Work Text:
“I don’t even like flowers.” Jungkook groans.
The boy is ignored completely. “This, Jungkook, is a Naked Man Orchid otherwise known as Orchis Italica.” Taehyung explains, practically pushing the flower into Jungkook’s face.
“Okay, so the dick flower.” Jungkook says monotonously.
Taehyung frowns at him. “Orchis Italica.”
“Like I said, dick flower.” Jungkook repeats, popping a sour tape into his mouth.
Taehyung gives up and moves to the next flower. “And this, is the Virgin Mary in Moon Orchid otherwise known as Phalaenopsis Amabilis.” Taehyung says, pointing to another bunch of flowers.
“Okay, so the Taehyung Mary Orch-”
“Son of a bitch.” Taehyung says, hitting Jungkook on the head with a bouquet. Added the fact that it was Kim Taehyung who was hitting him just made it all the more unthreatening.
A pile of pink petals rest on top of Jungkook’s head and he lazily picks at them, letting them fall on the counter.
“Okay, okay, yeah, fine. What was it’s other name? Was it like Hakuna Matata or something?” Jungkook asks and what concerns Taehyung the most is that he looks completely genuine when he asks this.
Taehyung runs a hand through his already messy hair in frustration. Here they were, once again, working in their little flower shop by the little cafe in a little street. It was always just the two of them. Sometimes three, when Taehyung’s boyfriend, Jimin stopped by but usually, it was just them. They were seated behind the counter, Taehyung once again attempting to give Jungkook a lesson on floristry and it was too fucking early in the morning and Jungkook hadn’t even had a cup of coffee yet and fuck, what does that matter, it’s always too fucking early to deal with Taehyung when he starts talking about flowers.
Taehyung and Jungkook had been friends for three years and co-workers for a month and a half. There were many things they had in common. For example, they were both alive and breathing and they both had hair and skin. Amazing, right? All Jungkook could’ve ever asked for in a friendship.
But one thing they didn’t have in common, was that Taehyung was here voluntarily and Jungkook was dragged by the collar. Literally.
“I could’ve just worked at a gas station, hyung.” Jungkook says, leaning back on his chair. “I could’ve worked at Mcdonalds and gotten free nuggets or something.”
“You needed the cash and I was lonely.” Taehyung says, factually. “You get to earn money by sitting here and letting me do all the work and I get to spend time with my bestest best buddy friend in the world!”
“Please don’t ever call me that again.”
At that moment, they hear the front door to the shop open. Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat and he can tell Taehyung’s just as taken aback as he is. A customer? At ten in the morning? On a Saturday?
The said customer practically stomps his way to them and slams 23,000 won on the counter. He huffs and rips his mask off his face and says in the lowest and most serious voice Jungkook had ever heard in his life;
“I’m looking for a flower that passive-aggressively says ‘shut the fuck up’.”
Jeon Jungkook, nineteen years of age, has had many, many weird shit happen in his life. When you have Taehyung and Jimin as friends, the weird shit comes with the package. But this, this might actually take the cake.
“A.. a what?” Jungkook blinks. Taehyung gawks at the man, seemingly unable to close his mouth.
The customer side glances at Taehyung for a split second and smirks. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Jungkook wanted to laugh and say ‘what the fuck’ because literally? What the fuck. But the man looked so scarily serious about this that Jungkook couldn’t help but take it seriously as well.
“A flower that passive-aggressively says ‘shut the fuck up’. I see. Taehyung, can you-”
Jungkook looks to his right and sees that Taehyung had disappeared from his side. He sees the door to the storage room, left half-open and he sees a message written on a little yellow post-it note left in Taehyung’s place.
Fuck this shit im out
Jungkook nearly sputters in disbelief. The gall. The utter betrayal. He hears the stranger in front of him cough to call his attention and Jungkook nearly screams. He takes a deep breath to calm himself and focuses on the matter at hand. Do it for the cash. Do it for the cash. Do it for the cash.
He leaves the counter and decides that it was probably best that Taehyung left him to deal with this person. These are the types of guys that didn’t really mesh well with people like Taehyung. Taehyung was sunshine on legs and this guy looked like he had The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel constantly playing in his head.
The types of people Jungkook had been surrounded with in middle school. (Don’t get him started. It was a damn phase.)
“Sir, I’m gonna be really honest here, I’m not the expert when it comes to flowers. I’ve been working here for barely two months and I’m only in this for the cash. Tae, who’s more experienced, seems to have chickened out, but I will tell you this,” Jungkook pauses and stares at the guy, who actually, didn’t look much older than himself, “- there are flowers that look like naked men. With tiny dicks hanging out and everything.”
The customer looks like he tries to process the information for a minute before he smiles. This fucking sinister ass smile. And he nods, looking pleased. “Lead me to the naked flowers, inexperienced flower boy.”
Five minutes later, Jungkook and the customer have teared up due to laughter upon seeing the flowers up close.
“Jesus fucking Christ. Shouldn’t there be some sorta warning for this type of shit? Not suitable for children? A 19+ label or something?” The customer laughs.
“Sir, I’m-”
“-Yoongi.” He says, cutting Jungkook off.
“Y-yoongi?” Jungkook repeats, blinking at the latter.
He nods. “Yoongi. Min Yoongi. You can call me by my name. How old are you?”
“Nineteen.” Jungkook answers, still holding back his laughter from staring at the flowers for too long.
“I’m your hyung then. I’m Min Yoongi, twenty-three. And you are…?”
“Jeon Jungkook.” He answers, finally picking out a good bouquet for Yoongi and handing it to him. “Here’s your flowers.”
Yoongi chuckles, staring at them once again, before looking back at Jungkook. “Thanks.”
Jungkook shrugs about to make his way back to the counter. “Just doing my job.”
“No, I mean,” Yoongi struggles with his words a bit, his hands tightening around the bouquet, “I’ve been having a shit week and I haven’t really laughed that hard in awhile. So thanks.”
And Jungkook has only known the guy for a total of ten minutes or so, so he knows he’s not in the place to ask this. But he does know, Min Yoongi has a really cute, gummy smile that probably not a lot of people have the pleasure to see. And he has really cute frizzy hair and a low, seemingly naturally sultry voice and honestly, to put it straight, he was one hundred and ten percent Jungkook’s type. And with that in mind, he asks;
“Does it have something to do with the person you’re giving the dick bouquet to?”
Yoongi laughs at this. “Well. Let’s just say, my mother isn’t very accepting of the fact that I am a homosexual,”
(Fuck yes. Fucking yes. God, yes.)
“Jungkook?” Yoongi asks cautiously when he notices a change in his expression. “You are… fine with that, right?”
“What? Yeah. Yeah, completely fine. Of course. Yes.” Jungkook assures, trying to hide the fact that he was literally so okay with it that he wanted to run around the street naked with a rainbow painted on his forehead and a #GAYPRIDE banner.
“Anyway, yeah,” Yoongi says, returning to his story, “-and she’s been setting me up on dates with other girls thinking that if I did it, I’d magically stop sucking dick, which wasn’t so bad at first. Most of the girls I met were pretty accepting. They understood my situation when I explained it to them. Didn’t try to get in my pants. Except this fucking chick,”
“Oh no.” Jungkook says, leaning against the counter with his chin in his palm.
“Oh yes.” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “The most homophobic person I have ever met. Ever. And I’ve been alive for twenty three years, Jungkook. This girl was just… I wanted to...”
Yoongi pauses, trying to gather himself, his emotions, his thoughts.
Jungkook’s about to tell him that it was going to be okay until, “Hey, do you think you can murder people with your pinky finger if you just tried hard enough?”
Jungkook nearly chokes to death. “Hyung, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Yoongi laughs at him and reaches out to tousle his hair. “I should be going. Gotta give these flowers to a very, very special lady. See you around?” He calls out, as he heads out the door.
“See you… around.” Jungkook says, probably loud enough for only himself to hear.
Twenty minutes later, Taehyung reappears profusely apologizing to Jungkook for leaving him, along with a bouquet of roses, as he gets down on his knees and holds onto Jungkook’s hands.
“I am so sorry, I swear, I’ll buy you lunch for a month. I’ll buy you all the comic books you want. I’ll-”
“Hey, hyung,” Jungkook says, a dazed look in his eyes, “Do you think you can murder people with your pinky finger if you just tried hard enough?”
Taehyung’s bottom lip quivers and he dramatically drops to the floor with a distraught sound. “I’ve… I’ve lost you.”
Once Jungkook successfully convinces Taehyung that they’re still friends, he tells Taehyung all about The Tale of Min Yoongi and Passive Aggressive Dick Flowers. To say that Taehyung was excited was the understatement of the century.
“Jungkook! My grown up Jungkook! Getting crushes and craving dick!” He exclaims, slamming his hand down on the coffee table.
Jungkook lowers his head in shame, feeling the heat of the looks people were giving them. He raises his head a little to give them all an awkward, apologetic smile before reaching over to pinch Taehyung on the thigh.
“Ow, fuck! Jungkook!” Taehyung complains, shoving Jungkook’s hand away. “Okay, fine, fine, I’m sorry!”
Jungkook huffs and leans back into his chair, crossing his arms. “Now, let’s talk about something else. It’s not like this is gonna go anywhere anyway.”
Taehyung pouts and makes a disapproving noise. “Literally nothing’s happened and you’re already being so pessimistic. This is why you haven’t gotten laid in 500 years.”
“One minute you say I’m three years old,” Jungkook sighs, “- the next you’re talking about how I haven’t been laid in 500 years.”
“Listen,” Taehyung says, “- you could literally be eighty and rocking in your rocking chair knitting sweaters and shit and you would still be three years old to me.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Not the point of this conversation. The point is, the only thing I know about him is his name, that he’s cute and that he’s gay.”
“What the fuck.” Taehyung deadpans. “You know his name, he’s cute and he’s gay. You know, that’s more than some of us get in a lifetime.”
“That’s true, Jungkook.” Jimin says, plopping down next to Taehyung, a styrofoam cup of coffee in hand. “We haven’t seen you crush on anyone in almost a year. You shouldn’t just let this one go.”
“I talked to him a total of ten minutes.” Jungkook says. “It’s not a big deal. I just think he’s cute. Besides, he’s pretty out of my league. He’s like, four years older and probably wants someone more smart and mature, know what I mean? Besides, I didn’t even get his number.”
“Jeon Jungkook, we’re in the 21st century. You have his full name and Facebook on your phone. What the hell are you waiting for?” Taehyung complains, crossing his arms in exasperation.
Jungkook looks at Taehyung as if he’d grown two heads. “Are you fucking crazy? I’m not adding him on Facebook. That screams ‘creepy’ and ‘stalker’.”
“It’s been almost a week and all you’ve talked about other than your lack of money and academic responsibility, is this mystery Passive Aggressive Dick Flower Dude. If you don’t fucking contact this boy, I will.” Jimin says sternly.
“If fate decides that we’re meant to meet again, then we will. I’ll see where the wind takes me. Whatever the universe decides.” Jungkook says decidedly, taking a sip of his frappucino.
The couple in front of him roll their eyes.
“You can’t expect that Yoongi dude to just walk into the door with the sun shining behind him as a choir of angels sing in the background as he goes ‘Oh, Jungkook, it’s you’, you have to actually make a move!” Taehyung exclaims.
“Look, hyung-”
And at that very moment, it’s like God, whether it be Jesus or Allah or Buddha or Beyonce, was at work. Because the cafe’s glass doors open, the cold wind bursts in and Min Yoongi, clad in a black sweater and a scarf, the sun shining behind him, light enveloping him as if he were one of the Gods himself, walks into the cafe. White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes suddenly plays in the background and Jungkook’s heart literally stops and then tries to jump out his throat. He lets out an embarrassingly loud squeak. Taehyung and Jimin turn their heads.
Yoongi chooses to meet his eyes at that exact moment and he looks like it’s still registering in his brain for a few seconds before that adorable gummy smile materializes on his face.
“Oh, Jungkook,” He greets, making his way to their table, “- it’s you.”
Taehyung and Jimin gape at him. Yoongi raises his eyebrows.
“I told you. Take a picture. It lasts longer.” Yoongi smirks.
At this, Taehyung really does take out his phone and takes a picture of the two boys. “This shit’s going on snapchat. I can’t believe I’m not only a love guru but also, a magician.”
Jimin taps Taehyung’s arm urgently. “Say that exact sentence again but this time, replace Yoongi’s name with Taeyang sunbaenim.”
The conversation with Yoongi and his two friends goes smoothly. Taehyung and Jimin don’t scare him off with their eccentric personalities, Yoongi is half polite and half uninterested, Jungkook had managed to grab hold of Yoongi’s phone number and Jungkook can’t stop fucking staring at him, fuck.
“So,” Taehyung says, leaning forward, “- Jungkookie here told us a little about the episode you guys had in the flower shop. How’s the homophobe?”
Yoongi laughs at this and shakes his head. “Got out of that pretty quickly. It was the perfect plan. Make my mom think I’m trying to make things work by giving her flowers, giving her dick flowers with shitty intentions, she gets pissed, mom thinks it just didn’t work out and I am a free man.”
The three put their drinks down to give him a little applause. That sort of dedication, just to get out of a date, was truly admirable.
“So,” Jungkook coughs, “- are you finally gonna stop being set up on dates?”
Yoongi shrugs at this. “If I convince my mom and talk to her a little more, I think I’ll be able to get out of it. I’ll talk to her. I’ll settle things. I really hope it works and I hope it happens soon.”
Jungkook senses the tone of urgency in Yoongi’s voice and he raises his eyebrows. “Why?”
Yoongi smiles a little at this, uncharacteristically soft. “I met someone.”
(Fuck no. Fucking no. Jesus fuck.)
“You… you met someone?” Jungkook stutters, his hand squeezing his cup a little too hard.
Yoongi nods. “He’s pretty cute, he’s kinda awkward but he’s really endearing... and interesting. I don’t know him that well yet but… I want to know more. I want things to be calm and… just, settled with my family before I ask him out. You get me?” He says, leaning a little closer to Jungkook, his face impossibly close.
“That…” Jungkook gulps, trying to control the quiver in his voice. “That sounds really nice. I hope it works out for you then.”
Yoongi raises his eyebrows and gives Jungkook a look that he just couldn’t decipher. And Yoongi lowers his gaze and lets out a small laugh. “You’re so… fucking unreal.” He says under his breath.
“What was that?” Jungkook asks.
“Nothing.” Yoongi says, stretching out his legs a little before standing up. “I’d better get going. My hyung’s gonna start looking for me, I should’ve been home an hour ago.”
Taehyung and Jimin give Yoongi one armed hugs, as if they’d been friends for two years instead of two hours and Jungkook stands up to give him one as well, after Jimin had so graciously stepped on his foot from under the table.
“Don’t be a stranger, alright?” Yoongi says lowly against the shell of Jungkook’s ear. “You know, I might go back to the shop. Who else can I trust with the flowers I want to give to my special someone other than my inexperienced flower boy, right?”
(Don’t fucking blush, Jeon Jungkook. Don’t you dare. Hoe, don’t do it.)
“Right.” Jungkook manages to get out, giving him a small, hopefully not obviously forced smile.
Yoongi gives him this look again before chuckling to himself and waving goodbye before walking out the doors. Jungkook waits for his figure to completely disappear before he flops back down on his seat.
“See,” He says, looking up at his two friends, “He already likes someone else. It’s just never gonna happen.”
“Oh my fucking god.” They say together.
“What?” Jungkook asks, looking up miserably, and the worst about it was that he looked genuinely bummed out and clueless.
Taehyung purses his lips and brings his hands together, going into full prayer position. “You’re my best friend. And no offense, I mean this in the most loving, caring, gentlest, kindest way, but what the fuck?”
“Jungkook, what are you doing?” Taehyung asks, when he is greeted with Jungkook sitting on a stool trying to make a bouquet of lilies. (And failing, quite miserably.)
“My best.”
“Is that an order?”
“No.” Jungkook says with a voice so monotonous that it almost felt like Taehyung was talking to a robot.
“Then what’s that for?” Taehyung asked, taking a seat next to Jungkook, “- did someone pass away?”
“Me.” Jungkook answers automatically. “Now, leave me alone and let me mourn in peace.”
“I’m gonna murder you.” Taehyung deadpans.
“Well, I’m sorry!” Jungkook screams, raising his hands in the air and accidentally showering the two of them with white petals. “- but I literally have no idea what’s wrong with me either! Why am I like this? You tell me, Taehyung. Why. Why.”
“This, my friend,” Taehyung says, taking Jungkook’s hand in his, “- is called heartbreak.”
“I don’t give a fuck about what it is, I just want this to end.” Jungkook whines, banging his head on the counter.
“Kookie,” Taehyung sighs, resting his hand on his friend’s shoulder, “- these things take time. I mean, you two have been talking, right? Texting and all that shit?”
“All he talks about is his damn crush.” Jungkook says with a tone so bitter, Taehyung could taste it on his own tongue. “See for yourself.” He continues, tossing Taehyung his phone.
Yoongi Hyung
[Yesterday, 8:22 pm]
haha yeah, i agree! hey, listen, are u gonna be in the shop tomorrow?
Me
[Yesterday, 8:23 pm]
yeah, why??
Yoongi Hyung
[Yesterday, 8:25 pm]
wanna do this thing for the guy i like and i sorta need ur help?
can u?
Me
[Yesterday, 8:30 pm]
yeah
“You agreed to help him with his crush?” Taehyung asks, disbelievingly. “You.. why? I thought you liked him? Doesn’t it.. I don’t know, hurt a little, maybe?”
Jungkook groans into his arm. “I’m just being a good friend.”
“If it bums you out this much, you could’ve just told him to fuck off, you know. Like you'd usually do.” Taehyung says, softly. He probably shouldn’t be so concerned. He knew who Yoongi liked and he knew Jungkook wasn’t going to be sulking for much longer. But that’s the thing. Taehyung knew. Jungkook didn’t.
There’s a considerably long silence.
“It’s just that he sounds happy when he talks about him.” Jungkook says in an uncharacteristically small voice.
“Do I?” He hears a voice that did not sound anything like his best friend in the slightest and he slowly raises his head from the counter and is met with Min Yoongi’s beautiful fucking face, so close, so fucking close, close enough for him to just.. If he just leaned forward a little more, he could,
(No. No. No.)
“Hello.” Yoongi greets, voice low, breath hot against Jungkook’s mouth.
“Hey,” Jungkook whispers back. “Hey. You’re kinda… close.”
“I just…” Yoongi starts, bringing his hand to the counter, resting his little pinky on top of Jungkook’s. “I needed your help."
"Yeah," Jungkook answers nearly breathless, "Yeah, anything."
"I need a flower that passive aggressively says ‘I’ve talked to my mom and I think I kinda like you, so will you go out on a date with me, Jeon Jungkook?’” Yoongi smiles.
Jungkook wants to cry. He fucking loves flowers.