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Ochako pillowed her head on her arms with a groan. She was sitting at her desk, laptop still open with information on her latest case displayed on the screen. She was exhausted but knew she couldn’t sleep yet, just one last email to the hero commission detailing the most recent attack and she could sleep.
Yeah right. Ochako sighed, she knew better. As soon as Katsuki got home her chances of a good night’s rest were toast. Don’t get her wrong, she loved him, she really did. But recently everyday was a fight, though she supposed fighting was a generous way to refer to it. He wouldn’t talk to her, hadn’t really in weeks now.
Silence from Katsuki was never a good thing. The last time he had gone silent was after his last physical when the doctors had told him if he didn’t upgrade his hearing aids, he was going to go deaf before he turned thirty. To work off his anger he would typically hole up in their home gym until he felt more in control of his emotions. He had driven himself to near quirk exhaustion more than once and she always gave him an earful about how he should be looking after his own wellbeing as much as he did everyone else’s.
But the difference was he had always come back to the comfort of their bedroom afterwards, where she would be waiting to listen as he vented about whatever had vexed him so deeply. He would pull her close and bury his face in her neck, hands easily finding their home on her waist as she held him back just as tightly. He found comfort in her quiet, steadfast optimism. At least he had before.
In recent weeks all she heard were his explosions and frustrated yells echoing through their house late into the night. By the time he came to bed, she was hanging on by the skin of her teeth. She would glare at him, mouth open and ready to give him a piece of her mind only to be pulled into a searing kiss that scrambled her thoughts so thoroughly that her complaints were all but forgotten in the wake of their combined passion.
The intimacy stopped there as of late, no pillow talks or strong arms enveloping her that normally accompanied their couplings. Truth be told, Ochako missed him desperately. She missed their banter and whispered conversations in the dim light of their room.
God, she even missed him calling her cheeks, or round face. She’d be fine with anything that included him talking to her and seeing her as more than just a bed warmer. They’d only been married a year, wasn’t that sort of shit supposed to happen a few years in?
Ochako lifted her head to scrub a hand across her face, a pitiful attempt at waking herself up just a little bit. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the door slam shut, not having heard it open. Her heart leapt into her throat; her senses clogged with hope that tonight he’d finally break out of his funk and speak to her about whatever was going on in his head.
She hovered her fingers above the keys of the laptop, planning to bang out this last email. If he hadn’t come to talk to her by the time she was finished, she would go to him. She was at her wits end, they hadn’t truly spoken in weeks, and she was fucking lonely.
Twenty minutes passed before Ochako finally finished and hit send. Still no sign of Katsuki. The sound of his explosions reached her ears and she steeled herself against the realization that tonight would be no different unless she forced it to be. She closed the laptop and stood, bracing her hands on the desk. She hung her head and took a deep, steadying breath. When she lifted her head, her eyes held a fierce determination, a determined spark that she hadn’t even realized had gone out. She had fought in the quirk war, had graduated from U.A. 5th in her class, had fought more villains than she could count. She could more than handle being the target of her husband's ire for interrupting his training. The loud-mouthed blond had nothing on her own fraying ability to keep her mouth under control.
With that in mind, she pushed off the desk and made her way into the hall, the door to their room closing behind her. She made her way down the hall, passed the door to the bathroom that she had helped him tile after they moved in. The previous owners had put in an atrocious puke green that Ochako immediately knew had to go. She had chosen a soft cream color while Kats had complained about the lack of his favorite color in their decor. She compromised by agreeing to make the back splash behind the sink such a dark grey upon first inspection it looked black.
She remembered how proud she had felt when they finished, the first of many projects in their new home. She closed her eyes for a moment, recalling the press of his lips to her temple after they’d popped open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. She could almost smell the smoky sweetness of his skin as she had giggled into his neck after a few too many glasses. Ochako shook herself free of the memory as the frustration at her current situation came rushing back.
The next door held their home gym, a custom build that Katsuki had cultivated with the same detail-oriented care he afforded any task he deemed worth his time. He had wanted a large space where both of them could practice their quirks at the same time if needed.
She pressed against the already partially open door, letting it softly hit the wall as she made her way inside. The soft mat beneath her feet muffled her footsteps as she glanced around the large room to locate Katsuki. He stood at the far end of the room, loosing hit after hit, explosion after explosion onto the reinforced practice dummy they had special ordered to withstand his quirk. She began to walk toward him, weaving her way around the many work out machines scattered about the room.
“Kats.” Ochako called softly, not wanting to startle him too badly while he was so focused. He didn’t reply and his movements didn’t falter as he kept up his routine.
She called out to him once more before her caution and consideration gave way to anger.
“KATSUKI!” She yelled his name this time, knowing damn well his hearing wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t hear her scream his name. She went ignored once again. She felt her face heat with barely contained fury at not only being given the cold shoulder but now being openly ignored. She marched the rest of the way to him and pulled at his bicep only to be shrugged off. He gave her a flat look that would have most people running for the hills.
But Ochako was not most people, she was his fucking wife, and she was sick of being treated like a second-class citizen in her own home.
Ochako let her hand fall to her side, her normally calm brown eyes brimming with anger. “What the hell is your problem, Katsuki?”
He scoffed and moved as if to turn away, but she reached out to snag his wrist. Her voice softened, “Talk to me Kats, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Nothing is wrong. Can I finish my work out now or do you have more stupid fucking questions for me to answer?” Katsuki sneered and jerked his hand back to his side and held her gaze for a moment before turning back to the practice dummy.
Ochako felt the tears she’d been holding back for weeks bubble to the surface, she was angry with him, yes. But more than that, she was hurt. She took a wavering breath and tried to quell the feelings that threatened to overwhelm her.
“Kats, Please. I miss you.” She tried to keep her voice even but choked on the last word. His shoulders stiffened as he made to turn but stopped himself.
“Just go, Ochako.” He turned back to the dummy and lined up for another hit. She felt his words like a sucker punch. He hasn’t called her by name since their wedding day, and never, never had he said it with such resignation. Like she wasn't worth the breath it took to turn her away.
“So, we can’t talk but we can fuck about it later, I’m sure.” Her chest ached as the bitter words spilled from her mouth. “I’m not just a warm body you can use and discard, Katsuki. I’m your wife. I’m supposed to matter to you.” Her voice broke as the emotions she’d been trying so hard to control finally escaped her. Her chest heaved as she fought to regain her composure, to stifle the sobs she only let out late at night, in the bathroom so he wouldn’t hear. She had been trying to give him space, to let him come to her when he was ready, but it had been weeks of cold, lonely nights. Weeks of stiff armed, unreciprocated hugs before she’d just stopped trying. Weeks of her husband, her best friend treating her like she was nothing more than a casual fuck that had overstayed her welcome.
Katsuki turned to her, frustration giving way to the sort of confused panic she rarely saw from the war seasoned hero. They had fought together side by side and had healed together after everything that had happened during their years at UA. Regardless of what had been thrown at them, panic had never been a word in his vocabulary. He always had a plan. He has always been so much smarter than his brash attitude led people to believe and when he strategized with Izuku the two were unstoppable. Seeing him look so out of sorts left her feeling even more shaken than she already was.
“Ocha, I- you do matter to me. You’re everything to me.” He roughly ran his hand through sweat soaked, ash blond hair. Stress was evident in every part of him. His tense muscles, the bruise dark bags under tired crimson eyes as he gazed at his feet, unable to meet her eyes. She had never seen him look so tired, so utterly defeated. Katsuki never lost, never even entertained the possibility that he could be anything but the winner in every way. She felt her stomach drop with the realization that whatever was going on was bigger than she thought, this was more than just a hard case or stress from the hero commission hounding him to be more, do more.
Whatever this was, it was bad. “I just don’t know how to talk about it; I don’t want to talk about. If I say it out loud, that means its real.” He finally looked up at her, and the desperation she saw in his eyes had any anger she felt sputtering out like a candle in a monsoon. She surged forward to grapple her husband into a hug, though this time, she was pleased to note, he didn’t push her away.
His composure broke as he held onto her like his life depended on it, harsh cries echoing in the well-lit room. He shook with despair even as he lifted her into his arms to pull her closer. He smelled like caramel, even as his sweat slick skin felt slightly sticky against hers.
She didn’t speak, just wrapped her legs around his waist and stroked her fingers soothingly through her hair. He took a few steps back and felt blindly behind him to find the weight bench nearest to them before collapsing back on it, her now seated squarely across his lap.
He slowly began to calm, his breath still stuttering out with half hearted sobs. Her hands continued their ministrations in his hair before venturing down his neck and across his wide shoulders, lightly rubbing tense muscles in an attempt to relax him. She leaned her head against his and waited, as calm as she could manage though her own tears had yet to fully stop.
Katsuki braced his hands on her hips and took a fortifying breath. He looked skyward as he cleared his throat, clearly trying to pull himself together.
“It’s the hag.” He said gruffly. He used his shoulder to wipe the tear tracks from his face. “Shes got-.” He stopped again as his voice wavered before clearing his throat again, more aggressively this time. She knew how much he hated crying; how weak he felt though she always assured him that she had never once thought of him that way.
His raspy voice was quiet but the pain-stricken look on his face was more than enough to convey the turmoil she knew must be going on in his mind. “She has breast cancer. Terminal” The words took her breath away. The pit in her stomach grew to the size of a canyon as a feeling of disbelief consumed her.
Mitsuki? Terminal cancer? The concept was utterly unfathomable to her. She couldn’t reconcile the idea of such a strong woman being reduced to those two life ruining words. She held his face between her hands and lowered her head to meet his eyes.
“Kats, I am so, so sorry.” Her voice was weak, throat clogged with emotion as she processed what this meant. He had been dealing with this alone, had isolated himself completely in order to come to terms with the fact that his mother was dying. And there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. No villain to fight or any tangible thing he could blame for taking his mom away.
He pulled his face away, death glare already in place even as he sniffed away further tears. “This is exactly why I didn’t say anything. I don’t need your pity.” He spat the word out with a level of disgust usually reserved for pig farms on a hot summer day.
Ochako was momentarily taken aback by his sudden aggression before she doubled down. She squished his cheeks in one hand as she harshly redirected him to face her once again. Determination hardened the usually soft lines of her face.
“It is not pity, Katsuki Bakugou. Its care. I love you and anything that causes you pain hurts me to. Especially something like this. Shes family to me too.” Her voice held such conviction that he was at a loss for words.
How could he have thought that Ochako of all people wouldn’t understand what he was going through? Her own father had passed from liver failure just two years before. She still had days where it took all she had to pull herself out of bed and paste on a smile, all to make sure that Japan didn’t worry about the state of the current hero climate. As if they hadn't already done enough for this country to last a lifetime.
Ochako always understood him, even when he himself couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he was feeling.
“We will get through this together, Kats. You just have to let me in.” She rested her forehead against his and loosely clasped her hands behind his neck. His body relaxed slightly as he thought about what she had said before nodding his head in silent agreement.
His face creased again in confusion before asking, “what the fuck did you mean earlier? About being ‘just a warm body’, baby how could you ever think that’s how I see you?” He sounded genuinely dumbfounded. His eyed held nothing but sincerity, if her earlier anger wasn’t already gone, it would have been now.
She sighed heavily before answering. “You’ve ignored me for weeks. Only sought me out to have sex. God, Katsuki what was I supposed to think?” Her face clearly showed just how tired she was, unable to mask how she felt after hearing such awful news.
He looked shocked, struck dumb at the thought that his actions had been misconstrued so completely.
“Ocha, baby that was not anywhere close to what I was thinking. I couldn’t talk about it yet so I was trying to show you that I still loved you. Christ, I’m a fucking idiot. I didn’t stop to think about how that might have come across.” He wound his arms tight around her waist and pressed his head harder against her own. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I made you feel like you aren’t the most important person on this whole fucking planet to me.”
Any doubts she might have had evaporated. He had been trying to be there for her, albeit in a very stupid way that only a man could have come up with, but he had been trying.
“I won’t say that its fine, because it isn’t. You will most definitely be making it up to me. Preferably in a way that includes mochi.” She leaned back and gave him a small smile, trying to convey her lack of anger. ” But for now, we have far more important things to worry about. Together.”
Ochako kissed his forehead and settled herself against him. She buried her face in his neck, drawing comfort from the one constant in her life amidst so much change and hardship.
“Together.” He agreed, his tone still lacked his usual fiery attitude, but at least he was talking to her. Baby steps were fine with her, as long as he was trying.
As long as they had each other, they could get through anything. They had been through more than people twice their age and come out on top.
They couldn’t fight a disease or circumvent death, but they could weather the storm hand in hand, while they held out hope for sunnier skies.