Chapter Text
Day One
Carla Connor was incredibly nervous. She wasn’t usually one to get nervous but tonight, she was practically shaking, as she waited for her turn to walk out on stage in front of a massive crowd with AJ Adodo and Will Best. She had watched Big Brother all her life. She loved it. It was one of her very guilty pleasures. She never imagined, at fifty years old, she would be bold enough to actually appear on the show.
In a separate room, Lisa Swain was also very nervous. She cursed her teenage daughter, who would be out in the crowd, for pushing her to apply for Big Brother. What was she thinking? Locking herself in a house with a bunch of strangers for weeks on end? If she was lucky enough not to get voted off too quickly. She didn’t even like people. In her job, as a Detective, she saw the worst of them. But Betsy had been sure that it would be good for her. To test herself. Grow in confidence.
“Hi, my name’s Lisa. Most people know me as DS Swain.”
Lisa smiled shyly into the camera.
“I’m a Detective. A single Mum. It was actually my daughter who pushed me to apply.”
She laughed a little nervously.
“She thought it would bring me out of my shell a bit.”
She sighed wistfully, the camera then switching to Lisa in work-mode with a pretend pair of handcuffs dangling from her fingers.
“I think I’m going to struggle to live with people who are rude or selfish. Or who don’t do the washing up.”
She smiled broadly.
“I’m a pretty good cook, although I’ve never cooked for that many people. Maybe there’ll be a chef in there!”
“Here’s your seventh housemate!” Will Best announced. “It’s… Lisa!”
Taking a deep breath, Lisa waited for the car door to open. When she did, she stepped out. She was shocked by how excitable the crowd was. She followed the security guard up towards the stage and accepted Will’s hand when he held it out to guide her up.
She scanned the crowd immediately, finally feeling calmer when she saw Betsy in the crowd with her boyfriend, Mason. They were both cheering like crazy.
“Lisa,” AJ said. “So, you’re a Detective?”
“I am,” she managed.
“Have you brought your cuffs with you in case anyone steps out of line?” Will smirked.
“You’ll have to wait and find out!” Lisa replied.
“Well, let’s get this started then!” he said, handing her a hideous looking eyeball. “Into the house you go!”
Taking another deep breath, Lisa waved and turned backwards, walking towards the door. She waved again at the door, as she had been told to and then headed inside.
Inside the large, open plan lounge and kitchen, there were already six people present. And they were all keen to meet her.
“Hi!” said a very sophisticated woman with an Australian accent. “I’m Terese!”
Lisa smiled gratefully at her.
“I’m Lisa,” she replied.
The rest of the group gathered around her. She was introduced to George, Charity, Matty and Remi. She was grateful that she was good with names. The last person to step forward was around her age with short hair.
“Hi,” she said, extending her hand. “I’m Becky.”
“Lisa,” the Detective replied.
“Would you like a drink?” Charity asked, lifting her own glass of champagne.
“I would love one!” Lisa admitted.
She looked around, as Charity led her to the kitchen counter, upon which was a tray of drinks. She noted that almost everyone was enjoying champagne. Terese was drinking orange juice.
Within moments, a blonde woman, who didn’t look dissimilar to Lisa herself, arrived. Followed by a sweet looking guy called Ste. Then an even sweeter guy, David. After him came an older, slightly dizzy woman called Jean. Then a fourth Australian, Aaron. He seemed to be made entirely of muscle. Next was a pretty, rather brash Irish woman called Stevie.
“Hi, my name’s Carla Connor and I own my own business in Manchester.”
Carla’s VT played, as the team got her ready to make her appearance on stage.
“I’ve always been a fan of Big Brother. I’ve just turned fifty and I thought I’d throw myself a new challenge.”
Carla smiled at the camera in various different poses, where she had been recorded at Underworld.
Images of the collections they’d been working on at the time showed in the background.
“I’ve been married five times. I’m widowed and divorced. A bit like Henry the 8th.”
She laughed nervously.
“Why did I say that? I’ve never beheaded anyone – I promise!”
She laughed again.
“Here’s your final housemate!” AJ said. “It’s… Carla!”
Carla braced herself to get out of the car. The crowd roared. She felt completely overwhelmed. She approached the stage, searching the crowd for her best friend and sister in law, Michelle and nephew Ryan. They were of course, right at the front, cheering.
Carla bumbled through her interview. She wasn’t even sure, by the time she reached the door to the house, what AJ and Will had asked or how she had answered. She was also utterly confused by the eyeball she had been handed.
Taking a deep breath, she waved one more time and then headed into the house.
Lisa looked up as the door opened again. The most beautiful woman she had ever seen marched through the door, the smile on her face raising her perfectly sculpted cheekbones even high. Before she could think it through, she broke away from her conversation with Becky and George and picked up a second glass and approached the newcomer.
“Hi,” she greeted.
“Hi!” the woman replied, sounding just as nervous. “I’m Carla.”
“I’m Lisa.”
Carla accepted her champagne gratefully, glugging half of it down.
“Are we crazy?” she asked Lisa.
They both looked around the busy room.
“I think we might be!” Lisa admitted.
Next time... Big Brother evicts someone prematurely...