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1.
Kim Soleum’s first idea, to make Baek Saheon avoid him, was to draw Saheon decapitated and leave the drawing on the living room table.
At first he only drew Saheon, but then decided it would look suspicious if only one drawing was there. So, he drew more people he knew.
He drew J3 in human and wolf form, Park Minseong, Chief Lizard (Lee Jaheon), Eun Haje, Jung Heewon, Go Yeongeun and his good friend, Braun.
Unfortunately, he isn’t the best at drawing.
‘Would this even scare him? It doesn’t look that much like him.’
— Mr Roe Deer! Your drawings are fantastic. It would definitely scare him!
Ah. “Thank you, Braun.”
— You’re welcome, it’s what a Good Friend should do!
Smiling, he grabbed the pictures and placed them on the table, spreading them out so you could see all of them at once.
Then he went behind a wall and waited for Saheon to come.
He finally arrived and looked at the drawings.
‘I wonder if he got scared or not.’
Soleum walked up to him and said, “What are you doing?”
Saheon gasped, audibly, turning to face him. He stared at Saheon blankly until he said something.
“Nothing, sir. Just. Is that supposed to be me?”
He didn’t respond. Only began to smile.
‘I hope he finds this scary. Go away already.’
Saheon quickly ran to his room, away from him.
He let out a sigh of relief. ‘I’m so glad he’s gone now. It worked!’
— Of course it worked! My Good Friend is great at performing!
2.
His next plan was a bit weird.
It was to cut out the crusts of lots of bread and pile them up on the kitchen counter. With the remaining bread, he’ll draw smiley faces on them with sharpies and lay them on the couch.
‘I’m not sure if this will freak him out, but it will annoy him... maybe I shouldn’t do this.’
— Roe Deer, be confident! You already made the plan and bought the bread, shouldn’t you go through with it?
‘Braun’s right again.’
“Yes, I should. Thank you again… I’m not sure what I’d do without you."
— Don’t worry Roe Deer! I’ll always be a Good Friend to you.
Soleum smiled and started to cut out the crusts.
‘This will take a while’
After a long time of cutting, Soleum finally finished.
‘Now I have to draw smiley faces’
He took out a sharpie and started drawing.
Once he finished, he grabbed all of the crust and piled them in the middle of the countertop. He put the smiley bread into a bag and went to the couch.
Then, he started to arrange the bread to sit nicely next to each other.
Soleum admired his art for a moment, then left the room.
Soleum stared at the mouldy bread smiling on the couch. A week went by, so now it stunk and made the place smell musty.
‘This is disgusting. I should clean it soon’
—Roe Deer, you roommate is watching you!
‘Oh… I should talk to Braun to make him scared.'
“Braun. It’s not time yet, it still needs some more.” He poked the bread (Not the mouldy bits, he’s not that crazy yet), “I’ll add some meat next.”
‘I should get some raw beef…’
—I have meat you can use, so you don’t have to do shopping!
“Thanks, Braun.”
—It’s the least I could do as your Good Friend.
Saheon turned around. Soleum put his hand on his shoulder before he left.
Instantly, he turned to face him, who was smiling widely.
“You were watching.”
“No, I was-“
“You. Were. Watching.”
“…”
“…”
They blinked at each other for a moment.
“Sir, can you let go of my shoulder? Please.”
He let go and poked his nose. Saheon froze, freaked out.
“Don’t snoop around.”
And he walked away, back to the couch.
“How much meat should I take, Braun?”
—As much as you want!
“Okay, thank you so much!”
‘This will definitely scare him. It would scare me if I found an unidentifiable meat on my counter.’
The next day, in the morning before Saheon normally woke up, Soleum entered the living room and moved the smiley bread to the counter with the crusts.
He took the meat Braun gave him and placed it next to the bread.
It smelt slightly metallic, like fresh blood but not as strong.
‘I wonder what animal meat that is? It kinda looks like human flesh… but I’m sure Braun wouldn’t give me human meat...’
As soon as Saheon left the house for work, Soleum took all of the meat and put it in the fridge.
Afterwards, he took the mouldy bread and crusts and put them in front of Saheon’s bedroom door.
When Saheon got back, Soleum watched him. He put on gloves and grabbed a bag, then put all the bread in the bag.
‘I guess I didn’t scare him enough.’
He continued watching until he saw him about to throw the bag in the bin.
“What. Are. You. Doing.”
“Putting away some rubbish… sir”
He glared at Saheon, ripped the bag from his hands and walked away.
3.
The 3rd brilliant idea to make Saheon avoid him was to make book covers that made him think he was a darkness.
He took out a piece of card paper, folded it to fit on a book he had, and started to write, ‘How to Blend in with Humans’ on it.
‘This will make him scared of me even more, but just in case, I should make a threatening book and give it to him.’
He glued the cover on a book.
Then he took out a blank book and wrote a story about deers killing goats on the second last page.
Once upon a time, there was a stupid goat that hated deers.
This stupid goat kept on provoking the deers out of jealousy.
Until one day, the deers were fed up with the goat’s nonsense and started hunting all goats. The goats weren’t prepared for this carnage and they were all trampled.
The stupid goat was horrified. He didn’t want this to happen… He watched the deers dismember his older sister and tear out his family’s organs.
He ran away to hide, on his way he ran into a lone deer and his left eye was gorged out. Crying and bleeding, he ran and ran. He ran until he couldn’t anymore and hid in a cave.
He covered his eye socket with a eyepatch and the stupid goat swore to take revenge.
He snuck around to gather supplies and items for revenge, but one day when he was sneaking around, he saw a roe deer that chased him around yet never killed him. He lived in terror. This roe deer kept finding him and scaring him before disappearing.
He was so terrified, he had to do something. He decided to be brave and tried to kill the roe deer.
This backfired greatly.
The stupid goat reflected on all his stupid actions as he felt his organs explode inside him. He could feel the roe deer’s hooves pressing inside his stomach. He was helpless to do anything as he tried to move.
He should’ve been dead from the injuries, but something, someone, was keeping him alive. Just to see him cry and suffer helplessly.
His tongue was ripped out and his voice died out, blood coated the room’s walls and floors, making the place reek of blood. Laughter was the last noise the stupid goat heard.
[This story teaches you the importance of not provoking others]
‘This seems scary enough. He better feel scared or I’ll have to do something more... thought provoking.’
— Roe deer! This is such an amazing story. Do you want to write stories for my show?
“No thank you, Braun. I already have a job.”
‘I need to go home. I have to keep this job.’
— It could be a part time job! Only one story a week, the viewers would love your fun stories!
“No, no! This job is enough for me. I’m sure there are better writers out there that would love to join your show.”
Soleum printed out some realistic AI photos of goats being killed by deers and glued them in. On the last page he glued a photo of a goat with an eyepatch being stepped on by a roe deer (Roe deers have less complex antlers compared to normal ones).
Once he finished he grabbed the ‘How to Blend in with Humans’ book and started reading on the couch.
Saheon entered the room and started to stare at the book cover.
‘Now he must think I’m a weird darkness who wants to trick humans and avoid me.’
“Staring, are you?”
“No! I was, uh, just walking by. To the kitchen for dinner.”
“…” Soleum stared at him, unimpressed.
“Sir… I-“
Soleum got up and went to his room, ignoring that Saheon was about to say something.
He took a deep breath, grabbed the book he made about the deer, and was about to leave but he got an idea.
He grabbed a book called, ‘Tips on getting Rid of Nightmares’, scratched out ‘getting Rid of Nightmares’, and then went back.
Re-entering the living room, he walked up to Saheon.
“Take this. It’s interesting.”
He smiled and he handed Saheon a book called, ‘The Goat that was Trampled by a Deer.’
He went back on the couch and opened his book, ‘Tips on ------- --- -- ----------’.
‘Saheon’s still staring at me… Is he plotting on how to kill me? It’s not that weird of a title for him to keep staring…’
“Still staring?”
Saheon immediately ran to his room and slammed the door.
Soleum let out a quiet sigh of relief and continued reading.
4.
Saheon tried to hypnotise him into not noticing he was there and it worked! For a week.
Soleum was terrified. He clearly didn’t scare Saheon enough to make him not use items on him. So now he has to do something drastic.
“Braun. I have a plan to scare my roommate, can you please help me?”
— Of course! You’re my Good Friend, I have to help you! What do you need?
“I just need some fake human blood. Thank you so much! You’re truly the best Good Friend I’ve ever had.”
‘I don’t know where to find fake blood. I’m so glad Braun is here.’
— Got it! Here you go. I can’t wait to see this plan of yours.
A huge container of ‘fake’ blood manifested out of nowhere. For some reason, Soleum didn’t even question it and immediately set out to do his plan.
First, he put Braun into his pants pocket.
“Sorry, Braun. I don’t want you to get dirty…”
— It’s okay, my friend! I would hate to get dirty.
He grabbed a brush, dipped it in the container and went into the living room.
On the living room floor, he painted a pentagram. Whenever the blood ran out, he went and got more until it was finished.
Next he grabbed some candles he bought before and placed it on each point of the pentagram. He lit them all with a lighter.
At last, he went into his room and dragged the container in front of his door (Still in the bedroom). He opened it and left the lid on the floor.
Then, he dumped his hands in it and spread the ‘fake’ blood on the carpet, making sure it spread outside underneath the door.
He opened the door with his elbow (To prevent blood getting on it, since it’s still gross even if its ‘fake’.), closing it behind him and entered the living room.
He took a deep breath, then made really loud bang noises1.
Quickly, he kneeled in front of the pentagram, closed his eyes and put his hands together like he was praying.
He mumbled random letters under his breath (Like asquishquilmotocin and filkonpinrotosh)
‘I hope Saheon wakes up and sees this, otherwise this was for nothing.’
Soon enough, he heard quiet footsteps come and go.
When the footsteps were gone, Soleum stopped mumbling and began to blow out the candles. He spent the rest of the night cleaning up his mess.
5.
Soleum had a crazy idea. It was so crazy, even he thought that he shouldn’t do it. But.
— Oh, Roe Deer, don’t be afraid. This is a fantastic idea! You must do it! I can provide all the materials, all you have to do is place them.
‘I don’t want to make Braun mad… and my Good Friend is always right... I guess I'll do it.’
“Okay, Braun. Thank you for helping me.”
— You are my Good Friend, I have to help you! Good Friends always help each other.
Soleum didn’t remember much of what happened next. All he knew is that he tied some nooses on the ceiling, dripped fake? blood on them and dropped some torn meat all over the floors in the hallways, kitchen and living room.
‘Did I tear the meat? Or did they come like that? Why don’t I remember…’
— Roe deer! It’s almost time for your roommate to come back.
“Ah. You’re right.”
‘It doesn’t matter. All that matters is scaring Saheon into avoiding me.’
He hid behind a wall until he saw Saheon come and open the door.
Once he saw him turn around to leave, Soleum quickly went towards him.
“Where are you going?”
He flinched. Shock painted his face and Soleum could hear his breath turn rapid.
“N-nowhere. Just inside.”
He smiled.
“Great. Let’s go together... I’m going in too.”
“Yes… sir”
They entered the place together. He could hear their shoes squelch as they pressed against the flesh.
‘Huh. This looks worse than I thought.’
He took off his shoes and let his socks touch the disgusting floor full of blood and flesh. He could feel the slimy, cold flesh and tacky blood wet his socks.
‘Gross… This is disgusting. Why did I do this…’
“Why aren’t you taking off your shoes? Not taking off your shoes is unhygienic.”
‘This is disgusting, so you should feel it too.’
“R-right. Yes sir…”
Saheon took off his shoes and stepped on to the ground.
SQUELCH!
His socks turned wet with blood and meat stuck to it.
‘Wow. He actually did it.’
Saheon started to run to the bathroom.
“Why are you running? You’ll trip.”
‘If he gets hurt, trips and sues me, it would be bad.’
He stopped running and speed walked to the bathroom.
As soon as Saheon entered the bathroom, Soleum closed the front door and began walking towards his bedroom
Once he reached his room, he entered and immediately took off his disgusting socks.
Sudden clarity hit him like a truck.
‘That was so terrifying… how was I not scared earlier? It looked so scary.’
‘Well, I know nothing will hurt me and Braun will protect me, so it’s not that scary…’
‘I feel horrible. I should take a shower.’
And Kim Soleum's day ended with a nice, warm shower.