Chapter Text
Today at UA Academy, the students of class 1-A had an unusual practice.
Normally, to see how they act under pressure and make them feel like they're living in a life-threatening situation, they have several locations with perfect equipment, but in those places the damage must be kept under control so that no one can die right there, something that won't happen to them when they become professional heroes.
Now that they were ready to face these types of situations, the dilemma lay in how to make them handle a risky rescue or a natural disaster that seemed real without endangering their lives, since they were still training after all.
State-of-the-art technology was then used, which was not difficult to obtain for an academy of such caliber.
The idea was to put the students in a simulation that would look extremely real. They would feel pain inside it if they were injured, but their real bodies would be in perfect condition. They could train their minds this way.
Physical training was extremely necessary, but they also had to have their minds ready for what going on a high-risk mission really entails, so here they were.
They could play with their minds and thus prepare them for the worst, because being able to handle it was something they definitely needed.
Bakugou personally didn't think it was necessary, he was sure he was 100% prepared for everything and he preferred practical training since these were in real life, he didn't see the point in doing it in a simulation and he didn't want to miss any physical practice, in any case it's not as if any simple training was going to put him in trouble.
He didn't know the simulation would feel like the real world, nor did he understand how much they would mess with his mind. But hey, he'd figure that out in time.
When he was about to have his first simulation, Aizawa-sensei had him sit in a strange, reclining chair. There were a few machines here and there, nothing too unusual, and he put a device around his head.
"Okay, Bakugou, don't worry. I'll be watching everything from here and managing the simulation in case anything gets out of hand. It'll feel real, but you have to remember that it isn't," the black-haired explains calmly.
"Just do it now, this isn't a challenge for me, it'll be easy." He thought it would be like a virtual reality video game, he didn't take it very seriously.
"Okay," Aizawa types some things into his computer as the machines begin to power up. "To do this, it must connect to your brain's prefrontal cortex. That will allow it to analyze your memories to identify your fears, insecurities, and weaknesses for use in the simulation; but you already said it, it will be easy for you." He smiles somewhat sarcastically.
"Will you see my memories, Sensei? You won't like what you'll see," he laughs haughtily.
"I'm not interested in wandering through your memories, Bakugou-Kun," he says plainly, "that's not legal either."
It didn't matter if Katsuki didn't accept his weaknesses, denied his insecurities, or hid from his fears, even if he didn't notice them or say them out loud, if any of these were in his mind then they were going to be found and used for the simulation.
Needless to say, it would be a very personal, exhausting, and complicated test. One had to face the worst within themselves to accomplish the mission without letting those things get in the way, prioritizing the goal. Tough, but what it takes to be a hero.
"How boring, when do we start?" he asks abruptly.
"First, we need to establish an emotional connection so the machine can access the right area of your brain for this. Don't answer out loud, just relax and let the answer come to you." It was impossible to lie with a system like that; the first thing that jumped to your mind upon hearing that would be your answer, and it would be displayed on the screen. "Imagine this: You're in an endless desert with a vast black sky. You've exceed the limits of your quirk, you're injured and can barely move. A hand reaches out toward you. Who does it belong to?"
No matter how hard Bakugou tried, upon hearing such a question, his brain couldn't help but automatically think of only one person.
"How was your simulation?" Mina asks.
"It was a rescue in a city where all the buildings were collapsing," Kaminari says, "I thought it would be fun but it was too real, more than our practices."
"Right?" Sero shouts. "It was crazy. In my simulation, I fell into the water and couldn't get out. It really felt like I couldn't breathe and was drowning."
"I thought that the fact that they would see our fears wouldn't be so bad, but my biggest phobia is insects, and I was in an underground place, then thousands of them appeared and I felt them all crawling on my body, I almost fainted" the pink-haired girl explains, ecstatic.
"And do you know how much debris fell on me? When they pulled me out of there, I really couldn't believe I couldn't feel anything anymore and didn't have any scars," Denki says.
"Kirishima, how was your test?"
"Uh, it was a fire at our high school," he replies with a chuckle and a scratch on the back of his neck. "So, long story short, I failed too."
"Almost all of us did it, Aizawa-Sensei said that it would have been something very unusual if we achieved it on the first try" Mina says as consolation, remembering how her best friend felt at their old school.
"What about you, Bakugou?"
"Tsk, this is some really useless shit" He crosses his arms.
"He didn't pass," Kaminari whispers.
"Shut the fuck up, damn Pikachu!" the ash-blond shouts.
"Calm down, Bakugou, none of us could" Kirishima gives him a smile and touches his shoulder.
"Shut up, you incompetents, I'll do it next time."
"That's optimism. I'll do it too" The redhead smiles while pointing at himself.
"Forget about me giving up, I'm going to completely master it too!" Pinky says, smiling.
"Hey, I don't want to get into that thing again," the blond complains, and the others laugh. "I'm serious!"
Amidst the laughter, Kirishima looks at Bakugou, gives him a positive smile as bright as the sun, and touches his knee comfortingly.
Katsuki doesn't say anything, much less return the smile or remove his frown, but he doesn't do anything to move his redhead's hand away either.
A few days later Kirishima was woken up in the middle of the night by loud knocking on his door.
He had no idea what was happening or who it could be at such an hour, but upon hearing it, he just lazily got up from his bed and walked towards his bedroom door while rubbing his eyes.
He had just woken up, his hair down and only wearing his underwear and a shirt, but if someone was going to see him at that hour, what else could they expect from his appearance?
He opened the door and saw Bakugou standing in front of him.
"You took a long time, you piece of shit," he complains.
"Bakugou?" he asks, confused.
"Well, who else?" he asks rhetorically. "Move, I'm going in." He pushes him gently and walks into the room.
"What's wrong? It's late," he says, still sleepy, as he turns on his nightstand, and the small light that illuminated the ash-blond's face was enough to wake him up completely. "What happened to you? Are you okay?" He sits down next to him and touches his bruised face.
"Tsk, I had a fight with that nerd of Deku."
"When? You were fine before we went to sleep."
"Just now. Aizawa suspended us" He crosses his arms while complaining.
"Why was it?"
"He's an idiot," is all he says and Eijirou only knew that the other was not going to tell him any more details.
"Are you okay?"
"Of course I am, I won, of course I did against that damn nerd."
"Do you want to sleep here?"
"I wasn't going to ask you, I already came here," he says in his typical brusque tone.
"Well, settle in."
"You don't have to say it."
The redhead was clearly worried about him. The fact that he got into a fight with Midoriya in the middle of the night, that he'd gotten suspended, that he'd been hurt, and that he'd gone to him right away after it was all over. He didn't think everything was okay, but he was glad he was going to him.
Bakugou lay down on the bed as Kirishima turned off his nightlight and soon joined him.
The ash-blond had his back to him so s
he settled behind him and pressed his chest against his back while sliding his arm around his waist.
They didn't speak after that, the taller one was definitely not a man of words but still from time to time he needed support no matter how much he hid it, so having his redhead there with him was more than enough to start forgetting the horrible night he had.
Bakugou was physically and mentally exhausted, so it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, with Kirishima following close behind. When this one's eyes were already heavy and his mind was beginning to sink into sleep, he lightly felt the other's hand move closer to his and his thumb stroking circles over his skin. He probably did it because he was asleep, but Eijirou had nothing to complain about and fell asleep with a small smile on his lips.
And so they spent another couple of hours of the night sleeping together, cuddling and with each other's warmth.
At first everything was fine, until Bakugou started having a nightmare, probably as a result of everything he had discussed with Deku and talked to All Might that night.
In his dream he was tied to a chair with his hands completely covered in metal. He was surrounded by darkness but he knew where he was, it was the meeting place of the League of Villains, that time they had captured him.
He felt distressed, he breathed but the air did not reach deep enough, he wanted to scream but his voice would not come out.
Being kidnapped had been too horrible even if he had never shown it, but the worst thing was not that, but that because he could not get out of that situation All Might had to rescue him and finally be left without any more power, all because he could not get out of there and not even in his dreams was he able to do it.
Then that villain made of mud who had attacked him when he was still in middle school, that time when All Might and..., Deku had saved him, appeared around him and began trying to get into his body.
He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. The desperation to be free of this was too strong. He needed to breathe. His throat burned, his chest tightened as if it were being crushed, and he couldn't do anything. He felt like he was going to die, and he couldn't do anything.
Tears of effort, frustration, and distress flowed uncontrollably, his screams couldn't leave his throat, and he felt as if his body would be destroyed at any moment.
"Bakugou," a familiar voice can be heard in the background, which somehow comforts him amidst the whole situation. "Bakugou!" It was Kirishima.
Before his eyes he could only see Red Riot's hand reaching out towards him and that was more than enough.
Somehow he was able to move his arms with ease now and just reached out to firmly grasp that hand... Then everything calmed down and Bakugou could breathe.
Katsuki's eyes flew open, his breathing labored, and he could barely understand that he was waking up.
"Bakugou," Kirishima calls out once more, and Bakugou's eyes travel to him. Everything was fine.
He tried to regulate his breathing, but it was difficult. At one point, he moved a little and noticed he was holding the redhead's hand tightly. This one gave him a little tug and helped him sit up.
"It's okay, breathe with me." He rests his forehead against his. "Now inhale... and exhale." Bakugou follows his instructions and breathes with him. "Inhale, and exhale. Okay." He strokes his hair. "Are you feeling better?" He swallows hard.
"Yes. Thank you, Kirishima." He places his hand on the aforementioned's arm and stays there for a moment, his forehead against the redhead's, close to him, still holding his hand.
Then he fell onto his shoulder and closed his eyes, there were some tears there... That night had been too much for him.
"I'm here," Kirishima hugs him and strokes his neck. Now Katsuki notices that his back was full of sweat thanks to his nightmare.
"I'm tired," he whispers exhaustedly.
"Come on, let's go back to sleep. I'll be here, you won't have any more bad dreams" The redhead lays down.
"This is the second time tonight I've woken you up." He looks at him and strokes his shoulder.
"It doesn't hurt to lose some sleep if it's for knowing you're okay" He smiles at him. "Come on." He opens his arms to him, and Bakugou looks away for a moment, feeling more tears prick his eyes. Shit, he was so emotional that night. It was because of All Might... it was because of that.
The ash-blond boy fell into his boyfriend's arms and hid his pained face in his chest.
Eijirou hugged him gently and lovingly, kissing his head and letting his face feel his soft hair.
Kirishima's warm, soft touch always brought peace to his heart and made him feel like everything would be okay.
Another simulation that Bakugou had failed, another frustration that grew strongly in him with anger.
One moment he was there, completely defeated, cornered by a villain, injured and unable to reach the people in danger.
Then he blinks and when he opens his eyes, he is back in the academy with Aizawa by his side.
He was sweating and clenched his fists in anger. Why couldn't he do this? It wasn't even real! He was going to be the number one hero, how can he not even take on these missions?!
"Don't be so angry, you're doing well," his sensei tells him as he turns off the machines.
"I'm failing!" he barks. "This must be some kind of error. There's no way I'd be defeated in those shitty missions in real life."
"There are no mistakes, you just have to keep working while facing your fears. It's probably difficult because your simulations are set on Kamino," he says as he removes the artifact from over his head.
"That has nothing to do with it, I can still do my job."
"But there are things that distract and hold you back. If you don't face them, you'll never be able to complete a mission at 100% capacity in that place, or anywhere else where you've been through something bad. You can't be a pro hero like that."
"Bullshit, like I'd let those things affect me on a mission" he denies flatly and leaves the room with heavy steps.
Him? Him, letting something from his past affect him on a mission? He could go fight any villain on Kamino without a problem. He'd always do his job perfectly, and that's why he'd be the number one hero.
That simulator must be doing something wrong because Bakugou would pass any test presented to him there in real life, which is what matters.
He was quite angry, he didn't want to think about that now so he went to look for Kirishima to distract himself for a while from that bad experience and then go train with him, as they normally did.
He knocked on his bedroom door but it opened, that idiot had probably closed it wrong.
"Hey, Kirishima, can't you even close a d—" He freezes as he enters and his eyes fly open, unable to process what he was seeing.
There was a large pool of blood on the floor... next to Eijirou.
"K-Kirishima..." He approached him. This couldn't be, it had to be some kind of stupid joke, it was impossible for him to really.... "Kirishima, you idiot! Stop pretending!" He kneels down next to him and touches his face.
"Bakugou..."
"W-What the hell are you doing?! This isn't funny!"he shouts, almost angrily.
"The League... The League of Villains, entered here..." he says with difficulty.
"That's impossible, security is very high, no alarm sounded!"
"...It's cold," he mutters, bringing his hand to his stomach, and when Katsuki saw it, he knew it wasn't a joke. There was no way that wound was fake, so Kirishima was...
"No, no!" He holds his head. "Fuck, look at me! Don't act like you're going to die from this, Red Riot!" Die? No, no, no. Kirishima couldn't die, of course not, he couldn't lose his life... An attack like this wasn't enough to take him. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't!
"You have to warn... Aizawa-sensei. Maybe they attacked someone else, they have to know... They can't end up like this too."
"Fucking hell! You're fine, it's just a fucking wound, it's not that bad!"
"Bakugou, you have to go..."
"No! The teachers will know, I have to take you to Recovery Girl."
"... I can't feel my legs."
"Then I'll carry you, you idiot!"
"If you move me... it will get worse."
"I-I just need to find something to stop the bleeding" He looks around for something that will help.
"Bakugou!" he can barely scream. "I can't, I can't anymore. You have to forget about me and warn the others, or they'll die too."
"You're not going to die! Y-You can't. I don't give a shit about anyone else! Let them go and be the fucking heroes they're supposed to be, I'm going to help you!"
"But if you go now you could save man—"
"I'm not going!" he screams from the chest and starts looking for something to stop the bleeding.
He turned around for a second and when he looked back, the redhead's eyes were closed.
"Kirishima, open your eyes! Wake up! Open your eyes, idiot!" His heart was pounding, and his tears were uncontrollable. "Eijirou, please!" he begged.
Was he still breathing? No, no. He had to cover his wound and perform CPR, then he'd be okay, and he'd take him to Recovery Girl. He'd be okay, of course he'd be okay.
And then... everything stopped.
He opened his eyes and saw a white ceiling, familiar lights. His breath was ragged, his chest was constantly rising and falling, his whole body was sweating cold, his fists were clenched, and even his toes were tense.
"Bakugou, calm down, it wasn't real" Aizawa was by his side.
"W-What?" He shifts a little, puzzled, and... he was there, in that chair with those simulation gadgets.
"Relax, nothing you saw really happened" He helps him sit down.
"What the fuck was that?!" he yells at the top of his lungs.
"It was another simulation.)"
"So when I finished the first one before, we talked and I left, it was actually another simulation?!"
"We were supposed to do this so you'd think what you were experiencing was in the real world and we'd know how you'd react. You failed."
"What did I fail?! I'm not a doctor, how could I help Kirishima so he wouldn't...?!" So he wouldn't die...
"That wasn't the goal. Bakugou, being a professional hero involves a lot of risks. You're going to lose teammates, and when you know there's no way to save them, you have to accept it and go help the others so no one else dies. You were given that information, and you refused. In reality, if you had done that, more than one of your teammates would have died. That's why you're not ready yet, and that's okay. Now you know. We'll keep working on it. It's what you train for."
"You made me think Kirishima was dead! That the League was attacking us! That who rescued me from Kamino had..." he trailed off. He couldn't believe this, he didn't understand, his body was about to explode from everything he was feeling.
"This is designed to help you confront your weaknesses and become a better hero. If you learn to handle this well now, then you'll be able to do it without any problems when you become a professional." The teacher explains things calmly and serenely, while the ruby-eyed was almost steaming.
"How the hell do I know the simulation is over?! How do I know now that if I walk out that door, I'm living in the real world?!"
"You can't taste anything in simulations. Have this and regain your strength while you're at it. It surely lowered your blood sugar." He hands him a piece of chocolate.
The ash-blond takes it roughly and bites off a piece. He was right, he could taste it and in the simulations he couldn't.
He threw the rest of the chocolate out the door and slammed it. He couldn't believe that had just happened.
He was still sweating and trying to calm his anger. This shitty simulation, these fucking useless practices!
He would have killed Aizawa if it weren't for the fact that it would cause him problems later, like being expelled.
He was walking down one of the hallways, frowning, putting force into each of his steps and grumbling to himself under his breath.
"Bakugou, there you are," Kirishima's voice says. "How did it go this time?"
The ash-blond certainly didn't hear clearly what he said, but his expression softened when he saw his face, his smile, and his hand extended towards him.
He couldn't handle it, just a few minutes ago he experienced firsthand what it was like to have a bleeding and seriously wounded Kirishima in front of him, just a few minutes ago he thought he was... dying.
At that moment he couldn't think and his body just moved, even if he could regret it later.
He hurried over to the redhead, still wearing that worried, concerned expression none of his friends had ever seen on him before.
He hugged Eijirou tightly, shocking everyone else.
Mina, Sero, Kaminari and even Kirishima himself didn't know what to say, or what was happening.
After a moment of shock, Eijirou reacted to the hug and let his arms wrap tightly around Bakugou's waist.
He had no idea what had happened that made his boyfriend give him a hug like that in front of other people, although he really couldn't complain because it felt so good and he liked it so much.
"Now that's something I never thought I'd see," Mina says, smiling at them.
"Shut up," Katsuki says quietly, just burying his face in Kirishima's shoulder and pressing the hug a little tighter, feeling him completely.
He was okay, everything was okay. He could still hold his hand when he needed to.
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