Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 6 of Alice
Stats:
Published:
2013-04-27
Words:
458
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
72
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
1,772

Sexy Aliens

Summary:

The gang shares their thoughts on the sexiest fictional aliens.

Notes:

1. Alice, my original female character, is new in Smallville. There is something special about her, and she and Clark form a relationship.

2. This series starts after the end of the second season—after the destruction of the spaceship and Clark abruptly leaving town.

3. Underage warning: This story may contain human or human-like teenagers, in high school, in sexual situations.

4. The bad words are censored. That’s just how I do things.

I hope you enjoy this AU. I own nothing and appreciate the chance to play in this universe.

Work Text:

            “Okay, my turn!” Chloe fished another card out of the deck. “Category is... Movies. Question: ‘Who is the sexiest movie or TV extraterrestrial?’”

            Clark choked on his coffee and Pete whacked him hard on the back. “Are you okay, Clark?” Lana asked with some concern.

            His face turned a bit red as he mopped up some of the coffee he’d spit across the table. “Yeah, just...” He tried to remember what other people said. “Just went down the wrong way.”

            “Okay, come on,” Chloe insisted impatiently. “Sexiest aliens!”

            “That blond chick from Species,” Pete answered immediately. “She was hot!”

            “Ew,” Chloe replied. “Didn’t she, like, kill all the guys she had sex with?”

            “Yeah, but what a way to go!” Pete sighed happily.

            Chloe rolled her eyes. “Next!” She looked expectantly at Lana.

            “I don’t know,” Lana hedged, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t watch a lot of sci-fi. All the aliens seem to be bad, or gooey, or both.”

            “Too bad,” Chloe told her blithely. “You have to answer.”

            Lana pouted a bit, but it had no effect on Chloe. “Can it be cutest alien, instead of sexiest? Because then I would pick Yoda. Or maybe E.T..”

            “Fine,” the blond replied shortly. Getting Lana to dish out any answers that were remotely interesting during this game was nearly impossible... Unlike Clark—who usually seemed to have interesting answers but replaced them with boring ones before speaking—Lana appeared not to have an opinion about anything that went above PG‑13. A light PG-13. “Next!”

            “LeeLu, from The Fifth Element,” David decided thoughtfully. “’Cause she’s really hot, and kick-a-s, but also kind of... needy. And vulnerable.” Slowly everyone turned to stare at him until his face turned a shade of red usually reserved for Clark. “Um, well, anyway... She is really hot,” he sputtered, then ducked behind his coffee.

            “Clark!” Chloe announced. “You’re next. Sexiest alien.”

            “Seven of Nine, from Voyager,” Clark replied. It was the confidence in his tone that surprised Chloe, more than the answer. Usually he hesitated more.

            “And why?” she prompted.

            “She’s very strong, and commanding,” Clark began slowly, “and she has a really cool outfit.”

            David and Pete nodded appreciatively, but Lana interjected, “In all the pictures I’ve seen she just has, like, some skintight jumpsuit and these totally unrealistic boots.” The three teenage boys stared at her, as if to say, ‘And that’s a problem?’

            “Last one,” Chloe continued. “Alice?”

            The dark-haired girl twirled a curl around her finger and appeared deep in thought for a moment, until Chloe tapped her foot impatiently. “Jeff Goldblum, from Earth Girls are Easy,” she finally decided. “Because I like my aliens tall, dark, and handsome.”

            This time both Clark and Pete choked on their coffees.

Series this work belongs to: