed them all.
"Silence !" screamed Wei Wuxian back. "I am more than capable to make them kneel on my own. I managed to conquer the Burial Mounds without you!"
You’re fading! accused the tally. Your barely stitched together body will not be able to do much more! You are a weak, pathetic human believing you can do anything without us, they roared in unison, vibrating so much in their prison while wisps of dark resentful energy invaded his cave.
"I do not need you anymore! The war has ended!" his voice was hoarse as he used Chengqin to disperse the resentful energy.
Not for you! never for you! You’re a weapon of war like us, discarded when your task was done!
Without us you are nothing! they screeched, like nails on boards.
"I AM your master! he roared back. I am the one who decides what I want to be! I am the nightmare of the Sunshot Campaign, and you are my tool!"
With that he pushed all the resentment inside the cave, barely breathing through the blood clogging his throat whilst he played his ghost flute to tighter bind the recalcitrant seal.
We may be yours, but you are OURS! We won’t let you go! a last furious howl before cowing for the night.
A smirk on his bloodied lips to answer the challenge Wei Wuxian silenced the Stygian Tiger seal anew. It was time to change the game, even against impossible adversaries. It will not be said that Wei Wuxian went down without a fight.