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For the record, Jiwoong does not consider himself to be old. Age is a sort of thing that he sees as more of a process than a number. It’s evidence of lived experience rather than anything to be ashamed of. Thirty-five is still perfectly young in his mind.
His body has not gotten that particular memo.
Jiwoong always thought his older brother was exaggerating when he said that the aches and pains of life settle into the body earlier than people often think. Now, if he sleeps on a subpar mattress, Jiwoong feels it in every nook and cranny of his bones. It’s as if he’s been turned inside out in his sleep.
The mattress he’s just woken up on is definitely not his, and it’s absolutely not up to his standards. He stretches with a groan and at least three different places pop in a painfully good sort of way. Jiwoong rolls over onto his side.
The other occupant of the bed is already awake and staring at him.
“Good morning, hyung.”
Jiwoong does not drink to the point of losing his memory. He had once in university and he’d woken up with a dry mouth, sharpie on his face, and the most splitting headache he’d ever had. That’s one life experience he has no desire to ever repeat. So he remembers the name of the man he’s woken up beside, and fully remembers how they’d spent the evening both at the bar and this bed.
“Good morning, Hanbin.”
Hanbin’s expression is a lot like the excitement of a dog when its name is said, smile blooming and happy despite the early morning hour and lack of sleep. It doesn’t leave any room for that typical awkwardness that follows a one night stand.
“Do you like coffee? I can brew some if you want a minute to wake up more…?”
The expression on Hanbin’s face can only be described as hopeful, eyes wide and eager and far too awake for this hour. Jiwoong is craving his own shower and bed, if he’s perfectly honest. But he can’t really imagine saying no when Hanbin is looking at him like that. He looks so different from the Hanbin who had stared him down from across a crowded bar the night before; soft and barefaced and presumably still undressed.
“Sure,” Jiwoong agrees, smiling in spite of the way his thoughts are starting to tangle. “That’d be great.”
It’s as if Jiwoong has just told him he’s suddenly inherited a long lost fortune. “Great! Just come out to the kitchen when you’re ready!” He’s up and out the bedroom door in a flurry of motion that leaves Jiwoong feeling a little windswept until it all settles and he’s left alone with his thoughts. Now he can properly process his surroundings.
He hadn’t done much to assess where he’d actually ended up sleeping, a bit too distracted by Hanbin’s incredibly insistent lips and hands. Jiwoong realizes that the likely reason for his aching body is that Hanbin’s mattress is directly on the floor: no box spring, no bedframe. He’d noticed the night before, but Hanbin had been appropriately distracting.
Jiwoong sits up with a groan, wincing a little as he feels the low quality sheets drag over sensitive skin on his back. That’s likely the work of Hanbin’s fingernails from the night before. He can’t really get up and check, though, considering there’s no mirror hanging anywhere in Hanbin’s bedroom. Or anything on the walls at all, actually.
The only detail that had slipped his mind from the night before comes back to Jiwoong as he sits on a mattress on the floor in the most obvious this-is-my-first-apartment bedroom of his life.
He’d gone home with someone twelve years younger than him last night.
“That guy is staring at you,” Hao had shouted to Jiwoong over the music as they waited for the bartender to bring their drinks. “Center of the dance floor.”
Jiwoong didn’t turn to look right away, instead watching the way the bartender kept sneaking glances at Hao.
“Is he, or are you just making that up?”
Hao rotated his bar stool to face Jiwoong then, leveling the other with a remarkably unimpressed stare. “Why would I make that up?”
Jiwoong only grinned, offering the bartender a polite smile when he finally delivered their drinks, not missing that Hao’s seemed to be delivered with a slightly wider smile. Hao didn’t miss it either, judging by the ‘fuck me’ eyes he was responding with as he thanked the bartender.
“To get rid of me so you can finally make a move on this bartender after two months of coming here.”
Hao was shameless, so he didn’t blush. “His name is Matthew and I sucked his dick last weekend, thank you very much.”
Jiwoong immediately started sulking at that. “And you’re only just now telling me? You’re the worst. The actual worst.”
“You’ve been busy and also very chronically single, it’s been a bit alarming,” Hao said with a shrug. “Now will you please turn around and look at the guy whose dick you should be sucking tonight?”
Jiwoong hated to give in, always ready to refuse to do something Hao told him to do simply out of spite, but his curiosity was too strong. He turned then, scanning the dance floor and wondering if maybe the supposed guy had stopped staring. It was incredibly obvious who Hao was referring to.
Because the guy was definitely staring, and as soon as Jiwoong made eye contact with him, he was smiling. Even from a distance, Jiwoong could see the way the guy’s dimples formed high on his cheeks, like whiskers.
“I will pay the tab if you go talk to him right now,” he heard Hao say, but Jiwoong didn’t really need to be bribed.
He was already on his feet to cross the room.
Jiwoong finally ventures out of Hanbin’s bedroom for his promised cup of coffee, wearing the clothes Hanbin had given him to sleep in the night before, his own clothes folded neatly in his hands. He’ll put them back on for his walk of shame after he’s caffeinated.
The rest of the apartment is much like Hanbin’s bedroom: sparse, undecorated, and severely lacking in proper furniture. Jiwoong can’t even tell which area of the space is meant to be what, mostly because there are a lot of boxes everywhere. Hanbin must have recently moved in.
Jiwoong also does not smell any brewing coffee.
Hanbin is staring at the coffee machine as if it’s personally offended him, not noticing Jiwoong’s presence.
“Do you need help?” Jiwoong asks, which makes Hanbin jump. It’s cute, the way his eyes go wide. Jiwoong had noticed how expressive Hanbin is the night before, and he likes it just as much now.
“No, no, well—” Hanbin is flushing, ears bright red. “I worked at my mom’s cafe all through high school. It's just that—well, it turns out I don’t have any coffee grounds.”
Jiwoong, to his credit, does not laugh. He can tell Hanbin is a little genuinely upset about it, so instead he just smiles. “That’s alright. I can just get coffee on the way home and—”
“No!” Hanbin interjects quickly, before his already red cheeks go even redder. “We could have breakfast if you want or—you don’t have to go already. If you don’t want to. Yeah.”
Jiwoong is catching up rather quickly here, understanding that Hanbin is looking for an excuse to spend more time together, and for a brief moment, he feels conflicted. He wouldn’t say that he has any particularly strong morals when it comes to seeing men younger than him. He knows his own intentions and his own heart, and also Hanbin has been twenty-three for the entire twelve or so hours they’ve known each other.
Going beyond a one night stand, however, isn’t something he’s considered before. And right now, Hanbin is looking at him as if his entire day hinges on whether or not Jiwoong has breakfast with him.
“Sure, I’m not in a rush,” Jiwoong finally says, and he can see the way tension melts out of Hanbin’s shoulders. It’s endearing. “Did you want to order something?”
“Oh, probably, I don’t think I have any groceries at the moment.” Hanbin moves to open his fridge, and when Jiwoong tilts his head to peer inside from behind him, it’s so empty that he’s not entirely convinced it’s ever had food in it. “Or, um…” Hanbin continues, letting the fridge door fall shut. “I guess we can go out. I don’t really have a place to sit and eat anyway.”
Jiwoong supposes this is true. There are no stools at the kitchen island, nor is there a sign of a dining room table. There is a rather large box surrounded by a few mismatched throw pillows, however. “Have you been eating at that?”
Hanbin clears his throat. “Sometimes.”
“What was in the box?”
“My dining room table.”
Jiwoong has to take several seconds to process that, and Hanbin must find the silence oppressive because he immediately starts rambling.
“Well, it’s just that I didn’t have any of the tools to build it and it’s my first year at my job and this is my first apartment too, and wow, there’s just a lot you have to buy and I’m so tired at the end of the day that I can’t even imagine finding the time to—”
“Hanbin.”
Hanbin shuts his mouth. Jiwoong continues. “Do you have any plans today?”
Hanbin looks delighted to be asked. “No, I don’t.”
Jiwoong gives a decisive little nod. “Okay. So. We’re going to get food and coffee. Then we’re going shopping for furniture and decorations. Then we’re going to buy you literally any amount of vegetables as long as it’s more than zero. Your fridge looks like you were robbed in the middle of the night.”
Hanbin’s brows furrow a little. “Why would they only steal from my fridge?”
“It’s not like there’s any furniture to steal,” Jiwoong counters.
Hanbin clears his throat. “Okay. Fair enough. Are we doing everything in that order?”
“Yes, step-by-step.” Jiwoong hadn’t woken up this morning with the intention of trying to set the younger guy he’d gone home with up for any level of functionality, but leaving Hanbin’s apartment in this state feels like it has to be illegal somewhere. Like, he has to intervene.
“Okay,” Hanbin agrees brightly, even if Jiwoong can see he’s a little apprehensive.
Jiwoong can empathize, unable to release the tension in his own body as they set off to get Hanbin’s life in order. This is already well beyond what was meant to be one night.
Jiwoong kind of hated when Hao was right about things, not because his best friend ever led him astray, but mostly because he’d hear about it nonstop for at least a month afterwards. The anticipated sting of Hao bragging gleefully was soothed as he approached the guy in question, features coming into sharper clarity without the distance and mass of human bodies between them.
Jiwoong could tell instantly that he was young; perhaps not so young that he would feel like a weirdo for finding him so attractive, but definitely younger. Jiwoong was never opposed to that for a one night sort of thing as long as this guy was legal to drink in every country. And he’d started it anyway; if Hao hadn’t pointed out the staring, Jiwoong likely wouldn’t have ever noticed.
“Hi,” the guy said to him when Jiwoong was close enough to hear him over the sound of the music. Jiwoong noticed the tattoo on his chest now, a pretty, delicate sort of thing that directly contrasted the way he was looking at Jiwoong with both a warmth and a hunger. “I’m Hanbin.”
“Hi, Hanbin. I’m Jiwoong.”
Truthfully, Jiwoong didn’t actually do this often. It was his instinct to bow or shake hands as if he was in a board room meeting like any other day. Hanbin was absolutely the one in the driver’s seat here but judging by those wide, eager eyes, Jiwoong wasn’t entirely sure he realized that.
“Do you want to dance with me?”
Jiwoong wasn’t anywhere near drunk. He had three cheap cocktails in his system but Matthew was a shitty pour and the drinks were always weak; they only came here so Hao could flirt, apparently successfully. And while Hao didn’t seem to have any reservations about the age gap between himself and the much younger bartender, Jiwoong wasn’t sure he could push aside his own hesitance so easily.
All that to say, his inhibitions were firmly where they always were and his wariness must have been obvious because he could see the way Hanbin visibly deflated. Jiwoong instantly felt bad about it, feeling a bit like he was looking at a sad puppy. He’d been looking at Hanbin’s face for maybe two minutes total and it was already so easy to read the other’s face, he was so expressive. Hanbin was young and it was up to Jiwoong not to give in so easily but, well—
“I do want to dance with you,” Jiwoong answered truthfully, even if maybe he shouldn’t.
The way Hanbin’s face lit up made it hard to regret the decision.
A hand found his, soft skin and firm grip, tugging him into the mass of bodies, and Jiwoong allowed it.
Jiwoong drives, the intention being to drop Hanbin off at home once he’s helped the younger make even the slightest bit of order out of his life. He picks a place with a drive through for coffee and breakfast, letting Hanbin feed him bites of a breakfast sandwich as they discuss a game plan.
“Not to pry or anything, but what sort of budget do you have?”
Hanbin considers that, taking a sip of his coffee. When Jiwoong glances at him at red lights, he finds Hanbin is often already looking at him, looking a bit bemused at the turn of events their previous evening had taken. Jiwoong himself can’t really believe he’s decided this will be how he spends the rest of the weekend.
“I mean, I’m comfortable. Like I have a job, if that’s what you were wondering.”
Jiwoong laughs at that. “I wasn’t, actually. You already told me that and even if you hadn’t, your apartment is very obviously one you just got because you have a new job.”
Hanbin’s eyes go wide at that, lips parting in surprise. He’s so expressive that Jiwoong has to force himself to focus on the road or he’ll get distracted by the way this pretty boy wears all his thoughts on his face like a second skin.
“It’s that obvious?”
“I had my first apartment once, I know what it looks like.”
Hanbin smirks at that. “And how many years ago was that, hyung?”
Jiwoong does not dignify that with a response. “Can you answer my question?” He pauses, taking a bite of the sandwich that Hanbin has suddenly offered to him again. Hanbin seems very concerned that Jiwoong gets to eat, which he supposes is cute. “It’s going to help me decide which home goods store I drive us to.”
Hanbin leans back in his seat, looking a little chastised, which is cute. “I haven’t spent any of the money my family gave me as a housewarming gift yet. Well, I bought the table, I just haven’t put it together yet.” There’s a palpable shift in Hanbin’s demeanor, Jiwoong able to see the way he starts picking at his nails, tension forming in his shoulders. “I bought that and then everything just felt overwhelming so I stopped worrying about it.”
Jiwoong considers that. “Or do you spend all your time worrying about it?”
Hanbin lets out a little huff, like he’s been caught. “I dread leaving work because I don’t know how to fix it.”
Underneath the lightness of their conversation, Jiwoong can feel a real anxiety brewing inside of Hanbin. There’s a misconception that he encounters a lot when he spends his time with younger men, the idea that getting older means everything is put together and there’s no mystery left to life. He thinks that if he had his first apartment now, at thirty-five, he’d feel just as overwhelmed. It’s just that he has more life experience to tackle it head on.
“So first big job, and first apartment.” Jiwoong navigates them into the parking lot of his chosen store, a nice midtier budget catch-all so Hanbin can get furniture and the things he’ll need to build it all at once. When the car finally comes to a stop, he can look over at Hanbin fully. “What do you do for work?”
“I’m a kindergarten teacher.”
Jiwoong feels something fond build in his chest at that. While it’s perhaps not what he was expecting from someone who’d picked him out of a crowd at a club and taken him home without exchanging much information beyond their names and ages, it fits the Hanbin that’s slowly taking shape the more time Jiwoong spends with him.
“Is that tiring?”
“Some nights I go to bed at seven PM.”
Jiwoong laughs as he gets out of the car, crossing to the passenger side to meet Hanbin. Hanbin is smiling but it’s obvious he’s still anxious, perhaps even embarrassed. Jiwoong softens.
“Look, Hanbin—”
“I don’t want you to think I’m just… some young kid who doesn’t know how to take care of himself,” Hanbin says suddenly, the words coming out rushed as if he wants Jiwoong to hear it as soon as possible. “It’s just that everything is so new and it’s a lot of changes at once and there’s so much to take care of that I don’t even know where to start so then I just don’t do any of it at all and—”
Jiwoong isn’t sure what makes him do it. He’s not even sure it’s a good idea. But regardless, he leans in and kisses Hanbin to get him to stop rambling.
Hanbin’s reaction is adorable, and that’s without the luxury of seeing him because Jiwoong has closed his eyes. He lets out this little squeak and actually jumps as if startled. Then he melts into it immediately, returning Jiwoong’s kiss with the eagerness of someone who thinks he might change his mind. Jiwoong can taste Hanbin’s relief as if it’s candy.
When he pulls away, Hanbin doesn’t open his eyes right away, lips almost lingering in a puckered position as if his brain is a few seconds behind. Maybe it is. When he finally does open his eyes, Jiwoong is grinning at him.
“It’s fine, Hanbin. Stop worrying so much. Let me help you.”
Hanbin does not look like he’s stopped worrying at all. “You kissed me.”
“Yes. We also had sex last night. In case you forgot.”
Hanbin narrows his eyes. “Are you doing all this just so that I stop worrying?”
It’s a fair enough question, and Jiwoong considers it for a moment. They’re still standing close and he makes no real move to put distance between them. It’s not like he really knows anything about Hanbin. He knows they have good physical chemistry, considering they’d lasted on the dance floor together all of twenty minutes before the heat between them was too much to bear and Hanbin was dragging him home.
Jiwoong doesn’t actually have a definitive answer. The urge to kiss Hanbin to pull him out of his own head had come over him, and so he’d done it. He doesn’t really have a chip on his shoulder about dating or the process of getting to know someone but rather he feels a bit like a neglected garden, overrun with weeds and not maintained from lack of attention. It’s been so long since he’s entertained someone beyond one night in bed together that he’s not sure if this is how it’s supposed to feel: the burning curiosity to learn more with so little to go on so far and the desire to at least make part of Hanbin’s life a little easier.
He’s overcomplicating this, Jiwoong realizes as quickly as he started thinking about it in the first place. He feels a bit like a teenager with a crush only he’s definitely the one at the wheel here. Hanbin is looking at him as if Jiwoong can personally fix his entire life.
Jiwoong doesn’t think there’s anything to fix, but a little guidance won’t hurt.
“I kissed you so you’d stop spiraling, and because I wanted to. Is that okay?”
Hanbin considers that, then nods, visibly relaxing. “Yes. That’s okay.” He pauses, ears going a little red. “As long as you wanted to.”
Jiwoong can’t help but smile. Hanbin had cared more that Jiwoong actually wanted to kiss him over anything else. It’s endearing.
“I wanted to. Now I want you to start sleeping on a proper bed and not a mattress on your floor. Come on.”
Jiwoong leads the way into the store and while he can’t see Hanbin from where he moves to catch up to him, he can feel the warmth of his gaze the entire time.
Hanbin didn’t seem to be curious about Jiwoong’s age until he was unceremoniously shoving Jiwoong against the door of his apartment. He crashed their lips together in a way that actually made Jiwoong laugh in surprise.
“How old are you?” Hanbin asked breathlessly before he was immediately kissing Jiwoong again, which didn’t exactly give him the time to answer. He could vaguely hear Hanbin attempting to enter his door code, and clearly getting it wrong with the buzzer sound that came from the keypad.
Hanbin did not stop kissing him, and Jiwoong wasn’t complaining. He didn’t long for his more awkward, younger years, but there was a sort of shine to making out with someone against their front door because they were too eager to get inside.
Or, judging by the keypad buzzing again, too eager to enter their door code correctly.
Hanbin cursed against Jiwoong’s lips and Jiwoong laughed again.
“I’m thirty-five. Do you know your door code? Please don’t lock us out.”
Hanbin finally pulled away then, just enough so he could look at Jiwoong. He seemed to be studying Jiwoong carefully, as if searching for evidence of his thirty-five lived years on his face. Whatever proof he found there, Hanbin looked satisfied with that answer, if not downright pleased, and then he was leaning in to kiss Jiwoong again.
Jiwoong laughed, the sound making Hanbin smile against his lips. His hands were firm on Hanbin’s hips, holding him close despite his half-hearted protests. “Hanbin, get the door open.”
“I’m twenty-three.”
Jiwoong wasn’t sure if he was meant to care, not that it was possible with Hanbin licking at his bottom lip impatiently now. He could literally feel that Hanbin was aroused right there in the hallway and Jiwoong needed to be the voice of reason, apparently. With his grip on Hanbin’s hips, he forced some distance between the two of them.
“That’s great. I’m glad we shared that. Now please get the door open.”
Hanbin was glaring at him with no real heat to it out of lust blown pupils, lips shiny with spit and swollen from kissing. Jiwoong had to try not to laugh again.
It worked at least, getting Hanbin to slow down enough to finally enter his door code correctly and get the both of them inside.
Jiwoong didn’t attempt to stop Hanbin’s insistent hands and lips after that.
They didn’t bother with any lights, Hanbin pulling Jiwoong to his bedroom clumsily with just the city lights pouring through the curtainless windows to guide the way. Jiwoong didn’t pay too much attention to his surroundings, not when Hanbin refused to stop kissing him for more than ten seconds at a time. He at least vaguely registered that the mattress they fell onto was just that: a mattress.
Hanbin was attractive enough to ignore that.
“Hanbin,” Jiwoong managed to get out when even Hanbin had to stop to breathe. He was breathing heavily, straddling Jiwoong’s hips. He almost looked annoyed to be interrupted, which was really cute.
“What?”
“Slow down.”
Hanbin blinked at him in surprise, and Jiwoong suspected he was likely used to quicker hookups with guys his age in cramped university housing and no freedom to take his time or be loud. Jiwoong was well past that stage of his life and preferred to savor another body, especially a body like Hanbin’s.
“Okay,” Hanbin answered simply, and this time when he leaned down to kiss Jiwoong, he let the elder take the wheel. Jiwoong guided the kiss so that it was something deeper and slower, licking into Hanbin’s mouth in a way that savored the taste as opposed to rushing them forward.
It was effective, judging by the way Hanbin squirmed on top of him, the outline of his cock faint through the thick fabric of his jeans against Jiwoong’s thigh.
“That’s good,” Jiwoong murmured, leisurely sucking Hanbin’s bottom lip into his mouth. He could feel the way Hanbin shuddered at the praise. “Just enjoy it.”
Hanbin lost his patience again, breaking the kiss without any real warning so he could sit up and take off his shirt without any fanfare to it. The bedroom was lit enough by the city lights outside that Jiwoong could appreciate the sight of Hanbin’s body. He was all lean muscle and sharp lines with that pretty tattoo right on his collarbones.
Jiwoong wanted to taste him.
With firm hands on Hanbin’s hips, Jiwoong lifted the younger man off him, grinning a little at the small sound of surprise that came past Hanbin’s lips. He settled Hanbin onto his back and was met with the look of someone who was a bit surprised at the turn the night had taken.
“You’re very pretty, Hanbin,” Jiwoong told him as he did away with his own shirt almost as an afterthought. Hanbin was clearly appreciative, however, gaze heated as his eyes trailed over Jiwoong’s body. “What do you like?”
Hanbin still hadn’t torn his gaze from Jiwoong’s torso. “All of it.”
Jiwoong laughed, sure fingers working at the button of Hanbin’s pants which seemed to snap him back to reality a little. “I meant in bed.”
“I’m realizing that,” Hanbin said, flushed. Even as he thought about it, he was lifting his hips to help Jiwoong pull his pants down and off. “You too, hyung.”
Jiwoong obliged, appreciating the hunger in Hanbin’s gaze as he stripped himself down as well. Admittedly, Hanbin looked a little overwhelmed, like he’d manifested Jiwoong to approach him at the bar but hadn’t put much thought into what he would do if his seduction was successful.
And Jiwoong was a man of few firm preferences. He was flexible and liked what his partner liked as long as everyone was comfortable and positions didn’t matter to him in the slightest. But from his point of view then, perched between the spread legs of a pretty boy with wide, pleading eyes, he had the strong urge to make Hanbin slow down and enjoy himself.
“Where are you sensitive?” Jiwoong asked almost conversationally, even as he immediately started to let his hands wander. He got his answer fairly quickly when sure fingers intentionally brushed over both of Hanbin’s nipples and the younger man gasped, arching up off the mattress. “There?”
“Yes, there,” Hanbin breathed out with an almost frustrated laugh. “When you said slow down, how slow were you talking exactly?” Hanbin spoke with obvious effort, Jiwoong’s fingers circling his nipples clearly making it hard to speak.
“Glacial,” Jiwoong quipped, bursting into laughter at the horrified look on Hanbin’s face. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Just tell me what you want.”
Hanbin didn’t answer verbally, instead getting his legs around Jiwoong’s back to make him lose his balance and fall forward. With next to no fabric between them, the heat between their bodies felt even more intense, and Jiwoong found himself losing focus on teasing. He didn’t really know anything about this boy other than his age and that he wore his emotions on his face like a brand, and Jiwoong wanted him. Badly.
“Okay, message received,” Jiwoong said, and that time when he brought their lips together, it was with intent, the drive to push them forward. He didn’t try to make Hanbin slow down as the younger got his hands on the swell of Jiwoong’s ass to grind their hips together. It pulled a moan out of both of them. Jiwoong did it again, the sound of his own pleasure muffled into the mark he’d just sucked into the skin of Hanbin’s neck. Hanbin moved his hands to drag his nails down Jiwoong’s back, making the older squirm.
“Off,” Hanbin demanded, fingers under the waistband of Jiwoong’s briefs. Jiwoong was happy to oblige, but there was one problem.
“You have to let go of me if you want me naked,” Jiwoong pointed out, giving Hanbin’s thigh a tap from where it still caged him in.
“Are you going to tease me again?” Hanbin asked, eyes narrowed.
“Do you want my dick inside you or not?”
Hanbin laughed then, and it was interesting how Jiwoong could see the way any tension he’d been holding onto visibly left his face, like he still thought Jiwoong might change his mind and leave or that Jiwoong was teasing him cruelly.
As Jiwoong got them both fully undressed and he could take in Hanbin completely, flushed all over with his cock hard and wet from precum, he was absolutely not going to leave and any teasing he did was just to make Hanbin squirm.
“Pretty,” Jiwoong observed as he got a hand around Hanbin’s cock, who jerked at the touch. “And sensitive.” Hanbin laughed at that, but the sound cut off fairly quickly as Jiwoong pumped him at an agonizingly slow pace, breaking off into a pleased gasp instead.
“Do you think you have to teach me how to have sex, hyung?”
“Not at all, considering how boldly you brought me home.” Hanbin flushed at that, reaching over the edge of the mattress to feel around for something until he was passing Jiwoong a bottle of lube and a condom. “I just see no reason to rush.”
Which was a bit of a direct contradiction to his actions because with Hanbin bare and waiting in front of him, Jiwoong felt his own impatience kicking in as he uncapped the lube and warmed it between his fingers. He could see that anticipation come back to Hanbin’s features but this time it was eagerness rather than being in a hurry. He imagined that was the etiquette Hanbin was used to for one night stands, but Jiwoong had higher standards than that.
“Wait,” Hanbin said suddenly when Jiwoong had a finger poised at his entrance, and Jiwoong stopped. Hanbin pulled away to maneuver himself from his back to his front, pushing up onto his knees. Jiwoong could see from the light through the blinds that Hanbin’s face was crimson. “I like it like this.”
Jiwoong soothed a hand over Hanbin’s back, delighting in the way it sent a shiver down the other’s spine. “Don’t be embarrassed. I asked because I wanted to know.”
Hanbin didn’t respond. Whether it was because he simply had nothing to say or because he couldn’t say anything as Jiwoong finally started to press a finger inside of him, he would never know. Hanbin’s body was as expressive as his face, the arch of his back tensing with the intrusion, then relaxing as he welcomed it.
Jiwoong gave him a few moments to adjust, which didn’t take long judging by the way Hanbin almost immediately pushed his hips back to fuck himself onto Jiwoong’s finger, a sight that had Jiwoong’s already aching cock leaking even more.
“Shit, you’re gorgeous,” Jiwoong got out as he took over, starting to move his finger without any teasing. Hanbin was still red in the face, at least the half he could see, the other half pressed into the pillow. “You like it when it still burns a little?”
Hanbin nodded, jaw a bit slack as Jiwoong worked his finger in and out of him, intentionally avoiding the spot where he knew Hanbin wanted him.
“I like not having to think about it.”
Jiwoong didn’t have the time to unpack that at the moment, rather tucking it away to revisit later.
Hanbin seemed to really lose himself in the pleasure as Jiwoong added a second finger, stretching and working him open with experience that, at the risk of aging himself, Jiwoong sort of doubted a lot of Hanbin’s partners had. Unless the younger man intentionally sought out men who were older. The curiosity of the sudden thought burned almost as much as the heat of Hanbin around his fingers.
“Do you seek this out often?” Jiwoong asked, draping his front over Hanbin’s back, who groaned at the skin-to-skin contact while Jiwoong continued to fuck him open with his fingers. “Older men?”
Jiwoong didn’t actually give him a chance to answer, instead finally curling fingers to press against exactly what he knew Hanbin wanted. Hanbin cried out in pleasure, and Jiwoong could feel the way he practically trembled.
“Oh my—fuck, I—” Hanbin stuttered out, cutting off again when Jiwoong focused on his prostate with every thrust of his fingers now, unrelenting.
“Is that a yes or a no?” Jiwoong pressed further, simply massaging the bundle of nerves now, working Hanbin to the point of tears. His breathing was labored, gripping onto the sheets so hard as if worried he’d float away.
“No, no, I—Jiwoong, please,” Hanbin panted out, and Jiwoong relented a little, going back to simply scissoring his fingers to prep Hanbin. “I—I just saw you. And wanted you. But I like that you’re older.”
Jiwoong was impressed by the coherency, as well as beyond flattered that Hanbin didn’t have a type, but rather just a pure interest in him.
“Do you feel ready?” Jiwoong asked, slowly pulling his fingers out.
“Yes,” Hanbin answered immediately, eager and wrecked and peering at Jiwoong from over his shoulder with shining eyes. “Yes, yes, please, just—”
“I will,” Jiwoong interrupted, already reaching for the condom to roll it onto his own aching cock. “You don’t have to beg.” Jiwoong was actually willing to beg himself, if needed.
There was a buzzing anticipation between both of them as Jiwoong repositioned himself properly behind Hanbin, lining up his cock at the younger’s entrance. He could see the way Hanbin tensed just for a moment before relaxing, as if comforted by the promise that Jiwoong would fuck him. It made Jiwoong feel a bit dizzy.
The first press inside had both of them groaning, Jiwoong bottoming out with one slow but steady stroke, the heat of their skin flush causing a light sheen of sweat to shimmer on their skin. Jiwoong wouldn’t say it had been a long time since he slept with someone, but it was long enough that the tight heat around his cock made his head spin.
Jiwoong fully intended to give Hanbin time to adjust, but Hanbin wasn’t having any of it, instead fucking himself back onto Jiwoong’s cock just once. It seemed to punch the air out of him and Jiwoong watched in fascination at the way he gasped, briefly pressing his face into the pillow to compose himself. When he looked back at Jiwoong again, the look on his face was nothing short of divine.
“Come on hyung, fuck me.”
Hanbin may have been a little crazy. Jiwoong was kind of into that.
Jiwoong got his hands on Hanbin’s hips and pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in, both of them gasping at the sensation. He set a steady pace immediately, what Hanbin clearly wanted, keeping the younger held in place as he fucked into him.
Jiwoong now knew approximately three things about Hanbin: he didn’t have a bedframe, he was twenty-three years old, and he took cock as if it singlehandedly fucked the tension out of him.
He was like putty in Jiwoong’s hands as Jiwoong fucked him without reprieve, all pretty moans and white knuckles gripping onto the sheets. Hanbin’s jaw was slack with pleasure as almost every thrust had Jiwoong’s cock pressing into his prostate. Jiwoong stopped completely at one point just to circle his hips, grinding against that spot that had Hanbin practically in tears.
“Hyung, I—fuck, god, I—”
Whatever Hanbin was trying to say seemed beyond the speech he was capable of, not that Jiwoong was faring any better. It took him a great amount of effort to ask, “What do you need, Hanbin?”
Hanbin didn’t seem able to answer, and in his defense, that was Jiwoong’s fault because he made no effort to stop the way he fucked into the younger. Each drag of Hanbin’s tight, hot walls against his cock pushed Jiwoong closer and closer to release.
Hanbin found his words and finally managed to choke out, “Touch me.”
So Jiwoong did just that, reaching one hand around to take Hanbin’s cock into his hand. “You’re so wet,” Jiwoong said, almost in wonder, amazed at how Hanbin’s cock leaked and how hot and heavy it was in his hand. He stroked Hanbin in time with each thrust. “Fuck, you’re a dream, Hanbin.”
Jiwoong could feel the way the praise made Hanbin clench around his cock, visibly stealing the breath out of the younger man. He filed that away in his brain for later because he was already subconsciously deciding he needed this man again eventually.
“You look gorgeous when you’re getting fucked,” Jiwoong panted out and Hanbin moaned in response, seeming to have trouble even holding himself upright at that point. “I bet you’d look just as good fucking me.”
That seemed to unravel something in Hanbin, the words plus Jiwoong’s hand around his cock and Jiwoong’s cock deep inside of him making him come suddenly with a cry of pleasure. It was a stunning sight and Jiwoong had to use every bit of concentration he had to fuck Hanbin through it while he took in the glory of Hanbin’s teary eyes as he whimpered through his orgasm.
“Fuck, Jesus, Hanbin, I’m gonna—” Jiwoong cut off because he didn’t need to tell Hanbin how close he was when he was suddenly coming himself, filling the condom and Hanbin as he stilled his cock deep inside of the younger as their pleasures peaked.
They were both still for a long moment, though Jiwoong carefully removed his hand from Hanbin’s cock. “Sorry,” he whispered when Hanbin whimpered from oversensitivity. “I’m going to pull out.”
Hanbin whimpered one last time as Jiwoong did, before rolling onto his back with what seemed to be a great amount of effort. Jiwoong leaned back onto his heels, running a soothing hand over Hanbin’s thighs, feeling the way the muscles twitched under the touch.
“You okay?” he asked, though it was a silly question because Hanbin looked like he was floating.
“Never better,” Hanbin answered, the first coherent words he’d managed in several minutes. Jiwoong smiled at that.
“I’ll clean us up. Where…?”
“Bathroom.” Hanbin pointed to the door that led to the master bathroom. “There are a bunch of rags on a shelf in there.”
Jiwoong felt a bit unsteady on his feet which made him realize how long it had been since he’d last had sex that good. So while he was usually an attentive lover anyway, especially when he topped, he found himself fetching wet and dry cloths to clean the both of them up with a bit of extra reverence. As if to show appreciation for Hanbin.
Hanbin kept his eyes on Jiwoong the entire time the older wiped him clean of cum and lube, and Jiwoong couldn’t help but smile under the gaze.
“What are you staring at?”
Hanbin ignored his question, considering the answer was obvious. “Will you stay the night?”
Jiwoong paused from where he’d been about to throw the rags into Hanbin’s laundry basket. He was both surprised and not at all surprised to be asked. Hanbin was looking at him in a way that didn’t make him feel pressured, but Jiwoong still couldn’t bring himself to say no. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to say no. He just also wasn’t sure if it was the right decision to stay.
And yet.
“Sure. I’ll stay. It’s late, anyway.”
Hanbin accepted that with a smile, one that was sleepy and glowing from post orgasm bliss. He scooted aside to make room for Jiwoong, who slid under the blankets with just a little bit of hesitation.
Jiwoong wasn’t sure what to do next. He wasn’t sure if they should cuddle or if Hanbin was just too sex drunk to consider if he even wanted Jiwoong to stay in his bed in the first place. After feeling so certain since they’d arrived at Hanbin’s apartment, Jiwoong felt strange not knowing what he should be doing.
Hanbin decided for him, leaving space between their bodies as he settled in. His eyes were heavy and he moved his hand to rest on the pillows next to where Jiwoong’s was. He didn’t take Jiwoong’s hand, but their pinkies touched, and Hanbin seemed content with that.
Jiwoong’s heart was racing, far more than it had when he’d literally been inside Hanbin just twenty minutes ago.
“Goodnight, Jiwoong,” Hanbin said, eyes already closed.
“Goodnight, Hanbin,” Jiwoong responded, feeling wide awake.
Now, Jiwoong leads Hanbin through the home goods store as Hanbin double checks a list on his phone of the essentials that he still needs.
“Let me see,” Jiwoong says, holding out his hand.
“Are you going to double check my work?” Hanbin teases. “I’m the teacher here.”
“You also sleep on a mattress on the floor. Give it to me.”
Hanbin doesn’t argue further, passing his phone over so Jiwoong can take a look at it. It looks good for the most part, but Jiwoong frowns anyway.
“What? What did I forget?”
Jiwoong hands the phone back. “Decorations. Art for your walls, posters, fake plants. Anything.”
Hanbin looks down at his list, blinking at it as if it’s betrayed him. “That didn’t feel important.”
“Of course it’s important. Your space should feel like yours, not just be something functional.”
“Well, right now it’s barely functional,” Hanbin retorts, and he sounds a little hysterical, like the task at hand is overwhelming. Jiwoong imagines it feels that way. He maneuvers their cart out of the way so he can pull Hanbin aside, getting firm hands on Hanbin’s shoulders.
“You don’t have to do it all today, Hanbin. But you shouldn’t keep pushing it aside either. This is for you. Shouldn’t that matter?”
Hanbin meets his gaze and Jiwoong feels a crushing sort of fondness at the look in those pretty, wide eyes. He’s definitely going to end up having a real crush on this guy far too young for him and he’d felt bad about it approximately twelve hours ago. He’s having a hard time feeling bad about it right now.
“I just don’t understand how anyone has the time. I have so much to do, every single night.”
Jiwoong frowns, dropping his hands from Hanbin’s shoulders. “How? Doesn’t your work day end at a fairly reasonable hour?”
“Well…,” Hanbin starts before trailing off. He finally averts his gaze then, as if embarrassed. “I still help my mom out at her cafe. And I try to make it to every single one of my sister’s sporting events but she has so many. And then I go see my family every weekend so—”
“Oh,” Jiwoong interrupts, mostly because he understands suddenly. “You’re spreading yourself too thin.”
Hanbin meets his gaze again, brow furrowed. “They’re my family.”
“Of course. And now you’re an adult with a full time job and I highly doubt any of them are expecting you to sacrifice every bit of free time for them.”
Jiwoong is speaking from experience. He’d had a terrible balance between his personal and work life when he first started off, so determined to make sure he climbed the ranks that he ended up getting passed over because he was too exhausted to show any of his personality. Now he takes on what he can manage and and passes off what he can’t, and in the years since, his life has felt far more balanced.
Hanbin seems to be considering his words seriously. “I suppose it would be okay to take less shifts at the cafe. And my sister would probably understand if I can only make it to her weekend events.”
“Is that a hard decision for you?”
“I kind of feel like throwing up.”
Jiwoong laughs, fond. “Just think about it. But today, while you have no obligations, let’s get the things you need to feel comfortable in your home.”
Hanbin starts off tentatively as he takes the lead up and down the aisles of the store. He hesitates before making choices, looking to Jiwoong for guidance, who always just shrugs at him.
“It’s your apartment, Hanbin. It only matters if you like it,” he insists every time.
Hanbin huffs out an exasperated laugh after the third time Jiwoong says this. “Well, what if I also want you to like it when I invite you over again?” Jiwoong’s lips part in surprise and Hanbin mirrors the expression, as if surprised by his own words. “Sorry, I just—I only meant—”
“No, it’s okay,” Jiwoong says, something he sort of decides on the spot. His own moral crisis over Hanbin’s age has been fluctuating all day but having confirmation from Hanbin in a way that’s so casual makes it all melt away. Hanbin wants to see him again and Jiwoong has lost all desire to put up a fight about it. “It’s okay if you meant it.”
Jiwoong doesn’t want to take it back. Even if he did, the way Hanbin’s face lights up would change his mind on that. He’s not sure what he’s done to have earned the admiration from Hanbin so quickly, but he’s never been the type to let such an opportunity pass him by either.
“I did mean it,” Hanbin says, bolder this time. There’s a look in his eye that makes Jiwoong think Hanbin might jump him right here in the candle aisle.
“Okay. I’m glad. Focus please. We still have to get you groceries.”
Hanbin seems to relax a lot after that, making decisions about his furniture with confidence, even when he asks Jiwoong for a second opinion.
“Your mattress is fine, you just need a box spring and a good bedframe,” Jiwoong scolds him, having to pull Hanbin up off a mattress he’d been testing out. To Hanbin’s credit, he only pouts a little.
Together they blow through Hanbin’s furniture budget, picking a couch, desk, and chairs all to match his newly selected bedframe and still unassembled dining room table. Hanbin even picks out a few pieces of wall decor, all of which get a nod of approval from Jiwoong. Hanbin looks in much better spirits, like the weight of his own to-do list had been physically compressing him.
“Do we have to build all of this?” Hanbin asks as they’re checking out, eyes going wide at the thought.
“We can build your table but if you want to splurge, we can spend the money to have people come assemble it all for you,” Jiwoong responds, passing Hanbin the receipt. Hanbin looks dissatisfied with all of those options. “What did you have in mind instead?”
Hanbin clears his throat. “Um. Maybe spacing out building it all so you can come over and help me with everything.”
It goes over Jiwoong’s head for a moment, why Hanbin would want his help specifically over trained professionals who can probably have his entire apartment assembled in one day. When it properly dawns on him, he smiles.
“Are you looking for an excuse to hang out again?”
Hanbin looks like he wants to deny it, then changes his mind. “Yes.”
Jiwoong considers that, pointedly guiding them past the customer service desk where they’d request builders to come assemble Hanbin’s furniture. Hanbin jogs after him, as if surprised by the choice.
“You know, Hanbin, since you’re apparently extremely into older guys—”
“I am not!” Hanbin protests. “I said it was just you!”
“There’s something you should know,” Jiwoong continues as if Hanbin hadn’t said anything.
They come to a stop at Jiwoong’s car, Hanbin staring at him with raised eyebrows. “What’s that?”
Jiwoong had mostly been kidding, but he does want Hanbin to understand where he stands and what he’s looking for at his current stage in life. “I don’t want to mince words. Just tell me what you want, without any excuses or facades.”
Hanbin considers that, and Jiwoong thinks he looks a bit relieved. As if that’s what he also wants but he’s not used to being able to say so. He nods then, a finality to the gesture.
“I want to keep getting to know you. And I’d like to have dinner with you. And also we should build my bed first and then I can fuck you on it.”
Jiwoong grins, amused. “Is that the order you’d like to go in?”
“We could skip to the bed building part,” Hanbin suggests casually, though his ears are burning as he says it. Jiwoong opens the passenger side door for him but Hanbin pauses before climbing into the car. “I know you said we were going grocery shopping but we could always just have those delivered.”
Jiwoong studies him, as if he’s underestimated Hanbin. Perhaps he has. “You’re a bit insatiable, I think.”
“Definitely.”
Jiwoong has learned fairly quickly in the last eighteen or so hours that his willpower isn’t anywhere near as strong as he’d thought. Hanbin isn’t even pouting at him and he already wants to cave.
“Alright. We’ll order your groceries for delivery and build your bed.”
Hanbin blinks at him expectantly. “And also have sex, right?”
Jiwoong grins, leaning in to brush his nose against Hanbin’s. “Yes, also have sex.”
Hanbin doesn’t let him pull away, instead looping his arms around Jiwoong’s neck to keep him close and bring their lips together. It’s a soft kiss, different from any others they’ve shared since they met, but still sprinkled with the eagerness that Jiwoong is quickly coming to associate with Hanbin. The younger is both shy and completely sure of what he wants at all times and Jiwoong finds himself wanting to continue to experience it.
Hanbin pulls away first. “We could also just have sex on the mattress again.”
“Absolutely not. My back is killing me.”
“Fine, old man.”
They do actually assemble the bed even if an electric sort of energy is pulsing off Hanbin the entire time. Jiwoong has to admire his self control, and then he decides maybe said self control should be pushed even further.
Jiwoong makes Hanbin be patient all the way through the groceries being delivered, cooking a meal, and eating it. Hanbin is competent in the kitchen, he just hasn’t had time to cook with how much he’s been trying to do in his evenings.
“You’ll have even more money to spend on furniture if you eat take-out less,” Jiwoong tells him, and then he laughs when Hanbin rolls his eyes.
While Jiwoong had been teasing earlier when he called Hanbin insatiable, he finds it a bit addicting. Hanbin is insistent in the way he makes Jiwoong make good on his assurance they can test out the new bedframe but also seems to savor being guided. Jiwoong instructs Hanbin through every step of the way of working him open, of pressing his cock inside of him, of the way Jiwoong likes it when he’s fucked.
Afterwards, it’s much like the night before, Hanbin boneless and spent beside him and looking like someone has taken the weight of the world off his shoulders.
“Don’t ask me to stay again,” Jiwoong says to him after a long bout of silence, Hanbin on his stomach and blinking at him sleepily with only one eye, the other closed from where it’s pressed into the pillow.
“Who said I was going to?” Hanbin challenges without any heat.
“Your expression,” Jiwoong retorts as he gets out of the nice, new bed with its nice, new sheets and this nice, new presence in his life. “We both have work in the morning and I have no clothes.”
“Fine,” Hanbin sighs, rolling onto his back, and Jiwoong takes a moment to appreciate the view. He can also sense the question before it comes but he doesn’t cut it off because he thinks it makes Hanbin feel good to ask. “We’ll see each other again, right?”
“I already told you we would.”
“Humor me.”
Jiwoong is finally putting his clothes back on from the night before, and he pauses from where he’d been buttoning his shirt. When he looks up at Hanbin, he’s met with a gaze full of sincerity and what Jiwoong recognizes as an insecurity that he thinks the younger is quite adept at hiding from everyone around him.
“Yes. We will see each other again.”
Hanbin seems pleased with that, face relaxing as he sinks back into the pillow. “Perfect. We have a lot more of my furniture to test out if you think your old man body can handle it.”
“Goodbye, Hanbin.”
The sound of Hanbin’s laughter follows him all the way out of the apartment.
“The child is here,” Hao says over the music to Jiwoong, the two of them in their usual seats at the bar.
“Matthew is younger than Hanbin, by the way,” Jiwoong retorts without any heat, already ignoring Hao to look around for his boyfriend instead.
“I didn’t have a crisis about his age because I know what I want.”
Jiwoong supposes that’s fair. He’s not paying any mind to Hao anymore though. Not when Hanbin is sliding onto the stool beside him and greeting him with a kiss.
“I have a problem,” are the first words out of Hanbin’s mouth. Jiwoong raises his eyebrows. On the surface level, Hanbin looks fine. It’s only been a couple of months but he’d taken Jiwoong’s advice to heart. Now, for the most part, he gets enough sleep.
“What’s the problem?”
“My bedframe collapsed.”
“Oh? That’s fine, you can just stay at my place then,” Jiwoong says with a shrug, passing Hanbin the drink he’d ordered for him already.
Hanbin doesn’t seem to like that answer. “No, you have to come help me fix it.”
“At this hour? Absolutely not. We can hire someone.”
Jiwoong can tell immediately that he has robbed Hanbin of an opportunity to set him up for some sort of joke, which means Hanbin is probably going to pivot to insulting his age now.
And sure enough—
“You’re so old.”
“Yes,” Jiwoong agrees easily. “And if your bed is actually broken, I’m not sleeping on a mattress on the floor ever again.”
“It’s like you don’t even care about the night we met.”
Jiwoong silences him with a kiss and Hanbin smiles into it, which means Jiwoong has been bamboozled and this is what he was after all along. “Maybe you are a child.”
“Whatever you say, gramps.”