Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The air was sticky, cloying and hot - the kind of hot that smothered you like a wet blanket. Made the air shift around you like it was too thick - fan's on full blast did nothing but shift the heat around - providing no relief - it just made the sweat cling to your skin, made it soak through your clothes. 

Made your clothes stick to your body like a second skin. Steve let out a soft, dirty grunt and curled his fingers lazily against his stomach, his shifted a little in the porch swing - rocking it with one leg - his shirt open he let out a piercing whistle. 

"Where you been?" His voice was gruff, sounded like he'd been chewing on gravel - his dog jumped up on the seat with him - licking his fingers lazily, and Steve rubbed behind his ears - "I gone and told you not to be chasin after those wild girls now hmm?" Thatch just looked at him, he wagged his tail.

Steve snorted softly, "Ain't nothin but trouble. You know that." The dog that had followed him home just looked at him too. "You bringin em home now?" Steve gave a soft whistle, and the other dog approached - a little weary, head down.

"Well now, you don't need to be scared - lil lady." Steve shifted, carefully - and he kept his head down, "I ain't gonna hurt you." He murmured - the dog looked weary - but Steve held out his hand, she lifted her paw - and Steve shook it. "...There you go, see - we can be friends. You can stay if you want too - Thatch, he's a good boy." 

She licked his face, wagging her tail and Steve smiled - a rare sight on his face. But he did have a weakness for Dogs.

"How bout you wait here, and I'll go get you somethin to eat." He held up his finger, "You sit." She sat still - waiting and Steve said, "Alright then." He got up - padding slowly into the house - the paint was peeling off the walls, the floorboards creaking - the house moved as though it was a living breathing thing. 

Probably because in these parts - it was. A Home carried its History in the foundations, in its walls - became a living breathing entity of the people that came before - and for those that might come after.

He opened the refrigerator - the motor humming noisily and he pulled out the meat of unknown origin from the meat drawer. Steve grabbed the cleaver and started hacking it up - the muscles in his body taught, shifting as he did - and then he grabbed a bowl and threw it in - along with the bones. 

Steve threw the cleaver in the sink, and then he grabbed a beer from the ice box, he headed back outside - throwing the meat and the scraps, he whistled - then said in a low voice, "Go on then, eat." 

Both dogs went down to the meat - Thatch started eating straight away, while his new lady friend looked a bit dubious - then she looked up at Steve. "Well don't look at me, if you don't eat it - there aint nothin else." He looked at her, "He'll eat it all, go on." 

She started eating, probably a little too fast - "There you go." Steve muttered, sprawling back in his chair he opened his beer - playing with the cap between his fingers - he gulped most of it down, and licked his lips. 

He let out a soft little sigh, as the cool liquid refreshed him for a brief moment anyway. The staticky crackle of his walkie getting his attention, "Come in Chief are you there?" The dulcet tones of his deputy, Robin Buckley bringing him out of his momentary state of happiness.

"Goddamn it Buckley, It's my day off - what are you hollerin at me for?" Steve barked into the walkie.

"Well see we got a situation, and.. it requires your specialized kind of approach?" She said somewhat timidly.

Steve raked his fingers through his hair, muttering darkly - "Goddamn sonsofbitches.." He answered her, "I swear to the good Lord above, if this is because Gareth has gone and done something stupid again, I will see to it personally that all of you die a slow and painful death.."

"Uh no Chief - this is because there's been a homicide at the trailer park." Buckley said - coming through quieter, more anxious - Steve hesitated before he answered. "A homicide?" His voice raspy. "There ain't been a murder in Woodville for years - nothing happens in this Shithole."

"Well.. I think you might wanna.. come take a look at this. It's.. in your wheelhouse?" Buckley sounded weird, not her usual chipper - over bright self. "Alright - you know what to do, tape it off - don't let anyone near it... I'll be there in ten minutes, and Buckley? Make sure Gareth is nowhere near this." He sighed - "So much for my day off.. goddamnit." 

Steve stalked back into the house, he decided that because it was his day off - he wasn't going to wear his uniform. He did pull on a black t-shirt, and reluctantly some socks and his boots - he grabbed his keys to his truck. The two dogs had finished eating, "Well go on then.." He undid the back and they both jumped in.

Steve gave them both a lazy scratch behind the ears, and then he climbed into his truck. He slipped his sunglasses on and then started the engine, heading off to the trailer park - the familiar sight of it made his skin crawl. 

***

When Steve parked his truck - he hissed through his teeth, "Don't touch the dogs Gareth, they ain't friendly.." Thatch snarled bearing his teeth - and Gareth backed up, "Oh.. shit.. yeah -" 

Steve sighed and then headed to the trailers - "I didn't go in Chief, Robin - I mean Deputy Buckley told.." He ignored him and then said hoarsely, "Buckley!" She stepped out of the trailer - pale and shaken.

"Y-Yes Chief, everything is secured, I called Jon - he's on his way." Steve lifted his sunglasses, he gave her a grunt in response - and she said, "Sorry I know.. you don't really want to see him." 

He gave her a dark look, "It don't matter, I ain't here to discuss that shit - just keep him out until I've had a look." Steve stepped inside the trailer - the smell was cloying, sweet almost - he just stepped in, there was quiet stillness inside the trailer - different to outside.

Steve assessed what was in front of him - tuning out everything else, everything else became back ground noise.

She was twisted and broken, broken in ways that seemed physically impossible - twisted like a broken doll - the eyes cut out of her skull. Twisted and broken and torn apart - he stepped closer, her torso was cut open, the insides - her organs were gone, instead she was full of flowers.

To be specific - Night Jasmine. It only bloomed at night - that's what the smell was. Sweet, slightly acidic too - white flowers, delicate - beautiful. Stained with blood. 

Steve let out a soft breath, not realizing he'd even been holding it. She'd been posed - splayed out - like she was a table decoration - a centerpiece. Her organs were in bowls on the table. Steve saw her heart on a platter at the head of the table.

He memorized everything in his mind - he didn't want too, but it was automatic - everything captured like a vivid colorful polaroid picture. Filed away - every detail captured perfectly so he could go back over it later. 

He left the room and the noise came crashing back in - the sound of cicada's - the sound of everyone talking all at once - the sound of the heat in the air - it was all sensory overload. "Chief!" Buckley brought him back to himself and he said quietly, too quietly. "What?"

She looked at him, blue eyes concerned - "...Uh Hopper's here." Steve growled out - "Great.." He lifted his gaze, just who he wanted to see - his former boss. Jim Hopper was head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI, he'd been the one that had organized for Steve to become a regular cop. He'd moved to the backwoods town in Virginia, and become their Chief of police. The two of them had a past together, as intertwined as a Kudzu vine.

In the middle of nowhere. Robin Buckley had become a friend - if such a thing even existed for him. If it were possible.

"Harrington..." Hopper looked at him, "You look like shit - have you been drinking again?"

"Jesus Christ - no I haven't." It was a lie, of course it was a lie. But he wasn't going to say anything else. Steve breathed out softly. "So did you have a look? What do you think?" Hopper muttered, he wasn't touching Steve, he knew better than that - nobody touched him. 

"...I.. don't know what the hell you want me to say to you right now?" Steve shook his head - "You took me out of the Unit - you made me come out here, and now you want my fucking advice?" His jaw twitched, too tight, voice too quiet - and Hopper said, "Well don't worry - I won't bring you in on the case like that - you can just consult..."

"Consult?! Fucking consult?!" His eyes didn't meet Hoppers - "...Jesus.. And who are you bringing in to deal with this.." He shook his head - "I.. don't want to do this."

Hopper said, "Munson and probably Wheeler." He said - "They're the best I've got."

Steve's jaw twitched, "Well you can go to hell - he's the reason you kicked me off.. he' thought I was mentally unstable, and her... well she's a goddamn slut."  

Hopper sighed heavily, "...Look kid - I know.."

"You don't know anything - Jesus Christ.." Steve snorted - "You can go to hell Jim. Work this case on your own - I'm...I don't do that work anymore - I'm not getting that shit in my head again." He climbed back in his truck. "Stay the hell away from me.." He started the engine and pulled away - driving away - his hands were shaking so bad he could hardly breathe. 

The smell of night jasmine clinging to his nose - the imagery in his head - and Steve was so aroused he could barely even focus. And that was something that terrified him about the entire thing - Murder, Death, Violence - that sort of thing shouldn't sexually arouse anyone. 

Steve was on the spectrum - or so he'd been told most of his life. He couldn't - Or didn't know how? To form emotional attachments, or be physical with someone else. He couldn't even mentally engage with someone else most of the time.

But to become sexually aroused by something like that? Steve knew it wasn't just disturbing. It was beyond that. Something was seriously wrong with him. Steve had known that for a long time. He was warped, nothing would change that fact. He had been one of the best on the team - but Steve related more to the Killers, than the Victims. He became more obsessed with the viciousness of the kills - Disturbed mother fucker. 

He got so far lost in his head, that he'd almost had a mental breakdown - he'd somehow got tied up dating, if you could call it that. Nancy Wheeler - who was a cut-throat callus bitch. Who had only gotten close to him so she could study him for her psychiatric thesis. He didn't trust anyone anymore. Trust was a dangerous thing - it had caused more wounds, and scars - he kept his walls up, now more than he'd ever done before. 

They'd had an intellectual attraction, her attracted to his mind and trying to figure him out more than anything - studying him like he was some bug under a microscope - she'd been sleeping around with their top forensics guy - Jonathan Byers, who was Jim Hoppers step-son and formerly Steve's Friend. Byer's had grown up in Woodville - so naturally Hopper had transferred Steve out there. Typical. 

Then there was Munson. Dr. Edward Munson - who was a complete walking contradiction. He was brass - loud, too much - Steve didn't like him, didn't know how to be around him. He was extremely intelligent - maybe too much so. He was a psychiatrist had been assigned to help him. Instead he'd said that Steve was mentally unstable and needed time off work. Sabotaged him - ruined him. Said he was crazy.

But he didn't fit in the BAU either. Kind of like how Steve didn't. 

Steve grew up in the South, the dirty South - in a trailer park - he didn't come from much. Didn't remember his parents - had a spotty memory. Was shipped around from Foster home to Foster home. He'd never fit, not in his skin - and not with other people.

Munson came from Money, everyone knew it - he carried himself with grace and poise and yet he didn't scream it from the rooftops. He had long hair that he kept tied back, he wore suits - he wore a mask. Steve knew he wore a mask. He knew he was hiding.

He was too polished - too perfect. They had a history - One he refused to think about. He was too much. He was hiding something. He was the strangest person that Steve had ever met. Yet everyone else seemed to like him. He made Steve uncomfortable. He made Steve uneasy. He makes you feel things you don't like.

Even Nancy the Slut Wheeler liked him. Steve sighed wearily and let the dogs out of the truck. They ran off somewhere and he went inside - he flopped down on his bed and kicked off his boots. 

He could still see the imagery in his mind, and he rest one arm over his face. Breathing out heavily. 

Steve lifted himself off the bed, and then muttered to himself as he shifted the white board from the corner of his room - he picked up the pen and started writing - losing himself in the moment, recalling everything he could - it wasn't long before the entire board was covered - a mental road map. By the time he was finished he let out a soft exhale - it was darker, and the knock on the door made him blink slowly. 

He had tugged his shirt off somewhere during his chaotic hyper-focusing. Sweat clung to his skin, and he used his shirt to wipe himself off.

Steve went to the door, avoiding eye contact as usual - he muttered darkly - "The hell are you doing here.." The rasp to his voice heavier because he needed a drink.

"Harrington - I thought there was a thing called Southern hospitality?" Eddie smirked, eyeing him - a folder in his hand. 

"Well we ain't in the south, so.." Steve snorted and then just looked past him through the screen door. "Like I said - what... are you doing here?"

"I brought the files over, Hopper said you were out here.. in the middle of nowhere." Eddie stepped closer to the door. "Are you going to let me in?"

Steve unlocked the lock on the screen door, and he headed back to his bedroom. 

Eddie followed after him, Steve said nothing - and then he sat on his bed, lighting a cigarette - he took a drag, "You can leave that shit on the table, then you can go."  He scratched at his eyebrow. 

The older man looked at him, glancing around the room, then he saw the whiteboard. 

"Hmm.. Hopper said you didn't want to consult on the case." Eddie set the files down - the slight smirk on his face made Steve wanna do something. Like smack it off. Except that would require touching him, and Steve didn't want to do that.

"I don't." He muttered. 

"And yet here you are Steven, with everything already mapped out perfectly - like you always do... clever boy as always." Eddie smiled - and Steve ignored the way his face heated up. He shrugged and then took another drag on his smoke.

"It's a shame you didn't continue to come and see me Steven, ...that you just left the way that you did." Eddie looked down as the new dog came running into the room - "...You have another dog." He made a face and Steve just snorted. 

"You can leave now." Steve shook his head - "I don't have anything left to say to you Dr. Munson." 

Eddie looked almost hurt at that. "I thought.. we might have become friends."

"You're not supposed to become friends with your patients, that's what I was... right? Your patient. I'm not anymore so you can just leave. You've dropped the files off. I haven't got anything else to say to you." Steve muttered quietly.

"Come now.. Steven. We can be nice to each other?" Eddie moved around the room, humming softly under his breath - and Steve was fidgeting - biting his lip, he didn't like it - the humming, the way he was moving around, it was making him uncomforable. "I want you to leave." He said quietly.

Steve's eyes didn't meet Eddies, almost - but not quiet - staring off to the side. 

"One day, I'll get you to look me in the eye." Eddie said quietly, just as quiet as him.

Steve just snorted softly, "Right.... good luck with that, you know I've never been able to do that - I... most of the time I can't even string a goddamn sentence together without stammering my way through it unless I've been drinking. I don't... operate in the world - I just observe it." 

"So you've been drinking again." Eddie wasn't asking a question, he tutted softly - and Steve sighed heavily.

"Fuck you." He growled.

"Language... such a foul mouthed boy you are Steven." Eddie smirked - and Steve scratched his neck. "...I have missed our conversations. Would you like to come out with me this evening?"

".....No?" Steve growled out.

"...Why not? What else are you going to do... If you don't want to go out - you could just come and eat dinner with me in my Hotel room." Eddie was looking out of the window. 

Steve didn't get this man at all. He'd ruined his career - and now he was trying to be what? Friends? 

"...Why would I want to do that?" Steve said quietly.

"Well because you are going to consult on this case... and we should talk about it." Eddie was looking all amused and pleased with himself. 

"..I never said I was going too." Steve muttered.

Eddie let out a soft laugh, "Of course you did - you did as soon as you saw Hopper." 

Steve hadn't realized how close Eddie had suddenly gotten - he breathed out sharply, as the older man looked down at him - smelling of a sweet, slightly acidic perfume - and expensive musk. "You have your whiteboard mapped out with every detail that's inside your mind Steven. You aren't saying no because we both know that you can't."

He shivered and Eddie held out a key card. "Room 1108." He let out a soft little laugh, "See you at 8'oclock Steven."

Steve breathed out sharply, his hands shaking - he looked down at the keycard - it was for some fancy place. "Course it is.." He muttered - biting his lip, he rubbed his hands over his face - the uneasy feeling in his stomach. 

Eddie's car was already pulling out the driveway and Steve walked back into his bedroom - opening the folder - he brushed his fingers over the crime scene photographs. He might have hated Jonathan Byers - but he sure knew how to take photos.

Steve picked up the photo that was of the heart - it had something that he'd missed when he first looked at it. Teeth marks - it had been bitten into. He breathed out shakily - and Steve closed his eyes, he could almost taste it in his mouth - feel the warmth of the blood as it spilled down his chin.

He breathed out harsher, dropping the photo - Steve was so hard he could barely breath. "No.." He whispered, "No.. you.. you're not going to do this again."

He got up and then went into the kitchen, fishing out the bottle of vodka from the freezer - he unscrewed the lid and took a gulp. Steve didn't want to get drunk, but he just wanted to shut it down - the urge to touch himself. The urge to touch himself and think about putting his hands inside of the body cavity. 

He breathed out harshly again - and then he let out a breathless grunt - jerking himself off right there in the kitchen, he recollected everything he'd seen - vividly, he could put himself back in that moment. 

Steve was able to touch, taste and feel it all - he could bite the heart, feel the blood drip down his chin - taste the fear, he imagined in his mind what it felt like to actually tear it out while it was still beating. "Ah fuck... fuck.."

He came hard and fast, breathless - and then he imagined Eddie -  standing with him while he did it, and Steve sank down to his knee's - letting out a shaky helpless noise. Because he didn't want to think about him. "Fuck.." He whispered.

He didn't have sexual fantasies involving other people. But - he did when it came to Dr. Munson.

Steve breathed out shakily, he didn't know how to deal with that.

Chapter Text

Steve didn't know why he was standing outside the room - why he'd gone. He shouldn't have. The key card felt like a weight in his hand, his hands that were shaking. His tongue felt like cotton wool in his mouth - he wasn't going to use it - he was going to leave, turn around and leave. Why did he give me the damn card. 

Raking his fingers through his hair - he glanced down at his watch, it was exactly one minute till eight o'clock. His stomach felt too tight, he put the key card in the door and it beeped.

He entered the room, and then shut the door - it locked again behind him and Steve let out a soft exhale. 

"So.. you decided to come then." The older man's voice was soft, he wasn't asking Steve a question. There wasn't the usual teasing amusement - Steve felt too tense, "I.. came to talk about the case." He said gruffly.

Steve turned around, eyes not on Eddie - but he was still able to see him. Years of no eye contact - meant that Steve was extremely observant of everything around him. Hyper aware of it. He missed nothing - no detail. You hadn't noticed the teeth marks in the heart at first. His eyes closed briefly and he let out a sharp exhale. He really didn't want to be thinking about that right now. 

"Yes, of course.." Eddie said with a soft little chuckle, "The case that you say you're not going to consult on." The amusement back - Steve bristled, and he glared in Eddie's direction. "I'm so glad you think you're funny Dr. Munson."

"Come now, you can call  me Eddie.. you don't have to be so formal Steven." He reached out - and then actually took Steve's arm. 

Steve pulled his arm back, "D-don't touch me." He hissed it, hackles raised - now extremely uncomfortable. 

Eddie murmured, "Sorry, I... forgot for a moment that you don't like to be touched - it's been a while, forgive me?"

Steve kept his arms in at his sides, and he debated about just leaving. 

"I... actually made dinner, I hope you don't mind?" Eddie was using his soft voice - and Steve let out a slow exhale. "I...made breakfast for dinner." 

He tried to calm himself down, his heart was beating too fast - he felt cornered by the touch. And now he didn't know what to do. 

"Sausage, eggs - bacon, toast - I made the sausage myself, brought it with me to the motel. The bacon too.." Eddie told him as he made his way into the room. 

Steve had space to breathe, and he muttered - "You made the sausage and bacon?" It smelt good, the food. 

"Yeah I did, I like to cook - amongst other things. What do you like to do - outside of... work?" Eddie poured some coffee - "Coffee? Or would you rather have juice." 

"I'd rather have bourbon, but... juice is fine." He muttered softly. Steve looked around the room, but he was really looking at the older man. Who had his hair out - it was long, curls soft and bouncy - eyes gentle and amused - he was pleased. Pleased that Steve was there. He looked different to when he was at work. Not wearing a suit - he had a black t-shirt on, his arms were muscled - his skin tanned.

Steve let out a soft exhale and Eddie said, "...Do you still want me to call you Agent Black, or... do you go by Chief?" Eddie took a sip of his coffee, and then he chuckled. The older man had a strange lilt - an accent to his voice that Steve had never really been able to place. He just knew he wasn't American. He couldn't remember where he was from originally - He had known once.

"....I don't...care." Steve said quietly. He picked up his knife and fork - eating some of the scrambled egg first - but then he cut into the sausage and ate that. It was delicious. Steve realized that Eddie was watching him, and he muttered softly - "Do I have something on my face?"

"No... I just like watching you eating my food, is it good?" Eddie asked - as he sipped his coffee. 

"Yes... its delicious, thank you." Steve said softly, he ignored the blush in his cheeks - "I.. don't really eat breakfast - but I do like breakfast for dinner." He muttered. 

Eddie actually grinned at that, "I like breakfast for dinner too - I mean.. you know its a guilty pleasure. I have a lot of dinner parties - but sometimes.. I just like this." He sounded almost sad, and Steve snorted softly.

"Yeah... they used to tell stories about your dinner parties.. in the halls of the BAU. I... don't like dinner parties - too much socializing.." He muttered. 

"...You.. don't like to socialize." It wasn't a question - and Steve said softly, "Even this is too much for me." Steve breathed out softly, and then he ate some more sausage - he added softly, "I just.. people are too noisy - they vibrate, they don't stop. I.." He shook his head.

Eddie hummed softly, and then he said - "You seem to be quite calm when you're alone with me Steven."

"Can you not call me that? Steve is fine." He growled out and Eddie was amused again. "Okay... Steve.." He dragged it out - like he was taking it for a test drive or something. Steve's face was too hot and Eddie said, "Only if you call me Eddie.."

"That would imply we're friends or something Dr. Munson." Steve lifted his gaze - just a little - and Eddie smirked, "Don't you want to be friends? I mean.. we're not technically Doctor and Patient like you said.. although .. I have missed our talks, you've very interesting to talk to Steven.. .sorry.. Steve." Eddie's voice was soft and then he said - "I like it when you smile."

Steve was smiling, which he very seldom did. "..I.. don't think I've really had a friend, I mean.. I'm not friend material." He shrugged.

Eddie was eating a mouthful, which he finished - he said with amusement, but softness - "I think we could be friends...I think you're the mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by."

Steve felt the curl of warmth in his stomach. It was a strange thing to say, but Steve knew what it meant. That if he was in trouble - Steve would be the one that could be his ally, his secret defence that wouldn't be perceived as a threat. It was an odd statement - but Steve still liked it.

He let out a soft laugh, and Eddie laughed too - "...You're not some fragile teacup Steve. I ...never wrote that in my report - it wasn't my choice for you to be taken out of the Unit." He murmured, "That was never my intention."

Steve let out a heavy exhale and then he growled softly, "Well.. it still happened though." Then he stared down at his plate. The silence didn't feel as heavy as it might have - and Eddie added, "...What's on your mind, I feel like there's something you want to say - but you're not saying it."

"The.. heart." He murmured.

Eddie looked at him - "Yes?" 

"It had been bitten into." Steve let out a soft exhale - "The killer bit into the heart. Before they displayed it.."

The older man reached into the folder that he had, "Are you sure? Nobody else mentioned that in the reports."

"Yes I'm sure - its because nobody else saw it.." Steve said softly - he didn't want to see the photo's again. His fingers curled tight against the table as Eddie said, "I don't see it - can you show me?" He pushed the photo towards Steve, and their fingers touched.

Steve breathed out sharply - and moved his hand away, Eddie's skin was warm - and the older man said, "You're cold, would you like to borrow something? A jersey?"

He didn't have time to reply, the older man got up and then he was opening his wardrobe, bring out a thick sweater he handed it to Steve.

"I'm.. not cold." He muttered, but he pulled it on anyway. It smelt like Eddie's expensive cologne. "You're fingers were like ice." Eddie replied.

Steve stood up, he moved a little closer - and then he said quietly, "Here.." He showed Eddie the teeth marks.

"...How did you see that? Nobody else even noticed.." He was studying the photos intensely and Steve just shivered - "...I.. don't know." He mumbled softly. 

Steve felt a bit dizzy, and he picked up his orange juice - downed it all in one go. "..I should probably head out."

Eddie looked at him, frowning - "Are you alright Steven."

"Steve... I told you." He muttered, "I.. I'm fine."

Eddie gently held his arm, and Steve tensed up - "I... just want to help you sit down, let me.." Eddie murmured - "I.. won't touch you anymore than just helping you to stay upright."

Steve sighed, but he let Eddie hold his arm, they sat opposite each other in the two arm chairs.

"I think I got up too fast." Steve muttered as he rubbed his hands over his face.

Eddie put an ashtray on the table between them, "You can smoke in here - its a smoking room, and... you seem quite tired, when was the last time you slept?" Eddie's strange accent made Steve shiver a little bit.

"Why do you give a shit?" He bit back, growling it - as he fished his smokes and lighter out. "... I don't know when I last slept, not a good sleeper - never really have been." His hands were shaking - and Eddie reached out - lighting it with his own lighter.

"Thanks.." Steve mumbled, watching as Eddie lit up his own smoke. "I didn't know you smoked." He licked his lips.

"Guilty pleasure.." Eddie said with a smirk. 

"....Where do you come from?" Steve asked suddenly - "...I mean you're not American obviously."

The older man took a drag on his cigarette, exhaling lazily - and Steve was staring at his hands - elegant, long fingers - he was wearing rings - Steve thought about them, doing things he didn't want to be thinking about. Covered in blood, touching him. Touching inside... No stop it. 

"Lithuania.. I was born in Lithuania." Eddie said - and Steve murmured, "Oh.." He was breathing out heavier, and then he just closed his eyes. "Are you sure you're alright?" Eddie curled his hand against Steve's wrist - and Steve yanked his hand away. 

"...Don't touch me." His voice was rough - his eyes startled, and he was breathing weird - panicked. Steve felt cornered and uncomfortable - and trapped. 

Eddie moved - and Steve was breathing harshly, it wasn't just because Eddie had touched him, it was because of what he'd been thinking about. 

"Steve.." Eddie said his name softly, and then he murmured - "You're safe, I'm not going to hurt you." 

Steve let out a strange, strangled noise from his throat - as Eddie gently, carefully touched his face - that made Steve lash out - he slapped Eddie's hands and he shifted to move - but then Eddie just curled his arms around him - his front pressed to Steve's back.

"It's alright." His voice soft an soothing against Steve's ear. "Hush now.." 

Steve wasn't just panicking, he was crying - why? He didn't know - Steve didn't remember ever crying much. If ever. 

Eddie circled his arms and he said softly, "I won't hurt you."

He whimpered, and was rigid - heart hammering in his chest - it was pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. Eddie's grip was strong - the older man curled one arm around his body - the other one slid into Steve's hair. "Hush... it's okay." Eddie murmured, "Breathe..."

He couldn't remember how, his lungs were on fire - and he clawed at his throat. Eddie gently moved his hand down - warm fingers stroked against his throat, then against his chest, soothing - "Feel my fingers, feel my breath - just relax your body Stevie.." Eddie's voice softer, the little nickname new - and Steve whimpered again - tears blurred his vision.

"I won't hurt you, you're safe here - with me. It's just us." Eddie let out a slow deep breath, and Steve did too.

"There, that's it.." Eddie murmured. 

Steve felt the gentle tap of his fingers - "Your heart is beating so fast - feel the beat of my fingers, try and match it - slow your beathing down Stevie.." Steve let his eyes flutter closed. 

"Hmm.. there you, much better.. good boy Stevie." Eddie stroked his fingers softly. 

Steve didn't know what to do with anything that was happening. He felt the shame, the embarrassment - the heat in his cheeks. He couldn't find his voice to speak. He wasn't even sure why or how this had even happened. He was a grown man - and he'd just had a complete breakdown. Because you were thinking about things you shouldn't.

Eddie said softly, "It's okay.." 

Steve let his eyes close - he actually liked this. 

The quiet crept in around them and Steve bit his lip - not sure whether he should move, or stay where he was - he let out a shaky exhale and Eddie said softly - "...Do you feel better now?" 

Steve wanted to answer - he wanted to do something. But nothing came out of his mouth - he just nodded, and Eddie gently stroked his fingers into his hair. 

"That's good.." He murmured, and Steve wondered why he was letting him stay where he was. 

Steve said hoarsely, "I...I should go."

"Do you want to go?" Eddie asked, his fingers stopped moving and Steve muttered softly, "I.... don't know?"

Eddie hummed softly, and Steve felt Eddie stroke his fingers lightly down his arm - "You.. can stay here, if you want.. you don't have to move. If this feels good." His voice soft against Steve's ear, and Steve muttered softly, "...I...uh I.. this I don't know what to do with this. You.. I.. don't know?"

He felt himself shiver, and Eddie said softly - "You don't know because you don't let anyone touch you, and this feels nice?"

"Yeah." He whispered. 

"Then if you want too, stay here, for however long - you can stay, I don't mind." Eddie said softly. "It isn't wrong to want touch Stevie." That name again - Steve bit on his bottom lip. 

"...But why do you want to touch me?" He muttered. Why do I want you to touch me. Steve felt the heat in his stomach and he said hoarsely. "I... I don't know what I'm saying anymore."

Eddie let out a soft little chuckle, "..You're tired, you're a little bit grumpy - I'm offering you comfort because you got scared, .. I don't want to hurt you. Touch.. doesn't have to be bad."

Eddie's voice was soft against his ear, "Is.. touch something you associate with being bad?"

Steve closed his eyes tightly. "I...don't know." His voice was tight. Had and edge to it. Shutting off. 

"It's okay..." Eddie said soothing, his voice all soft again - "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too.."

Steve opened his eyes and he said hoarsely, "I... need to go.." He sat up - moving away from Eddie - his face red, his hands shaking. "...I...n-need t-to.." He looked in Eddie's direction - "...Are you going to tell Jim.. Hopper are you... going to tell him I'm too fucking fragile for this bullshit?" Anger - anger he could channel that. 

"No..." Eddie said calmly. 

"...You... f-f-fucking a-a-asshole." Steve growled at Eddie - tears welled up again though, "...W-w-what the h-hell do you want from m-me.." The tremor was in his voice too,

Eddie murmured - "I want to help you free yourself from your shackles Steven." That soothing lilt made Steve close his eyes. "You're not like anyone I've ever met - you're... different." So are you. "You fascinate me.. I can't help it.. I.. want to.."

"You want to fucking get inside my head and figure me out like everyone else does." Steve spat the words out like they were venom. "I'm not a fucking lab rat.."

"No.. I.. didn't mean that.." Eddie said softly - "...I want to know you, but.. perhaps I want you to know me too."

Steve breathed out harshly, he had never had anyone say that to him before. He didn't know what to do with it. 

"I... have never really wanted anyone to know me before." Eddie murmured - "But...with you.. I.. can't help myself."

Steve breathed out shakily, and then he stood up. 

"I have...t-to g-go.." He whispered. 

He left the Hotel room without another word - Steve drove back home - shaken up inside and out - and he couldn't understand why he was feeling the way he did. The desperate feeling - the longing, the ache, he just didn't understand. He'd never felt anything like it before. It made him feel like he was starving. 

He wanted Eddie. 

Chapter Text

Steve was sitting in his small cramped off - fans going, which were doing nothing to help with the heat - he was flushed - too sweaty and in a bad mood. There was a soft knock on the door and he didn't both to lift his head, lazing in his chair - his hat tipped covering his face. 

"You doing okay Chief?' Buckley - he sighed wearily, and then removed his hat - sticking it back on top of his head. "...I been better.." His voice gruff.

She sat opposite him - lighting up a cigarette she held her pack out to him and he took one, she lit it for him - and then she said, "Ever since I seen.. that girl in the trailer I can't get it out of my head... like it's burned into my goddamn eyeballs, I... the smell - it was so vile.. like death had crawled on in there an stank the whole place up."

He noticed her hands were shaking, the rasp in her voice. "I didn't think it smelt bad." He murmured. 

Robin let out a strange noise, "...Steve, she'd been dead in the heat out in that trailer park for a while and you didn't think she stunk? It wasn't like she had the sweet smell of perfume." She looked like the was going to be sick. Steve picked up his empty trash can and handed it over. "All I could smell was the night Jasmine.." 

She looked at him funny, "How.. did you even know what the flowers were? They're still testing them the BAU." Robin raked her hands through her hair. 

"Cos it grows all over the place where I come from... where I grew up." Steve said, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Like.. if it wasn't night Jasmine it was Kudzu or a mixture of em both. I know that smell anywhere... it grows here too - out where I live, s'all wild.." He scratched at his cheek. 

"...My Daddy says if  a man can't look you in the eye he has secrets.. I.. don't think you have secrets do you Chief? Its just cos your brain is different.." Robin said softly, flicking her ash - "You're... just different cos you got.. that Asperger's thing."

"Autism, Asperger's - crazy as hell... it don't really matter Darlin' I... am what I am. I can't look nobody in the eye - ain't never been able too. The eyes.. say too much and I don't wanna see.. I see to much already." He rasped out.

She gave him a smile, "I.. don't mind, I can't much look people in the eye either. You're just, one of those quiet folk.. that's all. Plus my Daddy he drinks to much and says shit - runs his mouth off, and.. you know.. he can be a bully."

Steve said lazily, "Mhm.. I don't remember my Daddy... I remember plenty of em foster Daddy's sure liked to wail on me and... all kinds of things.. call me a retard." He shrugged - "It doesn't matter. And why are we even talking about this? I don't ... did they send a request for me to go to the BAU... they did - you're trying to soften the blow by being nice to me." He shook his head, "I don't wanna go... maybe you can go for me."

Robin let out a soft little laugh, "No.. that.. Doctor.." She was rifling through the papers. "Dr. Munson? He's going to be stationed here for a little bit - so he left a message, said he was coming by later.." 

Steve sighed and then muttered, "...I am going home. I don't want to talk to him - unless something incredibly important that needs my dire attention comes up? Don't call me alright.." He looked at her - well the closest thing. "...You're a sweet girl Robin, if your Daddy ever gives you.. any trouble - you just.. let me know alright?"

She blushed and then she said softly, "Thank you Steve. I.. know you are always looking out for me." He nodded and tipped his hat, "It's cos you're the closest thing I have to a friend.. I actually don't feel distressed in your company.."

Robin's whole face lit up and she said, "Really? I.. I like that, I feel that way with you too. Do you wanna come over for supper on Sunday? After church?"

Steve nodded, "Alright, I can do that.." He scratched his neck, "You asking Miss Vicky over too?"

She got all flustered and then said softly, "...Steve.."

He gave her a small smirk - "Just wonderin.. because you know..." Robin covered her face and she said - "I ... feel so bad, I.. shouldn't...right?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know... I mean, I'm not an expert on.. you know.. things - but.. If you want her to come I don't mind - she's another person I don't mind being around.. I know why you like her."

Robin fist bumped the air and Steve let out a soft, very rare laugh - doing it too. "Turn your walkie off Chief." She added softly, "Try and get some rest..."

Steve nodded, "Alright."

***

The night air was probably only a little bit cooler than it had been during the day - Thatch had shown up with another three dogs in tow. So now Steve had a total of five dogs. His lady friend and three other new males. "What are you adopting yourself a whole damn pack?" 

He asked, his voice raw - Thatch just wagged his tail - and Steve smirked, "You know its a good thing that I love you, otherwise I'd take you and your friends to the shelter myself... you little shit." He scratched behind his ears, "Go on now.. get.."

Steve was swinging in his porch swing - drinking whiskey straight from the bottle - he had a pitcher of ice, and a pack of cigarettes - the lazy sounds of some scratchy blues playing in the background. No vocals - just the instruments. Steve had a cigarette hanging from his lip - and he was polishing his bowie knife. In front of him on the table - he had a various collection of weapons. 

He was barefoot - hair hanging in his face, at the other end of his porch he'd strung up the deer he'd killed - he tilted his head a little - seeing the car coming up his driveway. Steve let out a soft, "Shit." And took a drag on his cigarette. 

Eddie got out the car, but he wasn't alone. Both Hopper and Nancy climbed out as well - they made their way up onto the porch - and Steve said, "Somethin I can help you with?" 

He didn't look at any of them, he didn't offer them a seat - or a drink, Eddie was the closest to him - he kicked out a chair. 

"Thank you Stevie." Eddie said with a smirk. Steve just let out a soft little grunt in reply.

"I've come to beg you to come and work on this case... beg you Harrington - and I don't fucking beg." Hopper sighed - sitting on the end of the two seater sofa. Nancy just stayed on the stairs - weary, watching but not watching. 

"And I already told you I ain't doing it... so.. you're wasting your time." Steve took a swig of his whiskey - deliberately, and then snorted - "I mean why would you want a headcase with  a drinking problem working on this case?" He asked.

"Jesus Christ Harrington - I need your help." Jim growled back. 

"What happened to Munson and Wheeler being the best that you've got?" Steve let out a laugh - and then took another swig. "Oh.. Wheeler too busy spreading her legs for everything that wants to poke their dick in it?" 

"Fuck you Harrington." Nancy glared at him.

"No sorry Darlin' - I wouldn't wanna touch that if it were the last pussy on earth." Steve said with a snort.

"You didn't want to touch me anyway - why do you think I had to look else where." She bit back. 

"This is not the place to discuss your personal matters - I just want you back on the job, please Steve." Jim was resorting to being nice. That was a new one. 

Nancy scoffed and went back to the car and Steve called out after her, "You were only ever interested in fucking getting in my head you bitch." 

"Steven.." Eddie said softly, but he was amused at the same time.

"Oh don't you start - you're just as bad as everyone else.. wanting to get to know me, don't fucking lie to me." Steve growled at him. 

He went back to cleaning his knife, aware of the fact that Eddie was watching him - he could feel him doing it. 

"I'll ... think about it." He growled at Jim - "But... I can't come there every day - all day, I actually have shit to do here in Woodville." Hopper said, "We can set you up with everything you need here - and you can keep in touch with us at the BAU through a computer - telephone, ... Edward has agreed to stay here - to work with you, and well ... Agent Wheeler's fiancée lives here - so she's going to stay in town too."

Fiancée. Steve snorted, "They'll be divorced by the end of the year.." He said darkly.

It was both Jim and Eddie that started laughing. Steve smirked - "You know I'm right... I think I should talk to Byers... tell him to get out while he still can."

"Did you ever.. have anything intimate with her?" Eddie asked, and Steve just stayed silent.

"I think that's my cue to leave - can you give Edward a ride back to his Hotel room later?" Jim asked - Steve muttered, "Sure... I'll just chauffer him where ever he'd like to go shall I?"

Jim snorted softly, "I forgot how much I missed your sunny disposition." Sarcastic as ever.

Steve gave him the finger - and Jim laughed, "Good to see you kid - I'll call you tomorrow - we have some more forensic stuff it should be ready by then."

Once it was just the two of them, Steve growled at Eddie - "I don't like being touched, why the hell would I have had anything intimate with her? It was never like that - it was.. an attraction to her mind - her for me too.. but then it just became a sharp realization that she wasn't really interested in that either.. she just thought I was someone to study - to fucking figure out. And I discovered the her personality was a controlling manipulative bitch." His voice was gritty and raw and he took another swig of his drink.

"Most women are fucking lying bitches. They just want to manipulate you with their pussy." He lit another smoke and took a drag - Steve took another drag of whiskey and then set the bottle down - moving onto cleaning his next knife. 

"...Women are attracted to you, but.. you're not attracted to them?" Eddie asked - he stole one of Steve's cigarettes, "... I'm not attracted to anyone." He said bluntly. Liar. "...I.. don't think about.. that shit." He was tense and uncomfortable and Eddie said softly, "Why not?"

"Jesus Christ." Steve growled, "Because I just don't."  He breathed out sharply and the older man smirked a little bit - "Maybe you need too, let out some of your...aggression." Steve muttered, "I don't have any aggression.." Eddie laughed at that, and Steve shot a glare in his direction - his jaw twitching. "...You're an attractive guy, I'm sure you could find someone.." Eddie murmured - taking a drag on his smoke.

"Like I said - I'm not interested. Besides.. it don't work.. so.. fuck.. shut the hell up." Steve growled.

"It doesn't work? What doesn't work?" Eddie picked up the bottle of whiskey, and then took a swig. Steve muttered - "...My cock don't work." His hands were shaking so he threw the knife he was cleaning on the table. Stretching out he muttered - "...I don't know why I tell you this shit, ... I hate talking, and I sure as fuck don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't trust you... I don't even like you."

Eddie licked his lips, and then held the whiskey bottle out to him. Steve took it and muttered - "Stupid.. fucker."

He took a swig, and Eddie said with a smirk - "...I think you're lying. You do like me.. same as I like you. And you were wrong... I do want to get to know you.. I wasn't lying." His voice was soft and Steve snorted - his voice lazy and soft, "...You're dreamin, I don't like you - you arrogant asshole. You just convinced yourself that I do because you're all... obsessed with me or somethin... hell I don't even know - but you're weird... an.. an fucking strange... and I don't like you."

Steve waved his hand and then got up, swaying a little bit - he held one hand over one eye. "Shit... I'm a lil bit drunk, but I'm hungry - you hungry Doc? I'll cook you somethin.." He knocked his foot against Eddie's shiny shoe. "Your shoes are stupid.." He muttered, heading into the house.

Eddie laughed softly - "Does that help you to see better? Covering up one eye." He was amused, and Steve gave him a lazy smile - "Yeah... kinda? Shut up.. It does help.. a lil bit.. I swear.. been drinkin most of the damn day.. so.."  Steve went into the kitchen, with Eddie following behind him. 

Eddie sat at the counter on one of the barstools - taking off his coat, and rolling up his sleeves. "I could help?" He asked. 

Steve narrowed his eyes, and said - "Uh no? You just sit your ass down and hush.. I'm doing the cookin in my own damn kitchen.." He huffed and then opened the fridge. Eddie let out a soft laugh, and Steve muttered, "Damn interfering.. sonofabitch." He pulled out some bits and pieces and then got to work - "...So what are we having?" Eddie asked, and Steve looked his way - "Beignets.. you ever had em?"

"No.. I can't say I have - what are they?" The older man was resting his chin on his hand.

Steve snorted, "Only the most delicious thing you've not ever eaten you heathen... don't worry - I have a secret recipe, I learned it when I was living in New Orleans.. It's the best.. but I'll make it for you." He said as he started making them. "We're gonna have.. breakfast for dinner again.." He smirked and drawled lazily, "Cept well you can eat em all day.. but.. whatever.."

Eddie laughed softly, "You're a lot more.. relaxed, happy.. right now." He murmured.

"Mhmm.. yeah.. I guess so." Steve said softly - but then he yelled out the window - "You damn sonofabitch Thatch! I gone and told you not to be stealin no goddamn chickens you .. bastard." He stalked out of the kitchen - fast - and with anger - and Eddie, followed after him - "You goddamn mongrel!"

Steve had lost his temper - grabbing the chicken from his dog - he grabbed Thatch by the scruff of his neck. "How many times do I have to tell you boy! No stealing and killin chickens!" He took Thatch over to the small shed, and then tied him up - "You're gonna stay there!" He yelled at him, "Your goddamn lucky I don't break your ass whooping you!" 

The dog whimpered and cowered in the corner - and Steve just slammed the door - he swore at the bloody, half-dead chicken - "Jesus!" He yelled, "They gonna think that you are feral!" He yelled - kicking the door to the shed, "...Stupid fucking mongrel, you're stupid!"

Eddie was standing on the porch, and Steve was crying again, he snapped head off the chicken - and then threw it away - and then stormed back into the house - throwing the rest of the chicken in the sink an scrubbing the blood off his hands as he muttered.

Eddie sat back down, staying quiet - and then Steve muttered, "Goddamn mongrel. I should shoot that sonofabitch in the head." 

The older man said calmly, "I'm sure he didn't mean to take the chicken?"

Steve sniffled, "Nah.. he does it on purpose - he thinks its the only way he is going to get food. I feed em - everyday. But he's still wild, still... thinks he has to hunt - has to... find food for himself cos nobody gives  a shit about him."

"...Did you have to do that too?" Eddie asked quietly. 

Steve breathed out harshly, "The fuck do you know about what I had to do, or didn't have to do. Fuck you Edward." His jaw twitching, his body tight.

"I just.. it was just a question. I.." Eddie went silent.

"I'm sick of your goddamn questions. You ask too many fucking questions - you never talk about yourself though  - you always want to know about me. I'm really not that fucking interesting." He growled out - going back to making the Beignets.

"...Well what do you want to know?" Eddie murmured, "...Ask me whatever you want."

Steve breathed out slowly, "...You said you came here from Lithuania? When did you come?"

"Oh.. uh.. yeah, I came here when I was nineteen years old - so.. I've lived here for about sixteen years?" Eddie shifted, playing with the rings on his fingers. "...Why'd you come here?" Steve asked.

"I wanted.. to see America? I've travelled a lot, had never been here - so.." Eddie said quietly, "After my sister died, I decided to come - she always wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

Steve rubbed his hands over his face, "Your sister died?" He asked, going to the fridge - he pulled out  a couple of beers, offering one to Eddie - who smiled and then said softly, "Yeah.. Mischa, she died. We were.. prisoners in a German camp. Small one."

Steve frowned and murmured, "That... I.. I'm sorry."  They were both quiet, and Steve bit his lip. "Are.. you Jewish?"

"Well no - but my parent's helped them, they were in the resistance, we were rounded up and sent to a camp - my parents never made it out. I'm the only one that did." Eddie sipped his beer, and he said quietly, "Last of my family."

Steve stared at his beer, "...To being the last of our family." He held his bottle out the they clinked them together.

"You too?" Eddie asked.

"Well pretty sure, I mean.. my parents  are both dead - so.. yeah.... I don't... remember everything - but yeah.. just me. No great lineage of anything." Steve muttered darkly - "Just a fuck up nutjob with not much to offer." 

"You shouldn't talk about yourself that way.. you have plenty to offer." Eddie said softly, "You just... see the world and operate differently. It doesn't mean you have nothing to contribute."

Steve could feel the heat in his face, "...Uh-huh. Whatever you say Doc." He snorted and rolled his eyes.

Eddie laughed and then he said, "You're a little shit."

Steve snorted, "Who are you calling little, old man.." 

That made Eddie smirk and he murmured - "Cheeky, I'll throw you over my knee and spank you.." 

They both went quiet, and Steve said quietly, "I'd like to see you try that.." He checked on the Beignets, flicking them out - and adding more into the oil. He let out a soft laugh, and Eddie smirked - "...You're not that much older than me.." Steve said softly.

"Old enough..." Eddie said - "Besides, you're the youngest person to work for the BAU - minus ..Agent Wheeler but then she wasn't qualified to work in the field like you - she was in psychiatry."

"Yeah I'm aware that she was your prodigy, Doctor Munson. You don't need to remind me... tell me something - was she spying on me.. for you?" Steve breathed out slightly heavier, and Eddie murmured - "No..."

"I don't believe you." Steve growled back, "You ... were her Professor at Harvard - did you send her after me to ... target me to find out information?" 

Eddie raked his fingers through his hair, his voice not giving away any emotion - "You're being paranoid and ridiculous right now Steven." 

Steve suddenly slammed Eddie off the chair and pinned him to the wall, "Am I? Am I really being paranoid and ridiculous Edward, or maybe I'm not..." He breathed out slowly, gripping Eddie's throat. "Why are you so interested in me? What is the fascination?"

Eddie's head tilted - just so - and their gazes met. 

Steve flicked his away - and Eddie curled his fingers around Steve's hand. Eddie murmured,  "...Let go of me and I'll tell you.." He stroked his fingers feather light up the inside of Steve's arm and Steve breathed out sharply and then let go. 

Eddie pushed himself away from the wall and then he looked down at him. "Such passion.." He gently gripped Steve's chin and Steve backed up - realizing that he'd touched Eddie first, and he muttered, "I... " Eddie let out a soft laugh - "You what.. hmm?" He tutted softly, "You get so angry so fast... you need to reign that in - control your anger, it makes you reckless."

Steve frowned, his voice raspy "Reign it in? I.. don't even express myself most of the time.." 

The older man suddenly curled his fingers into Steve's hair and he whispered against his mouth, "Oh... I know, you keep it all bottled up inside you until it explodes out - like when you got angry at your poor dog. He's a dog, he doesn't understand - he just wants to rip and tear his teeth into that chicken, because he's wild and he wants to taste its blood."

Steve shivered and he whispered, "He is.. he's feral.."

Eddie murmured, "Yes.. he is feral and wild - and beautiful.. he's very dangerous, isn't he?" He gently stroked his fingers - brushing Steve's hair out of his eyes. "Wounded, lost - and hungry."

Steve let his eyes close, and Eddie whispered - "You like it when I touch you." 

He could feel Eddie's breath on his face, and Steve just let out a shaky one of his own. "...Is that why you slammed me against the wall just now - hmm? thought you'd frighten me, .. scare me away?" Eddie murmured.

Steve opened his eyes, and he nodded yes. 

"You don't scare me, not.. even a little...do you know why?" Eddie asked softly.

"No.." Steve whispered, and Eddie smiled - a soft little smile as he gently shifted Steve's face. 

"Because you're the same as me.." Eddie whispered.

Steve breathed out softly, Eddie was so close - that he could smell that expensive cologne he was wearing - Eddie placed a soft kiss against Steve's top lip, and then he stepped back and let go.

His heart was pounding in his chest, erratic - like a bird trapped in a cage. Steve could feel the heat in his face, nobody had ever done such a thing. Kissed him - Steve stammered, "The s-same? I..d-dont t-t-think w-w-were... t-the s-same." He frowned and then curled his arm around himself. Going back to the stove he finished cooking - dusting the first batch of Beignets with powdered sugar.

"We are.. you'll know what I mean... the more we get to know each other, that's.. if you still want to be friends." Eddie said quietly.

Steve nearly dropped them - and Eddie took the plate, he said softly - "Do you want to be friends Stevie?"

Steve felt like he couldn't breathe, he just muttered - "S-sure."

Eddie grinned, and then he said, "Good... I.. I'm happy that you do.." 

Then he took the plate and sat back down - "These look good, how do you eat them.." Eddie asked.

"You just tear into it.." Steve's voice was all rough and breathless - and he sat opposite Eddie, and then tore one apart - stuffing it into his mouth, getting sugar all over his face and fingers. 

"...Messy." Eddie said with a smirk. 

Steve licked his lips, keeping his eyes down - but he muttered - "Only way to eat em.. not fancy dinner party food.." 

Eddie let out a soft laugh, "How.. do you know? Have you been to a dinner party pretty Boy?"

Steve stayed quiet, and then Eddie leaned forward - eating the other piece of Steve's beignet from his fingers. Steve felt his stomach get all hot - and his cock get hard - Eddie, smirked and then he said huskily, "Definitely sweet." Steve's eyes closed as Eddie licked his own lips. Then he pulled another Beignet off the plate and tore into it himself. 

Eddie said with a little smile, "...Would you like to come to a dinner party? If.. it was just the two of us?"

"How.. would that be a dinner party?" Steve muttered.

"Well... a party of two." Eddie was licking his fingers and Steve just stayed quiet - pretending he was looking in the space behind him. 

"You still with me Stevie?" Eddie's voice soft, but teasing - and he held out the other half of his Beignet - "Want to eat it?" 

Steve blinked slowly, his eyes closing briefly and then he muttered - "Huh?"

Eddie let out a soft laugh, and Steve's blush deepened - Eddie murmured, "You are.. very pretty." 

"Shit.. no m'not.. shut up Eddie." Steve rubbed his hands over his face - and Eddie grinned - "That's the first time you've called me Eddie, I think we're making progress."

Steve leaned forward and took a bite of the Beignet. "Don't speak too soon.." He growled softly and Eddie just smirked. "I'll take my wins when I can get them pretty Boy."

He licked his lips, and Eddie said softly - "..So, dinner party for two?"

Steve scratched his cheek, "...Do you want me to get all fancy?" He muttered.

Eddie let out a soft laugh, he asked - "What do you mean?" 

Steve frowned, "I mean... do you want me to get all dressed up and fancy - like.. you, to go to your dinner party for two?" He said with a snort. "Or... can I just show up like I.. am. And where is this.. dinner party? You can't have it in your hotel room." He scratched his throat a little and then raised an eyebrow.

"I live closer to the BAU, you know that - its not that far away, my house.. it would be there.." Eddie was still laughing, and then he said softly - "And no.. you don't have to get all fancy but.. I don't mind if you do want too as well.. I'd be curious to see what you looked like." His eyes were all amused - and Steve quickly lowered his gaze, before Eddie caught him looking at him. 

"...I.. don't own anything fancy, so.. you'll get what you get." He muttered - but a little smile was on his face too. "...I'd probably look ridiculous. So.. don't get your hopes up." 

Eddie smirked, "I don't think you would at all, ...you're selling yourself short. Besides.. I don't mind if you show up in your jeans and a Henley... those Jeans are very nice." His voice was all rumbly and Steve was blushing again. 

"..Uh.. okay." He mumbled, and Eddie said softly - "Okay.. I won't.. tease." He let out a soft little laugh, "You.. are very pretty when you blush though."

"Pretty?" Steve growled softly, "... Hush - I'm not pretty." He could feel the heat in his face even more and he just buried his face in his hands. "I don't even know what you're doing - this.. ain't right or fair." He muttered softly, feeling weird.. his stomach was all in knots.

"Yes, very pretty - and.. I'm just giving you a compliment - you don't get compliments?" Eddie murmured, "You must... surely."

"Not.. really, and.. not from.. other..." Steve breathed out slowly.

Eddie said softly, "Not from other men." 

Steve just nodded, and he said quietly, "I ain't... a queer." His cock was twitching in his pants, his gut was too hot - I think you're a lying sack of shit is what you are. You're a sick twisted pervert that wants his pretty fingers all over you. 

Steve breathed out slightly heavier. His jaw got all tight and Eddie got quiet. Watching him quietly.

"I.. I'm sorry if.. I. made you uncomfortable." Eddie's voice was soft and he stepped back. "I.. didn't want too. Really."

Steve let out a soft breath, "I.. just.. I'm not.. like that. So.." He curled his arm around his body. "Don't... say.. stuff like that.. we.. we can be friends but I ain't a fucking queer." His words sharp - had bite. 

Eddie murmured, "Okay. Friends - I.. won't.." He pushed himself up from his seat, "I.. can call a cab to come and get me.." He said quietly, "Can I use your telephone?"

Steve shifted and he slid out of his chair, "I.. can still drive you." He got panicked, unsure of himself - and started to stutter. "I d-don't m-mind n-none.."

Eddie said softly, "I don't want you to drive me home this late, and then have to drive all the way back.. you've been drinking it's... late."

Steve stammered out, "T-then s-stay h-here, I c-can.. t-take y-you b-back... t-t-to-row." He couldn't even get the last word out, Eddie said quietly - "You... want me to stay here?"

He breathed out harshly, and then shrugged. Staring down at the floor. 

"I'm sorry if I made this weird." Eddie said quietly. "I... can stay if you want me too. Or I can leave. I just.."

Steve breathed out in a rush and then he muttered - "You.. can sleep in the spare room - it's.. got a comfortable bed. It's nice.." He sat back down and then grabbed another beignet - stuffing it in his mouth, and chewing - sending powdered sugar all over the place. 

Eddie let out a soft little laugh, "Okay.. hmm.. Stevie." He murmured and helped himself to another one as well. " Steve said softly, "Okay.. good Eddie."

He sucked the sugar off his fingers, and then took a swig of beer - "...You have sugar everywhere you know." Eddie said with a laugh. 

Steve huffed softly, "S'all the whole reason for eatin them... the sugar..." His voice was all soft and then he said softer, "Nobody has ever said I was pretty."

Eddie smiled, a soft little smile - and he murmured, "...Well.. they might not have, but.. it is true." He ate another Beignet and Steve scratched his stomach - Eddie chuckled and said "I officially think these are delicious too by the way."

Steve smiled, a lazy soft smile - "Mhmm.. I like sweet things the best.."

Eddie said softly, "Good to know - for the dinner party.."

Steve set his beer bottle down on the counter and then he said - "I'm.. kind of tired... I'll show you where you gonna sleep okay?" 

The older man said with a chuckle, "Yeah... okay.." Steve nodded, and then he muttered - "Okay... come.. this way then." He led Eddie through the house, and down the hallway - "That's me in there." He gave the door a kick with his foot, and then he paused - "You're.. in there.." Motioning to the room right next door. 

The two of them were standing close - not touching, but close enough that they almost could. Eddie said softly - "So.. are you going to sleep?"

"Dunno...maybe.. m'drunk enough to fall asleep.." Steve muttered.

Eddie said softly, "Do you want me to clean up the kitchen for you?"

"Naw... you ain't gotta do that - you're not my damn maid Eddie.." Steve said soft - his voice a little raspy and then he whispered, "I ain't queer.." 

"I... know, you said that already." Eddie murmured. 

"Are you?" Steve whispered - like he was scared someone else was going to hear them. 

The silence was heavy, but the house was speaking around them - the floorboards creaking. The walls shifting - the light breeze blowing through the cracks in the windows and ruffling the curtains. Steve could feel the buzz in the air - the shifting pull of the energy between them. Eddie let out a soft little exhale, and then he murmured - "Goodnight Stevie, have.. sweet dreams."

Steve watched him slip into the bedroom. Shutting the door quietly. His heart beating fast again in his chest. Like a bird trying to get out of its cage. Steve felt sick in the stomach. Why'd you ask him that you pervert - he probably hates you now. Won't wanna be friends with you anymore. Knows you're disgusting. 

He went into his bedroom and shut the door - breathing out heavily. Steve sat on his bed and took the knife out from under his pillow. He pushed his jeans down his hips and let out a hiss as he cut into the skin of his thigh.

The pain was sharp, blistering for a brief moment - and then it was over. He did it again and let out a soft exhale. He laid back against his bed and then kicked his jeans off all the way - laying on his stomach in the dark. 

Chapter Text

He woke up sometime before the sun was due to come up - the early morning chorus for the day was already beginning. The air was crisp - cool, but it was a promise of something that wouldn't come. It never stayed cool. It would be hotter than Satan's armpit before lunchtime. 

Steve let out a soft groan - his head felt too heavy, and his mouth felt like cotton wool - "Aw shit.." He rasped - his pants on the floor - he scratched his ass cheek and then reached down - tugging them on but not doing them up. 

Steve raked his fingers through his hair - and rubbed his hands over his face. He knew he probably could do with a shave - but he felt too lazy to do that, his head hurt - "Goddamn.." He rasped, and then reached for his cigarettes - but he hadn't brought them with him. "Well shit.." 

He hauled himself up, and then sniffed at his armpits - "That just ain't right.." He muttered darkly - and then headed for the bathroom across the hall. Steve pulled his shirt off - and his pants - throwing them in the laundry hamper then he turned the shower on and climbed in. 

He didn't wait for the water to heat up, hot water was a luxury - and he didn't really give a shit about that. Cold meant he'd wake up faster anyway. He tipped his head back, and then grabbed his shampoo. 

It was nothing fancy - just some generic apple smelling stuff that got the job done - he rinsed it out and then scrubbed himself clean. His body was littered with scars - he couldn't really remember how he got most of them. 

He let the hot water wash over him a little - and then he turned it off, climbing out - he wrapped a towel around his waist and then roughly dried his hair, it was sticking up all over the place - he snorted at his reflection - threw the towel in the laundry hamper and then headed for the kitchen. 

Steve was in the fridge, pulling out the orange juice and drinking from the bottle - 

"Good morning Stevie.." Eddie's voice - he nearly leapt six feet in the air. 

"Jesus fucking Christ!" He growled out - clutching the towel at his waist - wide eyed - "I...fucking forgot you were here." He rasped. His heart hammering in his chest again. 

Eddie let out a soft laugh, his hair was out - and he raised an eyebrow - "Sorry.. I didn't mean to startle you." He was staring - and Steve cleared his throat - putting the juice back in the fridge.

"Uh.. yeah.. okay." He said gruffly - wondering where the hell his cigarette's were. He was looking for them - the older man said, "Would you like me to make you breakfast for breakfast?" Amused, and Steve growled softly, "No... I'm good."

He looked out the kitchen window - Thatch was still tied up and looking miserable. Steve rubbed his fingers over his face - feeling the stubble, but he sighed wearily and then muttered - "Damn dog.. be the death of me.."

He headed outside, and then untied him. "C'mon.." Thatch just cowered and Steve knelt down - "I'm sorry.. do you forgive me for being an asshole?"

Thatch just looked at him, whining softly - and Steve lowered his head and then held out his hand - the dog lifted his paw and Steve shook it. "C'mon.. I'll cut up the damn chicken you sonofabitch." He held onto his towel, and Thatch wagged his tail. 

He spotted his cigarette's on the table with his knives. Steve let out a soft grunt and picked them up, he placed one between his lips - lighting it up and looking in Eddie's direction as he came back into the kitchen.

"...Are you obsessed with cookin or somethin?" He muttered - and Eddie chuckled, "Well kind of, at one time I was going to be a Chef.'

"Yeah? One of them fancy ones that makes them tiny little portions?" Steve actually smirked at that - "I bet you were.." He let out a soft little chuckle - and then he put the coffee on - grabbing the chicken out the sink.

Thatch was looking between the two of them and Steve said, "Shit don't look at me - if you got something to say... talk to him. I'm getting your breakfast for you... damn chicken killer." He slapped it down on his butchers block, grabbed his cleaver and started hacking it up.

Thatch just looked at Eddie - his strange eyes assessing, and then he padded over and laid down with his head on Eddie's bare feet. 

"Oh.. hello." Eddie's voice was surprised - and Steve snickered, "Seems he likes you... he's actually genuinely feral you know - most times he just likes to snarl and try and bite people. You must be a bit feral too. He likes his kin folk." 

Eddie smiled a soft little smile, "Where did you get him?" He asked.

Steve snorted, "Get him? Shit.. I didn't get him... he got me - just showed up one day, all skinny and mangy - never left." He pushed the chicken pieces and the other bits and bobs into the big silver bowl - "He brought his friends too.. ain't that right Thatch.. or should I just start callin you killer?" 

The dog wagged his tail, and Steve said - "Alright then." He gave a sharp whistle - and Thatch leapt up - following Steve to the side door. "You wanna eat it here huh - don't wanna share." He fed him a piece from his fingers, and patted behind his ears - "I'm sorry bout last night, you're not a bad boy really."

Thatch ate the chicken - then he propped himself up - paws on Steve's shoulders as he licked his face. Steve smiled, and then let out a soft laugh - "Uhuh.. sure you don't.." He tipped the rest of the chicken on the side porch and then shut the door.

"You talk to him like he talks to you." Eddie said, the amusement back in his voice.

"Well how do you know that he don't?" Steve murmured, "We have proper conversations me and him.. I'll have you know Mr. Fancy Pants. Speakin of pants... I need to get dressed." Steve muttered and then he walked out.

He came back only a few minutes later, a fresh pair of jeans and a white shirt that he hadn't buttoned up yet. He poured them both some coffee - "How do you have it?" He asked Eddie, who was just watching him. 

"Oh.. I don't really drink it." He said quietly.

"You don't drink coffee.." Steve said blandly. "...Okay. Well I'll drink them both then. What do you drink?"

Eddie said, "I'll try it?" 

Steve snorted softly, "You wanna drink it because you think you're being rude." It wasn't a question - but the older man said - "Well I don't like being rude. It's bad manners."

He eyed the older man, side eye - and then muttered softly, "You must think I'm the rudest person you ever met then huh."

Eddie laughed softly, "A little rough around the edges, but... with you I don't mind so much." 

Steve moved closer, and then he put the mug down in front of him. "Want sugar? Creamer - I just have mine black..." 

"No sugar in your coffee?" Eddie was teasing him again and Steve shook his head, "Naw... I like it bitter, I'm used to it - the coffee aint the same as what I grew up with though.. that had chiccory - now that was coffee..." He sat down and Eddie said quietly, "Where did you grow up?"

Steve licked his lips, "Georgia, all over the state - New Orleans.. Bayou - swamp country.." He sipped his coffee. "I'm surprised you don't know that already... must have snooped through my files when they dumped me on you."

"They didn't have a dossier on you Steven." Eddie stretched a little and he smiled - "I mean when we had our sessions together it was just.. to assess how you were coping with the job. I wasn't doing an evaluation on your entire life." 

Steve smacked his tongue against his teeth, "If you say so - that aint what Hopper told me." He reached down and started buttoning up his shirt. "He said you wrote a comprehensive evaluation on my ability to process and deal with trauma." He narrowed his eyes, "So don't sit there and lie to me."

Eddie shifted in his seat, leaning in a little - "Why do you care what I think?"

"I don't. I just don't like when someone lies to me. I might talk like I'm stupid - but I ain't." He lifted his gaze a little. 

"Oh I don't think you're stupid, not at all. I think you're quite the opposite. I think you're a very clever creature." Eddie smirked - "...I told you, you're the mongoose under the house."

Steve let out a soft little laugh and he murmured, "The threat nobody sees comin huh."

"Indeed." Eddie smiled, "...You heard that saying, its the quiet ones you have to watch out for?"

Steve shook his head, "Naw.. can't say that I have.." He was looking at the rings on Eddie's fingers again - the older man realized it and he took one off and placed it on the table in front of Steve. "Try it on if you want." 

He stared at it, and then he picked it up - it was a bit big - but he put it on his index finger. "...You can keep it." Eddie told him - amused and Steve muttered softly, "Well fine then."

They sat there quietly, and then Steve said - "If you're hungry you can make something to eat - I just... don't eat breakfast." He pinched the bridge of his nose - and then jumped when the phone started to ring. "Jesus Christ.." He growled and then slid out of his chair.

"Hello." He muttered - Robin said cheerfully - "Hiya Chief, just letting you know that the forensics are in - did you get some sleep?"

"Yeah Darlin' I got some sleep - lil bit yeah." He scratched at his cheek. "We'll be there soon, what time am I supposed to be coming over for dinner later?" Robin said - "Oh straight after church? I have your favourite - a pot roast with all the trimmings, bring the Doctor too if you want. We don't want him to be all on his lonesome." 

Steve snorted softly, his voice gravelly as he said - "Well alright then, sounds delicious - I'll see you later Darlin'." Robin said softly, "See you later Chief." 

He hung up the phone, and then sighed wearily. "So... do you wanna come to dinner at Robin's with me - we're having a pot roast." He asked - and sat back down.

Eddie seemed a bit tense - "Yes, that would be nice, thank you. Where do I need to go?"

"I'll swing by and pick you up - unless you wanna come to church with us too?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow - Eddie let out a soft laugh - "Oh.. I'm not really the church going type.." He scratched at his cheek, and Steve smirked - "Maybe you need to be." His voice soft and Eddie let out a soft little chuckle.

"I'll come pick you up at eleven thirty. I won't subject you to the house of the Lord - in case you think you are gonna burn it down if you step foot inside it.." Steve let out a soft snort - "It's common practice around here - you go, even if you don't always believe.. its just somethin you do." He shrugged, "It's ingrained in you."

Eddie smiled, one of his soft little smiles - "So... do you believe? in God."

Steve shrugged, "I don't really know..." He lifted his gaze - "I seen more of the Devil's work than anything else... so.." 

They both sat there quiet - and the Steve rubbed his hands over his face - "I'll finish getting ready and then we'll go.." 

Eddie murmured, "Alright Stevie." Steve let out a soft breath, and then he leaned in closer - "No... I don't believe anymore." He saw Eddie smirk, and he murmured - "But you already knew that when you asked."

The older man let out a soft laugh and Steve said, "Mhmm.. you ain't the only one that can figure things out Fancy pants." 

He left the room and went to his bedroom - getting his boots on - and then combing his hair as best as he could. It still fell into his face - and Steve just sighed. 

***

By the time church was over - Steve had a splitting headache, and he was too hot - and he was in a bad mood. He pulled up outside the Hotel and Eddie was already waiting - dressed casually, in tight black jeans and a black shirt. He looked as fresh as a daisy - he climbed in beside him and gave Steve a smile. "Hello Steven. I hope your friend likes red wine." He held up a bottle. 

"Steve... and I don't know - you'll have to wait an see." His voice was raspy and Eddie said, "You don't drink red wine with your friend?" 

"Well no not really, she's my Deputy. I don't think her Daddy would appreciate me getting her drunk on wine and that kind of thing." He said with a frown. 

Eddie let out a soft little laugh, "Oh.. sorry I thought maybe she was.. someone special. You referred to her as darling."  He put his seatbelt on and Steve smirked. 

"Oh.. no.. just a habit, she's more like my little sister - if I had of had a sister... or the closest thing I've had to a friend. She's a good girl, sweet." Steve said softly - "She's bout the only person in this god forsaken town that I actually like - plus.. shes uh.. kinda sweet on .. well.. she's.."  

Steve could feel the heat in his face. "She.. has a girl she likes, but.. she isn't exactly screaming it for the whole world to know. I think... her folks think she's sweet on me.. I don't mind.. just.. I ain't getting a reputation for getting her drunk."

"No.. no we don't want you getting a bad reputation." Eddie smiled, but he was amused - and Steve narrowed his eyes, "She's not a whore. I don't want people thinking that she is." He growled.

"You seem to have an issue with woman that are... slutty." Eddie said with a smirk.

"I have an issue with most people, have you not picked up on that yet Doctor?" Steve said dryly.  That made Eddie laugh and he said, "No.. hadn't picked up on that at all."

Steve let out a soft laugh and he shrugged, "...She's a good girl, gets a hard time from her Daddy, I just.. keep an eye out for her. That's all - it ain't nothing dirty or.. weird going on." He was blushing again and he started up the car. "She lives on her own now, so.. sometimes she gets a little jittery - things frighten her. Not much frightens me."

Eddie murmured, "Just... the things you see, people - lots of things frighten you Steven." 

Steve's jaw twitched and he gripped the steering wheel tighter - "You should shut your goddamn mouth. Stop trying to psycho analyse me. You want to be my friend - stop trying to get in my fucking head!" He yelled it - and Eddie just sat there - calm as ever. 

"You.. could try talking, you don't talk all that much - I.. just am trying to get you to talk." Eddie wound the window down and Steve said gruffly - "It don't feel like that - you... just... Jesus." 

Eddie loosened the buttons on his shirt - "...Let's.. try again? What.. music do you like?"

"Blues, rock - heavy metal - old bullshit.. blue grass - weird shit, even some gospel. What about you?" Steve asked - loosening his grip on the steering wheel.

Eddie chuckled, "Heavy metal, rock - some classical - opera - weird shit - even some rock n roll. I also love movies - specifically horror."  He murmured.

"I love horror movies too - specially them old ones - like Nosferatu." Steve grinned, "I love the old Dracula ones too." He hummed softly - "I like sci-fi as well - I used to scare the bejeebus out of myself though.. thought the aliens was coming to get me... Shit."

Eddie let out a soft snort, "When I was a little boy - I would lay on the roof - looking for space ships." he said it softly, and Steve looked over. "I swear I seen one - coming home from Quantico - I swear to God... I seen one.. followed me.." He said it soft too.

Eddie grinned, "Think you've been abducted?" He asked - teasing.

"Well fuck... I hope not.. I always wanted to go to Roswell..." Steve laughed, "Or... go to area 51."

Eddie said loudly, "I do believe!"

Steve laughed, "I don't wanna but I do too." 

They were both still laughing when Steve parked the truck outside of Robin's house. They both climbed out, and Steve untucked his shirt - "It's hotter than Satan's armpit - how are you not sweating...holy shit." He muttered, and Eddie smirked - "I'm just.. that cool." He said with a soft laugh.

"Whatever asshole." Steve growled but he smiled. He knocked on the door - and Robin opened it. "Steve!" She kissed the air around him and then stepped aside - he chuckled softly, "Hello Darlin' - this is Eddie, Eddie - this is Miss Robin, Robin - this is Doctor Eddie Munson.. or as I call him Asshole."

Robin tutted softly and she smiled at Eddie, "Hello Doctor Munson." Eddie smiled, and he said softly - "Please, call me Eddie, I brought this for you - to have with dinner, I believe we're having pot roast?"

She blushed and then said softly, "Oh.. yes, you shouldn't have - please both of you come in." 

They both stepped inside, and Steve kicked off his boots - "You don't have to do that Chief." She said softly - and Steve waved his hand - "I always take em off - rude, I don't wanna ruin your carpet." She let out a soft little laugh and they followed her into the living room.

Vicky was sitting and she stood up, "Hello Chief, nice to see you again." She said softly, just as shy as Robin. "Now I done told you to call me Steve, none of that Chief business..." He gave her a wink and she let out a soft little laugh.

"Miss Vicky, this is Eddie - he works with well.. us.. I guess - Eddie this is Robin's good friend Miss Vicky."  Steve raked his fingers through his hair, and spotted Robin's dog. "Hey Whistler c'mere girl." She totted over and then jumped into his lap as he sat down.

Robin let out a soft laugh, "She doesn't like me much anymore Steve.. won't let me give her the medicine - would you mind? She tries to bite me all the time.." She looked sad and Steve said, "Sure I don't mind Darlin' hand it to me."

Eddie gave Vicky's hand a soft kiss, "Pleasure to meet you." Vicky smiled and she said softly - "You can just call me Vicky..." 

Eddie let out a soft laugh and he sat down - eyeing Steve with Whistler - "You have a way with dogs." Robin laughed and said softly - "He's a dog whisperer." She gave Steve the medicine and he said softly, "Mhm.. you're a grump ole gal ain't you Miss Whistler - ain't got no time for bullshit.."

He lifted his head, "Excuse my potty mouth ladies.." He looked at the little dog - "Here you go Darlin' this will make you feel better." He put the medicine onto is fingers and she obediently licked it off and then licked Steve's face.

"Sugar, you're just the sweetest lil thang.." He said softly and then he gave her kisses. Vicky had her hand to her chest - "You are just so sweet." She told him and Eddie was smirking. 

Steve let out a soft laugh and then he set Whistler down who followed him as he went into the kitchen and washed his hands. "If you need me to do it next time you just let me know okay?" He told Robin and she smiled, "Will do Chief.." He said softly, "So you braved it - asked her to come." Robin blushed and whispered - "Yeah I did.. I.. asked her to go see a movie with me too."

Steve whispered back, "What are you going to see?"

Robin whispered, "Were going to watch one here later." She was blushing again and Steve was too. "Oh... okay... that's .. good." He coughed and Robin laughed softly, "Would you like a beer?" Steve said softly, "Sure - I best only have one though." She nodded and then said to Eddie and Vicky, "Would you both like a glass of wine?"

Vicky said softly, "Sure - that would be nice." 

Eddie said with a smile, "I'll have beer too if that's okay - you ladies have the wine for yourselves." Robin gave Eddie a big smile and she said "Oh.. that's very sweet of you." Eddie grinned - "You're welcome. Stevie said you don't really buy it for yourself... so.." 

Robin let out a soft little laugh, "Stevie? Oh.. that's sweet.. I like that." Steve turned bright red and he muttered, "Hush..." He looked in Eddie's direction - "You.. shouldn't call me that." He muttered and Eddie smirked, "Oh... is that.. only when we're alone?"

The two girls were talking in the kitchen, pretending that they weren't listening and Steve said quietly, "...I.. don't know?" He let out a soft exhale and Eddie murmured, "So.. just Steve - then." 

He sipped his beer and Eddie let out a soft little chuckle, "Okay... I'll try to remember. No to Steven - Steve in public... It's okay to call you Stevie when its just the two of us."

"Shut up Eddie." Steve said softly, and Robin was watching the two of them - then she said with a little giggle. "So... Eddie - uh how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

Eddie took a swig of his beer, "Not at all - I'm thirty-five, I'll be thirty-six in August." He picked at his pants leg. 

Robin said "Oh.. so you're a Leo?" She smiled, giving him a dopey face - "I love astrology - you're perfect match for a love interest is an Aquarius... which just happens to be..." She motioned to Steve with her eyes, and then she whispered - but loud, "He's kind of shy though." Eddie grinned at her - "Really."

Robin laughed and nodded, "Steve - he's twenty-four - Just a little bit older than Vicky and I - but he is an old soul... I'm sure he's been here before.. I shouldn't say that being a Christian.."

She rolled her eyes and Eddie chuckled. "Well... at the end of the day - we don't really know what is true and what isn't. Lots of possibilities... Steve and I were talking about Aliens on the way here.. and UFO's." 

Steve was sipping his beer and zoning out a little - and then Vicky said - "I swear I saw one on the road home from the main highway - I swear it!" Steve started grinning and he said "I told you Eddie! The road Is UFO alley!" 

Vicky giggled and Steve said with a lazy drawl, "I got followed home - all the way home - I was shittin myself - excuse me - but I thought I was gonna get abducted." 

Robin laughed, "What would they do if they abducted you..." Steve leaned in a little and he murmured, "Terrible things... experiments."

Eddie was watching amused and Vicky said with a giggle - "I think they like putting things up your.. behind." 

Eddie nearly choked on his beer and Steve scratched at his neck, a little uncomfortable.

Robin was blushing and she said softly, "Vicky!"  

Vicky said with a smirk - "Well its what I read... besides, we're all grown adults... and.. well I don't think anyone minds.. do they?"

Steve was blushing hotly - he muttered softly, "I don't think we should be talkin bout that... it's inappropriate.." 

Eddie just cleared his throat.

Vicky said with a giggle - "Sorry... jeez Steve - I didn't think you were a prude." 

He bristled a little, and Robin said softly - "Vicky.." 

Steve said softly, "I need to use the bathroom, excuse me." He got up and then left the room.

Robin whispered - "You can't talk about that kind of stuff - he gets upset by it, he's a good Christian.." 

Eddie cleared his throat, and said softly - "I'm just going to uh.. I need to use the bathroom after Steven."

He met up with Steve who was standing in the hallway - "Are you alright?" He murmured and Steve said softly - "She thinks I'm a queer - why does everyone think I'm a fucking queer?" He was all tense, and embarrassed and he couldn't breathe properly again. 

"It.. she - Steve.. she is - she's attracted to Robin - I think she knows I am.. she just feels comfortable. I don't think she's trying to offend you." Eddie said softly - and Steve breathed out harshly - "...Do.. I.. seem like a queer?" He looked terrified - eyes all wild, and he backed up against the wall.

Eddie stepped closer, and Steve hissed - "Don't.. d-d-don't f-f-fucking t-t-touch m-me." He couldn't stop the stutter, and Eddie murmured - "You're panicking, again. You were having fun - there is no reason to get upset - Stevie.."

Steve breathed out harshly, and he let out a soft noise in his throat - "I.. c-can't." He couldn't breathe - Eddie curled his fingers into Steve's hair - then he breathed out against his face, "Yes you can... you can breathe.'

He let out a shaky breath against Eddie's mouth, the older man murmured - "See.. there you go." Steve shoved Eddie away from him hard - then Steve punched him, "Don't fucking touch m-me.." He snarled, voice ice - cold. "I'm not like you.. I.. f-fucking t-told you!"

Steve stormed out the house, slamming the door behind him - he got in his truck and drove off - not caring that he'd left Eddie at Robin's house.

***

He was so angry - he drove home - he still felt like he couldn't breathe. He vomited the second he got to the bathroom, his stomach in knots - he stared at his reflection in the mirror and then slammed his fist into it - raging he trashed the bathroom - and then collapsed in a heap on the floor - he went still - quiet - just staring at the ceiling. Tears slid silently down his cheeks and he let out the occasional stuttering exhale.

He laid like that for hours - till it got dark and he could barely see. Steve got up slowly - and flicked the light on - sitting on the edge of the bathtub - he pulled out his bottle of whiskey - hissing as he poured it over his hand - then rinsed it under cold water, then he wrapped a clean bandage around it and took a swig from the bottle. Steve went into the spare bedroom and he laid down in the bed. He could smell him on the sheets. Goddamnit you are so sick and wrong.

Steve let out a shaky breath and took another swig - and then he just crawled under the covers - he screwed the lid back on his bottle and tried to ignore the painful throbbing in his hand. 

***

He woke up to the phone ringing incessantly - Steve stumbled out of bed - "Hello.." He said hoarsely, "Jesus I've been trying to call you for the last two fucking hours!" Hopper barked at him. "Don't you answer your goddamn phone! There's been another one." 

Steve breathed out sharply, "..Another what?" He said hoarsely.

"Don't be fucking stupid, you know what I'm talking about - another murder, and this one - this one is .. even more fucking disturbing then the last one - I need you here at the crime scene - nobody else has seen it - I want.. you to see it first. Can you get here?" Hopper's voice was a growl - but he was anxious. 

"Yeah - I can.. come." He muttered. Hopper breathed a sigh of what was clearly relief - "Okay its the rest stop, the crossroads between Woodville and Quantico - mile 23 - you know where?" Hopper asked. 

"Yeah I know.. I'll see you soon." Steve muttered, then he hung up the phone. 

***

When he got there - there were too many people - his force - the FBI, BAU team - Jim was keeping them all at bay. The only people he did allow closer - were himself, Eddie and Steve. Eddie was quiet - standing with Jim, he didn't speak to Steve - but he did watch him. Steve chose not to acknowledge the older man, he just tugged his coat up around himself and he headed to the area which Jim had actually had sealed off.

"Goddamn vultures - they're just waiting to pounce." Jim muttered - he looked at Steve, "...I just want to say, this is pretty fucked up kid - I'm sorry to have to do this to you. Really I am - but you're the best I have, and I need your eyes. I need you to tell me what the fuck I'm dealing with here Steve, because this? This - I don't know what I'm dealing with, this is something else... something fucking else."

Steve just let out a soft exhale - Jim Hopper was a lot of things. Rattled and shook was something he was not. Or at least he had never been before. 

He gave the older man a nod, and then he stepped behind the screen.

Steve felt like the air got sucked out of his lungs. 

There was an upside down cross in the middle of the field - it had been driven into the ground - standing proudly - a visceral fuck you to all the religious, good Christian folk that went to church every Sunday. A statement that said Fuck You. Evil is here - its living and breathing and here in front of you. 

It's here to say fuck your God - fuck your Religion - and Fuck you too. 

But that wasn't the worst of it. 

Nailed to the upside down cross - was Gareth Tomey. Steve's hapless - useless Deputy. He was just a kid - fresh out of High school, as dumb as a box of dull over used colored pencils. And now he was dead. Nailed to an upside down cross in the middle of a field in Woodville Virginia.  Steve stared at him - what was left of him. 

He'd been nailed to it - eviscerated - like a twisted, severed rendition of Christ. 

Carved open and splayed out - broken and twisted, angles that should have been impossible. Eyes removed - his organs gone - this time, they were nowhere to be seen. His intestines were draped around his neck like a ruby red necklace, dripping blood in the too cold morning air.

Around his head was a crude crown of thorns - made of Kudzu vine. He was stuffed full of Night Jasmine again, the flowers giving off their familiar cloying musky sweet scent with a bite of acid. 

Steve felt a sting of tears - and yet he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because it was Gareth - a kid he was supposed to be teaching how to be a cop - instead he'd just wound up mutilated in a field in the middle of nowhere. 

He stepped closer and Steve let out a soft exhale - his back was all lashed - whipped, he even had the hole in his side. Steve thought it was beautiful, he let his eyes close - trying to push that away. He wanted desperately to push that thought away. But he couldn't. It wouldn't go. 

Steve stood there, staring at it - taking it all in. Where were the organs, what did this killer do with them? He stepped back - and then Steve whispered, "I'm sorry this happened to you."

He stepped away - coming back around the curtain. 

Walking over to where Hopper and Eddie were standing - he didn't move right up to where they were. Instead he fished a cigarette out and lit it - and they came to him. "...Well?" Jim asked him, raking his fingers through his hair, "What... do you think."

Steve said quietly, "It's the same killer - the same person that killed the first victim - only this time he was making a statement - saying fuck you, here I am - he's proud of himself, proud of this." He waved with his hand - "I... have to go and speak to his parents.." His voice was hoarse.

Jim said, "You... know the victim?" His voice was grim - concerned.

Eddie was extremely quiet - concerned as well.

Steve let out a sharp laugh, but it wasn't humor. "Yes Jim - he's one of my fucking Deputies - fresh out of High school - if you'll excuse me, I need to go and tell his parents their son is fucking dead." He barked out - and then he started walking away. "I... and your not going to tell me anything else?" Jim called after him.

Steve gave him the finger - "You can fucking wait till tomorrow." He called back, "Kindly take him down - I'd like his parents to be able to see their son."

His voice was emotionless, detached - Eddie started moving towards him and Steve growled softly, "I don't want to speak to you - just.. don't."

"I.. wanted to talk to you about yesterday, not.. about this." Eddie said quietly, Steve said angrily - "There's nothing to talk about! Jesus - just.. leave me alone."

He breathed out sharply, and Eddie growled back - "Don't walk away from me when I'm trying to speak to you Steven, its rude."

Steve turned around, and Eddie moved in closer.

"I don't give a fuck." Steve said it up close - and Eddie said quietly, "...You aren't bothered by what you just saw?"

Steve breathed out sharply - "What reaction would you like Dr. Munson? For me to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the field? Cry? About how fucking wrong and sick and fucked up that it is one of my Deputies?, a goddamn eighteen year old kid - that is strung up on an upside down cross fucking mutilated?" He growled. 

Eddie's eyes just moved slowly over his face, and Steve's eyes met his.  

They both exhaled at the same time - and Steve saw the sparkle - the amusement - something primal - the I told you I'd get you to look at me.

Steve's breath caught in his throat and he couldn't seem to find anything else to say. 

"Would you like me to come with you - when you tell his parents?" The older man's lilting voice - oh so soft - and Steve couldn't seem to actually look away. 

"Why would you even want to do that..." Steve said softly, "I... can do it myself." 

Eddie's eyes were dark, almost black - but like bottomless pools - that Steve wanted to actually drown in. He could feel the warmth in his face - and finally he lowered his gaze - looking away, and then he muttered, "Suit your damn self..."

He turned around and then stalked off - Eddie following him, and getting into the seat beside him.  Steve started the truck and then pulled out of the rest stop - he said nothing as he drove - his hands gripping the steering wheel.

"...Did you like looking at it?' Eddie said suddenly - and Steve breathed out sharply - "Looking at what?" He said slightly breathless - not sure how to answer, knowing instinctively that he needed to be careful with how he answered. 

"At the display he put on for you." The older man said calmly. 

"That he put on for me?" Steve asked - "The hell are you talking about..." His voice slightly raspy - a little shaky. 

Eddie said in that calm lilting voice, "It seems a little obvious to me - that this killer is doing this to get your attention - haven't you realized that yet Steven."

Steve stayed quiet, not wanting to answer - it was ridiculous. 

"Why would you say that? How would this killer even know I was on the case.. know me - or know anything about me." He muttered.

Eddie lit a cigarette, "Because you're in the papers - because you've had articles written about you, you've come out of retirement and are on the case - you're not stupid, you just have to put the pieces together. This was... an ode to you - a love letter, to get you to pay attention."

The older man said quietly - "I.. don't think we should share that information with Jim Hopper however." 

Steve just stayed quiet - he bit down on his bottom lip, and tried to ignore the fact that he actually liked Eddie's theory. He took the cigarette from Eddie as the older man passed it to him - taking a drag, and then he passed it back - their fingers touching.

"...I.. think that's insanity." He muttered softly, heat in his face.

Eddie was watching him, he could feel it. "...I think I'm right - and I think you know that I am... I also think that secretly.. you like it." Eddie was looking out the window - "I won't tell Jim about that either." 

Steve frowned and he growled out, "There's nothin to tell him, I... don't ... that's seriously fucked up."

Eddie said calmly, "Well.. you might think so.... but I'm still right, aren't I Steven." His voice was soothingly soft - Steve felt sick in his stomach.

"Come for dinner tonight at my place. The dinner party for two - we.. can talk more?" Eddie asked, taking another drag on the cigarette.

Steve let out a soft breath. "Okay.." He said quietly. 

Eddie gave him a smile, he could see it - and Steve muttered, "...We.. don't need to tell Jim your... crazy theories.."

"No.. not at all.. please be at my place at seven pm?" He said with another one of his soft little smiles.

Steve nodded - "Yeah.. okay." Eddie got out of the car, and Steve watched him go inside the Hotel. He breathed out sharply, there was no way that it could be true.

The killer leaving him... murders like a love letter.

Steve let his eyes close. No it isn't true. Why is he saying that. 

More importantly, why do you like the thought of it so damn much?

Chapter Text

He felt weary, worn down to the bone - it was different to being tired. Exhaustion that he'd been carrying for a long time - Steve had told Gareth's parents - he could still hear his Mama's sobs, her broken cries for her boy that wasn't going to be coming home.

His father's quiet stillness. 

How did you come back from something like that? Putting your child in the ground before yourself - that just didn't seem right. Didn't sit right with Steve. He sighed, heavily - the cigarette burning between his fingers - burnt down too quick and he flicked it out the window.

It was raining, heavy and vicious - pelting down on the roof of the truck - drowning everything out. Bound to happen sooner or later with the build up of endless heat and humidity for days on end.

Steve had his window down - and it was coming in, he didn't really pay attention to it though - he was getting wet, it didn't matter. 

He breathed out slowly, the pain behind his eyes was a constant dull throb and had been since the moment that he'd opened his eyes that morning. Steve licked his lips and then just stared at the house - it was a big brick thing - looked like a fortress, wasn't like his falling apart ruin. 

Steve wound up the window and then he sighed - getting out, he was drenched before he had even finished locking up the truck - so he just walked slowly across the street. He knocked on the door - and then realized there was a doorbell, so he pushed that and then waited. 

Eddie opened the door, and Steve didn't really know what to say to him - "You're early." Eddie said - the older man was pleased by this, and he added - "You're drenched." 

"Well it's rainin.." Steve muttered, wiping at his face. 

Eddie let out a soft laugh, "Yes... well." He stepped aside, "Come in, we'll find you something to change into." His lilting voice a little raspy - soft and Steve was just tired. He was too tired to bite back, too tired to deal with his amusement. 

"Yeah, alright." He said quietly. Eddie shut the door - he said nothing as Steve toed his boots off, by then he was actually starting to shiver. "Come with me Stevie.." Eddie said softly, and he motioned for Steve to follow him. 

The house was different - it was dark inside, walls were dark and painted in shades of maroon and some were black. Photographs and paintings - interesting things that Steve wanted to look at, but he also didn't want to be rude and drip water all over Eddie's house. 

It felt lived in but in a different way - it was Eddie, it felt like him. 

The older man had led him into what Steve could only assume was his bedroom. He curled his arms around himself - and then Eddie said, "You wait in here.." He pointed to the dark looking bathroom. "You can always have a shower if you wish, warm yourself up. I'll find you something to wear." 

Steve just shivered and then he said quietly - "..Okay." He moved into the bathroom - it was like being in some expensive fancy hotel - not that Steve spent time in fancy hotels.

The point was, it wasn't a run down dilapidated house like his. It wasn't a trailer - it wasn't an abandoned Church. He stared at the shower - It had buttons. What kind of shower had buttons?

He just stared at it - not sure how to even turn the damn thing on. 

Eddie must have realized that there was nothing happening, because he was suddenly back - "...Do you need some help Stevie?" He looked at him.

Steve muttered - "How do you...work it? Turn.. it on - I.." 

"Oh... yes..." Eddie opened the door - and then he pushed a few buttons - water started to come out - and steam. Steve just stood there staring at it - "I've left the clothes on the end of the bed, towels are in that cupboard there. I'll be in the kitchen - its through the big doors on the right once you go back the way we came." 

Steve just nodded and Eddie said, "Okay.. I'll leave you to it then." They both went to move at the same time - moving in the same direction.

"Sorry." "Sorry." They both said that at the same time too - and then Eddie let out a soft little chuckle, "... I'll go this way hmm?" He stepped around Steve, and then he shut the door behind him. 

He let out a soft exhale - and then Steve stripped off his wet clothes. He climbed into the shower and then stood under the water. 

Steve let out a soft groan. It felt good. Really good - like the warmth was sinking deep into his bones - he dipped his head under and just enjoyed the heat. He realized that his bandage around his hand was pretty much stuffed - he unwound it and hissed as the water stung his hand.

It was pretty bruised and raw from punching the mirror. But he couldn't do much about it now. 

He washed himself with the body wash, just using his hands - and Steve bit his lip softly, because it smelt really good - expensive. He felt the heat in his face, because it smelled like Eddie - and he liked it.

"Shit.." he muttered softly, his cock was stirring and he didn't want that happening either. "Think of something disgusting..." Steve muttered.

That wasn't helping either but he just had to ignore it. Steve eventually got out of the shower he grabbed a towel - even the towels were nice - super soft and fluffy. And probably the biggest he'd ever used in his life. He wrapped an entire towel around himself - he wasn't sure what to do with his wet clothes.

He scooped them up - and then left them in a folded up wet pile. 

Steve went back into the bedroom, and then he bit his lip - chewing on it softly as he brushed his fingers against the clothes. 

He pulled on the jeans, that were a perfect fit - maybe too perfect. They sat low on his hips - and were extremely soft, like they'd already been worn in. He pulled on the long sleeved black Henley and then let out a soft little exhale, Steve felt a weird feeling in his stomach.

Like Eddie had specifically brought these clothes for him. It wasn't something he'd ever seen the older man wearing. And they were his size - he pushed the sleeves up a little.

"Ah.. perfect timing." Eddie's voice startled him - the older man was standing in the doorway and Steve felt the heat in his cheeks. How long had he been standing there for?

Steve let out a shaky breath, "I.. uh.. didn't know what to do with.. m-my c-clothes." He stammered.

"Oh its alright I can wash them and then give them back to you.. it's fine." Eddie said with a smile. He held his hand out for the towel - and Steve gave it too him, Eddie stepped into the bathroom - putting it into the laundry hamper along with Steve's wet clothes. Steve curled his arms around himself, and Eddie said - "Are you warmer?"

"Yeah.. I'm.. warmer. Your shower.. it.. was amazing." He said softly and Eddie chuckled, "...You liked it hmm?"

Steve nodded, "Yeah." He rubbed his hands over his face and Eddie said softly, "Are you sure you're warm enough, you don't need a sweater?" 

"No.. I think I'm good." Steve said quietly, he stared down at the floor - the jeans flared out a little at the bottom - not a style he usually wore - but they were comfortable. 

Eddie let out a soft exhale, and Steve lifted his head - he moved a little bit closer - and then Eddie said softly, "...Shall we go to the kitchen?"

"Yeah.. okay." Steve nodded, and Eddie's fingers gently brushed his - Steve let out a soft little breath, and Eddie moved his hand - but Steve let his fingers touch.

The older man smiled, a soft little smile - but then he murmured, "What happened?" He gently took Steve's hand - the one he'd smashed into the mirror.

Steve felt frozen in place, and he said hoarsely - "Nothin....nothin happened."

"Hmm... it wasn't nothing Stevie.." Eddie's voice soft, and he murmured - "Did you lose your temper and hit something?"

"...It' ain't a big deal.." He whispered it - and Eddie leaned in closer, "Tell me...what did you do hmm?"

Steve's heart was pounding in his chest, and he felt that familiar feeling of being cornered - trapped - the darkness of the space around them though was quiet, still - and Steve whispered - "I punched my bathroom mirror.."

Eddie tutted softly, he murmured - "What a silly boy, hmm.. does it hurt?"

Before Steve could reply, Eddie was looking at him with those impossibly dark eyes - and Steve found himself looking back, from under his lashes - "Should I kiss it better?" Eddie said softly, he brushed his lips - feather soft, ghosting them against his hand.

All while he stared at Steve.

Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat - his breath catching - and then he bit down hard on his bottom lip. 

Eddie smiled, a soft little smile - he murmured softly "You are so very beautiful Stevie.." 

Steve felt his stomach get all tight, and he whispered - "You.. you shouldn't.. say things like that to me.." He shivered.

Eddie leaned down, murmuring softly - "I... can't help it. don't be angry... hmm.." He gently touched Steve's chin, and he murmured - "You... have beautiful eyes too, you...looked at me...not once... but twice.."

He whimpered, and Steve didn't know why - Eddie whispered, "I know, I know how fucking hard it is for you to do that... so I want you to know how much it means to me that you did." 

Steve lifted his gaze, and Eddie murmured - "There you are.."

They stared at each other and Steve whispered - "I...what are you doing to me.." 

Eddie said softly, "No...my pretty boy, what are you doing to me?" 

Steve felt the heat in his face, and in his belly - he let his eyes close.

Eddie murmured, "I want to kiss you - but... I know you don't want that, but... I want you to know that, I really want too.. I want to taste your lips... I want to taste your tongue in my mouth... but I won't, but.. I want too."

They breathed the same breath, Steve had never been this close to anyone - ever.

He curled his fingers against the wall behind him and Eddie said softly - "...Are you hungry?"

Steve's eyes closed and he breathed out heavier against Eddie's mouth - and Eddie smirked - then he stepped back. "Let's go and eat shall we?" His voice soft - calm.

Breathing out shakily, Steve opened his eyes and he lowered his gaze - he didn't really know what to say, he curled his arm around himself and then said quietly - "Yeah.. mhmm.." 

Eddie held out his hand, and Steve stared down at it - then lifted his gaze, looking from under his lashes - but not meeting the older man's.

His hand was shaking as he slid his fingers into Eddie's.

Steve let him lead him into a small dining area - Eddie had set up a small table, with candles going and pretty flowers. 

"Do you want to sit here, or would you rather sit with me while I finish up." Eddie said softly. 

Steve let out a soft exhale, "I... would rather sit with you - not here by myself." His voice was raspy soft.

Eddie chuckled - and he said quietly, "Okay, come then." They went into the kitchen, "That was my old study - I turned it into a small dining area for our party of two dinner party - rather than us sitting in my main dining room. It's too big." 

He just nodded and then shifted - letting go of Eddie's hand. Steve let out a soft noise in his throat as Eddie suddenly tugged him in close - flush up against him and then he murmured, "...I changed my mind.."

Eddie licked at his mouth, Steve felt Eddie's tongue stroke inside - hot and slick. Steve curled his fingers against the older man's chest, not really sure - what to do, but he didn't push him away - and Eddie slid his hand up, cradling his face as he deepened the kiss. 

Steve felt all kinds of sensations - hot, heat surged everywhere all at once - the warm wet slick of Eddie's tongue as he stroked it against his, it sent that heat coursing through Steve's body, and straight to his cock. Deep in his belly - everywhere.

Steve let out a whimper - a needy sound, and Eddie moaned - his kiss deep and slow - taking his time, so he didn't startle Steve and scare him off. 

Eddie slid his hand into Steve's hair, and he stroked his tongue deeper, coaxing Steve's - and Steve kissed him back - letting out a moan of his own, his body relaxing - and Eddie took, he savored every second - their kiss leaving them both breathless, chasing for more - and Eddie said huskily, "Delicious... sweet Stevie.."

Steve breathed out against Eddie's mouth, his lashes kissing his cheeks and he opened his eyes - his heart was racing, but not because he felt afraid.

Eddie gently brushed his thumb against Steve's cheek and he murmured, "...What are you thinking about?"

"...That.. I've never.. done that before." He said softly - his voice was all breathless and husky.

Eddie smiled, and he murmured - "Never had a kiss?"

Steve nodded, and Eddie murmured - "Do you want another kiss pretty boy?"

Blushing, Steve whispered - "...I.. shouldn't... its.. wrong.." He looked at Eddie's mouth - biting on his own bottom lip.

Eddie whispered back, "Who says it wrong hmm? Does it feel wrong..."

"No... it... feels good.." Steve said softly, "But...that don't mean it is..."  

Eddie licked teasingly at Steve's mouth and Steve made a soft - dirty little noise.

Eddie growled softly, "You keep making the sweetest noises for me... how can it be wrong when it feels so good.... hmm? You want it... don't you my sweet boy... want another kiss.." 

Steve slid his fingers into Eddie's hair and then he whispered breathlessly, "Yeah.. yeah.. I want it.."

Eddie smirked, and he whispered - "Good... I want you to want it. I want you to want it so bad you can't stand it... and then I'll give you as many as you want.." He murmured, "...I'll fucking devour you with my kisses.." 

Steve was shaking, and Eddie whispered - "I'll make you come undone....come apart - won't you.. you already are.."

Steve curled his fingers against Eddie's chest and he bit down hard on his lip, pulling back from Eddie - lowering his gaze, and getting shy.

Eddie murmured, "...No.. don't hide."

"...I...d-don't... I.." Steve was breathing shakily and he whispered - "It.. hurts, I.. don't.." He looked confused.

Eddie said softly, "Hurts.. because you want kisses?"

Steve let his eyes close and he whispered shakily, "I... d-don't know.." 

Eddie pulled him in close again and then he whispered, "Hurts because you ache.. wanting this but it scares you." 

Steve nodded yes, and Eddie kissed him again - deeply, slow - his tongue stroking Steve's again. Steve kissed him back - still a little unsure, but with Eddie's coaxing - he relaxed into it, and Eddie moaned into Steve's mouth, his fingers stroking Steve's back - sliding under the Henley - against his bare skin. 

Steve gasped out against Eddie's mouth, and he rest his head against Eddie's chest - "Oh...s-shit.." His voice was soft, but husky and Eddie slid his hand higher - Steve moved away slowly, his lips swollen from their kisses, his eyelids heavy - "Should.. stop now.." He said softly, his cheeks flushed - Steve whispered, "I.. we... you hafta stop kissin me Eddie.." 

Eddie said huskily, "You...look beautiful... so utterly wrecked from just our kisses..."

Steve made a soft little noise, he whispered - "...I. you.. gotta stop sayin.. things like that.."

Eddie chuckled, and he murmured, "Okay... I.. will stop, we'll eat our dinner hmm? Although... I would much rather eat you."

Steve muttered, "Fuck you; you shouldn't say things like that..." His blush was spreading down his neck too. 

Eddie smirked, "Oh.. but.. its true.." 

Their eyes met again, and Eddie murmured - "Now that I've tasted your mouth...I ...want to taste every bit of you.." 

Steve lowered his gaze, and he whispered, "Eddie... you.. shouldn't say things like that.." He bit down on his fingers - and shivered.

Eddie smirked, "But you're so delicious.. and sweet, I...just can't help myself."

"I...think I should leave." Steve said softly, "I... this isn't.. I.. t-told you." 

Eddie murmured, "Nobody has to know... it's just us, it can be... our secret." 

Steve stared at Eddie from under his lashes - breathing out slightly heavier. 

"Nobody is here but us... how will anyone know... hmm?" Eddie said huskily, his voice deeper - "You can just be yourself... let yourself do whatever you want to do..."

Steve rasped out softly, "You...s-shouldn't s-say thing's like that neither.." 

"Why...not?" Eddie said huskily, "Because it makes your cock hard?"

Steve tensed up and he shifted away, breathing out heavily - he raked his fingers through his hair - and Eddie took hold of Steve's hand, "So am I..." He placed Steve's hand over his cock and Steve let out a strangled, harsh noise.

Eddie growled softly, "I've been hard every time I look at your beautiful fucking face..."

He cupped Steve's cock, and rubbed with his hand - cupping him through his pants - and Steve groaned out  dirty and rough - "No... no no."

Eddie tugged him in close again and gripped Steve's hips, rocking them together - "Yes..." He growled it against Steve's ear, and rocked again - "Yes.."

Steve suddenly bit against Eddie's throat and he sucked hard - making Eddie growl and they rocked together, almost desperate - Steve moaned breathlessly, needy - and Eddie pressed Steve against the wall, lifting him up - and he kept shamelessly grinding into him. "I want you to feel this... feel how good it feels.."

Steve held onto Eddie - he bit down against the older man's throat - his body shaking and Eddie whispered against his mouth - "That's it, move with me.. feel how hard I am.. your cock is hard - it does work.. you fucking want me... I'm going to make you cum.." 

Steve's breath caught in his throat - and he was shaking as he came in his pants - Eddie said huskily, "Hmm.. so beautiful.." Steve had tears in his eyes, fear - and he pushed Eddie away - then he bolted - disappearing out the room, and out into the rain - and Eddie just licked his lips, smirked and murmured, "My darling boy... hmm.."

Chapter Text

Steve's boots clunked heavy on the over polished floors - they were so shiny that he could see himself in it - he was hunched in on himself. In some strange attempt to what? Make himself smaller - less visible, unseen altogether? 

Steve avoided the stares, the whispers - he knew they were talking about him. They always had done - but now they talked about him even more. 

Now he was being forced out of the enforced retirement - and being dragged back to Quantico. He didn't want to be there - he liked being in Woodville, where he could stay unseen if he chose too. Where he didn't have to be under the gaze of so many people. 

He'd been teaching before they threw him out altogether - that was a strange experience. One he didn't enjoy - and yet his students seemed to have liked learning from him. He'd been able to teach without too much interference from Hopper - until he'd started putting him back out in the field.

Jim Hopper couldn't help himself - it always came back to that. Always. He kept him locked up for a while in a China cabinet - and then when he wanted too he pulled him out. Brought out the fragile teacup and tried not to break him. 

But Steve's mind always broke. He was breaking again. He could feel the cracks - feel them appearing. It was like trying to plug a boat that had too many holes - too much water was coming in all at once, and he was going to sink.

It was an inevitable disaster.  

That was when Jim Hopper had decided to bring Dr. Edward Munson into the unit - as a special consultant supposedly. But it had become abundantly clear that he was there to assess Steve. 

Steve Harrington the resident Lunatic/Autistic Genius and Dr. Edward Munson the psychiatrist. They had been having weekly meetings - three scheduled appointments.

Something that Steve had been subjected too many times throughout his twenty-four years of life. 

He'd always been broken, something that needed fixing.

Steven Beauregard Jackson Harrington.

Someone that was Damaged. 
Not quite right. 
Different.
Didn't fit.
Wrong.
Broken.
Sick.

You fix the cracks - you put the China away. Then you take it back out - you break it again -  you repair the cracks - you fix the cracks. you put it away. you wash and rinse and repeat. 

Steve was tired of it all. He was so tired of the same thing - the same shit. Over and over... and over again.

He hated the BAU, he hated the FBI - he hated being the Chief of fucking Police for the Woodville County Sheriffs Department. 

Steve hated all of those things - he hated the staring, the questions - the noise, the constant buzzing, clicking and static. 

The color, the sound, the vibrating. The stench of the people and the world around him. 

The disease that tried to permeate and sink in under the skin. He wanted the fucking cure.

To be rid of it all.

Steve had always hated it. He hated every bit of it. But he had to exist in the world around him whether he wanted too or not. 

It smothered him, it buried him in its decaying filth - choked him in it. 

It stuck to him like an unwanted disease.

Steve slipped into the bathrooms and breathed out harshly, he took his glasses off and then splashed cold water on his face - it dripped down and he splashed more - not caring is his shirt got soaking wet, he couldn't breathe. 

He didn't want to be there - Steve didn't want to have to be in the same goddamn room as Dr. Edward fucking Munson.  

Steve's stomach was in chaos, he couldn't eat - he couldn't keep anything in his stomach long enough for it to stay. He couldn't taste food - he had never really enjoyed it all that much. Didn't really care for it - it was just the means to survive, and that was all he'd ever really been doing.

Survive another day - just get through. Rise with the light, close them when the night came. 

Another cycle. Rinse and repeat.

His hands were shaking, and they hadn't stopped shaking since he'd left the older man's house.

That was three days ago.

Steve hadn't answered his phone, he hadn't answered the door - he had done nothing, except lay in his bed - listening to music on his old record player and drinking himself into oblivion. He looked like he felt - like Hell. Like he'd crawled through it, and come out the other side worse than when he went in. 

Haunted eyes - and a rattle that he couldn't shake off. He was having nightmares, disturbing ones. Dreams where he was a murderer - doing the vile things that had been done to the victims.

They followed him into his waking hours too. Whispering to him - things he didn't want to hear, see  - feel or taste in his mouth.

Steve couldn't drink his monsters away - and it was starting to take its toll.

Already - he was cracking. 

The bathroom door opened - and Jim Hopper stepped into the space. He just looked at him - when someone else tried to come in he yelled, "USE ANOTHER BATHROOM."

Steve rubbed his hands over his face, then shoved them into his pockets.

"You look like a strung out junkie that needs a goddamn fix - the hell is this... what are you doing? Do you need to go to rehab? Do you need more psychiatric help - Because you can't fucking do this to me right now.. Do you fucking hear me Steven! I need you - I fucking need you because innocent people are dying and you're the only person that can fucking help me! The only one!!" Jim was too close, dark eyes angry and it was rolling off him - too much, too intense.

Steve backed up and he put his glasses back on.

"...I want you to pull yourself together, I want you to get your fucking mind right - get on the goddamn page!" The older man barked - "...Jesus Christ - are you doing drugs? Is that what this is? Is it Heroin? - Are you strung out?"

Jim muttered, "Jesus kid - I ... mean I know you graduated and finished college and you were just a Baby - You.. You're one of the most brilliant people I've had the privilege of ever knowing - but... maybe that's what's broken you... maybe I did this to you." He had tears in his eyes - and that just made Steve feel even more uneasy.

"Me and Joyce, we... think of you as our own son - you know that.. I just.. did I do this to you Steve? Did I push you to goddamn hard?" Hopper was going to touch him - but then he pulled his hand back. "...Did.. I fuck you up?"

Steve flinched and then he said hoarse, "Why would you think this was your fault? I was broken before I met you - I've always been fucking broken."

Hopper said quietly - "But you.. weren't this broken... were you?"

"I just was able to hide it better. I guess. I don't know what you want me to say right now." Steve's voice was hoarse but it didn't hold a lot of emotion. "...What am I meant to say? You always try to fix me - but.. how do you fix somethin that can't be fixed?"

Jim frowned, "...Why would you say that - you.. don't need to be fixed, I mean okay you're a little bit strange - but you're you. We love you just as you are. I don't like seeing you this messed up - I wish you'd stop with all the drinking but... sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Trust me kid - I know that. You know that I know that better than anyone. But - I want you to tell me, if I did this - if putting you into this work - broke you."

Steve sighed his voice rough, "I told you already - I... you can't break somethin that is already broke. It just.. I'm wired wrong or somethin - messed up should be my goddamn middle name."

The older man sighed softly, "Do you want to keep doing this - or should I leave you alone, let you go back to... doing what you're doing?"

He breathed out softly, "I... don't know how to answer that Jim. I.. want to help you - I... can I just.. sometimes I need to be able to breathe I just.. can't breathe when it gets to much." Steve said softer.  

Jim nodded. "Alright - if you need to step away - I'm just going to have to learn to be more patient. I know ... I am not the most patient man.. I.. gotta try and stop being so goddamn overbearing."

"That would help." Steve said with a smirk.

Hopper laughed softly,  and asked - "...Alright - well shall we go.. meet up with Edward and Nancy?" He held the door open.

"If.. we have too." Steve muttered softly.

Jim said, "You're not... on drugs right?"

Steve just snorted softly - "No... I'm not on drugs, I see enough weird bullshit as it is - I don't think I need drugs." He shook his head, muttering softly under his breath.

Jim said quietly, "Well good - I mean... you'd probably not tell me if you actually were - but.. I.. don't want you to be a junkie." He was saying this as they both headed into the main room where they had their group meetings and team work ups. 

Both Nancy and Eddie were already sitting at the table - along with Jonathan Byers - Steve sighed, it'd been a while since he'd last seen Jonathan.

The three of them were all looking between Jim and Steve. 

"He's not a junkie.." Jim said quickly - and Steve shook his head, closing his eyes and he poured himself a cup of coffee.

He sat down in his chair, the others were talking - but Steve was taking down some extra notes - and avoiding them mostly. 

Jonathan sat down beside him and he whispered - "Hey.. can I talk to you for a second?"

Steve gave him a soft grunt in reply and Jonathan said, "Okay.. great um... this is going to sound super weird - and you can say no. But.. would you consider being my best man."

Steve let out a hysterical giggle - and Jonathan looked shocked at hearing it - in fact so did Eddie, Jim and even Nancy.

He looked at Jonathan's hands, rather than at his face. "Oh.. that was pure comedy.." He rasped - and Jonathan said - "...I.. what?"

Steve said with amusement all over his face - trying not to laugh, "I'll tell you what Jonathan, why don't you swing by my place later.. hmm? We'll have a few beers and we'll talk about it."

Jonathan smiled, "That sounds good - yeah, okay!" He said - and Jim gave them both a smile.

Nancy looked like she wanted to stab Steve in the face - or Jonathan - or maybe them both.

Eddie was just watching them quietly, and Steve could see that same look on the older man's face that he'd had when he had first heard about Steve spending time with Robin.  

Steve just didn't know what it meant. 

But it was something - Dislike? Was Eddie angry?

Steve was still feeling amused, he let out a soft little chuckle - then he leaned in closer and whispered to Jonathan - "...I have some venison, you wanna have that for supper?" He clicked his pen. 

Jonathan said back quietly, "...You're going to cook?"

"Sure.. I know how to cook... well I know how to cook meat? So sure." Steve whispered - and Jim said, "Have you two finished your secret rendezvous?" He was happy though and Steve pouted - "Stop ruining our secret rendevouz..."

Jonathan laughed softly, and Steve drawled lazily - "Just cos you're not invited.."

Eddie snapped his pencil in half - and Jim said with a sigh - "Need another pencil Edward."

The older man said with a tight voice, "I have one thank you very much." Eddie fished it out of his suitcase - and Jonathan whispered - "Who pissed in his cornflakes.'

Steve whispered, "I don't know.." He was well aware of Eddie's gaze, even though he wasn't looking. 

Steve could feel it - Jonathan whispered, "I...have something for you." He reached down between them and then picked up his bag, taking out a white envelope - and then he pushed it towards him.

Steve frowned, biting his lip - "...Is this what I think it is?" He said quietly. 

They had been friends once - before Nancy the slut Wheeler had come between them. Before all the shit had pushed a giant wedge between the two of them and things became so awkward it was just easier to push Jonathan away. 

Jonathan whispered, "Yeah.. I.. could have given them to you later.. but.." He leaned in just a little bit closer and he whispered - "..It wasn't right that I kept them. I'm... sorry Steve."

Steve let out a sharper exhale, and then he took the envelope and shoved it into his own messenger bag - tears burned at his eyes, and he turned his head away - his hands were shaking again as he curled one into his hair, and the other he clicked his pen again.

"Do you need a moment Steve or are you ready to talk about what you've got to talk about?" Jim was asking him - and Steve just sat there - staring at the wall, clicking his pen.

"Black?" Jim said - and Steve just picked up his stuff, shoving it into his bag - he left the room.

Hopper muttered darkly, "Space Jim - give him space - that's all it is... just a little bit of fucking space you can be calm - you can be chill.... just some space tomorrow is another day."

"Would you like me to go and see if he is okay Jim." Eddie asked.

"Please... yes - I.. think I might lose my temper if I have to talk to him again today." Hopper muttered.

Eddie nodded and gave Jonathan a dark look as he left the room - shutting the door behind him - he could see Steve walking ahead up the hallway - and he soon caught up.

"...Stevie." Eddie said quietly.

Steve just kept walking - head down, and not looking at him.

"Please." Eddie gently brushed his fingers against Steve's and Steve lifted his head - tears were falling silently down his face and he didn't make eye contact - but he was pretty close to it. 

"What do you want.." Steve whispered - "...Please leave me alone, please I can't do this. You... c-can't do this."

Eddie let out a soft exhale, if he thought this boy was beautiful before? - When he was crying, he was breath taking. 

"I.. I'm sorry.." Eddie murmured softly. He genuinely did feel sorry - no hidden agenda, not smirking - no amusement in his voice. Steve looked exhausted, he gently brushed the younger man's tears from his cheeks and Steve flinched - then pulled away.

Steve had his fists balled at his sides - and Eddie said softly - "...I I'm sorry Stevie. I know I have to stop, I just.. don't like seeing you so upset."

Steve said softly, his voice a little rough - "So don't look at me, then you don't have to see me."

Eddie murmured - "If.. only it were that simple."

Steve said quietly, "Well it can be that simple - you just... you just stop lookin." He bit his lip and then his gaze met his.

Eddie smiled a soft little smile, and Steve blushed - but then lowered his gaze.

"You...wanna come eat with me and Byers?" Steve said softly, he was fidgeting - nervous, Eddie knew it was because he wanted him to say yes.

"Sure.. I could do that, if you let me help you this time.." Eddie kept his voice soft, soothing - and Steve huffed softly.

"Fine.. if it will shut you up. Jeez Louise.. you just wanna take over my kitchen.. so bossy." Steve muttered.

Eddie let out a soft laugh - "... Well I'll be your sous chef.. you can be in charge and tell me what to do hmm?"

Steve said softly, "I think you're lyin - you ain't never gonna let me be the boss in my own kitchen.. mr.. I was gonna be a chef.. nuh uh.. you just wanna get in there and boss me around.." He was teasing, and drawling his words, and it was the most adorable thing ever.

Eddie smirked, and he murmured - "I.. can behave myself."

Steve snorted and muttered, "I don't see any evidence of that at all Dr. Munson you are a liar... through and through.. you can't keep your hands to yourself.. not your lips neither.." He was saying this much softer, and looking at Eddie's mouth as he said it.

"Well... it isn't entirely my fault.." Eddie smirked, "I mean... I get distracted.. by this very pretty boy, who has the softest - sweetest lips.. I can't help but kiss them. If he lets me.. or.. touch him.." He said softly, licked his lips a little.

"Nuh-uh you're sayin that its his fault... he's not dirty and .. naughty like you.." Steve whispered it as he leaned in a little closer.

Eddie said huskily, "Oh.. are you saying I'm.. naughty and dirty?"

"Mhmm.. yes you are.." Steve said softly, "And a bad influence.."

Eddie grinned and he said with a soft little chuckle - "...But.. he still likes me though doesn't he."

"...You hush now, he ain't telling." Steve let out a soft little noise and Eddie smiled, "What... about if I brought him a present tonight?"

Steve was giving him that side - look, and then he said softly - "A present? What... kinda present."

"Well.. its a surprise..." Eddie leaned in a little, as they wound up walking side-by-side. "But... I think he'll like it.."

Steve said softly, "...You just wanna do dirty things to him again.."

Eddie laughed and Steve said softly, "Mhmm.. I know you do I can tell."

Steve let out a soft little breath as Eddie's fingers brushed his.

Eddie moved his fingers - till they found Steve's wrist, and then he brushed them feather soft up and down, till he moved his hand away again. He was pleased, and surprised he got away with it.

Steve said in his raspy soft voice - "...You...not gonna tell me what it is?"

"No... I told you, it's a surprise.." Eddie said softer.

Steve murmured, "You wanna... come help me now with the...dinner."

Eddie pushed Steve up against the side of his truck and he whispered, "...So you're going to let me help?" He stroked his fingers against Steve's stomach.

"Mhmm.. yeah.. I'll let you help." Steve was breathing out in those soft little breaths, and Eddie whispered, "...I'll help.. what else do you need."

Steve's eyes closed and he let out a shakier exhale - going quiet.

Eddie murmured softly "Stevie.." He gently curled his hand against Steve's head, bringing him in closer - and then he curled his other arm around Steve's body. Holding him close. "...Beautiful boy.." He slid his fingers into Steve's hair and just held him close. Eddie knew - he knew he was pushing the boundaries - he fully expected Steve to push him away, to run. 

Steve just let out a soft little breathy exhale - and he let Eddie hold him. Pressing in flush against the warmth and the solidness of Eddie's body. Steve's fingers fidgeted a little - but then he carefully curled them against Eddie's body, almost like he wasn't quite sure what to do with them.

He didn't run.

Eddie realized that they probably looked odd - holding each other in the middle of the car park. He didn't really care about that though. He slid his fingers into Steve's hair and then he murmured softly, "Would you like me to drive you home?"

Steve said softly, "...Do you not have your own car?"

The older man chuckled - "I usually have a driver, but... I do know how to drive." Eddie stared down at Steve - who seemed to be quite content where he was. "..You have a driver?" He muttered softly, "...You ... of course you do." He lifted his head a little, and Eddie realized - that Steve was sniffing him, breathing in his smell. Such a beautiful little creature.

"...I.. you don't mind driving?" Steve muttered softly, nuzzling his face and Eddie smiled - "Not at all..." He gently brushed Steve's hair out of his face and Steve mumbled - "I.. I'm .. hmm.. don't know." He finished and Eddie chuckled, "You're so tired you can't even be bothered finishing can you."

"Mhmm." Steve made a noise rather than speaking and Eddie murmured - "Give me your keys then Darling boy."

Steve shivered a little, lifting his head - he was blushing, and then he whispered - "Okay.." He dug into his pocket and then gave them to Eddie.

Eddie let out a soft little sigh, "Sadly to drive you home - I have to let you go." He murmured and Steve muttered, "I know." Neither of them made any attempt to move and Eddie said softly - "...This is okay?"

Steve just pressed his finger to Eddie's mouth and silenced him.

Eddie let out a soft laugh and then Steve slowly pulled back, rubbing his eyes and he muttered softly - "Fine.. then." 

Steve sounded a little bit petulant and Eddie resisted the urge to push further, even though - he really wanted too.

Eddie went around to the drivers side, and Steve got in - curling his legs up and then he clicked his seat belt into place. Going quiet as he sat there.

The drive to the younger man's home was a quiet one - Eddie wasn't sure if Steve had actually fallen asleep or not - every so often he'd glance over. It seemed like he had - he was laying with his head against the door - his eyes closed, lashes kissing his cheeks. That sinfully delicious mouth open just a touch, his cheeks were a slight pink - Eddie had to focus - but he kept stealing glances.

He pulled up the gravel driveway that led up to Steve's house, and then turned the engine off - when he turned to look at Steve, the younger man was actually staring at him. Eddie's fingers curled tighter around the steering wheel - and he licked his lips a little.

Steve shifted and then he opened the door, looking at Eddie from over his shoulder - Steve said nothing, at least not with words - but he lowered his gaze just a little bit, looking at him from under his lashes as he drawled softly, "So you comin in.. or are you just gonna sit there lookin at me all night..."

Eddie got out of the truck, and Steve muttered - "You're strange.. hmm.. with the.. staring.. and .. and t-the e-eyes.." 

Eddie felt a rush of warmth in his belly, he knew perfectly well that Steve liked it - for the first time in his life, Steve was enjoying being looked at, being seen - 

Eddie knew it.

They got inside the house, and Steve kicked off his boots - Eddie shrugged his coat off and hung it up in the entrance way. He loosened his hair tie and then shook it out - and Steve was biting his finger. 

Eddie said softly, "...What time is Jonathan coming over?" He couldn't hide the contempt in his voice - no matter how much he tried. He didn't want to share - he didn't want someone else sharing the space with them. 

He wanted Steve all to himself.

"...Uh... I didn't mention the time..." Steve was still fidgeting, and Eddie studying his movements - he bit on his fingers, or curled his hands against his stomach  - or clawed at his arm, whenever he was feeling unsure - or uncomfortable. When he wanted to say or maybe do something and he was apprehensive. He'd fidget.

Eddie loosened his tie and then pulled it free - and Steve was watching everything he did - without any eye contact.

"I...see." Eddie said quietly - and then he hung his suit jacket up too, shoving the tie into the pocket. "...What are you planning on cooking?" Eddie asked.

Steve just muttered - "Venison is what I got.." He was resting back against the wall, then he said quietly - "I don't want him here no more."

The punch of heat in his stomach, made Eddie's cock hard. It was so quiet that you could have almost missed it escaping the younger man's lips. Steve had his eyes closed. 

Eddie murmured - "...Why don't you want him here?"

"Because I don't want him... here... you're here.." Steve still had his eyes closed, and Eddie stepped closer - "You...want us to be alone?" His voice rumbling and soft and Steve just nodded - Eddie said softly, "Why...do you want us to be alone?"

Steve was blushing, but he opened his eyes - startled to actually find Eddie so close - and not where he'd originally been.  "...Cos.. if he's here then.. then we.. can't.." He said quietly.

Eddie smirked, "We can't what?" 

Steve was getting all flustered and he stammered - "N-nothin.. it d-d-don't m-matter." He just breathed out shakily, and Eddie murmured - "Are you feeling a little feverish? Maybe I should call Jonathan and cancel... change it for some other time because you're not feeling well?"

Steve's blush deepened, his voice had taken on a huskiness that Eddie was particularly fond of - but soft too as he stammered - "...T-that.. I don't know.. I m-mean that's wrong.. l-lying...c-cos ..its it's wrong...and.. d-dirty w-what.. t-this.." His voice faded to a whisper, "I.. am so .. goddamn... dirty."

Eddie felt his cock twitch - he wondered exactly why Steve thought he was so dirty.

"Is there a specific ...reason you think you're so ...dirty.." Eddie leaned in as he said the word dirty.

Steve drawled softly, "Mhmm... I... keep thinking about.. I shouldn't .." He let out a shaky exhale and then brushed his fingers against his own throat, squeezing.

"What.. do you think about...Do you want me to call Jonathan and...cancel? Hmm? Then you can tell me..." Eddie said softly.

Steve looked at him - briefly, his eyes were like a Baby deer's all wild and anxious - Eddie could smell the fear. Almost taste it.

They both just stood there quietly, Eddie waited - waited for him to answer, or run - or push him away. He fully expected it - Steve's mood could shift, could change as quickly as the wind shifted direction. He didn't touch him this time, Eddie was a patient man. He could wait.

Steve let out a slightly heavier exhale, and then he said softly, "Okay...then, his number is right ... right by the phone."

Eddie murmured, "Okay my darling boy."

Steve got all flustered again, and Eddie smirked he headed for the kitchen - watching as Steve pushed himself away from the wall - and disappeared into his bedroom.

***

When Eddie had finished telling lies to Jonathan Byers - Steve still hadn't come out of the bedroom. He waited a few more minutes - and then Eddie moved quietly - he could hear an odd sound, like someone gasping for breath, or almost choking for air. 

He panicked, not something that Eddie was really known for doing. But the sound was peculiar - and he pushed open the door to the younger man's bedroom - seeing something that he was not expecting to see at all. Eddie just kind of froze in place. The room was kind of dark - had a distinctively musky scent, and a slightly acrid smell of boy sweat and cum.

It wasn't unpleasant, not to him. But that wasn't what got his attention and had him frozen in place.

Steve was propped up, or resting back against his pillows - his pants down around his ankles, as he masturbated - hand around his cock. He had a white silk scarf wrapped around his throat - that was then tied through the white wrought iron bars of his head board. 

It was essentially strangling him - cutting off his air supply - but he could control it - the pressure, there was just enough tension for him to ease it, or make it more intense.

Eddie didn't know whether to be alarmed, or aroused - he'd never seen such a peculiar thing in his life. 

Steve eased the pressure and he grunted dirty and breathless, eyes opening he saw Eddie and started to cum, in hot wet pulses against his belly, shaking with it and then he bit down hard against his own arm. 

It was brutal and violent - and he was punishing himself. 

He felt like he was witnessing something both profoundly disturbing, and yet beautiful all at once. 

Eddie felt a rush of emotions. 

Steve was sweaty, flushed and despite the fact that he'd cum - the younger man was still aroused. He was staring at the wall - and breathing out in harsh breaths.

Eddie moved closer, and Steve let out whimper - tears welling up in his eyes, and he tried to cut his breath off again - but Eddie stopped him, "...No.." He murmured.

He sat down beside the younger man - leaning in closer -  Steve breathed out harshly not looking at him - and then he whimpered. 

Eddie kissed him hungrily - it wasn't slow, it was deep and ravenous. He claimed Steve's mouth with his tongue - the younger man let him, Steve was unsure - but he did kiss back - wanting and searching out Eddie's tongue - he was craving Eddie's kiss just as much, wanting to be devoured, consumed. - Steve wanted more as Eddie pulled away.

He took the scarf, freeing it from Steve's neck - but then he shifted the material and tied Steve's wrists to the bars of the head board instead.

It still gave Steve room to move his arms, but he couldn't get free unless Eddie let him go. 

Steve breathed out slowly, and Eddie stroked his fingers down, brushing against Steve's happy trail, and then he curled his hand around Steve's cock.

Steve writhed a little, and he whimpered - "..Your...hands.." His eyes closed and Eddie murmured, "My...hands.." 

He whispered, "...want your hands on me..." 

Eddie stroked Steve slowly, and Steve let out the sweetest, softest little moan of his name - Eddie murmured against his mouth, "You do hmm?"

"Y-yeah... oh...you.. have... real pretty h-hands.." Steve said breathlessly and Eddie curled his hand a little tighter - teasing his thumb over the head of Steve's cock - making him moan huskily, dirty as he writhed and bucked his hips. 

Steve tugged at the scarf - and Eddie murmured, "...No...I'm not going to undo it... not yet.." He worked his hand, pumping Steve's cock, slick with precum - he kept teasing and stroking, and Eddie pulled his hand away - Steve whimpered, just staring at Eddie.

Eddie breathed out slowly, soft against Steve's face, making the younger man shiver - then he murmured - "...When you...ran away from my house the other night.. did.. you like what we did.."

Steve said shakily, "Y-yeah..." He looked at Eddie - he was exhaling out in those soft shaky little breaths, and Eddie said huskily, "Do you want to do it again... now.."

"N-now?" Steve asked, he watched as Eddie rubbed his hand over his cock - through his pants. 

"Yeah.." Steve said softly, biting on his lip - and Eddie undid his shirt, "Yeah?" He murmured.

Steve was tugging on the scarf and Eddie said huskily, "You...can't run away this time.."

Steve bit against his arm again, watching as Eddie undid his pants - he was getting anxious, scared - wild - he wanted to run away, and yet he had no way of being able too.

Eddie took his pants and underwear off - the younger man's face, made Eddie's cock get harder, Steve looked utterly terrified. He was all shaky and flustered and red - and he was staring, and Eddie murmured - "I'm not going to hurt you.. I promise, It'll just.. feel better...without our clothes."

He shifted closer, moving so he was laying above the younger man - the air in the room was hot - a little stuffy, the fan was still going but it really was only shifting the stale hot air around - doing nothing to cool it down. 

Steve let out a soft gasp as their skin met, making contact - Eddie murmured softly - "You can tell me if you want to stop, or don't like it.. okay?"

Steve was staring at Eddie from under his lashes - hands curling above him - but he was the one that licked at Eddie's mouth, a tentative - soft little flick of his tongue. Eddie moaned, and opened his mouth, letting Steve inside - he wanted to let him do this, let him kiss him - it was delicious. Knowing that Steve wanted it. Wanted him.

Steve stoked his tongue against Eddie's - tentative, a little unsure - nervous. And then Eddie deepened it - slow and torturously good - savoring every stroke and sweet whimper that he coaxed from the younger man's mouth. The way that they both moaned - the soft breaths.

The wetness as they broke apart - the chasing for more. Steve tugged harder on the restraint - and Eddie sucked on his bottom lip - he wanted to bite it - but he licked softly again, both of them sharing their breath.

Eddie slid his hands down - moving them against Steve's hips, curling Steve's legs up around his waist.

Steve moaned into his mouth, as Eddie rocked his hips down into Steve's - their bodies meeting, their cocks rubbing together. They were kissing dirty and deep - addicted and wanting more, it didn't feel like it was enough. Eddie rocking his hips, both of them slick and wet with precum, their skin sweaty too - the heat of the room, the heat from their skin.

Steve's voice sounded like it was full of grit as he growled out breathless, "Please...please.." 

Eddie nearly came on the spot - just from that alone. Steve was breathless, pleading softly - against his mouth, desperate and Eddie was addicted to the sight of him coming undone - he felt the younger man's body trembling, his breath catching as they shared their breath - his face - bliss washed over it, something so beautiful - just the way it washed over him - the orgasm slamming through his body and Eddie felt Steve cum, he held him - as it violently shook him apart.

Steve's tears making him whimper and Eddie whispered breathlessly - "It's alright my darling boy... I've got you... just let it go.. let it wash over you.." He rolled his hips - and Steve tugged almost viciously on the scarf, still trying to catch his breath, but Eddie moaned and he came in thick warm ribbons against Steve's sweaty skin. The slick, damp slide of their sweat and cum. 

Eddie hadn't had such an intense orgasm just from doing something like this in years, probably never. And he done it twice this week already.

Steve breathed out softly, and Eddie gently gripped his chin - kissing him deep and slow, savoring the sweet taste of his mouth - he felt like he was an addict that couldn't get enough - Steve's voice was all rough as he said, "...M'all  sticky.." 

Eddie murmured - "Sweaty too.." He licked Steve's throat and whispered against his ear, "..You taste sweet, hmmm every taste I get I want more.."

The younger man shivered and he whispered, "...Can.. I.. taste you?" Steve let out a shaky exhale, and Eddie tilted his head back - giving him access to his throat. 

Steve brushed his mouth softly first, then he licked - Eddie's eyes closed and Steve licked again, he sucked softly - he said in his husky soft rasp, "You...taste good too.." 

Eddie's cock twitched against Steve's stomach, and he murmured - "...Why were you...doing that around your throat.. touching yourself.."

Steve breathed out shakily, and then he said in his breathy rasp - "I...d-don't know.." He had his eyes closed and Eddie curled his fingers around Steve's throat - squeezing ever so gently. Steve's breath caught and he stared at Eddie from under his lashes.

Eddie stared at him quietly, and then he reached up - and untied the scarf, pulling it free slowly - Steve moved his arms, and then he tentatively stroked Eddie's face. They both exhaled - breathing together and then Steve was sliding his fingers into his hair.

Eddie let out a soft, little moan and Steve whispered - "...Your hair is pretty.."

He felt himself smiling, and he murmured - "You think so hmm?" Eddie kissed Steve softly, just brushing his lips - and then the younger man murmured, "Mhmm... you're...pretty.."

Eddie whispered, "You're beautiful."

The younger man was blushing as Eddie opened his eyes, and then he moved his hand - shifting, he arched his body just slightly - and Eddie watched as Steve stoked his fingers against his belly, though their cum - and then he licked it from his fingers. 

Eddie let out a soft, little growl - and then he kissed Steve hungrily - tasting it in his mouth, making the younger man whimper into it - because Steve's arms were free - he held onto Eddie, his fingers stroking against his back, and then he dug his fingers into Eddie's ass, and moaned into his mouth. 

It was the thing, that started them off all over again - Eddie breathed out slightly heavier against Steve's face - and Steve gasped out - "Don't stop." He was staring up at him, those beautiful eyes - Eddie said huskily, "I won't..." 

The fact that Steve was looking at him, that they were touching - Eddie knew it might only be just this moment - it may not happen again, he'd savor it - Steve was a fragile and a volatile creature. Wild and unpredictable. Eddie didn't want to tame him - he wanted to harness him, show him how to be... free.

"You...feel good..." Steve whispered, a beautiful blush on his face and Eddie whispered back, "So do you..."

They rocked together slowly, and Steve was touching his fingers - Eddie let out a soft moan - and Steve said in his raspy voice - "...D-does.. it.. do I.. m-make you feel good, w-when I t-touch you?"

Eddie said softly, "Yes my darling Boy, my pretty boy - ...you make me feel so good."

Steve buried his face in against Eddie's neck and he licked - and whispered, "...I want too.. I want to make you feel good too.."

Eddie felt the heat curl inside his belly, he murmured - "You do, hmm you don't have to be afraid of this.. of me... of what you want.."

The younger man was quiet, he curled into Eddie and then held on a little tighter. The energy was shifting, Eddie could feel it - they weren't really rocking together - he shifted and then laid on his back, still holding Steve close - but it gave him the freedom to move away should he want too.

Eddie smiled, a soft little smile - staring up at the ceiling, as Steve curled his body in - almost like he was trapping Eddie with his own, they tangled their legs - it was hot. They were still sweaty -arousal stirring again for them both - but they just laid together, sweat cooling on their skin. 

He stroked his fingers lazily - up and down Steve's back - and the younger man breathed out hot - curling his fingers against Eddie's chest. 

Eddie let out a soft little contented noise, and Steve shivered - then he bit softly against Eddie's collarbone and Eddie smirked up at the ceiling. He licked his lips - as Steve sucked against his throat. He tilted his head back, giving him more access - and Steve let out a soft little moan - and then bit down, sucking harder and Eddie let him. 

Despite the fact that Steve appeared timid with intimacy, Eddie realized that Steve knew by instinct alone that Eddie bearing his neck and letting him suck his bruise - his mark, was giving him permission and it was giving him access.

Eddie wasn't denying him anything. Steve licked over the hickey, and Eddie gently gripped his chin - Steve tilted his head back and said softly, "Bite me...I.. want... d-do it t-to me.."

Eddie didn't reply with words, he just leaned in and did exactly as Steve asked - sucking against his neck and biting down - leaving his mark.

Steve slid his fingers into Eddie's hair and he let out a soft, sweet little noise. Eddie licked over the bruise - and Steve laid back down, against his chest, Eddie could feel his heart beating, calmer - and he stroked his fingers lazily slow - Steve's breathing evened out - and Eddie knew that Steve was falling asleep. 

He placed a soft kiss against his forehead, and then stared up at the ceiling again.

The quiet clang of the fan the only noise in the room - his own eyelids feeling heavy - he too could feel the heaviness of sleep come to claim them both.

Chapter Text

Steve sat silently in the darkness - staring at Eddie while he slept, he was laying on his belly - hair spilling down his back and half across his face. He reminded Steve of a sculpture - some kind of statue of an angel. He was beautiful to look at. But Steve knew that he was dangerous. He sent something off - a warning bell? A screaming raging something inside him and he didn't like it. 

This man was a threat, to the facade that he had built up around him. He was capable of pulling it all down, the entire thing. A threat that he had to eliminate - extinguish. Something that didn't belong. 

He did things, made Steve do things - dirty, sinful things. And he would keep doing them, because he made him do them. Breathing out sharply - Steve stood up and then he walked out of the bedroom. Sweat clung to his skin, making it kind of luminous. A light sheen - he'd pulled his pants back up - but it was so hot that he almost couldn't bare them on. He filled a glass with some ice, and then grabbed his bottle of Bourbon, taking it with him as he went out onto the porch.

Steve sat in the swing - he lit a cigarette and took a drag. The air was just as hot outside, he poured some of the alcohol into the glass filled with ice and then took a long sip - filling it back up again and licking his lips. He was sitting in the dark - the only light came from the kitchen, as he sat there he started thinking about the two murders - the details of the cases, the crimes - the second one though, he breathed out softly. 

His thoughts turning back to what Eddie had said in the car. About them being an Ode to him, a Love Letter. To get him to pay attention. 

Why would the killer want his attention? Steve felt a strange twist in his belly, almost like a longing - he closed his eyes, why would he feel a longing - but that's what it was. A longing to feel the attention of someone that was capable of something so violent? So dark? What was it about the two murders that were similar. They'd both been killed brutally, but then displayed - like they were art, the flowers - the removal of their organs.

Steve's breath caught in his throat - the second time all the organs were gone. The first time - they'd been left behind, but the Heart had been bitten into. Steve's eyes opened and he whispered, "The second time you took them, because you're eating them." He breathed out in a rush of air. 

The realization, made Steve's heart beat a little faster in his chest - he took another pull from his glass, the ice clinking against the sides. He took another drag on his cigarette and exhaled lazily. "Why didn't you take the first victims..." He let out a soft little noise in his throat, Steve heard him - before he felt him. The creak of the wood on the porch. 

"Why are you sitting out here in the dark Steven." Eddie's voice was raspy from sleep, that lilt of his accent made Steve curl his fingers against the inside of his thigh. 

Steve's own voice was rough and husky, and he drawled lazily - "Because I don't mind sittin here in the dark.. I don't need the damn light on." 

Eddie had pulled his pants on, he sat to the side of Steve - watching him - the light from the kitchen shining on him. "...You want a drink?" Steve licked his lips - holding up the bourbon. 

"I...sure, do you have another glass?" Eddie asked, looking at him.

"Naw.. I don't, you can use mine.." Steve put it down next to him and filled it back up. 

Eddie took a sip, and then he said huskily - "...It's nice out here, quiet."  

"Mhmm.." Was Steve's reply, and then Eddie added - "How long have you been out here Stevie.." His voice soft.

"Long enough." He shifted his leg, rocking the swing slowly - and then he held the cigarette out. "I do most of my thinking.. out here in the dark." He murmured it quietly, watching as Eddie took a drag on the cigarette, Steve added - "Why... are you like this around me, quiet - like you... I don't know.. I've seen you around other people.. and you don't act like this."

Eddie exhaled slowly, taking another drag - "What do you mean?" He was staring directly at Steve - even though it was too dark, for him to know whether Steve was looking back at him from the shadow. Steve wasn't in the light like Eddie was.

"I mean... that you are loud, you're obnoxious - you are the total opposite around other people, I seen you. But when you're.. around me, you ain't like that.." Steve growled at him - "So.. which one of you, is real." 

That seemed to catch Eddie off guard, like he hadn't been expect Steve to come out with it. 

"I don't know what you mean." Eddie said politely, but he took another sip of his drink.

Steve slammed the bottle down on the table. 

"I done told you, don't treat me like I'm stupid - you have two faces, this one you have when you're around me - and then the one you have out there with them." Steve said quietly, but he was angry. It wasn't the raging anger of someone that lost control. It was anger that was controlled - reigned in.  "They all like that version of you, loud and colorful and ... you're a fucking show man .. a goddamn performer on a stage - with your fancy suits and your hair - and your goddamn dinner parties.."

Eddie let out a soft breath, and he said - "And so what am I like when I'm with you?" His voice softer, deeper.

"You are still hiding shit, you're still ...not being yourself, but then you are at the same time. But you're quieter, softer - more calculated - dangerous.." Steve's voice was rougher, softer - "...You don't .."

Eddie murmured, "You like this version.."

"Mhmm.. yeah.." Steve said quietly, taking a drink from the bottle. "I don't like the showman... too loud, and brash."

"No... you like me this way... because I told you Steven, we're the same.." Eddie said huskily, "You... like the dangerous quiet... calculated version - because that's what you are."

Steve didn't reply to that, he just fished out another cigarette and then offered one to Eddie - but it was the older man who lit them both, his eyes meeting Steve's.

"Cat got your tongue hmm sweet boy?" Eddie said with a smirk.

Steve said quietly, "Naw.. I just.. don't know what you want me to say to that.. you think I'm dangerous and calculated, why... do you think that?"

"Well I could ask you why you think that about me too?" Eddie said, amused - "Maybe there is nothing dangerous about me at all, and with you I just feel comfortable - and with everyone else I don't so I go over the top."

Steve smirked in the darkness and he drawled softly, "...Is that what it is?"

Eddie let out a soft laugh, and he took a lazy drag on his smoke. 

He said huskily,  "No.. not at all, you're a very clever Boy - I told you, you're the mongoose - everyone looks at you like your fragile, like you're broken - like you're someone that needs to be fixed. I look at you Stevie, and I just see someone that has never had a chance to truly be free to express who they so desperately want to be. You're not broken my Darling, you're just trapped inside yourself.. and you need a way to get out... out of your head, so you can be you."

Hot tears spilled down Steve's face and he breathed out shakily - closing his eyes.

Eddie murmured, "You've had people trying to fix you you're entire life, haven't you pretty boy?"

Steve didn't answer, he just let out a heavy exhale - and then he let out a shaky noise and Eddie's hands cradled his face suddenly. The older man was right there. Knelt down in front of him, "You are so afraid of being who you so desperately want to be... that you're suffocating. You can't breathe - you are trapped inside your own mind, your beautiful mind with all the things that frighten you..." Eddie said softly.

He whispered back, "...I don't w-we shouldn't t-talk about t-this."

Eddie murmured softly, "You can tell me anything, talk to me about anything, I won't tell a soul. I want to prove it to you. So.. I'm going to give you the report that I wrote, for Jim - the assessment. I've got a copy in my office at home, the original actually. I never wrote anything that could have been used to make him come to the determination of taking you out of the Unit. I promise you Stevie, having you there - that's..  I mean .. I got to ... talk to you three times a week, it was the only way.. I could."

Steve felt the heat in his face, and he said softly - "..You wanted to talk to me?'

"Of course, when I first joined the unit - remember when I would sometimes come and sit in the back of your classes - while you were giving your lectures?" Eddie murmured, his fingers gently brushed Steve's face.

"Mhmm.. yeah, I remember - and.. sometimes you would be talkin real loud in the cafeteria with Nancy.." Steve muttered, frowning at that - "...I hate her." He added.

Eddie let out a soft laugh, and then he murmured - "I.. hated her because she was your...uh girlfriend." 

Steve snorted softly, but he was blushing again - "...It was nothin like.. uh.. I don't know - I told you, she was just trying to get in my head. Plus.. she had a thing for Jon - was secretly going after him, he's .. kind of like a brother I guess - or he sorta used to be? She.. ruined that as well." 

Steve went quiet, and Eddie murmured - "I didn't realize that." 

He scratched his neck, "I.. met Hopper when I was fourteen years old - uh he was a cop back then.." Steve shifted - sliding out of the seat he headed back inside - taking his smokes and the bourbon with him, and Eddie stood up, following him. 

"..Him and Joyce, they.. helped me." Steve grabbed another glass and the one he'd given to Eddie - adding some more ice, and then he filled them both with Bourbon. "Jim was a cop in New Orleans, he got called out, to search for me - I was missing for two weeks." 

Eddie said quietly, "You were missing for two weeks?" They both got up and went inside, the both of them sitting down on the day bed in the corner of the kitchen. 

"I ran away .. from the home I was in - and so I was in the swamp, hiding out - living out there in a abandoned church." Steve was just staring down into his glass, body tense - jaw tense. 

Eddie murmured softly, "And he found you because he was the cop on duty?"

"Uh.. he was the cop that got assigned to figuring out who killed my parents way before that... he just kept an eye on me, or tried to - I got shipped around all the time, never stay in one place. I .. was always a problem, so.. they'd send me back." Steve's voice was raw, and hard - he barked out, "I...ran away because I didn't wanna go back to the big home - I was.. I got picked on a lot."

"So.. you knew him before you were fourteen?" Eddie murmured, he reached down - and gently stroked his fingers against Steve's arm.

Steve tugged his hand away, "..I guess." He shrugged - "I just.. he was always trying to fix me. Even before him - someone always was."

He looked at Eddie, and Eddie let out a soft breath - staring back. 

"...You don't wanna fix me?" Steve said quietly, but he had those haunted eyes.

"No.. no Stevie, I just want you to be free - and happy." Eddie whispered it as he sat a little closer. 

"I...don't know what that even means." Steve muttered, heat in his cheeks. 

Eddie said softly, "If you stop running from me, I can show you."

Steve lowered his head - his hair falling into his face. Eddie murmured against Steve's ear - "You fascinate me.. not because I want to study you like a lab rat, but because you're interesting and beautiful - and dark, and wild... and you make me feel things - things... that .." He breathed out slowly, and he whispered - "Things that I didn't think I could feel. I ... look at you and I see someone so beautiful, and you're mind is ... the way you think and how clever you are. Everything about you Stevie. You excite me.."

Steve shivered, and he tilted his head a little - his blush back full force. "Sounds like you've been studying me.." He whispered it and Eddie murmured, "Well yeah.. but.. observing.." He smirked and Steve whispered, "Mhmm.. creepin on me and watchin.." 

Eddie whispered, "But you've been doing that too, haven't you... watching and creeping on me - and.. you've managed to one up me, because I had no idea you were doing it.." He cradled Steve's face and then he murmured against Steve's mouth, "I.. will have to give you the gift I have for you next time."

Steve let out a soft little breath, and he whispered - "You...really do have a present?"

"Yes, I do sweet boy.." Eddie kissed Steve softly, and Steve whispered - "We shouldn't keep ...doing this."

Eddie licked softly and Steve let out a soft little gasp. "Why not.. Hmm.. because you think its dirty?" Eddie growled softly, "Kissing me... is dirty?"

Steve whispered, "...I.. It's sinful, this...kissing.. and.. oh god.. oh god naked.. being all naked and.. doing.. that. I'm.. so filthy.." He closed his eyes tightly.

Eddie smirked and he murmured, "Oh... so are you saying that you don't want me to touch you, to kiss you... and you don't want us to be naked, grinding together while we're hard - coming.. together.. you don't want that?"

Steve gasped out softly, "N-no c-cos it's w-wrong.." 

"Yes... and dirty, and sinful.. you said." Eddie said huskily, "You don't want.. that?" He licked over the hickey on Steve's neck and whispered - "Don't want my tongue in your mouth?"

Steve was fidgeting, and Eddie smirked - whispering against Steve's mouth, "You could have said no at any stage and I would have stopped. But... you didn't want to stop did you, hmm? I mean, I found you... with that scarf around your neck, your pants down and you were touching yourself - while choking yourself."

Steve's eyes opened, and he stared at Eddie.

"You were fucking into your hand, and biting yourself - and strangling yourself. Sadistic behavior - dangerous behavior Steven." Eddie's voice more serious, he added - "What if you hurt yourself, cut off your oxygen, and got into serious trouble?"

"I ..know what I'm doing.." Steve growled it out - his pupils blown. "I've been doing it ...for a long time."

Eddie curled his hand around Steve's neck, and Steve leaned into his hand - 'You could choke me and I'd beg you to do it harder." Eddie breathed out sharply, having not expected that answer.

"I told you, it doesn't work - it.. never did unless.." He suddenly stopped - and then he shoved Eddie way from him. 

"You... you stop!" He yelled it - and Eddie stayed calm. 

"You stop trying to get in my head, stop making me tell you things!" Steve lashed out and hit at Eddie - but Eddie grabbed his wrists and then he pinned Steve down against the hard floor.

Steve was breathing hard, eyes wild - not looking at him, "You get the hell away from me!" He was fighting to get free.

"No..." Eddie said quietly, he moved over Steve - staring down at him. Then he slid his hand down into Steve's pants - smirking as he found him painfully hard.

"Stop.. stop." Steve breathed out harshly against Eddie's face. 

Eddie slicked Steve's precum, up the length - working his hand fast, tugging him out of his jeans. Steve let out dirty, soft grunts - as Eddie kept going. 

"You're a liar, hmm you get hard for me... I make you hard - and I make you wet." Eddie said huskily - Steve's eyes met his, and Eddie said "Yeah.. look at me, look at me while I make you cum.. right here on the floor in your kitchen."

Steve grunted, his fingers clawing against the floor - and Eddie sat back a little, Steve looking at him he spat down against Steve's cock - and the younger man tilted his head back, biting down on his arm hard - Eddie leaned in and he said huskily, "It doesn't matter how much you pretend you don't love this.... you're going to cum for me, I'll be burned into your skin - when you close your eyes, its me that you see... isn't it - has been for a while.." He stroked his spit slicking Steve's cock even more, and he said huskily - "Who goes and ties a scarf around their throat and masturbates while someone is at their house, you're a very naughty boy... I should spank you.."

Steve cried out, coming suddenly - violently, and Eddie moaned softly, "So beautiful, good boy Stevie - let it out... cum for me.."  He leaned down and the licked Steve's um from his belly, lapping it up and swallowing it down. But then he gripped the base of Steve's cock, and sucked him into his mouth - Steve whimpered, over-stimulated and he curled his fingers into Eddie's hair - his cock already getting hard again in Eddie's mouth.

"Shit... shit.. no..no." He grunted softly, breathlessly Steve moaned - "I'm gonna burn in hell.. you're.. oh.. oh.." He was making soft - sweet little noises, and Eddie moaned around Steve's cock. he curled his fingers against Steve's hips, and slid them under - Steve bucked, fucking into his mouth and Eddie moaned - letting him, wanting him to do it.

Steve was panting - and Eddie took Steve's cock all the way in - to the back of his throat, Steve gripped his hair - and came for the second time down his throat. Eddie swallowed, getting every drop - and then he pulled back slowly, Steve stared up at him - flushed and breathless and he said huskily, "....T-the hell w-was that.. you.. you put me in y-your...m-mouth." He was both painfully shy about that, and aroused - and looking at Eddie, like he couldn't understand why he'd even want too.

The innocence of this beautiful boy, mixed with everything else - Eddie let out a soft little laugh and he kissed Steve's blushing cheek. 

"I.. know, I told you... I want to taste you.. every part of you." Eddie's voice was breathless, and Steve's blush deepened. "Oh..." He said softly. 

Eddie shifted, and then he helped Steve to his feet - as he tugged Steve's jeans up, he murmured against his mouth, "...Did you like it?"

"Mhmm.. y-yeah.." Steve whispered, but he shivered and Eddie said softly, "Do.. you wanna eat? Or... do you wanna go back to bed.."

Steve whispered softly, "...I.. need to sleep, you... you can sleep in the spare room." He brushed his fingers against Eddie's mouth, "...I.. no more of this...right now.."

Eddie said huskily, "Okay.. hmm. But.. I can behave and not touch you, if you want me to stay with you." 

Steve was blushing and then he whispered, looking at Eddie properly for the first time since earlier. "I.. wasn't talkin about you.."

Eddie actually grinned and he let out a soft laugh, "Oh.. I see." 

"Mhmm.." was Steve's reply. Eddie didn't listen though - he suddenly lifted Steve up into his arms, catching him off guard again - "...I don't want to stay in the spare room." He said softly, "I.. want.. to stay with you.." 

Steve let out a soft little sigh, "Okay.. then... but no funny business - gotta sleep, or Jim is going to have a nervous breakdown if I don't go back in there tomorrow. I... gotta sleep." He said softly. 

Eddie smiled a softly little smile, carrying Steve back into the bedroom. "I'm sure we can behave ourselves and get some sleep - hmm we slept well earlier, didn't we?" He asked softly. 

Steve whispered, "Yeah... yeah we did." He let out a soft little breath as Eddie set him back down to his feet. Eddie kept his eyes on Steve's face as he undid his pants and stepped out of them. 

The younger man followed suit, pushing his jeans back down and then they climbed back into Steve's bed. Eddie gently pulled Steve in closer, and Steve looked at him quiet - like he wasn't quite sure if it was okay, but then he curled his body into Eddie's. 

"Hmm.. that's better." Eddie murmured. Steve let out a soft little exhale, relaxing into him and Eddie murmured "We still need to have our dinner party for two, I know you're coming back into Quantico tomorrow, would... you like to have dinner with me?"

"Yeah.. We can do that." Steve said softly. 

Eddie stroked his fingers against Steve's back, and they paused - as Steve whispered, "...Are you queer?"

"Yes Steven, I'm queer." He replied quietly, then he resumed stroking his fingers. Steve let out a shaky little exhale - and Eddie could feel the wetness of tears - he just kept stroking, staying quiet - and then Steve said in a very soft voice, almost inaudible - "I think I'm a queer too."

Eddie brushed his lips against Steve's temple and he whispered, "It's okay pretty boy, my sweet boy.. there's nothing wrong with you."

He didn't reply, and yet he didn't push Eddie away - he wasn't running. Steve was trembling, and Eddie realized how scared he was. He whispered, "Don't be frightened, I told you that I want you to be free to be who you always wanted to be... I.. maybe its wrong of me to say this, but... I don't want you to be afraid to want me...it may sound selfish, maybe it is a little. I don't mean it to sound that way.." 

Steve turned over and he faced the wall instead - and Eddie whispered - "Do you want me to go to the spare room?" Steve reached back and then he pulled Eddie's arm around him. 

"No." He said softly, Eddie knew he was still crying. 

"Okay..." Eddie murmured, pressing his lips against Steve's shoulder and then he curled in closer. 

Steve was silent - but Eddie knew he wasn't asleep. "...I..never wanted anyone to touch me before though." Steve said suddenly, and Eddie let out a soft breath - he liked knowing that, liked hearing it. 

"Just... you.." Steve said softer. "Only.. y-you."

Eddie nuzzled his face in against Steve's hair and he said huskily, "I like knowing that its just me.. only me.." That made Steve shiver and Eddie said softly, "Because I don't want anyone else touching you... I don't want anyone else kissing you... only me... just me.."

Steve let out a soft little noise, and then he whispered shakily - "...Only you..." 

Eddie held him closer, and murmured - "Close your eyes my darling, relax - no more tears... hmm? Get some sleep, I'm here - I won't let you go. No bad dreams tonight." 

Steve was biting on his hand, and Eddie knew - he could tell by the trembling in his body that Steve was still crying and trying to hold it back, hold it in.

"Don't be afraid to just let go." Eddie said huskily, "I'll catch you, I'm right here - my arms around you." He felt Steve hesitate, and then he whimpered softly - and shifted, curling in even closer and burying his face in against Eddie's chest. He let out a soft little rumbling noise, "That's better." He murmured, "Come cuddle close with me."

Steve was breathing him in, and Eddie let out a slow exhale - it made him ache whenever he did it - Eddie was being driven mad by Steve in the best ways. He felt the younger man shiver and he reached down - pulling just the sheet over them. 

Steve's fingers gently curled against his chest, and he whispered shakily - "It's nice.. you smell nice." Eddie smiled softly and he murmured - "You think so hmm." Steve nodded yet, and then he whispered, "So... good.." He sounded sleepy, and Eddie chuckle softly - "Go to sleep my darling."

Steve pressed in closer at that, and Eddie murmured, "Sweet dreams." There was no reply this time - just a soft expel of breath, and Eddie smiled - soft little smile, pleased with himself, because he was winning the heart of the boy he'd had his eye on for a while. He just knew he was.

You'll be mine, and I'll be yours.

Chapter Text

Twelve year old Steve had gone to confession alone one day, ducked into the confessional booth and leaned his aching head against the screen and whispered, Bless me, Father for I have been sinned against. Hot tears had fallen from his eyes, as his lips had formed the words.

That is not how the Confession begins, the Priest had replied - and some of Steve's hope ebbed. But he had persisted - My mother kicked me in the stomach and made me throw up. My father slammed my head against the wall. Can't you help me? 

Bad boy, telling lies about your parents. Don't you know you must obey them? If they punish you, it is because you have sinned. The Lord says honor they father and they mother.

WHAT ABOUT THEM HONORING ME? Steve had shrieked, slamming his hand against the flimsy wall of the confessional - a hot spike of pain shooting up his already broken arm. Raking the curtain back - bursting into the priest's side of the confessional. Steve had yanked up his shirt to display the technicolor bruises and belt marks across his skinny ribs.

WHAT ABOUT THIS?, MOTHERFUCKER - WHAT DOES YOUR GOD SAY ABOUT THIS?

Staring into the priests startled face, seeing the trace work of broken veins deepen from red to purple - the weak watery eyes flare with pious anger, and knowing sickly that there was no help here, that the priest was not really seeing him. That the priest was as drunk as his parents had been last night. 

Steve had been hauled from the church and told not to come back. He'd collapsed on the stone steps - and sobbed there for an hour. Then he got up, hawked an enormous goober on the steps and he'd left with a silent pain that went deeper than his bruises, and abrasions - all the way down to the wounded soul that the Catholic church would never touch again. 

Steve had thought it would have been nice to see Father Tomas hanging and burning and bleeding from the eyeballs. He'd run away from home - one of the many times that he had. He didn't want to go back, he'd scrounged up enough money to buy a muffeletta - he ate it while sitting on the steps of a local charity - licking the grease from his fingers. Then he'd gone diving for clothes. 

Finding a jacket, a pair of army pants that were cut off at the knees - a t-shirt that had JFK grinning broadly while his brains exploded over the material. And a pair of faded red converse high-tops completed his ensemble. It was perfect to run away in - He'd hidden out in the abandoned Baptist Church for two weeks - refusing to go to the care home - the foster parents weren't his parents. They were all the same - they were always the same, abusive - drunks.

Steve hadn't expected Detective James Hopper to be the one to find him out in the swamp lands. Hadn't expected him to be the one that would drag his ass back into the world. But he had - literally kicking and screaming and fighting him like a wild animal. Steve had stopped verbally communicating after the previous "foster" parents - the mother had tried to drown him in the bathtub - he wasn't going back there. 

Detective Hopper, had said he could go live with him. That had raised a few eyebrows - a single man looking after a feral child that had deep psychological issues. People thought it was fucked up and weird - and Jim Hopper well he had his own issues. He'd been to Vietnam, he'd lost his own child to cancer - his wife left him. He drank too much and did a lot of pills - and yet, he provided a relatively stable home. 

But Steve was only there briefly - till he got shipped off again. 

Jim was always trying to get him help - get Doctors to talk to him, to fix him. Nobody ever could fix him though. Steve couldn't stand being touched - didn't make eye contact - didn't like being cornered - lacked the social skills most people had. He'd scream for hours if someone touched him - would get violent and lash out. Steve never spoke about his real parents - or his sister Didi. He said he didn't remember - he said he had no memory.

Jim Hopper, knew he did - he knew he did but he just refused to talk about it. He'd seen Steve's drawings - his sketch books. Steve had seen everything that happened - Jim was sure he knew everything. But Steve wasn't talking about it. 

***

Three years later when Jim had moved to Virginia - he'd got a phone call from the courts - saying that Steve had emancipated himself from the ward - meaning he was no longer a ward of the state. Which meant that Jim couldn't keep track of him as easy as he had done previously. 

He had managed to track him down though - Steve was living in New Orleans, he was living in a third floor apartment in the French Quarter that overlooked Rue Madison, one of the two smallest streets in the Quarter. And Jim had been impressed, the kid did it all on his own - he was selling his art work, but working at Cafe du Monde. He was flourishing all on his own - and Jim had been surprised. It was like he'd taken to life on his own and ran with it full noise.

Yet he was still that awkward odd creature - he had even made friends, with a girl name Selena, some black kid name Dougie - and then a flighty blonde haired kid name Garrett. Jim thought that maybe Steve and Garrett were queer for each other, although he never mentioned it - they'd just given him that impression. Which again surprised him, because he didn't think Steve was capable of actually having interaction with people. 

It was when he'd realized that some of what Steve's behaviours were? They were a coping mechanism, he chose to push people away because he didn't want anyone getting to close. He had walls up as high as they could get - and he didn't want to let anyone in, to see behind the walls. Jim realized that the kid was hiding shit, burying it deep - and he also realized that Steve Harrington was extremely intelligent. 

He'd pushed for Steve to enroll in classes at the University - even though he was only fifteen years old, he'd passed all the entrance examinations - they let him in. 

By the time he was seventeen years old - Steve graduated with honors. Jim had started working with the FBI - and Steve got a job - then Jim headed up the BAU - and Steve came to work with him. He was the most intelligent person Jim had ever met, he operated in a way that no other person did. They'd solved so many cases because of Steve. 

But then shit turned dark for the younger man and he started getting broken - mentally broken. And Jim hadn't known how to fix that - he'd tried everything. 

Steve had become friendly with his step-son Jonathan. And again Jim couldn't help but wonder if there was something else going on between the two of them - Steve had been twenty-two at the time, and him and Jonathan had been pretty much attached to each other. Jim hadn't asked any questions, it wasn't his business - but he did wonder.

Then there was Nancy Wheeler. 

Steve had shown an interest in her - the first time he'd shown an interest in any girl, but then that went sour - after it was discovered that Nancy and Jonathan had been sneaking around together. That was two years ago - the end to whatever had been going on with Steve and Jonathan, no more friendship - Steve became even more reclusive - burying himself in his work at the BAU, and teaching. 

Jim had been surprised he'd even agreed to that. 

But Steve became more and more withdrawn - and then he started drinking. Showing up drunk off his ass - and Jim had to get him some help. So he'd called Dr. Edward Munson in for an interview - and asked him to join the team, but also - to assess Steve, to give him some sessions and make sure he was actually up for working. 

Edward had told Jim that Steve was a high functioning Autistic, but that he had extreme empathy. That he was able to put himself into the mind of the actual killer - Steve had pretty much told him the same thing in many of their private conversations. Edward seemed to think that Steve was perfectly capable of doing his job - as long as he continued to see Dr. Munson. He did believe he had some serious issues - but not that he wasn't capable.

Jim had gotten a second opinion - the other Doctor thought that Steve needed to stop. That the job would eventually cause him to have a complete breakdown - potentially leading to a psychotic break - or a suicidal ideation. Jim didn't mention to the second doctor - that Steve already had tried to take his own life in the past. The second Doctor's opinion was the one that Jim chose to go with, he had a feeling that Edward was a little too attached to Steve and that his professional opinion was being clouded by his personal one. 

Steve was removed from the unit - and Jim found him the job as Chief of police in Woodville. But ... the BAU Unit was not the same without Steve. Jim just didn't expect Steve to ice him out of his life afterwards - the younger man had refused to talk to him, he didn't want to see him. He didn't want to see Joyce - he'd already refused to see Jonathan and nobody knew why. 

So when the murders started - Jim was relieved to have Steve back. Just not relieved to see him so lost. 

***

Steve was leaning against the standing desk - he pushed his glasses up his nose, his hair falling into his face - and he was focused on the floor in front of him. Nancy was talking softly with Eddie - and Jonathan was talking with two of their other team members - they were all waiting for Jim to join them. 

Steve was fidgeting - moving his fingers, and pacing a little - he didn't realize the room had gone quiet - as he muttered in French under his breath, so he could talk to himself - without anyone knowing what he was saying. He paused - and then started writing on the board. 

It was fascinating to see him work - the way he would focus and then pause - his fingers on one hand, moving like he was conducting an orchestra. 

"He's a genius, even if he is an asshole." Nancy muttered softly. 

Eddie let out a soft laugh and he just watched - Nancy was watching Eddie, "You like him... don't you professor." She still referred to the older man as that - even though he hadn't been for a while. 

"Yes, I find him fascinating, although - not the way I suspect you did.." Eddie said quietly - and Steve suddenly let out a loud, "Quelque chose ne va pas avec la viande." (something wrong with the meat)

Eddie raised an eyebrow, and as Jim came into the room he said hoarsely, "Sorry I'm late..." He looked at Steve, a small smirk on his face - "English... would be useful to the rest of us peasants that can't speak Creole." 

Steve just blinked and then he said in a raspy voice, "Sorry... just thinkin.." 

Eddie licked his lips a little, his voice soft as he said to Steve in regular French - "Tu es jolie quand tu te perds dans tes pensées." (You're pretty when you get lost in your thoughts.)

Steve stared at him, briefly - but still at him, his cheeks getting pink and then he let out a soft huff - sitting in his seat and Jim raised an eyebrow at Eddie - "Of course you can speak French..." He laughed softly, and Eddie just smiled.

"What did you say?" Nancy asked - and Eddie said, "For his ears only." 

Steve let out a soft little noise, and then took a sip of water. 

Nancy clicked her pen and Jim looked at Steve - "So... your thoughts Steven."

"This... killer - he takes the organs because he is doing something with them... he's eating them." Steve said calmly - Jim said "Pardon? Don't tell me you just said what I think you said." 

"He eats them... the organs, he'll probably eat other parts of them too - he'll keep doing this.." Steve wasn't looking at anyone. "The first victim - the one who's organs he didn't take - she had something wrong with her... he left them behind because he couldn't eat them."

One of the Forensic team, Lucille - who had done the autopsy - said quietly - "She had cancer, was riddled with it - liver cancer that had spread to the rest of her organs - it was even in her brain." 

"So... this killer is eating their organs?" Jim said - looking at the photos.

"Yes - but.. this killer is also a performance artist, they want to make  a statement with their display - showing off.. they don't think of the victim as a person - they're... like a pig, to be slaughtered for their meat - he doesn't care about the person. He does care about the show afterwards."

Everyone in the room was quiet and Jim said - "What's the show about."

"...It's a dance, its... a way to lure you in - with the beauty of it, the fleeting beauty - like how the night jasmine only blooms briefly at night - the fragility and ephemeral artistry of his performance is there one moment and gone the next. The second one - he was making a statement, fuck your God - your God is empty - your God is not hearing your prayers, but I do..." Steve's voice was soft. "I'm here... and I'm not going to stop."

Jim growled out, "Jesus... so you think there will be more."

"Of course there will be." Steve said quietly. 

He knew that Eddie was watching him again - he didn't look up, he just stared down at his papers in front of him. 

"...We need to find out if there has been any other... murders or homicides that could be this killer." Steve added - "They don't necessarily have to be as artistic as these two.." 

Jim said "Alright - but why is he doing this weird shit, posing them and... the flowers...what the hell is that about."

Steve let out a soft exhale, and then he said softly - "...I haven't figured that out yet." His face remained perfectly neutral - his eyes shifted a little - and Eddie was just watching him, dark eyes twinkling - and Steve murmured, "...The flowers are night jasmine."

Jim said, "The shit that grows like wildfire in your neck of the woods?"

"Mhmm.. all over the swamplands and Georgia.. you know its the original flowers they used for jumpin the broom?" Steve let out a soft laugh, "They used to use em for Hoodoo spells to thank the spirits too." 

Nancy said quietly, "You.. always know these kinds of things."

"I remember things I read as a child... I can't help that I don't forget anything.." Steve barked back.

Beside him, Jonathan whispered - "...She isn't attacking you Steve.." 

"Shut the hell up you dumb sonofabitch.." He growled at Jonathan, "You ..really are dumb, she spreads her legs for you and you go mental in the head." 

"Shut the hell up Steve!" Nancy hissed at him. 

"Just cos I didn't wanna touch it - probably woulda caught a disease off you... damn whore." Steve muttered darkly. 

"That's enough!" Jim barked at them. "Children!"

Steve smirked, and then he sneered at Nancy - "You think I don't know about your little fake pregnancy lie?" He muttered at Jonathan - "She tried to say I got her pregnant you know... too bad that fell flat, I would never..." 

Nancy got up and stalked out the room, "Not if you were the last goddamn human on the earth would I touch that nasty cooch." 

Jonathan said quietly, "Goddamn it Steve." 

Steve snickered and then he muttered, "Oh come on now... you should be aware of what you're getting yourself into - your Daddy ain't gonna tell you shit, she's a nasty little bitch - she probably been cheating on you too Jon.." 

Jonathan leaned in closer and he hissed, "You gotta stop that shit.. you promised me you would." 

"I ain't promisin you shit boy.. get the fuck out my face." Steve kicked Jonathan's chair and he just snorted.

"Jesus Christ Harrington - have you been drinking already?" Jim growled out.

"Why do you care? I ain't been drinkin - I was... doing other things... last night.." Steve shrugged and Eddie was hiding his smirk behind his mouth. Steve's gaze lifted and he looked at Eddie - "Mhmm.. other things..."

Eddie said in a soft calm voice, "Are we done here for today? I have things I need to do.. Till tomorrow Jim?"

"Yeah... that's fine - I'll go through all the stuff you've given me Steven - why don't you go home and sleep it off." Jim huffed.

"Why don't you kiss my ass." Steve growled back, "I told you I ain't been drinkin... and anyway - even if I have? The hell does it have to do with you? You ain't my Daddy..." Steve started putting his stuff into his bag. "Jesus... Christ.. mind your own damn business." He gave Jim the finger and then stalked out of the room. 

"Oh dear.." Eddie said quietly, "Seems you've upset him."

Jim glared at Eddie, "Thank you for that Edward." 

Eddie laughed softly, and then followed Steve down the hall - but he didn't try to catch up. Steve glanced over his shoulder - not having eye contact, and Eddie smirked - they were meeting up at his house, but Steve was in a mood. Eddie was more amused than anything. 

Jonathan suddenly came out of the mens bathroom and Eddie watched as he moved closer to Steve - the younger man lowered his gaze, growling something at Jonathan - who laughed and then he shoved Steve - who shoved him back, but Eddie felt jealousy burn in his belly - as Jonathan's fingers touched Steve's,  just casually. 

The two of them briefly touching - and then Jonathan leaned in and said something else and Steve laughed - Jonathan smirked at him and then he was walking backwards, the two of them talking - and then Jonathan made a motion like he was taking Steve's picture with a camera.

Eddie didn't like it - he didn't like it one bit. Steve was his. 

Jonathan gave Steve a wave - and Steve gave him the finger - and Eddie breathed out sharply - He was parked right next to Steve, or he'd gotten his driver to park his car there - He'd come to work with Steve. "What was that about?" Eddie asked - trying to stay calm, but his voice was curt - sharp.

"What was what?" Steve drawled lazily, "Am I not allowed to talk to him?" He let out a soft breath, they were so close - and Eddie said, "...You let him touch you." His voice was ice-cold almost.

"So?" Steve's voice was quiet, deadly calm - "You got an issue with that?"

"Yes, I don't like it." Eddie said as he breathed out sharply.

Steve said nothing, and Eddie suddenly pushed Steve up against the side of his truck - he murmured against his ear, "I don't want him touching you Steven."

"He don't touch me that way.." Steve said back, and Eddie growled against his ear, "...What way."

"All ...dirty like you touch me.." The younger man whispered.

Eddie breathed out slightly heavier and Steve whispered - "I.. t-told you ain't nobody ever.. touched me the way you have."

"You're lying.." Eddie muttered darkly, "I don't believe you."

Steve snarled and then shoved Eddie away from him. "Fuck you then.." He spat out - "..I ..ain't a queer  - you can go to hell.. I ain't a fucking whore neither.." 

Eddie let out a soft exhale, regretting bringing the topic up. "I never said that you were.." He said quietly.

"The hell you didn't!" Steve hissed, "Fuck you.. you.. stay away from me.. I.. I never should have... let you... let you do this.." He breathed out shakily, and leant up against his truck.

"He was touching you!" Eddie said calmly, "...he... acts like he ..wants you."

Steve breathed out sharply, "...He's not into me like that - he's like my brother I told you.." He was red faced and flustered, "It ain't like that.. you.. you think everything is... dirty... stop... just...stop!"

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's belly, and he said quietly - "Okay... I...I won't mention it. You're still coming to my place?"

"Nah.. I don't think I want to no more." Steve said quietly, slapping Eddie's hands away from him - "...Stop.."

Eddie tugged Steve in closer and kissed him hungrily, not giving a damn. 

Steve let out a noise in his throat - kissing Eddie back and then he hissed, "Goddamn you sonofabitch... fine."

Eddie whispered against Steve's mouth, "Yes you'll come?"

"Mhmm yeah...alright then." Steve murmured.

"Good...I'll see you there... I still have your present.." Eddie said softly, and Steve just breathed out against his face - Eddie was about to let go - and Steve tugged him in closer and whispered, "I..ain't a fucking whore." 

Eddie murmured, "I never said you were.."

"You think I am... you think I'm a whore.." Steve shoved Eddie away from him. "I told you...nobody ever touched me...nobody has ever kissed me... till you.." He touched his mouth, "You don't believe me though.." Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and Eddie said quietly, "I ...don't... Stevie I never said that.." 

"You.. think it.." Steve whispered.

"No...I don't I just... I don't want him touching you.. because I got jealous." Eddie's voice was husky and soft - "I...don't want anyone to touch you Stevie... nobody but me." 

Steve let out a shaky breath and he was fidgeting, "...I'll see you at your house.." He climbed into his truck, and Eddie got into his car - he watched Steve light a cigarette - and Eddie started up his car, he headed out the parking lot - gripping the steering wheel tight, but letting out a soft exhale when he realized that Steve was actually still following him behind him a couple of cars back. He had half expected Steve to not be coming with him. 

Chapter Text

Jealous. I don't want anyone else to touch you.

Steve breathed out softly, his fingers curling against his stomach - as he watched Eddie with the knife. He was cutting up vegetables - into a fine dice. Mirepoix - Steve knew what it meant. Eddie was showing off his fancy knife skills, Steve was pretending he wasn't paying attention - he was.

He paid attention to everything. Steve always did - he just pretended that he didn't, he was looking at the photographs on the wall - Eddie had rubbed shoulders with the Elite of high society.

He snorted softly and brushed his fingers against different bits and pieces. Things the older man had collected in his travels - Eddie had shelves in his kitchen, filled with books and trinkets - and more photographs.

Those were the ones he was looking at now - one particular photograph caught his attention. "You.. been to Cafe du Monde and you never had their Beignets?" Steve murmured, the older man let out a soft little noise.

"I.. wasn't there to eat the food." Eddie said simply.

Steve narrowed his eyes, and then he said - "So.. what were you there for?" He wondered how long ago the photograph had been taken. He brushed his fingers against it and then bit down on his bottom lip.

"I.. was there lecturing at the university." Eddie said, amusement on his face - in his eyes.

Steve said - "When.. was that?"

"A few years ago now." Eddie was humming softly and Steve said, "... and you never had the Beignets? They're famous.. I worked in that cafe.. the same one - I lived not far from there." He felt a strange flicker of warmth in his stomach.

"I know Steven." Eddie's voice was soft.

Steve breathed out sharply - "....What do you mean you know?"

Their eyes met and Eddie said quietly, "I know because I... I used to see you.. walking the halls of the campus, and at work.."

"You, were following me?" Steve's voice was raspy, and he growled out - "How fucking long have you been... doing this?"

Eddie murmured, "A while, same amount of time I suspect you've been following me."

Steve snorted softly and he muttered, "I ain't never spied on you... like that.. you've...  I left New Orleans when I was nineteen to come to Virginia... you been following me around that long?"

"No... I lost track of you... when you left New Orleans." Eddie said softly, his voice lilting.

Steve bit his lip, "...Why .... were you following me?" He asked - before raking his fingers through his hair. He's a threat, you know that already - he's dangerous. Be careful.

"...Because I know who you are..." Eddie said softly.

Steve frowned - "I don't know what you're talking about.."

"Yes you do Steven, I know who you are - the person you really are, the person you hide away.. the one that nobody gets to know or see." Eddie set the knife down - and he washed his hands, moving around the kitchen island, he stepped in closer.

"...I think once in the papers - they referred to you as Beau Harrington. That's what you were called when you were a child hmm? Your nickname was Birdy." Eddie stared down at him, and Steve breathed out sharply - his entire body going tense.

Birdy Harrington. Nobody knows that - not even Jim Hopper.

"I don't know what you're talking about." His accent was thicker, the drawl more pronounced - and he wasn't looking at Eddie. "Never heard that name before." He was backed up into the corner and when Eddie went to touch him, he lashed out and smacked Eddie's hands away.

"Don't fucking touch me." He snarled it out and then shoved Eddie away hard.

"..Why are you so angry." Eddie said quietly, "..You pretend like you're someone else, like that.. part of you was never real."

"You don't know me, you don't know what you're talking about.." Steve rasped, "Shut your goddamn mouth." He smacked Eddie's hands away again and hissed - "I don't know who that is. You don't know me."

Eddie smirked, and then he murmured - "Why... don't you want to talk about it, that's you - it's you're past, you're legacy."

"My legacy!??" Steve's jaw was twitching, and he snarled out - "You wanna know what my legacy was? You think you know?"

Eddie shrugged, and he said -  "I know that you have a story, - one that you tell everyone, but it isn't the real story."

Steve pinned Eddie to the wall by his throat, his grip vice tight - eyes not looking at him. "My legacy, is that my parents are dead - along with my baby sister Didi, her head was smashed up, till it was just pulp and mush - same as my Mama, my legacy was being left behind - their skulls being cracked open and crushed - their blood all on me. I ain't got no goddamn legacy! I got a new life!  A new make-believe fantasy life! That's my legacy! Don't you know that from reading my file? You sonofabitch! I was to be beaten, abused - tormented - living in hell and never being able to escape it! I can't escape it no matter how much I tried!"

He let go of Eddie's throat, the older man rubbing it - and Steve hissed out, "My legacy is death and ruin... that's what my legacy is.." He had tears blurring his vision. "I want you to... stay out of my way. Stay away from me.." He said hoarsely.

"...I saw an article about... it in the paper, about your...family.." Eddie said, his voice husky and soft - "...Did you kill them Birdy?"

Steve breathed out sharply, "I told you! I Don't know what you're talking about!" He rasped.

"Your father, your mother..." Eddie asked - he reached out, this time he curled his fingers against Steve's chest.

Steve breathed out harshly, "...Why the hell are you.. asking me that? No I... don't remember.. who killed them. I was nine years old when they ..." He just breathed out in a rush and muttered, "I don't remember."

"Did you kill your sister Didi?" Eddie cradled Steve's head, "Did you... do it Steven?"

"NO! NO I DIDN'T!" He yelled it, breathing out harshly - "S-s-stay.. away from m-me."

Eddie pulled him in closer - "Did you?" He murmured again.

Steve breathed out harshly - "No... no I didn't.." He was shaking, his entire body was shaking.

Eddie whispered - "Do you know who did?"

Steve was struggling to breathe, e said hoarsely - "No... no I don't know! I don't know..." He tried to hit Eddie again, but the older man held Steve's hands behind his back - 

Eddie said quietly - his voice husky and soft, "Tell me what you did Stevie.."

Steve let out a whine, a pained noise - he said tearfully - "I didn't.. do nothin - I didn't do nothin!, I.... ain't bad... I'm not... you shut up..." He bit against Eddie's throat and whispered, "Shut the hell up - I'm... not a monster.. I'm not.."

Eddie said softly, "You are though, aren't you... you're a dark - twisted monster, what did you do to them Stevie.."

"NOTHING! I DID NOTHING!" Steve yelled it, he was like a wild animal - trying to get free - Steve let out a snarl.

Eddie said softly, "...Yes you did, when they found you - you were covered in blood - hiding in the utility closet, with a hammer in your hands - Jim has never shown you the police report he wrote has he? But I have it, a copy of it... would you like me to show it too you? Once I found you again... I have been keeping an eye on you. I lost you again - till he brought me into the BAU. I've been following you for a long time Stevie..."

"...Fucking let go of me.. let go of me you fuck!" Steve growled out - breathing hard.

Eddie, bit his throat - licking softly over the bite. "Hush.." Eddie murmured, "I... am not your enemy Stevie..."

"I don't want you to show me nothin! Nothin!.." He was breathing hard, and he whimpered as Eddie bit him. Steve gasped out - "...I... didn't - I don't care what it says... what you say - what they say.. anyone says... I didn't do anything.."

He turned his head away, and Eddie gently gripped his chin - "Look at me.." Eddie said quietly.

Steve hissed, "Naw.. I don't wanna look at you."

Eddie tilted his head, he said softly - "Look at me Stevie.."

Steve breathed out harshly, and Eddie breathed out against his face - "...Come with me, I want to show you something.. give you your present."

Steve made a soft noise in his throat, and Eddie murmured - "You'll like it, I promise.." He stepped back, and then he murmured - "Come.." 

He headed out of the kitchen, and Steve paused - but then he followed after Eddie, the older man lead him through the house - down the dark hallway, and into his bedroom.

Eddie pushed Steven so he was sitting on the end of Eddie's bed, and Steve fidgeted - his fingers moving in that way they did when he was fixated - he was making odd little clicking noises.

Eddie said quietly - "I'm not going to hurt you Stevie.."

Steve made a strange little noise - and Eddie opened the drawer up, he placed a long black box in Steve's lap and murmured - "I found this before I came to the BAU, it was... in Chicago, in a gallery... I believe it was one of the last things you painted before you disappeared."

Steve made a soft noise, his fingers stilling - but Eddie knelt down and he lifted the lid off the box - "You called it Birdland." Eddie said softly.

He stared down at the framed images that he'd drawn. They were from his graphic novel. The last series before he'd stopped - the episode had been the murder of his parents. Three extremely graphic images. The first was of his father - in the bathtub, his head caved in - brains and gore scattered everywhere - the second his mother, in a doorway - jaw broken, teeth smashed out - skull caved in - and the last image was of Didi, or what was left of her - she'd only been four years old when she'd been murdered

The only image that wasn't true - was the one of his Father.

Her body mangled - beaten to the point where she'd no long been recognizable.

"Why did you draw it.. and sell it as a comic book series?" Eddie asked quietly - "Did it not... disturb you?"

Steve just stared at the drawings - fingers moving again and then he let his eyes close - "Didn't feel anything, didn't matter - didn't feel it..." He muttered - "He.. didn't take me with him.. he left me there." Steve mumbled, and then wiped at his face, tears blurring his eyes.

"Stevie?" Eddie asked quietly.

Steve muttered darkly, "No... no I can't.. you can't... stop it.." Steve whispered, he was rocking now - back and forth, and he whispered to the wall - "He loved me, but he left me behind.. he did a bad.. bad thing... I got the flowers... flowers.. I tried to bring her back.. Didi... I tried.. but.. but I couldn't.. couldn't bring her back - her.. she was too... broken.. too broken... her brains.. she was smashed up - smushed into the mattress... I tried though.. I tried.."

Eddie let out a soft exhale, "...Stevie, I.. won't tell anyone.. just.. tell me what happened."

"No... no I can't..." He whispered, "I can't tell ..."

Eddie took the painting, and then he set it down on the table, he curled his fingers against Steve's face - "No you can tell me.."

"NO! Don't.. touch me!" Steve hit Eddie's hands, and he skidded away - "...I can't.. can't trust you..."

Eddie chased after Steve and he pinned him against the wall - "You can, you can trust me.." They were both breathing heavier, and Steve looked at Eddie - "... No...no you have been spying on me... writing lies about me - .. you.. you wanna tell more lies..." He said shakily, "You.. want them to lock me up."

"I don't... I want to help you, free you... I told you that Stevie..' Eddie said softly, his voice getting husky.

'...I can't tell you - I don't remember! I don't remember!!" Steve whispered tearfully, "He... never came back, he never came back - they...took me.. took me away - hurt me.. they always hurt me and he never came back!" He was sobbing softly, and Eddie breathed out against Steve's face.

"...I didn't know where you were." Eddie murmured softly.

The weight of his words clung to the silence around them and Steve breathed out shakily - tears making him breathless, his breath catching.

Eddie whispered - "I... didn't know how to find you for the longest time... they kept you hidden, locked away.. I looked for you.. my sweet Boy.."

Steve breathed out shakily, and he whimpered.

Eddie whispered, "You remember me... from before now.. don't you?"

They looked at each other quietly, and Eddie murmured softly - "It was a long time ago.. you were only nine years old... I was twenty, I hadn't been here for very long.. your Father let me stay - I was learning English, your mother was teaching me... do you remember?"

Steve was biting on his fingers, not saying a word - his eyes wild and dark - big like a baby deer's. His breathing harsh.

"...You were such a sweet little boy, so pretty..." Eddie murmured softly, "So curious.. your Mother said you never spoke, your Father used to ... call you names - but you'd come and sit with me, I'd read to you, you... liked to look at all the things I'd collected. The taxidermy - you liked to help me find dead animals... do you remember? You weren't afraid of me, you weren't afraid to be close to me. Your mother said nobody had ever been before."

Steve let out a soft exhale, and Eddie murmured - "I found you one day... you'd done something,.. to a Deer - you'd killed it yourself. You shot it first... the thing was bigger than you, do you remember?"

"No.. no... no I didn't... I didn't do nothin.." Steve rasped out - "You... you're making up lies...Eddie.." He leaned in closer and whispered, - "Don't make up lies, I didn't do nothin bad..."

"You cut it open and took out its organs... you were trying to climb inside of it Stevie... you were trying to eat it raw..." Eddie murmured softly, "...You cut its heart out, I asked you what you were doing and you told me something... Do you remember what you told me?"

"Nuh-uh... I... don't... don't remember.. that wasn't me." Steve shook his head and he whispered, "It wasn't me... I'm not bad.." He let out a soft noise - then he whispered against Eddie mouth, "I cut it out for you because you looked hungry.."

Eddie breathed out sharply, That was exactly what he'd said. "Yes.. my darling boy - my sweet boy... that's what you said - You wanted me to eat the heart.."

Steve shivered, and he said softly - "I.. didn't.. I didn't do that Eddie... it's wrong.."

The older man whispered, "They broke you - tried to break you... they tried to put you in a cage - but you're still in there, still as wild and dangerous - as you always were - I want you to be free again." Eddie brushed his thumb against Steve's mouth.

"You... did it... you did it ... you killed them.." Steve whimpered softly, "You left them for me - it was you.."

Eddie whispered, "Yes, left my love letter to you...I wanted you to remember, when did you remember?"

"I... I don't know..." Steve breathed out slightly heavier and Eddie murmured - "....I...want to give you your present.." He licked at Steve's mouth, and Steve whimpered - pulling Eddie in closer, the older man kissed him possessively, until they were both breathless - and Eddie said softly, "I want you to tell me... what you did.."

"No... no I didn't... do anything.." He whispered against Eddie's mouth.

Eddie lifted Steve up, holding him as he carried him back to the kitchen. Steve curled his legs around Eddie's waist, whispering, "I didn't do nothin - I didn't."  Eddie set Steve down so he was sitting on the counter top.

Eddie said huskily, "....I won't tell anyone, if you tell me Stevie..." He opened the fridge, and then took out the container, shutting the fridge again - he opened the container and murmured, "I have something sweet for you."

Steve was biting on his fingers, and Eddie took the lid off the container.

Eddie said huskily, "Chocolate mousse... but it has a special ingredient.." He got a spoon - "Do you want it now?" He asked.

"You.. gonna let me eat desert first?" Steve said softly, looking at Eddie from under his lashes - looking all sweet and innocent.

Eddie smirked - "Yes Baby... hmm.." He took some on the spoon and then fed it to Steve - who ate it, while looking at him from under his lashes.

Eddie watched as Steve's pupils dilated, the flush to his cheeks - he licked his lips and whispered, "More?"

Eddie felt his cock twitch, he was so hard - that he could barely stand it - he fed Steve another bite, the younger man moaned softly - "You... you put something, .. that's... I .. can taste it - ..what is that..." Steve was panting softly - and he curled his fingers into Eddie's hair and whimpered, "What.. is it.."

Steve's nostrils flared a little as he breathed out harder and Eddie got some more - scooping it up with his fingers, Steve sucked Eddie's fingers into his mouth - and moaned as he ate it.

"The heart, blood - fear you can taste the fear..." Eddie's voice was husky, and he licked at Steve's mouth once he'd finished eating from Eddie's fingers - tasting the mousse and Steve's sweetness.

"You....left them to me, the love letter to me..." Steve whispered, and Eddie murmured - "Yes... my sweet boy.. It was me."

Steve murmured softly - "...Because.. you were.. the Shadow man.."

Eddie let out a soft exhale, "Yes...Stevie, I am the shadow man from when you were a little boy." He was surprised to hear Steve called him the Shadow man, when had he seen him?

Steve stayed quiet for a little while, and then he murmured - "...But they said I made you up, that... you weren't real.."

"You know I'm real, I'm still real - I'm right here." Eddie said softly.

"Why did you leave... why didn't you take me with you!" Steve said shakily, he whispered against Eddie's mouth - "...Why did you leave me all alone? Why!"

"I wanted to take you with me, but.... after your parents - I.. had to leave, go and hide." Eddie said softly, "...They.. took you and I didn't know where to find you."

Steve had tears in his eyes and he said shakily, "You.. left me."

"I didn't want to leave you." Eddie murmured.

Steve breathed out harsher - tears spilling down his face - "....They said I made you up, that you weren't real.." He was looking but not seeing - lost in a memory Eddie thought.

"...I.. had to be careful." Eddie said softly.

"They told me I was sick, sick and dirty... bad.. bad for.. talking about you.." Steve was all flushed and tears blurred his vision. "...Was bad.. you touching me... touching me but I still.. wanted you too?"

Eddie whispered against Steve's mouth, "It.. probably was, hmm.."  He nuzzled his face against Steve's cheek - "...I tried to find you my sweet Baby.."

"...No... no you didn't.. you just left me." Steve whispered, "You... were gone and I... made it up - made it up... you're not him, he wasn't real.. he  was just my shadow..."

Eddie murmured, "I.. am real, I've always been real. You're real, and so am I.." He dug the spoon into the mousse again and held it out to Steve, who ate it and made a soft noise in his throat - Eddie murmured, "You're still so pretty..."

Steve let out a soft little breath, and Eddie said huskily - "...I was the only person you let touch you.. even then, ..you would sneak into my trailer."

Steve whispered, "You left me." Tears welled up in his eyes, and Eddie said softly - "I never stopped trying to find you."

They both breathed out against each others mouths, and Steve let out a shaky exhale as Eddie dipped his finger into the mousse instead and held it to Steve's mouth - he sucked it in, and Eddie growled softly, "...You know I did it for you, left you the love letter, wanted to you pay attention.. I wanted you back.. you don't belong in Woodville doing nothing.. caged up and hidden away."

Steve shivered, and Eddie whispered against his ear - "You...should be free, free and ...doing the thing your good at.."

"No.. I'm not.. stop.." Steve rasped softly, "I'm not ..bad...I ain't.. like that.."

"You are.." Eddie murmured, his voice husky - "You've been like that since you were a little boy, your darkness...called out to mine.." Eddie sucked against Steve's bottom lip and Steve gasped out, "...You...you're the shadow man.. I...shouldn't... you told me secrets.." He whispered - "He.. brought me things.."

"I did yes, hmmm.. did you keep them?" Eddie gripped Steve's chin, "Did you keep them?" He asked again.

Steve stared up at him and Eddie murmured, "...Show me next time we're at your house...I want you to show me that you kept them, because I know you did."

Eddie smirked, and he whispered - "You liked them, the trinkets. You liked them too much to throw them away."

Steve said softly, "...I.. still got them." He was breathing out slightly heavier, "I couldn't throw them away... never.."

Eddie murmured - "...What did you think, when you saw my love letter to you.."

"...Beautiful, ... I wanted to put... my hands inside.." Steve was trembling, his face pink and he gasped out - "I wanted... to..."

"You wanted to eat them... didn't you." Eddie murmured, "I know... I know how hungry you are.."

Steve let out a shaky breath, and Eddie smirked - "...So hungry... aren't you my love, my sweet boy.."  Steve pushed Eddie away, and he bit down on his bottom lip.

 "...Why don't you come and sit, lets eat." Eddie said huskily - "...I have something special for you."

Eddie held out his hand, but Steve smacked it away - he licked his lips and watching.

Steve sat down, he was fidgeting - but then he muttered, "I...can't do this."

"You can't do what?" Eddie asked softly, he watched Steve quietly - the younger man wild eyed and beautiful.

"I'm....not, I..." Steve rubbed his hands over his face, and Eddie smirked - "You're not?"

Steve let out a slowly exhale of breath, and then he muttered - "I'm not ..." He just looked at Eddie - "...I can't."

Eddie murmured, "You don't even know what your saying, hmm you will remember.. my beautiful boy.." He gently stroked his fingers into Steve's hair - "..You tried to forget, because it was too painful to remember, too painful to remember that you aren't like everyone else - and they tried to change who you are.."

Steve whispered, "...They broke me."

Eddie murmured, "No... they tried too."

They both went quiet, and Steve let out a shaky exhale - Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, "I can... help you remember - I can show you.. bring you out of your shell, let you be free again - do you want that? Want to be free... like you were once before? You weren't afraid then... You're hiding, don't hide..."

Steve gasped out softly, "You're bad... you're bad, I shouldn't listen to you.."

Eddie smirked and he murmured, "But you always had so much fun... don't you remember?"

Steve lifted his gaze, and Eddie said huskily - "...You...don't have to hide from me, I want you to show me... show me who you are.."

Shaking his head, Steve muttered softly - "No... No its.. bad, I'm wrong..."

Eddie whispered like he was telling Steve a secret, "You can be dirty, I won't tell... You can whisper to me all your secrets...I'll keep them safe.."

Steve let out a soft little noise, and then he whispered back - "...I should tell, tell them what you did...to that girl... to Gareth... you.. took them apart, its so wrong Eddie.." He breathed out heavier against Eddie's mouth, "You're so wrong, so bad..."

Eddie murmured, "You wanna see? You wanna put your hands inside don't you... I know your secrets... you want the blood all over you."

Steve let out a noise in his throat and he whispered, "Hush.. no.. no I don't.. oh no.."

Eddie smirked, "Yeah you do, you want to feel my hands on you.." He whispered, "The blood on your skin.. don't you."

Steve shook his head no and Eddie murmured, "Yes... you do - you'd crawl inside if you could and eat your way out."

Steve was breathing harsher, and Eddie stroked his fingers against his stomach, "Little Birdy...if you tell Jim, or... someone else they'll lock me up - you'll lose me again, is that what you want?" He brushed his fingers against Steve's mouth, "It is?"

"No...no.." Steve sucked on Eddie's fingers and Eddie murmured, "No.. that's not what you want, we have to keep it a secret.."

Steve whimpered as Eddie pushed his fingers into his mouth, and Steve sucked on them - "...You look like an angel, ..but you have a devil inside you - don't you?" Eddie said softly.

"Nuh-uh... I'm.. not bad." Steve whispered, and Eddie smirked - "Okay, you're just an angel?"

Steve nodded, and Eddie murmured - "So you don't want to do bad things?"

"No no bad things.." Steve said softly - "...I don't want to do those things, you don't know.."

Eddie murmured, "Did you let him touch you? Jonathan?"

Steve shook his head and whispered, "Nuh-uh no."

Eddie gripped Steve's throat, and Steve leaned into it - "You're not lying to me?" Eddie asked.

Steve whispered - "No... not lying.."

They stared at each other, and Eddie pulled back - "...I want you to tell me what you did to your parents.."

Steve's eyes darkened, and he growled at Eddie, "I told you... I didn't do anything!" He breathed out harsher - and he looked away, tilting his head and staring at the ceiling intently. 

"....I know you're lying to me Steven, I want you to tell me.." Eddie said again, his voice as calm as ever. 

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING" Steve yelled, he snarled at Eddie - "Shut the f-fuck up."

Eddie smirked, and he curled his fingers against Steve's face, "...Why did you kill them? Hmm?" 

Steve breathed out harshly, eyes so dark they were almost black. "I...didn't."

Eddie smirked, and whispered - "Liar.."

Steve was all tense, his jaw twitching - but Eddie moved away and he let out a soft laugh - "...You don't fool me Birdy."

"Stop....stop calling me t-that.." Steve's voice was cold, void of emotion - yet rage burned beneath the surface. 

Eddie went back to chopping up his vegetables, his hair hiding his face. "...Why did you stop drawing? You're so good at it.."

Steve was staring up at the ceiling, his fingers dancing and then he spat out - "I don't know what you're talking about. I... don't ..."

Eddie watched the younger man quietly, and then he murmured - "...Was that blonde boy, the one in New Orleans - did you let him touch you?"

Steve went still, and he just stared down at his feet - scuffing his boot on the floor.

"What was his name? Garrett? Garrett Dubois? Oh... no that's right, he went missing... didn't he... seems people come to unfortunate endings or.. they vanish into thin air around you Steven.. strange, do you think Jim hasn't figured that out for himself?" Eddie asked, innocently - but he saw the way that Steve's jaw was twitching. 

"...He got himself a girlfriend too... didn't he? What was her name, ...Annaliese?"

"...Shut your fucking mouth or I'll shut it for you." Steve said darkly. It was like a switch flicked - and the darkness took over. 

Eddie let out a soft little chuckle, "Hmm where did you go after that? Did.. Jim take you home? Back to Virginia? You... disappeared it was.. difficult to find you. You weren't using your real name anymore.." He kept his voice soft.

Steve breathed out harshly, "...I went to college." He muttered. "I started... going to church when I lived with Jim and Joyce, I had... had to go to see Doctors, and.. get help." He spat the word out like it was poison. 

"Help... did they help you?" Eddie asked quietly. "Or did they just give you lots of pills to quiet the noise in your head."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he picked up a vase off Eddies table and threw it at him. 

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" He roared and Eddie just stared at him. 

"So sick of your questions, shut up... shut the fuck up.." Steve was rocking himself back and forth, and Eddie murmured - "It just.. trapped you inside your head with the things you wanted to do... didn't it."

Steve couldn't breathe, he was panicking - and getting scared - "I hate you... I fucking hate you." He said shakily, his stomach was all in knots. 

Eddie put the piece of meat with the vegetables in the oven, and he said with a smile - "No.. you just hate what I'm saying to you."

He went into the little room off the kitchen and grabbed a broom - sweeping up the broken pieces of the vase. Steve grabbed the knife off the counter and he slammed his body and Eddie down into the floor - "Give me the knife.." Eddie murmured.

Steve just breathed out harshly, and stared down at Eddie - holding it to his throat. 

"Give me the knife Stevie.." Eddie's voice was soft, and soothing and Steve hissed out - "I'll give it to you, I'll cut you open.."

He let out a soft noise, as Eddie moved fast - and shifted them both, Steve breathed out harsh as Eddie looked down at him - "Drop it.." His voice was deadly, eyes dark - Steve let it drop from his fingers and he spat in Eddie's face. 

"That was disgusting Steven." Eddie growled softly, wiping his face - and then he raised an eyebrow and spat in Steve's face - the younger man just bucked and then writhed - getting free - he grabbed the knife again and pointed it at Eddie, "You... stay away." He hissed. 

Eddie growled, "Give it to me.."

"No... I don't wanna." Steve said petulantly, he held it tighter - Eddie smacked it out of his hand and they were fighting again, Steve snarled and Eddie pinned him against the counter - "Don't fight me, you won't win." Eddie growled it against Steve's ear, and Steve said darkly - "I'm not afraid of you.."

Eddie smirked and he whispered, "You're not afraid of me?"

Steve shook his head and said, "No... I'm... not.."

Eddie breathed out hot against Steve's ear and he murmured - "So.. go an phone Jim, tell him what you've discovered - go on... tell him what I told you... that I did it. But you should be aware.. that you wanna play that game, you'll lose.."

Steve shivered, and Eddie said softly - "I'm not your enemy, I just... want you to tell me what you did."

"I told you... I didn't...do anything.." Steve rasped back, he was shaking - and Eddie whispered, "So who did it then."

"You did it.." Steve growled.

"You think I killed your parents?" Eddie's voice was amused, and he said softly - stroking his fingers into Steve's hair, "No Baby... I didn't. You might have only been nine years old - but ... I know you did it. You're not fooling me.. those big brown eyes, that... sweet innocent face.."

Steve let his eyes close and Eddie whispered, "Did you smash your baby sisters skull in too?"

Steve breathed out harshly, and he whimpered - "No... no I didn't do it.."

Eddie pulled back and Steve moved away, he eyed the knife - and Eddie said darkly - "Do you really want to hurt me?"

"I... don't know I haven't decided yet.." Steve looked at Eddie from under his lashes.

"...Do you still take all those medications?" Eddie said softly.

Steve just nodded and then he moved away - he brushed his fingers over the framed drawings - and then he said darkly, "I won't admit to anything so your wasting your time Dr. Munson.." His voice was quiet, too quiet - and Eddie smirked, "...So you're admitting to me that there is something to admit?"

"I'm not admitting anything." Steve's voice was raspy - he pushed his glasses up, and then he lifted his gaze - "You wanna play, I'll play..."

Eddie felt his cock twitch, the younger man wasn't looking away. His jaw still twitching. 

"I've played the game for long enough, you don't know who you're playing it against." Steve said softly. 

Eddie raised an eyebrow, "And you think you know who I am? Who you're playing against?" He felt the little chill rush through him as Steve said with a smirk of his own.

"I know plenty about you Dr. Munson, you confessed to me that you committed these murders.." Steve said softly, and then he drawled lazily - "An I dunno - seems that might get you in some trouble... see I don't exist... the version of me that you think you have figured out.."

Eddie let out a soft breath, Steve wasn't hiding behind fear or a stutter. The darkness was there - front and center.

"That version he's dead and gone - you wanna fucking test me, you keep pushing.." Steve lowered his gaze again, "...I reinvented myself. You are just some high society fucker that likes to throw dinner parties and make lots of noise.. don't you know you shouldn't draw attention to yourself.."

Eddie could feel the apprehension in his stomach. 

"...You ever played a game of cat and mouse with someone like you Dr. Munson?" Steve said softly, "Naw... I don't think that you have. You're used to being in control, knowing exactly what you're doing." 

Eddie watched Steve as he raked his hands through his hair. 

"I'm something different, you ain't played with me before.." Steve said quietly. He changed the pitch and tone of his voice, becoming more emotional - "I told you, I-I'm n-not l-like y-you.." He had tears in his eyes, he looked so vulnerable and innocent. Eddie breathed out sharply, and Steve smirked - the tears gone, the stutter gone as he said coldly, "I'm a whole different kind of monster." 

"You...you knew that I did it..." Eddie said softly, he was impressed - and wanted his boy even more.

"I knew, the flowers... hmm.." Steve said softly, "You smelled like night jasmine - it was all over you... remember when I was breathing in your scent?"

Eddie murmured, "Clever boy.."

Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat, "You might not have known where I was... but I've known where you've been Eddie - I could have caught you, I made sure they didn't."

They stared at each other, Eddie was surprised to hear that. Warmth in his belly spread through him and Steve smirked - "They're going to make some discoveries... I guess you could say, hmm that it might be my ...what did you call it? My ode to you, my love letter... to you."

Eddie breathed out sharply, and Steve murmured - "Course they're going to think you did it.. well the same killer - that's what I'll tell them.." He stroked his fingers against his neck. "But.. you'll see what you're up against.. if you wanna play with me.."

Eddie bit down on his bottom lip and Steve said softly, "But I'll let you find that out for yourself... you think you own me? You don't own me Dr. Munson - nobody owns me. I was abandoned a long time ago, left to my own devices.. Jim Hopper thinks he can fix me, shit.... even you thought you could fix me.."

They stared at each other again and Steve said darkly, "You just wanted to put me in a cage with your leash around my goddamn neck."

Eddie shook his head, "No... I wanted to free you."

"Liar!" Steve hissed, "You... don't give a shit about me! You thought you could control me just like everyone else thinks they can... You left me - left me to be torn apart and broken. They tore me apart and something else got free - I ain't been like everyone else. You said I was like you? You don't even show who you are.. I told you... You wear masks... you even wear one with me... so... I'm telling you I have a mask too... and you ain't seen nothin.. not a goddamn thing.."

Eddie murmured, "But you can show me.."

Steve snorted, "Why would I want to do that..." He growled darkly. "You want to be friends? You called me the mongoose under the house... well you might be right about that.." Steve backed up and then he murmured, "You were shadows, I saw you like that when I was a little boy.. but you didn't stay - you didn't stay ... you left ... so.... fuck you."

He shook his head, "I... you stay away from me - I don't need you. I don't need anyone... I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone..." Steve breathed out softly, "...I told you to stay out of my head, and I meant it.."

Steve backed up, and Eddie said quietly - "I don't... want you to leave."

"Why not? Because I'm fascinating?" Steve said darkly, "Curiosity killed the cat!" He muttered, "I'll kill you, or you'll try and kill me - maybe that's how this will end.. But you think you can play me? Think that I'm stupid... I know you sent that bitch after me... don't even try to fucking deny it."

Eddie knew he was talking about Nancy Wheeler. 

"I know you did. And that didn't work - I would have killed her - except that she got her claws into Jonathan.." Steve breathed out slowly - "Did you fuck her?" He said quietly - jaw twitching again. "You say that you don't want anyone to touch me... you don't want Jonathan to touch me." 

Eddie breathed out sharply, "No I haven't fucked Nancy - she's ... not my type." He muttered and Steve raised an eyebrow, "...You just like little boys then?" He murmured, and Eddie frowned - "You're not a little boy anymore." He said quietly.

"No... I ain't.. you still touched me when I was a little boy though." Steve's voice was soft, "Put your hands all over me.. and I loved it..."

They stared at each other again. Eddie breathed out slowly and Steve drawled softly, "Mhmm.. It's only ever been you.. even when I'd sit in church - the priest would talk about sin... I wanted to sin with you so bad... I knew, knew it was wrong... but I didn't care."

Eddie curled his fingers against the counter and Steve said softly, "I ain't a fucking queer - I didn't do shit with Jonathan, or anyone else.. I don't like girls - I don't wanna touch their nasty pussies.."  

Steve murmured softly, "I only ever thought about you... just you. And I couldn't... do anything couldn't get hard unless I did something fucking nasty or fucked up. So ... I'm a monster - and you didn't even make me that way... I was already like that.."

"You're not a monster because you wanted me.." Eddie said quietly.

"No?" Steve murmured, "No... but I am a monster - I don't think there's much human in me.. are you Human?" Eddie just stared at Steve, and then he said - "So ... if you don't think you're human - what are you?"

Steve shrugged, "...Don't matter." He curled his fingers against his stomach - and then he muttered, "I need to go now.. I'll.. see you around hmm."

Eddie frowned and then he moved closer, "You... don't have to leave - we can eat, talk..." He said softly.

Steve leaned in closer and he murmured, "Oh so now you wanna play pretend? Like we're friends again?" 

Eddie stared down at Steve and he said softly, "You're the one that doesn't want to be friends.. that thinks I'm out to get you." He whispered - "I'm not.." 

"We'll see.." Steve muttered softly, and he looked at Eddie from under his lashes. "You're going to go running to Jim and tell him I'm not safe to be back at work.." Steve let out a soft little laugh, "I can see the cogs turning in your head - hmm... go on then, huh? Do it.." 

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's face, "I don't want to do that.. I just want you to.." He trailed off and he murmured, "I want you."

Steve smirked, and then he looked at Eddie with that sweet - innocent face - his eyes all sweet and sad, "You want me? Prove it.." He pushed Eddie away and then murmured, "Prove that I can trust you.. do something, and then maybe.... I'll believe you."

"What do you want me to do, I'll to anything - just tell me.." Eddie said huskily.

"I'm sure you can think of something..." Steve said softly, he whispered against Eddie's mouth - "You're certainly creative... hmm beautiful... show me how much you want me."

Eddie let his eyes close, as Steve brushed his lips against his mouth - "Give me a love letter that I can't ignore.." His fingers were cold as they brushed against his face. "...I'll give you one back.." Steve whispered.

When Eddie opened his eyes, Steve was gone. And Eddie was left breathless, and aching - and wanting. Exhilarated - My beautiful monster, I want to see your real face.

Chapter Text

Chapel Hill, North Carolina - in the summer of 1972 was scarcely more than a wide spot in the road. The main street was shaded by a few great spreading pecans and oaks. Flanked by a few larger more sprawling Southern homes. Too far off any beaten path to have fallen scourge to the civil war. The ravages and triumphs of the past decade seemed to have touched the town not at all, not at first glance. 

You might have thought that the place was adrift in a gentler time. 

A place where Peace reigned naturally and didn't have to be blazoned on banners of worn around the neck. You might have thought that if you were just driving through - If you stayed long enough you would see the signs. Literal ones that would hang like posters in the windows of the record store that would later become the Whirling Disc. The posters in the window swarmed with psychedelic patterns and colors - shouted crazy, angry words. 

And the graffiti on the streets; STOP WAR with a lurid red fist, thrusting halfway up the side of a building. HE IS RISEN with a sketchy, sulkily sensual face beneath what might have been Jesus Christ or Jim Morrison. Literal signs. 

Or figurative ones, like the shattered boy who now sat with the old men outside the Farmers Hardware store on clear days. In another life his name had been Jimmy Stiegers, and he had been an open-faced sweet natured kid. Most of the old-timers remembered buying him a candy bar or a soda at some point over the years. Now his mother wheeled him down Firehouse Street everyday and propped him up next to them, so he could hear their stories.

Jimmy Steigers sat quietly, he had too. He'd stepped on a Vietcong land mine - and breathed fire. It took out his tongue and vocal cords - his face was gone to unrecognizable meat, save for one eye glittering mindlessly in all that ruin. Like the eye of a bird or a reptile. Both his arms and his right leg were gone, the left leg ended just above the knee. And his Mama would insisted on rolling his trouser cuff up over it to air out the fresh scar. 

The old-timers hunched over their checkers game, talking less than usual. glancing every so often at the raw pitiful stump or the gently heaving torso. But never at the mangled face. All of them hoped that Jimmy would die soon. Literal signs of the times. And figurative ones. The decade of love was gone. Its gods dead or disillusioned. Its fury beginning to mutate into a kind of self-absorbed unease. The only constant was the war. 

If Birdy Harrington had known any of this, it was only in the fuzziest of ways. Sensing it through osmosis rather than any conscious effort. He had just turned eight years old, he had seen Vietnam broadcasts on the local news, though his family did not have a T.V. He knew that his parents believed the war was wrong, but they spoke of it as something that could not be changed. Like a rainy day when you wanted to play outside, or an elbow already skinned.

His Mama told him stories of peace marches she'd gone on when he was real small and before his baby sister Didi was born. She listened to records that reminded her of those days, times that made her happy. When Daddy listened to his records now, they seemed to make him sad. Steve had liked all the music, especially when the jazz saxophonist Charlie Parker, who Daddy had always called Bird. His Daddy - called him Birdy, his Daddy loved the song by Janis Joplin, Me and Bobby McGee. 

His Daddy's name was Robert, but he went by Bobby. Steve wished that he could remember all the words, and sing the song himself. Then he could pretend that it was just him and his Daddy driving along the road, without Mama or Didi. Just the two of them - then he could have ridden up front with Daddy - not stuck in the back with Didi, like a Baby. 

Steve had tried to stop thinking that way, Where would Mama and Didi be if not with them? In New Orleans? Somewhere in Atlanta? If he wasn't careful he would make himself cry. He didn't want his mother or his baby sister to be in New Orleans. That city had given him a bad feeling, the streets and buildings were dark and old. The kind of place where ghosts could live. Daddy had said there were real witches there, and maybe zombies.

Daddy liked to drink, and drink a lot - Mama sent him out alone to do it. But Daddy come back home with blood on his shirt - smelling like sick and while Steve huddled in the hotel bed with his arms around his baby sister. His face buried in her soft hair. Daddy had put his head in Mama's lap and cried. 

Not just a few tears either. They were big gulping sobs, that turned his face bright red and made snot run out of his nose and onto Mama's leg. That was the way that Didi cried when she was hurt or scared really bad. But Didi was only four- and Daddy was a grown man. No Steve hadn't wanted to go back to New Orleans, not then - they had wound up getting a house in Chapel Hill. 

Daddy had been upset, "Great, fucking great - we did miss the highway by a mile - we found the fucking missing mile." Steve had wanted to laugh, but his Daddy sounded like he wasn't joking. So they ended up in a run down house - out in the middle of nowhere, where Daddy had peace and quiet to do his work. Mama would drive them into town - she told him about a place not to far from there. Called the Devils Tramping Ground. 

Steve hoped they'd never see it. 

Mama said no grass or flowers grew there, animals never went there either. If you put trash or sticks in a circle at night - they would be gone in the morning. Cloven hoof prints there - had kicked them out of the way and they'd landed down in Hell. Mama said it was where the Devil walked around all night - plotting his evil for the next day. 

"That's right, teach them fucking Christian bullshit to poison their brains." Daddy had said - and Mama had flipped him the bird. For along time Steve had believed that flipping someone the bird was like giving the peace sign, it mean you liked Charlie Parker - he'd happily gone around flipping people off, till Mama had to explain it to him. 

But Steve couldn't blame the Devil for wanting to live around here. He thought it was the prettiest place he had ever seen. The buildings were old, but not scary like the ones in New Orleans. Most of them were built of soft wood, which gave them a friendly look. Mama was the one who wanted to stay, Daddy had scowled and said, "This is Buttfuckville, I hate these southern towns - you move in and then three days later, everyone knows your name - they know everything about you, I think we should push on and go to New York."

"Bobby no!" His Mama had said, reaching over and taking his Daddy's free hand, her silver rings glinting in the sunlight. "You know the car can't do it. Lets not get stranded in the middle of nowhere, I don't wanna hitch with the kids."

"No? You'd rather be stranded here?" Now Daddy looked away from other road to glare at his Mama, - his dark chocolate brown eyes, so much like Steve's staring in his Mama's pale blue ones. "What would we do here Elena? Huh? What would I do?"

"The same thing you'd do anywhere, you'd draw." Mama wasn't looking at Daddy, her hand held his - stroking over his gently - but she was looking out the window. "We find a place to rent, I get a job - you stay at home with the kids and you draw. You start doing your comics again." 

Steve knew better than to interrupt his parents while they were discussing anything. So instead he'd stared out the window - hoping that they would stay. If only Mama needed cigarettes, or if Didi had to go pee. Steve had poked her arm. "Didi? You need to pee again?"

"Uh-uh." Didi said solemnly, too loudly "I pee last time."

Daddy had slammed his hands against the steering wheel. "Goddamn it Steve, don't encourage her - you know what it means if I have to stop every hour. It uses extra gas. So you take your pick Birdy! Do you want to stop and take a piss, or do you wanna eat tonight?"

"Eat tonight." Steve had said. He felt tears welling up in his eyes - he knew that if he cried - Daddy would keep picking on him. "Then leave Didi alone." Daddy said sharply, looking at him in the rear-view mirror. They had ended up stopping, staying in Chapel Hill. 

Daddy locked himself away in his room more often than not - he hadn't always picked on him. But he had less and less patience. Mama would always be able to soothe Daddy, or at least it seemed that way to Steve. She would wrap her arms around him from behind. Stroking Daddy's chest - she would whisper meaningless soothing words in her soft southern voice. The same way that she did for Didi when she was upset after a nightmare. 

Steve wasn't able to be given that comfort - no matter how much his Mama tried. He couldn't bare to be touched - he couldn't bare to have anyone near him. In his mind, he had a framed image - captured - like a photograph of his parents under the tree outside their house on Violin Road. Robert Frederick Harrington, he was a tall lanky creature - muscled arms and a shock of thick brown hair - dark chocolate brown eyes, eyes that carried too much weight.

Haunted eyes - haunted by things that Steve didn't understand. His Mama - Elena Rosalyn Harrington, she was a delicate creature - long flowing blonde hair like cornsilk - she had dressed like a hippy, faded embroidered jeans, and a loose green shirt with tiny mirrors in the sleeves and collar. Her long hair loose and twisted at the top, It had hung half way down her back. Steve knew he looked like his Daddy, Didi was like a small replica of their Mama. 

Steve had wondered if Mama had been out there soothing Daddy, convincing him that it didn't matter if the car was broken - that it was a good place to stay. She must have. Daddy had been doing comics under the name of Robert Crumb. Daddy would let Steve read them - or look at the pictures, sometimes Daddy would let him draw with him. But then he stopped - he'd lock Steve out of the room, pushing him away. 

***

They'd been living in Chapel Hill for a few months when Daddy brought him home - a young man, foreign - he didn't speak English well at all. He knew how to fix things, and so he fixed the car for Daddy. His name was Edward, he was tall and had pale skin - his eyes were dark, dark as night. Steve would hover around in the background - but he was never brave enough at first to go any closer. Mama was teaching him to speak English. 

Eddie - he liked being called Eddie, he caught on fast - the strange lilt to his voice - Steve liked it. But he was too shy, to awkward - he couldn't go to close. Eddie helped Mama and Daddy with a lot of things around the house - when Daddy would get real drunk and start yelling? Eddie would take him and Didi out of the house - usually Mama was working. Their car turned out couldn't be fixed - Eddie and Daddy had dumped it at the wreckers - and Daddy brought home a new car. 

Their house on Violin road was big enough - and Eddie had a trailer that Daddy had got off some old man named Kinsey. Eddie was living in the trailer - their house was a big old rambling thing with high ceilings - it had kudzu growing up the outside of it. Along with night jasmine - Steve could smell it coming in through the windows at night.

Out here only the wild things were healthy, the old trees whose roots found sustenance far below the ill used lay of topsoil.

The occasional rose bush gone to green; thick and thorns, unstoppable kudzu - taking back the land for its own. Steve loved it - It was where he discovered that he could draw - even if Daddy couldn't. 

Mama got a job, working as a sales girl in a store in Chapel Hill. Daddy had his things set up in the tiny room at the back of the house - Steve knew he spent most of his time in there listening to records and drinking, rather than drawing. Steve had found an old half used sketchbook that belonged to his Daddy, there were still a few blank sheets of paper. Steve usually took Didi outside to play in the daytime, his Mama had assured him that the Devils tramping ground was far away. So Steve didn't have to worry about coming across the pacing muttering demon.

But Didi was napping, something she had seemed to do more often since they'd moved into the house on Violin road. Steve had wandered through the house, listening to it breath and move around him. He'd found himself perched on one of the rickety chairs in the kitchen, staring out the windows. The dappled light coming through the trees - when he saw him for the first time. 

The Shadow man. 

He was big, and made of darkness - wispy and soft, he had horns on his head. Like antlers - big ones. Eyes black as the darkest night. The sunlight didn't shine through him - he was a solid being, a solid creature. Steve's heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, but he wasn't afraid. He didn't know what the feeling was, excitement? Steve slid off the chair and went closer to the window, then he slid closer to the door. 

Peeking around the side of it - he could smell blood, and fear? But it wasn't coming from the Shadow man. It was coming from the deer the shadow man was dragging in from the woods. Steve had never seen anything like it - what was he? He breathed out softly, and curled his fingers against his stomach, the Shadow man didn't look his way - but his eyes were beautiful, like bottomless pools. He cracked the deer's neck effortlessly. 

Steve let out a soft little gasp - his nostrils flaring at the smell of the blood. His hair was falling into his face, the Shadow man seemed to ripple - like a breeze over water. And then he wasn't made of Shadow anymore. He was as real as him. Flesh and Bone - pale skin, and muscle - and naked. Steve bit on his fingers, it was Eddie. 

Eddie was a shadow man? A creature - something else. Something not human - something that seemed Familiar to Steve in a way that he didn't understand. 

The older man went into the trailer, and then came back out wearing pants. He strung the deer up and then he said softly, "Come... I know you're there." 

Steve froze, and he curled his fingers tight around the door frame. That lilting voice - soft and it made Steve's tummy feel funny. "Come little one, out here.. I won't bite you." Eddie looked over his shoulder, and then he said, "Little Birdy.." 

Steve felt the heat in his face, and then he stepped out of the shadow - he stared down at his bare feet. And Eddie made a soft little noise, "..You don't have to hide." Steve got his sketchbook and his pens and then he sat down on the steps, close - but not too close - Eddie gave him a soft, lazy smile - as he started skinning the deer - not bothered by the quiet. Steve didn't know what he was going to draw - Daddy had told him once that you don't think about it. 

You just find the path between your hand and your heart and your brain - and you let it flow - let see what would come out. Steve had uncapped his pen and began to draw - he had drawn what would be his first character - Skeletal Sammy. He was a skeleton but made of Shadow - he would be the first Character in Steve's later graphic novel Birdland. Sammy was half-leering, half desperate face - he wore a long black coat that hung on his shoulders like a pair of broken wings. 

He had spidery hands, and long thing legs - exaggerated kneecaps beneath stovepipe pants. 

Daddy had come in behind him, smoking a cigarette - he'd given Eddie a nod - the younger man saying to his Daddy, "It'll hang for a couple of days - but there's plenty for everyone. I can cook for all of us if you want?" Daddy had given Eddie a smile, "That sounds real nice, you're a good kid Eddie." 

Eddie had smiled back, and then glanced at Steve. 

Daddy had leaned down, looking down at his drawing - he'd rested one hand against Steve's back - the warmth sinking into his skin - and Steve had glanced up, eyes not on his Daddy's - because he couldn't do that. But he hadn't flinched when his Daddy touched him. "You draw a mean looking junkie kiddo." He'd whispered it into Steve's hair and then he was gone. Silently, like a ghost - Gone without getting whatever he'd come out to the kitchen for. 

Leaving his son half elated, or half dreadfully and mysteriously ashamed. 

Eddie had been watching, his soft lilting voice - made tears well up in Steve's eyes. "You okay Birdy?" He didn't look up - didn't move, he just breathed out shakily. One lone tear drop landed on his drawing and blurred one edge of it. He wasn't sure if it was his - or if it had been his Daddy's. 

Daddy wasn't really nice to him much anymore. He quickly had picked up his things and gone back inside without a word. 

***

The worst thing happened the following week - it turned out that Daddy had been working in his little room at the back of the house. Working on a comic piece he did for the big paper - Steve couldn't remember which one it was - but the paper rejected the story. Daddy had read the letter out loud in a hallow - empty, mocking voice. The editor telling Daddy that it had been a difficult choice, but that he didn't feel the story approached the previous quality of Daddy's previous work. 

It was the kindest way the editor could say, This is a piece of shit.

The next day Daddy had walked into town and called his publisher for his stories that were a year overdue. He had three to four episodes ready. That was when Daddy had told his publisher there would be no more stories, not now, not ever. Then he'd hung up the pay phone and walked a mile across town to the liquor store. By the time he'd gotten home, he'd already cracked the seal on the half gallon jug of bourbon. 

Mama had begun staying later and later at her job in the city. After her modelling jobs, having drinks with some of her friends from work - going to one of their apartments to get stoned. Daddy didn't like it - he had even refused to smoke the joint that Mama had brought back for him as a present. She had said that her friends wanted to meet him and the kids - But Daddy had told her not to invite them out. Mama had taken him into the city to meet some of her friends.

They were different - colorful and loud. Buzzy and clicking and Steve wasn't sure what to make of them. Daddy didn't like that either. 

Then on this particular day - Steve had stayed at home. Daddy had sat in the living room all evening - sprawled in his recliner that had come with the house. His feet tapping a meaningless pattern on the floorboards. He had the turntable hooked up and he kept playing record after record. It all ran together in a long musical cry of pain. 

Most of all Steve remembered Daddy searching obsessively for his Charlie Parker records. Daddy was drinking straight from the bottle - A moment later he'd let out a wet, rippling belch. Steve had gotten up from the corner from where he'd been sitting. Keeping an eye out for Mama's headlights. He'd started to leave the room - he hadn't wanted to see his Daddy get sick. He'd seen it too many times before, and it made him get sick too.

Steve had tripped on a loose plank of wood - Daddy had been doing home improvements a couple of days prior - but he'd stopped - nails were scattered all over the floor. Daddy was more than likely not going to finish the repairs. At the sound of the nails clinking together - Daddy looked up from his bottle, his eyes focused on Steve. 

"Birdy, what are you doing?" His Daddy's voice was raspy and soft.

"I'm going to bed." Steve had said softly.

"Thass good, I'll fixyer juice." Daddy had said, getting up. 

Mama usually gave them fruit juice to take to bed with them. When there was any in the house. Daddy got up and he stumbled past Steve - into the kitchen, slapping one hand against the doorframe - to support himself. Steve heard the bottles rattling in the refrigerator as his Daddy opened the door. 

Daddy came back, the glass was overflowing - spilling over Steve's fingers as he took it from his Daddy. He took a sip, making a face because it seemed extra bitter - but it was grapefruit. His favorite. Maybe it had started to spoil. "Something wrong?" His Daddy asked.

Steve shook his head.

"You gonna drink it or not?" Daddy rasped at him. 

Steve raised the glass to his lips, and drank half of it - and then he took a deep breath and finished it off. The bitter taste shivered over his tongue and lingered in the back of his throat. "There you go." Daddy reached out - he pulled Steve into his embrace. Steve felt overwhelmed by it - unsure. 

Daddy smelled of liquor and old sweat - dirty clothes.  Steve hugged back anyway, the side of his head pressing against Daddy's. A panicky terror flooded through him, though he didn't know why. Steve clutched at Daddy's shoulder's, and he tried to wrap his skinny arms around Daddy's neck. But after a moment - Daddy pried himself free, and then he shoved Steve away. 

He felt the twist in his stomach, the rejection made Steve flinch - and he backed up. Heading down the hallway - he passed by Didi's dark bedroom. Sometimes Didi got scared at night - she would wake up crying, having nightmares - since they'd been living in the house on Violin road they had separate bedrooms. 

It was the first time they had, Steve missed the scent of talcum powder and candy when Didi crawled into bed with him. When she would curl her tiny hand around his and suck on his thumb. She was always asleep now - didn't have many nightmares. For a moment he thought he might sleep with Didi - might wrap his arms around her and not have to fall asleep alone. 

But he didn't want to wake Didi. Daddy was being too scary. So instead he had walked down the hallway to his own room. Through the flimsy curtains he could see the lights in the trailer - the soft lamp light. He saw the shadow of Eddie moving inside. His heart beat a little faster - and Steve breathed out softly, he pushed the window up - and then slid outside. Steve knocked softly on the door, and then a few moments later, Eddie opened it up. 

Steve just breathed out softly, and Eddie said nothing - he stepped aside, and Steve walked in. It was hot in the trailer - and Eddie had fans going - the clickety clang of them was the only noise - Steve scratched at his belly, and the older boy moved - Steve crawled up into the bed at the back, and then he laid down - his eyes felt heavy, Eddie moved quietly and Steve let out a soft noise - the older boy laid down and Steve moved, laying against him. 

Eddie whispered, "It's okay..." Steve stared up at  Eddie from under his lashes, and the older boy gently stroked his hair out of his face. "Scared?" He said softly, Steve just nodded and then he pressed in closer. He curled his fingers against the older boy's stomach - his fingers sticky from the juice. "Go to sleep." Eddie said softly, curling his fingers into Steve's hair. The touch was soothing, it didn't frighten him - Steve fell asleep - soothed by touch, instead of terrified by it. 

***

They were inseparable. 

Every moment together was sacred - stolen. Eddie didn't push him away - he didn't reject him. He taught Steve all kinds of interesting things - about animals, and things in the woods. They went exploring together. Eddie would tell him stories - read him books and adventures. He took him into the city and they went to the museum, to art galleries. To the movies to see pictures. It was exciting and Steve's brain had so much more. He became addicted, not just to all the things they did. But to Eddie. 

The older boy was special. Steve knew that he was different, different in a way that nobody else was. Something else. Steve had seen him become the Shadow man - he knew that Eddie didn't know that Steve knew. But - Steve kept that to himself. He didn't want to scare Eddie away, he was scared he would leave - that he'd disappear. Eddie got roped into going to church with him and Mama, and Didi. Daddy didn't go to church - he never had. 

Steve hated going to church, he just went because he had too - but he didn't enjoy it. He would sneakily watch Eddie's face, and he knew the older boy didn't like it much either. He was always so polite, he was loud with other people - but always polite, his English was much better too. 

They were doing things that Steve knew was bad. Eddie would whisper to him that they had to keep it a secret. Steve liked it, liked that they had a secret nobody else knew about. He had shot a deer - a big one, all by himself - and then he'd cut it open. Steve had slid his hands inside - the blood felt good on his skin, he'd carefully taken the heart out - he wanted to give it to Eddie.

Something inside him, whispered to him - Eddie is hungry, this will be good for him. Steve was hungry too - so hungry. 

Eddie found him. Deep in the woods behind their house. 

Steve was eating the deer meat raw - he was covered in blood - chewing on some of the meat, while he'd attempted to try and crawl inside the carcass.  Eddie had been watching him, knelt down - "What are you doing Baby boy?" He had asked in his lilting voice. Steve had been shaking - wild eyed and messy. He had just crawled into Eddie's lap, and then whispered against his mouth - "You look hungry, I... got it for you.." He picked up the heart, and then held it up for Eddie.

The older boy just let out a soft breath, cradling his face he murmured softly - "Who are you, hmm?" Steve shivered, and he whispered - "Eat it.." Eddie looked at him, their eyes met and Steve was shaking, he held the heart in his hands, and Eddie sank his teeth into it and took a bite. 

Steve let out a soft little exhale - and Eddie said softly, "Look at you, all messy.." He murmured, "You're so hungry.. aren't you my sweet Boy." Steve nodded, and Eddie whispered, "Want a bite?" Steve took a bite, the blood filled his mouth, the taste of fear was heady and sweet and Eddie cradled his head - "You're so beautiful." Eddie said softly. 

Heat curled deep in his belly, Steve let out a soft little noise - and Eddie whispered, "We should... go back to trailer - get you cleaned up." Steve pressed in closer to the older boy and Eddie let his eyes close, "...Touch me.." Steve whispered it, and Eddie let out a heavy breath. Eddie had already told him that they shouldn't - in the darkness of the trailer, they'd touched each other. Eddie's fingers were long and elegant, his touch was always gentle - unsure almost. 

Like he was holding back, and Steve wanted him - wanted his hands on him. Desperately even if it was wrong - even if it was a sin. He didn't care - he wanted it desperately. 

"You know I can't do that here.." Eddie murmured softly, "...Not.. here."

Steve whispered, "Please Eddie.." His breath came out all shaky and Eddie said softly - "No... not.. here." Their gaze met and then Eddie stood up - he gave the heart back to Steve. "You hold that, I'll bring this." He hoisted the deer carcass onto his shoulders like it weighed nothing at all. Then he said quietly, "Come now."

They made their way back to the trailer - back to the house. Steve kept his eyes down on the ground - it had started to rain, the air was thick and hot - cloying and Eddie strung the deer up - glancing at the house. "Your Daddy's not home.." Steve just stared at the ground, and Eddie opened the door to the house, "Come.."

Steve followed him, Eddie took the heart, and put it on the counter - and then he lifted Steve into his arms, carrying him into the bathroom - where he ran a bath and then he put Steve in. Washing him - gently - his touch making Steve shiver. "You.. know how much I want..." Eddie said quietly, his voice soft against Steve's ear - "But... its ..wrong, you're just a baby.."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he breathed out harshly, Eddie said quietly, "Don't cry pretty Boy.." He let out a shaky exhale as Steve whispered, "I don't...I'm not - I'm .. " He whimpered as Eddie kissed his cheek. "I want you to touch me.. it doesn't feel wrong." Steve whispered, and Eddie whispered back - "I could get into trouble. We need to be careful." Steve let out a soft little breath, his big brown eyes full of tears as he whispered, "I'm sorry Eddie.."

Eddie murmured, "It is okay, hush...my darling."

Steve whispered, "Will you get in with me Eddie?" The older boy breathed out heavier and he whispered - "You're being very naughty." 

He stripped off, and then climbed into the tub with him - Eddie was hard and pressed up against him. Steve was blushing and he said softly - "...Does it hurt?" Eddie muttered softly, "Hush now... no.. it doesn't.." He washed Steve's hair, fingers curling in and Steve let his eyes close - "That feels nice.." He whispered. 

Steve let out a soft moan as Eddie washed him, the slippery soapy wetness on his skin - the older boy pulled him in close and then rocked them together. And Steve let out a so breathless noise as Eddies' hard cock rubbed up against him. He stared at Eddie from under his lashes - as the older boy grunted softly, coming - and Steve whispered, "What is that?" Eddie let out a dirty noise - his voice like gravel as Steve scooped it up off his tummy and into his mouth.

Eddie quickly got them out of the tub, his hands were shaking as he dried them off. "Stop asking me questions, saldus kūdikis." (Sweet Baby) Steve was soon all clean and in fresh clothes, Eddie pulled his jeans back on and then he was drying off his hair. It was long - and Steve curled his arms around Eddies back, nuzzling his face into it. "You don't like my questions?" He said softly.

"Yes you know I do - just... hush." Eddie murmured and Steve let out a soft little giggle. 

They went back to the kitchen, and Eddie looked at him - "Are you still hungry?" He said softly and Steve nodded - Eddie gave him a smile, "...Okay." He then started chopping up vegetables - and then he was sauteing them off in his Mama's cast iron pan - he chopped the heart up next, and Steve's belly was rumbling. He made a gravy, and then he was making biscuits. The two of them sat with bowls of the gravy and biscuits, out under the tree - eating them. It was the most delicious thing Steve had ever eaten. 

"Good?" Eddie asked him softly. 

"Mhmm.. delicious thank you." Steve replied, licking his fingers and the older boy gave him a lazy smile. "Tu tamsus mažas monstras." Eddie told him, and Steve just stared at his top lip. "What did you say?" He asked softly. "I said you are a dark little monster." Eddie was smiling, and Steve let out a soft breath - "...am I like you?"

The older boy just stared at him, and then he gently brushed his fingers against Steve's cheek. "I think yes." His voice lilting and soft, "I never have met er.. like me before?" His English hesitant. And Steve said softly, "Never?" Eddie nodded - "No.. not.. before." 

Steve wanted to ask more questions, but his Daddy appeared on the back porch - "Birdy, you better not be annoying Eddie... come on now - get inside.." Steve kept his eyes on his lap, and then he whispered, "Okay.." Eddie said to his father, "It's okay Bobby - he is not problem. Really? He is a good boy."

Bobby grunted softly, "Well... I know - but.. you don't need to look after him, that's my job.." 

Steve slipped back into the house, and he heard Eddie say quietly - "I don't mind, he's no trouble." His Daddy clicked his tongue against his teeth. "...You're a good kid Eddie - thank you for giving him supper." When his Daddy shut the door - he just stared at him, Steve kept his eyes on the floor and his Daddy ruffled his hair - "You like him huh." 

Steve nodded and his Daddy murmured, "Come on ... you can come draw with me, I got you a new sketchbook all of your own."

He lifted his gaze just a little, and his Daddy said - "And some new pens... You don't need to use them old ones no more.." Steve said softly, "Thank you Daddy.." 

Bobby rumbled softly, "You're welcome Birdy, c'mon..." He held out his hand, which was shaking - and Steve let his Daddy interlace their fingers. They went into his Daddy's little room at the back of the house. There were drawings scattered everywhere. He let out a soft breath as his Daddy sprawled in his chair - picking up a bottle of bourbon - "Draw something for me.." Daddy rasped softly and Steve whispered, "Okay Daddy."

He hadn't come up with any other characters yet - so Steve drew Skeletal Sammy again. Daddy got up and put on another Charlie Parker record, his fingers stroking against his face. Steve was drawing - and Daddy got up, he left the room - and came back with a glass of juice for him. "Drink that up.." Daddy told him - and Steve nodded, he could taste that too bitter - slightly off flavor again. 

It clung to the back of his throat, burning slightly. After a while - it was getting dark outside, and Steve could feel his eyes getting heavy. Daddy was watching him from his chair, drinking straight from the bottle and Steve stared at the mattress on the floor. They hadn't really gotten much furniture together yet - their bedrooms were mostly bare bones. 

Steve said softly, "M'tired Daddy.."

His Daddy said back, "Then.. lay down on the bed, you can go to sleep here.." Steve nodded, and then he crawled over to the mattress - slipping under the blanket. The contours of it cradled his body like a welcoming hand. From the living room he could hear his Daddy shifting about - Birdland. He thought again - That was the place where you could work magic, the place where no one else could reach you. It might be an actual spot in the world. 

It might be a place deep down inside you. 

Daddy could only reach his Birdland by drinking now. Steve had begun to find his Birdland by the pen moving across the paper. The weight of the sketchbook in his hands. The creation of Worlds out of ink and sweat and love. He'd found Birdland, in the moments with Eddie. 

He slept and the music wove uneasily in and out of his dreams. He heard Janis Joplin singing, "Me and Bobby McGee." And he remembered that she had died last year. From drugs Mama had told him.

Mama had said they were much worse than the pot that her and Daddy smoked. An image came into his mind of Daddy walking hand in hand with a girl shorter and more rounded than mama. A girl who had beautiful feathers in her hair. 

She turned to Daddy, and then to Steve - he saw that her face was a mass of swollen purple flesh - the holes where her eyes should have been were black and depthless - her ruined features split in a semblance of a smile as she leaned in to give his Daddy a deep soul kiss.

And Daddy kissed back...

Chapter Text

Sunlight woke him, streaming through the dirty panes of his window. Trickling into the corners of his eyes. His head ached slightly - felt somehow to heavy on his neck. Steve rolled over - stretched and looked around the room. Silently greeting his drawings.

There was one of the house, one of Mama holding Didi - a whole series of ones that he was pretty sure were going to turn into a comic. He knew he couldn't draw the same slick way that his Daddy could. At least not yet.

But Steve new he had an idea forming in his mind - Birdland. He knew he had a head full of ideas - Steve rolled off the mattress and he pushed open the door of the bedroom. He walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. He saw the blood on the walls - before he saw his Mama.

It would come out in the autopsy report - which Steve didn't read till years later. That Daddy had attacked her near the front door. That they must have argued - that there had been a struggle - and he'd driven her back toward the hall before he'd killed her. That was where Steve later picked up the hammer.

Mama was crumpled in the doorway that lead from the living room into the hall. Her back rested against the frame. Her head lolled on the fragile stem of her neck, her eyes were open. As Steve edged around her body - they seemed to follow him.

For a heart stopping moment he thought she was still alive. But then he saw that her eyes were cloudy, and filmed with blood. Her arms were a mass of blood and bruises.

Silver rings, sparkling amid the ruin of her hands. Seven fingers broken, the autopsy report would say, along with most of the small bones in her palms. As she raised her hands to ward off the blows of the hammer.

There was a deep gouge in her left temple - another one in the center of her forehead. Her hair was loose and fanned around her shoulders. Stiff with blood. A clear fluid had seeped from her head wounds and dried on her face.

Making silvery tracks through the mask of red.  And on the wall above her, a confusion of bloody hand prints trailing down, down ...

Steve spun and ran back down the hall - towards his sisters room. He did not know that his bladder had let go - did not feel the hot urine spilling down his legs. He did not hear the sound he was making, a long high moan.

The door of Didi's room was closed. He hadn't closed it the night before, when he'd looked in on Didi. High up on the door - was a tiny smudge of blood, barely noticeable. It told Steve everything he needed to know. He went in anyway.

The room was thick with the smell of blood and shit. The two odors together were cloying, almost sweet. Steve went to the bed, Didi was laying in the same position that Steve had left her in the night before.

Her head was burrowed into the pillow - one small hand curled into a fist near her mouth. The back of Didi's head was like a swamp - a dark mush of splintered bone and thick clotted gore. Sometimes during the night because of the heat - or in the spasms of death.

Didi had kicked off her covers. Steve saw the dark brown stain between her legs, that was were the smell came from. Steve had lifted the blanket and pulled it over Didi - covering the stain, her tiny ruined head - the unbearable curled hand.

The blanket settled over her tiny body, Where it covered her head - a red blotch appeared. He knew he had to find Daddy - Steve's mind clung to some tiny, glittering hope that maybe Daddy hadn't done this.

That some crazy person had broken into their house and killed Mama and Didi - and left him alive for some reason. That Daddy might still be alive too. He stumbled out of Didi's bedroom - and felt his way along the hall.

That was where he was found later - found by his Mama's friends.  They had driven out to see why Mama hadn't been showing up for work. The front door was unlocked, they saw Mama's body first - and they worked themselves into a hysterical frenzy.

When someone had heard the high toneless keening.

They'd found Steve squeezed into the tiny space between the toilet and the porcelain sink. Covered in blood - holding the hammer that his Father had used to kill his Mama and baby sister. Curled in as compact as a fetus.

Eyes wild and empty - fixed on his Father. Bobby Harrington was strung up from the shower curtain rod. It was the kind that was bolted into the wall. It had held his weight all night and day, he was naked - his body was thin nearly to the point of emaciation. He was luminously pale, his face so swollen that it was almost featureless.

The rough strand of hemp cut deep into his neck, his hands and torso were still stained with the blood of his wife and daughter. As someone had lifted him and carried him out - Steve was still curled into the smallest possible ball - Steve had his first coherent thought - it would be his only one that he would have for days.

He hadn't have needed to worry about accidently stumbling across the Devil's Tramping Ground.

The Devils Tramping Ground had come to him.

***

The air was thick and hot, the sky was a painting of dusk blue - then deepening to a smokey violet - where you could no longer see the dying sunlight. Steve let out a slow exhale, he could smell the memories - the faintly exotic sweetness of too many journeys. The industrial strength disinfectant they used to slop out the rest room at the back of the bus.

Steve had spent years on Greyhound buses - nameless travel, moving from one place to the next - hiding out and re-starting his life. Reforming his shape to fit into the world around him.

It was an odor that he knew well - as well as the quiet despair of a thousand bus terminals. Where he'd spent time under the small dim lights above his head, while drawing in his sketchbooks his hand moving to the rhythms of the music he could hear inside his head while he drew. Lost in that, and occasionally he'd look up and out the window - the outside world fading out.

Till only his hallowed out reflection could be seen in the glass of the window.

That particular night, that particular journey - a redneck sitting a few seats up from him - he was large, sweaty - and wearing a John Deere baseball cap. He'd growled out, "Hey! You, Fucking Hippie!" Steve had lifted his gaze, just a fraction - "Me?" He'd said in a too quiet voice, raspy.

"Yeah you, who the fuck else would I be talking to? Him?" The redneck scoffed and motioned with his finger to an old black man sitting a few seats away on the opposite side, whose gnarled hands were clutching around a nearly empty bottle of Night Train in his lap.

Steve had shook his head, and the redneck growled at him - "You mind turning that goddamn light off? I got a headache, you know?"Hangover more like. Steve had shook his head, "I can't, I have to work on this drawing."

"The hell you do."  The redneck had risen over his seat, "What's a freak like you drawin' that's so goddamn important?"  Without saying anything, Steve had turned his sketchbook around so that the  redneck could see it. The light showing every detail of the drawing, a slender woman - half seated, half sprawled in a doorway. Head thrown back, yawning mouth full of blood and broken teeth. Her left temple and forehead were smashed in, her hair and face and the front of her dress was black with blood.

The drawing was stark and flawless, the frozen agony eloquent in every line of her body, in every stroke of her ruined face.

"My Mother." Steve said.

The redneck's fat face quivered, his lips twitched - his eyes were shocked. Momentarily defenseless - then flat. "Fuckin freak." He muttered, but he didn't say anything else. Not about Steve turning off the light, not for the rest of the trip. Steve stared down at the drawing, he frowned at it. In the lower right hand corner - he had labeled the drawing, Birdland.

He didn't erase the label, it was too heavily penciled and it would fuck up the paper. He wasn't much for erasing anyway. Sometimes the mistakes showed you the really interesting connections between your brain, your hand and your heart, the ones that you might otherwise never know were there.

They were important, even if you had no idea what they meant.

Steve couldn't remember everything about that morning - the morning when he'd been carried out of the house - and that was all he'd known for a while. He knew that someone - a man with large hands, had been brave enough to edge past his father's dangling body to pry Steve from his hiding place between the sink and the toilet. It had kind of doubled into a utility closet. It was where his Mama had kept the brooms and mop. He'd been wedged in there between the sink and the cleaning equipment.

It had been Jim Hopper that had pulled him out of his hiding place.

The next thing he remembered was being in a blank white room, smelling medicine and vomit. Then screaming at the sight of the tube that came out of his arm - hanging out and snaking up - the needle making the crook of his arm sore. Steve had thought it was alive, burrowing into him as he'd slept. He would never really trust sleeping again, he'd closed his eyes and went somewhere else for a few hours. While you were gone anything could happen, anything at all.

The whole world could be ripped out from under you.

The nurse told Steve that he'd not been able to hear people trying to talk to him. That he couldn't eat or drink. The tube had been giving him medicine - he had another one going down through his noise into his stomach to give him food - to stop him from starving to death. Or so he understood it. Steve had been wearing a diaper - he knew even Didi was too old for a diaper. Then he remembered that Didi wasn't anything anymore.

All she was, was a memory or a smashed shaped on a stained mattress. His family had been dead five days - had been buried while Steve floated in the hazy twilight world.

The Doctors at the hospital called it Catatonia.

Steve knew it was Birdland. Not just a place where no one else could touch you. But the place you went when the real world scared you away. After it became apparent that no relative or friend of the family was going to claim him, and a series of cognitive tests proved he was functional (if withdrawn) the court declared Beau Harrington a ward of the State. He was placed in a boys Home on the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia.

An orphanage and school whose operating budget had been shaved to the bone the previous year. There was no foster family program, no special training for the gifted - no therapy for the disturbed. There was only an enormous drafted school building and four outlying dorms all built of smooth gray stone that held a chill even in the middle of summer.

There were two hundred boys, aged five to eighteen, all kept crew-cut and conservatively dressed. Each with his own personal hell and none of them were much inclined to help ease the weight of anyone else's.

The place had no color or texture, Steve's time there was quiet - he kept to himself and his room was a cold square box. It had been safe because he could draw - without looking over his shoulder. Mostly he'd been left alone. He was awkward in his skin, in his body. Never feeling like he fit - his body felt wrong to him. Steve dreaded the afternoons where he was forced to be outside with the other boys.

He never tried to make friends, sometimes a group of predators would try to target him - eventually they would attack. Steve learned that he could fight back - he could land a hard punch with his left hand, he could kick and claw and bite. He would come off the worst - he wasn't a big kid - a skinny, scrawny little thing - but he was fast. He never risked his right hand because it was his drawing hand. Then that group would leave him alone.

Steve would mind his own business, till the next time. He'd read and suspected it was like being in prison. He just had to keep his head down - and wait. But then he'd been shipped out of the home - moved to a different one. That's when Steve's life shifted from survivable to a nightmare. Where he couldn't escape, when things turned from manageable into Hell.

Somewhere amidst all of it - he had lost his ability to talk, he didn't have anything useful to say. After he'd been taken from the house in Violin road - Steve didn't see Eddie again. He didn't even know where he'd gone. He had blanks in his memory - things he couldn't remember. Parts of his memory just blanked out. 

They'd said that Didi had high levels of sleeping pills and other drugs in her body - that Daddy had drugged her. Steve had high levels of the same drugs in his system too. So Daddy had drugged them - why had he not killed Steve too? He.. didn't understand why he'd left him behind, alone - he had to stay behind. Trapped and alone. 

***

The Yew was the kind of place that got all the run aways and people off the Greyhound bus - it was the first port of call in Chapel Hill. Kinsey had been running the place for a long time - and he had all kinds of food - drinks. The beer he sold was National Bohemian - and at a dollar fifty a bottle - it was pretty popular. One of his locals Terry, ordered one - and Kinsey cracked it open, placing the frosty Beveridge in front of him. 

"I talked to Ghost and Mikey today." Terry told him - they were two boys that had formed a band Lost Souls - they were the two members, best friends - Ghost's real name was William - but he was a strange kid - he preferred to be called Ghost - Mike stuck to him like glue. Mike played a dark - fierce guitar and Ghost had a golden voice like gravel running through a clear mountain stream. A couple of weeks ago they'd returned from a cross country gig - in New York, before promptly leaving again in Mike's old T-Bird.

San Francisco was their ultimate destination - but they would plan their route as they travelled - they might be gone for as much as a year. 

"They're in Texas right now." Terry said, "Mikey said they played in a coffeehouse in Austin - and everyone loved them. Even sold some of their tapes too." Terry snickered and Kinsey smiled - "You ever been to Austin?" Terry asked. Kinsey shook his head, "Nah - one of my favorite cartoonists came from there though, Bobby Harrington."

"Wasn't he that guy that.." Terry asked.

"Yup.." Kinsey answered, sighing heavily. 

"That house is still standing out on Violin road." Terry mused, "I was only sixteen when the murders happened - but I remember, they say its haunted." 

"Of course they do, and it might be haunted - but he was brilliant - hey have you ever looked at that new one that's out? Birdland - I think the guy doing that he must have been a fan of Bobby's... its called Birdland." Kinsey asked Terry, the younger man shook his head, but said, "Didn't he leave one of his kids alive?"

Kinsey served Terry up a bowl of noodle soup. "Yeah... a eight year old son I believe - and no, I don't know what happened to him." 

"I bet he was fucked up real good." Terry said, slurping his soup.

"Excuse me, could I get a bowl of that soup?" said a quiet, soft voice from the end of the bar. 

Kinsey turned - Neither him or Terry had noticed the boy before. The bar was crowded - and the kid fit right in. Tall and slender - plain black t-shirt and tight black jeans. He had dark brown hair that was down just past his shoulders - with flecks of blonde through it. And he had a back pack slung over one shoulder. His eyes were lined with smudged eyeliner. He looked to be about eighteen or so - but carried himself like someone younger. Unsure of himself, and not particularly wanting to be noticed.

But it was his eyes that were arresting. They were chocolate brown, but when the light caught them - they had an almost golden honey color at the same time - they didn't meet Kinsey's gaze - they seemed big and wild - startled, hidden behind glasses that were too big for his face. Waif-eyes, thought Kinsey - Hunger eyes. His Mama used to tell him about creatures with eyes like that, a long time ago.

"You new in town?" Terry asked through a mouthful of noodles.

The boy nodded, "I came in on the bus about an hour ago."

"That's new all right." Terry offered his hand, but the younger man looked confused - and he didn't take it. 

"I'm Terry Buckett, I run the record store here, in case you need any sounds - Everything from Bowie, to Hank Williams."  Terry said, and Kinsey interjected, "Hank William's Senior." 

"Senior, absolutely. For Bocephus you have to drive to Corinth - he's a little too all American for us. Who are you?" Terry asked the younger man. 

"Steve Black. I usually listen to jazz." 

"Got some of that too." Terry grinned at Steve. After a moments hesitation - the younger man smiled tentatively back. Terry's friendliness was hard to resist - and he would keep talking till a person started answering. Kinsey set down a bowl of the soup - in front of Steve Black. The kid seemed familiar - and yet he wasn't sure why. 

"I usually buy my new customers a drink - a coke if you're under twenty-one." Kinsey said. 

Steve said quietly, "I don't drink - a coke will be fine thank you." He didn't say how old he was either - the night went on and Kinsey kept a quiet eye on the new kid. He was on his third coke - and Kinsey said, "So kid - are you just passing through or.. are you sticking around?"

Steve said, "Sticking around for a little bit, got some things to do.."

"What do you do? Do you need a job? Could you start now?" Kinsey was wiping the bar - he paused as Steve said, "I draw - do comics. But sure I can.. start now." He stepped behind the bar, putting his back pack down in the corner.

"Wait... a minute, you're Steve Black? The.. Birdland is your graphic novel?" Kinsey asked - the younger man looked uncomfortable - he was staring at the floor as he scuffed his shoe against it. "Yes.." He said softly. 

Kinsey had thought his name was familiar. "Didn't you have a page in Drawn and Quarterly?" This was an underground comics magazine featuring some of the newest - most bizarre talent around. 

Steve looked surprised, maybe a little disconcerted - but then he nodded. "Yes. That was me." 

"It was a good strip, it made me think of..." Kinsey didn't get a chance to continue - the next wave of customers came in - clamoring for Natty Boho's - Steve turned away so quickly that Kinsey wondered whether he was glad to get off the subject. 

As Kinsey rang up the purchases, he thought about the strip - it had been an odd story. A brief tale about an epiphany of sorts - something about a flock of birds, rising from a charred mans corpse like a feathered, jewel eyed soul. Kinsey had been about to say how much it reminded him of the late Robert Crumb. The sharp inking and graceful lines. He was sure that Steve must have been a fan of Bobby's work. At least read it. 

Birdland was a beautiful series - maybe even more so than Bobby's work had been. Possibly the younger man knew that Bobby had died here. But the band was winding down - the crowd was starting to thin out. And then it was closing time - money to count, spills to wipe up . By the time they were finished it was after 3am. Kinsey watched the younger man quietly, and then he cracked open a beer - taking a swig he flicked on the radio. 

Miles Davis, something from the fifties - the sound of a trumpet filled the room - as slow and smooth as eggnog spiked with whiskey. Steve had his head down on the bar - and Kinsey leaned against it, and let his eyes close. The music ended and the announcers voice came on - his voice was deep, white and somehow distilled the essence of the music. "Well yeah, Miles Davis - Remember you still can have plenty of time to get to Birdland." 

Kinsey heard a strangled sob, he opened his eyes and stared at Steve - who was holding his head in his hands - tears poured down his face and he was breathing harsh - Kinsey could see his tears falling down - and landing on the bar. He moved closer towards the boy, "Hey Steve, What..."

"I don't have plenty of time to get to Birdland..." Steve cried, his voice sounded like it was being pulled out of him - dragged over hot coals, tortured out of his body. "I don't have any time at all, and I'm scared." 

"Birdland?" Kinsey said softly. 

Steve caught the puzzled question, he looked up at Kinsey - eyes not meeting his exactly, but Kinsey could see the torture in his eyes - the fear. And suddenly Kinsey knew his face - he recognized the little boy on the side of the road with his Mama. "Birdy Harrington." Kinsey said softly.

"Oh Goddamn.." Steve rasped out - and then he was sobbing again. Kinsey went around to the side of the bar where he was sitting - and cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt the younger man flinch and tense up. 

"Don't touch me!" Steve said shakily.

"Sorry I didn't mean too." Kinsey said softly. 

"Just don't!" Steve said hoarsely. 

They stared helplessly at each other, Steve's face was slick with tears. Everything in the way he held himself was screaming Don't Touch Me. But Kinsey thought his eyes looked like a scared little boy, he thought the younger man might hate him - might maybe lose his shit. But he very carefully wrapped his arms around Steve and held him close.

He felt the younger man's body go completely rigid, felt him try to pull away - and if he'd kept trying Kinsey would have let him go. But Steve sagged against him - exhausted. "I remember you, and your Mama - your.. I remember." Kinsey said quietly. 

Steve breathed out harshly, embarrassed as the sobs wracked his body - "You poor, poor child." Kinsey said quietly - his long arms holding Steve. Kinsey could feel the sharp angels of the younger man's body, he felt like a fragile bird - Kinsey imagined Steve's fear unfolding like treacherous wings to carry him back to that house. Back to the strange and painful year - and to the death he no doubt thought he deserved. 

As the crying faded and turned into an occasional long tremor - that jerked hard against Kinsey. He could feel the bones of the younger man's body digging into his own. Steve pulled away and slumped down against the bar. Kinsey realized, that Steve was a lot younger than he'd realized - he was at least fourteen - maybe fifteen. Kinsey watched as he wiped his face - deciding to give him time without making him feel more embarrassed. 

"Let's go." He said quietly, firmly. 

Steve gave him a wary, questioning look without making eye contact.

"You shouldn't be by yourself." Kinsey told him. "You're coming home with me." He expected an argument - maybe refusal. But Steve just let out a soft little exhale and then he nodded. Kinsey wondered whether he'd been planning on hiking out to Violin road - to sleep in that bad memory of a house. 

The house of Birdy Harrington's thwarted doom, and perhaps the house of Steve Black's impending destiny.  Steve slung his backpack over his shoulder - and turned off the bar lights. He followed Kinsey out of the club and down the bad end of Firehouse Street. Into the silent,  silver-lit night. 

***

Being back in Chapel Hill, if only briefly - had been a strange disconnect from his reality. He didn't just carry the weight of the murder/suicide now - he had new battles. New scars - new trauma to deal with. Steve had become catatonic again on and off in different periods. Detached from himself - floating through reality rather than being present in it. 

He didn't want to be anchored in the weight that it sucked him down into. People were too much - everything was just too much. Steve detached further as parts of him died. He lost more of himself - but then he had a feeling that maybe, he had never really ever had those parts to begin with. 

Once he'd been moved out of the first boys home. The second one became a living hell - he was targeted, and bullied and then shipped from one foster home to another. By the time he was fourteen, he'd endured so much abuse that he was determined to try and get out of the system altogether. He didn't know how he was going too at first. But he knew he had to do something. 

Steve wondered, he wondered where Eddie had disappeared too - Does he ever think about me? It hurt to think about him. The fact that he just disappeared - gone ... like a shadow. Steve had to push it down, the emptiness. The feeling that he couldn't shake off - that he didn't understand. After he was shipped from Foster home to Foster home - he was made to go to therapy. Put through all kinds of tests, both psychological and medical. 

He was told that he was autistic, but he wasn't mentally retarded like some had first assumed. Seemed he was the opposite and had an extremely high I.Q. Steve really didn't care about that. He learned to keep his drawings a secret - nine years old and you're drawing the murder/suicide of your family - wasn't seen as healthy.

He'd been put on a bunch of medications, for anxiety - depression. Steve was only a few months shy of thirteen when he'd first slit his wrists, bleeding out on the floor of a bathroom in the abandoned church. Jim Hopper having sent him to a facility to get rehabilitated.

Steve kept his darkness to himself. His thoughts, and his dreams - his nightmares.. he buried it. Kept it hidden away. 

Steve learned to play the system - telling them what they wanted to hear. He leaned how to wear a mask, and a perfectly crafted one. He could adapt and be whatever it was that he had to be to survive. Steve survived the best way that he knew how.

After he met Kinsey - something shifted in him however. The fact that he'd endure six years of nearly constant abuse - he just reached a point where he didn't want to have to endure it anymore. 

He didn't stay in Chapel Hill for long. He worked at the Yew - saving money, till he had enough that he could set himself up in New Orleans. Kinsey was a nice guy - and together the help of Ghost and Mike - Steve had a plan to get to New Orleans. 

Steve knew how to manipulate people into getting what he wanted if he needed too. Kinsey wasn't someone that Steve had to manipulate however - he was just a genuinely nice person. Steve had still been drawing, doing his comics - Kinsey was the only one in Chapel Hill who knew who Steve actually was. 

He'd met Ghost and Mikey, they'd stopped in at the Yew - to catch up with everyone. Steve had been so swayed by their music that he'd drawn them into one of his stories. Ghost was quiet, he had too big eyes that had some kind of spell in them.

Mike was the kind of guy that was noisy and hectic - calmed only by the grounding from Ghost. They were like to pieces of one person, and it was the first time that Steve realized that boys could like each other that way. He didn't know it wasn't a sin.

Steve had seen them kissing, all tangled up together - Mikey's fingers curled into Ghost's hair - as Will grabbed Mike's ass and they rocked into each other while they kissed. Steve had been left feeling flustered and not sure what to do about the fact that watching them left him hard. He'd never really been aroused before, not that way. 

The two boys asked Steve if he wanted to ride with them to New Orleans - he had agreed to go with them. Will had given him a lazy smile, and then when it was just the two of them alone - he'd said softly, "You are afraid of New Orleans.. but you don't have to be, you'll find some answers there.. about who you are."

He hadn't known what to say to that. Ghost just seemed to know things - without being told. His big eyes were pretty - they didn't scare Steve. Mike seemed to understand that Ghost calmed him - "He's just a calming spirit - I get that... I am the opposite of calm."  Steve just let out a soft laugh, and Mike smirked - smoking a clove cigarette, and then shrugging. 

"It's okay though - I get you know.. the thing - not wanting to be touched, or.. whatever.. I used to be like you, until I met Ghost." Mikey said softly, "You'll meet someone one day, maybe it might change."

Steve thought about Eddie, and then he pushed that away.  

The two older boys gave Steve a quiet sense of calm in different ways. They had got to New Orleans - and it was Mike that dragged him to Cafe du Monde for the first time. "You have to try the Beignets." He had muttered softly, ordering a plate of them along with coffee.

It was the first time that Steve ate something that was as close to Heaven as he could imagine food could get. 

Soft pillowy goodness - drenched with powdered sugar. And the coffee - was the best he'd ever had. Steve got a job working there, and it was the beginning of the shift - Kinsey had helped Steve to get emancipated from the ward. He was free - he didn't have to be in the system anymore.

Ghost and Steve didn't stay for long - the three of them sharing one room in a dingy motel on Bourbon street - Steve would sit out on the balcony - breathing in the smells.

The buildings, the streets - it didn't seem so scary anymore. Not like when he was younger. It felt alive - with its hidden secrets buried underneath - Steve wanted to explore and dig deeper. He wanted to feel it pulsate under his skin. He could feel the sweat clinging to his skin, the air was hot and cloying - and he drank alcohol for the first time. Sweet delicious bourbon - that was warm on his tongue and deep in his belly. 

He sat outside, sweat clinging to his skin - listening to the sound of Mike fucking Ghost into the mattress. Their breathless - dirty moans and the squeaking of the bed - making him antsy, he was flushed and aroused and Steve didn't even understand really what was happening to him. Just that he liked listening to them - he secretly liked watching them too. Because he'd seen them, a couple of nights previous - they'd thought he was asleep in his bed. 

Mike had started kissing Ghost, and then there was the soft sounds of the two of them breathless - Steve hadn't been sure what they were doing - just that Ghost was laying on top of Mike, doing something to him under the covers - while they breathed each other in, Mike groaning softly, "Fuck Will - I'm so close.. I'm.. gonna cum.." 

Steve had felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. They were pretty together, sweaty and flushed - and he could see their tongues slicking together. Mike had made a strangled noise into Ghosts' mouth - and then Ghost was licking his hand. 

Steve had laid awake long after they'd fallen asleep - he didn't know they were doing. But he know he liked the sounds they made. He knew they were going to San Francisco - Steve had never really had a connection with anyone before. So when Ghost said softly, "We'll miss you, you know... I.. wanna write to you? Will you write me back?"

He'd nodded, blushing and said softly - "Yes, I'll write you back." They helped him find his apartment. When they both decided it was time to get back on the road - Steve had felt sad, tears welling up in his eyes, but both of them - had promised to see him again soon. Strangely enough - Steve actually let them both hug him goodbye. And once they'd left, he sat in his empty apartment on his mattress and stared up at the ceiling. 

Steve realized that he didn't really completely like being alone. 

It was a few weeks after that he saw Jim Hopper  again for the first time in a while. Jim helped him get enrolled in classes at the university - Steve put an ad up for some room mates. Which he got pretty quickly. Dougie and Garrett.

Dougie had a girlfriend named Selena and they weren't around a lot. Most of the time it was Steve and Garrett that were in the apartment - Garrett was into art too, so sometimes they'd just hang out and draw - talk about all kinds of things.

Steve had a lot of work with his classes - he had work at the cafe too. Jim was weird when he'd come and visit - making comments about Garrett - Steve realized that Jim thought he was queer. He didn't like it - everyone seemed to assume Steve was queer. Including Garrett. 

The blond had tried to kiss him - and Steve lost his temper - punching him. Garrett moved out the next morning - and then eventually Dougie did too - moving in with Selena instead. And Steve was on his own again. Steve decided that it was better if he just lived by himself - he threw himself into his school work and focused on that instead. 

He caught up with Garrett again, who had moved into an apartment deeper in the quarter - near the river. Steve went home with him one night, the two of them drunk - Garrett had tried to put the moves on him again, and Steve didn't remember what happened - just that he woke up the next morning covered in blood - and Garrett went missing. Steve had bloodied and bruised knuckles - and scratches on his arms. He knew he'd done something to the other boy - he just didn't know what it was.

It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last that Steve did things while he blacked out - it wouldn't be the first time he woke up with blood on his body and bruises. That kept happening for the entire time he was in New Orleans. 

Steve didn't know that he would find the answer in an unlikely place - that the answer would come with him finding that he'd always been something else. He would find the answer when he went out to the Bayou - the swamp country calling to him, the whispered voices on the wind - he would find the answers there. 

Across a doorway, stepping over red brick dust. 

Chapter Text

Eddie was restless, he couldn't stop thinking about Steve - the way he had so casually thrown it out to him - that he knew. That he knew that Eddie wasn't who he said he was. Of course he'd known that he had to have had memories - vague ones perhaps. But memories all the same.

What he didn't know was the mastery to which the younger man was capable of playing the game. Masking who he was - hiding - did he know who he was completely? What he was? Eddie didn't know for sure.

Did Steve know that he was a Vaikštynė? In Eddie's language, it just meant Walker. But to be specific it was something much more - he was more than that. A Vaikštynė was a creature that was part Human and part something else. A shadow creature that was also called a Nightwalker.

Capable of being both Human and Shadow. His kind were Darkness, capable of magick and ruin. They fed on Human flesh - Cannibalistic in nature. Eddie had never met another like him before - not for a long time and certainly not one so young as Steve had been. Perhaps he was like him, or perhaps he was something else.

Because Eddie had lost his parents, he'd never had a chance to learn everything there was to know about his own bloodline - his legacy. He was the last of his line.

In Lithuania he had been the last of his family bloodline - so Eddie believed the last of his kind. He had never come across any other Vaikštynė before - and he had travelled around extensively since leaving his home country. Losing his parents - his little sister Mischa, Eddie had built up walls around himself - trying to keep a distance from others.

Eddie didn't allow anyone to get to close - he had to keep his lifestyle and who he was a secret. He had never realized until Steve mentioned that he was the Shadow Man - that Steve had ever seen him that way. 

But he must have, for him to have called him that. Am I like you? He could still remember that question - the way that the younger man had asked it so casually - Eddie hadn't been able to say anything else, other than I think so yes. And what was the younger man? Were there Vaikštynė, in America? In other parts of the world - Eddie didn't know. 

Years later - he still wasn't entirely sure if it was true or not. Because so much time had passed - and they had lost contact. The night of the murders, Eddie hadn't been at the house - he didn't know that Bobby was going to drug Steve.

He hadn't known that he was going to kill his wife and daughter - and then hang himself. Eddie didn't know that he was going to leave his son alive - and that Steve would be taken away. Eddie hadn't known where to look after it happened.

And it wasn't like he was family - he wasn't blood. Would they have ever been likely to hand over a little boy to a lodger? Eddie doubted it highly. He had lost him - lost him to a system that wouldn't let him know where he was. It took him years to find him.

It wasn't until seven years later - that Eddie saw him again. Eddie was living out in the Bayou - in a big old plantation house. He was about to start lecturing at the University - but he hadn't started yet when he'd been at the dinner party of Miss Rosena Moore's.

She liked to flirt with him, despite the fact that she knew he was a homosexual. Rosena didn't care about that though, and she kept other peoples suspicions at bay - so they'd struck up a kind of deal where she kept his secret and they were a fake couple. She too had eyes for someone of the same sex - even though she flirted with him. So nobody suspected anything out of the ordinary.

It wasn't exactly thrown about in the South to be out of the closet. Especially in their social circle - you kept your secrets close to your chest. It wasn't common knowledge to be out and proud - you just didn't do it. Not that he was ashamed of himself, because Eddie really wasn't - but at the same time, you just didn't do it.

Not unless you wanted to run the risk of being beaten to death maybe - it had happened before. It wasn't just racism that was rampant in their neck of the woods.

Rosena also wasn't just an average woman - she was a High Priestess of Hoodoo. He went to her for help many times since arriving in America - someone like her, and someone like him - he was a creature of Shadow - that came from the place where she accessed her power.

It was part of the reason that they were such good friends. Eddie had asked for her help to find Steve, and up until that point she hadn't had much in the way of answers.

Till she old him the night of the dinner party that she'd sensed a young one. Rosena didn't call Steve a Vaikštynė, of course she didn't when that was in his tongue. She didn't really use a name - just said that he was a young one, a Baby - that he was lost and confused - dangerous, could get caught. She told him that this young one - was in New Orleans. That she was going to send him a message. How - she didn't say, just that she would.

She told him a boy named Ghost would help.

It was vague at best - but Eddie knew she worked the way that she worked - she'd never failed to help him in the past. He was staying at her home - when a beat up mustang pulled up in the driveway - he was standing watching from the window upstairs. Eddie felt his stomach tighten, the heat curl deep in his belly.

He wasn't the eight year old little boy about to turn nine - he wasn't the sweet little cherub faced creature. 

Steve was painfully beautiful - nearly fifteen years old - tall and slim, his body was muscled and lithe. Eddie had crept silently down the stairs, hiding in the shadows. Steve was ridiculously beautiful - pale skinned, too thin - at that awkward stage where he was growing into himself. He looked like some malevolent avenging angel.

His hair was dark brown - but kissed with blond like his Mama's. His eyes that chocolate and honey - were smudged with eyeliner. His hair was spilling down over his shoulders. His eyes as wide and wild - as Eddie remembered them being. Steve stepped over the entrance way - across the red brick dust and he curled his arm around his middle. Rosena walked into the room, and she looked at Steve with a quietness - studying him. "So.. you're the young one, hmm?"

Steve just blinked slowly, confused - his voice was deeper now, the lazy drawl made Eddie's insides melt. "I... don't know? Ma'am I just came because Ghost told me you could help me.." He rubbed one hand over his face - his hand was bruised and battered. 

Rosena gave him a smile, "Mhmm that's right mon Cherie.. I can help you. You been doing the sleep walking huh.. waking up and you don't remember where you been?"

Steve gave her a nod, and Eddie let out a slow breath - Rosena held out her hand, Steve looked at her - then at her hand, and then tentatively he took it. She gave him a smile and said softly, "That's right sugar, Mama Rosena ain't gonna hurt you.. you can trust me..." He was blushing, anxious - and uncomfortable in his skin.

Eddie so desperately wanted to go and talk to him. But he stayed where he was - when they went outside into the courtyard - Eddie followed - but he stayed hidden in the shadow.

"So.. you want to know how to stop sleep walking, how to remember the things you been doing?" Rosena was pouring them both a drink - Steve just sat quietly, he was fidgeting - his fingers moving and he said, "I... don't know? I.. think so, I think I do bad things.. bad things when I'm sleeping.. when it goes black... when I go to Birdland." He whispered the last word - Eddie frowned, and Rosena said softly - "...Ah.. the other world, the shadow realm - you go there huh."

Steve just said softly, "I don't know? I just.. I don't call it that - I just.. think of it as Birdland, my Daddy told me that is what it is called."

Rosena sat right beside him, Steve had his gaze on his lap - his face hidden behinds curtains of dark hair. "Was your Daddy like you, do you think?" Steve stayed silent - not speaking and then he shrugged, his sweater slipping off his shoulder - revealing pale skin, and Eddie let out a soft breath - ".. I don't want to talk about him." Steve said softly.

"Alright well... there are a few names for what you are, but I'm not sure if they are exactly what you are - you're very young - most of them are created through magick gone wrong, a curse - through Sacrifice - feeding on Human flesh - I've never met one that is been Born before, do you understand what I'm saying to you Lil one?" She asked Steve quietly.

Rosena gently pushed Steve's hair out of his face - he was tense, looking uncomfortable with her closeness - and yet he was caught in it at the same time. 

"You might be the first one I've met that's been born - at least here, I know of another one - but he isn't from here." She said softly, Eddie watched as Steve closed his eyes - his fingers dug hard into his wrist. "He's not like any I've met here before either." - she opened the wooden box that was on the table, and started putting together some things into a small bag.

"I want you to boil this up with some hot water, and then drink it. It will help you - it will stop you from sleep walking, from blacking out." Rosena put the bag on the table in front of him. "Its because of all the  medications they have you taking mon Cherie - they cloud your mind, make you unwell. They don't help you." She said calmly - soothingly.

Steve stammered out, "I c-can't.. I h-have t-to t-take t-them."

Eddie curled his fingers into his own hair, which was a lot longer now than the last time they'd seen each other. Rosena said softly, "Baby - you are trapping yourself in a cage of their making. It's not going to serve you well in the end - its just going to make you more trapped. You wait here a moment... okay? I'll go get some other things for you." She got up - leaving Steve sitting there - it was starting to rain. When she came inside, her dark eyes looked at him.

"...He's not okay. Trapped in the darkness of his own mind - I want you to be gentle. Don't push to hard, he's barely hanging on." Rosena told him, "Eddie - I'm serious, be careful - I'm not sure he can handle you right now."

He nodded and murmured, "I'll .. be gentle - he might not even remember me, it was a long time ago." She just stared at him, not saying anything - and yet her face said it all. Bullshit he won't remember you.

***

Steve was shivering - the rain was soft - light and drizzly and he could feel it against his skin, trailing down his spine. He felt the shift, the warmth in the air - and Steve's breath caught in his throat as he felt Eddie's presence. He didn't lift his gaze and look at him.

Steve saw the older man shift out of the shadows of the door way, his hair was longer - soft curls thick and bouncy. He was older - of course he was, wearing clothes different to when he'd lived in the trailer.

He didn't know why he was there. There at the house - he realized that Eddie was the one Miss Rosena had been talking about - the one like him, that was different. That wasn't like anyone else - that she had met before. 

Steve sat still - his heart was beating too fast in his chest, his stomach was in knots - his breath came out all in a rush and Steve curled his arms around himself, tight as if he was protecting himself.

Eddie sat down beside him, and Steve let his eyes close.

Steve didn't want to see him - he didn't want to remember this moment. 

They'd said he wasn't real, that Steve had made him up to cope with the trauma of what happened. That he'd never existed - and Steve had believed it - believed them because Eddie had disappeared, he'd disappeared and he'd left him. 

So it was easier to believe he'd made him up.

Eddie said softly, "Hello little Bird." His soft, lilting voice was just as Steve remembered. 

Like warm silk, lilting and soft - a warm caress. Steve turned his head away - tears burning in his eyes. 

Eddie murmured, "It's been a long time.." His fingers gently brushed Steve's - just the barest touch. Steve flinched, then pulled his hand away, into his lap. The younger man let out a shaky exhale - and Eddie said softly, "...Stevie.."

Steve whimpered softly, "Don't...call me that."

Eddie breathed out slowly, and he whispered - "I'm so sorry, I... please." 

The silence hung between them - heavy and too much. Eddie wondered if Rosena would come back before he even got to speak to him properly.

"Why are you here." Steve whispered it - and Eddie felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. 

"I tried to find you.." Eddie said softly, "I... you were already gone when I got back to the house - when... I.. what happened? I.. read the police report but.."

Steve just stared down at his hands, which were shaking. 

Eddie said softly - "...Did you do it?"

"No! No I didn't do it." Steve whispered - haunted eyes, stared into space - and Eddie let out a soft exhale. He said softly, "If you did - you can tell me, I..."

Steve's voice was broken, tears sliding down his face - "I didn't do it. He did it... he killed them and then killed himself. I didn't... I didn't do it..." He let his eyes close - and Eddie could see the tiny lavender veins in his eyelids, he was so pale - maybe too pale. Sickly, dark shadows under his eyes - Eddie thought about kissing his eyelids. 

Feeling his silky skin under his lips. the softness of his lips under his tongue.

He breathed out softly, and Steve was staring at him - Eddie's heart was racing in his chest - and he felt like he could hear Steve's heartbeat too. The younger man let out a soft little exhale and he whispered, "I didn't hurt them.. it wasn't me."

Eddie nodded, and Steve whispered - "... it was my Daddy."

They shared a long gaze, eyes not leaving each other - Eddie was once again struck, painfully so - by how beautiful Steve was.

He felt almost uncomfortable by how intently Steve was looking at him, by how striking and beautiful his gaze was. Steve had never looked at him the way he was - he was making Eddie feel undone and exposed in a way he had never felt before. He liked it - it made him feel seen in a way that he'd never felt before, exposed and raw.

Once again he was reminded of the fact that Steve wasn't a little boy anymore.

Eddie leaned in closer, and he brushed his lips - feather soft against Steve's - their lips barely touching, Steve's felt soft as velvet - Steve's eyes had closed and he let out a soft breath against Eddie's mouth. He pulled back, and Steve brushed his fingers against his lips - as if he was checking to see if it had really happened.

Steve shivered and then he whispered, "I need to go now." He stood up, losing his balance - and Eddie murmured softly, "Wait... you don't have to go.." He caught the younger man's arm and Steve looked up at him, tears in his eyes - his impossibly beautiful eyes.

Eddie gently brushed his fingers against his cheek, "Please... stay, talk with me." He said softly, "Rosena will have the... other things for you. You should wait."

Steve whispered, "I don't know why I came here - why... why are you here?." He lowered his head, his hair hiding his face - and it was then that Rosena came back out into the courtyard - she had a wooden box. 

Rosena said to Steve, "I have this for you mon Cherie - I've written some things down for you... Edward, leave the child be now.."

Eddie looked at her, then he let go of Steve's arm - but he had tears in his own eyes. Steve let out a shaky exhale, he lowered his gaze - "Thank you Miss Rosena, I.. appreciate your help." His voice was soft, had a rasp to it.

Eddie murmured softly, "Please... Stevie.."

Steve wouldn't look at him, he said softly - "...I have to go."

Eddie felt like his heart was breaking as he left - Rosena said quietly, "...It isn't my place, but you need to let him go - he isn't ready yet Eddie. You're not going to find him until he's ready to wake up to himself. He's not ready to do that just yet. Mon Cherie.. maybe he might never be ready, he might be lost to himself - too many wounds, too many scars."

He felt like telling her to shut the hell up, but that would be rude - and Eddie wasn't rude.

Later, Eddie found him anyway - that Steve was in New Orleans, that they were both in the same place.  Eddie found out where he was living, where he was working - that he was studying at the University. Eddie kept an eye on him from the shadows.

He watched him growing into himself - watching him get trapped more and more inside his own head. Eddie didn't know that Steve was also watching him, he didn't know that Steve was doing the same thing. 

Eddie watched as Steve denied who he was, instead of becoming who he was meant to become - he buried himself deeper and deeper in a lie.

He hadn't gotten closer to Steve like he wanted. Steve had buried himself deeper into his mind - into the denial rather than his true self and Eddie had lost him. Lost contact - didn't even know where he'd disappeared too - until he'd ended up working at the BAU himself.

Now they were at the current point they were at - where Steve had told him that they could play the game against each other - that he knew Eddie was still hiding things from him. It wasn't that he wanted too - it was that he still was waiting for Steve to become fully aware of who and what he was.

Steve had accused him of wearing a mask - which was ironic, given the fact that Steve was still hiding too. But the fact that Steve knew Eddie was - it just proved to Eddie how special he was. 

Eddie didn't want to play games, he didn't want to be alone anymore - he didn't want Steve to be alone anymore.

It was his own fault that Steve didn't completely trust him. Steve had told him to prove himself to prove that he could be trusted. Eddie wanted desperately - so desperately to be with him.

It was like they had been dancing on the precipice of it for so long - but had never been able to actually do it. Or it felt that way to Eddie. But now they had a chance, a real chance - to actually get to know each other, to be together. 

Eddie knew that because Steve had been so caged, so conditioned - so trapped - he was afraid even if he didn't want to admit it. 

Not like when he'd been little - when he'd been happy with Eddie in their time together. When his instinct told him to feed the deer's heart to him. He really wanted to prove to Steve that he wasn't his enemy. He didn't want to play any games with Steve. He just... wanted him to be his.

But how did you awaken someone, that didn't want to be awakened? Someone so afraid of themselves that they would rather stay hidden. Eddie knew that the darkness was right there, just under the surface - he could feel it, Steve knew it was inside him - could they be together? For real this time, without anything coming between them?

How he wanted to believe that it could be possible. Eddie knew he had to tread lightly, cautiously - because of the things that had happened to him, Steve was still a volatile creature. He didn't have control of his emotions because he didn't understand them. Everything was still so new to him - he was still so new to everything. 

The thought of that excited Eddie, the things he could show him. Teach him. Open his eyes to all the possibilities - to truly let him be Free. Eddie thought about what Steve had said, about proving himself - that he could be trusted.

It wasn't just about leaving him another love letter, it had to be more than that. Eddie knew it had to be something deeper than just another sacrifice of flesh and bone. That was easy, that wasn't proof enough, and he knew that - Steve knew that too.

Eddie let out a soft exhale, and he smiled a soft little smile - he knew what he needed to do, something deeper - more intricate, something that would bind them together forever. Something that would help Steve to see who and what he was all at the same time.

If he truly was a Vaikštynė, then it would be the new beginning. Eddie still wasn't sure if Steve was exactly the same as him, Rosena said she'd never come across anyone like him before. Until she'd met Steve - but they still didn't know.

He let out a soft exhale, he wanted to go and see him - even if Steve told him to leave, even if it was just for him to lose his temper and tell him to fuck off again. You keep punishing yourself, stop doing it.

Eddie grabbed the keys to his car, and headed out. 

Chapter Text

Steve was laying in his bed - it was late, he couldn't sleep because it was too hot. He was tangled up in the sheets, which were clinging to his skin - he had the windows open, the fans going. The sound of crickets chirping loud - the night air was too hot. He let out a soft, breathless groan and shifted - too tired to sleep, and yet he was exhausted. 

Steve heard the sound of a car on the gravel in his driveway - and he let out a slow heavy exhale. He heard a knock at the door, and Steve sighed wearily - he managed to haul himself up.

He didn't get a lot of visitors, and especially not this late at night. Steve wasn't sure why someone was knocking on his door  - it was late, really late - almost 2 am. Steve wrapped the sheet around his waist - he made his way down the hallway to the door. 

"Who is it?" He asked roughly, there was no reply - just another knock.

Steve sighed, he slipped the chain over it door and then he opened it - breathing out slowly.

Eddie.

"What do you want." Steve asked softly - his voice was lazy, his words heavy - the drawl more pronounced. 

Eddie said huskily, "Can I come in?"

Steve shut the door, he stared at it - not sure he really wanted to let Eddie inside. But then he slid the chain free, unlocked the screen and opened the door - letting him come inside. Steve locked the screen door, but left the door open - he licked his lips - keeping his gaze on anything but Eddie's face. 

"What are you doing.. here?." Steve asked softly.

Eddie didn't answer him, he just pushed Steve up against the wall - and he was kissing him. It wasn't a soft kiss - it was hungry, deep and possessive - Steve was caught off guard, but he let out soft moan, torn between wanting it and wanting to push him away. He never knew what to do when Eddie did this - he wanted him so desperately, but it scared the hell out of him.

He let out a shaky whimper, as Eddie cradled his head - his tongue stroking Steve's - and Steve pulled his head back, gasping out softly - "W-what.. a-are you doing.."

Eddie said huskily, "I... wanted to.. see you, talk.. to you.."

Steve whispered back, "That isn't... talking.. to m-me.." He was holding the sheet around his waist - and Eddie lowered his gaze, eyes dark - he murmured, "...No.. I guess not.."

They breathed out against each other's mouths - both of them were close, so close - trembling.

Steve whispered - "You...kissed me.."

"Yes... I did." Eddie whispered back, and then he licked at Steve's mouth again - and Steve let out a needy sound - "I...no.." He muttered softly, his cheeks pink and Eddie murmured - "No?"

"No Eddie..." Steve whispered, his lashes were kissing his cheeks - and Eddie murmured softly, "I... couldn't sleep - I.. couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Why... why do you keep saying things like that." Steve said softly, he breathed out against Eddie's mouth - and whispered, "I told you that I don't trust you."

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's throat, gripping gently - then a little tighter and Steve's eyes opened - they stared at each other in the darkness and Eddie said softly, "I know you don't, but you can.." 

Steve whispered, "No... I can't." He let out a shaky exhale as Eddie whispered, "You can.."

They breathed each other's breath, and Steve let his eyes close as the older man stroked his fingers against his skin - Eddie murmured softly, "I want...to show you that you can. Not just ...leave you another love letter, but show you..."

Steve whispered, "Show me?" He let his eyes flutter closed as Eddie stroked his fingers - feather light, leaving fire in their wake - setting him a light. He trembled and Eddie murmured, "Yes.. I want you to let me show you instead. I want.. to show you who I am.. who... you are. Will you let me?"

He stared at Eddie from under his lashes, and then Steve whispered - "Yes."

Eddie murmured softly, "Yes?" He cradled Steve's face - sliding his fingers into his hair and Steve whispered, "Yes Eddie... I'll let you show me." 

The older man smiled, a soft little smile - brushing his thumb over Steve's mouth - and Steve said softly, his voice had a rasp to it - "You... don't want to just.. leave another love letter...do you." 

Eddie whispered, "No my Darling boy, I don't... I want to give you more than that.." He leaned in closer and Steve let out shaky exhale as Eddie licked against his throat - he whispered against Steve's ear, "I want to give you...something that you've never had before. I want to help you, but also prove to you that you can trust me... it will be.. all the things you asked for all in one... all at once."

Steve felt his breath catch in his throat, and he whispered - "You...r-really want that?"

"Yes.. Stevie, I.. have wanted that for so long." Eddie murmured it against his mouth, and Steve whispered - "You kept asking me if I hurt them.. if I did it.." Tears slid silently down his cheeks and he whispered, "I...w-why would... you."

Eddie said softly, "I thought maybe it had triggered you waking.. that.. if you did it.. you weren't asleep inside."

Steve didn't understand what Eddie meant, and he breathed out shakily - "I...d-don't understand."

"I know..." Eddie murmured, he breathed out softly against Steve's face - and Steve let his eyes close. "...Stevie... you saw me? My Shadow self." Eddie asked softly.

He nodded, and whispered - "Yes....just one time. I was hiding and you came back from the woods - with a deer."

Eddie cradled his face, and gently brushed his tears away. "Were you frightened?" He asked softly.

"No... I thought that you were beautiful, I... hid so I could watch you." Steve said softly - his eyes opened, and he watched Eddie's face - the older man had his eyes closed and Steve said softly. "I wasn't scared of you, I was... I wanted to watch you.. the light just bounced off you. I... felt like I knew you, but I didn't understand. I... still don't. I still feel that, feel too much.." His words trailed off and Steve looked away.

Eddie opened his eyes, watching Steve's face. "You felt that way, even... being so young?"

"Why do you always say that? Because I don't feel that way, I don't... I'm not just this... I've never been just this." Steve whispered, tears sliding down his face again. "You...never wanted to see me. You just saw the human me. You....left me." 

Eddie breathed out heavier and he said softly, "What do you mean? Just the human, that I didn't want to see you - I've always wanted to see you Stevie."

"No... no you haven't!" Steve's gaze shifted, but didn't quite meet his. "I thought you did, but you didn't. Nobody ever has. Just wanted to fix me - make me fit - make me normal - make me like them. You were the same, you're the same as them..." He pushed Eddie away, and then he moved.

"I don't! I don't want you to be anything but who you are.." Eddie's voice was deep and husky, "I... swear it. I just... back then you were just a little boy."

"Stop saying that! You think it was so wrong, and... it never felt wrong to me!" Steve was angry, his voice was hard and had an edge to it. "We aren't like... fuck.." He raked his fingers through his hair - "Fuck.." He was breathing harshly, and his body was all tense - Steve was doubled over, curling his arms around himself like he was in pain.

"Stevie?" Eddie said softly, "Are you okay.."

Steve was breathing harshly, and Eddie moved in close again - he curled his body around Steve's - his chest pressed to Steve's back. "It's okay.." He said huskily, his breath warm against Steve's ear as he curled in close. "Just... tell me what you want to say.." Eddie murmured softly.

"I... always knew that I was different, that I didn't fit in my skin." Steve whispered.

Eddie said softly, "I... am going to ask you a strange question, okay?"

"Okay.." Steve answered back, he let out a shaky exhale and Eddie murmured - "Okay..." He curled his fingers gently against Steve's throat - tilting his head so that Steve was looking at him. 

"...Can you shift?" Eddie said softly. He felt Steve exhale against his mouth - and Steve whispered, "I... don't know Eddie."

"Do you still black out? Not remember - like when you went to see Rosena?" Eddie gently shifted Steve so he was sitting in his lap as he sat down on the sofa. 

Steve was quiet, for what felt like the longest time - and then he lifted his gaze - looking at Steve from under his lashes. "I... can't remember things... a lot of things.. so.. yes I think I do still.." He went quiet and Eddie whispered, "You still take all the medications." It wasn't a question, and Steve whispered - "Yes."

Tears slid silently down Steve's face, and he whispered - "I... drown, I drown and I can't breathe.."

Eddie gently gripped Steve's chin and he whispered, "I will give you my breath to help you breathe Stevie.."

Steve trembled, and he let his eyes close - he was struggling not to let his tears turn into more. 

"When you were a little boy, why did you... kill that deer and know to give me the heart?" Eddie murmured softly. He slid his fingers into Steve's hair and stroked his fingers against his scalp.

"I just...I knew.." Steve said tearfully, "I could... feel you. I.. knew you were hungry.." He whispered the words and Eddie whispered against Steve's mouth, "You were too, so hungry..."

Steve nodded and he whispered, "I... ached with it. I ... wanted.." Eddie watched his eyes close and he said softly, "...I was scared, scared to .."

They were both quiet, and Eddie brushed his lips softly against Steve's. Then he deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking Steve's slowly - deepening the kiss even more. It was a sweet, soul kiss - tongues slick and wet, the kiss leaving them both breathless - wanting more. 

Steve whispered breathlessly, "I've wanted you so much, for so long... I want to feel you inside me, deep inside - under my skin, in my bones... I want you to crawl inside me and never leave."

Eddie breathed out heavier, and he murmured - "I want that too."

"Please.." Steve whispered, he shivered and whispered against his mouth - "Please Eddie.."

He breathed out heavier against Steve's mouth, and Steve licked at his lip - they kissed again, hungrily and Steve slid his fingers into Eddie's hair - he whispered, "Please..." 

Eddie could feel how hard Steve was under the sheet, the sheet was the only thing covering the younger man's body. He murmured softly, "Are you sure?"

Steve stared at him quietly, he was breathing out in soft little breaths against Eddie's face - "Do you not want me?" Steve said softly, looking at him from under his lashes.

"My darling boy, I've wanted you... I've always wanted you." Eddie said huskily, "I've.. wanted you for so long."

Steve was blushing, and Eddie said softly, "I ache for you." He whispered against Steve's lips, "aš tave myliu." The younger man shivered, and he whispered - "What... does that mean Eddie."

Eddie said huskily, "I said I love you." He felt Steve's breath hitch, and Steve whispered - "...You do?"

Eddie murmured, "Yes... I have ever since I first saw you. Every time I look at you - I feel like I get pulled into a place that only exists for us. Nothing else matters - and the world around us keeps trying to take you away from me... I can't let that happen anymore... I won't." He could feel the wetness of tears sliding down his face, Eddie hadn't cried since he lost his sister.

Steve let out a soft exhale against his face, his fingers brushed Eddie's tears away - and then he brushed his lips - feather soft over Eddie's face. 

"I love you too." Steve said softly against his mouth, like he was telling Eddie a secret. And Eddie realized that it was - "I have for such a long time. Even before I really knew what it meant. I feel things that I don't understand. I... don't understand most of the things inside me. But... when I look at you, when.. I feel you there, I feel you... I always have. I know that you are the only one.. I always have known that."

Eddie breathed out softly, and then he lifted Steve up into his body as he stood up. Steve curled his legs around Eddie's waist - and Eddie held the sheet, he carried Steve down the hallway and into the bedroom and Steve whispered, "Say it... again?"

"aš tave myliu." Eddie murmured softly, he kissed Steve's throat - whispering the words against his skin and Steve whispered, "aš tave myliu." The words from his mouth, made Eddie curl his fingers against Steve's ass, he held him a little tighter - "You say that perfectly..." His voice all rough and Steve murmured softly, "It sounds beautiful in your language."

Eddie gently laid Steve down against the bed and Steve stared up at him, curling his fingers against the sheet - his cheeks pink. 

"Tu tokia graži, aš su tavimi mylėsiuosi." (You are so beautiful, I am going to make love to you) Eddie said huskily as he stared down at Steve. He pulled his clothes off, and then stepped in closer - Steve said softly, "...What are you saying to me hmm?" His voice was soft and raspy, like molasses and Eddie smirked - "Its a secret.."

Steve let out a soft laugh, and Eddie smiled a soft little smile - he slowly pulled the sheet away from Steve's body - and then he crawled over the top of Steve. 

"I said that you are beautiful.." Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, kissing him softly as he rolled his hips down into Steve's - "and that I am going to make love to you.."

Steve let out a shaky exhale, his breath catching as Eddie rolled his hips - his fingers stroking against Steve's legs as he curled them up around his waist. Eddie kissed Steve deeply, their tongues dancing - and Eddie felt Steve shiver as he stroked his tongue deeper. 

He pulled back slowly and Eddie said huskily, "..We don't have to, if you're not ready for that.. I just.. I want too..' 

Steve slid his fingers into his hair and he whispered, "I...want too.." His cheeks were pink, Eddie could feel his heart beating in his chest - "I love you.." Eddie said softly, "I want it to be special for you.." Steve looked up at him, from under his lashes and he whispered - "...I love you too."

Eddie gently gripped Steve's chin and he whispered, "Tomorrow night.. I will show you, prove to you... it will be a special night.. at the end of it... if you want.." He stared down at Steve - "I'll make love to you."

Steve said softly, "Tomorrow..." His blush deepened and then he curled his arms around Eddie, burying his face in against his neck - hiding his face. 

"Yes, my darling.. my pretty boy. Tomorrow?" Eddie shifted them so they were laying all curled up together on their sides - Steve whispered - "Yes... tomorrow."

Eddie gently stroked his fingers against Steve's side - and Steve said softly, "Eddie?"

He looked down at him as Steve shifted his head, "Yes my sweet Boy? He asked softly.

Steve said shyly, his cheeks still pink - "...I'm a little scared. I've never..." His voice was soft, so very soft. 

Eddie just stared at him, liking that Steve had never been with anyone. That he would be his, and only his. Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, "Don't be scared Mažas paukštis, I will take care of you." (Little Bird)

Steve pressed in closer, and Eddie placed soft kisses against his face - "I will I promise." He murmured softly.  

He shifted so that Steve was laying on top of him, and he whispered against Steve's mouth - "I'll show you, I will prove to you that you can trust me - that I'm yours..."

Steve whimpered softly as Eddie stroked his back and rolled his hips up - "I'm yours too.." Steve whispered shakily, and Eddie growled against his throat - "I know... I know you are, and tomorrow night... tomorrow night I will make you mine.."

They rocked together, and Steve whispered against his mouth - "I want you to make me yours, so much Eddie.." His eyes fluttered closed as Eddie licked at his mouth teasingly. 

"I will.. I'll bury myself so deep inside you.. you'll forget everything else.. you will want...me there.. to stay.." Eddie whispered.

"Please... Eddie.." Steve moaned softly, as they rocked their hips together - Steve sucked on Eddie's bottom lip and he whispered, "Please.. touch me.. touch me.."

Eddie rolled them over, he kissed Steve deeply - Steve whimpered into the kiss - kissing him back, just as hungry - chasing Eddie's tongue as he pulled back. The kiss leaving them both breathless. 

He growled huskily, "Roll over... onto your belly." Eddie gave Steve a soft bite to his bottom lip - the younger man rolled over and he curled his fingers into the sheet as Eddie kissed down his back, he bit softly into Steve's ass cheek - then sucked, making Steve let out a soft - dirty little noise. 

Eddie smirked and then gave his ass a soft little slap - Steve let out a soft moan and then Eddie spread his cheeks - he spat slowly, obscenely - the spit landing against Steve's tight little asshole. "Jesus.." Steve's voice was rough, breathless - the heat in his cheeks making them a deeper shade of pink. 

He looked at Eddie over his shoulder, breathing harder and Eddy smirked - but then he leaned in and lapped with his tongue, making Steve whimper - and Eddie let out a dirty moan, holding Steve's hips as he sucked hard against the tight little pucker and then pushed his tongue inside. 

"Oh..f-f-fuck.." Steve's raspy voice made Eddie's cock twitch - the need was obvious. Eddie pulled Steve back as he buried his tongue deeper, and Steve gasped out breathlessly - "Oh...g-god damn it.. you filthy..." Eddie licked lazily and teased with his tongue - "You taste good.. I told you... I wanted to taste every part of you.." His voice was husky and rough too and Steve moaned softly, "It.. feels so.. oh Jesus Eddie.." 

He fucked Steve lazily with his tongue, shifting between sucking and then burying his tongue. Eddie placed a soft kiss against Steve's ass cheek - and then he sucked on his fingers, kissing the small of Steve's back, the little back dimples - he licked as he slicked one of his fingers inside slowly. 

Steve was so tight - he was sucking in Eddie's finger and pushing back on it instinctively, wanting to get it in - "Oh.. hmm so tight, you want it.. don't you sweet Boy.." Eddie asked softly, and Steve gasped out - "Yeah.. oh.." He was panting softly, dark eyes watching Eddie - he worked his finger in slowly, and then eased it out - adding another.

"Have you.. never touched yourself like this?" Eddie asked, his voice rough - and Steve moaned breathily - "N-no.. no never.."

Eddie scissored his fingers and Steve gasped out, "Oh...fuck.." Eddie smirked, and then pushed them deeper - and Steve's eyes fluttered closed - as he humped the bed shamelessly - "Does it feel good Baby? Hmm?" Eddie leaned in closer, his voice dirty and soft - teasing as he rocked his fingers, as Steve rocked his hips, wanting more.

"You want my fingers inside you... look at you.. hmm.. so naughty... fucking your cock into the mattress... dirty boy.." Eddie gave his own cock a stroke - and he groaned softly, "Fuck yourself on my fingers.."

Steve moaned shakily, "Uh.. fuck.. you're...so.. Jesus stop.." He was looking at Eddie, but he was pushing his hips back, doing exactly what Eddie told him to do.

"Hmm that's it.. my sweet baby... you're a good boy.." Eddie scissored his fingers again and Steve bit his bottom lip - hard, "Are you going to cum for me?" Eddie whispered it, and Steve gasped out - his ass clenching tight around Eddie's fingers, "Do you wanna cum in my mouth?" Eddie eased his fingers out and Steve whimpered.

He shifted Steve onto his back, and stared down at him - Steve was so hard he was leaking - "You're so beautiful Stevie.." Eddie said huskily, he used his own legs to spread Steve's - and then he leaned down - his hair brushing against Steve's skin as he sucked his fingers - getting them slick again.

Eddie buried them back in Steve's ass - the younger man's cock twitching and then Eddie stared up at him - gripping the base of Steve's cock, Eddie sucked him into his mouth. 

"Oh... oh.. fuck Eddie.." Steve tangled his fingers into Eddie's hair - and Eddie sucked Steve's cock all the way into the back of his throat - while he curled his fingers in deeper - Steve gripped his hair tighter, and Eddie moaned around his cock - he felt the hot warmth filling his mouth, the creamy sweet tang of Steve's cum filled his mouth and Eddie swallowed it down. He felt Steve rocking his hips - could hear the way he came undone, the sound of it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard. 

Steve was shaking, as Eddie released him from his mouth - he stared up at Eddie from under his lashes - totally wrecked, undone and Eddie licked his lips - slowly easing his fingers out of Steve's ass. He sucked on them too and Steve blushed even deeper. "G-goddamn.." Steve rasped at him and Eddie smirked - he leaned in closer, and kissed Steve deeply - letting him taste himself in Eddie's mouth. 

Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, "You taste sweet, hmm delicious.."

"You're fucking filthy.." Steve said huskily, "So... filthy... Eddie.." 

Eddie smirked against his lips and he whispered, "I think you like it... don't you.."

"Mhmm.. yeah.. I do.." Steve murmured back and Eddie let out a soft breath - he licked against Steve's throat, and Steve whispered - "What... about you.."

Eddie shifted and he murmured, "I... just wanted to make you feel good.."

Steve whispered against his mouth, "...Eddie.. I... will you..." He looked at Eddie from under his lashes - getting all shy again. Eddie fucking loved it. 

"Will I what my darling.." He murmured, and Steve whispered - "Will.. you let me.."

"Let you?" Eddie rocked his hips a little, his cock hard against Steve's hip. 

Steve whispered, "I... don't make me say it..." He shivered and tried to hide his face. 

Eddie smirked and then he said huskily - "There are lots of things I could say but... they might not be the right thing... so... you should tell me... will I let you?"

"No...don't wanna." Steve drawled softly, and Eddie let out a soft husky little laugh. "Don't.. make fun of me.." Steve said huskily. Biting at his collarbone.

"You know when you bite me I like it... yes?" Eddie smirked and Steve was pouting - he stared at Eddie and then he whispered, "You're not nice to me Eddie.." He licked his lips, and then he added - "I.. don't... wanna say it, it... I..." He huffed softly and then said petulantly, "You...are just gonna tease me.."

Eddie said huskily, "No... no I won't I promise my Baby.."

Steve shivered and then he said softly, "You promise?"

Eddie nodded, and then he placed soft kisses against Steve's face - "Mhmm yes, I promise.. I won't make fun of you.."

They were both quiet, Eddie waiting for Steve to tell him  - Steve trying to get up the courage. Eddie stroked his fingers against Steve's side - slotting his fingers into the space between his ribs as he brushed his lips over his tiny mole on his chest. 

"I want... you to... to cum on me.. so.. I can have it on my.. skin." Steve finally said, his voice so soft that it was almost inaudible. 

Eddie stared down at him, Steve's face was pink - he was biting on his lips, and Eddie murmured softly - "...You want me to cum on your skin... where.. on your tummy?"

Steve let out a shaky exhale and then he nodded yes. 

Eddie licked his lips - and he shifted, sitting up - he kept his eyes on Steve, as he curled his hand around his cock. He stroked himself slowly - and Steve breathed out heavier - Eddie moaned softly, "You... can touch me if you want.."

Steve curled his hand around Steve, a little tentative - shy, and then he pulled it back and spat into his hand. Eddie let out a soft dirty moan as Steve curled it back around him - making Eddie wetter, slicker - and Eddie groaned deeper - "Fuck.." He braced himself back on one arm - keeping his gaze on Steve's as he rocked his hips a little, and Steve said huskily - "Fuck you're so damn pretty... Eddie... sexy as hell..." 

His southern drawl was extra lazy - the grit in his voice made Eddie shiver, and he moaned again as Steve slicked his thumb over the head of his cock. "Stevie.." Eddie moaned his name husky and soft and Steve kept stroking, a little faster. Eddie let out a breathless moan, and then he started to cum - Steve let out a moan of his own, their eyes meeting as Eddie's orgasm hit hard. He came in hot pulses against Steve's stomach, some landing on his chest. 

"Yeah... Darlin' so pretty.." Steve muttered as he leaned in and then licked at his mouth. They kissed deep and slow and Eddie felt Steve tangle his fingers into his hair. Then Steve breathed out against his mouth, but he slicked his fingers through Eddie's cum - rubbing some of it into his skin, but then he kept his dark eyes on Eddie - as he sucked some of Eddie's cum from his fingers. 

Eddie murmured huskily, "Do I taste good Baby?" 

Steve said softly, "Mhmm yeah.. you taste real good.." 

Eddie leaned in close and they kissed again slowly, Steve pulled Eddie in flush against him and Eddie whispered, "Feel good?" 

Steve said softly, "Yeah.. mhmm..I want you to stay.. don't... leave."

Eddie murmured softly, "I can stay Baby.." 

They curled into each other and Steve stroked his fingers lazily against Eddie's back - he murmured softly, "...Tomorrow.."

Eddie kissed Steve's jaw and he whispered, "Yes...tomorrow my sweet Baby.." 

Steve let out a soft exhale and he whispered, "Eddie... I.. didn't mean that I wanted.. to tell anyone bout ...about you leaving me the... love letters not really." He went quiet and Eddie lifted his head, staring down at him. 

"... I know Stevie.." Eddie said softly, "I know what you meant my sweet Boy.."

Steve whispered, "You did?" He had tears in his eyes, and he said shakily - "I... d-don't think I could ... bare it again.." He went quiet and looked like he was in pain before he looked away from Eddie, his eyes closed and the tears slid down his face. 

Eddie said softly, "...I'm not going anywhere.. my Baby.."

Steve let out a pained soft noise, and then he let out a sob - he bit down hard against his arm to try and keep it in and Eddie shifted, bring Steve into his arms and he held him close. "It's okay, my sweet boy, I promise... I promise you, I'm yours..." Eddie said softly, curling his fingers into Steve's hair. 

"After tomorrow, you'll never doubt me my darling." Eddie whispered, "I'll show you.."

Steve let out a soft, whimper - burying his face in against Eddies throat as he breathed out heavier. Eddie murmured against his ear, "I'm not ever going to let you go again."

He held Steve close, the younger man was still crying - his tears wet against Eddie's skin. Eddie whispered, "aš tave myliu Mažas paukštis." (I love you, my little bird.)

Steve dug his fingers in, his legs tangled through Eddie's - his body curled in as close as he could get. Eddie murmured softly, "aš tave myliu." He placed soft kisses against Steve's skin, whispering against his ear, "I have you now my Baby, I'm not letting you go.."

Steve let out a soft little whimper, and he pressed in closer. 

Eddie held him and he whispered, "You are mine, and I am yours... your name is written in my veins.. Stevie.."

Steve breathed out heavier, harsher - and he breathed in Eddie deeply. "Mine.." Steve whispered the word against his skin and Eddie whispered back, "Yours."

Eddie knew that Steve hadn't fallen asleep - but he felt the younger man relax into his body, Steve wasn't letting go and neither was Eddie. The two of them lay there together in the dark, with the soft clang of the fans - the crickets outside, their soft breath, the soft thud-thumb of their hearts beating. 

It wasn't like they were two separate people. But one - one entity - one being. And it was only the beginning.

Chapter Text

They were sitting in the dark together, parked up in Eddie's car - out in the middle of nowhere, the windows down the air was hot as always - the sweat clung to their skin, the night sky was clear - the stars out - littering the sky.

The moon hung big and bright - and casting them with its glow. Eddie looked over at him, and Steve let out a soft exhale. He shifted a little, slowly - and Eddie's gaze followed his every move. 

Steve looked at Eddie from under his lashes, the older man's eyes were black as soot - the shadow there was right at the surface and Steve opened the door, not saying a word as he slipped out of the car and then shut the door.

He went to the back of the car - and waited for Eddie to pop the trunk. When it opened Steve stared down at her - he tilted his head a little, studying her as if she was a bug. "Your turn..' his voice was so soft, but deadly.

Her eyes widened in fear - she stunk of it, it was like a perfume - heady and rich and soaking the air. Steve's nostrils flared and he yanked her out of the trunk and dumped her on the ground.

Her arms and legs were bound, she whimpered from behind the gag that he'd shoved into her mouth. Eddie got out of the car, looking at him - eyes so dark, and Steve stared back at him. The older man had his hair twisted back off his face - Steve leaned down, staring at her and then he picked her up - making her stand.

She'd pissed herself. Trembling - and Steve lowered his gaze, studying her quietly again - it unnerved her, made her more afraid - more anxious. She had never seen him as someone to be afraid of - never seen him as a threat before. Steve flicked his gaze back to Eddie, and the older man said softly - "...Are you going to tell me what you're plan is Birdy?"

Steve just looked at Eddie, and then he pulled him in closer - her eyes widened as Steve pulled Eddie into a deep, passionate kiss - Eddie curled his fingers into Steve's shirt, then under the material - digging into his skin.

Steve shivered at the heat of Eddie's fingers, and then he pulled back - breathless - he bit softly down against Eddie's bottom lip and then he murmured, "Yeah... we're going to chase her."

Eddie smirked, and then he said softly - "Are we?" 

Her eyes were full of unshed tears - and Steve stared up at Eddie, she wasn't believing what she was experiencing - that they were interacting the way they were. That Eddie was touching him, that Steve liked it - that Steve had kissed him. 

Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth, "Yes... you can run.. fast hmm?"

Eddie just watched him quietly, and then he said huskily - "Yes... but what about you?"

Steve didn't answer, he just stared down at her for a few minutes - and then he looked at Eddie, "Through the woods - it leads back to my house... I wanna chase her through there.." He let out a heavier exhale, and then Eddie murmured - "...I want you to chase her through there and I will see you back at the house?"

Steve stared at him, quiet - and then he let out a soft noise as Eddie gripped his throat - "Surprise me... I know why you're chasing her.." Steve shivered at the deep rumble to Eddie's voice. "To make her taste better.."

Eddie smirked and Steve nodded, breathless - the older man murmured, "I'll see you at the house."

He watched as Eddie got back into the car - and Steve grabbed her by the hair - dragging her out of the way. She whimpered - tears welling up in her eyes. 

"Don't waste your tears on me - it isn't going to save you." Steve said coldly. Staring down at her - she looked up at him, the smell of her fear was so rich - it made Steve's mouth water. It was just the two of them now, and Steve knelt down - he removed the gag from her mouth. 

"Please... please Steve, don't hurt me - please... I'll do anything, whatever you want... I.. won't tell anyone." She whispered shakily.

"Shut the fuck up Nancy." Steve growled at her. "I don't give a fuck what you say to me - I hate you. You fucked with me and you have to pay..." He curled his fingers against her face and she whispered, "Please.. Steve.." He gripped her throat tightly - and she went silent.

"I don't hate you because I want you." Steve said softly, "I hate you because you stole him from me." Her eyes widened again and Steve murmured - "He's too good for you, you're a nasty little cunt. He'll move on from you, find someone better. Someone that will love him the right way - because we both know that you don't love him. You're not capable of love. You're just a lying little bitch."

"I do love him! I.. tried to love you, but you... wouldn't let me. You never loved me back Steve." She said softly, tearfully - "I ...realized now its because you're queer." 

Steve just stared at her, "Oh.. am I?" He snorted softly, "I've only ever wanted Eddie. Nobody else. But you still stole Jonathan from me.. You lied to him, the same way that you fucked with my head. I could have loved you once maybe.. if you hadn't been such a manipulative little cunt. I .. tried to let you in, and you .. threw it back in my face."

He gripped her face hard and Nancy said tearfully, "Please Steve, please... don't hurt me."

He snarled at her, "Shut the fuck up." Steve stared down at her - and Nancy stared up at him. "Please Steve..." She said letting out a sob, he yelled at her - "Shut the fuck up Nancy you stupid bitch!"

She breathed out shakily, "I... please, I know you're not a bad person." 

Steve knelt down and he whispered, "Well you're right about that..." She breathed out shakily and Steve smiled - it was a cold smile - darkness behind it. Nancy let out a soft whimper - "I'm not really a person at all.." He murmured. 

He said softer, like he was telling her a secret - "I'm something else."

Nancy breathed out harsher - making a face. The smell of death, decay was heavy in the air around them - thick and cloying. The smell was coming from Steve. She made a face - and Steve growled, "You're being rude... I can't help my odor."

Her eyes, her pupils were blown with fear. 

Steve stepped back and he pulled his shirt off - then he pulled his pants off. Nancy was just staring at him - the fear was permeating off her body. It was so intoxicating that Steve could taste it on his tongue. He was naked, and Nancy was struggling - trying to get free of her bindings, but of course she couldn't. 

He blinked slowly and then his body started to ripple, Steve felt the darkness - the shadow of the night around him, he breathed it in - pulled it in. His physical body morphed its shape, turning into something else entirely. 

Nancy was staring at him with no sound coming out of her lips. He awakened what was beneath his skin - beneath his flesh. 

Steve's form at the moment - looked like a large spectral wolf made of Shadow. It wasn't the only shape he could take. But its the one he wanted to take right then. He leaned in closer to Nancy, using his claws he cut the bindings free and he growled, "Run."

Nancy scrambled to get herself to her feet - and then she ran - he chased after her. Herding her in the direction he wanted her to go. 

He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins - hear her heart beating erratically, smell her fear - Nancy was sobbing, crashing through the woods and Steve stalked her - chasing her into a clearing, letting her believe at times that she'd managed to out run him. 

Then he'd find her and the chase would begin a new - start over again. 

Sometime during the chase - Thatch and the other dogs had joined in, nipping at his heals - happy and darting through the vast undergrowth in the woods. It was the reason he'd chosen this specific form - because he knew they'd do it. Steve rounded Nancy into another clearing - and she was cornered, nowhere to go. 

Nancy was breathing hard - struggling to get air into her lungs, the dogs had her cornered too - and Steve let out a blood curdling howl. Thatch obediently lowered his head and backed off. From the shadows - Steve saw Eddie, he came out of the darkness. In his shadow - form. Nancy was looking between the two of them, panicking - the fear was almost beyond fear - something indescribable. 

Eddie was looking at him, studying him quietly - and that was when Steve shifted his form. 

He kind of morphed into a couple of different things, he appeared the same as Eddie - a tall, lithe creature with giant Antlers - but his final resting form was bigger, taller - it smelt like decay and death. Nancy was sobbing, broken - fear filled sobs. She was struggling to breathe - staring up at Steve with absolute horror on her face. She glanced briefly at Eddie, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. 

They were Shadow, without form and yet with form. They were Death, ruin - chaos. They fed on flesh - they were the Stagman - a Ravenstag, ShadowWolf. They had many names in lore and myth. Most of their kind were dead now - they were the last two most likely. They had been worshipped long ago. 

Steve's final form, seemed to suck the energy out of the space around them. It didn't really have a specific form - it was just mass, darkness - tendrils that sucked in the darkness. Absorbed the light, it had a slight shape of a figure - but not a true form. It could have been something, and nothing all at once.

He knelt down, close to Nancy - "I am nothing. I am the empty room. The dreamless sleep. The shadow's shadow. There was no pain before I was cast into the Underdark. Now you exist to suffer until you find your way back to my embrace." Rather than his voice being heard audibly - it was inside Nancy's head, and inside Eddie's head. Like a whisper in the air. 

He whispered, "I am Shar, creator of the Shadowfell, I was born here because I wanted a new existence." Eddie looked at him - and Steve whispered, "You knew me, before you were born here - I came to be with you.. to find you." 

Eddie said into Steve's head, "So.. you are Vaikštynė?"

Steve shifted back into his regular skin, and he said softly - "Yes Eddie, if that's what you call us in.. your language." Nancy was still staring at him - and Eddie let himself shift back into his skin too. He had tears in his eyes, and Steve said softly, "...We're the same.. you and I."

Eddie murmured, "You called yourself Shar... she was a Goddess, is the goddess of Death and the underworld." He stepped closer to Steve and whispered - "Is that your name? Really who you are?" 

Steve just breathed out softly, "I just.. know that is what I was called before.. before I was born now."

Eddie gently brushed his fingers against Steve's cheek, and he whispered - "It's... just... never.. I will tell you later." 

Steve whispered, "Later.."

He turned his attention to Nancy, he stepped closer - and then he breathed out against her face. Shadow curled around her and Nancy went still, paralyzed by his darkness. He hoisted her up on his shoulder, and then he looked at Eddie - "...I.. know what you are going to tell me." He said softly.

Eddie murmured, "...If you are Shar, then yes... I suspect you do know." They stared at each other, the dogs were looking at Steve and he said softly, "Thatch... go." They ran off and Steve held his hand out to Eddie.

Eddie took hold of his hand, and he said softly - "... You stopped taking all the pills, didn't you."

Steve nodded, he whispered, "Yes... I stopped taking them the night I told you to prove yourself..."

They interlaced their fingers and Eddie said softly - "....I can do that too, can't I - different forms." 

"Yes... of course you can. You know that.. You use that one because it was less scary.. or you thought so.." 

Steve murmured - "If you had shown yourself to me as a wolf... I wouldn't have been afraid.." 

They both let out a soft laugh, and Eddie said huskily - "No... I suspect you would have liked that a lot.."

Steve nodded yes - they made their way inside. Steve let out a soft exhale - the house was lit up with candles - Eddie had done it while Steve had been chasing Nancy through the woods. 

It was beautiful, the light - the soft flickering. Steve looked at Eddie - and Eddie said softly, "...I think we should... do it outside." He took Steve's hand and led him through the house - out the side door - standing together in the night air. 

Steve dropped Nancy down on the ground in front of them. She was just laying there motionless - eyes full of terror, but unable to do anything. Steve stared down at her and he let out a soft breath as Eddie cradled his head in his hands suddenly.

"..When you were thrown into the Underdark, you...created the Shadowfell." Eddie murmured it against his mouth. "When your sister Selune betrayed you - when you were kicked out of the Faerûn, I thought I had lost you - I was a Human then, a necromancer - I loved you so much Shar, I worshipped you... and when I died, I fell into the Shadowfell. You changed me." 

Steve exhaled softly, and he whispered, "Myrkul al-Kursi, that was your name then - such a long time ago. I changed you into a Nightwalker, you became like me. You had done such dark magick... sacrificed flesh and bone in my name. The Necromancy - because of the power you yielded. I was able to change you, breathe my life essence into you."

Tears slid down Steve's face, and he whispered, "But then Ao stole you away, and you became Myrkul - just the God of Death. And I was cast deeper into the Shadow. Lost.. nobody worshipped me anymore... they forgot, you... you forgot who I was... I lost you."

"I didn't mean to forget you... I swear... I always felt like a part of me was missing - even when I was reborn as I am now, I.. still remembered you - somewhere in the back of my mind. I knew you were missing from my life, I wanted to find you." Eddie said softly, "When I found you in the woods that day... with the deer." He let out a shaky exhale. "I thought I was... the only one."

Steve said softly, "My...Father he.. was like me - but he couldn't handle this world, he drank himself into madness and then did what he did..."

They stared at each other in the darkness, and Eddie whispered - "How did we wind up here - born here.." 

"Because I  wanted to be free from the Shadowfell, you were already lost to me - or so I thought. I... wanted something different, I didn't know it would be this different though. I don't remember everything." Steve shook his head, "Just... some things I can remember. I... just... I know that.. We are... I remembered you, even as young as I was, inside me I knew who you were Eddie." Tears slid down his face and he whispered, "I...knew you were part of me."

"We are two halves made whole." Eddie murmured softly, "We finally are together now my Baby." 

He kissed Steve deeply, stroking his tongue into Steve's mouth and leaving Steve shaking - breathless. 

Steve whispered, "Are you happy? Happy that we're the same, that you're not alone anymore? That we can finally be together Eddie?"

"Yes... yes my sweet boy, and you?' Eddie said softly.

Steve nodded, and he whispered - "I don't want to forget Eddie, I'm scared... scared that I will."

"When we kill her.... when you eat her flesh... you won't forget anymore Stevie..." Eddie whispered, "It'll keep you awake...for good this time.."

Steve whispered, "You promise?" He shivered the air cooling the sweat on his skin and Eddie murmured, "Yes... I promise. Once you taste the flesh, the blood - it triggers your real nature, keeps you from forgetting. It's... why I asked you if you had killed.. why I asked because I thought maybe it had woke your true nature."

"You knew... knew I was different.." Steve said softly.

Eddie murmured, "Yes... I knew, I just.... I wasn't sure if you were the same as me - I wanted it... wanted you to be the same.. I..." He breathed out heavier and Steve whispered, "We are...we are the same Eddie...my Shadow." He shivered again. 

Eddie whispered, "My sweet Baby. My...first kill - it did the same to me. I killed the Soldiers that killed my sister."

Steve curled his fingers against Eddie's face and then he said quietly - "I am sorry you lost your family too."

Eddie whispered, "You are my family now Stevie, we... will be each other's family yes?" Steve stared up at Eddie, and he whispered - "Yes... yes we will."

Steve had his head against Eddie's chest, and then he said softly, "I want to kill her inside.." He breathed out heavier and Eddie murmured, "What about the mess.." Steve whispered, "I don't...care.."

He picked Nancy up again and then looked at Eddie, "...Inside.." He whispered again and Eddie murmured, "Okay.."

Steve carried Nancy into the room at the back of the house - it was the darkest room, and Eddie let out a soft exhale at the bolts in the ceiling. "What...do you do in here?" His voice coming out raspy and Steve murmured, "I'll show you.. but for now.."

He put the leather cuffs around Nancy's arms and strung her up from the ceiling. He blew against her face again - sucking the shadow out that had been keeping her still and frozen. Nancy started crying again, pleading with him and Steve said to her, "Stop - you're not going to change my mind... you're my sacrifice to my God of Death..." She blinked tears away and stared at Eddie. "He is my God, and you won't sway me.." 

Eddie breathed out sharply as Steve gently pushed Eddie to his knees below her - "I worship at your alter, Myrkul  - my God of Death.." Steve's eyes were as black as soot - and his hands morphed into claws, he shredded Nancy's shirt open with one long claw - and then he just tore the material free.

Steve then made small but very deep cuts - making Nancy scream, Steve watched as Eddie's skin rippled - the fear intoxicating, blood poured down over Eddie's skin. 

But then Steve sliced her open properly - and it covered them both, Steve sank to his knees with Eddie and he whispered - "Do you approve of my sacrifice my Dark prince." He shifted and then slid his hands, his arms inside her body - the heat and slick of her blood made him whimper, and he pulled - the viscera, her insides sliding out onto the floor and more blood hit them both. 

Eddie's eyes were black like his, and he licked the blood from his skin, sucking hard. 

Eddie took Nancy's heart from his hands and then cradled Steve's head, "Yes, my love." Eddie held the heart out to Steve, who took a bite - and then he swallowed it. He watched as Eddie ate it too - and then he shivered, he carved open her body - and effortlessly cracked her bones open. 

Sucking the marrow from them, and he pulled Eddie in closer, and whispered, "I want to wear her skin like a cloak... you got her for me.... you helped me, slay my enemy... you proved it, more than." 

Eddie's dark eyes were watching him as he spread her blood all over himself - and then he spread it over Eddie too - Eddie sucked marrow from her bones, Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat as he saw Eddie's wolf form for the first time. He was bigger than Steve, eyes like two red rubies glowing in the darkness of the room. Steve's were like golden fire. Eddie breathed him in and rubbed up along the side of his body. 

Eddie and Steve crunched her ribs in their teeth. Steve let out a soft, low rumbling growl and then he shredded her with his claws. Eddie was watching him - Steve's bloodlust becoming slightly frenzied. Steve ate, he ate deeply - there wasn't much of her left. As he shifted back into his skin - he watched Eddie do the same - their shadow flickering back into flesh. 

Steve was a mess, covered in blood - and gore - bits of sinew in his teeth - he picked it out with his claws. Eddie breathed out heavily - and Steve was breathless, his muscles in his back taught - and Eddie said huskily, "You are so beautiful Stevie.."

He pulled Steve in closer and Eddie whispered, "aš tave myliu." (I love you) Steve gasped out breathlessly, "I love you too."

Eddie tangled his fingers in Steve's hair as he kissed him possessively, and Steve moaned into the kiss, Eddie picked Steve up, and Steve curled his legs around him - he was shaking, overexcited from the kill - from eating so much flesh. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he wanted more, he wanted to kill again - to tear someone else apart. 

Eddie whispered, "I... know... I know how much you want...more soon my Baby.."

When Eddie carried him into the other bedroom - Steve whimpered, the room was full of candles - their soft flames flickered around them. Eddie had laid blankets on the floor - and he just sank down laying Steve under him. 

Eddie murmured, "...I didn't...want to get your bed all messy.." 

Steve kissed Eddie hungrily, and Eddie kissed him back - he curled Steve's legs around his waist more - their skin was slippery and wet with blood. Eddie leaned in and licked it from Steve's skin - Eddie whispered, "You still want me inside you?"

"Yes...I want you inside me..." Steve whispered back, he brushed his fingers against Eddie's face - tears welled up in his eyes and he whispered, "Make me yours Eddie.."

Eddie let out a soft moan, he let out a soft breath against Steve's face - and he murmured, "I have wanted to, for so long..'

They rocked together, slowly - and Eddie licked the blood from Steve's skin, he let out a moan as Steve did the same thing - his fingers digging in - claws, Eddie let out a soft hiss - and Steve moaned softly, "I... is it painful... I'm sorry..." Eddie growled back, "No... it .. I don't mind it feels.. good.." 

They kissed deeply, Eddie possessively claiming Steve's mouth - and they licked, sucked - biting - rocking together and getting each other desperate, Eddie flipped Steve over onto his belly and Steve let out a needy moan.

Eddie licked down his back and then buried his tongue in his ass - sucking and then moving his tongue in deep, fucking him with his tongue till Steve shredded the blanket with his claws and begged him breathlessly, "Please... Eddie.. please.." 

He reached out - on top of the bed, he took the lube and said huskily, "Lay on your back again Baby.." Steve shifted and stared up at him - Eddie lifted Steve's legs, spreading them and he leaned in kissing Steve deeply again as he squeezed lube onto his fingers and then stroked them into his ass, burying them deep and Steve groaned out huskily, "Please..."

Eddie worked his fingers in, and he said huskily - "...I.. don't wanna hurt you Stevie.." 

Steve gasped out against his mouth, "I...need.. y-you.. Eddie.. please.." He pushed down and Eddie's fingers sank in deeper - Eddie watched Steve's face as he gasped out, "Oh...I.. don't wanna cum... till your inside m-me..." 

Eddie whispered, "You...want to cum on my cock.." Steve grunted soft and dirty - and he said breathlessly - "Uh.. yeah.. y-yes...Eddie.." 

He slipped his fingers out, and then he spread more lube onto his cock. 

Eddie, guided himself in - and slowly pushed into Steve's tight heat. His ass sucking him in - and Steve was clutching the blanket under them - staring up at Eddie, tears in his eyes - having sucked in his breath.

"Breathe with me Baby boy.." Eddie said huskily, "Breathe... relax... let me in.."

Steve breathed out as Eddie did and Eddie said huskily, "Yeah...good boy...that's it Baby... my sweet boy.." 

Tears slid down Steve's face and he whimpered - he clutched at Eddie's back, and he panted softly against Eddie's mouth. Eddie felt the tight heat of Steve's ass resisting him - so tight, too tight - and then Eddie was all the way inside him, and they both moaned together. 

But Steve gasped out, and he whimpered shakily - "It hurts.." Steve turned his head away - and he whispered tearfully, "Fuck.. stop.. stop Eddie.." 

Eddie cradled Steve's head and he said huskily, "Look at me... breathe my Baby.."

Steve breathed out harshly, and he whispered tearfully - "It hurts.. please.. stop.." He breathed with Eddie, and Eddie whispered - "aš tave myliu..."

"I...love you too...please.." Steve bit against his bottom lip, and Eddie licked at Steve's mouth - he slowly rocked his hips, and Steve let out a soft whimper - relaxing and Eddie murmured, "That's it...that's it my sweet boy.. let me.. in.."

Steve let out a soft, breathless moan - they stared into each others eyes - Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's hips. He slowly started to move, rocking his hips slowly - and Steve was relaxing, not fighting - his body yielding, Steve let out a soft little gasp against his mouth - as Eddie slowly pulled out and thrust into him again. 

Eddie watched as the painful look was replaced by pleasure - Steve was looking at him, with need instead - he whimpered softly, "Eddie.."

He whispered, "That's it, feel me.. feel how deep inside you I am.. this is what you want my Baby... I'm where I belong now.. yes?"

Steve's eyes fluttered closed, then opened again and he gasped out against Eddie's mouth - "Yes... yes Eddie.."  

Steve stroked his fingers against Eddie's back, curling his legs higher. Steve tangled his fingers into Eddie's hair and he licked at Eddie's mouth - they were moving together. Eddie held Steve's hips, driving his thrusts deep and slow - he kissed Steve deeply.

They got lost in each other, working each other up into a slow torturous dance of bliss. 

Eddie pinned Steve's arms above his head, interlacing their fingers - his thrusts driving Steve's hips off the floor, as he pushed them both closer and closer to the edge. Steve cried out as he came between them - Eddie watched his face, watching Steve come was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 

Steve had tears streaming down his face, his cheeks flushed and he just stared up at Eddie, the awe on his face, he whimpered softly - and Eddie rocked his hips, his own orgasm hitting hard - Steve held onto him tighter, Eddie bit down against Steve's shoulder as he came inside him. 

They hadn't used a condom, it hadn't even occurred to Eddie - maybe it was reckless, but he knew that Steve had never been with anyone. And for him - it had been years since Eddie had slept with anyone. Eddie had never really wanted too, sex had never been a big deal for him - not something he'd really given much thought too. 

Steve was laying there staring up at him - quiet, and Eddie was breathing slightly heavier - staring down at him. Steve nuzzled his nose against Eddie's cheek, his dark lashes kissing his cheeks and Eddie brushed his lips softly against Steve's jaw, then his throat - Steve whispered, "I love you Eddie.."

"I love you too my sweet Boy." Eddie said huskily, still trying to catch his breath. He placed soft kisses against Steve's chest - and then over his heart - and Steve whispered, "Was... it good?" He was blushing deeply, and Eddie stared down at him, "Yes... it was good, very....good.. yes?"

Steve nodded, and he whispered - "Yes... it was I.." Tears welled up in his eyes and Eddie kissed him, softly - whispering, "It was amazing my Darling.." 

Steve curled into him and said tearfully, "It was so good Eddie, I... love you... so much. I.. I feel.. weird...I.. don't know...what it is.. " 

Eddie held Steve in closer, and he whispered - "You don't have to know how to describe it my sweet Baby, and if you need to cry because you feel good... its okay to cry... its good tears yes?" 

Steve had his fingers against Eddie's face, they were shaking and he rasped out - "Yes.. good.. tears.. I...ache inside Eddie, its.. a good ache though."

Eddie kissed Steve softly, and he murmured against his mouth, "Good ache, hmm.. my beautiful Baby. I ache too.. now.. I am yours, and you are mine.." He breathed out against Steve's face and he whispered, "We...can hunt together, kill together... everything together.. You...showed me who you are, there's nothing to be afraid of anymore.."

Steve brushed his lips against Eddie's chest, over his heart and he whispered - "Mine... I've always been yours Eddie.." He lifted his gaze, and Eddie said huskily - "Always mine hmm?"

Eddie smiled as Steve nodded yes and then licked over his throat, and nipped softly. "Yes.. always.." Steve let out a shaky whimper as Eddie eased out of his body. 

Steve breathed out slowly, and then he hid his face against Eddie's chest. Eddie curled him in closer, and Steve looked at him from under his lashes - he stayed quiet and Eddie brushed his fingers against Steve's cheek, brushing his tears away. 

Eddie watched Steve as he laid down, turning away from him. Eddie stroked his fingers down Steve's back lazily - and he felt the younger man shiver - his body was relaxed, Steve was so quiet. Eddie kissed his skin softly, and he pressed in closer.

He smiled into Steve's hair as the younger man let out a soft little noise and he held Eddies arm around him, kissing his fingers as Eddie curled his arm around him and nuzzled the back of his neck - breathing him in. 

Steve said sleepily, "I'm tired Eddie.."

"Go to sleep my Darling." Eddie murmured huskily. He kissed Steve's shoulder and then his throat, breathing him in and Steve let out a soft breath - and Eddie curled himself around him - once Steve had fallen asleep, Eddie gently moved - he scooped Steve into his arms and laid him on the bed wrapped in the blanket.

He blew out the candles - but turned on the dim lamp. Then he went and cleaned up the mess in the other room. 

He went and took a shower - and pulled on some clothes that he'd brought with him, just some soft pants - and then he went back to the bedroom, he stripped off again and curled back up with Steve, who immediately curled up close.

Steve curled his fingers against Eddie's chest, the other he curled his fingers against Eddie's. Eddie smiled and kissed Steve's jaw softly. The younger man let out a soft little sleepy noise, and Eddie turned the lamp off. 

Eddie felt the weight leave his body - he slid his fingers down against Steve's back as the younger man laid against him. He realized how happy he was - how at peace he felt. How content - he had everything he wanted, right in his arms.

Eddie's tears were silent as they slid down his face. He brushed his lips against Steve's softly. The younger man let out a soft little noise in his sleep and Eddie whispered, "aš tave myliu.. my Darling."

Chapter Text

Steve felt himself rising through the syrupy air of the room, through the ceiling and the roof - out into the night. The sky arched above him like a great black bowl prickled with diamonds. He saw the kudzu swarming over the side of the house - and thought - I don't have Kudzu growing over the back of my house. 

That's when he realized that it wasn't his house in Woodville he was looking at - it was the house in Violin Road. In Chapel Hill. What am I doing here?

He was rising and rising - he could see the dark streets - the woods - it was like a mixture of his reality - and the past all rolled together. He could see Eddie's car parked outside his house. This isn't where I'm supposed to be, he realized. I'm supposed to be with Eddie.

All at once it was like a film being run in reverse - and sped up. Steve was falling in a dizzy spiral back towards the roof - through the sucking vines and back through the ceiling. And into the rooms - melting down the walls and crackling through the powerlines. Into the broken fragments of the mirror.

He was there.

The thought filled him with cold excitement - that was almost fear. 

Whatever, wherever Birdland was - he was there now. 

The sensations of his body returned, and Steve opened his eyes - he found himself standing on the corner of a city he couldn't name. It was like a composite of every city he had ever been in - the run-down sections and shady neighborhoods - ashen buildings - squirming with illegible graffiti broken and boarded windows.

Ragged posters stappled to telephone poles and peeling from brick walls. The few splashes of color in the landscape seemed wrong somehow. The sidewalk and the street were empty. The sky above him was an unhealthy purplish color that reflected back the city's light and masked any moon or stars, it seemed very late at night. Steve saw no signs of life in the buildings around him - heard no traffic - no voices.

But the place didn't feel threatening. He thought he recognized it - and he was sure that it recognized him. Steve just a direction at random and started walking - he thought he heard the wail of a saxophone in the distance, though it kept fading in and out until he couldn't really be sure that it was there at all.

He passed a dark parking garage - with a length of chicken wire stretched across it - a vacant lot - seeded with broken bottles and a row of pawnshops. A Laundromat - A Storefront for a Church of the Holy Light - and all of them were closed. 

Everything had a stark - slick, compressed look. More than two dimensional - but not quite three. The buildings were solid enough - Steve could feel the sidewalk under his feet, the cool night air blowing his hair back from his face.

He could feel the bones in his fingers moving as he stuck his hands in his pockets. Pockets? He had been laying naked in bed with Eddie. Steve looked down at himself and saw that he was wearing a black pinstriped suit - it was 1940's style, with a wide notched lapels. He had never worn clothes like this in his life - But he'd seen hundreds of photos of Charlie Parker in the same type of getup.

Steve kept walking, and he could smell the aroma of coffee, rich and strong - he eventually came to a row of bars - that seemed to be open. The block was lit with old fashioned wrought iron gas lamps on each corner. The bars were dark, but neon flickered far in their depths. 

The narrow alleys between the bars was darker still. A yeasty perfume drifted from them - the smell of a hundred kinds of liquor mingling and brewing a different kind of poison.

All at once Steve realized what was wrong with the colors here - the place was like a black and white photograph tinted by hand - overlaid with color rather than permeated with it. It had an appearance at once faded and garish. It reminded him of his father's comics - Bobby had always drawn in black and white. 

Steve stood uncertainly on the sidewalk, reluctant to enter any of the bars. The street seemed to grow darker in the distance.

Where was he supposed to go? He didn't want to get lost among the factories and slag heaps of Birdland.

Suddenly someone lurched out of one of the alleys, and Steve's quick step backward was all that kept the scrawny figure from plowing right into him. The guy gripped the lapels of Steve's jacket with spidery fingers, and stared at him imploringly. 

His face was gaunt, his huge eyes burning in sockets so deep they looked like they'd been scooped out with a spoon.

His long black coat hung on his shoulders like a pair of broken wings, its sleeves had slid up over his wrists as he grabbed Steve, fresh needle marks ran up both stick like arms as far as Steve could see. 

"Please gimme some credit." He hissed, "I got a big old shiny rock coming in."

It was Skeletal Sammy. Steve's quintessential junkie character. You draw a mean looking junkie kiddo.

"Sorry Sam," He paused, "I don't have anything." Steve said softly.

"Whaddya mean? You're the man ain't cha? You got these? Don't cha?" Sammy seized Steve's hands, held them for a long moment - Steve felt something gouging his palm and when he looked down there was a small glittering jewel in his palm.

"That's all I got." said Sammy, "I know it ain't much, but I will make good later." He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a dirty handkerchief - inside was a dirty used needle - the needle gleamed with a thin film of dried blood. "Just give me a little." begged Sammy.

"I don't have anything, I swear." Steve replied to him.

Sammy peered at Steve as though one of them must have gone crazy - and he wasn't sure which one it was. "I do know you right?"

"Well..." Steve wasn't sure how to answer.

"You are an artist, right?"
"Yes.." Steve replied.

"Then c'mon, I'll pay you double tomorrow - I'll suck your dick - anything, just be a pal and roll up your sleeve."

"What for?" Steve asked.

"The red baby." Sammy clutched at Steve's sleeve. "The sweet red, flowin' in your vein."

"You want my blood?." Steve asked.

Sammy nodded at him, the naked wretched need in his face was like nothing Steve had ever seen before. "If I give you some - will you tell me where I can find Bobby?" Sammy gave him a slow nod. "Will you show me where he is?" Steve asked - "Course I will." Sammy said. "He's been waiting for you."

They went into one of the dark bars, the interior was both garish and squalid. There was a dirty mirror on one of the walls - no bartender, no customers - the place was silent. They sat at one of the rickety tables - Steve took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve - some of his old scars where he'd cut himself were open and bleeding. Sammy's eyes honed in on the blood, he looked like he wanted to lick it right off Steve's arms.

"If I can shoot it now, it'll still be good and hot." Sammy told him, stroking his hand - and Steve wasn't quite sure if it was completely ambiguous - or if he was trying to be sexual. "You ready?" Sammy asked him.

"Clean your needle first - your not sticking that dirty thing in my arm." Steve muttered.

"No.. that ain't where you like to put dirty things is it.?" Sammy said softly, and before Steve could full process that remark - Sammy got up from the table and came back with a glass of neat whiskey - he took his needle and dipped it in - and then set if on fire with a cheap lighter. "Satisfied?" Sammy asked.

Steve had no idea if that really sterilized the needle of not - but at least the crust of dried blood was gone. He nodded and Sammy bent over - slipping the needle into the open scar closest to his elbow. A dark flower of blood fill the syringe and Steve felt the needle shivering with each beat of his heart.

Sammy kept hold of his hand, idly stroking his wrist and playing with his fingers - but as soon as it was full - Sammy took the needle out and then wasted no time - plunging it into his own arm. Steve saw Sammy's eyelids fluttering "Ohh.. that's the sweeeet red."

Sammy's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed face first onto the table - the needle slipped out of his arm and his hand knocked the glass of whiskey off the table. Steve went to lift his head - and his hair came away in Steve's hand. His handful of hair separated from his scalp and his head split open like an overripe melon.

Shards of his skull went skittering away - much of it just shifted into dust. His brain looked like burnt hamburger meat. Desiccated and crumbling. Steve saw something roll to the edge of the table - one of Sammy's eyeballs. It teetered for a long moment, then plopped moistly to the floor. The tabletop quickly became littered with teeth - there was a faintly spice smell, faintly rotten.

Steve stared dumbly at the wreckage of his cartoon character. He still didn't know where to find Bobby - and Sammy? He sure as hell wasn't going to tell him now. Steve rolled down his sleeve and pulled his jacket back on - he walked out of the bar. He chose a side street that ran alongside the factories but didn't lead directly into them. He didn't shed any tears for Sammy. Steve just kept walking.

***

Steve followed the same road - It lead him to an empty building - set farther back on the street than the others. It cast a flat black shadow - it looked like any of a million rambling farmhouses you saw them plenty when you were driving around the rural areas of the South. You didn't see them however in industrial sections of deserted cities.

If not the seed of Birdland, the house was surely its rotten core. If not an actual part of this strange - dead world - the house was surely its source. Steve knew he was going back in there now. If he died this time - it would be as if he had never lived the past sixteen years. It would be as if his father, had killed him as well as himself - his Mama and Didi.

That the last sixteen years he'd been living in some kind of alternate reality. Steve thought that the house was another source of its power over him. It was as visceral as the deaths. Without its yard full of weeds and green veil of Kudzu the house looked stark, broken - backed and sculpted of splinter and shadow.

The windows rippled with opaque colors, reflecting some light Steve couldn't see. As he crossed the featureless lot - they flared violet and then faded to bruise.

He walked up the steps, pushed the front door open and went in.

The living room was just as he remembered it. The ugly chair and sofa sagging - but not completely gone to mold. The turntable surrounded by milkcrates of records. His heard missed a beat as he saw another figure in the dim room.

Crouching near the doorway, was a slender woman - she was pale, and sharp-featured - she had eyes like Eddie's. She was stunningly beautiful. Her enormous dark eyes were slightly tilted and smudged with shadows, she was holding something cupped in her hands - and she was wearing a white evening gown - stained with blood. Her arms were swathed to the elbows in blood and gore.

She raised her hands and showed him what she was holding. Steve saw a gelatinous glob - it was a blackish color - made of mangled mass and shadow - he could see a tiny hand. "I didn't have money for a Doctor! I threw myself down the stairs I just wanted him out of me! Do you hear me! OUT!" She was yelling at him - he realized she wasn't speaking English, and yet Steve could still understand her anyway.

"You did not!" Steve said to her, "You might not have wanted him - but you had him anyway! He's doing just fine without you and where are you now? Huh? You evil fucking bitch?"

She crumpled back against the door, the blood mess slid out of her hands - and Steve had to resist the urge to pick it up and cry over it. It wasn't Eddie - it couldn't be. It was only a never-born phantom.

"Go away Evangeline.." He told her - not knowing how he knew her name, "Get out of my house - you don't fucking belong here. You're a ghost, and you're not even the right one!" She stared at him with her huge stricken eyes, then her head fell back - her hands turned into claws - a shudder went through her body, and then she blurred into shadow, vapor - and then just completely dissipated into nothing.

He stared back down at the spot where she'd been - and breathed out sharply, in her place was his own mother Elena. The same way he remembered - the same way that he had drawn her. Steve didn't know why he was here - what any of it meant, he passed the darkened room of his little sisters.

Didi's body was in the same place - Steve didn't want to go in. Hot tears slid down his face and Steve could feel the painful lurch in his stomach. Steve wondered what his Father had done after he killed them - had he killed himself straight away? Had he... drawn them? Why hadn't he killed Steve.

They were questions that Steve had never asked himself. He'd.. never gone back to the house when he'd been in Chapel Hill ten years ago. He hadn't been able to face it then - and technically he was only visiting it now in his mind. Or so he thought.

Steve had so many questions. He suddenly felt disgusted with himself for even asking them when there were no answers. What the fuck did it matter what Bobby had done? What difference could it make to him now? Maybe this world seemed as tangible as the other. He had felt the sting of Sammy's needle in his arm. He could smell the blood and sewage stink of the bodies.

You came for answers, did you really think they'd be written on the walls in blood? Are you ready to go back to the real house, to the empty house?

Steve didn't know. There seemed to be an invisible barrier between him and all that he was seeing. As if the house was letting him look - but not touch. You were never a part of this. As if he needed to hear it again. The dead were linked in a terrible intimacy - and Steve was the living. The Outsider.

You never had anything to do with it. Bobby left you out completely. They all left you. You were alone. And even Eddie left you alone. You - are alone - Always with Nobody.

He found himself standing in front of the closed to his own room. Steve felt as if he were talking a thin line between his past and his future. If he fell - he would have neither.

Steve saw his hand reach out, his fingers circling around the door knob and very slowly he opened the door.

The man sitting on the edge of the mattress looked up - his eyes locked with Steve's - chocolate brown irises - pupils hugely dilated stared at him. His gaunt face and his bare chest were smeared with blood. His dark hair matted with it. In his right hand he held a hammer. Its head glistening with thick sticky red.

Its claw a nightmare of tangled cornsilk blonde hair and shredded skin. Pulverized brain and bone. Slow rivulets of blood ran down the handle and coursed in dark vein like patterns down his arm.

Steve was dimly aware of someone else in the room, a small still form laying on the mattress, breathing deeply - shrouded in covers. But he couldn't focus on it. The membrane seemed to shimmer and grow opaque at that point. Like a wrinkle in the fabric of this world.

For a long moment, he and Bobby just stared at each other. Their faces were more alike than Steve had remembered. Bobby's trance seemed to break a little - and his lips moved, what came out was a broken whisper, hoarse with whiskey and sorrow. "Who are you?"

"I'm your son." Steve said back to him.

"Didi and Elena."

"You killed them. You know me, Bobby." Steve moved into the room. "You better know me. I haven't stopped thinking about you for sixteen years."

"Oh, Birdy.." The hammer fell out of Bobby's hand, landed with a heavy thud on the floorboards less than an inch from his bare toes, but Bobby didn't flinch.

Steve saw tears coursing down his face, washing away some of the blood. "Is it really you?"

"Go look in the mirror if you don't believe me." Steve said quietly.

"No... no I know who you are." Bobby's shoulder slumped. He looked ancient - desolate. "How old are you? Twenty?"

"I'm twenty-four." He said quietly.

"Do you still draw?" Bobby asked.

"No... not anymore."

Bobby shook his head, "I... I'm sorry - why ... don't you draw anymore?" He looked up at him and Steve could see the naked pain in his father's face.  A terrible suspicion drifted like cold mist into his mind.

"Why didn't you kill me?" Steve asked. He had been waiting for so long to say those words. Now they sounded flat and lifeless. He now knew what his father had been doing before he took his own life. He knew before Bobby said the words.

Bobby shrugged helplessly, Steve recognized the gesture - it was as if he was watching himself do it. "I just kept sitting here, looking at your drawings - wondering how in the hell I could hit you with that thing - how I could bury that chunk of metal into your sweet, smart brain - thinking how easy they had been, compared to you ...they were like anatomy lessons. The body is a puzzle of flesh and blood and bone. You understand that... don't you Birdy?"

Steve nodded. There had been many times - when he'd wanted to bite, to tear someone apart - to pull them apart just to see what was underneath. Tendrils of blood swirling through water, as he slammed one of the boys heads open at the Boys Home. 

The memory of it coming back, his skull cracking open as he ate his brains out of his head like the tenderest meat. The way another - Garrett he had cut him open and feasted on him for days. He still had his bones in a box in the back of his closet.

The stark realization, that he had killed before - You've killed so many times and you blacked out - couldn't remember, you never remembered - you never remembered the taste of the blood in your mouth, the flesh you tore into... the way it felt as you buried yourself inside it.

"And when you kill people that you love you watch what your hands are doing. You feel the blood hitting your face and you wonder, why am I doing this? And then you get it. It's because you love them. Because you want all their secrets. Not just the ones they decide to show you. And after you take them apart, you know everything." Bobby said in his raspy voice.

"Then why..." Steve could barely speak. It was true - what he had suspected all along. Bobby hadn't loved him enough to kill him.

"Why did I leave you out? Because I had too, Because I sat here watching you sleep, thinking all that - and then you came in, just now. And I can't do it Birdy, If I have any talent, any gift left - its in you now. I can kill them, I can kill myself - but I can't kill you." He picked up the hammer again, stood and walked toward Steve.

"Wait..." Steve put out his hands, tried to touch Bobby - But he was just out of reach and Steve's hands just closed in on air.  "Please...Daddy, just...tell me."

Bobby wrapped his arms around him, his embrace felt like warm damp fog. His outlines were blurring - his flesh softening and melting into Steve's. "NO DON'T GO, TELL ME WHY YOU DID IT! TELL ME!"

"You don't really want to know why." He heard Bobby's voice say, "You just want to know what it felt like."

Steve felt the viscous fog seep into his bones, curling up inside his skull and it blurring out his vision - he could feel blood running down the hammer handle - warm and sticky over his fingers. Mingling with the blood of his own scars. From the corner of his eye, he saw his drawings fluttering on the wall like trapped wings.

"Tell me," He whispered.

You're an artist, the voice whispered back. It was deep inside his head now. Go find out for yourself.

Then the world blinked out, like a blown light bulb.

***

Eddie was jolted awake almost violently - the room was dark - he didn't remember blowing out the candles, although he knew he did. He didn't remember turning the lamp off either. He forced his eyes open, trying to wake himself up - it was strange because it was like he couldn't recall going to sleep.

He realized that Steve was sitting opposite - facing the wall, just sitting there - in the dark not saying anything. Eddie said huskily, "Stevie?"

There was no response - Steve wasn't moving, he wasn't saying anything and Eddie let out a soft exhale - he felt like something was wrong. He shifted and then flicked the dim lamp back on - Steve was sitting there, his hair was tangled - sweat-soaked and hanging down his back. Steve didn't have long hair last night, the hell is going on.

He was bloody, and clutched in his right fist was a hammer. Glistening with blood and other matter. Eddie knew that Steve hadn't hit him - if all that gunk was his he wouldn't be breathing right now. But what had Steve done? Eddie propped himself up on one elbow and he said softly, "Stevie... are you okay?"

No response.

"Stevie?" Eddie's fingers brushed against Steve's skin, his flesh felt cold and smooth as marble - and Eddie pushed himself closer, his voice husky and soft as he said, "Stevie? Baby... what happened, are you okay?"

Steve turned his head, just a little - his face was half hidden in shadow - his eyes haunted, and Eddie breathed out sharply - "He saw me." Steve said in a strange empty voice. "He saw me in my room."

"Who, when?" Eddie murmured, "Baby who are you talking about?"

"My father." Steve whispered. There was recognition in Steve's eyes, but no warmth. Looking into them was like falling through into a void. "He saw me come in there that night. He talked to me."

Eddie said quietly, cautiously - "Where were you?"

"Birdland." Steve said in his strange empty voice.

"No, I mean.. where were you, or.. when? When were you... I don't. am I making sense." Eddie muttered softly, he wasn't even sure what he was trying to ask - but something had happened while they both slept.

"The house where they died, that night - I saw my mother dead. I saw my sister dead. I .. saw Bobby alive - he was sitting on the mattress deciding whether to kill me - he saw me. He spoke to me. And he decided that he couldn't do it. It was my own fault." Steve was staring at the wall - and Eddie let out a soft exhale of breath.

"I don't understand, you mean you woke up and you talked him out of it?" Eddie asked.

"NO! He saw me the way I am NOW! He talked to ME NOW, and little me - was asleep on the mattress, while he sat there talking to me. Then he went and HUNG HIMSELF! LOOK AT THIS! DON'T YOU SEE?" Steve gestured wildly with the hammer.

A tiny gobbet of gore hit Eddie's face - he shrank back and wiped it away. "He talked to you aged twenty-four?"

"Yes." Steve said hoarsely.

"He was haunted by you from this.. timeline." Eddie asked.

"Yes." Steve whispered.

"Shit.." Eddie's head was starting to clear a little - it almost made sense. He thought of hauntings - if they existed - that they might operate on loops of time. 

A lot of New Orleans famous ghost stories which the ghosts appeared in the same place - repeated the same actions again and again.

"I have to get ready for the puzzle of flesh." Steve said suddenly, in that weird voice.

Eddie murmured, "Okay Baby - I'll help you with that, but maybe you could put the hammer down? Or give it to me."

Steve slowly shook his head, and he said softly, his eyes on Eddie's they were full of lust, pleading  - naked terror.

The younger man shook his head, "I can't." Steve rasped out -  He leapt for Eddie, and Eddie managed to get out of the way - Steve smashed the hammer into the wall. And Eddie managed to get off the mattress, scrambling around the bed. 

"What are you doing..." Eddie asked him - breathing out slightly heavier.

"I.. want to know what it feels like, to ... know what your insides are like, so I can.. crawl inside.." Steve's tears slid down his face and Eddie breathed out sharply.

He realized how his Beautiful boy, was still so broken. Traumatized by what happened to him.

"Listen to me Stevie, my... sweet boy. You already know how it feels, to kill - and you can do it again, as many times as you want... I'll help you, you can draw again - your imagination your mind, is so much more... more than Bobby's ever was. You don't want to kill me Stevie.. you.. love me.." Eddie's voice was soothing, soft and lilting.

"I do..." Steve whispered tearfully, "I do love you...but you'll leave me... you will. I know you will. If.. I.. kill you I can keep you with me forever.."

Eddie let out a slow exhale, and he murmured - "...I love you Stevie. My Darling, you have me forever - I swear it."

"I can take you with me... to Birdland I can... k-keep you with me forever.." He let out a harsh sob, still clutching the hammer tightly - "We can both stay there, stay together in Birdland..."

Eddie said huskily, his voice soft - "If you kill me, you'll be alone.."

Steve whimpered, and he felt Steve's body press in closer - Eddie curled his arms around the younger man, feeling the sharpness of his bones.

Eddie got the hammer out of his hands, and he felt the hardness of Steve's cock - his own was hard too.

Steve breathed out harshly, and Eddie bit into Steve's throat - Steve let out a harsher sob, but it seemed to bring him out of the cloudy fugue - he clung to Eddie, and whimpered at the pain of the bite. 

Eddie lifted Steve into his arms, and Steve curled his legs around his body. As Eddie carried Steve into the bathroom - the younger man dropped the hammer, but it flickered - and then just phased out of their time/space completely. 

Eddie turned on the shower - making the water as hot as he could. He got them both in - under the spray, Steve mumbled something incoherent and Eddie said softly, "It's okay, it's okay Baby.."

Steve whispered shakily, "She.. told me she aborted you, your mother.. Evangeline.."

Eddie let out a sharp breath, cradling Steve's face - he was puzzled by his words, How did he know? Eddie said quietly, "She tried too, didn't want me... she got pregnant to a Nazi soldier after he raped her.. Mischa and I didn't have the same father." 

Steve stared at Eddie, his gaze intense and Eddie murmured, "How... did you know that though."

"I saw her, your Mama... she told me, she was in... the house - the house in Birdland.." Steve whispered, shivering as he started to cry - "I... remember other things, bad.. things.. I've done. I... used heroin... I.. in New Orleans.. I.. did Heroin with Garrett... he.. I killed him.."

Eddie cradled Steve's face in his hands and he whispered, "I.. maybe you are remembering because you're awake now."

Steve nodded yes, and Eddie gently washed Steve's body - washed the blood away, then he washed his hair. "...I don't know how I ended up in the house.. but I was there." Steve whispered, "It was like I became him, I killed them instead - I don't know what's real, what isn't I... did I kill them? I don't know - I don't know how can I be in two places at once - two different people? I don't understand.. I don't understand!" 

"My sweet Boy, you're safe now Stevie, I've got you." Eddie said softly, as Steve clung to him.

"I... wanted to kill you... I.. wanted to eat your heart Eddie." Tears slid down his face, and Steve said hoarsely - "I... I've done it a lot.."

"You.. have a fear of being abandoned, after.. what happened to you..." Eddie said softly, "Stevie... I'm not going to leave you.."

"You... already did.." Steve whispered, his eyes were full of pain. "You... already fucking did.." He breathed out harshly, clawing at his arms. 

Eddie murmured - "I.. I didn't mean to have that happen, I swear it ...I.." He curled his body around Steve's stopping him from clawing at himself - "I would go back and change that if I could, I swear it Stevie."

Steve whispered shakily, "I... I know you will again.... I know it."

Eddie murmured, "I won't..' He washed Steve's back - and Steve was breathing all shaky - Eddie rinsed them both off, and then he murmured against Steve's mouth, "I love you - I.. don't know what happened to you tonight, but ...I thought, that you trusted me.. and now? Now you .. are pulling away from me again."

Steve stared up at him from under his lashes, and Eddie whispered - "I'm here.. I'm here Stevie, my sweet Baby - I'm not going anywhere.."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he breathed out shakily against Eddie's face.

"I'm.. yours, I promise.." Eddie murmured.

He kissed Steve deeply, slowly - Steve curled his fingers against Eddie's skin, and he whispered tearfully against his mouth - "I'm sorry.. I.. I don't mean to be like this.."

Eddie whispered, "You don't have to be sorry."

He turned the water off, and then climbed out - helping Steve out too. Steve was shivering - and Eddie wrapped a towel around him, drying him off - and then he did the same for himself.

Eddie curled the towel around Steve and then tugged him in close again.

"I.. couldn't remember when I first woke up too, it was.. an odd feeling." He murmured softly.

Steve whispered - "Maybe I caused it.."

Eddie lifted Steve into his arms, and he whispered - "We don't know what caused that, but... I'm.. just glad you're okay.."

Steve curled himself in, and he whispered "I love you Eddie... I'm... sorry."

"I love you too, I'm... scared to let you go.." He murmured, and Steve was blushing - looking at Eddie from under his lashes. 

"I don't want you to let me go.." He whispered, he was much calmer now - and Eddie said softly, "Do you want to stay here.. or would you like to come home with me?"

Steve whispered, "I... don't know." Eddie carried Steve back into the bedroom - and he said softly "Are you still tired?"

"I...don't know Eddie.." His voice was soft, and Steve uncurled his legs from Eddie's waist, he eased himself free - and looked at Eddie from under his lashes, shifting away - and Eddie let out a soft little noise. "...Where are you going hmm?" His voice soft.

Steve said quietly, "Gonna...remake the bed.." He was blushing again, and Eddie said softly - "Okay, I'll help you."

They were both quiet, as they stripped it off - and remade it. Steve was tidying up - fidgeting and Eddie pressed himself in closer, his chest to Steve's back.

"...What are you thinking about.." Eddie murmured softly against Steve's ear.

Steve shivered and then he whispered, "How much I don't want you to leave me.."

Eddie breathed in the sweet smell of Steve's hair and he whispered, "I don't plan on it.." 

Steve said softly - "I know I can't keep you here forever.." He let out a soft little noise in his throat as Eddie ground his hips into Steve's, "You can ... if you want.." He said huskily.

"You shouldn't say things like that to me Eddie, I... won't let you leave.." Steve whispered, he turned slowly - looking up at him.

Eddie pushed Steve down against the bed, pulling the towel from his waist - he got rid of his own and then he laid down - stroking his fingers against Steve's face as he pulled the younger man in closer, bringing their bodies together.

Eddie murmured softly, "Stevie...what do I need to do Darling, ... to make you understand that I love you and I don't want to leave you? I don't want to be anywhere else. We've been separated for too long, all I've wanted is to have you back in my arms.."

Steve let out a soft little exhale, and Eddie murmured - "Marry me."

They just stared at each other - Steve's breath caught in his throat and he whispered, "What?"

"I want... you to marry me." Eddie said softly, his voice husky - he cradled Steve's face - laying over him and Steve's eyes filled with tears again - "...H-how....you... can't.. w-what?" Steve's words all rolled into one, and he whimpered. 

Eddie said softly, "Yes... we can, we can... if you want me, and I want you - be mine, marry me... we can do a handfasting ceremony, its... more than a silly church wedding - we don't need that. It's an old practice, its roots in magick. I love you Stevie... be mine, marry me..."

"Y-you're not joking?" Steve's voice came out all shaky, and tears slid down his face silently. "You..."

Eddie said huskily, "No I'm not joking, I love you... I want you to be mine in every way that matters. Be my sweet Baby, my husband... I'll be yours - your husband. Marry me Stevie.." He whispered it against Steve's mouth, "We can go somewhere special, just the two of us... will you marry me?"

"Yes..." Steve whispered, almost inaudibly - they breathed the same breath, and Steve whispered - "I'll marry you.."

Eddie kissed Steve deeply, slowly stroking his tongue into Steve's mouth - and Steve curled his fingers into Eddie's hair, they kissed till they were both breathless - and Eddie murmured softly - "I will take care of you, I'm... never going to leave you Stevie, I promise you... I will never leave you again."

Steve whispered, "I'll take care of you too - I... I'm sorry I .." Eddie pressed his fingers to his lips and whispered, "You don't have to apologise." 

Steve sucked Eddie's finger into his mouth and Eddie let out a soft moan.

"Will.. you...make love to me.." Steve whispered it, blushing and Eddie said huskily - "Yes.. hmm of course I will.." He cradled Steve's face in his hands and kissed him slowly - Steve moaned into his mouth and it was Steve that deepened their kiss this time. 

Eddie felt himself shiver - and Steve whispered, "I love you.. I.. want you to be.. mine.. my husband.."

Eddie let out a soft little growl, and Steve shivered - he kissed Eddie again, hungrier this time. They kissed desperately - not wanting to stop, Eddie stroked his fingers against Steve's legs as he brought them up around his waist - Steve let out a softly whimper, and he gasped out - "... I.. need you inside me.."

He took Eddie's hand, and kept his eyes on Eddie as he pushed his fingers against his body.

Eddie felt his cock twitch, Steve's asshole - was slick and wet - and he rasped out softly, "How..." Steve whispered against his mouth, "Because your my mate, our.. bodies are in tune with each other - we're Shadow wolves, ...you.. you called us Vaikštynė? We're.. I..." He let out shaky whimper as Eddie slid his fingers into Steve's slick wet heat, his ass sucking his fingers in. 

"Oh...oh... Eddie.." Steve's eyes fluttered closed.

Eddie murmured - "...Why.. didn't it happen last night."

"I was scared.." Steve whispered, as he pushed back against Eddie's fingers - "I.. I'm not scared anymore.."

Eddie scissored his fingers and Steve whimpered breathily, "Please.. Eddie.." He licked at Eddie's mouth, and Eddie said huskily - "You're so beautiful my sweet Baby.." He eased his fingers out, and then he held Steve's hips as he pushed his cock in slowly, bottoming out in one deep thrust of his hips.

They both moaned, and Steve whispered - "I.. love you inside of me.."

Eddie said huskily, "...You're so wet and hot.." He licked against Steve's mouth and whispered - "I love being inside you, I could stay here forever.."

Steve whispered back, "Stay... I want you to stay inside me.."

They started to move, rocking together - Steve slid his fingers against Eddie's back, digging his fingers into his back - and holding him as Eddie rocked his hips. They took their time - touching and Eddie kissed Steve hungrily, but slow - savoring his mouth, his kiss - making Steve moan sweetly. 

They both let themselves get lost in each other. And Eddie whispered breathlessly against Steve's mouth, "I... love you Stevie, my sweet baby.."

Steve whimpered, and whispered -"I love you... I love you... so much Eddie.." He had tears sliding down his face - and Eddie kissed them away. 

Steve gasped out softly - "I... I.. don't stop.." 

Eddie growled out softly, "I'm not going too... I'm not... cum with me Stevie...I'm going too.."

Steve pressed himself even closer, and he whispered against Eddie's mouth - "Let...go.. you.. can't hurt me.. let me feel you.. let.. me. Eddie.." Steve's eyes burned like golden flames and Eddie let out a dirty, soft little growl - his own eyes turned ruby red.  

Steve gasped out, "Yeah.. hmm.." 

Eddie felt the sting of Steve's claws as they dug into his skin - and Eddie felt his cock get harder - Steve sucked on his bottom lip - his heat , his tight hole getting wetter around him.

"You...you're getting wetter." Eddie's voice was wrecked. 

Steve whispered, "My.. pussy loves your cock, it was made for it.."

Eddie let out a soft, dirty growl in his throat - and Steve's eyes never left his - Eddie said huskily, "What.. are you doing to me.."

Steve whispered, "You know.. you can feel it.. feel your cock getting harder.. you want.. to.. its oh.." He let out a slightly pained noise - but his eyes never left Eddie's.

Eddie grunted softly - "Did.. I just ..." Eddie's voice was raw - he knew about dogs, and wolves - he breathed out hot against Steve's face - and growled softly, "Shit... Stevie."

Steve whimpered softly, "Uh-huh.. yeah.. you just knotted me.." They were both in ecstasy, the pleasure going up - and Eddie rocked his hips, Steve's eyes fluttered closed and he was breathing out in soft, shaky little breaths - the pleasure making him shake.

"You.. Jesus.. does it hurt?" Eddie rasped out, and Steve whimpered - "Uh-uh.. it hurts so good.."

Eddie kissed Steve slowly, deeply - Steve whispered against his mouth - "..Now.. you can't leave hm.. till it stops.." He looked up at Eddie from under his lashes. 

Eddie said huskily - "Good.. hmm.. I'm gonna fill you with my cum...you're mine, hmm... aren't you.. all mine.."

Steve whispered breathily, "All yours.. uh-uh...god.. it feels like your going to split me in two.." His eyes rolled and he whispered, "I ...want it.. all of it.. your cum... I'm all yours...god.. I've been yours.. always.."

He stroked his fingers against Eddie's back and licked against his mouth, "I was yours.. even when I was too small for your cock to fit inside me.." 

Eddie growled softly, "Fuck...you're so naughty..."

He whispered breathlessly, against Eddie's mouth - "I know.. uh.. I know I am... I'm filthy, its all your fault... hmm.. I've always wanted you.. like this... I would hurt.. hurt inside with how much I wanted you, even then..." Steve arched his body, rocking and making Eddie's cock hit in deeper - "It.. feels like your punching into me..." Steve was whimpering, tears in his eyes - but he was still breathing out with those soft, shaking little breaths.

Bliss washed over Steve's face and he came between them, Eddie whispered - "Fuck.. you're making me crazy.." He could feel the first wave - his thrust driving his knot deeper - his cum pumping into Steve's tight heat. Making them both moan.

Eddie felt tears in his own eyes, he voice raw as he moaned - "You are so Beautiful my sweet Baby."

Steve whispered tearfully, "I love you Eddie...my shadow."

"aš tave myliu." Eddie said breathlessly - they laid there - curled together, Steve nuzzled Eddie's throat, breathing him in. 

Eddie cuddled Steve closer, shifting them so Steve was laying on top of him - he curled the sheet up over them, and he curled his fingers against Steve's ass, rocking him slowly - and Steve moaned breathily - "Oh... oh it feels so good.." He laid curled up against Eddie, there was just the warmth of each other, their closeness. 

"My sweet Baby..." Eddie said softly. 

They both were trembling, another heavy pulse of cum from his knot - made Eddie moan and he bit softly against Steve's shoulder - tasting his sweat, mixed with the sweetness of his blood. Steve gasped out - and he was cumming between them - his claws digging into his back, sending another wave of shivers through them both.

Eddie felt his cum leaking out of Steve, he let out a dirty little growl and Steve gasped out - "Oh there's so much... its leaking out - there's nowhere for it to fit.." Steve whimpered - "...I don't know.. how much.. more...I.. can take, it ... I feel like I'm going to come apart - hold me Eddie.." 

Eddie curled him in closer and he whispered - "...I.. don't think my knots stopping yet.."

They laid there in the dimness - the sun trying to worm its way through the thick dark curtains. Nothing else existed for either of them - Eddie had no idea what time it was, he didn't care. They didn't think about the strangeness of when they woke up. The chaos of it - nothing mattered but the closeness. The intimacy of the love they were finally able to express for each other. 

Eddie could feel his tears sliding down his face, and he murmured, "I.. never thought I would ever have you like this, I..." He went silent, and buried his face in against Steve's neck - breathing him in, and Steve curled his fingers, he whispered - "Eddie, ... oh Darlin'.." The drawl in his voice, that sweet molasses drawl - Eddie shivered, and Steve stared down at him.

Steve's eyes softened, the chocolate-honey color catching the light  as the soft tendrils curled in from outside. Eddie breathed out softly - captivated by how beautiful he was. Steve whispered, "I... forget that you've been alone all this time too, I.. I'm sorry that you have been in pain as well.."

They shared a slow, deep kiss - and Steve just stared down at him - and Eddie stared back, Steve placed soft - sweet kisses against his face, and Eddie's eyes fluttered closed - "I love you.." Steve whispered, like he was telling Eddie his secrets. "I will love you and take care of you, protect you... the way I know you will with me.." 

They stared at each other again, and Steve nuzzled his nose against Eddie's.

"You finally understand, believe me... don't you." Eddie said huskily, "That I won't leave you ever again. I will never let you go."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes, and he whispered, "Yes... I believe you - I believe in you."

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's face, and he whispered - "Tu esi mano mėnulis ir žvaigždės." (You are my moon and stars.)

"What did you say?" Steve whispered against his lips.

Eddie kissed him softly and murmured, "You are my moon and stars."

Steve lay his head against Eddie's chest - and he said huskily, his drawl all lazy - "You say the sweetest things to me... makes me melt inside.."

Eddie smirked, and then he said with a soft little chuckle - "You just have to speak and I melt... your voice is so sexy.."

The younger man let out a laugh, and then he snorted softly - "You're crazy, hmm.. your voice is like a spell... its all lilting and musical... damn... I used to love it when you'd read to me... I miss that.." Steve's voice got softer at the end.

"I can still read to you my Darling." Eddie said softly, he slid his fingers into Steve's hair - "Hmm.. I remember you'd fall asleep with your fingers curled in my hair. I always... felt so much calmer when you were with me."

Steve whispered, "You did? Me... too, I... never trust going to sleep.." His eyes lifted and he looked up at Eddie - "I'm scared to go to sleep Eddie.."

Eddie gently stroked Steve's cheek, shifting his head so he could look at him. "I'll be here, I'll keep you safe." His voice soft. 

Steve whispered, "...I don't wanna be scared no more.." 

Eddie gently gripped Steve's chin, and he murmured - "You don't have to be scared, not of yourself - not of anything. I will help you - but not to control you, I will help you be free - I promise you. It will be better my Darling. My sweet Baby."

"What if it can't... what if I'm too Broken?" Steve whispered back.

Eddie murmured softly - "You are in a cage, we just have to break you out of it.."

Steve's eyes fluttered closed - and he whispered - "I want that... to be free with you."

Eddie softly brushed his lips against Steve's top lip, then his eyelids - then his jaw - "Then you will be. Just... trust me my Darling. I am here.." He interlaced their fingers - and Steve's eyes opened. He whispered, "I can hear your heart beating - ...I'm sorry I wanted to eat it."

Eddie let out a soft laugh - and Steve muttered, "You shouldn't laugh... I... really did want too."

"If...I could without dying, I would cut it out and let you eat it.." Eddie murmured, amusement still in his voice - his eyes twinkling. 

"You have a crazy headcase for a mate - you're not bothered by it at all... are you." Steve said softly against his chest.

"Not at all my sweet Boy, I'm... a headcase but in a different way - you... have been through so much, I don't think its strange that you have some issues - you might be crazy, but you're my crazy Boy.." He smiled as Steve looked down at him. 

"...I... you know the.. room where we killed Nancy.. the bolts in the ceiling?" Steve's voice was raspy and soft.

Eddie looked at him, and he said quietly - "Yes?"

"I sometimes chain myself up - when I feel angry, out of control... I know... I can't control myself so I do that, I know I...am dangerous." Steve's voice was darker, had that edge to it that Eddie had recognized over time that Steve felt on the verge of losing control. 

"Hmm.. you do things to contain your anger, or.. to punish yourself." It wasn't a question, Eddie's voice was soft - and Steve nodded yes.

"I.. the last ten years - I still black out Eddie, can't remember things, shit I've done - its another reason why I was okay with taking this job, getting out of the unit..." Steve laid his head back down against Eddie's chest. 

"I was... okay with it. Living out here in the middle of the woods away from people..." He breathed out heavier, and curled his fingers against Eddie's chest.

Eddie said softly, "I was so pissed off when he took you out of the unit. It wasn't my recommendation - he followed Dr. Breville's and not mine."

They were both quiet, and Steve said huskily - "I... couldn't believe it when ... it was you."

Both of them were silent, and Eddie could feel his knot starting to retract - Steve was trembling, and he whispered - "Don't... leave me yet."

Eddie lazily slid his fingers down Steve's back and he whispered against his ear, "You're not in pain?"

"I don't care.." Steve whispered against his chest, placing a soft kiss against his collarbone. "Just....stay inside me."

Eddie lazily stroked his fingers - and he murmured - "Why is your hair long again, I ... don't understand how that happened."  

Steve muttered softly, "....You liked it when you saw it that way - when... we were with Miss Rosena, didn't you?"

"Yes, yes I thought it was Beautiful - I was... dreaming about it last night... before I woke up.." He suddenly remembered that he had been, and Steve murmured against his chest. "Maybe you ...did it - maybe you were dreaming in Birdland too."

It was a strange thought, but Eddie said softly - "...So .. I made your hair long again?" He slid his fingers through it - and Steve whispered, "I don't know Eddie - all I know is that, something weird happened - you said you couldn't remember properly when you woke up. Was it like... being in a fog?"

"Yes, it was... a strange feeling." Eddie said softly.

Steve slowly shifted, easing himself free of Eddie's cock - and then he laid beside him instead - Eddie looked at him and Steve whispered - "...I thought maybe you were...hurting." He was blushing and Eddie growled softly, "No... hmm I wasn't." He curled up against Steve's side and placed soft kisses against his face.

Steve let out a soft, sweet laugh as Eddie stroked his stomach - "That tickles.. no tickling." He looked at Eddie from under his lashes - and then pulled the sheet up over their heads. Eddie smirked and Steve whispered, "Why are you smirking huh? Have you got some evil plan to do something bad.."

Eddie laughed softly, "No... not at all, I am just thinking about food, are you hungry?"

"I could eat, but... I don't want to go anywhere yet.. I want to stay here and cuddle you.." Steve said lazily, snuggling in closer and he placed soft kisses against Eddie's jaw. "Mhmm.." 

Eddie smiled, and then he murmured - "..I like that plan." 

Steve stroked his fingers against Eddie's chest - then his stomach. "...Are you hungry though?" Eddie murmured softly, "Yes... a little bit. I feel like pancakes."

"Pancakes?" Steve said softly, "I could be tempted to leave for pancakes." 

"It's breakfast for lunch?" Eddie said with a smirk. 

"Mhmm.. breakfast for dinner.." Steve muttered softly, kissing Eddie's throat and nipping softly. Eddie let out a soft little laugh - "What is your aversion to breakfast at breakfast time.."

"I don't like breakfast, breakfast at breakfast time is too much too early in the day - its... just not right." He muttered, and then pouted at Eddie.

Eddie laughed softly, "Are you pouting about breakfast?"

"Uh-huh.." Steve murmured, and then he snuggled in closer. 

"You're ridiculous, but adorable." Eddie said huskily. 

"You know you love me." Steve said softly.

"Completely. My sweet Boy, I might convert you to breakfast - you never know." Eddie teased.

Steve snorted, and then whispered - "In your dreams Munson... it ain't happening.."

They stared at each other and Eddie smirked, "...We'll see."

"Uh-huh.. you'll see that you're wrong... so... wrong.." Steve huffed softly, "I don't... do breakfast.."

Eddie whispered against his mouth, "Not even if I bring it to you in bed?"

Steve looked at Eddie from under his lashes - "....That's cheatin.."

Eddie smirked, "...How is that cheating?"

"Because... it just is.." Steve drawled softly, "Totally...cheatin.."

He placed soft kisses on Eddie's jaw and whispered - "...I don't wanna get up... I'm... all tired and... lazy.." He let his eyes close and Eddie said softly - "So who says you have to get up? Hmm?"

Eddie watched Steve bit on his bottom lip, and Steve whispered, "I dunno... I told you, I'm... scared of going to sleep."

"You can go to sleep Stevie, I'll hold you - I won't let go.." Eddie said softly, bring him into his arms again.

Steve whispered, "But what if you fall asleep and... and I...do something - hurt you ..." 

Eddie said softly, "Is that what you're frightened of?" 

Steve nodded, not saying anything - and Eddie murmured, "I don't think you'll hurt me." Steve looked at him and he whispered - "I already tried too Eddie..." 

Eddie said softly, "...Do you want me to let you sleep, and I can... leave?"

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he breathed out harsher, he let out a soft noise - and Eddie said huskily, "I... can stay too, I just..." 

"...No, you.. can go." Steve whispered, he rolled onto his side - his back to Eddie, and Eddie frowned. He leaned in and kissed Steve's back - the younger man said hoarsely - "Just... just fucking go Eddie." His voice was quiet, but Eddie knew he was trying not to cry.

"I...can.." Eddie started - but Steve said again, "Go.... just... go."

Eddie let out a soft exhale, and Steve suddenly held his hand - kissing his fingers, and Eddie could feel his tears. "Just.. don't stay gone.." Steve said softly.

"Okay my Baby..." Eddie said softly, "I'll be here when you wake up.'

Steve kissed his fingers again, and Eddie slipped out of the bed - he pulled the sheet up, and he leaned in closer - kissing Steve's shoulder. "aš tave myliu." He whispered.

"I... love you too Eddie.." Steve said softly.

Eddie watched him quietly, but then he pulled his clothes on - getting dressed he left the room quietly - shutting the door behind him. Eddie let his eyes close as he leaned up against the door.

He tied his hair back into a messy bun, and then headed for the kitchen. He disposed of the remains of Nancy Wheeler - the best way that he knew how, he cut up what was left of her into manageable pieces - and then he went to the side door. 

He whistled, maybe not as good as Steve could - Thatch, and the others came running. Looking at him expectantly. Thatch's odd colored eyes looking at him, as if he was saying - Huh? Where is my other one - you're not him. "No... it is me feeding you today." Eddie said with amusement.

Thatch's lady friend, who Steve still hadn't given a name too as far as he was aware - wagged her tail, and then whined at him softly. 

"Oh.. you like me." Eddie said, not really used to that - most animals tended to avoid him. He scratched her behind the ears - Thatch looking at him, he moved in closer and then licked Eddie's face - wagging his tail and then pawing at him. Eddie held out his hand - and Thatch put his paw into it, they shook hands and Eddie smiled - "...Ah.. so we are friends now, hmm?"

Thatch gave him another lick and Eddie chuckled. Then he scattered out the contents of his bowl - the dogs all started eating - and Eddie sat on the steps watching them. One of the smaller - new arrivals, a little skinny black dog, was eating a piece by himself - he was scared, and nervous - Eddie said softly, "It's okay little one."

The little dog stared at Eddie with big sad eyes, and Thatch nipped at one of the others that tried to steal the little dogs piece of meat.

"You're a good boy Thatch." Eddie said softly, Thatch gave him a soft little bark - and Eddie smiled. He snarled at the dog who tried to steal it again - and then gave him a sharp bite. The other dog backed off - head down. Thatch was definitely the boss - but Eddie also knew that Steve was the boss of Thatch. It was amusing - and sweet. 

Eddie went back inside and washed his hands - and then he let out a soft exhale. He liked being at Steve's it was peaceful out here - quiet, and he liked the house. It felt alive, old and yet it just felt comfortable.

He ran his fingers through his hair - and then lit a cigarette, taking a drag - Eddie decided that he'd go back to his place and get some clothes, and maybe some bits and pieces so he could make Steve dinner later. He grabbed the notepad and wrote Steve a note, and then he grabbed his keys and headed out the door. 

Chapter Text

The night air felt wonderful in Steve's hair, the air felt good blowing in on his skin as they drove in his truck - well Eddie was the one driving. Steve was in the passenger seat - he felt like they were in a steamboat, piloting their way down a magick river. 

A river of shimmering asphalt that was glowing and sparkling under the light of a big bright moon that hung low in the sky. Banked by the pine forest that was so dense and thick, along with the rioting expanses of Kudzu.

They were outside of Woodville, not quite at Steve's - and not at Eddie's. Back from Eddie's - somewhere on the highway in between. They had the windows down, and the wind was whipping through their hair - the moonlight bathing their skin.

Steve had a bottle of whiskey propped between his legs and it was three-quarters empty. In danger of tipping despite his hand being curled around it. Eddie leaned over and took the bottle, taking a healthy swig.

"You been drinking... I've been drinking.." Steve sang into the wind, "We've been drinking but the road ain't drinking.."

Eddie laughed softly and said, "What?"

"Never you mind none..." Steve drawled, telling him - "Have another drink.." He motioned with his hand and Eddie laughed softly. Steve took the bottle back and he stared at the label trying to focus on it - "White Horse," He read, "Look Eddie... it's White Horse Whiskey, did you know that Dylan Thomas was drinking at the White Horse the night he died?"

Eddie said with amusement in his voice, "You told me, that's why we brought it."

"He drank eighteen straight whiskey's." Steve said - his voice awed.

"You've drank eighteen straight whiskey's." Eddie said with a slight scoff - eyes twinkling. 

"No wonder my brain is sailing with the moon. Sing to me Eddie? Sing me to sleep Darlin'." Steve's voice was lazy, the drawl more obvious. 

Just as Eddie drove them over the bright, that seemed to almost bow under the weight of the truck, Steve saw the moonlight shimmering on the black water below, and he was the one that started singing - the first thing that came to his mind.  

"I caught you knockin' at my cellar door, I love you, baby, can I have some more?, Ooh, ooh, the damage done." Steve was staring out the window - his voice was sweet and yet raspy all at the same time, "I hit the city and I lost my band, I watched the needle take another man, Gone, gone, the damage done."

Eddie was watching him, before he turned his attention back to the road - and Steve sang, "I sing the song, because I love the man, I know that some of you don't understand, Milk-blood to keep from running out." Steve took another swig from the bottle and held it out to Eddie, the older man said huskily, "Finish it... the song.."

Steve licked his lips and then sang, "I've seen the needle and the damage done, A little part of it in everyone, But every junkie's like a settin' sun...." 

"You have a beautiful voice Stevie.." Eddie took the bottle and took a swig - and Steve blushed, staring out the window - "... I ... nah.." He muttered softly. 

"Neil Young hmm?" Eddie said softly, "Why... that song?"

"It's ... about a junkie... I.." Steve took another swig - and Eddie said softly - "...Do you still .. get high? Was Jim right?"

Steve licked his lips, and then his eyes landed on Eddie - "... I haven't in a long time Eddie, not in a long time...'

They both went quiet - Eddie's eyes on the road, Steve's out the window. 

Behind them the river passed in silence, the lowest hanging branches of a willow hung - brushing the water, and its leaves rotted on the bough. The moon spread like butter on the black water. Steve let his eyes close - he knew that they'd pass more woods - pastures and empty fields, the vast green that stretched out before they got back to the house. Eddie was quiet beside him.

Steve said softly, "Sometimes... I think I did it to quiet my monster."

Eddie let out a soft exhale beside him and Steve felt Eddie's fingers curl against his hand and then the older man interlaced their fingers. 

"I... tried to silence myself anyway that I could Eddie." Steve's voice was soft, and Eddie murmured - "I know you have Stevie."

He opened his eyes, watching Eddie - as the older man drove, till he looked out the window again and then let his eyes close. 

Eddie reached out, and stroked Steve's hair in the darkness, moving it out of his face. He wondered what was unfolding beneath his fingers - beneath the bone, under the skull that cradled Steve's beautiful, yet odd brain.

What was born from murder and resurrected under his skull? What walked behind Steve's eyelids? What Secret phantoms were trapped there, that made Steve afraid - made him whimper when he was sleeping? 

He wanted to protect his Beautiful boy, to take his nightmares away - to free him from the shackles of his own making. They had gone into the city - had gone to see a movie - eaten greasy burgers and fries. Drank thick chocolate milkshakes - and Steve had been happy, Eddie had been too. 

But seeing the joy on Steve's face - the genuine happiness. The way his eyes lit up - the feeling was addictive. Eddie wanted to give him that as much as he could, forever if it was possible. 

Eddie was thinking about the mornings events again - that Steve had somehow been pulled back in time to the night that his Father had murdered his mother and sister. He didn't know how it was possible, not really - but then again he also didn't understand how they were possible. Two creatures, that existed - and yet technically were they supposed too?

Did other things exist, yes - strange and unexplainable things. Of course they did - they had to.

He looked over at Steve, who was so quiet - had fallen asleep perhaps. Eddie gently stroked his hair, reluctant to pull his hand away. Eddie suddenly was struck by the fact that maybe he was touching Steve's dreams, it was such an strange thought, but it unnerved him, he pulled his hand back and placed it back on the steering wheel. 

They were half way to Steve's and Eddie pulled up at the gas station - it was a self service place, a vending machine - a machine with soda's. And then the gas pump. Eddie let out a soft sigh, he put the gas pump into the truck - filling it up for Steve.

He put some coins into the soda machine, punching the numbers in and getting a can of coke. He did it a second time, and then he looked at the vending machine. 

Eddie got two candy bar's - he saw a cop car go racing down the highway - its lights flashing, and then another one - he climbed back into the truck, glancing over at Steve - who was breathing softly, his eyelids moving as he dreamt.

Eddie cracked open a can of the soda and took a deep long drink, his mouth felt too dry - and he drained it pretty much all in one go. He opened one of the candy bar's eating it - the chocolate melting into his mouth. It was rich and sweet, and delicious. 

He made a slight face - Steve's truck was actually a fucking mess. He thought, he'd clean it in the morning - because obviously Steve wasn't going too.

He started the truck again, and then continued driving - Eddie felt Steve's gaze, and he looked over - the younger man was staring at him, eyes fixed - but they had that emptiness in them.

He breathed out sharply, and Steve said in that odd detached voice, "When they were young, they were the worlds darlings, The world's opinions meant everythin.. to them.. Even though they tried to pretend it didn't mean nothin." 

Eddie let out a soft exhale, and Steve said huskily - "They are different now, the world changed em - Sully, them." The word sully rolled over his tongue like lazy wine - the word taking on a rich dark flavor.

"Sully them, the world with its dirty things, the toilet wall scrawls and smeared basins .. the never thought they'd be changed, but they were - they got tangled up so deep with each other, they're going home, back to New Orleans.. its been a long time - long time since I've seen them." 

"Who.. hmm? Who are you talking about sweet Boy?" Eddie's voice soft - the younger man said softly, "They are so in love with each other, their perversion - they became sluts for their artistry but they're tired and jaded now, insatiable on their mattress - too much liquor and expensive drugs - they feel like they're losing each other to the quicksilver film of their death - its too cold now, they want to drink each others blood, to consume each other - its desperation Eddie, they feel lost but they're not.. they just don't know how to live without each other and they lost each other somewhere..."

The high stupid scream of another siren raced past them and Steve's voice trailed off - "Shit." Eddie muttered and He slowed down - just ahead of them, the cop cars were parked up - there had been an accident perhaps? 

Steve was staring out the window - he blinked slowly, and then he reached out for Eddie's hand - as Eddie slowed the truck to a stop. They held hands in the darkness - the blue and red lights from the police cars flickering. Robin - she gently tapped on the window and Eddie rolled it down.

"Hey Eddie... Hi Chief." She said softly.

Eddie said softly, "Good evening Robin."

Steve was just staring at her blankly - almost like he didn't see or even recognize her - Robin said softly, "Is he okay Eddie?"

"Yes.." He replied, and then she looked at him instead - "Been.. an accident, but.. yeah we'll sort this out." 

Steve lowered his gaze, looking out the side window - his fingers were gently stroking Eddie's and he let out a soft exhale. He suddenly seemed to come back to himself - blinking he said hoarsely, "Buckley?"

Robin said softly, "It's okay Chief, I'm taking care of it - someone crashed, its.. just an accident... someone driving too fast - not a local.." 

She looked at Eddie, and Eddie said softly - "He's okay." She just gave him a small nod, and Eddie held her hand - she blinked and he whispered - "...He's okay Robin."

They stared at each other and Steve let out a soft little hum, his fingers were moving - and he was making a soft little clicking noise - Robin whispered, "Okay." 

The other officers lifted a body out of the car - and Steve blinked, he muttered softly - "It's a child."

"Yeah, he's.. deceased sadly - so is his Mama.." Robin said softly. 

Steve looked at Robin - his eyes seemed to be back to normal, and then his gaze landed on Eddie - Robin realized that he'd actually looked at her - she blushed and then she said softly, "Oh.. wow." Steve rubbed his hands over his face and then he said softly, "I been drinkin Darlin' - do..." She just said softly, "I've got this Stevie.." Using Eddie's nickname, and Steve let out a heavier exhale. She came around to Steve's side of the truck, and he wound down the window. 

"I've got this, you and Eddie - you go home, okay?" She said softly, and Eddie smiled as Steve nodded - Robin tentatively had her hand on the inside of the door - but it was Steve who brushed his fingers against hers, and then - he interlaced them. Robin said softly "You okay Stevie?"

The gentleness between them, made Eddie's eyes tear up. Steve said softly - "Mhmm.. bit weird, I.. I've been having a really weird day - but good too.." Robin gently squeezed Steve's fingers in hers, but Steve brought her fingers closer and then he softly kissed them. "You're a good girl, I'm okay.. just had a strange dream, about two... people I haven't seen in a real long time.." Robin said softly - "Was it.. one of those dreams you have that.. scares you? You.. told me bout them before."

Steve nodded and Robin said softly, "...Don't be scared Stevie.." Steve whispered - "Can we go? Or do we hafta wait.." Robin shook her head, "You can go.." She looked at Eddie and then she reached into the car - holding her hand out to him. Eddie took it and she squeezed his fingers gently, "Both of you... please come for supper on Saturday? Please?" She looked at Steve, her cheeks pink - her eyes full of tears, as Steve had eye contact with her again. 

"Oh.. I'm.. you have such pretty, pretty eyes Stevie - I'm not used to you looking a me." She said shyly, and Steve said softly - "I... feel like I can.." Eddie felt Robin squeeze his fingers again and she said softly, "You feel safe, I'm so happy you do.." Her gaze met Eddies - they both had tears in their eyes and she said softly to Steve, "Saturday?"

He nodded, and looked at Eddie - Eddie murmured softly, "We would love to come.. wouldn't we Baby." 

Steve nodded yes, and Robin whispered - "Oh, oh you... are together?" Her whole face lit up as she smiled - her tears spilled down her face and Steve whispered - "Yeah Darlin'."

Robin said softly, "...I'm going to cry like a baby, I'm so happy for you both - I'm so happy for you Stevie.. that you aren't all alone.." 

Steve murmured, "Me too lil Bit." She sniffled and then wiped at her face - "Oh shit... I.. gotta stop crying all over the damn place.." She let out a soft little noise though as Steve gently pulled her head close to his and then he whispered, "You're my best girl." She let out a soft little noise and then kissed his cheek, they were both blushing and Eddie wiped his tears away. 

Robin whispered, "I'll see you both on Saturday." She gently stroked Steve's face and then she patted the top of the truck. Eddie started it up again and they pulled away - Steve let out a heavy exhale, and he held Eddie's hand closer to his chest, kissing his fingers. 

"I had a dream about two friends, that helped me... when I first went to New Orleans, I.. wrote to Ghost for a long time but then.. I stopped getting letters. He.. him and his.. boyfriend Michael. I dreamt about them." Steve said quietly, "They.. I don't know why I did, but... they were kind to me, they helped me. I.. don't know Eddie."

Eddie said softly, "You're worried about them?"

"Yeah..." Steve said softly. 

"...Rosena, she knew - mentioned your friend Ghost to me.. she said he had helped you find her.. they knew each other." Eddie's voice was husky and soft - and Steve looked at him. "Ghost ...he was different, he would dream things that ... would come true?"

Eddie said softly, "...Are they in trouble, Ghost and Michael?"

"I... don't know for sure, but... I think maybe." Steve said softly, "... I don't know why I'm dreaming about them, I haven't seen them in ... so long Eddie - ten years.."

They eventually pulled up finally at the house, and Eddie turned the engine off - "...Perhaps we can find out where they are, through our channels at the BAU. That might help?" Eddie said softly.

Steve nodded and then he whispered, "Yeah.. I.. guess so."

They both sat together in the dark, and then Eddie murmured - "...Shall we go inside?" Steve nodded and they both got out of the truck. Eddie slipped his fingers through Steve's and he said softly, "Are you alright my Darling?"

"Yeah... I'm alright." Steve said softly, he shivered a little - and then he added, "...Tonight was fun Eddie, it... was nice.. being together. I... like being with you and.." He trailed off and Eddie let out a soft little chuckle. 

"Doing normal things, outside of work?" He asked softly.

Steve smiled, a soft - almost shy little smile. "Uh-huh, yeah... exactly that." He said softly. 

Eddie smiled, his eyes all twinkly with amusement and then he said huskily - "I love it when you smile, when you get all happy  - it makes me happy. I want to always make you feel this way." He gently pulled Steve in close, sliding his fingers into his hair and he whispered against his mouth, "I love making you feel good."

Steve said softly, "You do, I do - I'm sorry I got a little weird on you.."

"You don't have to apologize, there isn't anything to apologize for, okay?" Eddie said softly, he gently pulled Steve with him - up the steps and onto the porch. It was lightly drizzling - the rain was soft and light and Eddie murmured, "Do you wanna dance with me?" 

Steve whispered, "... Dance with you?"

Eddie smiled and murmured, "Yes, dance with me... in the rain."

Steve blushed and then he murmured, "There's no music.." Eddie pressed his finger to Steve's lips and then he said softly, "One moment please."

Steve let out a soft laugh, and then he rest against the railing, watching as Eddie slipped into the house - then Eddie was back - and he took Steve's hand and pulled him back out into the rain. He curled his fingers against Steve's waist and pulled him in close.

The music started to play, and Steve let his eyes close - tears welled up behind his eyelids, it was one of his favorite songs. John Denver's song Eclipse, Eddie swayed them to the music - both of them were getting wet, but neither of them cared. 

Steve sang softly, to the music - to Eddie, "There's a heavy smog between me and the mountains, it's enough to make a grown man sit and cry. It's enough to make you wonder, it's enough to make the world roll up and die." 

Eddie let out a soft breath, and then he sang back to Steve - "I think it's kind of interesting the way things get to be, the way the people work with their machines. Serenity's a long time coming to me, in fact, I don't believe that I know what it means. In the east a shaded moon is hanging lazily, I do believe I saw the old man smile. I do believe I did, I do believe he's been laughing all the while."

Steve stared up at Eddie, and Eddie whispered - "It's one of my favorites.."  He gently cradled Steve's face and Steve said softly, "Mine too.."

"You make me feel like I've found the sunshine, the light... the heat on my skin." Eddie said huskily, "...I love you Stevie.."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he just buried his face against Eddie's chest - sliding his fingers into Eddie's hair as they danced to the music - and Eddie said softly, "You make me feel peaceful.. complete."

Steve whispered against Eddie's throat, "I feel that way with you too, I... feel so much better when I'm with you Eddie.." 

Eddie gently dipped Steve and then spun him - the two of them were soaked through - and when Eddie pulled him back in, Steve smiled - his eyes were full of raw emotion, but he was happy - and Eddie said softly, "My beautiful sweet Baby.."

Steve let out a soft exhale and he whispered, "This is ...I like this too, dancing in the rain.." He had raindrops in his eyelashes - the song that was playing now was Lynyrd Skynard's Simple Man. Eddie was humming along with the song - and he winked, mouthing along - Steve laughed softly, and Eddie swayed them lazily again and he kissed against Steve's throat. 

"I could lick the rain from your skin.." Steve said softly, stroking his tongue and Eddie shivered and said huskily - "Hmm you'll make me get naked right here on the lawn."

"You can... nobody is going to see.." Steve said huskily, and Eddie let out a soft little chuckle - "...Are you trying to get me naked?"

Steve said softly, "Maybe... is it working?"

"It could be working.." Eddie said huskily, they kissed - slowly, tongues dancing and Steve whispered - "Eddie?"

"Yes my sweet boy?" Eddie murmured, his fingers curled against Steve's lower back.

"I love you." Steve said softly, he pressed a soft kiss to Eddie's jaw and then he held his arms up - shimmying his hips and singing along to the music, "You know I need your love, you got that hold over me - as long as I got your love, I'll never leave..." 

Eddie laughed softly, "Oh its been yooou man.." He changed the lyric from woman to man. "You've been as constant as the northern star, its been you - oooh man right down the line. I just wanna say this is my way of saying everything I could never say before."

Steve sang back, "Every day I'm loving you so much more, cos you believe in me through my darkest night... you brought me into the light - threw away all the crazy dreams, it was you oooh my man.. right down the line.." They danced, moving together and Steve let out a soft laugh as Eddie dipped him and the sang softly, "This is my way of telling you, that I love yooou.." He added that in and Steve bit his lip softly. 

Eddie shimmied his hips - they both were laughing, and Steve fake swooned, Eddie caught him and then kissed him sweetly. They stood close together again and Steve shivered.

"Are you getting cold Baby?" Eddie asked him softly, "Want to go inside?"

Steve licked the rain from Eddie's cheek and then he murmured, "I want a cigarette." Eddie chuckled and then he interlaced their fingers - pulling Steve up onto the porch, Eddie sat on the swing and pulled Steve into his lap, he lit a cigarette - taking a drag and then he handed it to Steve. 

He took a drag, exhaling slowly and then he tilted his head up - "Hmm.. you taste sweet, like whiskey and chocolate." Steve's voice was husky.

Eddie said softly, "I ate a candy bar while you were asleep." 

Steve licked into Eddie's mouth, and pulled him in closer - their kiss becoming deeper - and Steve whispered breathily, "Love your taste..." 

Eddie stared at him quietly, and he murmured - "...You make me crazy when you say things like that.. fuck.."

Steve looked at him, and he whispered - "...Do I?"

They shared another drag on the cigarette, and Eddie said huskily - "...Yeah you do.." He breathed out heavier and Steve flicked the cigarette into the tin on the table. He whispered, "Are you hard?"

Eddie murmured, "Yes.." He slid his fingers into Steve's hair and he said huskily, "...When you look at me like that.."

Steve whispered, "Like...what?" He was looking at Eddie from under his lashes, he licked his lips and Eddie growled - "Like that... so fucking innocent and yet I know... I know your not thinking innocently at all... you... are being naughty... thinking naughty things.."

"...You know I'm thinking naughty things?" Steve said softly, and he whispered against Eddie's mouth, "How... how do you know.." He curled his hand against Eddie's cock, rubbing his fingers teasingly.

Eddie let out a soft little groan as Steve shifted forward, and then slipped his hand into Eddie's pants - his fingers cool as they wrapped around his cock. 

"You're so hard..." Steve whispered against his mouth, "...You're cock is so pretty Eddie.."

"You think so hmm?" Eddie said huskily. 

"Uh-huh... yeah.. it's so pretty.." Steve said softly, and he leaned in, placing soft kisses against Eddie's stomach, staring up at him as he sucked softly and then breathed out against the wetness he'd made. 

Eddie breathed out heavier, and then tangled his fingers in Steve's hair. "I want... to put you in my mouth.." Steve said softly, and Eddie said huskily - "You.. want to suck my cock Baby?"

"Uh-huh.. yeah... yeah I want too... can I?" Steve said softly, he whispered breathily against Eddie's mouth, "Show me... show me what to do?"

Eddie breathed out hot against Steve's face, and he growled softly, "Yes... yes - okay.." 

Steve whimpered as Eddie sucked on his tongue - they kissed hungrily, dirty - and then Eddie shifted - Steve was undoing his belt, they both got his pants down and Steve let out a soft little noise, as Eddie gripped the base of his cock and then Steve's hair - he rubbed the tip against Steve's mouth, and Steve licked it tentatively. 

Eddie breathed out heavily, and Steve stared up at him - and then sucked the tip softly, "That's it.. Baby.." Eddie said roughly, and he whispered - "Open your mouth.." Steve did and Eddie pulled Steve in - putting his cock into Steve's mouth. He sucked softly, slowly - and Eddie said huskily, "That's good.. fuck.."

Steve moaned around him, and Eddie shifted he ended up standing - Steve kneeling in front of him and he said huskily - "Take it back in.." 

He stared down at Steve, who looked up at him and then sucked him in deeper - he moaned around him, and Eddie said softly - "Such a good boy.. fuck.. you are so pretty, those eyes.." He held Steve in place, and then he eased back, rocking his hips - and Steve hallowed out his cheeks.

"You're good at this.." Eddie said dirtily, and Steve bobbed his head - Eddie guiding him, showing him what to do and then he let go and Steve held onto his hips - his eyes fluttering closed.

Eddie moaned deeper, and then he slid his fingers back into Steve's hair - Steve gagged a little, and Eddie said huskily - "Shit... Baby," Steve's fingers dug into his ass, and Eddie breathed out heavier, "Fuck... fuck your mouth feels so good, I'm... not.. I'm going to cum.. soon.." Eddie rasped out. 

Steve held the base of his cock as he said breathlessly - "Will you come in my mouth? I want it... want to taste it.." He said breathlessly as he licked over the head of his cock, "I want it in my belly...Eddie... want it.. please.."

Eddie growled softly, "Yes... yes I'll cum in your mouth." Their gaze didn't break as Steve swallowed him back into his mouth - and Eddie rocked his hips, fucking Steve's mouth slowly - and Steve moaned around him, as Eddie gripped his hair tighter - and Eddie growled out, "Fucking....fuck!"

He came, and Steve was swallowing, taking everything Eddie had to give him - and Eddie was still half hard - despite the fact that he'd just cum. 

He pulled Steve free, and Steve moaned softly - some of Eddie's cum had spilled down his chin - and he was licking it off his fingers. 

"Such a good boy.." Eddie said huskily, and Steve moaned softly - as Eddie kissed him hungrily, tasting himself in Steve's mouth - then he pulled Steve into his arms and carried him inside. Eddie carried Steve into the bedroom - and laid him down on the bed. 

"I.. like being a good boy.." Steve said - his voice all breathless and soft, and Eddie looked at him - Steve pushed his pants down - and kicked them off, and he stroked his fingers against his stomach - and then he pulled his shirt off, leaving himself naked on the sheets. 

Eddie pulled the rest of his clothes off too and Steve said softly, "I like being your good boy.."

"Yes... mine.. my sweet Baby.. my sweet boy.." Eddie growled as he crawled up the bed and over Steve - he kissed him hungrily, pulling Steve's legs up around his waist - he didn't give him any warning, no foreplay - Eddie just thrust his hips and drove his cock deep into Steve's ass.

Steve was slick and wet inside, and they both moaned into the kiss. 

Eddie didn't take his time, not this time - he kissed Steve hungrily - possessively, and he pounded his hips, driving his cock ruthlessly - relentlessly into Steve's body. Steve cried out and held onto Eddie - until Eddie took hold of his hands, and held them above his head. 

Each thrust, he drove Steve's hips off the bed - it was brutal, deep and almost feral. Steve tilted his head back - exposing his throat and Eddie bit down, rocking his hips a little slower - driving his cock into Steve's prostate - making Steve clench tight around him - as he let out a sob of pleasure. Eddie licked and he whispered, "My sweet Boy.."

Steve was shaking apart, and he arched his body - curling his legs and he sobbed out - "Eddie... Eddie..." He was cumming between them - and Eddie breathed out harshly - he swore against Steve's throat as they both felt his knot - Steve whimpered tearfully, "Yes.. yes yes...." 

Eddie let go of Steve's arms, and Steve held onto him tightly - whimpering softly, he breathed out hot - harsh little breaths and Eddie kissed him - swallowing his whimpers. 

Steve stared up at him, and Eddie stared back - they were both trembling, Eddie could feel the muscles in his body shifting - and he said hoarsely, "I...c-cant...control myself.." He breathed out heavier against Steve's face - and let out a sharp breath as he started to shift into his wolf form. 

Steve let out a soft noise - and then he just tangled his and fingers into Eddie's fur - Eddie's cock only got bigger and thicker - and he licked a mixture of rain and tears from Steve's skin - and sweat. He thrust his hips - and Steve gasped out breathlessly - he whispered, "...Fuck...fuck its so deep.." 

Eddie licked Steve's skin - His voice inside Steve's mind: You like this... you like my wolf cock fucking you - I'm fucking you in my fur and you like it. Steve just stared up at him and then he whispered - "Yes... yes I like it, I love it..."

He imagined what they must look like - and Eddie felt like howling with how much he loved this Beautiful boy. Steve placed a soft kiss against his muzzle - and then he let his eyes close - Eddie let his weight sink into Steve - and the younger man let out a soft, almost sweet keening from his throat, Steve's fingers tangled more into his fur and Steve buried his face in his neck. Holding onto him tighter. 

Eddie could smell his scent, heady and sweet - the content, the love - all the emotions mixed into Steve's scent and made it even deeper. He could feel his tight heat gush warm wet heat around his knot and The intense rush of his cum made Steve let out a soft sob into his fur where he hid his face.

Eddie felt himself letting out soft little whimpers - whining softly, as he rutted into Steve - through it - and Steve breathed out heavier, Eddie shifted from fur - to shadow - to flesh and Steve gasped out softly, holding on to him. 

"I... I didn't hurt you... did I?" Eddie asked, and Steve whispered - "No... No...you didn't.." He was trying to hide his face still and Eddie gently gripped his chin - Steve looked at him, and Eddie said huskily, "...Am I hurting you..."

Steve shook his head no - cheeks all pink and Eddie said huskily, "....I...didn't mean for that to happen."

"I... liked it.." Steve whispered.

Eddie stared down at Steve quietly - and Steve whispered, "I... like it when you knot me.... I love it.. and.. I don't.." His blush became more intense and he whimpered softly - trying to hide his face and Eddie said huskily, "...You.. like me in my fur, being.. inside you, .. while you're in your skin. You.. are a dirty boy.." 

"I.. am is it bad?" Steve whispered, and Eddie growled softly, "No... I just.. no Baby... I think we're a couple of perverts.." He sucked softly on Steve's bottom lip and Steve whispered - "I... definitely think so.."

Steve shivered and Eddie whispered - "You make me lose control Stevie.."

They laid there quietly in the dark, and Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth - "...I've.. always been fucked up Eddie - wanted.. you wanted you to break me - make.. me yours.. I like it - I like feeling like you're going to break me into pieces, I want it... I want you to get so deep inside I don't know where we are separate." 

Eddie kissed Steve deeply, they moaned into the kiss - chasing each other - and Steve whispered breathily - "I ...love you so much Eddie."

"I love you too Stevie.." Eddie said huskily. Steve slid his fingers into his hair and he whispered - "Sleep inside me..."

Eddie murmured, "Yes? You want me to stay.." Steve whispered, "Yes... I want you to stay and never leave.."

Eddie curled his arms around Steve and rolled them - holding him in the dark, the rain was falling heavier - much heavier, and Steve breathed out against his throat - now laying on top. Steve slotted his fingers into the space between Eddie's ribs and he kissed Eddie's collarbone.

Lightning flashed in the room and Steve licked softly against his throat - before biting down and Eddie's eye close as he tilted his head back, baring his neck for Steve. 

Steve bit deeper - and then lapped the blood from his bite. Eddie's wolf felt like howling again.

Steve whispered - "My wolf sings for you.." 

Eddie lazily stroked his fingers and he felt Steve let out a soft breath, his body relaxing  into his. He felt his knot slowly easing - but Steve whimpered softly, clenching around him - and he whispered sleepily, "Stay here Eddie... my Shadow.."

Eddie whispered, "I will Darling." He kissed Steve's shoulder, then his throat - and he bit softly - sinking his fangs in. Steve shivered, letting out a sweet little whimper - and Eddie licked - claiming, Steve's fingers curled against his side and Eddie whispered - "My sweet Baby.." 

As they fell asleep, the record player was playing the crooning dulcet tones of Elvis, "I can't help falling in love, with you."  Eddie whispered against Steve's ear, "I've been in love with you since I first saw you... my little Vaikštynė."

Chapter Text

They were in the last dying days of summer, fall coming on fast. A cold night - the first of the season. A change from the usual too hot - too sticky heat. Steve felt like his mind was numb, the trees he could see through the kitchen window were like tall sticks, shivering in the air - afraid of the wind. Or only trying to stand against it. Every tree was alone out there.

The animals were alone - hiding out in their fur.

Anything that got hit on the road tonight - they would die alone. 

Before morning, Steve thought - their blood would probably freeze in the cracks in the asphalt. Steve was staring blankly out of the window - the house was breathing, shifting and moving in the stillness. Eddie had gone home, left him alone with his thoughts, with the silence. It was almost unbearable.

He moved lazily, like he was walking through sludge - sitting at his razor warn desk - the surface of it covered in wax.

He picked up his fountain pen, and dipped its delicate tip into the bottle of ink.

Steve wrote a few spidery lines, on the message side of the postcard - and he stretched his legs out, reaching with his toes for the half empty bottle of liquor that he had hidden under the desk. The dark amber liquid was a darker color than he was used too, he took a swig - the sharp taste of smoke behind the familiar musky burn that stung his throat as he swallowed down the whiskey. 

Steve licked his lips to wet them with the liquor-essence and his spit. 

Then he picked up the postcard and brought it to his lips. He gave it a whiskey tongue-kiss. Then he picked up the pen again, and signed his name. Birdy Harrington. He blinked slowly, frowning - Why had he signed his name that way? He hadn't - ever used it. He frowned, then took another swig of the Johnny Walker, and realized that he could already feel the familiar, half-queasy anticipation of drunkenness. 

In his stomach, and the floating dizziness in his head. I'm losing my mind, my grip on reality.

Steve snorted at himself. Evidently, he'd drunk more than he'd realized - he got up, swaying a little - and Steve went to the wardrobe. He dug through it - finding the large wooden box that he kept in the back of it. His hands were shaking slightly as he sat down on the floor with it. Steve could feel the shift in his thoughts, the weight of the darkness in the room.

He turned the small brass key and opened the box. 

He wasn't certain of its contents anymore.

There was a half smoked packet of Camels, he fished those out - placed one between his lips and lit it - taking a drag he peered through the misty blue vapor and with trembling fingers he pulled out a dried piece of Night Jasmine. It was a faded cream color now, instead of the crisp snow white - the petals were preserved though, it had the faint scent of acidic musk. 

There was a crows skull, the smooth ivory beak still sharp - Steve let out a soft breath, and then picked up a tiny clay skeleton.

It was from a Day of the Dead celebration, its eyes glittered with red sequins - is mouth painted with teeth - its ribs dusted with glitter. There was a thin worn book of poetry, written by Dylan Thomas. A bright shiny blue jewel, that reminded Steve of the Jewel that Skeletal Sammy had given him in Birdland.

There was a tiny bone - a bone that Steve wasn't entirely sure what it was, he couldn't remember where it came from either. 

He stared at the wardrobe. You have Garrett's bones in a box in the wardrobe. He didn't want to look at those yet.

There was a half used, worn down stick of black eyeliner - a couple of worn notebooks with Steve's mindless scrawl inside. Some of it he couldn't even read. "Jesus.." He drawled with a raspy voice, "Wounded poet?" He scoffed - the next thing he picked up was a  mixed tape, on which the words were scrawled - Valhalla I am Coming. It didn't look like his spidery writing. Steve pulled himself to his feet and put it into the stereo - he hit play and then sat back down. 

The tinny brass of Led Zepplin's Kashmir came out of the speakers and Steve found a joint in the box - he put it behind his ear and took another drag on his cigarette, he found a photo - and Steve stared at it. He definitely didn't remember the photograph. 

It was of Him, Mikey and Ghost. They were tangled around each other - but Ghost had planted a kiss on Steve's cheek and Steve was laughing - he looked happy, eyes bright - his whole face was lit up. It was like looking at someone that he didn't recognize. The photo was a little creased and beat up, he flipped it over, and Ghost's writing was on the back. 

I thought I'd send you a reminder of when you were happy and free... I think you need to remember not to carry the weight of the shadows all the time, I love you xox Ghost

Steve breathed out softly and he stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray and then he got up and went to his bag - he fished out the envelope that Jonathan had given him a few days previously. His hands were shaking again and Steve laid back on the floor - he lit the joint and took a toke off it, exhaling lazily and then he opened the envelope and let the photographs spill out onto the floor. 

Steve breathed out sharply, and found the one that he'd been thinking of.

It was one that Jonathan had taken of him, without telling Steve - and it reminded him so much of the one of him with Mikey and Ghost - only it was him and Jonathan instead. The other photographs were just landscapes and buildings - ones that Steve had taken, and Jonathan had kept. Steve didn't care about those - but... this one.

This one photograph, he did care about. He didn't want Jonathan to have it, he'd never wanted him to take it in the first place.

Steve was laying in the grass with Jonathan - he had grass in his hair and he was laughing - that same bright eyed - happy thing where his face was lit up. Jonathan was kissing his cheek, he'd just snapped the photo before Steve had even had a chance to do anything about it. It felt too much, to personal - like his space had been invaded, and it had always upset him - pissed him off that Jonathan had taken it, and kept it. 

He wanted to burn it, to get rid of it. Tears welled up in his eyes and he was tempted to tear it up. Steve shoved it back in the box with the other photo and then the other stuff. He slammed the lid down and locked it - Steve relit the joint and took another toke - letting the rich piney smoke fill his lungs. He exhaled slowly, and stared up at the ceiling.

Jonathan had tried to kiss him that day, Steve had been happy - right up till he'd taken the damn picture. 

After he'd pissed Steve off - he'd tried to kiss him.

It'd been the end of their closeness. 

It was after that, he'd found out Nancy got her claws in him too. Steve hadn't wanted Jonathan to kiss him - it just made it weird. It hadn't felt okay, it felt wrong.

Steve sighed heavily, feeling like his mouth was too dry - the pot did that, he picked up the bottle of whiskey and took another swig - it just sat in his stomach, and made him feel nauseas.

He put the blunt in the ashtray and hauled himself up - he stopped the music and Steve felt restless, like he didn't know what to do with himself. He went into the bathroom and stripped off - he turned the shower on and climbed in. He stroked his fingers over the silvery pale scars on his hips - his fingers itched to cut, to bleed - he stood under the spray instead - the water cold, he wanted the chill of it to wake him up maybe. 

Steve sank down and just sat in the bottom of the tub - he was curling his fingers through his hair - he still didn't know why he came back from Birdland with it long. He hadn't been okay since that happened - trapped between being awake and feeling like he was sleeping walking - in a fog.

He raked his fingers through the wet strands - starting to shiver he let his eyes close and breathed out harshly. 

Steve couldn't remember why Eddie had left, but he could feel the panic.

He's not coming back. He lied - he's not coming back he left you. 

Steve felt his stomach churn - and then he shifted to his hands and knees - vomiting, it was mostly just remnants of whiskey - bile, washing down the drain. He hit at his head - and started to cry, broken - harsh sobs, "Stupid... fucking stupid! Stupid sonofabitch!" He was screaming at himself - at who knew what - like someone was going to answer him. Steve clawed at his arms, scratching - "So disgusting, you're disgusting.. fucking piece of shit... you're a piece of shit!"

"You never shoulda let him.. never. You knew better, you're a goddamn piece of shit... a dirty fucking s-sinner, you belong in Hell - that's where you belong.. It's not real.. it's not real... none of it is real He left you, he left! You knew he would! Fucking shoot yourself in the head you mongrel!" He was breathing harsher - and then just screamed pained, animalistic screams - till he had nothing left to scream about, no sound came out - and Steve just sat there staring into space. 

His eyes haunted - he let out staticy harsh breaths. He'd scratched deep scratches into his arms. He wished his Daddy has smashed his skull in with the Hammer. But Daddy didn't love me.

Tears streamed down Steve's face - and he just let out those staticy breaths. Nobody could love you, your Nothing.

Chapter Text

By the next morning, Steve was hungry - and void. He hadn't slept - he'd climbed out of the bathtub at some point, he didn't remember when and laid in his bed staring into space. Eventually he had crawled back out again and now he sat out on the porch - the sunlight was hurting his eyes, too bright - too much. 

He could taste the taste of bitter bile in his mouth and the sweet sour ash of whiskey. He closed his eyes tightly, and opened them just a fraction. The space around him was too bright, to green - glittering like jewels in the sun. It hurt his eyes too much to look at it. 

Steve closed his eyes again, the sunlight was drying up the remnants of last nights rain. The air felt too hot again. He lit a cigarette and sucked back the smoke like it was orange juice. The dogs were all laying around him at his feet. He was half sprawled - his arm over his head, his fingers fidgeting restless - Steve got up and went back inside, he bit down on his fingers and then he picked up the phone and punched in some numbers.

It rang for a while - what felt like too long, and Steve was going to hang up - but then the raspy voice on the other end said gruffly, "Hello?"

"Kaj, s'me..." His own voice was gravel and the voice on the other end said, "Hej how are you Wolfie? Been a while, you itching?"

Steve exhaled heavily, and then he muttered - "Yeah... can .."

"Don't sweat it, you want me to come over? I can be there in half an hour - might take me a little bit longer, but I can do that no problem... you okay with that?" Kaj's raspy voice sounded like he'd been smoking too many cigarettes, and Steve mumbled softly, "Yeah.. yeah that's good.. half an hour?"

"Yeah, half an hour - I'll bring you the good shit, you know I'll take care of you." Kaj's voice was slightly muffled, and then he added - "I was just thinking about you yesterday."

Steve curled the telephone cord around his fingers and he rasped out, "...You were huh.."

"Ja, Wolfie - I'll see you soon yes?" Kaj was crunching on something, and Steve said, "Yeah - I'll see you soon Spooky."

He hung up the phone and went to the fridge, grabbing out a beer he screw the cap off and sat on the day bed in the corner - sprawling on it, he drank the beer in a few quick gulps. He ran the cold glass over his head, and just laid back against it. 

Steve must have drifted to sleep - because he was suddenly jolted away, by the roaring of a heavy motorcycle engine. He lifted his head and then got up. Steve made his way out to the porch, watching as Kaj climbed off his bike. 

He was built like a tank, over six-foot tall - he had long hair that ran down his back but it was done in a braid the under sides shaved close to his head and he had tattoos around his scalp. His hair was blond like golden silk - but it was his eyes that were the brightest, most vibrant shade of blue Steve had ever seen in his entire life. They were so blue - they almost seemed impossible. Kaj grabbed his bag off the side of his bike, and a bucket of fried chicken.

The dogs were wagging their tails and getting all excited at the sight of him - Kaj let out a soft rumbling laugh, "Hej hundebørn.." (Hello Dog Children) He looked at Steve, those vibrant eyes twinkling mischievously. "Hej you look terrible Lillebror." (Little Brother) Steve muttered, "You look the same as always." He gave the older man a soft smile though, and Kaj said - "I come bringing sustenance I thought you might be hungry - you look too skinny."

Steve barked out a laugh, "I'm the same as I always am.." They went inside - the dogs came in too - and Kaj shook his head, "You are skinnier - I see you have grown your hair out again, I like this better for you." He set his bag on the table - and the bucket of chicken. He knew where everything was, and grabbed a couple of plates. "Sit down yeah? We'll eat first, you can tell me what you have been up to." 

He sat down and Kaj put the plates on the table - then he opened the fridge and handed Steve a beer, while he got a can of Dr. Pepper for himself. Kaj eyed him, as he took out more food from his bag, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes with gravy and coleslaw. "Did you buy the whole damn restaurant?" Steve said with a smirk.

"Please, you are starving - I know this, so... I come prepared." Kaj said, before he snickered and then dished the food out, he sat down - moving his bag to the floor.  

Steve ravenously devoured a piece of chicken - licking the grease off his fingers and Kaj was doing the same thing. "So I saw Kennedy the other day - he got out of the big house, he's not doing to good." Kaj shook his head, "He was asking about you too."

Steve was eating a corn cob, and he muttered - "He's a goddamn shit stain - lucky I didn't shoot his fucking cracker head ass.." 

They both were laughing and Kaj said with a smirk, "He was scared, I told him you were living out here - he's closer to Corinth, I told him you're a cop now.." 

Steve raised an eyebrow, "Oh I bet he just loved hearing that.." He snorted softly, and Kaj grinned - "I told you he got all antsy, scared - mind you... you're a dark mother fucker so ..he should be scared, everyone knows you don't fuck with Steve Black."

Kaj Valentin, the two of them had been connected since they'd been in a foster home together back in Georgia. Kaj was originally from Denmark, his parents had been killed in a brutal murder - and Kaj wound up in the system. The two of them had a lot in common, and they'd been close ever since. Kaj was one of the few people that Steve could count on his hand - that he knew he could trust.

Kaj was a psychic - he was a year older than Steve was. And he had saved Steve from some pretty fucked up shit when they were in the Boys Home in North Carolina. The two of them had run away and lived in a run down church, a long with a bunch of other runaway kids. Kaj considered Steve to be his little brother, and Steve was totally okay with that. 

They'd been through Hell together and lived to tell the tale. 

"I'm wondering why I haven't seen you for so long." Kaj said quietly, he held his hand out - and Steve held it, without any hesitation. "Er du faret vild?" (Are you lost?) Kaj asked him - taking a swig of his soda. Steve drawled softly, "Mhmm.." Then he breathed out heavier, "Det er mørkt i mit hoved, bror." (It is dark in my head brother)

Kaj nodded - his eyes were looking off to the side of Steve, it was another thing they shared in common - eye contact was difficult for Kaj too. "You have been travelling recently." He wasn't asking a question, and Steve squeezed his hand - "Jeg er ikke sikker på, at jeg kom tilbage." (I am not sure I came back)

"You think part of you is still there." Kaj said softly, "I think you're just - waking up - your able to go to new places now Bror." (Brother) 

Steve took a swig of his beer, "I'm not entirely sure I want to Kaj." He muttered softly, "...I.. struggle enough as it is without travelling to places that ..." He shook his head and Kaj said - "It's always been something you can do, you just didn't know you could. You draw people to you that are like you... you've always done that too. You didn't know this already Wolfie?" Kaj let out a soft chuckle, and Steve laughed, "...I.. guess when I think about it, I... have yeah."

They were still holding hands as they kept eating, and Steve said quietly - "I just.. I don't know .. been having weird things happening since then. It's like being in a fog I can't keep track of shit properly I don't even know what day it is... I can't keep track of time Kaj."

"Time... time isn't real anyway - you know? It all exists all at once - we're just moving through it at different points. That's all.." His eyes shifted, and they were staring at each other. Steve said softly, "I.. yeah.. it just.. I don't know. I.. had a strange dream about two friends of mine, and I can't stop thinking about them."

"Ghost and Mikey." Kaj said, and Steve took another swig of his beer - "How do you know that.." He asked - and Kaj tapped the side of his head - then he tapped the side of Steve's - "It's all connected, we are connected - you can tap in, Ghost he has one foot in - one foot out, the same as you and I... just listen for his voice Bror and you'll hear him speaking to you. You've not seen them for a long time. But you can, I think maybe you need too - nothing happens by accident."

Steve breathed out slowly and he nodded.

"Same as I was thinking about you yesterday, and today you call me. And here we are." Kaj chuckled and he held his soda up - Steve clinked his beer against his can and Kaj said, "Skål." (Cheers)

"Skål." Steve said back. Kaj gently squeezed Steve's hand - "You're still too skinny Wolfie - I did good to bring you food. Jesus - when you last eat?"

"I don't know - can't remember.." He laughed and Kaj shook his head, "Fucking wind blows it'll snap your skinny ass in half."

Kaj laughed, and Steve snorted softly - "Just because you're a big fucking giant bastard." 

They both laughed, and Kaj said with a smirk - "I can't help my size, I'm a Dane - we're born big." 

"Giant's blood mhmm.." Steve drawled lazily and Kaj muttered, "Goddamn I hope not - I have wolf blood but not Giant's blood." 

Steve just stared at him and then he said, "Do you? Have.. wolf blood."

They had eye contact again, and Kaj murmured softly - "Ulveblod.. like you." (wolf blood) Steve let out a soft exhale, and he murmured - "That's why your... eyes.."

Kaj gave Steve a soft little smirk, and he murmured - "My eyes don't change back... they just stay this way."

Steve murmured, "That... makes so much more sense to me Kaj.... its why they love you so much - my dogs." 

"Your pack you mean..." Kaj said with a soft rumbling laugh - the dogs were laying at their feet and Steve lazily scratched Thatch's belly with his bare foot. 

"Do you.. are you a shadow too?" Steve asked softly.

"In Denmark, we are called Skyggeulv it means Shadow wolf. Every time you would.. get lost Bror... I would do my best to protect you Wolfie. You have always been a bit... how do you say in English?"

"Feral." Steve said - baring his teeth as he bit the air.

Kaj laughed, "Yes, feral.. in my fur I'm white like a ghost."  He said, his blue eyes sparkling and full of mischief.

Steve's eyes flashed vibrant gold, and Kaj murmured, "You...are black as night in your fur - a fast little speedy Wolf, or you were - you might be bigger now?" He finished his soda, crushing the can - he took Steve's empty beer bottle and he dumped them in the trash, sitting back down.

"I don't remember - I.. don't remember so much shit Kaj, my mind - its broken." He muttered curling his fingers into his hair and breathing out slowly. 

Kaj stood up, and he pulled Steve up with him, "You haven't been sleep properly have you Bror." It wasn't a question and Steve shrugged - going quiet. Kaj picked up his bag, "Come... come we'll fix you up... so you can sleep and dream some sweet dreams yes?"

Steve muttered softly, "Yeah... fuck I want that real bad.." He drawled softly - and Kaj murmured, "I'll take care of you Lillebror." (Little Brother)

Kaj kicked his boots off in the kitchen, and they made their way down the hall to Steve's bedroom.

Steve pulled off his shirt, and Kaj frowned - looking at him, "Du har gjort dig selv ondt." (You hurt yourself) Kaj motioned to the scratches up Steve's arms, and Steve stared down at them. 

Kaj grabbed a small black case out of his bag - and Steve went into the bathroom getting a glass of water - he came back and Kaj was sprawled on his bed, holding the case and a belt. "You should shift enough to heal yourself.." He said quietly. 

Steve stared at him, and he muttered - "How do I do that?"

Kaj patted the bed beside him and Steve sat down - Kaj looked at him and then he said quietly - "Just as easy as breathing.." His eyes burned an even more intense blue for a few moments, his skin rippling a little and his claws appeared - he dragged one against his wrist, cutting into it - and Steve breathed out sharply,  then he leaned in a little and whispered - "Then you do it again.." He did, and the cut healed instantly. 

Steve whispered, "I... can't do that Kaj."

"Yes you can..." Kaj took hold of Steve's arm and he growled, a soft rumbling noise - and Steve's eyes turned gold again, he found himself growling back - his skin rippling and then Steve's cuts healed. "There you  go... see.. just needed a little coaxing for your wolf to come out.." He chuckled and Steve blushed. "...But how do I do that without.."

"Without me growling at you?" Kaj asked.

"Mhmm... yeah.." Steve's eyes were still gold - and Kaj leaned in closer and murmured - "Just.. don't hide yourself away Wolfie."  He nuzzled his face into Steve's hair and whispered, "You'll figure it out, and if you don't I'm just a phone call away yes?" 

Steve nodded, "Okay then.." His voice soft, and he muttered softly - "You.. I've missed you. I forget how fucking calm you make me." He rest his head against Kaj's shoulder and Kaj said softly, "That always makes me happy, but also amused - I'm not calm in the least, but with you I always have been. I guess you must make me the same way. Remember when we first met?"

Steve laughed and he looked at Kaj, "Yes - because we had a fight."

Kaj smirked, "For a little guy you hit like a demon... I still haven't gotten over the fact that you knocked me on my ass." 

They were both laughing, and Kaj said softly, "You get the belt nice and tight - I'll get the gear ready hmm?" 

"Yeah.. yeah that sounds real good.." Steve said softly, his voice all lazy and soft and he grabbed the belt off the bed - tightening it around his arm - while Kaj undid the case - he said, "I already got it ready to go - so.. it isn't like our days in the church.. burning it up over stolen candles... remember that?"

"Mhmm.. fuck it used to be so dirty in that shit hole - I was always worried rats were gonna chew our faces off.." Steve let out a soft exhale as Kaj took his arm and tapped the inside of his elbow - the syringe between his teeth. He found Steve's vein and then he slid the needle in - "I would have killed the rats before they chewed your pretty face off Wolfie." 

Steve licked his lips, and he let out a soft noise as his eyes fluttered closed - "Shit...yeah.. thas good.. Kaj.." Kaj cradled Steve's head, and then he slid the needle out - "Yeah, I told you its real good shit." Steve watched as Kaj did the same thing to himself, he tightened the belt - and Steve was already starting to drift - but Kaj slid the needle out and Steve helped him get the belt off his arm, Kaj got the syringe back into the case and dropped it and the belt into his bag.

The two of them were curled into each other, and Steve slurred softly - "Shit... Kaj m'gonna.." The wave of bliss hit him hard - fast crashing into him like an over powering wave and Kaj said back, "Yeah Baby boy, come lay here.. s'good... told you.." They laid down both of them nodding together, Steve - he was gone as oblivion took him away. 

***

Eddie was frustrated, no - he was pissed off. He hadn't meant to be away from Steve for so long - and he was feeling it, an overwhelming sense of anxiety. He hadn't been able to get hold of Steve on the telephone - the younger man hadn't been answering his calls. He had gone home to get some things and Jim Hopper had shown up at his door - and somehow Eddie had got roped into going into Quantico - Nancy had already been reported missing, and so they were all in an uproar - a panic and Eddie had to play the part of being concerned and pretending like he gave a damn. 

It just became a chaotic mess and he hadn't been able to get himself out of it. And it wasn't just Eddie that hadn't been able to get hold of Steve - nobody could. Not him - not Jim, not Buckley - he wasn't just answering his phone. Steve wasn't answering his radio - walkie thing either. 

Eddie finally managed to get the hell out of there, and he drove straight to the younger man's - when he arrived - he saw the motorcycle parked next to Steve's truck. He climbed out of his car - raking his fingers through his hair, it was raining the air was a little cold - and Eddie let out a soft exhale, there was no sign of any activity - the house appeared to be dark. Eddie made his way up onto the porch and he knocked on the screen door - the actual door was open, like Steve often left it to let cooler air into the house. 

The dogs were inside, and Eddie opened the screen door - the dogs were wagging their tails, happy to see him - but then they scattered off into the twilight - and Eddie stepped inside. "Stevie?" He called softly, but there was no answer. There were no lights on, and Eddie stepped into the kitchen - there were two plates of mostly eaten food. So Steve was here, and apparently not alone. Eddie felt a tightness in his stomach, a tightness he didn't like. He saw a pair of boots he didn't recognize and a leather jacket was draped over the back of a chair.

Eddie's jaw was tense, his entire body was. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what he was going to find out. Not really. But Eddie headed down the hall way - he couldn't hear any noise - Steve's bedroom door was shut, Eddie didn't know why but he checked the other bedroom first - and it was empty. He stood outside of Steve's bedroom, Eddie knew - he knew that Steve was in there with someone - he just didn't know if he wanted to see it.

At the same time, he knew he needed to.

Eddie opened the door, and he pushed it open - the curtains were open, the window was too - and the breeze was blowing the curtain - Eddie was used to the room always being dark, it still was - but not that dark that he couldn't see properly. He wasn't seeing what he'd been expecting to see, but he was still seeing something that he didn't like. Like he had expected, Steve wasn't alone - he was laying curled up with someone. 

That someone was big - probably not much older than Steve - but the point was, they were curled around each other - intimately, or it appeared that way to Eddie. Steve's friend was taking up most of the bed he was that big. His Henley had ridden up - and Steve's hand was tangled in it - their legs were intertwined - Steve was laying across the other man - and the other man had one of his hands curled against Steve's bare skin - the other one was over his face - obscuring it from view. 

Steve's hair was covering his face - they were both wearing their pants - it was only Steve that had no shirt on - his friend was fully clothed. He even had his socks on. Eddie just stared at them - he breathed out sharply, even though they appeared to be asleep - Eddie was still upset by what he was looking at. Who the hell was this thing touching Steven? And why was he touching him? Why was Steve letting him? Who was he that Steve would even let him?

Eddie felt betrayed. He felt paralyzed like he couldn't move - it was a bizarre feeling. Like he couldn't move - and he couldn't tear his eyes away even though he wanted too. He didn't know what to do. Eddie breathed out in a rush of breath, tears stung his eyes and Eddie backed up - crashing into the doorway, he swore loudly, and then panicked - because Steve's friend was suddenly stirring - and a startling pair of eyes met his. 

"Shit, fucking Christ.." Eddie muttered - and he quickly made his way down the hallway - the other man said - "Hej?" Eddie didn't want to speak to him - he knew the other man was following him though, and he said, "Sorry I'm leaving." His voice tight and clipped. The younger man said, "I'm - I am Steve's friend, he should wake up soon?" Eddie turned his head - and he said sharply, "It's fine I'll come back some other time.. clearly he doesn't need me here."

The younger man was avoiding eye contact - and Eddie found that strangely comforting in a weird way - it reminded him of Steve. "I... look I'm sorry? I don't know who you are?" The younger man had an accent, he was clearly feeling awkward and Eddie said a little calmer - "I'm.. Steve's friend, I'm Eddie."

"Hej, I mean.. Hello Eddie, my name is Kaj - or Spooky." The younger man said quietly - he held his hand out - still not having eye contact, but it seemed he wasn't as uncomfortable with contact. Eddie shook his hand, the younger man's grip was firm and genuine. "He should be awake soon.." Kaj said again, "You can wait for him? I can make you some coffee?" He scratched the side of his head, which Eddie realized was tattooed.

"...I uh.. yes that would be fine, thank you." Eddie nodded and then Kaj said - "Okay good.. come." Eddie was actually amused by that - Kaj reminded him of himself in a strange way - he realized it was the way he spoke. "You're.. not from here, America I mean.." Eddie said as he followed the younger man into the kitchen.

"Ja... I'm Danish." Kaj told him as he started making the coffee - he glanced at Eddie, "Are you hungry Eddie? There is still food.." Eddie shook his head, "No thank you, I'm fine."

He sat down, and the younger man said - "Okay.." Eddie watched as he scratched at his arm - He sat on the chair and then picked up a piece of Chicken eating it and not looking at Eddie - Eddie fished out his smokes and offered one to Kaj - he took two, putting one behind his ear, and one between his lips - he leaned in as Eddie lit it and then Eddie lit his own. 

"Wolfie, sorry - Steve.. he's my Lillebror, my little brother - we.. were in the same boys home, some foster home together." Kaj said quietly - studying his smoke, and Eddie said, "Ah.. I see." The younger man nodded, ".. We have a lot of history. Sometimes he has bad things in his head. He calls me, I come."

Kaj's vivid eyes met Eddie's - and Eddie was struck by how intense they were - like they were lit up. He nodded and said quietly, "I... He's had a rough few days, I wasn't able to be here, I was worried about him - so.. I'm glad you were able to be here." Eddie realized he actually was. It didn't seem like they'd been doing anything untoward.

Eddie felt himself relax and Kaj nodded, "I'm sure you know then, that he can get lost in his head." 

"Yes, I do.." Eddie took a drag on his smoke - and he watched as Kaj's eyes lost focus briefly - he let his eyes close and then he stood up slowly swaying, but he went and made them coffee - "How do you have it Eddie?" 

"A little milk and a little Sugar please and thank you." Eddie said and Kaj chuckled - "So not like Satan's brew then.." Eddie let out a soft laugh, "No I can't drink it the way Stevie does.." Kaj looked over his shoulder at Eddie, a soft smile on his face - "... You're normal, he's peculiar - he likes with Chicory in, strange wolf.." He shook his head, and Eddie said - "You keep ...calling him Wolfie - and wolf.." 

"Just a nick name.." Kaj said as he looked at him, and Eddie realized it wasn't - but he stayed quiet. 

Kaj set the coffee down in front of Eddie and then he sat down, he took a sip of his own and they both just sat there silently - the younger man kept drifting - like he was falling asleep almost and Eddie watched him, he'd jolt his head back up and then his eyes would refocus. 

Eddie said suddenly, "You and Steven... did you get high together?" His voice was calm, soft - and the younger man was looking at the wall rather than at Eddie. 

"Yes we... do that together - although we haven't for a while, this... was the first time in a while we used to a lot. I'm.. not sure if we should be talking about that? I don't know if you know that about him - how close you and him are?" Kaj said - and he added, "I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't know you."

Eddie took a sip of his coffee and then he said, "I do know that he .. used too, he told me that - so.." 

The younger man gave Eddie a nod, and Eddie looked up as Steve came into the kitchen - Steve wasn't looking at Eddie, but he said with a raspy growl - "The fuck are you doing here?" He was tense, and not happy to see him, and Eddie felt his stomach get all tight - he had been worried about this kind of reaction. 

"Stevie.." He said softly. 

"NO!" He yelled, and Kaj said softly, "Hvad er forkert?" (What is wrong?) Kaj was tense immediately, and he was on his feet - Steve said shakily, "Jeg vil ikke have ham her!" (I don't want him here!)

Eddie felt a weird twist in his stomach, that Steve could speak Danish - that they could speak together and he had no idea what they were saying. Kaj moved closer to Steve and Steve was wild-eyed and tearful, saying something to Kaj - "Jeg - jeg kan fandeme ikke trække vejret.. Jeg - jeg kan fandeme ikke trække vejret (I don't fucking want him here! He hurt me get him out)

Kaj looked at Eddie, and then he said darkly - "You need to leave. Now."

Eddie shook his head, "No... I'm not leaving, this is not your business."

Steve said with a sob, "Get out! Get the fuck out!" He was clawing at his arms again, and Kaj was standing with Steve behind him - he said to Eddie, "He is my business and you're leaving." He seemed even bigger, standing in front of Steve, and Eddie said calmly - "I'm not leaving. Stevie - I want to explain.. please.. I got caught up at work, don't.. do this."

Kaj growled out, "He doesn't want you here - If I have to kick your ass out the fucking door I will." His eyes were burning blue - and Eddie said ice cold, "Who the hell do you think you are! This is none of your business."

Kaj said - "You need to leave." He looked down - Steve was breathing heavily, his eyes burning gold - and Eddie breathed out sharply, "Stevie.." He said softly.

Kaj curled his arm around Steve - and Steve curled his body into Kaj's - Eddie could feel himself getting tense, his jaw twitching - "Stevie.. please just talk to me, I.. didn't mean to be gone so long.." 

Steve said shakily, "You're a fucking liar... a liar!" He breathed out harshly, and he was shaking as he hid his face against Kaj's side. He looked so small and Eddie had tears in his eyes. 

Kaj was looking down at Steve, and then he looked at Eddie, "You should go, before I make you." His jaw twitching. 

"...You should mind your own business." Eddie said icily.

"Jeg er bange, Alt han gør, er at lyve for mig." Steve said tearfully. (I'm scared, all he does is lie to me)

Kaj's jaw twitched, and he said softly to Steve - "Yeah? He does? Did he hurt you?" Steve nodded yes - tears slid down his face and Kaj stroked Steve's hair "...Don't worry Wolfie, he isn't going to anymore."

Eddie said quietly, trying to keep himself from yelling at Kaj not to touch him. "Stevie... my sweet Baby."

Kaj's gaze shifted back down to Steve at Eddie's words, and then he looked at Eddie - "...Eddie, sit down and drink your coffee."

"No! No ... he... I don't want h-him here, he's not real..." Steve said all wild-eyed and panicked. 

Eddie sat down, and Kaj just picked Steve up and then sat down with him in his lap - "Shh lille ulv." (Hush little wolf) 

Kaj looked at Eddie, and he held his finger to his lips - Eddie stayed quiet and Kaj stroked Steve's hair soothingly. Steve let out soft little hiccups as he cried - but then he just laid there - his eyes went back to their chocolate- honey and he let his eyes close. "Your getting all angry and frustrated about nothing aren't you. Did the voices tell you lies again lille ulv."

Steve said softly, "I was all alone, he left m-me.." Kaj was staring at Eddie - his eyes were blazing - "Eddie's your shadow, isn't he."

Eddie let out a soft breath, and Kaj gave Eddie a soft little smile - "The thing is though, he's sitting right here - and he's got tears in his eyes because I think he loves you very much Wolfie - he hasn't left, see..." 

Steve looked at Eddie, and he whispered - "But he did... he did Kaj." 

"But he's sitting right here - see? If he left why would he be sitting there?" Kay's voice was soothing and soft and he murmured - "I think he is real because I see him too. You just got sad and scared. You don't have to be frightened, you know I always tell you the truth lille ulv.."

Steve breathed out shakily, and Kaj said softly - "Go see for yourself... He's there, he came back - go on.."

Eddie let out a soft exhale as Steve shifted and then sat in his lap. Eddie curled his fingers into Steve's hair and he whispered, "I'm sorry my sweet Baby." Steve just curled in close - and went quiet, Eddie looked down at Steve had his eyes closed.

"...When he feels frightened he usually does this, shuts down... sometimes he'll just.. completely zone out - catatonia." Kaj said quietly, looking at Eddie - "He can black out as well. I should have guessed something like this was happening, when he's really scared he'll call me - he feels like I protect him."

Eddie said softly, "Because maybe you always have Kaj."

Kaj nodded, "I've always done my best too Eddie. I.. am guessing that you and him are.. together, it isn't my business really but - I just... want you to know that this is a lot, this is intense he's not really fully here with us right now. He might not even remember anything... its another reason why I helped him get high, it calms him down - soothes his wolf, he can be dangerous if he gets too deep in it. When I say dangerous - I'm talking he is more animal than anything else, he could hurt you as well.. I've seen him lose himself before - I've helped clean up the mess."

Eddie murmured softly, "I got tied up with work bullshit and I knew.. I knew he'd probably get upset - he was before it happened." Eddie was stroking his fingers lazily through Steve's hair, Steve had fallen asleep against Eddie. "..I.. thought of you as a threat, I apologize.."

"You saw me as threat because he's your mate.. I'm not a threat Eddie, he's my family - I'm sorry I got my hackles raised - you were a threat because I didn't understand and then all of a sudden I did. I didn't recognize your wolf - you hide it well."

"I...I'm only just learning about it all.." Eddie said quietly - "..I wasn't entire sure exactly who and what I am."

Kaj smiled softly - "Well.. I'm a fountain of knowledge, feel free to ask me anything you want Eddie - Steve's my family, so.. that makes you my family too. If you are okay with that."

Eddie gave the younger man a smile, and he nodded - "Yes, I am okay with that, I lost my family a long time ago - Stevie is the only family I have had."

Kaj said softly, "Same with me - I.. am really tired, I... don't wanna be rude - but I think I'm going to go and get some more sleep in the spare room. We can talk more in the morning? He'll be okay Eddie, he's got you... he's going to be just fine, you have each other.." 

Eddie let out a soft little exhale as Kaj placed his hand against Eddie's shoulder - "I'm glad you both found each other again, you finally can be happy together."  Eddie felt a rush of warmth from this boy with strange eyes. 

He said softly, "Goodnight Kaj."

"Goodnight Eddie." He softly kissed Steve's temple and whispered, "Goodnight lille ulve." Eddie watched him go down the hallway and into the spare room.

Eddie held Steve in his arms, cradling him close as he stood up and carried him to the bedroom. He laid him down and shut the window - closing the curtain and then he called the dogs inside - locking up. Eddie turned the heater on for the dogs, they all settled in and then Eddie went back to the bedroom, he shut the door with a soft click and laid down beside Steve.

Eddie let out a soft exhale as Steve curled in close, curling his fingers into his hair like he used to do when he was little. "I love you my sweet Boy." Eddie whispered to him in the dark. He gently stroked Steve's hair out of his face, and he just laid there, not able to sleep - but he refused to let go.

Eddie curled his fingers into Steve's hair and let his eyes close - he could hear the soft rhythm of Steve's heartbeat. It was soothing, he focused on it - and Steve nuzzled in closer, breathing him in. Eddie didn't let him go - he refused too. 

Chapter Text

He opened his eyes slowly, breathing in the heady scent of musk with a slight acidic note. Eddie. Steve's heart rate kicked up in its speed - and he was confused, the last thing he remembered clearly was being in the bottom of the shower - crying. He remembered feeling so broken, scared - he didn't understand why he was in bed, how he got there - why Eddie was back. 

When had he come back?

Steve stared at him, Eddie was laying on his back - his hair was all over the place, his lips parted a little as he breathed - his lashes kissing his pale cheeks. And Steve was struck by how painfully beautiful the older man was, it was an overwhelming feeling. Not just lust, it was so much more than that - it was something that he didn't really know how to describe. When Eddie would tell him that he loved Steve? Steve would hear the words, and he could say them back.

But sometimes he wondered if he really understood what they meant. Did Steve know what love meant?

When he looked at Eddie sleeping, when he looked at him - and felt what he was feeling right now, in this moment - Steve thought maybe he knew what Love was, really knew. It was something that he couldn't describe. Not that he could describe most of his feelings anyway at the best of times. But Steve knew, he knew that he didn't have to find a word - to describe it. 

It just was. 

Tears slid silently down his face and Steve let out a shaky exhale - he was so confused about how Eddie was there. When did he come back? Was he ever gone? Steve slid out of the bed, he put his glasses on and he headed down the hallway. 

Steve was standing in the kitchen, staring out the window - but then he got a glass of water and gulped it down, and then got another one. 

"Hej Wolfie, did you sleep well?" the familiar rough voice made Steve let out a soft little whimper. Kaj. He set the glass in the sink, and then turned slowly.

Kaj walked into the kitchen behind him, his hair was out - hanging all around him, shirtless and covered in his tattoos - Steve just stared at him, he was hit with an overwhelming rush of too much, too much emotion. He felt like the air was being sucked from his lungs. Kaj was Steve's pack, he was his home - Safety. He hadn't felt safe in a long time.

"You don't remember calling me do you?" Kaj's voice was rough from sleep, and Steve just nodded in agreement. 

"You called me yesterday, I come - here I am." Kaj gave him a soft little smile, his vibrant blue eyes burning. 

He told you that he's like you, a Wolf - Skyggeulv. (shadow wolf)

"Skyggeulv.." Steve said it softly, almost inaudible - and Kaj said softly, "Ah.. so you do remember at least that yes?" He had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and Steve lifted his gaze - Kaj's met Steve's and then Steve bit his lip. 

Kaj moved in closer, and then he just pulled Steve into his arms, he curled himself in close - not saying anything, Steve wasn't sure he could - but the warmth, the safety of Kaj's arms - it was calming, he just felt his body relax. 

"Du er i sikkerhed nu, lillebror." Kaj said softly, "You told me last time we saw each other that they had stopped, the black outs." (You are safe now little brother)

Steve said quietly, "...I lied."

Kaj let out a soft, rumbling laugh - "Well obviously, but... why did you lie?" He had his fingers in Steve's hair, stroking lazily - and Steve just sighed against his throat and drawled softly - "Because I.. am tired of being the fucking freak Kaj... sick.. of it.. I'm.. I didn't wanna be..." He just trailed off and went silent.

"You're not a fucking freak Wolfie, you're not.." Kaj murmured against his ear - "You just are scared, that doesn't make you a freak."

Tears burned behind Steve's eyelids and he whispered - "Yeah... yeah it does... it does."

He curled his fingers against Kaj's side, and he let out a soft - shaky exhale. Pulling back his face was flushed - and Kaj said softly - "...So.. your .. friend Eddie.."

"I.. don't want to talk about that yet.." Steve said hoarsely, and he looked up at Kaj, "Not... yet."

Kaj stared down at him, "Hmm. you wanted me to make him leave at first." He pushed Steve's hair out of his face - "Then you just got real quiet, and fell asleep on him."

Steve felt the heat in his face get even hotter, and he muttered - "Please... Kaj, Kan vi tale om noget andet?" (Can we talk about something else?)

They just stared at each other, and then Steve lowered his gaze, shoving Kaj gently - and the other man let out a soft rumbling laugh - "I didn't.. think you would ever be brave enough to find yourself a man.."

"Oh.. my god Kaj!" Steve growled out, "Can you just shut the hell up, stop talkin about it... I.. can't even .." He stalked outside with his pack of cigarettes and his lighter, as if that was going to mean he could escape - Kaj just followed after him.

"...I'm sorry." Kaj said, not at all sorry and they both knew it - his eyes were twinkling and he sat down - his fingers curling around Steve's wrist and then he just tugged Steve into his lap, nuzzling his face into Steve's hair as he murmured, "Don't get all pissy with me - come and cuddle me, I've missed you."

Steve huffed softly, "I don't want to cuddle you, you're annoying as hell - your pissing me off.." He snuggled in though and Kaj smirked as he murmured - "But you like me teasing you, you always have."

"Hush.." Steve said softly, and he lit a cigarette - shivering as Kaj stroked his fingers against his belly. "That tickles." He bit Kaj's jaw softly and the other man let out a soft laugh. "Okay - I'll stop."

Steve took a drag on the smoke, and then he passed it to Kaj - who murmured, "So... is he your man, Eddie?"

"Kaj!" Steve's voice came out all husky and breathless, and he was blushing - he knew he was, he took the smoke back and then he said softly - almost inaudibly, except Kaj had perfect hearing, "Yeah.. I.. think so? I... I hope...s-so?" 

He took a drag, and then passed the cigarette back to Kaj, who was lazily stroking his belly again - "I think so." He said softly and Steve whispered - "You... and Eddie, you talked?"

"Yes, at one point - I was going to kick his ass out, but... then I didn't." Kaj let out a soft laugh - "...You.. and I got high together. Do you remember that?"

Steve said softly, "I... don't think so.." He shifted a little and was tracing over Kaj's tattoos with his fingers - he added - "That's why I feel better though, calmer." 

It wasn't a question, and they both knew it. Kaj leaned forward, putting the cigarette out and Steve was hit with the scent of Kaj - it was a powerful mixture of musk and wood, and smoke. It was a smell of fires and childhood, hiding out to be safe - tears sprang in Steve's eyes and he let out a harsh breath. 

Kaj said quietly, "Hey... Hey.." He wrapped his arms around Steve as Steve curled his arms around Kaj and hid his face, his tears came too fast for him to reign them back in. Kaj didn't say anything else, he didn't ask Steve to tell him what was wrong - he didn't try to push, he just held him and Steve could feel him rocking him gently. 

Steve hadn't seen Kaj for almost a year, about ten months. Or at least that's what Steve could remember. He curled his fingers into the muscle of Kaj's back and breathed out harshly, Kaj's hold on him was tighter and he felt Kaj shift him into his lap. 

Steve breathed in and then out slowly, his voice was shaky - raw as he said, "When did you last see me? When... when did I last call you."

"Almost a year go." Kaj's voice was rough, and Steve said softly - "Not before that?"

"Not before that, its been a long time - last time we saw each other, you weren't living here.." Kaj whispered, then he added - "You were living in that shit hole."

Steve sat back, and he looked at Kaj - "...Oh the..." He let out a soft little exhale as Kaj's cradled his face and then said, "Ja, the place with all the cockroaches - that was bad."

"I wasn't there much... spent most of my time at work, so.. I didn't really think about the cockroaches." Steve muttered softly. 

Kaj rest their foreheads together and Steve whispered, "Least there was no rats."

"Jesus... I I'm happy that you called me." Kaj said softly, "I told you last night that I had been thinking about you the day before." 

Steve brushed his fingertip over a scar that ran down Kaj's chest, "When...did you get this? How....did you get this?" His voice was soft - and Kaj held Steve's hand - "I got into a barfight with an asshole that had a knife coated in Monkshood.."

"Wolfsbane?...Jesus Kaj." Steve breathed out sharply - and Kaj muttered - "I'm not dead yet." 

Steve stared at Kaj, and then he let out a soft little exhale - "...Will you run with me?" Kaj asked suddenly - "Put on your fur... come run with me?"

 They stared at each other, and then Steve whispered - "Yeah... yeah okay." 

Kaj's blue eyes burned bright and he let go of Steve's hand - "Now?" Steve asked, he resisted the urge to touch the scar again - even though he wanted too.

"Ja, nu - Tag din pels på og kom og løb med mig." Kaj murmured it against Steve's ear, and Steve nodded - whispering back, "Yeah... yeah okay." (Yes now, put on your fur and come run with me)

Kaj smirked, and then he whispered - "Good, best leave Eddie a note." 

"Yeah.. uh-huh." Steve nodded, and he slid himself out of Kaj's lap - then he went inside - he wrote Eddie a note in his spidery writing, and then he looked over his shoulder at Kaj, who was watching him - "We don't need to make breakfast.." Kaj made a face at the word - "We can just go and catch it." He gave Steve a grin - his teeth all white and sparkly, and Steve let out a soft laugh.

"I fucking hate breakfast." He said darkly.

"Fuck sake me too - and brunch, fuck that la-de-dah bullshit Lille Ulv." (little wolf) Kaj smirked, "Remember the country club we broke into?" He asked as he stretched, and Steve smirked - "Uh-huh and we smashed up that house... stole all that fancy shit and pawned it off, yes Spooky - I remember.."

He shifted closer - and then Kaj let out a soft little laugh, "You do?" His gaze moved over Steve's face, and Steve said quietly - "Yes, I do remember that.. it was fun."

"Yeah.. it was.." Kaj held out his hand - and Steve took it, and then Kaj led him outside. They walked for a little bit - till they came to the treeline of the woods. 

Steve glanced back at the house, and Kaj was watching him - "Come.." He headed into the shadows of the treeline, and Steve muttered softly - "I am coming.. jeez Louise.." He heard the warm rumbling laugh from Kaj and he shook his head, "You ain't got any patience... sheesh."

He stepped into the darkness of the tree's and breathed in the scent of the richness of it. The damp undergrowth - the pine, he let out a soft little noise in his throat when Kaj interlaced their fingers and they walked deeper in, the leaves and debris crunching under their boots - the rain was still moist , and hadn't dried away. It was humid and made everything smell stronger - inside Steve's wolf was itching to get out, and he could feel it under his skin.

Kaj was looking up through the trees - the light was just piercing through, catching his eyes and making them look like jewels. Steve let out a soft little breath - the light kissed his hair, he looked like some kind of Norse God, Kaj must have felt him looking - because he turned his head, and stared straight back at Steve. They just stared at each other for a moment, and then Steve lowered his gaze, heat in his cheeks and he didn't know why.

"It's nice out here, do you put on your fur and come out here much Wolfie?" Kaj asked him - as they stepped into a small clearing. Steve kept his gaze down as he Kaj started to get undressed.

He shook his head, "No? I.. mean if I have.. I don't remember. I... did though a ...few nights ago.. for the first time, I...did." Steve's hair hid his face as he pulled off his clothes - he was always uncomfortable in his skin, awkward - he'd always felt that way, even when he was a child. Like he didn't quite work, his skin didn't fit. He didn't fit in his body.

"If I lived out here, I'd probably spend most of my time in the woods." Kaj said, and Steve glanced over his shoulder, nodding yes - and then he curled his arms around himself, he didn't know why he felt so awkward - it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before. But it seemed different this time, being in the woods - he knew that Kaj had seen Steve in his fur before because he'd told him, but the point was, Steve didn't remember. This was the first time, he'd been aware of himself - and it felt different.

Kaj's gaze didn't leave his, and Steve's eyes turned gold - burning violently, vibrant and Kaj let out a soft, rumbling little growl  - Steve growled back, and then he breathed out and shifted into his fur. It was effortless, as easy as exhaling, there was no tortured agonizing sequence of events - he just exhaled and then he was on the ground, his paws hitting the earth.

His golden eyes burning as he stared at Kaj. His fur was pure white, he stuck out in the darkness - his vibrant blue eyes glowing like iridescent jewels.  The last remnant of shadowy mist curled around him and Steve trotted on his paws light as a feather - making no sound as he rubbed his body along Kaj's. They nuzzled each others faces' hot breath and soft nips - and Steve let out a soft little noise as he heard Kaj's voice in his head.

You're still Min lille ulv. (My little wolf)

Steve wasn't a big guy in his skin, he had always been a skinny kid - he wasn't a bag of bones now, he was lithe - muscled and there wasn't an ounce of fat on his body. He thought about Eddie in his fur, he was big, even though he wasn't in his skin. Eddie was graceful, his body was lithe and muscled and he was just beautiful. Steve let out a soft little growl in his throat and he bumped his head against Kaj's - Kaj's rumbling laugh in his head made Steve wag his tail. 

Kaj was big in his skin, and in his fur. He was pretty too - Kaj's size didn't mean that he wasn't fast - he looked at Steve, and it looked almost like he was grinning - and then he sprinted off into the darkness. 

CHEATER! Steve yelled at him, only to get more laughter in his head. 

Steve was off, he ran fast - darting through the undergrowth at rocket speed - he knew where to go, he realized that he had travelled through these woods - it was coming back to him as he ran ducking and diving and chasing after Kaj - he was so fast, and because his fur was as black as black could get - he was unseen.

Steve could smell animals - rabbit, deer - he could smell the decay of old trees, Fungai - rotting leaves, the sweet musky damp earth. 

He could smell both life and death all at once - and he could smell Kaj. 

Steve pounced on Kaj and they tumbled and rolled across a clearing and down the side of a small ravine - crashing and nipping and playing. Steve whining softly and Kaj happily growling as they crashed down to the bottom. Tails wagging, and Kaj was laughing in his head as Steve bounced across a small stream, not wanting to get his paws wet.

Kaj bounded across it instead - sending water spraying everywhere, because he didn't care if he got wet - and it made Steve whine softly - he shook himself off like a dog.

Kaj pounced on him and got him even more wet, making Steve growl - You bastard.. how dare you. 

I can't help myself when you're prancing across it like a little princess. Kaj said back. 

They were both laughing this time, and Steve felt Kaj nuzzle his face - licking him softly. Steve just flopped down in the water - and Kaj flopped down beside him. They laid there together - and Kaj licked at him again. Steve wagged his tail, and then rolled onto his side - Kaj was biting at him, and Steve nipped back. Then he lifted his head - eyes focused, and Kaj did the same thing - the play stopped, both of them on high alert all of a sudden. 

Steve's nose lifted - catching the scent, and Kaj growled deep - low and instinctively, Steve's golden eyes caught a shadow moving through the dense bushes - something watching them and then he growled a deep, warning - Kaj said in his head, What do you see?

He didn't answer - instead Steve sprang off his back legs - and leapt forward - crashing into the top layer of bushes, and Kaj snapped forward, running up the other side - Steve saw the shadow move and then  it was running, and Steve chased - the Cougar was big, and it let out a strange cry of anger as Steve chased it - Kaj was behind him, he hadn't quiet caught up to him yet. 

They crashed through the undergrowth - and then Steve landed on the large cat -, it struck its paw out - hitting him and Steve whined in pain as its claws lashed his side - it cut through his flesh but Steve ignored it - and then head butted the cat with his head - before smashing into it again and sinking his teeth into its throat.

By then Kaj had caught up - and he too had latched on, they brought the cat down together - and Steve snapped its neck with a satisfying crunch of his jaw as he flicked his head. 

Kaj had blood staining his white fur - and Steve breathed out heavily as he released his jaw and let go. He was panting softly, and he let out a soft whimper as Kaj licked against his side - where the cat had got him. Shift into your skin, let me see.

Steve didn't want too, he licked at Kaj's muzzle instead and Kaj pawed at him - Steve, let me see - we need to check how long it might take for you to heal it.

He whispered back, I'm fine.. lets just.. share our kill. Kaj's blue eyes stared at him, and Steve tried to ignore the pain - his heart was pounding in his ears - he knew it was bad. If it wasn't, he would have started to heal already, he could feel the sticky wet of blood matting into his fur. 

Steve bit into the side of the Cougar and felt a satisfaction in doing it - they both ate, Kaj's eyes kept meeting his - and Kaj said We should go back to the stream, you can clean yourself up.

Kaj dragged the Cougar, and Steve slowly followed beside him. The water felt good against his side - there was a lot of blood though, and he whined softly as Kaj bit against the back of his neck, Change back we need to make sure you're okay. Kaj's voice was rough inside his head, worried and Steve breathed out shakily.

He let himself shift back, and Kaj's fingers brushed against his side - "Fuck.. he got you good Lille dreng." (Baby boy) 

Steve let out a pained noise, his fingers shaking as he curled them against Kaj's - "I'll be okay.." He rasped out, Kaj's hair kissed the water - and Kaj muttered softly, "You're fucking crazy going after a cougar - all by yourself, he was a big bastard too." 

Kaj shifted a little, and Steve stared up at the stars above them - his eyes were still burning gold, making everything sharper - clearer. "Why do you wear those ridiculous glasses." Kaj said suddenly, his voice rumbling against his ear, "You don't even need them, you have wolf eyes, eyes that see perfectly... you hide behind them don't you.."

Steve just nodded, and then he muttered softly - "I don't feel so good Kaj.." He let his eyes close, and Kaj said roughly - "Yeah I know, I.." He pulled Steve into his body, and he murmured - "I don't want to leave you here, you shouldn't be alone like this - we can stay together till it heals, I... could feed you its heart, it'll speed it up but... I'm not your mate - it.." 

Kaj was stroking his fingers through Steve's hair, and he whispered, "I'll ..make your wolf crazy."

"My wolf, me... we're already crazy Kaj." Steve murmured softly, "Already.. crazy." 

Kaj let out a soft laugh, and Steve smiled - he felt Kaj's fingers brush against his side where the wound was. Holding his hand against it, it hurt - but the pain made him feel like he was still there, without the pressure of his hand - Steve couldn't feel his body.

"That feels better." Steve's voice raw, "I... am I going to die?"

Kaj growled out, "No... no don't fucking say that.." Steve could see the tears on Kaj's face.

"Maybe... I am though." Steve whispered, "...I.. feel.. like.. I.. can't feel my body Kaj."

Kaj breathed out heavier and he said hoarsely "Please.. please don't fucking say that - you can't die, you can't.." Steve whispered - "I've.. been dead a long time already, I've just been a ghost here a shadow.. walking through this world never really fitting here... you know that as well as I do.." Tears slid silently down Steve's face, "I.. got killed by a fucking cat Kaj, a fucking cat!"

He let out a shaky laugh, and Kaj growled out tearfully - "Stop it, a fucking cat isn't killing you."

Kaj ripped the heart out of the cougars' chest almost viciously - spraying blood over them and then he held it to Steve's lips - Steve breathed out and then he sank his teeth in and bit down, taking a bite he felt the rush of warm blood, the flesh tasted good. There was a mixture of fear and excitement - the cat had really put his heart into fighting them both off.

Steve's eyes closed, and Kaj said roughly - "Keep eating it... eat more.." He took another bite, and then Kaj ate the rest of it - before holding it to Steve's lips again and Steve ate the last few bites. 

They both were quiet, but aware of each other in a different way - more. Steve let his eyes close and Kaj was quiet - he shifted a little and Kaj said quietly, his voice rough - "I think the bleeding is slowly down."

Steve opened his eyes and he curled his fingers over Kaj's, "Yeah.." He whispered it and lowered his head, his hair hanging down and hiding his face. 

He didn't want to really think too much about it - about how intimate it was, how it felt. Kaj was his brother, he was just trying to help save his life - so his wolf would try to heal his body. Kaj let out a heavier exhale and Steve shivered as Kaj nuzzled his face into Steve's hair. Breathing him in - and he closed his eyes tighter. Blood was flowing into the water, and Steve whispered - "...I.. I'm sorry Kaj I ...don't think it.." 

Kaj silenced him by biting into his neck deeply, Steve's eyes burned impossibly bright - and Kaj's voice in his head said roughly, I'm not letting you die - you have to stay with me or you will..

Steve let out a soft little whimper, and Kaj growled at him - the warm rumbling vibration made Steve tremble, and Kaj licked against the bite - he said softly, "Look at me, we can't get you back to the house, this... it's just you and me - I.. let me help you, please, please don't die on me.." 

Kaj brushed his lips, feather soft against his and he whispered - "He doesn't have to know, but if we don't do this - you are going to die." Tears slid silently down Kaj's face and Steve nodded, he whispered - "Okay.." Kaj scooped Steve up in his arms, and Steve's eyes fluttered closed, Kaj whispered - "We'll go up here, where there's some.. privacy.."

Steve's heart was beating too fast, and he knew Kaj was feeling nervous - he could smell it in his scent. Kaj laid him down and he was stroking his fingers through Steve's hair, "...Do you want, can.. you put on your fur.. or.." 

Steve could feel the heat in his face - and he whispered - "I.. think so.." He winced at the pain - the wounds in his side had started to bleed again, the flesh hadn't even knitted together - Steve knew it was because he was too weak. He just hadn't been shifting enough - hunting enough. Hiding - always hiding - his Death would be his own fault. 

Kaj laid behind him and he said softly, "I... we - like this.." His voice was rough, shaking and he whispered - "I... We.. can do it like this?"

Steve whispered - "...Kaj.."

"Please... I.. we might not have much longer - ... I don't want you to die.." Kaj breathed out against Steve's ear.

"Okay...mhmm.. okay then Spooky.." Steve drawled softly - he was so cold, and Kaj whispered - "Okay..."

Steve felt Kaj's fingers stroke his leg, lifting it a little - the heat of his fingers against his skin made Steve shiver - Kaj pressed his warmth into his back - and he let his eyes close - as Kaj rubbed the tip of his cock, in between his ass cheeks - it felt so wrong - but they were both quiet. 

Breathing slightly heavier - Steve felt Kaj brush his hair away from his shoulder - and he kissed against his skin - feathery and soft. But it was Kaj's breath - that moved over his skin - hot and shaky, that made Steve whimper softly, so soft - and Kaj nuzzled his face into the back of his hair against his neck. 

They'd been close before, but not with intimacy behind it - not sexual. And Steve felt butterflies - in his stomach, he wasn't sure what to make of it - but he was aware of Kaj's cock as he stroked it against his body, and the heat of it - Steve might have been close to the edge of death - but his wolf was stirring for an entirely different reason now.

Kaj was his pack, his family - his protector. Steve's wolf knew this instinctively - Safety, Home, He feels good. He killed for you - he'd die for you. Steve wasn't thinking about anything else in that moment - just the instinct to survive, to fuck... to feel Kaj inside him. He wanted it - his Wolf wanted it. He was wet - and the scent of it was obvious.

Kaj breathed in deeply, and said against his ear, "You... I can.. smell you.." 

His voice was rough, and deep - and Steve moaned softly, "I can.. smell you too.." And he could - the heady, deep musk - was so much more intense than Steve had ever smelt it before. He could smell Kaj's skin, the tang of his pre-cum, his mouth was watering, and Steve keened soft in his throat - Kaj slid his hand into Steve's hair and moved it out the way, sucking against his neck - and then he pushed his cock into Steve's wet heat - slowly.

Steve's eyes fluttered closed, and he let out a dirty little grunt - Kaj's cock was thick, and it stretched him as he pushed in - Steve felt his fangs in his mouth - and Kaj growled against his ear, "Holy...fuck you are tight." Steve felt like the air was being pulled out of his lungs - just what they were doing, Kaj said huskily - "It's working, its working ... you're... already healing.." 

He could feel the heat, the full body shiver that rippled through him and Kaj held him closer - Steve moaned, and he keened again - Kaj let out a dirty soft little, "Fuck.." Against his ear - as Steve clenched his heat around Kaj's cock. Steve knew that technically the moment he was healed, they should stop - they should, but he didn't want too. "Fuck.. fuck me.." His voice was all breathless and wrecked - and Kaj growled against his ear, "Jesus... you.. don't wanna stop?"

Kaj ran his fingers over the sticky blood on his side - the wound was gone, Steve curled his hand against Kaj's on his hip - pushing back against him - Kaj pulled Steve up onto his knees and Steve stared at Kaj over his shoulder, "C'mon.." He pushed back against him, driving Kaj's cock a little deeper and they both moaned. 

"Fuck..yeah.. yeah okay..." Kaj growled at him - gripping his hips, and Steve breathed out all in a rush of air as Kaj slammed his cock into him deep - Steve moaned and Kaj growled out, "Fuck your so tight, you... Jesus Christ.." 

Steve rest his head against his arms, and moaned out - "Yeah? Your gonna fucking split me in two - fuck .. Kaj.. fuck me harder.." He didn't even know what he was saying, he wasn't feeling shy - he just wanted it - wanted Kaj to fuck him into oblivion. Kaj growled out, "Jesus your mouth, who knew you had a mouth on you like this you dirty little bitch."

Steve whimpered, biting down against his own arm, and Kaj was pounding his hips - driving his cock deeper and harder and Steve felt like his cock was punching into his stomach - taking his breath away. His wolf was singing inside him, begging for more - he curled his fingers into the dirt, and cried as Kaj's cock hit into that place inside him that made him see stars - blinding pleasure making him cry out into the air around them. 

Kaj gripped Steve's hair and held onto it as he fucked into him harder, mercilessly - he growled against Steve's ear, "You like it, hmm? Like my cock deep in your pussy, I'm.. gonna cum.. you feel so good. so fucking good.." Steve whimpered, breathlessly - "Yeah.. yeah I like it... I like it... oh.. fuck.. fuck... "  His orgasm hit him and Steve's arms felt like they weren't going to hold him up, he came all over the ground in thick ribbons, and Kaj held him against his body, growling against his ear - "I.. got you..."

Steve held Kaj's arms - he was shaking violently, but Kaj held him - and he gasped out - each thrust of Kaj's cock making his breath catch. 

Kaj grunted softly, and Steve could feel him coming inside him - the two of them both gasping with it. Steve letting out soft, dirty little grunts - and he let his eyes close. Kaj slowed his thrusts, till stilled them. They were both quietly catching their breath - and Kaj curled his hand against Steve's belly - Steve licked his lips - his mouth dry. 

Kaj breathed in the smell of Steve's hair and then he breathed out heavily - Steve stared down at all his own cum on the ground - and he shivered, Kaj placed a soft - brush of his lips against Steve's throat, over his pulse, and Steve gently pushed Kaj's hands from his hips - he eased himself free- and Kaj slid out of his body. They both let out a soft noise at the feeling of separating.

Steve could feel the heat in his face as thick ropes of Kajs come slid out of his body, and Kaj let out a soft growl - Steve looked over his shoulder, their eyes meeting - Steve clenched his body and Kaj watched him do it, neither of them saying anything, but Steve bit his bottom lip and lowered his gaze - Kaj stood up, and then he held out his hand - and Steve took it, rising to his feet. Then Kaj led him back down to the stream. 

They both went into the water, and Steve watched as Kaj went into the deeper part and sank under the water. He came back out - all drenched and staring at Steve intense and quiet and Steve shivered a little as he washed himself off, and then he too went into the deeper water - he let himself float in it - and then he sank down under it the water was cold but it felt good. When he resurfaced, Kaj was closer and he was staring down at Steve. "...Okay?" He murmured softly.

Steve nodded, and then he asked back - "You okay?"

"Ja, I'm okay.." Kay's voice was rough, he gently gripped Steve's chin - and then he kissed Steve's top lip - breathing out soft, and Steve actually shivered - not because he was cold either. They made their way out of the water, and then Kaj shifted back into his fur - Steve did the same thing, but they didn't race each other - they just moved slowly together, side by side - they were almost back to Steve's when Kaj said inside his head, You walk on your tip toes... 

They both got back to the clearing where their clothes were and shifted back into their skin. "My tip-toes?" Steve said softly.

"Ja... you walk on the tips of your paws, ...you kind of do that sometimes in your skin too - you're.. delicate, soft - I don't know.." Kaj mumbled softly and Steve let out a soft laugh - "..Are you saying I ponce around the place?"

Kaj laughed, "No? Well.. maybe a little.. but... not in a bad way.. you know." He shook his head and Steve shoved him - "... I'm not a ponce."

"You kinda are.." Kaj grinned, and he said - "But... its because you're tiny and delicate - your waist is ridiculous."

"What's wrong with my waist?" Steve frowned and looked down at his waist as he asked it. 

"Its tiny." Kaj said simply - and then got back to the porch - and Steve said - "Is it? I hadn't noticed."

They got inside, and Kaj said - "Well yeah it is - and yeah." He just scratched his neck.

Steve laughed softly, "Mhmm... well okay then.." 

They both walked into the kitchen - and Eddie was sitting at the table, he looked between them - and then at Steve. "Good morning.." The older man's voice was soft, his gaze intense as he looked at Steve. "Morning Eddie.' Kaj said to him, and Steve said nothing, he just stared back and then lowered his gaze.

"Want some breakfast?" Kaj asked them both - Eddie was just staring at Steve - he said to Kaj though, "What were you thinking?"

"No thanks, you know I hate breakfast." Steve muttered, lowering his gaze and then he found his cigarettes, lighting one and taking a drag. 

Eddie looked at Kaj, "I could make you an omelette? Or he doesn't have much actually - Steve you need to buy food lillebror." (little brother)

Steve just snorted, "Whatever.." He muttered - and then he fished around in the cupboard finding a bottle of bourbon. 

Eddie said quietly, "Where did you two go?"

"We went for a run in the woods." Kaj said, as he started beating eggs up and Eddie said, "Oh.. I see." He wasn't looking at Kaj though - he just kept staring at Steve. 

Steve wasn't looking at him, he was avoiding him - and Eddie didn't like it. 

Steve let out a soft, "I'm going to go take a bath... while you two bond or whatever over your breakfast.." He made a face, looking at Eddie from under his lashes - and then he glanced at Kaj, "...kan jeg få en løsning?" (Can I have a fix?)

Eddie didn't like it when they spoke together in Danish either, he thought it was rude - and Steve was doing it on purpose so that he could speak to Kaj without him knowing what they were speaking about. Eddie's jaw was twitching.

Kaj said back to Steve, "Ja, selvfølgelig, min taske er i soveværelset." (Yes of course, my bag is in the bedroom)

Steve said softly, "Thank's Darlin'..." He gave Eddie another look - and then he left the room. Eddie breathed out sharply, but he stayed silent. 

"I'm making you an omelette - sorry there's not much else." Kaj said as he glanced at Eddie. The older man stared back at him and then he said - "...That's fine. It'll be fine." 

Kaj murmured, "Okay good." 

The quiet in the room was tense, and Kaj focused on making Eddie's breakfast - Eddie kept staring down the hallway, and then he'd glance briefly at Kaj - but he didn't say a word. Kaj flipped the omelette out onto a plate, and gave it to Eddie his along with some cutlery. Eddie was kind of picking at it, and he said, "You didn't make any for yourself?." 

"Is it not good?" Kaj asked, before he added -"I'm not really a breakfast person."

"No.. its fine, I'm just.. not very hungry, I'm sorry." Eddie started eating it and Kaj said - "I.. uh.. I'm going to be leaving soon so you.. yeah." He finished lamely, and Eddie's face darkened slightly - "Don't leave because of me, he seems to like you being here - so perhaps its me that should be leaving." 

Kaj just stayed quiet, not looking at Eddie as he said - "...I can come back some other time." 

Eddie just breathed out sharply, and Kaj went quiet again.

Kai he stood up - "I'm... just going to say goodbye to him, and then I'll get out of here."

Eddie tensed up more, as Kaj disappeared down the hallway - he watched him, watched as he just walked into the bathroom - into the fucking bathroom while he's naked in there. Eddie was becoming almost irrational with anger by that point. He slammed his plate into the sink and then started doing the dishes to distract himself. He didn't like it - not one bit, and the thing that he liked even less?

They had each others scent all over each other. 

Eddie liked that even fucking less. 

Chapter Text

Steve was sitting in the bathtub, he hadn't got high yet - he lifted his head when Kaj slipped into the bathroom and shut the door - "...Hej.." He murmured it softly and then knelt down beside the tub, close and Steve mumbled back, "Hey... what's ..wrong?" He shifted onto his side, and breathed out against Kaj's face - they stared at each other.

Kaj said quietly, "I.. should get going, but.. I keep that.." He motioned to the case with his finger - "I can bring you more if you need it."

He brushed his fingers against Steve's face, and Steve nodded - biting down on his bottom lip and then he said, "You're leaving because of Eddie." It wasn't a question, and Kaj said, "I'm leaving because if I don't - I'm going to say, or do something I shouldn't and.." He went quiet, and Steve whispered - "Oh.."

Kaj muttered softly, "I... couldn't let you fucking die."

"Why do you feel so guilty...it isn't like you held me down and fucking raped me.." Steve whispered it against Kaj's mouth - Kaj breathed out sharply, and he muttered softly - "Jesus Christ, I... gotta go." 

Steve murmured, "Okay then.." He looked at Kaj from under his lashes, and then he whispered - "Bye?"

Kaj brushed his lips feather soft against Steve's and whispered, "Bye.." Steve curled his fingers against the tub and licked softly, teasingly against his mouth - "Uh-huh Bror.." (brother)

"Fucks sake." Kaj gave him a dark look, and Steve just stared up at him, drawling softly - "I'll see you next time then? Not... ten months from now though I promise..."

Kaj let out a soft rumbling laugh, "Yeah? You promise?"

"Mhmmm I swear.." Steve crossed his fingers over his heart. "Bye Darlin'.." He bit his bottom lip and Kaj growled softly at him - "Bye Lille Ulv." (little wolf)

***

Steve let out a soft breath as Kaj left and the door shut, he sank down in to the water and went underneath it - he stayed under till his lungs burned and then rose up out of it. When he resurfaced, he breathed out slightly heavier, and smoothed his hair back. 

He curled his foot against the tap - the water was white because Steve had added some bath stuff to the water - it smelt like patchouli and had goats milk. He liked it and it made his skin feel soft. Steve opend the bottle of bourbon and took a swig - he licked his lips, and then looked at Eddie from under his lashes as the older man came into the bathroom.

Eddie sat on the stool beside the tub, Steve let out a soft little breath - and he curled his foot - flicking the little tap with his foot and adding a bit more hot water.

"...I didn't mean to be gone for so long. Jim freaked out on me - they know Nancy's missing I got.. caught up in it, I tried to call you but you weren't answering." Eddie said quietly - but he had an edge in his voice.

"Oh." Steve said - not saying anything else, he curled his fingers against the edge of the tub and stared up at the ceiling. He knew Eddie was watching him - he could feel the intensity of his gaze. 

"That's all your going to say to me Steven?" Eddie breathed out sharply, and Steve shrugged - drawling softly as he said, "I... don't remember what I was doin' while you were gone.." 

Eddie shifted, kneeling beside the tub - and then he gripped Steve's chin - tightly, and growled at him - "The fuck were you doing with him."

Steve let out a soft exhale, not looking at Eddie - he whispered, "Who?"

"Don't act all fucking innocent and like you don't know what I'm fucking talking about! I got back here last night and you and him were in your bed, sleeping together - but he said you got high together, after you told me that you hadn't used heroin - he.. was here and like he knew everything about .." Eddie was angry, and he breathed out heavily against Steve's face.

"He came in here while you were in the bath naked!" He snarled it at Steve, and then growled - "And you were being rude.. so fucking rude."

Steve just stared at Eddie from under his lashes, "I hadn't seen him for ten months, and your telling shit if we were naked in my bed together - we don't get naked to get high together. So.. don't fucking say that. He's.. you don't understand what we've been through together - literal Hell I probably wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him." Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he said shakily, "I.. can't I can't remember parts of my life because my fucking brain blocks it out... he.. he helps me - no matter what, he never turns his back on me." 

Eddie was just staring at him, eyes black as night - angry - and Steve said softly, "How was I being rude, what did I do that fucking offended you so much? You weren't even here Eddie you fucking left." He pulled his head away, and stared at the wall as he curled in on himself and rest his head against his knees.

"...I tried to phone you!" Eddie said angry, "It.. you didn't answer the goddamn phone. And you were being rude speaking in his ..language in front of me - he was touching you and you let him.. you fucking let him - he was in your bed with you.. and .. this morning.. when you.. both came back in from whatever you'd been doing. You stunk of each other."

Steve just stared at the wall, and Eddie breathed out in a rush - tangling his fingers into Steve's hair as he growled - "I don't.. want him or anyone else fucking touching you.."

"Fuck you!" Steve growled at Eddie, then he spat in his face. 

Eddie slapped him hard, and Steve whimpered - Eddie instantly regretted it - he wiped Steve's spit off his face and said hoarsely - "I'm...sorry.." He tried to reach out but Steve  backed up and curled into himself more. 

"D-Don't touch me." Steve's tears slid down his face, and instead of anger - he just cowered away as Eddie gently curled his fingers into his hair. "I.. d-didn't mean too.." He said softly, and Steve wouldn't look at him, he just pushed Eddie's hands away and Eddie breathed out heavier, pulling him in closer he whispered - "I'm...sorry my sweet Boy, I.. didn't mean it I swear.." Eddie kissed Steve's face - tasting his tears and Steve said shakily, "..You did.. you did mean it.."

Eddie stroked his fingers against Steve's face - where he'd hit him and he whispered "I didn't mean too... my darling, I swear - I just.. I got so angry at the thought of him.. touching you.."

Steve's eyes closed and he whispered tearfully, "...Then you'd hate that he fucked me this morning.."

Eddie's blood ran cold and he said quietly - "What?"

Tears slid silently down Steve's face - his breath coming out in shaky little exhales. 

"What the fuck did you just say?" Eddie's voice was hard - he gripped Steve's chin and snarled at him - "What...did you just say to me.."

Steve opened his eyes, tears slid down his face and he whispered - "I bent over in the dirt and he took me - he buried his cock so deep in my pussy and fucked me till I screamed and begged for more.. and came in the dirt.."

Eddie said hoarsely, "You.. no.. you're lying.."

Steve's eyes burned gold and he whispered, "Why would I lie... hmm? Why would lie - why do you think we stunk of each other?" Tears slid down Steve's face and he whispered - "He fucked me real good.. I can still feel him deep in my pussy.." 

Eddie slapped Steve again, hard and then tangled his fingers in his hair and yanked him out the tub. "You little slut.." He snarled out - and Steve just breathed out harshly, he didn't fight back, or stop Eddie as the older man hit him again - and then again. Each blow harder than the one before it. 

Steve held his arms over his head - and Eddie punched him in the ribs, and kicked him - and then Eddie snarled and picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. 

Steve breathed out harshly as Eddie slapped him again, it hurt - bad, it made him see stars - Steve whimpered as he tasted blood in his mouth. 

"You wanna act like a whore I'll fucking treat you like one." Eddie was enraged, his red eyes burning brightly and Steve was sobbing, his face hurt - it hurt to breathe, he was sure he'd bitten his own tongue - he could taste blood in his mouth. He didn't have the energy to heal himself - or the fear was stopping him. 

Steve tried to get away from the older man, but Eddie spread his legs roughly - and held him down against the mattress as he buried his cock deep and fucked him hard and brutal - he wasn't being loving or gentle. His wolf was pissed off and wanting to claim him back. 

Steve didn't know why he told him, that he'd been hurt by the cougar and would have died otherwise. Steve didn't really care, he wanted the pain he - wanted Eddie to hurt him. It didn't matter. 

Steve just laid there as Eddie fucked him without any tenderness at all, Eddie's fingers were going to leave bruises - he didn't kiss him, or touch him - there was nothing loving or tender about it. Steve felt Eddie cum inside him, and then the older man was pulling out of him.

Steve never begged or pleaded with Eddie to stop - he just laid there and let him do it. 

Eddie raked his fingers through his hair and then he said coldly, "You make me sick to look at you right now - your disgusting, you're a dirty little whore." He stalked out the room, slamming the front door and Steve breathed out shakily, tears blurred his vision and he closed his eyes. 

The quiet stillness of the house curled in on him, and Steve just laid there staring into space.

***

He could see light coming through the curtains - and Steve moved slowly, everything hurt - he breathed out as slowly as he could - managing to make it to the bathroom. Steve stared at his reflection in the mirror and just let out a shaky exhale. His eye was swollen shut - he had bruising all around his throat he was pretty sure his ribs were broken - he had bruises all up the side of them where Eddie had beat him. Bruising on his hips. 

Steve winced - and realized he had been bleeding from his ass too, dried blood and Eddie's cum was all over his legs. He just climbed wearily into the cold bath water - and let out a sob as he washed himself clean the best he could. 

His hands were shaking, and Steve let out a sob as he cleaned himself and the water turned pink from the blood. He curled into a small ball, and sank under the water - when he came back up - he whispered to himself, "You're disgusting, and a dirty whore you deserved it.. you're alone, you're nothing.. you're nothing - nothing but a waste of breath.." 

He shivered violently, and Steve let the water out. He climbed out of the tub on shaky legs and then leant down picking up the little case that had shifted under the tub the night before.

Steve took it with him when he went back to his bedroom - he unzipped the case and took out one of the little foil packets - despite the fact that he was shaking so badly, Steve managed to get through the process of fixing it - he pulled a belt tight around his arm, and then sucked up the sickly sweet liquid from the spoon he'd got it ready in. Tears slid down his face as he eased the needle into his arm - Steve didn't even have time to get it back out again.

His head rolled and Steve was out for the count, off to the land of nod.

***

Robin had been worried - extremely worried - after not being able to get hold of the Chief in any way shape of form - she had decided that she couldn't leave it, or ignore it anymore. She drove out to Steve's house on Burnt Church road. It was eerily still - and too quiet out this way. It gave her a creepy unsettling feeling in her stomach, Nancy Wheeler had been missing for nearly five days now - nobody knew where she'd disappeared too.

Robin suspected she'd got cold feet - ran off with probably a new man - left Jonathan Byers in the dust.

It wouldn't be surprising at all, not to Robin - and not to Steve. 

When she arrived at the Chiefs house - the front door was wide open - his truck was there, but no sign of any activity - the dogs were running around wild and one of them - the one with two different colored eyes was sitting at the front door entrance, whining sadly. "Hey boy.." Robin said softly, "Where's your Daddy at huh?"

Thatch pawed at her and then he barked sharply - and Robin stepped inside, "Chief?" She called softly, and then she remembered that Steve had told her so many times not to call him that - "Stevie?" She called again, still not getting any reply. 

Robin bit her lip softly the house was a mess - and when she saw the state of the bathroom - Robin felt really scared. The was blood on the floor - and it was spattered - she quickly moved through the house, "STEVE!" She yelled his name - panicking - and then she opened the door to the master bedroom.

Tears blurred her vision immediately, Steve was on the bed, battered and bloody - he was naked and only had a towel precariously covering his private area. "Oh Stevie.." Robin said tearfully, her hands were shaking as she very gently slipped the needle out of his arm - "What happened to you.." She carefully undid the belt - his arm was bruised from it being so tight. 

Robin had no idea who had hurt him, or how badly he was hurt - she didn't know that Steve was an addict - but the fact that he was broke her heart. She cried softly, as she gently covered him with a blanket, Robin gently stroked his face, ever-so-light - and she whispered, "...Who did this to you."

Steve just let out a labored heavy exhale, but he didn't wake up and Robin felt sick to the stomach, as she shifted Steve into the bed - she realized he was bleeding, that.. someone had raped him? Brutalized him - Robin's heart felt like it was going to break, she didn't want to call anyone, her instinct for some reason - told her not too. She didn't call Eddie, she didn't call Hopper - Robin decided that once Steve woke up, she would let him talk to her if he was ready.

She would take care of him herself if he let her. 

Robin would keep him safe. She let out a soft, little sob and held his hands in hers. Robin knew only to well the brutality that men could wield - the way the could hit and hurt you with their fists - the way they could hit and hurt you with their words. She knew that they could rape you too. Robin just didn't realize that rapists were in all walks of life. 

She whispered fiercely, "I'll keep you safe Stevie, I promise." 

***

It was hours later, when Steve opened his eyes - it was dark, the light was on beside him and Steve wasn't alone - he stared at Robin, confused - and then he was ashamed and embarrassed. He woke her as he moved, and he said hoarsely, "...Buckley.. what ..are you doing here?" He couldn't bare to bring himself to look at her.

Robin said tearfully, "I was worried because I couldn't get hold of you.." 

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat, he just stared down at his hands - and she whispered, "W-what happened to you?"

He just looked away - looked at the wall and felt the urge to be sick. "Nothing." He muttered too soft - too quiet, and Robin whispered tearfully - "I think you need to see a Doctor.. you.. you're hurt Chief."

Steve let out a sob and he shook his head, "No.. no I don't.. m'fine - no I don't..."

Robin gently curled her arms around him and he cried harder - Steve cried broken harsh sobs - and Robin held him close - her gentle fingers stroking his hair as she cried with him - because he was crying. She didn't let him go, and Steve laid there - letting out those strange staticky breaths.

"...Stevie.." Robin said softly and Steve let out a pained noise at the name - Robin's hand rest on the space between his shoulder blades and she whispered - "Oh...god, did... he do this?"

Steve didn't reply, he just shifted slowly - and then said hoarsely, "I.. I need clothes.. I.." 

"Of course... I'm sorry.." Robin said softly, her voice gentle. She got up and pulled some clothes out - helping him to get dressed. Steve whispered, "Please don't tell anyone."

Robins eyes met his, Steve's eyes were almost empty of any emotion at all - they weren't even afraid, they just seemed void - Robin said softly, "I won't, I promise.. but.. Steve your hurt, I think... maybe badly.."

Steve whispered, "It'.. go away.. I.. can't - okay, I can't.."

"Okay, its.. okay." Robin whispered back, she said softly - "Do.. you wanna come stay at my place? I mean it will be a little cramped if we bring the dogs but.. I don't mind?"

Steve shook his head, and then he said quietly, "No.. I.. appreciate the offer - but as soon as I'm able, I'm.. leaving town for a while."

"...Leaving? Where are you gonna go?" Robin said softly, she was so worried about him - Steve was not okay, and he wanted to travel out of town?

"I'm not sure yet." Steve whispered.

Robin realized that if Steve left town, he wasn't planning on coming back. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. 

"...If you want, you and Whistler and miss Vicky.. you could come and live here.. you'd have plenty of space.." Steve said quietly, "You'd be away from your Daddy too.."

Robin loved this man with her entire soul, he was so good - and sweet, and he'd only ever done good for her. "...I.. don't know what to say, I.. don't want you to leave, but..."

Steve whispered, "I'd be happy if you were here looking after it, I know its a shit hole but it's .. my shit hole.."

"I'll take care of it for you Chief.." She said softly, "...You will come back?"

He looked at her and whispered - "I.. I'm not sure about that Darlin'."

Steve stood up slowly, and Robin helped him get some soft sweatpants on - she whispered, "Steve.. did... Eddie do this?'

He muttered, "It don't matter none - okay.. it don't matter.. I.. don't wanna talk about it.." Steve said softly, "I.. just.. can't."

Robin whispered, "Okay... do you want me to make you something to eat?"

Steve shook his head and he said softly, "I .. don't think I can eat anything - I.. just wanna sleep."

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" Robin gently stroked his hair out of his face - "I... I'm really tired." Steve whispered - his eyelids already closing.

Robin let out a soft little breath, and she left the room - but she left the bedroom door open a little. She then cleaned up the bathroom and the rest of the house - truly worried and scared - Did Eddie hurt Steve? The thought of it made her feel sick to the stomach - she'd been so wrong about the older man, and had thought he was a nice guy - but what kind of a monster would hurt - and rape someone they cared about?

***

Eddie was in his bed - he couldn't sleep - he was on edge and out of control and he didn't know what the hell to do with himself. He just - had seen red, he couldn't - didn't want to think about what he'd done to Steve. How badly he had hurt him, at the time he hadn't given a shit about it. But now - alone with his thoughts, he'd realized how completely out of line he was. 

His obsession had driven him over the edge - to the point of hurting Steve physically. Something that he would most likely never forgive him for. And who would blame him.

But Eddie was a mess because he missed him - missed Steve desperately and wanted to go to him, wanted to take it all back and fix it - change it. Get his sweet Boy back. He wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to though. 

Eddie had just got so angry and the thought of Kaj touching him, being inside him - the thought of it made Eddie feel irrational - jealous - he'd never felt so out of control in all his life. Steve was his. He's mine.

He had to apologize, he had to fix it - Eddie had to get Steve back, because Eddie loved him and didn't think he could live without him again. 

But he had done something terrible, and now he didn't know what to do. Would he even be able to convince Steve to let him near him again? Would His sweet boy allow it? Why.. had he let Kaj fuck him in him the first place? None of it made any sense at all. 

He'd said he didn't want anyone but Eddie, and ... then he changed his mind?

Ever since the morning after Steve had gone to that goddamn house in Birdland - everything had become chaotic and messy. 

Eddie breathed out sharply, he felt sick to the stomach - out of control, and he just wanted Steve back in his arms he .. needed him. Eddie couldn't sleep - he didn't care what time it was, he needed to see Steve. He got his keys, and just pulled on a sweater, he didn't get dressed - he just stayed in his pajama bottoms and then got in his car and headed for Steve's place.

I need to try fix this, what the hell have I done.

Chapter Text

It was raining heavily, the sound of it was deafening - but it drowned out his thoughts. It was drowning out everything in his head - around him, blurring it out. He had the windows opened the curtains was whipping around wildly and Steve was just staring into space, not moving - he didn't want to, maybe he couldn't.

Robin had finally given up trying to coax him out of the bedroom, he'd asked her to leave him alone - and reluctantly the day before she had left. He'd told her that he'd call her when he was ready to leave town and she could move in. He just wanted to be by himself. Steve didn't leave the bed - he didn't know what the time was, what day - Robin tried to get him to eat, but Steve just wasn't interested.

He pulled himself up slowly, and just sat on the edge of the bed his hair falling down around his face and hiding it - Steve slowly pulled himself up and he made his way out of his room and down the hallway. He froze up at the knock at the front door. Steve had been going to get something to drink - but now he was just frozen in place.

He just stood in front of it, it was locked - and he knew without opening it - who was on the other side. Steve breathed out harshly, and stayed frozen in place. "Stevie? I know your in there... please.. let me in.." Eddie's voice was soft, he was pleading. Steve bit down hard on his fingers, tears spilled down his cheeks - "Please.. Stevie.." Eddie knocked again, and Steve knew he was crazy, he was crazy because he shouldn't open the door.

His hand shook, as he opened it but left the chain on.

"Stevie .." Eddie was peering at him through the small crack, the light from outside - was too bright and Steve looked wild-eyed, scared as he peered out- his scent was heavy with fear and he wouldn't look at Eddie, he just whimpered -"G-go a-away... go away.." Eddie felt sick, he couldn't see Steve properly but he knew he was still hurt - he hadn't healed himself. "Let me.. in?" Eddie pleaded softly, and Steve just peered out at him, the inside of the house was so dark - that Eddie couldn't see much inside.

"G-go a-away." Steve said again and then he shut the door.

Eddie breathed out heavily, and he knocked again - he knew Steve was still on the other side, he could smell him - he was still there. "Stevie... Baby let me in...please.. I'm sorry.."

Steve was crying on the other side, trying not too but it wasn't working. Eddie breathed out heavily, and then he shifted - he walked around to the side of the house - he looked at the rickety side door and then he let shifted his claws and slashed them through the screen door. It didn't take much for him to get the door open, it was a rickety worn down piece of crap. He'd have to board it up later, the point was he got into the house.

Even the kitchen blinds were shut. Steve had blocked out every scrap of light that he possibly could - he'd barricaded himself up in the dark.

Steve was laying on the floor in front of the front door, curled into a fetal position - just staring into space. He had his hands covering his head after Eddie had crashed his way into the house, he'd scared him all over again.

"Stevie.." Eddie whispered as he laid down on the floor right beside him. "I'm...sorry, I'm so sorry that.. I h-hurt you.. I.. I didn't m-mean to."

Steve's eyes shifted to look at the ceiling as he said almost inaudibly, "It.. doesn't anymore."

"What doesn't.." Eddie's voice was soft, he shifted a little bit closer - "Stevie."

Steve's eyes closed, "It doesn't hurt anymore - I can make it not hurt, just... push it away.. push it away till it feels empty - till I... feel empty." He was whispering it - and Eddie said quietly, "Stevie - I...I'm sorry I hurt you please.. you.. you need to heal it."

"No! No you .. you get away.." Steve hissed at Eddie, eyes wild and panicked - "I don't want too." He backed up into the corner - letting out a sob as he was clearly still in pain - "..I should have... just.. just died.. it would.. I would be better off dead.." He was muttering softy, "Dead.. by a cat.. claws in me.. It'd.. be better.. it would."

Eddie knelt in front of Steve and he said hoarsely, "Stevie... my sweet baby, let me help you.. please.." Steve slapped Eddie's face - "No.. no!" Eddie curled his arms around Steve's wrists and he whispered against his face, "Stevie.."

Steve breathed out shakily, "No.. no I don't want to heal it, I deserve it.. deserve to be in pain.. I'm a w-whore. Dirty whore.. you t-told me.." he let out a sob, "Disgusting... whore."

Eddie said hoarsely, "I .. didn't mean it I was so angry, I... I was just so angry because.. of..."

'I let him fuck me - I did.. but.. I.. had to h-heal it.. got me the cc-cat.. claws in me.. ripped me apart.." Steve was gasping for air and Eddie's eyes were wide - "What? W-what are you talking about Stevie.."

Steve was breathing harshly, "...I.. c-couldn't heal, was going to die... stupid stupid whore - shoulda just.. died.. shoulda died.."

Eddie scooped Steve into his arms, and Steve started screaming - but Eddie didn't let go.

It was a full on meltdown from Steve - the younger man screaming bloody murder at being touched. Eddie carried Steve into the bedroom - and then he said softly "Hush Stevie, it.. I'm not going to hurt you, I ..swear.." He laid Steve down in the bed.

Steve buried himself under the blankets - hiding and Eddie could hear him sobbing, as well as making strange little hiccup noises - Steve was doing his little clicking thing he did with his tongue too and you couldn't actually see where he was under the blanket.

Eddie sat on the floor and Steve was staring at the wall behind him. He said shakily - "...You h-hurt m-me.." His eyes closed and Eddie said hoarsely - "I.. know, I.. I'm so sorry Stevie.."

Steve whispered, "I...I.. made you get angry.. I.. wanted.. you to get angry.. I.. didn't t-think you.. would..." He let out a sob and then rolled over so he wasn't facing Eddie anymore.

Eddie breathed out slowly, and then he crawled across the floor he slid into the bed with Steve and murmured, "I.. you wanted me to get angry? I... Don't understand."

"I.. felt ...bad because...I liked it.. him fucking me, it was wrong but I still liked it - and.. I knew if I told you, I knew you'd get angry, I knew you would..." Steve let out a soft whimper - tears in his voice, "...I got attacked by a cougar.. big.. fucker...'

Eddie gently stroked his fingers down the bumps of Steve's spine - "D-don't.. t-touch me.." Steve said shakily, "d-don't...touch me Eddie.." He whimpered, and bit down hard on his lip, Eddie's voice was soft - husky as he murmured, "...Were... you dying?"

"Y-yes.." Steve whispered back.

Tears blurred Eddie's vision and he breathed out heavier, burying his face in against Steve's hair - "You let him ... to trigger healing."

"Doesn't matter anymore." Steve whispered.

Eddie closed his eyes, and he said quietly - "It does though, it does matter - because.."

They both were quiet and Eddie felt even worse now, that he'd lost control so badly - that he'd hurt Steve. He just didn't know what to do. Did he want me to hurt him, to punish him?

Eddie had tears sliding down his face and he said hoarsely, "I.. love you I never wanted to hurt you. I... turned into a fucking monster." He breathed out harshly, and Steve shifted - he was looking at Eddie, and then he whispered, "...We are though, we are monsters - you're a monster, and I'm a monster..."

Steve looked at him from under his lashes, "I...am a whore.. I deserved you hitting me, beating me - I deserved it."

"No.. no you didn't I shouldn't have lost my temper, I just... I.. couldn't stand...it." Eddie's voice was rough, he breathed out harshly - and Steve whispered against his mouth, suddenly a lot closer - "I.. knew you would get angry, its why... I told you.."

Eddie breathed out against Steve's mouth, "I... I don't want to hurt you, why would you...do it, say it.."

"So you'd hurt me.." Steve whispered, and he licked Eddy's tears away - making him shiver. "I.... wanted to hurt you too, I don't know why... I don't know why.." He whispered, and Eddie shivered as Steve licked at his mouth, Eddie's tongue  flicked out and then they kissed. 

Their tongues met and Steve moaned softly in his throat, kissing him slowly - Eddie kissed Steve possessively, but took his time. Every stroke of their tongues, Eddie sucked on Steve's bottom lip - he bit soft and deliberate with his teeth - the both of them breathless when Eddie pulled away. A wet slither of saliva between them and Steve was chasing for more - whimpering softly. Eddie pulled back and he breathed out heavily.

Steve's wolf eyes burned bright, the gold shone like radiant liquid pools and Eddie breathed out in a rush against Steve's face. He felt anxious - Eddie didn't trust himself, not with his wolf so close - not anymore. 

Steve whispered, "Eddie.."

Eddie pushed his hair behind his ear, and he said quietly - "I... don't want to hurt you."

"You.. are you going to leave?" Steve's voice was soft, and right by his ear as the younger man pressed in close - his breath soft against Eddie's skin. 

Eddie murmured, "I don't want too.. but.. I.. I don't want to hurt you again, I don't want to lose control."

"Fuck... control, ...you.. always tell me to be myself, to be free with you." Steve's voice was soft, the drawl lazy - making Eddie ache - and Steve whispered, "I don't want you to go...don't leave me.."

Eddie breathed out heavier, turning his head - Steve murmured against his mouth, "I don't want you to go Darlin'.."

"You.. don't? You're not afraid...that I'll hurt you?" Eddie said softly, he slid his fingers into Steve's hair and whispered against his mouth, "I've.. already hurt you."

"Now that your here..." Steve murmured, he breathed out softly - "I...don't want you to leave me... do you want to leave me Eddie?" Steve's eyes were full of tears.

Eddie breathed out and he whispered, "No... no I don't, I don't want to leave you."

"I'll be a good boy..." Steve whispered, his tears slid down his face and he pushed Eddie back against the bed, Eddie's heart was hammering his chest, and Steve said softly - "I'll be your good boy.."

Steve let out a soft, dirty little moan - and Eddie let out a heavy exhale, "Fucking... Jesus." He dragged the word out, Steve was sucking against his stomach - but he'd already tugged Eddie's pajama pants down, Eddie's cock was hard and leaking. He stared down at Steve, who was holding the base of his cock.

"I just.. want a little taste.." Steve whispered, staring up at him as he licked the tip of his cock - Eddie moaned huskily, "Stevie....you don't have.."

"I want too.." Steve said in a soft voice, licking again and then he sucked Eddie's cock into his mouth - his hair brushing against Eddie's skin and Eddie growled out huskily - "Oh... that.. your such a good boy.. Stevie.." He curled his fingers - into Steve's hair, moving it so he could watch him - could see Steve suck his cock.

Steve moaned softly, and he kept his eyes on Eddie - they weren't gold, but their chocolate-honey color - and Eddie murmured, "So.. fucking pretty, my sweet Baby.." 

He breathed out heavier - Steve bobbed his head, his eyes fluttering closed briefly - and then opening again and Eddie moaned as Steve stroked his fingers - feather light against his thighs, then back up - he was using both his hands to hold onto Eddie's hips, and then he took Eddie's cock all the way in - as he hallowed out his cheeks and relaxed his mouth.

"You... yeah, keep your eyes on me." Eddie's voice sounded wrecked - as he slid his fingers into Steve's hair, he rocked his hips, just a little - and Steve moaned around him - but Eddie said huskily, "Stop... stop Baby.." 

Steve pulled back, breathing in soft little breaths - and Eddie said huskily, "I... don't... not yet.."

He pulled Steve in closer and kissed him, Steve moaned softly - and Eddie brushed his lips against the bruises - Steve let out a soft, tiny little whimper - tears silently moving against his cheeks and Eddie whispered, "I... am so sorry that I hurt you, that...I.. did this." Their eyes met, Steve's were gold again and Eddie's were red. Eddie watched as the bruises faded - as Steve healed, and it made Eddie feel even more pain, that he could heal and actually hide the damage he'd done.

It didn't make Eddie feel any better.

Steve whispered, "You didn't want to come in my mouth?" He shivered and Eddie gently stroked his fingers against Steve's cheek, Eddie said softly, "I just want to hold you, we... we don't have to.." He was cut off by Steve kissing him hungrily, and shifting so Eddie was laying on his back.

"...Don't you love me anymore?" Steve was staring down at him, and Eddie murmured - "You... know I love you, you know I'm always going to love you.."

Steve whispered, "I want to be your good boy Eddie.." He stared down at him, and Eddie breathed out slowly - as Steve curled his hand around his own cock and stroked himself teasingly - he was hard - painfully so - Eddie could see the precum at the tip of his cock. It made his mouth water. But Steve looked at him, his hair falling into his face again - and brushing against Eddie's stomach as he leaned in and whispered, "I'm.. not hurt anymore...'

Eddie bit his lip, and Steve said breathily - "My pussy is all wet for you Daddy.." That word - it made Eddie's cock twitch, made heart curl deep in his belly - it made him want to fuck Steve into the mattress. Steve had never called him that before, but Eddie fucking liked it. Jesus what is he doing to me.

Steve curled his hand around Eddie's cock, and then he shifted himself - placing it between his cheeks. Eddie breathed out heavily, because Steve was wet - the slick heat from his tight asshole made him crazy. He could smell him too - sweet and heady, and Steve whimpered against Eddie's mouth - "I...am so hot inside, Daddy.. fuck me."

Eddie growled against Steve's mouth, "You want that? My sweet Baby.." He licked at Steve's mouth, teasing and Steve moaned softly - "Uh-huh yeah.. yes... I want you deep inside, I need you..."

Steve let out a soft little whimper as Eddie rolled them over, and he spread Steve's legs with his own, easing his cock slowly into Steve's tight heat - the wet warmth sucking him in and making them both moan together.

"You feel perfect.." Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, and Steve shivered, his fingers curling into Eddie's hair as he whispered against his mouth, "I love you Eddie, I love you I didn't...mean to hurt you...'

"I...didn't mean to hurt you.." Eddie whispered back, as he rocked his hips - and Steve moaned softly, "Oh... oh you...feel so good Daddy.."

That made Eddie growl, deep and rumbling and he whispered against Steve's ear, "Do you want me to be Daddy, Stevie.."

Steve gasped out shakily, "Yes... yes I want you to be Daddy..." He held onto Eddie, whimpering sweet against Eddie's ear, "Mine... I want you to be my Daddy - I'll be your good Boy.."

Eddie said huskily, "My good sweet boy... you've always been mine, haven't you hmm? My darling.."

He rocked his hips, and eased out slowly - only to bury himself deeply again - and Steve cried out breathless, "Yes... yours always - you.. always knew I was yours... god...please Daddy... more.." 

They rocked together, in a slow delicious dance - Eddie memorizing every sound that he drew from Steve's mouth. Their skin sweaty, and they clung to each other, Steve whimpering as they kept pushing each other closer and closer to the edge. The pleasure was almost excruciating - Eddie drew sweet moans from Steve's lips - watching his face as Steve stared up at him, shaking apart as he came without Eddie touching him, "I... love you... I love you so much.." Steve whispered as he stared up at him.

"I love you, my darling - my sweet Baby.." Eddie murmured against his mouth, Steve whimpered softly - hold him closer as he whispered - "I want you to come inside me.. please Daddy.." 

Eddie's breath caught in his throat as he stared at Steve -  he rocked his hips, and they both felt his knot - Steve whispered, "I... want it, so.. ..always want it.." Tears slid down Steve's face - Eddie's voice was husky, raw as he said, "..You like it, my knot - you like when I have to stay.."

Steve whispered tearfully, "Of course I do, I love it - I love you.. I want you to stay.. stay here, here with me.. I.. t-told you, I've always...wanted that."

Eddie kissed Steve deeply, slowly - taking his time, and then he kissed his tears away - and whispered against his mouth, "I love you too, my beautiful Stevie - I...want to stay, always  - I.. never want to leave you.."

He licked against Steve's throat, and Steve whispered - "Am I your good boy?" 

Eddie said huskily, "Yes, you're my good, sweet - beautiful boy.." They kissed again, hungrily this time - and Steve rocked his hips, making his knot brush deep inside - against that spot - and Steve whimpered, "Fuck.. your..so deep Daddy - I'm going to cum... your gonna...make..me cum again.."

"You're so naughty, I can feel your sweet pussy clenching around me.." Eddie growled softly, and Steve whispered - "I...want you to fill me up so much It leaks out."

They stared at each other, and Eddie brushed his thumb against Steve's bottom lip - Steve sucked on it, staring at Eddie from under his lashes - and Eddie said huskily, "...You're.. not as shy...about this - its.. sexy, and... I. don't even know what you're doing to  me.."

"Making you crazy, so you'll keep....taking me.." Steve whispered against his mouth.

Eddie murmured, "Oh.. is that what it is?" He stroked his fingers down Steve's side - they both kept touching - not wanting to stop - and Eddie murmured - "....Is.. that why you told me he fucked you too.. because you wanted me to fuck you as well.."

Steve whispered, "Yeah.. uh-huh I wanted... I wanted to make you angry so you'd take me.. I... didn't think you'd hurt me.. though.."

"I'm sorry I did- I didn't mean to, I didn't mean...what I said either.." Eddie's voice got deeper, more rumbling - his wolf was itching. "I just....got possessive and pissed off."

"...I...love you.." Steve whispered.

Eddie murmured, "I love you too Stevie."

They curled into each other and Eddie murmured, "I....don't think you're a whore, I...didn't mean it Stevie." He shivered as Stevie stroked his fingers against his back - staring up at him, Stevie whispered, "...You don't?"

"No Baby... I.. was just being an asshole..." Eddie rest his forehead against Steve's and Steve murmured - "...I.. Eddie... I wanted him to fuck me."

Eddie breathed out slightly heavier, staring at Steve - "...Have you ever fucked him before?"

Steve shook his head, staring up at Eddie he whispered - "You were my first, my first everything.."

"Maybe it was because you were...hurt dying... and your instinct - your wolf knew.. so you wanted it... wanted him to fuck you.." Eddie was staring at Steve, his emotions were intense, he wanted Steve to belong to him, only him - the possessiveness, the ache - his cock pulsed inside Steve, his knot started to retract and Eddie didn't want it too, he wanted to stay exactly where he was. 

Eddie whispered "...Did you like it? Him.. inside you...did he ...did he knot you?"

Steve whimpered - as Eddie stared at him - at is words, his breath coming out in soft - breathless little pants, his hole clenching around Eddie's cock, flooding with warmth - making Eddie curl his fingers against Steve's hips and rock ingot him again as he asked if Kaj had knotted him. 

Steve felt Eddie's knot going and he was sad - he didn't want it. "N-no...Daddy..." Steve whispered.

Eddie growled - "No? No he didn't knot you..."

Steve whimpered tearfully, "No... No Daddy he didn't knot my pussy.." 

Eddie eased out slowly, making Steve whimper tearfully - "No...no d-don't leave me.." 

"I'm not... leaving you.." Eddie growled, he thrust his hips, driving his cock back in - deep into Steve's tight heat, they both could feel Eddie's cum leaking out - and Steve whimpered, "Yes.. yes fuck it  back into me Daddy.."

Eddie growled huskily, against Steve's mouth, "Such a dirty boy, fuck.. my sweet bitch - aren't you.."

Steve was shaking apart, trembling and he whimpered - "Yes.. yes your dirty bitch...I'm .. oh.. I want it.. I want it...so bad.."

Eddie eased out and then he flipped Steve onto his tummy - Steve whimpered breathlessly and Eddie growled against his ear - "Is this what you want... hmm.." He curled his fingers into Steve's hair, gripping it as he pushed back into Steve's heat, and then he started pounding into him - hard and fast.

Steve was a wreck beneath him, crying out and whimpering tearfully - "Yes.. yes.. yes... fuck me.. fuck my pussy Daddy!" 

Eddie could see his cum leaking out as he pounded his cock into Steve - Steve's hand was holding onto Eddie's where it rest against his hip - Eddie let go of Steve's hair and he gripped his hips with both hands, moving slower as Steve laid down his face against the bed - as he moaned sweet breathless moans - begging and sobbing for him. 

Steve curled his fingers into the sheet, and he clenched tight around Eddie as he came against the bed - Eddie growled against his ear, and then he pulled out - coming against Steve's back  he breathed out heavily, rubbing it into Steve's skin, and then he lifted Steve up, holding him flush against his body. 

They both breathed together, and Eddie felt Steve shaking - his entire body trembling. Steve's cum was everywhere and Eddie murmured breathlessly, "Look at your mess."

Steve said breathlessly, "I...can't help it." Eddie tilted his head just a little - and licked into Steve's mouth, making them both moan. 

Eddie whispered, "My sweet Baby.." 

Steve whispered back, "I love you Eddie... I love you so much, don't... leave me.." He whimpered - "Please.. please don't leave me.."

Eddie's voice was husky and soft as he said, "I won't.. I promise you I won't.."

He cradled Steve in close, and Steve just stared up at him - sliding his fingers into Eddie's hair. "Do you want to have a bath, hmm? I'll clean up, make us something to eat?" Eddie murmured softly against Steve's mouth.

Steve just nodded, but he whispered - "I want... you to .. with me.." He nuzzled his nose against Eddie's.

"Wanna have a bath together?" Eddie asked, and Steve whispered - "Uh-huh yeah.. hmm.. you and me.."

Eddie murmured, "Yeah we can do that..." He just stared at Steve quietly though - his fingers gently stroking his face - and Steve whispered, "...What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing at all - I just... wanted to look at you." Eddie murmured. 

"Oh.." Steve whispered, his face pink as he blushed - looking at Eddie from under his lashes. 

"You stay here for a moment, I'll go run the bath.." Eddie said softly - and Steve nodded yes - but he pressed in closer, not quite ready to let go - and Eddie murmured, "My Darlin, you have to let go..."

Steve whimpered softly, "I don't.... wanna." 

Eddie's hands stroked Steve's belly, and Steve whispered - "I don't want you to let me go... I don't want you too.. Eddie!" He suddenly let out a soft, tearful sob and Eddie shifted them, scooping Steve into his lap he just curled his arms around him and held him in close.

"It's alright Stevie... I'm right here, I'm not letting you go.." Eddie murmured, as he rocked Steve in his arms.

Steve cried softly, and buried his face in against Eddies chest, then his throat - arms curled in around him and he pressed in closer. Eddie just held on, and he said softly - "Bath later?"

Eddie's reply was a soft tearful whimper, and Steve holding him tighter. "Hmmm okay sweetheart, its okay.." Eddie murmured softly, his own eyes were stinging with tears - and he held onto Steve as he pulled the sheet off the bed, and threw it into the bathroom. He climbed back in, holding Steve in his arms as he laid them both down. 

Steve just held onto him, and Eddie murmured - "It's alright, hmm... my sweet Baby.." He could feel Steve's heart beating erratically, and the way he was trembling. Eddie curled a blanket around them both and he whispered, "We'll stay here together, I'm not leaving you sweetheart." 

Eddie felt the warmth curling around them under the blanket - the sweet scent of Steve all around him. The shaking of Steve's body easing as he calmed down, but Steve didn't let go - he held on just as tight, and Eddie just kept him in his arms, he felt Steve's body relax - his breath softer, he felt Steve fall asleep in his arms - and Eddie still didn't let go. 

He didn't fall asleep, not straight away - he wanted to make sure Steve did first - that he was safe and content in his arms. Eddie's fingers gently stroked down Steve's back as the darkness of night crept in - and Eddie finally let his eyes close. 

Chapter Text

Eddie sat still, calm - his hands in his lap as Robin sat across from him - she was uncomfortable as she said softly, "Steve, I.. don't think that this is a good idea.."

Steve said softly - "But its okay, nothing happened really, I'm fine.." He shook his head as she said, "But you were hurt.. I.. saw it, Steve.." Eddie just kept his face a mask of controlled emotion - and Robin whispered, "Can we talk alone? Just you and me..." 

Steve shook his head, "I don't think.. that's a good idea.." He was fidgeting, uncomfortable - and then he snapped at her, "Just stop it! Stop! I'm capable of making my own goddamn mind up."

She bit her lip softly, and wouldn't have eye contact with Eddie - she pushed her hair out of her face and said tearfully, "O-okay Steve, I'm sorry." Steve said, "Don't cry - I'm fine. I.. am.. really." Eddie got up and left the room, and Robin said tearfully - "He.. hurt you... he hurt you really bad Steve."

Steve shook his head, and he whispered - "I'm fine.. I.. I'm fine." She breathed out harshly, and whispered - "How... I don't know how you did it, but I saw - I know what he did.. know it I saw it.." She was struggling not to cry harder - and Steve just looked at her, and he said quietly - "He.. loves m-me.."

Robin whispered, "He r-raped you Steve! He beat you... you don't do that to someone that you love." Steve shook his head, "I... provoked him - I made him angry.."

Robin just stared at Steve, tears sliding down her face and she said shakily - "He's.. dangerous. I'm so worried about you. You.. were terrified, and then you just let him back in here." Robin bit her lip as Eddie walked back into the room, and the older man said calmly - "I think you should leave now Robin, Stevie is still recuperating.. he needs his rest, after the animal attack."

She just stared at Eddie, at his cold dark eyes - and she felt sick in the stomach. Eddie took a sip of the glass of water he had, "Something you wanted to say Robin?" He gave her a soft little smirk, and Robin said softly, "No.. nothing." She let out a soft exhale, wiping her face and then she said softly, "Will you walk me out to my car Stevie?"

"I don't think so Robin, not today.." Eddie stood up, and he tugged Steve in close - stroking his fingers into Steve's hair, "You want to have a rest sweet boy?" He said softly, and Steve murmured - "I.. can walk Robin out.. it's not that big of a deal.."

Eddie gently brushed his thumb over Steve's bottom lip, and then he said softly, "Alright.." He nuzzled his nose against Steve's cheek, kissing him softly - as he gave Robin a little smirk. "Be quick then.."

Steve whispered, "Okay Eddie.." He untangled himself from the older man, and then he went with Robin outside - she curled her arms around herself - noticing that the side door was boarded up. 

Robin bit her bottom lip, and then she reached out - knowing that she was taking a risk, she interlaced her fingers with Steve's and gently cupped his face with her other hand. "Steve.." She said softly. 

He looked at her, and she whispered - "...Are you frightened to talk in front of him?"

Steve shook his head and said softly, "No?" He lowered his gaze - and Robin said softly, "Please... please don't let him stay with you - Stevie.."

He sighed heavily and then he muttered, "I love him Robin and he loves me... can't you understand that? He didn't mean to ... do it." He breathed out heavily - and then turned his head away. 

"He... hurt you!" Robin said frustrated, and tearful. "He fucking hurt you really badly!"

Steve curled his arms around himself, and he said quietly - "You don't understand.." 

Robin leaned in closer and she said shakily, "You're right I don't, I don't understand why you aren't sticking up for yourself - why you're.. what are you going to do the next time he does it? Because he will Steve, he'll do it again - and .. he'll keep doing it. He'll keep hurting you because that's what they do when they're like him - you know that, you've seen if before!" 

Steve said hoarsely, "Stop.. stop it - he didn't mean too." Tears slid down his face and he whispered, "He loves me Robin, he loves me."

"Does he? Is that what love is? Hurting someone, raping them?" She shook her head, "No honey it isn't... and you know that Steve, you need to get him away from you.. and keep him away - he's dangerous, he thinks he's won - I can see it on his face, the way he's looking at me, he is going to make you all alone so you just have him... I know it." 

Steve breathed out harshly, and he whispered - "Stop... stop it, I need him - I need him.." He looked at the house, where he saw Eddie leaning in the doorway - the older man gave Steve a soft smile, and Steve breathed out heavily, and he looked at Robin, "I.... want you to leave. I don't want you to come back.." He breathed out in a rush, it hurt to tell her that - and it hurt seeing the pain in her face. 

"I... don't want to see you again." He whispered shakily, and Robin said softly - "No.. Steve don't do this.."

"I...am.. giving up my position as Chief - I'll recommend you for it, I don't... I can't do this anymore anyway - I... I want you to stay away from me Buckley." Steve said hoarsely, "I.. want you to go now." He backed up and Robin said tearfully, "Steve... he's doing this on purpose, you won't have anyone - no friends, nobody - only him, he'll control everything that you do... don't you understand?"

"I don't want anyone but him.." Steve whispered, his eyes wild and panicked - "I just need him. I'll die without him.." 

Robin's eyes were scared, and she said softly - "No... Steve, you'll die if you stay with him."  Tears slid down her face and she said softly, "Come with me - come home with me, I'll take care of you.." She stroked his face, his tears were blurring his vision and he whimpered tearfully, "I... need him, I need him! Eddie!!"

Eddie came outside, and he walked across the lawn - he pulled Steve into his arms, and Steve breathed out harshly - clinging onto him. 

"You should leave now Robin.." Eddie said quietly, his voice too quiet. He lifted Steve into his arms and said softly, "It's okay my sweet Baby, I've got you.." He curled his fingers into Steve's hair and murmured, "Nothing will come between us... nobody.." He looked at Robin as he said it and she breathed out shakily, and then stammered as she said - "You're evil, your a sick evil monster! I can see what you are... you.. fucking monster! I'll get him away from y-you.."

Eddie just stared at her, and Steve said shakily, "No... no I want to stay with Eddie.." He breathed out harshly, and then spat out angrily at Robin - "You stay the fuck away from us.." He glared at Robin, and Eddie just gave her a little smirk, "He's quite happy where he is. As you can see." 

Robin just stared at Eddie, and she snarled at him - "You're an evil bastard! I'm not giving up on him.. Steve I'm not going to give up on you... if you need me, you know where I am.." She let out a soft little sob as she climbed into her car. 

Steve breathed out shakily, hiding his face against Eddie's throat - and he yelled at her - "Fuck off! Stop trying to cause trouble." He was struggling to breathe properly, and Eddie murmured, "It's okay sweet Baby... it's okay.." Steve said shakily, "She said you'd... do it again, hurt me.. again Eddie.."

Eddie carried Steve back inside - "You know that isn't true.." He murmured, "I... won't I swear it Stevie.." 

He sat down, and then stroked Steve's tears away - "...You believe me don't you my darling? my sweet Baby.." Eddie breathed out soft against Steve's face - and he murmured, "...She thinks I am dangerous for you... I.. didn't mean to do what I did, I swear it.."

Steve just curled into Eddie and whispered, "My head hurts.." 

Eddie murmured, "Do you want me to leave Stevie?" He stroked his fingers down Steve's back - and he whispered, "Want me to leave?" He had no intention of going anywhere - and when Steve sobbed softly, "No... no I don't want you to l-leave me... please.... please don't go..."

He whispered, "No Darling, my sweet Baby - I'm not leaving." Eddie cradled Steve's face and kissed his tears away. 

"Please... don't leave. Don't leave me a-again." Steve whispered shakily - he curled his fingers into Eddie's hair as he pressed in closer, "...I can't without you ...Eddie.." He breathed out in a rush and Eddie murmured softly, "Stevie... don't listen to her... she's a liar - they just want to turn you and me against each other, they don't understand our love. They don't understand us... they've never understood you.. either, have they my Darling."

Steve whimpered softly, "No.. no they haven't... always hurt me - .."

Eddie breathed out against Steve's face, and he whispered - "I didn't mean too.. I promise.." He gently cradled Steve's face and he whispered, "Do you want me to kill her."

Steve gasped out softly and whispered - "K-Kill her? Robin? No.. no Eddie... not ... Robin.."

"I will if she tries that bullshit again.." He growled it soft against Steve's mouth, and whispered "If she ever threatens to take you from me again... I'll rip her throat out."

Steve shivered, and he whispered - "I wouldn't leave you anyway... never Eddie.." He looked at Eddie from under his lashes and whispered, "I love you..."

Eddie scooped Steve into his arms and murmured softly, "I love you too my beautiful Boy." He held Steve close as he walked into the bedroom and then laid down with Steve. "...I love you Stevie." He whispered. Steve whimpered softly, "... I want to stay with you always, you... said you wanted me to be yours.." He whispered it and Eddie murmured, "Yes.. my husband, and I'll be yours... you still want that Stevie?"

Steve nodded and whispered, "Yes... Eddie.."

Eddie murmured, "Then we'll leave later, I have a friend in Washington - she can.. do a handfasting, we can.. be married.. you want that my Darling?"

Steve buried his face in against Eddie's neck and whispered, "Yes, yes I want that... want it so much Eddie - please... please.." He breathed out shakily, tears wetting Eddie's skin - and Eddie murmured softly, "I'll do anything you ask my darling." His voice soft, and he had tears in his own eyes. Eddie stroked his fingers into Steve's hair and the younger man said husky and soft, "I'll die without you.."

Eddie felt the shiver run through his body, and he said huskily - "Yes? Will you... my sweet love, it hurts badly... I know, I feel it too. More powerful than ever before." He breathed in Steve's scent and he whispered, "It's... stronger than it ever was.. now."

It felt like Steve was trying to almost climb inside him, pressing as close as he could - and Steve said shakily, "When you were gone, when you were gone - I... it hurt so much, so much... Eddie I.. can't.. please don't leave me again.." He was struggling to breathe, and Eddie cradling his face - breathing into Steve's mouth and then they kissed - Steve moaned soft in his throat and Eddie said softly, "I'm not leaving you - I'm going to be yours, and you'll be mine..."

Steve whispered - "You don't hate me... you don't hate me because of Kaj.." He was trembling and Eddie gripped his chin - "No... I don't hate you.."

They stared at each other, and Steve whimpered softly - "You... don't hate me.." Eddie murmured, "No my sweet baby - I love you.." 

Steve breathed out in a rush and he whispered, "...Eddie.." He curled in close and Eddie said softly, "Yes Baby?" 

Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth, "...I... think I'm going crazy."

Eddie let out a soft little rumbling growl and he murmured - "No... no your not.." Steve whispered shakily, "I ... am.. I feel like it - like I don't know what's real and what isn't anymore... you're the only thing that is real, that I need... and want.."

Steve breathed out shakily, and he whispered - "My.. whole body hurts, it aches - everywhere - it hurts so badly." Eddie said softly, "...Did it hurt more when I was gone?"

Steve nodded yes, and then he whispered - "...I wanted him to fuck me."

"Stop.. stop saying that.." Eddie said quietly, and he whispered - "Stop.."

"But its true.... I should have stopped him once I healed - and I didn't... I wanted him to do it.. I.. don't know why I .. hurt inside.. I wanted it.." Steve was panting soft against Eddie's mouth and Eddie growled softly, "....Did you want him? Or...did you just want to feel a cock inside you.."

Steve gasped out softly, "I don't k-know.." Eddie gripped Steve's throat - and he kissed Steve filthily, making Steve whimper - and Eddie yanked Steve's pants down - finding him wet, he slid his fingers deep inside his heat and fucked him with them slow and deep as he kept kissing Steve, swallowing his moans. 

Eddie growled softly against Steve's mouth, "You're so...needy aren't you, hmm my sweet baby.." He rocked his fingers - scissoring them out and Steve gasped out, "Yeah uh-huh..fuck.." He held onto Eddie's hand and rocked his hips, pushing himself down onto Eddie's fingers, pushing them deeper.

"Shameless dirty boy.." Eddie said huskily - and he sucked his fingers as he pulled them out - and Steve whimpered - Eddie pushed Steve down into the bed and then he whispered, "Tell me what you want.." 

Steve gasped out, "I want you inside me.. fuck me... Eddie..." He sucked on Eddie's fingers - eyes on Eddie's and Eddie moaned softly, "Such a good boy.." He pushed his pants down, and then curled Steve's  legs up around his waist - and he eased into him slowly, making Steve moan - loud and breathless, "Fuck.. yeah...just like that.. Daddy."

Eddie growled and kissed Steve hungrily, possessing his mouth - they kissed needy and desperate - and Eddie rocked his hips, pounding his cock deep into Steve's tight heat - he was relentless, and Steve was crying out with every thrust - his claws out - he shredded up the sheets, and Eddie stared down at Steve, who's eyes were molten gold - Steve moaned out, "Fuck... fuck Eddie! Eddie..." His eyes rolled back - and he clenched vice tight around Eddie's cock, Eddie groaned out - "That's it my angel, come for Daddy..." He let out a shaky groan as his knot formed, locking in place and Steve was sobbing - coming all over his belly and chest.

Eddie rubbed it into his skin as he kept rocking his hips, his knot filling Steve with cum as he came. Steve whimpered against Eddie's mouth, "I want your pup in my belly.." Eddie let out a deep rumbling growl, and he cradled Steve even closer, holding him in place as he rocked his hips - feeling like he was going to lose control completely - at the same time, both of them shifted into their fur - and they were still knotted together. 

I love you, I love you Eddie... my shadow.

Eddie bit down into Steve's neck. Steve bare his throat more - giving Eddie access, submitting to him willingly. 

I love you too my Angel, my moon - my stars. I'll give you anything you ask for... if you want my pup in your belly, I'll give you that..

Eddie felt Steve lick his face, and they were both licking each others. Paws and Fur and teeth and fangs - tongues licking. Eddie wagged his tail - and Steve whined softly. And then the two of them shifted back into their skin - Eddie breathed out hot against Steve's face, and Steve whispered breathlessly, "I love you.."

Eddie murmured, "I love you too Stevie.." He stared at Steve quietly, and the younger man was blushing - he nuzzled his nose against Eddie's cheek - and he whispered, "You want a pup too?"

"Yes, yes my beautiful boy.. I want that too." He whispered it against Steve's mouth, and he breathed out softly - he said softly, "I don't ... know if we actually can.. but.. we can.. try.."

Steve let out a shaky breath, tears slid down his face and he whimpered - "I want it so much.. I want your baby in my belly.." Eddie whispered, "Stevie, don't cry.." He felt his heart break, because Steve was so hurt that he might not be able too. "Don't cry my darling.." He held Steve closer, and Steve whispered tearfully, "....I want to give you a pup.'

"Hush now..." Eddie said softly, "Don't cry... don't get upset about it my angel, my sweet boy."

Steve buried his face in against Eddies neck, and he kept his legs up around his waist - "Don't leave me.." He whispered it almost inaudibly, but of course Eddie could hear him without any trouble. "I'm not leaving you my sweet Baby." He whispered it over Steve's heart. Steve curled his fingers into Eddie's hair - and Steve whispered, "I.. don't want to lose you again."

"You're not going too." Eddie murmured softly, laying his head against Steve's chest. "I promise."

Steve stayed quiet, lazily stroking his fingers - and Eddie whispered - "...Nothing will ever take me away from you.." He looked up at Steve - who was staring down at him. "Nothing Steven." He murmured and Steve whispered back, "Nothing.." Eddie stroked his fingers down Steve's side - and he murmured softly, "I'll... kill anyone that tries to take you from me.." He smirked, as Steve tightened his grip in his hair, and he said softly, "Anyone.." Steve's voice all breathy and soft. Eddie knew he loved it, loved how possessive he was. "Yes... you're mine." He murmured, kissing Steve's chest - "Your heart is mine." 

"Yours, always.." Steve whispered. 

They laid their quietly, and Eddie felt himself shiver as Steve said quietly - his voice had that darkness to it. 

"I'll destroy anyone, anything... that ever tries to take you from me.." He curled his fingers tighter in Eddie's hair and whispered, "You're mine too, mine forever and always.."

Eddie said huskily, "Always, my Darling."

Steve murmured, "Forever. I'll die to keep you with me."

Eddie breathed out softly, his eyes burning red as he met the gold molten gaze of Steve's. 

"Nobody will ever hurt you as long as I breathe.." Steve said softly, that same darkness in his voice. "I was born to love you Eddie, you're my other half, my soul - my mate... my shadow."

Eddie felt tears slip out of his eyes and down his face - Steve whispered, "My God of Death."  

"And you're my Goddess of Death and Chaos and destruction.." Eddie whispered.  Steve just stared at him - and Eddie kissed over his heart again, biting softly - Steve gripped his hair a little tighter, and whispered, "I'd feed you my heart, my Prince of shadow... If I could." He shifted up, and claimed Steve's mouth in a deep, passionate kiss - a soul kiss.

Steve curled himself around him and whimpered sweetly into his mouth. Eddie whispered against his mouth, "I'll sacrifice my offerings to you as well my love."  Steve shivered, and Eddie murmured softly - "I love you my Darling."  

Steve whispered back, "I love you too Eddie." They laid there together, quiet in the darkness - and Eddie curled his fingers, "She wanted to take you away from me." He whispered. 

"I'd never let that happen." Steve whispered. 

"Neither would I.." Eddie murmured back. "Later, we'll go to Washington?"

"Yes... tonight?" Steve whispered back.

Eddie kissed Steve softly and murmured, "Yes my Darling."

Steve whispered, "Then you'll be my husband." He shivered and Eddie murmured, "And you'll be mine." Steve curled his arms around Eddie and whispered, "...I want that so much."

"I want that too my Darling." Eddie murmured. He rest his head against Steve's chest again, and let out a soft exhale. Steve breathed out softly and whispered sleepily - "... I want your name.. I want you name too.." Eddie smiled and whispered, "Of course sweet Baby.." He felt the grip of Steve's fingers relaxing and he knew Steve was falling asleep.

Eddie kissed Steve's soft skin and he whispered, "My precious Baby... Stevie Munson.." Steve said sleepily, "I... love that so much Eddie... Stevie Munson.." He let out a soft little rumble and Eddie smiled, if he'd had his tail he would have wagged it. He rolled his eyes at himself, and then resisted the urge to laugh.

"Eddie and Stevie Munson.." Steve whispered sleepily, "..My Husband.."  Eddie said huskily, "Go to sleep sweetheart." Steve curled his fingers into Eddie's hair again and said softly, "..Don't leave, stay here.." Eddie said softly, "I will my baby."

Chapter Text

Eddie let out a soft, frustrated growl - "You can't just leave the state and go swanning off we have work to do - not to mention the fact that we still haven't got a clue where Nancy is." Jim said, and he looked at Eddie, "I'm concerned too because Steve is avoiding me - and I need to talk to him about the case."

"You're being unreasonable, I've told you - he hasn't been doing so good, very fragile right now Jim - I don't think that he's in the right head space to be working on the case at the moment." He gave the other man a dark look, and he said calmly as he could - "Just a little time off, a few days - then he'll be feeling better. I think he just needs a little rest." Eddie frowned - "You don't want to break him, surely you know that better than anyone how... he can lose himself, it... affected him a great deal -  his deputy."

The other man sighed heavily, and then Jim said - "Yeah, I.. get that but - I need him here, he's the best there is - I think I'll just go and see him." 

"I said no!" Eddie growled it out - and Jim looked at him, "Excuse me?" Jim glared at Eddie - "You said no? And since when do you speak for Steven?"

"...Since we're in a relationship, and I care about him a great deal - more than you do it would appear." Eddie cleared his throat, trying to stay calm. 

Jim looked shocked, and he said - "A relationship? With... Steven? You - and Steve?" He let out a soft laugh - "Don't be ridiculous."

Eddie was tense, his jaw tight "I'm not being ridiculous. We've been together for quite some time - another reason why, we couldn't continue to be patient and Doctor it was... unethical to say the least... we are planning on getting away for a couple of days - he needs it."

"You're actually serious.." Jim just sat down, and he shook his head - "You're... serious?"

"Yes." Eddie said as calmly as he could. He was aware of the fact that Jim was staring at him intensely - "....Where is he? Steve, I want to talk to him - he's been avoiding me, not answering my phone calls - does he know something about Nancy's disappearance?"

"What? No of course not - don't be ridiculous, why would he know anything about her disappearance?" Eddie shook his head, and he muttered - "He's ...look if you must know he had an old friend visit and it upset him, things... didn't go well - and he's not been dealing well with the stress of it. As well as what happened - finding his deputy.." Eddie lowered his voice, looking at Jim - "I... am trying to make sure he isn't completely broken Jim - so he can do his job."

The door opened, and Eddie was surprised to actually see Steve walk into the room, he'd planned on seeing Jim alone, and not expecting to see the younger man. Steve was pale, and looked tired - but he pushed his glasses up and then handed Jim two folders. 

"I've worked up as much information about the first two murders as I can.. I also found two others - that happened in Washington - Eddie and I will investigate them while we're out of town." Steve pushed his glasses up his nose, "We're going... to be gone for about four days. Maybe a little longer if we find anything with these other two cases."

Eddie just stared at Steve, who wasn't looking at him - he had his hair tied back and Jim said quietly - "Are you sure? Eddie was just.."

"I can work, Eddie's just... being Eddie.." Steve murmured "Worrying about me because he loves me."

Jim's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head and he scratched his neck. "Uh.. okay - yes well, okay."

"Try not to choke on your shock there Jim." Steve said with a snort - and Eddie smiled a soft little smile, Steve's gaze lifted and he looked at Eddie - "I.. also think you should know that I've given up the police chief job, I handed in my notice this morning - so.. I can devote more time as a consultant.. to this.." Steve said quietly, "But I won't be doing this full time like before."

Jim nodded and then he said "Steven?"

Steve lifted his gaze, just a little - "...Have you spoken to Jon?"

"Not yet, but I am going to as soon as I'm done here?" Steve's gaze met Eddie's again - and he said with fake sadness - Eddie realized what a master Steve was at manipulation - "He's... very upset, I.. talked to him on the phone this morning, hmm.." He drawled softly, "I... did try to tell him what she's like Jim - I tried to tell all of you what she's like... she's a whore.."

"Steven... we don't know what she did." Jim said sternly.

Steve snorted, "Course we do - she ran off with someone else - got bored with Jon, got cold feet... moved on to someone else.." 

Steve was smirking - and Eddie got a little kick of heat in his belly. 

"Stupid whore - she's probably already lured some other poor bastard to her nasty cooch." Steve muttered darkly.

"That's enough of that Steven, you shouldn't say things like that." Jim said quietly - but he was scratching his neck. He was thinking the same thing, even if he didn't want to admit it. 

"Come now Jim... you know as well as I do - what she was like, I mean... she did try to lure you into bed remember?" Steve was saying this - as Jonathan came into the room - and Jonathan said hoarsely, "What?" He quickly left again - slamming the door behind him. 

Jim said darkly, "Jesus! Thanks.. Steven.." He chased after Jonathan - and Steve let out a small little giggle.

"You are very naughty." Eddie said softly, smiling at Steve with a soft little smile.

Steve lifted his gaze - looking at Eddie as he murmured - "Well it will give them something else to focus on instead of you and me hmm?"

Eddie licked his lips, and he said softly - "So... we can head off now... on our trip?" He moved closer to Steve, and then gently brushed his fingers against the younger man's face.

"Yeah.. mhmm.." Steve murmured softly, "I.. love you." He whispered it against Eddie's mouth, and Eddie said softly - "I love you too my Darling boy. You're very clever... I like watching you at work.. knowing you're lying and manipulating.." 

Steve smirked and whispered, "Yeah? Does it make you all hard.. and excited?"

"Behave yourself Steven." Eddie said softly, but he kissed Steve's throat, over his pulse and then whispered - "Yes it does.. I love it, knowing that only we know the truth."

"I like it too.. this is fun, I like fucking with them.. maybe a little too much." Steve murmured it against Eddie's mouth, and he curled his fingers around Eddie's tie. 

They were in the middle of a passionate kiss, when the door opened and Jim came back into the room - "Steven... Jesus Christ.." Jim muttered, and the two of them pulled away - Steve's face was flushed as he blushed and he let go of Eddie's tie, smoothing it back down and Eddie cleared his throat - "I need to go and pick up some papers from my office.. I'll be back soon Darling." Eddie said softly, curling his fingers against Steve's cheek briefly - and then he gave him another soft kiss before he left the room.

Jim just cleared his throat, and Steve pushed his glasses up his nose again. 

"I... uh I'm.. happy for you, however... I think you should be careful Steven." Jim's voice was calm, and soft - and Steve tensed up, he said cooly - "What are you talking about?"

"I just think you should be careful, you're still only young - Edward is... well he's a bit older than you and I just don't want you to get hurt is all... he seems a little obsessed with you?" Jim looked at Steve, and then he said, "I think maybe he has been the entire time he's been here to be perfectly honest with you - I.. shouldn't tell you this, or.. hell even show you - but I feel like we've known each other for a long time, I feel like.. you're my other son.." 

He opened his briefcase and then he handed Steve a brown folder. "It's his report, his recommendation - I think he's been trying to isolate you. Perhaps you should think carefully about how close you get to him, its all I'm saying." Steve breathed out softly, he wasn't stupid - and Jim wasn't stupid either - his hands shook as he took the folder, and he whispered - "Thank you Jim."

The older man gave him a nod, "I talked to Jonathan, he's a bit of a mess - he.. probably could use a friend." His voice soft. 

"I'll.. go and talk to him." Steve said softly. He lifted his gaze - actually meeting Jim's for the first time since they'd known each other. Jim let out a soft exhale - and he said softly, "I care about you a lot Steven, you're a good man, please - just... look after yourself, you've been through enough bullshit in your life, you don't need anymore.. I'm always here, me and Joyce - maybe.. don't be so quick to give up your job in Woodville.."

Steve just stared at Jim, and then he said softly - "I'll think about it. Can... you do me a favor?"

"Of course." Jim said quietly, closing his briefcase up.

"Can you assign him - Eddie... assign him another job - I want to go to Washington on my own." His voice was steady - too calm, and then he added - "Actually I'd like to take Jon with me.. we can catch up, I can talk to him about Nancy - he can take photos of.. these new crime scenes.. can you do that? I don't want him to think it was my idea though, can you do that for me? Please.." He softened his voice - his eyes welling up, "Please.. Dad?"

Jim's dark scowl he always had, softened - and he said softly, "Of course I can Stevie.. I'll give him another case here to work on with me, I'll do anything for you - you know that kid." He reached out and gently gripped Steve's shoulder, patted it gently and Steve said softly, "Thank you... means a lot to me." He had his sad soft face - and then just to make Jim feel like he was really meaning it - Steve carefully gave the older man a hug. It just about killed Steve to do it - but it was short and brief and Jim said softly, "You'll have to come and have dinner at the house - Joyce really misses you Stevie."

"I will, when I come back.." He whispered it and then he pulled back. He lowered his gaze, clutching the folder in his hand - he held onto it tightly - his jaw tight as he left the room - Steve locked himself away in a small office - his hands shaking as he read through the report.

Eddie had lied to him - it was full of a bunch of the usual crap that most head doctors had said about him over the years. That he was dangerous, unstable - that the work he was doing would lead him to have a potential mental breakdown. Eddie had gone one step further than the last Doctor Steve had seen, by saying that Steve could and would benefit from a stay in a psychiatric facility if he couldn't break himself out of his psychosis. 

Tears burned Steve's eyes and he whispered - "You lying bastard." 

Eddie had also written that Steve lived in a fantasy world and had severe abandonment issues - and that he wasn't able to recollect or tell the truth about his childhood or what happened to him. That he believed it was possible that Steve had a form of identity disorder. It felt like a complete betrayal - that everything Eddie had told him was a lie. He had the truth written in front of him - Steve breathed out shakily, and he felt sick in the stomach. 

He thought about what Robin had said, that Eddie had hurt him and would keep doing it. That he'd isolate him - tears spilled down Steve's face and he whispered, "Oh.. god.. she.. was right.. I'm... such a fool." He wiped his face - and then put the folder into his messenger bag. Steve just sat there quietly for a few moments - and then he took his glasses off, he crushed them in his hand then dumped them in the trash can. Steve's jaw was tight as he got up and left the room - he saw Eddie in the hallway, talking with Jim.

Steve just stared at Eddie with a dark look on his face - and then he turned and walked in the opposite direction - he saw Jonathan and called out, "Jon! Wait?"

The other man looked tired, and broken - and Jonathan said softly, "...I know you hated her but.. I still loved her Steve - I.. how could she do this."

Steve said softly, "I'm so sorry Jon.. really, did.. Dad talk to you? About coming to Washington with me?"

Jonathan nodded and he whispered, "I can do that.. help get my mind off.. things - even her Mom thinks she ran off with another guy." 

Steve said softly, "I...I'm sorry." He wasn't really, not at all - but he was able to pretend he was. Jonathan rubbed his eyes, and Steve said quietly, "I have to go home and pack some things, do you need to do that too?"

Jonathan nodded, and he said - "Yeah.. I yeah." 

Steve said, "I also have to go and speak to Robin, my deputy - but - we can take my car if you want? Meet me at home in an hour? We can leave then?" He gently brushed his fingers against Jonathan's and the other man gently squeezed his, "Yeah okay, sounds good." Jonathan gave Steve a smile, and Steve said softly - "We'll have fun, or try too hmm? Not just all work - maybe we can go see an art gallery or something - you like that boring shit." He smirked and Jonathan actually laughed - "Last time we went to one.. so did you remember?"

"Lies... I hate that boring crap.." He drawled lazily but then he reached out and pushed Jonathan's hair out of his face - he leaned in closer and whispered - "You were too good for her anyway Jonah.." 

Jonathan said softly, "You think so hmm?"

"Definitely, I know so.." Steve smiled softly and then he moved his hand away, but Jonathan caught it - and held it as they walked down the hall together. Steve didn't pull his hand away, he knew perfectly well that Eddie was watching, and he wanted him too - he wanted him to feel the sting, he wanted him to hurt. 

You lying sack of shit. Writing that bullshit about me and lying to my face. You wanna fucking play with me - I'll play the fucking game you asshole.

Eddie was still staring as him and Jonathan left the building - not happy that Jim had given him a different job to do, and there was nothing he could do about it. Steve didn't even care at that point - he just kept thinking about everything that had happened - the lies that Eddie had told him to his face. The fact that he'd hurt him - it kept replaying over and over in his head and when Steve was driving to see Robin, he started to shake - the fear and panic kicked in.

By the time he got to the office - Steve felt sick, he felt like he couldn't breathe properly. 

He made it into his office and sat in his chair with his arms curled around himself - pale and shaking with panicked eyes. 

Robin knocked softly on the door and then she slipped inside - "Stevie?" She said softly, Steve looked at her - his eyes full of tears and he whispered shakily - "You were right Buckley - you... were right... he's dangerous and I.. I don't know w-what to do anymore.."

Her eyes filled with tears and she came and knelt down - he slid to the floor with her and he whispered tearfully - "He's written such horrible lies about me. Bad... shit.." He fished the folder out and gave it to her. Robin's hands shook as she read it - her eyes full of tears and she whispered, "He's... been manipulating to get you isolated from the beginning." Steve nodded and then he whispered shakily, "It's... worse than that.."

She stared at him and he whispered, "I... c-can't tell you, but its worse than t-that.. and I don't know what to do.." He breathed out harshly and Robin curled her arms around him - rocking him as she whispered, "We'll do whatever we have too Stevie.." He said hoarsely, "You need to be careful... promise me.. no.. I want you to come with me, me and Jon are going to Washington - come with me, I don't want you here... not when I'm not here? Please?"

Robin whispered, "Okay, yeah I can do that... I.. you're scared he's going to try and hurt me?"

Steve nodded and then he whispered - "He's.. a monster, he's a horrible monster - and I'm scared because I... hate him but I love him... but I... know he's dangerous - but I'm addicted to him and I don't want to be... but he's going to keep hurting me Robin.. I know it.. and I'll let him - I can't be trusted with him.. I... don't know what to do?" 

Robin gently cradled his face - and she said softly, "You have to be strong - you have to fight to stay away from him Steve.. he's like a bad drug - a bad drug you just have to purge him out.. yeah? A bad drug - you.. can find a new man.. someone better that will treat you right.. maybe not now but later..." 

Steve whispered, "I... feel sick - I feel sick Robin.. he wrote that.. about me he lied to me. He... he likes to play games with me. But.. but then I like the games - oh I'm sick, I'm so so sick.." 

Robin stroked her fingers through his hair and she whispered, "I was so fucking scared to leave you there with him. I'm sorry for swearing." 

"You can swear, I think we're okay to fucking swear." He said softly, and he wiped at his face breathing out shakily. 

"Why....did he hurt you." She asked softly, stroking his face.

"....I.. did something I shouldn't have done." Steve said softly, "I... had sex with someone, a... friend of mine that I've known a long time." He bit his lip and then whispered, ".. I.. don't know why I did.. I just.. I don't know why I even told him... and then he ...got really angry." 

"It's still not okay what he did Steve." Robin said quietly, "It's not okay - not under any circumstances is that okay." She gently stroked his cheek, "How.. why are you all healed up though."

"I...don't think you wanna know the answer to that Darlin'." He whispered, lowering his gaze and Robin said softly, "Are you magic?"

He looked at her and she whispered, "Was it the aliens?" She smiled softly and Steve smiled back, the two of them giggling - "Mhmm.. the aliens.." Steve whispered, and then he let his eyes turn gold.

Robin let out a soft little breath and she whispered, "Oh... oh my goodness.. are you.. when he said an animal attack - is he.. like you."

Steve nodded and Robin whispered, "Are you a were creature like in the movies?"

"No I'm a wolf - wolf not a creature like in the movies." Steve said softly, "But a proper wolf. I.. can look like other things too, but mostly just a big black wolf. My.. friend Kaj is like us too - hmm." He let his eyes close and Robin said softly, "I won't tell nobody, I promise." 

"I know you won't." Steve said softly, "It's how I healed so fast." Tears slid down his face and Robin whispered - "But you still know what he did. I still know what he did... Did you tell your friend.. you tell Kaj?"

Steve shook his head, "Nuh-uh.. no I.. can't." He whispered. 

"Maybe you should, maybe... he can keep you safe from him... he's a monster Stevie.." Robin whispered - "He scared me, he kept smirking at me.. like he knew he was winning - I... wanted to smack his face." 

Steve said softly, "I.. want you to promise me you'll stay away from him, please Robin - just... don't, don't because I'm scared he'll hurt you." He held her hand in his and whispered - "I don't want him to hurt you.." 

"I will, I mean I'm not going to go looking for him." Robin said softly, she held his hands up to her mouth and kissed them softly. "I want to keep you safe too, I.. know I'm not like you.. but I'm handy with a gun.." 

"He wanted me to marry him in Washington." Steve whispered, "I was.. going to." Tears burned his eyes and Robin whispered, "Oh Stevie... I'm so sorry.."

"I'm a fool." He said hoarsely, "I'm... the biggest fool there is, I'm so broken and desperate I actually... believed that I could be loved."

Robin said softly, "You can be loved, loved the right way... I swear it." 

Steve shook his head, and he murmured softly, "I ...don't think that's really true, I'm... not the kind of thing anyone would.. love. Only a monster can love me." 

Robin stood up, and the took Steve's hands - "Well I must be a monster then, because I love you - I love you very much, and I won't let him hurt you ever again." She said softly. "You're my best friend in the whole world Stevie Black."

Steve let out a soft breath, and then he whispered - "Then I should start by telling you that my name is really Steve Harrington."

She smiled softly, and whispered back - "Okay Stevie Harrington, Steve Black - Steve Whatever the hell you wanna call yourself. Point is I don't much care. You're my best friend, and I love you. We'll get you through this. Lets start by going to Washington?"

Steve nodded and then he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and he whispered - "You're my best girl. I love you too Robin." She snuggled her face I against his chest and there was a knock at the door - "Uh Chief.. Robin - sorry.." Enid, Steve's secretary said softly, "Just thought I'd let you know that I didn't hand in your paperwork like you asked me too.. sorry I forgot."

"Don't worry about handing it in Miss Enid.. you can.. set it on fire.. I'm gonna stay - but.. we're going out of town for a few days - you'll need to direct anything local to Tommy." The older woman smiled at them both, and she said "Sure thing Chief.." She looked at them both, "Are.. you two?" Robin blushed and Steve held her  a little tighter - "We would appreciate it if you didn't tell nobody Miss Enid.." She nodded and then zipped her mouth, "Your secret is safe with me Chief."

When she'd left, Robin looked up at Steve - "...Stevie?"

He muttered softly, "We don't want anything getting around town - you're a good girl, you.. you're still sweet on Vicky right? I'll be your pretend boyfriend to cover for you.. I've told you I don't want people saying awful things about you Darlin' - it ain't right.. you're my best girl, okay?"

Robin kissed him softly, and she whispered - "I love you Stevie, can.. Vicky come with us? To Washington?" 

"Sure why not.." He smiled and then nuzzled his face in her hair - she smelt like sunshine and flowers and he actually thought maybe it was a good idea to have them both with him. "We'll go and swing by your place, then pick up Vicky - then get Jonathan.. and then go to mine and then we'll leave." He murmured softly. 

"I can take a turn driving too - and I'm sure Vicky won't mind.. she really loves you too you know, she felt so awful that she upset you that weekend.." She said softly - and Steve murmured, "I'll make nice with her I swear, I'm an idiot.." Robin just brushed his cheek with her fingers. "She's sensitive like you... she understands feeling ashamed, she gets scared too Stevie." 

He stared down at her and then he said softly, "She does? That's a shame, she's a beautiful soul." Robin said softly - "So are you. I don't care what nonsense you say about yourself being wrong or bad.."

Steve just hummed softly, and then he murmured - "Lets get out of here Darlin'."

***

The four of them were on the road, the two girls were in the back - along with Robin's little dog Whistler, Jonathan was in the front passenger seat next to Steve - he was smiling, and more relaxed - laughing as the two girls teased him, and Steve was quiet - but relaxed, trying not to think to much about everything in his head. He let out a soft exhale - his fingers relaxed around the steering wheel. Jonathan looked over at him, and he said softly - "Are you okay Steve?"

"Yeah.. just tired Jonah." He replied softly, the other man nodded - and then he added, "I wish... I'd listened to you. I... wish I.." He breathed out slightly heavier and then let his eyes close. "I.. found condoms in her purse one day when I was looking for a pen... She was cheating on me man."

Steve hummed softly, and Jonathan shook his head - "I just.. didn't want to believe that she was, I... thought she loved me. The.. fucked up thing is I.. I don't even know if I really loved her." He frowned and Steve said softly, "Sometimes I think... love is an idea you have in your head.." He bit his lip, "I don't know ... I don't know what I'm talking about."

Vicky sat closer to the back of Steve and she said softly, "I'm sorry I embarrassed you honey." She very tentatively reached out, and Steve actually took her hand, kissing her fingers gently. "Don't be, I'm an idiot." Vicky blushed and she said softly, "I still sometimes put my foot in my mouth. I ... Robin told me? About what happened, I ... hope you don't mind that she did." Her big blue eyes were tearful, and she said softly, "I'm so glad you're safe Steven."

He nodded and kissed her hand again, and Robin said softly - "You're both going to make me cry, you gotta stop - you're both so pretty when you cry Jesus!"

"Robin!" Vicky giggled softly, and then curled her arms around her, kissing her softly.

Jonathan looked at them and then he grinned at Steve, "You didn't tell me your two girls were.. uh.. girlfriends?"

"You didn't ask me Jonah.." Steve laughed softly, and then he shrugged - "They're my girls. Robin's my best girl. Vicky's her lady. Behave Jonah." He tutted softly and Jonathan laughed, "Yes sir." He smirked and then muttered softly, "You're so bossy... jesus."

"Shut the hell up." Steve laughed softly, and Jonathan smiled - "Is... uh.. Mr. Creepy Munson.. him and you?"

Steve frowned and he said softly - "No." He shook his head - and Jonathan said softer - "...I didn't mean to upset.."

"Jonah... he.. no.. not.. anymore." Steve said hoarsely, his eyes were scared as he had eye contact with Jonathan - and the other man stared back at him. "Your frightened of him." It wasn't a question, and Steve whispered, "...Lets not talk about him okay?"

Jonathan nodded - and he murmured softly, "Okay..." He gently reached out, and then he just interlaced their fingers and gave Steve's a gentle squeeze - "I'm here, just remember that. Okay? I've always been here Steve, never should have let a girl get in the way of us. We're brothers, we were best friends.." Jonathan bit his lip softly, and Steve said gruffly - "Yeah we were, are? We... can be again Jon.. just.. no trying to sneak kisses or take my damn picture?"

Jonathan laughed softly, and Steve smirked - "You know I hate my photo being taken.." his voice was soft and Jonathan said - "Dunno why, you're really pretty - you take a nice photograph."

"Oh shut the hell up.." Steve growled at him - pretending to bite the air. The two girls were giggling, and Steve laughed softly - "I might let you take a photo of the four of us... if you behave yourself." He looked at Jonathan, "...One picture."

Jonathan smirked, "Uh-huh... you say one... but.." He turned around and looked at the girls, "We can convince him to take more than one right girls?" Robin laughed, "Totally - I mean look at his beautiful face you just wanna smoosh it.." She blew kisses at Steve and said, "You're just the smooshiest cutest little dumpling." 

Steve turned bright red and Vicky giggled - "I think she wants to have your babies Steve - I should be jealous - but.. shes totally right, you're gorgeous." She swooned and said, "If only we weren't all gay.. cept for you Jonny boy." Jonathan laughed and Steve was laughing too - "Oh Robin.. you want my babies?" He looked at her under his lashes and Robin was hiding her face - "Nuh-uh.. we just.. said if we had to pick someone to be a ...Daddy.. uh.. " She hid her face and Steve smirked - "Oh Honey...if you want some sperm, just let me know."

Jonathan laughed softly, and Steve chuckled - "I'm not actually joking." The two girls giggled and then Robin said softly - "Would you actually consider that one day.. if that were to ever be a thing we.. were to talk about?"

Steve said softly, "For you? Yes I'd do it." Vicky said softly, "Not even any hesitation?" Robin was just looking at Steve, her eyes teary and Steve said softly - "For you Darlin' I'd give you a kidney if you needed one - I feel like you're my family, I've told you that before - I told you that when I first met you."

Jonathan said softly, "That's really something coming from Steve, he's hard to get to under that tough shell." He smiled softly - "He really loves you Robin."

"I know he does, and I love him too - I love you Steve, and I'd happily be a mama to your babies." She whispered it but Steve could hear her just fine. And she knew it. Vicky said softly - "We'd both be Mama's to your babies." Steve let out a soft laugh, "You'd be okay with me being a crazy Daddy?"

"You're not crazy, you're special - there's a difference." Vicky said softly, and she leaned forward and kissed Steve's cheek. "Sweet little smooshie." She giggled softly and Jonathan said, "You're totally okay with the girlies smooching you and touching you, its.. .nice to see you a lot more relaxed Steve.. more comfortable." 

Steve gently squeezed Jonathan's fingers in his and he said softly - "I'm.. trying you know? I'm.. trying to be less weird about it.. am I doing better?" 

Jonathan nodded, "Yeah Buddy, much better. Hey you wanna smoke?" He let go of Steve's hand and fished out his cigarettes, lighting one up and then taking a drag - he held it out to Steve, and then he offered one to the two girls, who took one to share between them. Jonathan said softly - "Steve? Are we really going to investigate some crimes - or is there another reason.. we're going to Washington."

Steve turned his head, and then he looked at Jonathan - "...Why would there be another reason?" His voice was soft, but his eyes were intense - and Jonathan said softly, "I know how your mind works.." 

"Oh.. do you?" Steve raised an eyebrow and then smirked, "...Interesting."

Jonathan let out a soft laugh, and then he leaned in closer and took the cigarette, taking a drag - and then he handed it back and murmured softly, "...You're going there because he was going there... and he was going there because he wanted to find out something about you.. about your past."

Steve's jaw got tight - and then he murmured, "Yeah and he was taking me there for another reason and lying to me about it. He was going there because a friend of mine from my past left me something on a reservation. And he found out about it - because its in the photos you took.. that's why you know.." 

Jonathan nodded, "The necklace you always wear, the wolfs claw - its from the rez." 

Steve nodded, and he said softly - "It...was my Father's.. my real...fathers. I think maybe he comes from there Jonah."

"You never talk about that.. your real ..family." Jonathan said softly - and the two girls were quiet too. 

"They... My Father killed my Mother, and my baby sister." Steve said in an empty voice - the silence in the car was deafening - and Jonathan said softly, "Jesus Christ Steve - I'm sorry.."

Steve gripped the steering wheel tighter - "My Daddy... he used the name Crumb, but sometimes he used Black when he did... drawings.. I.. used it too.. but I don't think Harrington was really his name neither - I think that was my Mama's name... I.. don't know much about where I come from."

"And you wanna try and find out." Jonathan said softly. 

"Mhmm yeah... when you gave me those photos back... I remembered my necklace - and... when he said we were going to the reservation - I... remembered it again... he had another reason he was taking me there besides what he told me... everything with him is always a fucking mind game.." 

Steve breathed out slightly harshly, and then he pulled the car over - "Are you okay?" Jonathan asked quietly. 

"Yeah.. mhmm... I just.. need.." Steve opened the door and then he breathed out harshly and climbed out - the others were watching as Steve suddenly vomited harshly - "Jesus Christ.." Jonathan climbed out of the car - and Steve breathed out shakily - "I.. I'm okay.." He wasn't though, and Jonathan said softly, "I'll drive - have some water - just... relax for a little bit okay?" Steve nodded - and he raked his fingers through his hair, his hands were shaking. 

"Wanna come sit in the back with Robin honey?" Vicky said softly, "I'll sit up front with Jon?" Steve said softly, "You don't mind?"

Vicky climbed out and she pulled Steve into her arms, he let her and she said softly - "Of course I don't mind sweet Baby, you look exhausted." She gently stroked his hair and then said softly, "We'll help you find out what you need too, I'm good at talking to people." 

Steve said softly, "You're so sweet Vicky." She nuzzled her nose against his and helped him into the back seat, then she took her blanket and covered them both up with it. "Have a little snuggle." Jonathan handed Vicky a bottle of water and she said softly, "Small sips, not too much so you don't overwhelm your tummy."

Robin said softly, "She's a nurse, listen to her." She smiled, and Vicky said softly - "Soon as we can find a diner some place we should get some food..." Everyone got resituated and then Robin gently laid Steve in her lap, she said softly - "Close your eyes Stevie... your safe with us, get some sleep.."

Steve let out a soft breath, his fingers brushing the wolfs claw around his neck. Robin said softly, "Your hair is so soft.. Oh my god how is it so soft? Mine is like straw." 

"I used this new stuff, uh argan oil, its from Morocco." He murmured, "I'll give you some when we're back home." He let his eyes close - Robin's fingers made him feel relaxed - he could hear the soft voices of the others, and he let himself fall asleep, trying not to think about Eddie - about how much he felt betrayed... and about how much he missed him.

I hate you for making me miss you. I hate you that I love you.

Chapter Text

Steve was shivering, he pulled his sweater tighter around himself and let out a soft exhale. The girls and Jonathan were asleep, but Steve had taken Whistler outside to pee and so he could smoke.

His hands were shaking, and he was restless - he couldn't really sleep. That wasn't anything new for him though - he bent down and scooped Whistler up into his arms and then he said softly, "Sweet girl - your a good girl ain't cha."

She licked his face sweetly and snuggled into him and he smiled softly - an older lady from the motel room next door nodded her head at him and said, "Good morning son." 

"Good morning Ma'am." He said softly, and she looked at the wolf-claw around his neck - she paused - and then she said quietly, "...You a Black?" Steve blinked slowly, and she stared up at him, her brown eyes crinkled with a smile - and then she pulled her own wolf-claw out from her sweater.

"Me too, my name is Missy, I don't live on the Res not since I married my Clyde - he's.. dead and gone now though, all my kids... them too.." 

Steve said softly, "I... I'm sorry, I.. don't know? This was my Daddy's.." She looked at him, "I'm in the room next door, you wanna come have a cup of coffee with me?" Steve nodded and then he said softly, "Sure... uh my name is Steve." He smiled, shy - blushing as she gently linked her arm through his.

"Keep an old lady steady will you Steve?" They walked slowly to her room, and then inside where it was much warmer. She fished a couple of cigarettes out, and handed him one - then she lit her own.

"Old lady has to have a vice, I don't drink no more - so.. this is it.." She chuckled, and Steve let out a soft little laugh. "I'm surprised the little one likes you.." She motioned to Whistler - and then she said, "Hmm.. course you a Black - so... maybe that's why, we have a way with Dogs."

Steve let Whistler down, and she totted after Missy - following her into the kitchen. Missy set down some chicken and Whistler wagged her fluffy tail and then let out a soft little bark, both Steve and Missy looked at her and then she started eating.

"Hmm she doesn't like the food her Mama's been feeding her, upsets her tummy." Missy said softly, and Steve smiled - nodding - "I'll be sure to tell her." He said softly.

The older woman brought them both over a mug of coffee, and Steve could smell the chiccory - it made his mouth water. "Oh... real coffee.." He said softly, not caring how hot it was - he took a sip and let out a happy, soft little noise. Missy chuckled, "Hmmm you're a man after my own heart, I hate this rubbish they sell these days - I get this special from Louisiana."

They both smiled, and Missy said softly, "So your Daddy, he was a Black? What was his name?" She held her hand out to Steve, and he gave her his hand - she gently held it, "Cold hands hmm, you're shaking. You got the bad medicine.. hmm?" Steve didn't know what that meant, but she said softly - "Your sick not in balance with your Wolf. You're always fighting each other."

Steve nodded, and he said softly - "I.. don't know how to make it stop."

She patted his hand gently, hers were weathered and yet warm and gentle. Missy said softly - "I'll take you to the Res later, introduce you to everyone. You know you look like my grandson Robert."

Steve just stared at her - "Your Grandson?" She nodded, "Mhmm your the spitting image of him - he was a troubled boy, he ran off with this white girl from New Orleans Elena Harrington." Steve felt tears burn his eyes and he whispered, "That...was my Mama's name.. but I thought he was the Harrington."

Missy's eyes were all twinkly and she said softly, "You had a friend, he's a wolf too - he told you to listen for a word, put your ear to the wind - and you'd hear it, stop being afraid - you listened. Even if you thought you couldn't."

"Kaj." Steve said softly, "He... yeah he told me.. I had a dream about two friends of mine too that I haven't seen for a long time.." Steve didn't know why he was crying, but he couldn't seem to stop his tears.

Missy said softly, "You're my great grandson then.. you're a Black. You come from a long line of old Mescalito - some of our stories say that we were the first wolves to come from the Shadow place." Steve let out a soft little breath, and she smiled her eyes all twinkly - "I think you already know that story, maybe a little different but you heard of the moon Goddess Shar before."

He nodded and she patted his hand again, and then she said - "Can I give you a hug?" Missy gently squeezed his hand and Steve said softly, "Yes please."

She stood up and so did Steve, and then they hugged each other. She was so warm, and she smelt like herbs and woodsmoke. like pack. "We will get you feeling better Little Wolf." She chuckled softly, "You have found your family, I should tell you - there is a lot of us up here."

Steve said softly, "I... didn't think I had any family left." 

Missy tutted softly, "Family can be what you make on your own sometimes. But you got a big pack - they'll bring you in like a warm cuddle. You.. have your Daddy's Brothers - and his sister. They got kids, you.. should know that the Black pack is strong.. when your Daddy left, ..he probably wasn't strong enough to be out there on his own."

Steve said softly, "You.. can feel it - you know what he did."

She nodded, "Sad - he had the bad medicine in him too." Missy scooped Whistler up, and she gave her soft kisses - "We're able to talk to the dogs and the horses - nobody knows why, especially with the horses... they usually don't like wolves. But.. they like us. Your Uncle - he's a big time Horse Healer up here - he's going to probably cry when he sees you eh." 

Steve liked the soft, gentle way that she spoke - she made him feel calm and warm. He said softly, "I.. feel weird - strange." Missy chuckled softly - "Your Wolf is happy my grandson, you are home - it knows." Her eyes were teary and she  softly kissed his cheek. "I live here - I should be probably living on the res.. but I like it here." Steve said softly, "Does it cost much to stay here?"

"I get by - don't you worry about that. I can see your brain cogs turning grandson.." She tutted softly and Steve blushed, "I could.. help, I have money - if you needed a place." He said softly, and she shook her head, "No... no need for that." She sat down and she said softly, "I should get myself a little dog like Whistler." He smiled, because Steve never mentioned her name - but the little dog licked her face, and Steve let out a soft laugh. 

"Ayo She told me her name soon as she came inside. She's a cheeky little girl." Missy chuckled and she said, "Grandson your friends next door - go get them, eh they're worried you disappeared on them." Steve said softly, "They are?" She nodded - "I'll get more coffee - normal I'm guessing." Steve nodded and she chuckled - "Go get them." 

***

Robin, Vicky, Jonathan and Steve were all in Steve's truck with Missy in the back seat with the two girls. They'd pretty much been spending every moment with her - and they had all fallen in love with the tiny woman. She doted on the girls, and on Whistler - and Robin said softly, "Missy? I'd like to ask you something, I feel I need too - because.. well.."

Missy's eyes twinkled, and she said, "Yes I'll take good care of her." Robin's eyes welled up, and she said softly - "Whistlers fallen in love with you, she belongs here with you - I ... didn't think I'd be saying goodbye to her on this road trip... but.."

Missy said softly, "You can come see her all the time sweet granddaughter - you're my babies too, not just sweet little wolf." Steve blushed and Jonathan said softly, "She's just the sweetest little thing ever." Steve whispered, "I know."

"I might be old but I can hear you just fine you know... Jonah, I got the wolf ears pretty boy." She teased him, and Jonathan blushed hotly - "Sorry Missy." The older lady chuckled and she said, "It's okay, I like that you think I'm sweet, you're precious.."

Jonathan was blushing like a tomato - and Steve laughed softly. They arrived at the reservation and Steve felt nervous - but Missy curled her arm through his - and she said softly, "Don't be scared - this is your pack, your people - you belong here my Grandson."  Robin and Vicky were all teary, and Jonathan was too - Steve growled at them, "Stop it - you're gonna make me get all misty.." His voice was gruff and Missy just chuckled softly.

Steve felt Missy's warmth wash over him and she let Whistler run off - she found some little kids to play with - one of them said excitedly, "Nana Missy! I made you a picture!" The tiny girl ran up with a picture of  a big moon and then lots of tiny wolves underneath. "Oh that sure is pretty, I'll put that on my fridge Mina.. this is your cousin Stevie..." 

Steve let out a soft little noise, and the tiny girl stared up at him - her huge eyes were pretty, and she got all shy but then said softly - "Hi, you're pretty." Steve said softly, "Hi.. so are you.." She beamed at him, her two front teeth were missing, and Steve felt a rush of warmth - she reached up for him to pick her up, which he wasn't expecting - but he scooped her up anyway and she whispered, "Can I braid your hair? Oh its so soft." Steve just said softly, "Okay sure.. you can do that miss Mina."

She giggled happily, and then curled in against him - and Missy chuckled - "You have found a new best friend my Grandson.. she's like you - quiet, not a big talker.." She looked at him with that knowing look and Steve whispered, "Yeah?" Mina just looked at Steve, but then she sucked on her thumb and kept her face buried in against his hair. He felt a rush of protectiveness and he whispered, "You can hide right here Mini Mina." She let out a soft little noise and then cuddled in closer.

Robin and Vicky looked like they were going to cry with the sweetness. Steve gave them both a look and they giggled softly giving him hearts with their fingers. Missy seemed to know everyone - and everyone loved her. One lanky teenager eyed Jonathan up - and gave him a smirk - "Sup white boy.. you come to find some weed?" Missy snorted - "Get the hell out of here Issac don't make me call your Daddy." He hadn't seen her, and he said, "Missy - don't tell my Dad... please?" His face the picture of innocence.

"Get outta here.." She snickered - and then looked at Jonathan, "Unless you wanna buy some weed - his is good shit." Everyone just looked at her - and Jonathan scratched his neck - "Would that be okay?" The girls were giggling, and Missy laughed - "Don't look at me.. talk to him.." She looked at Issac - "Don't be selling him no skunk weed either Grandson cos I'll check.." She looked at Steve - "Mhmm another cousin.." 

Issac looked at Steve - and then he held his fist out for a fist bump - which Steve gave him, "Solid.. c'mon then Whitey Ford - lets go get you some killer buds." He said to Jonathan, and then he linked his arm with him - and led Jonathan off somewhere.."  Missy snickered - "I think Jonathan might have found his new best friend?" She winked at the girls and then they paused in front of a large house - "Okay Steve, my Grandson - we're going to go and visit with your Aunt Lyrena first - I should warn you all in advance - she's a hippy batshit crazy weirdo - she'll read your aura's and probably try and feed you vegetarian bullshit... you don't have to feel obliged to eat it.. watch out for anything with mushrooms - unless your fine with tripping balls."

Vicky just stared at Missy like she'd hung the moon and stars - "You are just... so awesome, I hope I'm as awesome as you someday." Missy curled her arm around Vicky and said, "Oh you will be - you have that spirit in you, come Robin - Grandson... stop trying to hide there with Mina.." They all made their way into the house - which smelt like patchouli - and weed. 

"Lyrena... Great Granny is here where you hiding?" Missy yelled - and for such a tiny woman, she had a booming voice - a beautiful long haired woman made her way through a beaded curtain. "Grammy why are you screaming like that - messing with the chill vibes..." She looked at Robin and Vicky, "So pretty - not wolves, but pretty welcome - welcome have you come for a reading sisters?" 

Missy scoffed - "No.. but they'll likely get one anyway - you kookoo bird." Lyrena pouted at Missy, "Why do you have to be so negative - the spirits are all around us Grammy you know that..." She suddenly saw Steve, and then she whispered - "Oh my... moon." Steve felt a bit strange, and Missy said softly - "Come cuddle Grammy Mina." She took the tiny girl from Steve's arms - and Lyrena stepped closer to Steve - she had eyes just like Steve's and moles dotted everywhere like him too.

"You look just like Bobby.." Her eyes welled up with tears - and she looked at Missy, then back at Steve - she did something strange though - she held her hand to Steve's face, but didn't touch it - not before she said, "Can I touch your face nephew." Steve just nodded, tears welling up in his own eyes - inside his wolf was howling - and then she touched his face and Steve started to cry.

He felt embarrassed, but Lyrena just pulled him into her arms and held him close. She smelt like ferns and patchouli - like chocolate chip cookies. "You look just like my brother, your Daddy." She said softly, Steve couldn't stop the tears, and she said softly - "Its okay, you let it all out - let it out tiny Bird." He breathed out harshly, and then she said softly - "I was there the day you were born, look.." She held out her arm, and on her wrist she had a little bird tattooed with Steve's birthdate.

"I loved you the moment I saw you - I have lots of photos, so many... It broke my heart when Bobby took you and your Mama away.." She curled her fingers into his hair, and Missy said to Vicky and Robin, "Well go visit at the cafeteria okay? Give you two some time alone.." Steve was still struggling to stop crying, and he let out a soft whimper - Missy gently cupped his face, "You are safe here - your wolf is safe my grandson. Breathe it all in - this is your pack, we are here to protect you."

Steve just stared at her - his eyes were full of sadness, but he nodded - not able to find his voice. Robin and Vicky both kissed him softly and Lyrena gave them both a soft smile. When they were alone - Lyrena said softly, "Come..." She offered her hand, and Steve took it - he didn't even hesitate. She lead him through the beaded curtain and into the living room - where there was just big soft cushions and bright colored blankets everywhere - it was the nicest room Steve thought he'd ever been in.

Her scent was so comforting, and Steve just let out a soft little exhale, she gently sat Steve down in the soft cushions - "Would you like some peach iced tea?" She asked softly, and Steve nodded - she smiled and then left the room, coming back with a big pitcher of it jingling with ice cubes and mint floating in it - she disappeared again, coming back with two glasses and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "Just made these.. go on Baby help yourself.." 

Steve took one, and bit into it - and it was still warm, the chocolate was melting and sweet - and he let out a soft little happy noise - she let out a giggle, "Hmm you have a sweet tooth." He blushed and whispered, "Mhmm.. like sweet stuff the best." Lyrena moved over to the big bookshelves and brought back some photo albums. She sat down next to him, and Steve found himself actually sitting closer - he wanted to be close to her. 

Lyrena said softly, "You're just the most beautiful sweet boy - my heart is breaking every time you look at me with those big sweet eyes." 

Tears welled up in his eyes again and Steve whispered, "I...dunno why I keep cryin.." 

Lyrena gently stroked her fingers against his face, "It's because you feel how much you are loved, you are loved little Bird - when you were just a tiny Baby you'd lay right here." She held her hand against her chest. "Your little heart would beat so fast... just like a birds wing - a wolfs heart beats faster than a Human - we knew your wolf was strong - I was the one that first called you Birdy.." She opened one of the albums and took out a photo - she handed it to him - and he bit his lip, tears slid down his face.

It was a photo of Lyrena, when she was younger - her long dark curls falling all down around her shoulders - she was cradling a small boy, him - he had the same dark mop of hair but it was long - his lashes were kissing his cheeks, and he was asleep against her chest - his tiny hand against his mouth. She was cradling him like he was a treasure - asleep as she did. 

"See how beautiful you were still? You stole my heart." She said softly, "I would pretend you were my son.." She let out a soft little laugh - "When I'd go out - I'd tell everyone you were mine." She said softly, "I didn't think I'd ever see you again.." Steve's hands were shaking, and he didn't know what to say. Lyrena said softly, "I never did have any babies of my own, I think my heart was too full of love for the tiny Bird that flew away.." 

Steve just started crying, harsh sobs - and Lyrena pulled him into her arms - rocking him as she didn't say anything else - but he knew she was crying too. He was actually trembling, and she laid back, holding him in close. She opened the album up - showing him more photo's, "This is your Uncle Nate - you'll meet him later, he's a bit of a grumpy old shoe - but he's secretly a big softy, and this is your Uncle Elias, he's my favorite brother - you'll know why when you meet him." 

Steve let out a soft little breath, he brushed his fingers against a big family photo - where his Father looked like a completely different person - he looked like the photos of Steve, the ones of him with Mikey and Ghost, the one of him with Jonathan. Where he was lit up from the inside - where he was happy and light. "He... was so happy.." Steve whispered - "I... don't remember him ever being like that." 

Lyrena said softly, "Your Daddy had a lot of bad medicine - he.. was never the same after he went to war, it.. broke him - broke his mind, broke his spirit. He.. just was lost Birdy. But when him and your Mama were here... they were happy, I don't know why he decided to leave, it was a mistake - it... he should have stayed." 

Steve said hoarsely, "...Do you know why they left?" 

She said softly, "The booze... they don't let anyone drink here on the rez - he wouldn't give it up - he dragged you and your Mama out of here in the middle of the night... after he beat her.." Tears slid down Lyrena's face - "He... would .. beat her a lot.. he was a bad drunk." She gently cradled Steve's face - "I tried to get her to leave him, but she wouldn't do it... she loved him too much. Even though he was bad for her... she knew he was, but... she loved him too much."

Steve let his eyes close and Lyrena said softly, "Your Mama... she was a wolf too - did you know?" He opened his eyes and shook his head - "No... I... just thought it was Daddy."

Lyrena flicked the page of the album, and Steve brushed his fingers over the photo of Lyrena with his Mama. They were both smiling, and Steve was holding their faces with both of his hands - even as a baby he had that light inside him. "...Doesn't.. look like me." He said hoarsely.

"Of course it does Baby." She said softly, gently stroking her fingers through his hair - "That light is still inside you, that happiness - that is still there. I promise you little Bird." Steve hung his head and he whispered, "... I just... my whole life I've... been a freak.. that.. doesn't fit - doesn't belong, I don't even feel like I fit in my skin."

She shifted, her bracelets jingling as she laid him in her lap and stroked his hair. Lyrena said softly, "You were three years old when you left here Baby - you were the sweetest happiest little boy - you never stopped talking, you'd just talk about all kinds of things - and you would make up stories in your funny little way you talked." She laughed softly - "And you would get into everything you could, wanting to figure things out - your brain was so inquisitive, and you'd get so dirty! Oh my moon - the mud pies you threw at Uncle Nate's house - he'd get so mad at you but then he'd be out there making them with you. It was the cutest thing."

Steve let his eyes close and he said softly, "I... let people touch me?"

Lyrena said softly, "All the time angel, you kissed and cuddle everyone - especially Grammy missy - you would talk to her in Mescalito - nobody taught you either, you just.. knew how to speak it." Steve looked up at her, and he whispered, "I did?" She smiled down at him - "She knew who you were straight away didn't she?" 

Steve nodded and he whispered, "She felt like home - soon as she... held my hand." He bit his lip and whispered, "So do y-you.." He closed his eyes tightly, and Lyrena whispered, "Baby you are home." Steve breathed out shakily, and he curled into her more - "I.. feel ..kinda sick in my stomach.." He managed to get it out and she said softly - "Is it just a little overwhelming Baby.. I'm sorry.." He shook his head and whispered, "I don't... k-know.." 

Lyrena stroked his hair, and she said softly - "Most of us - except the elders don't know how to speak our native language anymore - just a little bit. Because you could - they gave you the claw." Steve looked at her - ".. I thought it was my Daddy's." He said softly.

"No Baby... its yours. It's sacred - you see those tiny etchings in it? They're our written language - it says kissed by the goddess, loved by the moon - Shar's shadow within." She murmured it softly, "You're a special kind of Wolf, touched by the Goddess - there's a story with our people.. you want me to tell you it Baby?" 

Steve nodded, and he looked up at her - she smiled softly - and gently stroked his hair. "So the story goes that Father Wolf was a great creator - and he had five sons they were strong and powerful - but they got greedy, and became jealous because Father Wolf - he loved Mother moon so greatly, He would never want to leave her when she shone so brightly for him. The five sons they got mean and angry and so they worked bad medicine and they cursed their Father - the barriers between flesh and spirit got broken, and the men with pale skins they worshipped the god of war named Lufren, he used the power of the wise - a twisted magick that the five sons used to curse their Father."

Steve just listened intently - and Lyrena said softly, "The pale men, and the five sons - they were split and reformed. Some stayed men - some they were half of both, half wolf/half man - and some were just wolf - shadow creatures that were lost into the fell. The five son's formed the first two great packs - one pack was the pale men, they were always the halflings half wolf - half human - bound by the Mother moon to be in that nature when her power was at its highest. Because when they cursed Father Wolf, Urfarah - they split him from his Beloved Moon Shar - She was cast into the Shadow - the moon Goddess Shar - the mother of the Shadow-wolf, that is our heritage - We aren't the pale ones, our kind aren't bound to the moon because she is our Mother. We are the Uratha, part Shadow, part flesh - part spirit. It is said that Mother Moon, Shar - was once a beautiful Woman that would come and lay with Father wolf - but that after the five sons split them up - her sadness remains up in the sky, as a reminder of the betrayal. The pale ones are bound to her cycle. Only the Uratha - her Shadows aren't."

Steve said softly, "...So.. the claw? Is.." Lyrena chuckled softly, "It is said that it is the claw of Shar's. It's been around for a really, really long time." 

He looked up at her, and she said softly, "I think its with its rightful owner, isn't it little Bird." Steve just blushed and then she whispered, "Or should I call you Little Shar?"

Steve whispered, "...I'm insane though, like.. I have weird ..dreams and.. I went back in time.." 

Lyrena looked at him quietly, and then she said softly - "You can dream walk? That's what we call it - its a very rare gift, very unusual - I don't even think there are any Elders that can do that Birdy. And.. if you have strange dreams, that isn't unusual - but they frighten you, because you get scared of so much.. don't you?"

Steve whispered, "So much, all the time.. it .. hurts my head - I.. just I've never been able to make anything stop, or make any sense.. my...whole life I've just felt like I don't fit - like I don't belong, like I d-don't know who I am.." 

Lyrena said softly, "We can do a sweat, a medicinal practice - it'll cleanse your bad medicine out, do you have someone? A wolf.. someone that you trust, that can come here to be with you in the lodge?"

Steve let out a shaky exhale, he immediately thought of Kaj - but he was scared at the same time, "Why are you frightened of this connection, he is your pack.." Lyrena said softly, "Has he ever hurt you?"

"No..." Steve whispered, "He'd die for me if he had to."

"Then I would like you to ask him to come, the ritual is a sacred one, and you need someone that is your sanctuary, safety to be with you - its a spiritual cleansing as well as a physical one - do you understand little Bird?" Her voice was soft, and she said as she gently stroked his face - "It will reconnect you to yourself, heal yourself - you won't feel the disconnection anymore. Because I think you have split yourself so completely your Wolf is lost, but even in your skin - you are lost too. Aren't you?"

Steve whispered, "Yeah... I am, I.. think I always have been - and I don't want to be anymore, I'm.. so tired of being this way.." Tears welled up in his eyes again and he let out a shaky exhale - "I.. am don't even know who I am.."

Lyrena said softly, "You will my sweet pup, you will." Steve just let out a soft little breath, and Lyrena stroked his hair - "I feel so safe with you." Steve said softly, "I...don't know if I've ever felt like this." She murmured softly, "You are safe, and my den is your home always Steven - always you might not have been in my Belly, but you are still my pup and I've always loved you as if you were - nothing will ever change that, even when the light from mother moon fades - my love for you won't." 

Steve let out a soft little whimper, and Lyrena said softly - "I will be your Mama, and take care of you if you will let me." He nodded and whispered - "Can I call you Mama?" His voice was soft, timid and Lyrena said tearfully, "Of course you can my sweet pup, you used to when you were a tiny little thing." Steve's bottom lip was quivering and he just felt overwhelmed by all the feelings he was having. "I'm..sorry.." He whispered tearfully. "Hush my sweet pup - nothing to be sorry for." They were both crying, and Lyrena said softly - "I see you met tiny Mina."

Steve looked up at Lyrena and he nodded, "Her..mother died in a car accident - shes a halfling, half Human - and half Uratha it's not known if she'll ever shift - at the moment she is too small, she has what they say autism? I think she's just special. I take care of her - because her Uratha father he left her after her Mother died - she's a sweet little pup, she liked you very much didn't she."

He said softly, "Yeah, she... wanted to braid my hair." He wiped at his face - and Lyrena let out a softly little laugh - "That's a special thing, braiding the hair - I think she's trying to claim you.." 

Steve laughed softly, "Oh?" He was fidgeting, playing with Lyrena's bracelets. 

"Yeah.. hmm we can braid it though, if you'd like that - maybe put some feathers and beads in? Like my one here look." Lyrena said softly, showing Steve the braids in the side of her head. "I have some special crow feathers I've got - would you like that Birdy?"

"Yeah.. mhmm I would like that a lot." He said softly, Steve just looked up at her quietly - and she said softly, "What is it sweet pup - you can tell me."

Steve breathed out softly, and then he whispered - "I've done bad things... really bad things."

Lyrena gently brushed her fingers over his face - feather soft, "We have all done bad things - we are Uratha.. it doesn't make you bad Birdy.." 

"It...doesn't?" He asked softly, biting on his fingers. 

"No.. I will tell you a special secret.." She whispered, leaning in closer - "Kill the bad ones.." Her eyes were all twinkly and Steve let out a soft little breath - she smiled and whispered - "They taste better." She bit the air, just like Steve often did - and seeing someone else do it? Steve let out a happy - laugh, his whole face lighting up. 

Lyrena's face lit up too and she laughed with him - "Oh... that's a beautiful sight to see my sweet pup." She said softly - her voice husky as she murmured - "It's good to see you laugh like that."

Steve said softly, "I've.... never seen anyone bite the air - I do that... and.. I just..." He suddenly leant up and nuzzled his nose against her face. 

Lyrena curled her arms around him and nuzzled him back - "You're so beautiful." She said softly - "Just wait till you put on your fur and go for a run with everyone... oh my god you're going to lose your shit.. its so much fun!"

Steve let out another laugh, and he held her tightly - they were cuddling close - when Missy, the girls and Jonathan - along with Issac came into the room. 

"So she didn't kill you with her patchouli smoke then.." Missy said with a chuckle - and Steve looked at her, "No Missy - she didn't kill me.." He held out his hand for her and Missy sank down into the cushions beside them, she pulled Steve into her tiny body and said softly, "Mesa aho nei sha waila." (Welcome home my Shar)

Steve let out a soft little whimper, and then he said softly - "Nei aho laashe ta que.. Nanny." (It's good to be home) Lyrena's breath caught in her throat - and Missy said, "Haha! Still got it .." She cupped Steve's face in her little weathery hands and said softly, "Your girls and I smoked some weed with Jonathan and Issac - we have the munchies now so we're going to eat Lyrena's cookies and watch some Cheech and Chong - We'll probably crash out here, are you okay with that my Grandson?"

Steve let out a soft laugh and he nodded, "Yes Nanny, m'good with that."  She kissed his nose and said, "Vicky Baby girl help me up off the floor - before we can't get me back up.." Vicky quickly, did - Robin said softly, "God I love you Missy, can I just take you home and keep you forever?" Missy smirked - "I think your girlfriend might have something to say about that my Darling, besides I kind of like it here in my hotel room - I have my eye on the fella across the way.. he's a bit of a dish.."

"Eww Grammy.." Lyrena groaned - "He's got a bung eye and a peg leg." 

"You can't be picky at my age - he's got a nice ass in jeans Lyrena.. that's all that matters - I'm an ass girl.." Everyone was laughing and Missy gave Steve a wink - "Like my Grandson... he's an ass man too." 

Steve just stare at her and then he hid his face. "I... can't..." He muttered softly - the girls were snickering and Issac said - "Nothing wrong with being an ass man Stevie my bro... I like asses myself.." Missy scoffed at him, "You're a sixteen year old punk - wait till your at least eighteen before your thinking about that kind of thing you little shit."

"Oh my Moon Grammy, I'm sixteen..." He huffed out, and she snorted - "So? Stay a kid for as long as you can grandson - don't be so quick to grow up - enjoy this shit - go do kid stuff - its fun."

"Wise words Nanny.." Steve said softly, and Missy gave him a soft little rumbling growl of approval - "That's my wise one over there... he knows what I'm talking about."

Issac pouted, "Don't you love me no more Grammy?" He said still pouting as he sat in her lap like a big baby.

"Of course I still love you, who makes me the best pot brownies?" She gave him a kiss and Issac grinned, he gave Steve the finger. 

Steve laughed and gave him the finger back, and Issac snickered - "Just messing with you my bro." He blew Steve a kiss - "My Homo-ie."

"Jesus kid.. you want me to punch your teeth out." Steve growled, but he laughed and Issac snorted - "I could take you.. bring it on old man."

Jonathan laughed, "He's like the annoying little brother you never asked for." 

Steve laughed too and he curled up into Lyrena and muttered - "Little shit head." 

"I heard that Steve-o the homo, I will fuck your shit up bro." Issac scoffed at him and Missy said - "Shut up Issac we're gonna watch Cheech and Chong you dumbass.." 

Lyrena chuckled softly, and then she whispered to Steve, "Would you like for me to arrange the sweat? You can... call your friend?"

Steve got all anxious again, and she stroked his hair - "...Or.. no?" She said softly. Steve whispered - "....No, lets do it - can.. I call him somewhere private?" Lyrena nodded, "I have a phone in my bedroom, do you want to call him now Baby?" 

He nodded, blushing and fidgeting again - and she said softly, "Come with me my angel." They got up and she curled her fingers through Steve's - "We'll be back.." She said softly - and then she led Steve through the house, and into her bedroom. "There's the phone Sweetness, are you hungry Baby? Can Mama make you something to eat? What would you like?"

Steve stared up at her as he sat on her bed, his eyes all big and full of tears again - and he stammered out - "I d-don't k-know Mama." His voice all shaky, and she said softly - "I'll make something nice for dinner for everyone, I think.. I know what to make - you take your time sweetheart, and if you need to have a rest you just curl up in here too okay?" Steve nodded, biting on his fingers and then he pulled his sleeves over his hands. "Do you want me to ask Robin to come sit with you for a little while first?" Lyrena asked him softly.

Steve nodded, tears spilling down his face again - and she whispered, "Okay my Baby.." She left - her scent swishing all around him and Steve whimpered softly - a little while later Robin came into the bedroom and she curled up beside him. "Are you okay Stevie?" She asked softly, and Steve just started to cry - Robin pulled him into her arms and he whispered - "I have...family.. I have family Robin - she's... I.... don't even know her, not really... but I do... I feel her - I love her so much it hurts... I love her.." He couldn't stop the tears and Robin said softly, "Oh Stevie Honey, its okay to feel it - it's okay to cry, you're happy - you feel safe and loved - you're allowed to feel this way sweet little dumpling."

They curled up together, laying in Lyrena's bed and Robin just kept stroking her fingers in Steve's hair - till his sobs stopped and he went quiet. Robin whispered, "You looked so content laying there. Happy."

"I was... I.. really was." He whispered back. "She has photos of me when I was little."

"Oh my gosh I wanna see them." Robin said softly - cooing at Steve, "I bet you were the sweetest little smooshie dumpling with the cutest little poofy cheekies." Steve laughed and Robin giggled - "You totally were, weren't cha." Steve mumbled softly, "I'm not tellin.."

"Uh-huh you were, with big long lashes and sweet rosy poofy cheekies." Robin teased and she said, "Dude I was the ugliest fucking Baby you've ever seen.." She made a face - "I'll show you.. oh my god they should have sent me back to the factory and asked for another one.." She giggled hysterically as Steve snorted and then tickled her. "I bet your full of shit - I bet you were cute as can be too." 

"Nope.. ugly little fugly fucker." She said solemnly - "You just wait - you're going to be like, ew what the hell is that even." Robin giggled, and Steve said softly - "I'm... glad you're here with me Robin."

She looked at him, and said softly - "So am I. Ever since my car broke down in that storm and you changed my tire - and then helped me.. when my Daddy got mean and hit me.." Tears welled up in her eyes, "You helped me.. get my own place, you.. g-gave me a job, you.. made me feel safe, and like I was a good person.." Tears spilled down her face.

"You are a good person Robin, you're the best person.." Steve said softly, "You're my person. My girl." He nuzzled his face in against her hair and he whispered, "Your my sunshine, and I'll always do anything for you - your my baby sister." Robin let out a soft little sob, and Steve just held her in his arms. "I'll protect you always, you might not be a wolf, but your still my pack." His voice was soft and rumbly and Robin whispered, "You mean the world to me Stevie Black."

Steve said softly, "I want you to keep calling me that, I am a Black... I've always been that.." Robin sniffled and softly kissed his jaw. "So not a Harrington."

"Nah.. not a Harrington." He murmured - "Half a Harrington.. but I'm used to Black." 

"Are you going to call Kaj? I'm so curious... I wanna met him." She said softly, gently playing with the claw around his neck. 

"Yeah... I'm .. kind of scared too." Steve whispered. 

"Why?" Robin asked softly, gently gripping his chin and making him look at her. 

"I...don't know.." He murmured softly, looking at her from under his lashes - "..When we...slept together it was because I was ...dying I had to trigger my healing - I got attacked by a Cougar." 

Robins eyes got all big - "But.. we... could have, ... should have stopped.." Steve whispered, "I didn't want too.." He bit his fingers.

"Oh.." Robin said softly, her cheeks pink and she nuzzled her face against Steve's cheek - he knew he was blushing - "I... don't know Robin, I... don't know." He let his eyes close and she whispered, "But.. he's who you need... to help you with the ritual the sweat?"

He nodded and she said softly, "Then do it - call him."

Steve nodded and he whispered - "Okay."

Robin kissed his cheek, "I'll give you some privacy okay sweet dumpling?" Her voice soft - "I love you Stevie - you know that he's the one to call for this - just do it, if it will help you - please?"

Steve said softly, "I will, I... know you're right.." 

She nodded, and said softly - "Don't... think about him, about what he tried to make you feel - you have no reason to feel guilty for wanting Kaj to help you Stevie.."

He just breathed out slowly, and watched as Robin left the room - shutting the door behind her. Steve stared at the phone - his hands shaking, and he closed his eyes tightly - his heart was hammering in his chest - and he let out a shaky exhale, and then picked up the phone.

Chapter Text

It was raining, the kind of rain that seemed like it wasn't going to soak you through - misty light rain that fell without any heaviness in it - yet after a short time standing in it, it had soaked you through. It clung to the air - mist formed when you breathed out. It was cold and damp - made the air smell moist and rich.

It was a different kind of cling to the air at home. Steve liked it - the earth smelt like home. He could smell the richness of it, the deep earthy undertones of pine needles and rotting undergrowth. Fungus and worms deep in the ground - new life sprouting forth. The woods were dark and deep and held the promise of new things to discover. 

He raked his fingers through his hair and let out a soft exhale, it was early hours in the morning - still dark as night - fog clung heavy to everything, like a white thick blanket. Holding in the rain and making it slightly cooler. It was quiet up in the mountains too, but underneath it all was the quiet stirring of life hidden in the shadows of the trees.

Steve felt a peaceful ache in his bones up here - they'd only been there for a day - and already he felt like he'd lived there his entire life. For Steve it was an overwhelming feeling, and like always it was something he didn't know how to understand.

Steve had done nothing but cry it seemed like. The night before he'd been introduced to more members of his family. His two Uncles, Nate and Elias. And again he felt overwhelmed with attachment. Nate who Lyrena had described as a grumpy old shoe, had been a quiet man.

He'd reminded Steve so much of his Father, but in an entirely different way all at the same time. He was the oldest of the siblings - and he was the Horse man. Nate had a stillness that reminded Steve of Missy.

He also had a laugh that lit up the entire room and filled space when he did it. He'd had everyone laughing it was infectious - and yet he seemed to understand that Steve was the way he was, overwhelmed by things around him, he didn't push too hard - he didn't ask so many questions, he did when he knew he could - and not when he couldn't.

Nate had taken Steve out to his house and showed him where he helped the horses. Lyrena had said Elias was her favorite brother, Steve? He thought his Uncle Nate was his favorite.

Elias was of course a lovely man too, but he was loud and silly - and gentle. His wife and kids were really nice too. Steve felt comfortable with all of them in a way he'd never felt comfortable with most people his entire life. Which is why it all felt so strange.

Steve didn't know what to make of the entire situation. They all just seemed different - maybe it was living up in the mountains, maybe it was just the respect and kindness they all had for each other. He didn't know - but it was different, and Steve liked it. 

He had fallen asleep curled up like a little baby wrapped up in Lyrena's arms. He'd found Robin, Vicky and Jonathan piled up asleep in the living room. Missy was asleep on a day bed - and Issac was asleep laying on his back in the middle of a pile of cushions. Apparently it wasn't unusual for wolves to sleep in a pile, or at each others houses (dens they kept calling them).

Steve had no idea - he'd just always been alone so much, that he didn't understand how it all worked. When he'd opened his eyes, he crawled out of bed and snuck outside to have a smoke. 

Steve had called Kaj, and he was coming - he hadn't hesitated. He was still anxious and feeling nervous - and he didn't want to think about why. Kaj knew that Steve wasn't okay, but he hadn't asked questions over the phone, he'd just said he would come - that they would talk when he got there. Steve wasn't entirely sure he wanted to talk about things - how bad things actually were. Talk about Eddie. Steve felt the painful twist in his belly.

It hurt to think about how foolish he was, how blinded he'd been. How easily Eddie had manipulated him. How you let him manipulate you. It made Steve feel angry too. Angry at himself. He'd let his guard down - Steve let out a soft sigh.

Raking his fingers through his hair, Steve let his eyes close. His fingers went to the claw around his neck - Missy was wearing a claw - but it wasn't the same as his. Lyrena and Missy said that a lot of the Elders had claws that were handed down through the families. But there was only one Shar's claw - and he was the only one that had it.

When he'd been at his Uncle Nate's - the older man had given Steve a box full of stuff that had belonged to his parents. Steve now had photo albums, journals - he had things that had belonged to both his Mom, and his Dad. He had never had those personal things before. When Steve had sat alone with them, he had a moment where he realized that if Eddie hadn't been pushing for them to go to Washington?

Steve wouldn't have found his Family.

That had made him sad, and lonely - and ache for Eddie in a completely different way. And it made him hate himself for missing him all over again. It'd made Steve cry again.

It had made him feel sick to the stomach, he re-read the things Eddie had written in the report. 

That Eddie thought Steve should be in a psychiatric facility. That he was unstable. Dangerous.

He didn't live in reality. That Steve lived in a Fantasy world he'd created to cope with life. 

That'd reinforced his anger and feeling of Betrayal. Made Steve push away his feelings of missing Eddie. 

I fucking hate you. 

***

The house was a buzz of noise, Robin and Vicky were helping Missy in the kitchen - the three of them were making everyone breakfast - Jonathan was outside cutting up firewood for Lyrena. (Who knew he was handy with an axe? Steve had no idea) Issac had reluctantly gone home after his Mama had phoned asking where he was.

The younger man had become somewhat attached to Jonathan it seemed - and Steve thought it was kind of cute, despite the fact that he also knew it might wiggle some eyebrows. He wasn't really sure how anyone felt about that kind of thing up here - Steve was a little bit scared to mention anything of the sort. 

Although Missy, and Lyrena both seemed to understand that Robin and Vicky were more than just friends - and neither of them were bothered by it. Missy had picked up on and said she knew Steve was "an ass man" the thought of that just made Steve shaky, made him blush. Back home being a queer was something that was frowned upon - something shameful. You didn't go around telling anyone - things were just so different up in the mountain. Were Wolves just more accepting? Steve didn't know.

He was getting more antsy - more anxious because he knew that Kaj was going to be there soon. 

"Eh.. you alright my Grandson, you seem extra quiet this morning?" Missy said as she came and sat with him, her tiny weathered hand took his - it was so warm and soft and she gave him a twinkly eyed smile. 

"Just.. thinkin too much Nanny." He rasped softly, giving her a smile - she tutted softly, and then reached up and stroked his hair back. 

"You spend too much time worrying about things you don't need to be worrying about ayo, it will be alright. Your friend is gonna be here soon hmm?" She let out a soft chuckle, "I can't believe you and the girls ate that crap Lyrena made for dinner last night - tofu loaf - who ever heard of such nonsense, wolves that don't eat meat?" She scoffed and Steve let out a soft laugh.

He let himself be pulled into her arms, and then he said softly, "I didn't wanna be rude Nanny, I sure do eat meat - most of the time its all I eat. I didn't mind none - thought it was pretty tasty." Steve let out a soft laugh, and Missy muttered, "It was okay - don't tell her that though."

"I won't, I'll keep it a secret." Steve said with a smirk, and Missy chuckled - "You better or she'll be making me eat it all the time - damn kookoo bird." Missy was humming softly as she continued to play with his hair. Steve let his eyes close - relaxing with it.

"Thank you Baby, I really do appreciate it." Lyrena said, as she came into the room. Steve's eyes opened - Jonathan was carrying a big basket of chopped up wood, "No problem Lyrena, saves you a job - Morning Missy - morning Stevie, you sleep good?" He stuck the basket down on the hearth next to the fire - wiping his hands off.

"You're a good boy Jonny." Missy said, nodding at him and then she eased herself up - going back to the kitchen. Steve sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Mhmm kinda - woke up about three a.m but.. I did manage to go back to sleep."

Lyrena smiled softly, and then Mina came into the room - quiet as a little mouse, big eyes - she looked at Jonathan, but then just stayed by the doorway. She looked at Steve, and then she said softly, "There's a big man with a motorcycle."

Steve's stomach did a flip and Lyrena said to her, "Is he outside Baby?" She looked at Steve, her eyes warm and gentle - Steve knew that Lyrena knew it was Kaj. Mina just nodded - her eyes on Steve though.

Jonathan said with a grin, "Is this your wolf friend?" Last night, Robin, Vicky and Jonathan had been told the truth - Steve didn't want to keep it from them - and they'd all handled it surprisingly well. Jonathan just seemed to be at peace since arriving up in the mountains. Happier - he hadn't mentioned Nancy Wheeler once.

"You should go meet your friend Baby." Lyrena said to him softly. 

Steve nodded, heat in his cheeks and then he stood up - Mina clung to Steve's leg - and Steve stared down at her, then he scooped her up and she quickly buried herself into his body - hiding her tiny face in against his neck.

He was quite happy for her to do it, her little body was warm and she smelt like the wildflowers that were growing in the big meadow. Steve felt safe with her in his arms. Not that he thought Kaj was dangerous - but he could use a little safe - just like he knew Mina thought Steve was safe.

"So cute." Jonathan said softly, his eyes all crinkly as he smiled at them. "Ya big softie.." Steve muttered at him and Jonathan laughed - Lyrena let out a sweet, almost musical laugh - her hand on her chest. "My Babies.." She murmured and Steve just looked at her - she said, "Go on..."

Steve blushed and then he headed outside - Kaj was just standing there, drinking in the view - he'd already taken his helmet off - and some of the rez kids were loitering about - staring at him and of course there were some random dogs that had found there way over.

Kaj reached down and was already patting one - and Whistler was wagging her tail and waiting for her turn to have some attention. "Hello little pups.." Kaj laughed and then he scooped Whistler up, petting her. 

His vivid blue eyes, stared at Steve. "This is quite the place Lille Ulv." Kaj's voice was rumbling and soft and Steve smiled, his own voice a little rough as he said, "Ain't it pretty up here Kaj? It's.. really somethin.." The older man gave him a big smile, and then he stepped in closer - "And who's this tiny little prinsesse." (princess) Mina peeked out from her hiding place, and stared at Kaj.  Steve said softly, "This is Mini Mina.." 

Kaj chuckled softly, "Hej Mina, my name is Kaj - but you can call me Spooky if you want. I'm not really scary though I promise." Mina let out a soft little giggle and Kaj smiled - Steve let out a soft laugh and said softly, "Your shy aren't you Mina, Kaj might be big - but he is like a teddy bear."

Kaj gently stroked Steve's cheek all of a sudden, and Steve let out a soft breath - Mina nuzzled her little nose against Steve's throat, and then she just laid there - peeking at Kaj.

"I think she is quite happy to be in your arms  Lille Ulv." Kaj murmured, and Steve looked up at Kaj and then said softly - "Mhmm.." The two of them just kind of stared at each other, and then Kaj grabbed his bags off the back of his bike, slung them over his shoulder and Steve let out a soft little breath as Kaj reached out and then interlaced his fingers through Steve's, holding his free hand.

"So before we go inside, this is Wolf territory - yes?" Kaj asked quietly, he was standing close - and Steve nodded, "It is... its a Mescalito Reservation, but.. yeah - everyone up here, mostly everyone is a full blooded Wolf."

"But I am okay being here?" Kaj said, and Steve gently squeezed Kaj's hand in his - "Of course you are..." Their eyes met again and Kaj nodded - "Okay.." They went inside, and Mina said softly - "You have pretty eyes Spooky." Kaj said softly, "Thank you little Mina. So do you." She giggled softly - and Steve smiled, she held his face in her hands and then nuzzled her nose against his - "You want me to put you down my angel?" He asked softly, and she whispered "Uh-huh."

Steve set her down, and she looked up at them both and then quietly slipped away. He was going to lead Kaj into the kitchen - but Kaj pulled him in close, "Not yet.." Kaj's voice was rumbly and soft against Steve's ear, and Steve let his eyes close - but then he shifted, and Kaj gently brushed his hair back. 

"We will talk later Kaj, I promise.." Steve said softly, looking up at Kaj - he whispered, "I... I'm really glad you came."

"Of course I ...you need me I come, remember?" Kaj's voice was rougher, he rest his forehead against Steve's having to lean down into him - and he said softer, "I know something is wrong, I feel it. I know there is more that you aren't saying. But I will always come if you need me - you don't know that by now Wolfie?" 

Steve whispered, "I.. do, I do know." 

Kaj mumbled softly - "Why are you afraid of me, I would never hurt you." 

Steve's eyes closed and he whispered - "I... I'm not.. I.." 

Kaj let out a soft little growl in the back of his throat - that made Steve shiver, "Yes... you are Wolfie, I can...smell it.. you don't have to be afraid, not.. of me, never... of me.."

Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat - he wasn't sure if it was a whimper, or a moan - or what it was, but Kaj just curled his arms around him and Steve held onto him - enveloped in the warmth of Kaj's body. The heat of it - the strength of it.

Kaj's scent - musk and cedar, fire smoke - rosemary. safety. pack. home. Steve was always brought back to sanctuary - reminded of the fact that when he was at his most vulnerable, this man had protected him. Always. When he'd been a child - when he'd had no other safety, Kaj was his safety. It brought tears to his eyes every time. And now was no different. 

Steve breathed out shakily, his tears already wetting Kaj's skin.

Kaj just curled his fingers against his body and said nothing - but the fear in Steve's scent went away, and he relaxed into Kaj's embrace. 

"Grandson, are you going to introduce us to your big friend?" Missy's soft voice - made Steve pull back, and he looked at her from under his lashes - wiping at his face. He blushed, his face hot - and he said softly, "Of course Nanny." 

She had her mischievous twinkle in her eyes, and she stared up at Kaj. 

"Nanny, this is Kaj Valentin, he's been my best friend - my brother... my.. pack since forever." Steve's voice was shaky, and a little raspy - he felt Kaj hold him a little bit tighter, not letting him go. "Kaj, this is my Nanny Missy - my great great granny." 

Kaj said in his husky voice, "Hej Nanny, it is nice to meet you."

Missy chuckled softly, "Oh you are a pretty one - it's nice to meet you too eh?" She gave him a cuddle and Kaj was smiling - cuddling her back, she held both of their arms, linking them and they went into the kitchen.

Kaj was introduced to Robin, Vicky and Jonathan next - Steve thought that Robin was maybe going to die from shock or something. She kept staring, and then she went all red as she blushed.

Jonathan and Kaj were talking and seemed to be getting along well - when Missy hissed at Steve, "That ass in those jeans..."

"Nanny!" Steve laughed and she gave him a smirk - "I know my Grandson.. you're an ass man." He just laughed, shaking his head - and Robin said to him, "Holy shit Stevie..." Vicky smirked and said, "Are you in love Robin... should I be worried?"

Robin turned scarlet and Steve snickered with Vicky. "Just... I mean, what?" Robin whispered - "He's... so.. hot, holy...shit."

Vicky and Steve both giggled.

"Kaj?" Steve said softly - he held his hand out and Kaj moved closer, taking hold of his hand - Steve said softly "I wanna introduce you to someone else.. c'mon.." 

Steve led Kaj out of the kitchen, the other's were starting to get the food ready - and Kaj murmured - "I may actually be going to eat breakfast.."

Steve laughed softly, and he whispered - "Me too, I'm hungry." Kaj grinned at him and Steve said softly, "But.. it doesn't really count cos its late?"

Kaj smirked - "It's not brunch though - lets not call it that either.."

Steve laughed, "Nah.. fuck that.. la-de-dah bullshit."

Kaj murmured, "Mhmm.. yeah we aren't fancy.."

Steve said softly, "Mhmm definitely not fancy.."

Steve led Kaj into the living room, and he said softly - "Kaj? This is... my Mama, my Aunt Lyrena.." Lyrena was putting some things away into the bookshelf - and she turned around. She moved in closer, and then said softly, "Hi Baby." She stroked Steve's face, and then she reached up and she said, "Can I touch your face sweetheart?" Kaj just nodded, and she gently stroked his cheek. "Hello angel, I'm so happy to meet you, my little Bird needs you here.."

Kaj's voice was soft as he murmured, "There's no other place I'd wanna be." Lyrena said just as soft, "I know there isn't. You've always taken such good care of him." Steve felt his wolf itching, howling inside him and Lyrena smiled at him, she pulled the two of them into a hug and Kaj murmured softly, "I always will."

Steve breathed in both of them, and Lyrena said softly - "You thought you might not be welcome here, of course you are Baby." She gently stroked Kaj's face - Steve saw that Kaj had tears on his cheeks - and he held Kaj's hand close to his his chest.

"You're pack, you are always welcome. Are you both hungry? We should get some food in your bellies hmm? Don't like breakfast.." She let out a soft laugh, and Kaj grinned - Steve pouted and Lyrena said to him, "We'll call it dinner instead, sweet pup." 

Steve laughed softly and she giggled - "I am starving - we have bacon and steaks as well - so.. not just tofu." She winked at Steve and he laughed softly - she went on ahead of them, and Kaj said softly - "She's beautiful, she makes you feel safe.."

It wasn't a question - and Steve said softly "She is, and yeah.. yeah Kaj she does. I... just wanna be with her, near her - I... don't know.." He was feeling all shy and awkard, fidgeting - and Kaj gently gripped his chin. "Don't feel bad because you want love, because you want safety. You are allowed to want those things Wolfie.."

Steve just looked up at Kaj, not saying anything - and Kaj murmured softly, "You've never had those things before.. so.."

"That's not entirely true." Steve whispered back, lowering his gaze - "You've always made me feel safe, d-do you not love me?" His stomach was all in knots - and tight and Kaj kissed his forehead, his voice all rumbling and soft as he growled out, "Of course I love you."

Steve let out a soft exhale, and Kaj murmured - "Do you love me?" He could feel Kaj's fingers curled into his hair - and Steve said softly, "Uh-huh of course I love you Kaj... mhmm.." He breathed in Kaj's scent, the older boy nuzzled his face into Steve's hair and he murmured - "You make me feel safe too Wolfie.. and calmer. We should go and eat?"

Steve didn't really want to go anywhere, but he said softly "Mhmm.. okay." 

He pulled back, and the two of them stared at each other quietly - till Steve lowered his gaze, and Kaj said softly - "I like your friends, hmm.. I especially like Robin, she's very calming - she's special to you isn't she." He interlaced their fingers, and Steve said softly - "Yeah she is Kaj, I... really care about her a lot. She feels like pack, like.. my sister.."

His eyes welled up with tears and he buried his face in his hands - wanting to hide, not wanting to cry - he was suddenly really scared that something would happen to her, that.. Robin would get hurt.

"I.. can't lose her." He said shakily - and Kaj said huskily, "Hey.. no, why would you? Why would you even think that?"

Steve breathed out harshly, and he just stared up at Kaj - fear in his scent again, and in his face. Kaj didn't say anything - but he slid his fingers into Steve's hair, and he murmured - "Nothing is going to happen to her, you will protect her - and.. if you want me too, I will protect you both."

Steve breathed out against Kaj's face and Kaj murmured - "I'll help you Wolfie.." He kissed Steve's forehead, and Steve let his eyes close. "Don't be scared." Kaj whispered, and Steve just let out another shaky little breath. 

Kaj took his hand and they went back to the kitchen - Lyrena gave Steve a soft little smile, her eyes gentle - and Steve stared back at her. "Go sit with Mama," Kaj murmured softly, "I'll get you some food Wolfie.." Steve looked up at him, and Kaj nuzzled his nose into his hair, murmuring - "Go on.."

Steve whispered back, "Okay.." He went and sat next to Lyrena, she stroked her fingers into his hair - in between eating her food - and she said softly, "My sweet pup, he's very handsome."

Steve blushed and just looked at her and she kissed his temple and said softly, "Are you still feeling anxious about him being here?" Steve said softly, "No...and yes. I don't know Mama.." He blushed and stared down at his hands. He looked up at Kaj, watching him as he got two plates of food - he was laughing at Jonathan - and Lyrena said softly, "I don't think you have anything to worry about my Baby. He won't hurt you."

Steve looked at her and he said softly, "I... know - I.."

He stared down at his hands and closed his eyes - "Your worried you might, or..someone else might." She said softly - and Steve whispered, "I... d-don't know." He looked at her, and she said softly - tears in her eyes, "My sweet pup, it's going to be okay."

Steve just nodded, and Kaj sat down beside him - "There you go little Wolfie." He gave Steve a smile - his eyes burning bright and Steve said softly, "Thanks Spooky."

Lyrena laughed softly, "Why do you call him Spooky?" She stabbed some of her fried potatoes and ate them - making happy noises and Steve let out a soft laugh.

"Because he's white in his fur.." Steve said softly - and Lyrena's eyes - her gaze went to Missy - and Missy said softly, "White when you put on your fur eh? And your eyes - they like that all the time? They never change back?"

"Yes Nanny, my eyes stay as my Wolf eyes all the time. I just thought its because my Wolf is always awake." Kaj let out a soft laugh, and munched on some steak.

Lyrena smiled, and she reached out - gently touching the tattoos that Kaj had around his scalp. "It's not very common - in fact I don't think I've ever heard of it before." She said softly.

Missy nodded, "Ayo there are some old stories of Uratha that stayed awake - but that was a long, long time ago - and only one." She said quietly, and Steve murmured - "Who was it?"

"Father Wolf." Lyrena said softly, and Steve just blinked - heat in his cheeks. Because that was Shar's mate.

Missy's eyes met Steve's and he said softly, "Oh."

"This food is so delicious." Kaj said - oblivious because he didn't know - and Steve said softly, "Yeah it is." 

The two women were talking again with Robin, Vicky and Jonathan - and Kaj was talking with them too - but Steve had gone quiet. If Lyrena and Missy were implying that Kaj was like Father Wolf - that he was Shar. Were they saying that Kaj was Steve's mate? Steve shivered a little and felt the heat in his cheeks again - was he wrong about Eddie? Stop thinking about him. He's poison and you know it.

Steve felt Kaj's fingers gently brush his and Kaj leaned in, "You okay?" Kaj murmured soft against his ear and Steve blushed hotter - and whispered, "Mhmm..yeah." 

Kaj put another piece of steak on his plate, and rumbled soft at him - "Eat that up, hmm.. too skinny.." Steve let out a soft laugh and Kaj grinned at him - Steve muttered softly - "Fine.. I'll eat it." Missy chuckled softly, and said - "Haha.. he puts his food on your plate to fatten your belly up.. good plan Blue eyes." 

Kaj grinned at her and she winked at him - Steve laughed softly, still blushing and Missy chuckled - "You are a skinny little thing." She said - "But very Beautiful my grandson. You too Blue eyes - you're my grandson too, I claim you. No questions - its done." Kaj's eyes welled up and he said huskily, "I am happy to be claimed as your grandson."

She smiled and Lyrena said - "Tonight we are planning on having a big run - sorry my babies." She looked at Vicky, Robin and Jon. "You will have to enjoy the party with those that can't put on fur... but you'll still have fun." She looked at Steve and Kaj "You'll have so much fun... I promise."

Steve felt a rush of excitement, and then also anxiety - he felt Kaj gently squeeze his fingers and Steve felt his cock get hard in his pants - that made him feel a rush of heat in his belly and then he felt nervous. Why he was getting hard - he didn't want to admit. The last time they'd been in their fur together - him and Kaj had sex. Steve shoved more food into his mouth and kept quiet as he ate - listening to everyone talking and he thought to himself, Stop it - your not supposed to be thinking about that - about sex and Kaj.

Kaj stole some potatoes off his plate and Steve shoved him - the two of them teasing each other and Steve pouted - "Stop stealin my potatoes." He whined it softly and Lyrena chuckled - "They're good huh?" She asked and Steve said softly, "Hmm so good.." He laughed as Kaj deliberately stole another piece and Steve narrowed his eyes - "I'll bite you." He said with a growl. "That is not much of a threat to me.." Kaj smirked and Steve got all hot in his belly. 

"Shut up." He muttered back and Kaj laughed - Missy said with a smirk - "Eat the rest of them my grandson, Jon - get the pan for him." 

Jonathan did and Steve laughed as he piled the plate up and Steve said, "Yes... all mine." He ate happily and beside him Kaj said - "You're not going to share?" Steve put some more onto Kaj's plate, Kaj said with a smirk - "Thank you hmm.. sweet Lille Ulv."

"Welcome Spooky." Steve said softly, brushing his leg against Kaj's under the table - Kaj let out a happy little rumbly noise and Robin said with a giggle - "I just realized Stevie that you do that too, the rumbling thing - its your Wolf when you're all happy.. its so cute." 

Beside him, Kaj was blushing - and Steve looked at Robin, and he said with a laugh - "You'll know now - even if I seem grumpy." She smiled, and Kaj gave Robin a little smirk, "You'll figure out his little wolfie habits." She grinned and Lyrena laughed softly as she stole some potatoes off Steve's plate, Kaj said - "You don't complain now?"

"Because Mama is Mama - and you are stinky.." He said  - and Kaj said outraged, "I do not stink!" Steve laughed softly, "Mhmm.. totally stinky.." Everyone was laughing and Kaj growled at him, "You're stinky.. smelly little wolfie." Mina let out a soft little giggle and Steve looked at her, "He's so mean to me Mina." 

She giggled and then Kaj said - "You started it, calling me stinky first.." Steve bit the air and Lyrena let out a laugh, because it was the first time she'd seen Steve do it. 

Kaj leaned in without thinking about it and bit Steve's neck softly - Steve let out a soft little noise - and then he got up and left the table. Everyone went quiet - and Kaj said softly, "Dum skid." (son of a bitch) He then said, "Sorry, I'll.. go see if he is okay." He got up and went after Steve - and Robin said brightly - "There's something there right? Oh I hope so - they're so cute together." 

Everyone talking all at once and Lyrena let out a soft laugh, Robin said softly - "I really hope so, because.. yeah.." She went quiet, biting her lip - knowing it wasn't her business to talk about Eddie.

Chapter Text

Steve breathed out shakily, he felt like he couldn't focus properly - his Wolf felt desperate wanting, something - he didn't know. Yes you do. "Stop it." He whispered to himself, letting out a shaky, "Fuck." He tugged on his hair and then let out a startled little whimper as Kaj suddenly caught up to him and gripped his arm.

"Hej, where are you going?" His voice was raspy soft, "Let me come with you." 

Steve said softly - "I.. don't know?" He looked up at Kaj, briefly - before his gaze darted away - nervous, he felt nervous. 

Kaj said softly, "I.. fuck this.. I didn't want this to happen between us." His voice was husky.

Steve felt his stomach get all tight, "What.. are you talking about?" He asked, he knew - but he didn't want to admit that he knew.

"..I things, you - are, are things weird now?" Kaj muttered softly, he added, "I don't know, I don't want it to be weird." 

Steve looked up at him, his cheeks were pink and he shook his head. "No.. they're not are they?" His voice soft, he whispered -"I'm sorry." Steve bit his lip and ducked his head, his hair falling into his face. "I just.. I needed to .. it got to hot in there, and.. I don't know." His voice was raspy and soft and Steve muttered, "Maybe I ate too much." 

Kaj murmured, "I.. thought you left cos of me." He interlaced their fingers, and Steve held Kaj's hand in both of his - Steve was leading Kaj up to where the big meadow was, it was full of wildflowers - and was one of Steve's favorite places so far. Mina had shown it to him the day before. 

"Are things weird Kaj?" Steve asked softly, his stomach got all tight. 

Kaj murmured -"I don't want it to be, do you think its weird?" Steve shook his head no, and Kaj whispered - "Good, then it isn't." 

The big meadow was vast and sprawling - the grasses were high, up to Steve's waist in some places and full of wildflowers of every color and description. Not all of it was as tall as that, but it was definitely wild. 

"Holy shit.." Kaj's face lit up and he grinned - "This reminds me.. of a place back home, when I was a little boy." His voice got all soft, and then he looked sad - Steve just watched his face, and then he smiled again, tears in his eyes and Steve let out a soft little breath.

"You remembered the story I told you about when I was looking for the rabbit." Kaj murmured, and Steve said softly - "Mhmm s'why I brought you here first - made me think of that when I saw it. This place made me think of you - like... it was your place back in Denmark." Kaj just stared down at Steve, and then he pulled him in close and held Steve flush against his body and Steve curled his fingers against Kaj's side, breathing him in. 

"I never did find that stupid rabbit." Kaj muttered darkly and Steve let out a soft laugh.

Kaj laughed and it rumbled through him, Steve shivered and he said softly - "Did you really shift when you were a little boy?"

"Ja I did, I was eight - strangest thing - I told you I got lost and chase the bunny through the meadow. But never found the bunny." Kaj had his fingers in Steve's hair, he leaned in and was burying his face in Steve's hair, breathing in Steve's scent.

It made Steve shiver and he curled his fingers against Kaj's chest. 

Kaj murmured, "You smell good.." Steve said softly, "Do I?" He breathed in Kaj's scent and whispered, "So do you." 

Kaj let out a soft little rumbling noise and Steve laughed softly, Kaj grinned and then he pulled Steve with him - the two of them walking through the grass - the bees were buzzing gently - the wind blowing through and the sweet smell of the flowers moved around them. 

"This is a beautiful place." Steve said softly, "I... really love it here." He felt an ache in his belly and Kaj suddenly tugged Steve down into the grass with him - Kaj landed first, softening Steve's landing and Kaj said softly, "It's a special place." 

Steve was a little bit breathless, Kaj stared down at him. Steve's gaze shifted from looking at the sky, to Kaj's face. 

"It is a special place." Steve said softly, he just went quiet though - his heart was beating fast in his chest, and Kaj had his eyes closed - Steve wondered what Kaj was thinking about, he wasn't as good at picking up on things - Human or Wolf. Steve bit his bottom lip. 

Things between them, were definitely different. Even if they didn't want them to be. Steve didn't know what to do. Was it his fault? Tears welled up in his eyes and he looked away, instead of looking at Kaj. 

Kaj murmured softly, "Steve.." He leaned in closer, and whispered "Why are you crying?"

"I... don't know?" He whispered back, his tears slid down his face and he added - "I.. don't want things to be weird, I.. don't know." Steve shifted his head, and Kaj murmured - "They're not weird, we already decided, remember?" 

Steve breathed out softly, and he nodded - and Kaj said softly, "So don't cry.." He brushed Steve's tears away - and Steve curled his fingers into the ground underneath him, he wanted to touch Kaj - but he didn't. He breathed out slowly, trying to calm himself down. 

Kaj said softly, "Are you going to talk to me hmm? Tell me what's going on." 

Steve found himself just staring at Kaj, his blue eyes seemed to burn brighter - and Steve let out a soft little noise.

Kaj murmured, "Wolfie?"

"Yeah?" He whispered back, his stomach was all tight and hot and Kaj whispered, "Things aren't weird right?" His fingers gently brushed against Steve's throat - pushing his hair back and Steve tilted his head just a little, "N-no things aren't weird." He said softly, looking at Kaj from under his lashes - Steve brushed his fingers against Kaj's face, he lifted his head just a little - and brushed his mouth against Kaj's. 

He had kissed Kaj this way before, a little feather soft kiss - nothing sexual behind it. 

But that was before. This was now. Things were different - they were both lying when they said they weren't. 

Kaj licked at Steve's mouth, something they'd not done. Steve licked back at Kaj's, tasting each other. Tentative - at first, like Kaj wasn't sure Steve would let him - and Steve wanted it - the moment that he felt the warmth of Kaj's tongue - that soft little lick. 

Steve whimpered.

It was like they crossed that line together - Kaj moaned - and it wasn't tentative anymore. 

It was deep, needy and visceral - Kaj was kissing him hungrily and Steve kissed Kaj back - tongues meeting, Steve heard Kaj let out a deep, dirty groan - like he'd been holding it in. Steve heard a needy sound, heat bursting into his face, when he realized it was himself that made it. 

The wet, hot slick of their tongues, dancing together - drawing shaking breaths. It was addictive, and delicious - not enough. 

Kaj had pulled Steve in closer, his hands hot against Steve's skin - under his shirt, just digging into his soft cool skin. Steve hand his hands wherever he could hold on - they were both tangled up in each other, tangled up in the wildflowers and grass - the sun shining down on them, the bees buzzing around - Steve let out a breathless little moan against Kaj's face, his cheeks flush - and Kaj stared down at him. 

Steve looked beautiful - he had grass in his hair, and little flowers. His eyes were liquid gold.

"Kaj.." Steve whispered, but said nothing else, his voice all breathy - he stroked his fingers against Kaj's face - and then nuzzled his cheek. His heart was beating hard in his chest, and he was feeling scared again, not because of Kaj - he just felt scared because of everything else. 

"Steve." Kaj murmured, and he brushed his own fingers - ghosting them over Steve's face. "My sweet Lille Ulv." (Little Wolf)

Steve smiled a soft little smile, and then he looked at Kaj - biting his lip. Tears welled up and Steve closed his eyes tightly, frustrated because he didn't want to cry again. He was so tired of crying. 

Steve breathed out heavier - and then he said softly. "I.. I'm so happy you are here Kaj... that you wanted to help me with .. the sweat." He had already told Kaj about the sweat, the ritual on the telephone. He just hadn't told Kaj everything about what happened with Eddie. He wasn't sure how too.

"Of course, I.. am.. just..." Kaj breathed out softly and then he murmured against Steve's mouth, "I thought you would have asked.. him." 

Steve shivered, and he wondered why Kaj didn't say his name - Steve's tears slid down his face - he wasn't able to stop them. Steve wasn't able to stop the whimper that escaped his lips either. He breathed out shakily against Kaj's mouth and Kaj let out one of his softly rumbling little growls.

Steve's eyes opened and Kaj said softly, "Why are you frightened, what did he do?"

Tears slid silently down Steve's face - and he just stared up at Kaj, his eyes liquid gold - "Han gjorde mig ondt." He whispered, (He hurt me.) Steve whispered. 

The fear in his scent was so powerful - that Kaj knew it was bad, he just stared at Steve quietly, but he brushed his tears away - "På grund af det, vi gjorde sammen." (Because of what we did together) Kaj's voice was all soft and rumbly. 

"I didn't tell him everything, I just.. I wanted to make him angry, it.. was my fault." Steve whispered, his eyes closed - he turned his head, and he felt Kaj's breath - as he exhaled, hot against his face.

"He told me lies, told me.. he was just playing games with m-me and I believed it." Steve whispered, "I know the truth now, but he hurt me and I don't want him to hurt me..." He was shaking, and his fingers curled against Kaj's body, "I.. couldn't ask him, I can't trust him." Steve whimpered, more tears slid down his face.

Kaj let out a soft rumbling growl in his throat, that made Steve shiver - he looked at Kaj, letting out a soft shaky exhale. 

"He'll never hurt you again." Kaj growled it soft against Steve's mouth, before he breathed out soft against Steve's face - he whispered, "Jeg vil aldrig lade ham røre dig igen." (I will never let him touch you again)

Steve could feel the tremor that made his entire body shiver, and Kaj murmured - "I should have kicked his ass out the fucking door like I wanted too." He whispered, "Because I really, wanted too Wolfie." 

Steve whimpered softly, as Kaj just lifted Steve into his lap and slid his fingers into his hair, "Sweet Lille Ulv.." Kaj murmured it against his mouth, "Can I kiss you again." 

Steve whispered, "Uh-huh you can kiss me Kaj..."

Kaj licked softly at his mouth, and Steve felt the heat in his belly, he licked at Kaj's tongue and then they kissed hungrily - Kaj's fingers curled into his hair and Steve let out a soft moan, his own fingers curled against Kaj's head, stroking the soft buzzed hair. He liked sitting in Kaj's lap - Kaj's kiss left him all breathless. 

Steve whispered against his mouth, "It's not weird hmm.."

Kaj let out a soft rumbly laugh, and Steve smiled a soft little smile.

"No...not weird, I.. could become addicted to your kisses.." Kaj's voice all husky and soft.

Steve whispered, "Mhmm.. I think that I already might be." He was looking at Kaj from under his lashes, but he had undone his braid - and was just lazily loosening it - so his hair was free. 

"You want me to get wildflowers and grass in my hair too don't you?" Kaj's face was all happy, and he laughed as Steve gave him an innocent face.

"Uh-uh no?" Steve kissed his chin, then he nipped softly - but he pushed Kaj back into the grass and tickled him, making Kaj laugh - they rolled around, getting flowers and grass in Kaj's hair as well. 

Steve laughed hard as Kaj tickled him, "No! That wasn't part of this plan - hey..." 

"Ha! Your plan didn't work - well it kind of worked, but I can tickle you now.. hmm lille ulv.." Kaj was laying on his back - Steve let out a soft little squeal as Kaj grabbed him and blew kisses on his bare tummy - "Oh... that tickles." Steve's voice was soft and breathless.

Kaj smirked and he licked softly, and then sucked against Steve's stomach. 

Steve let out a soft moan instead - breathing out heavier, his tummy getting all tight. "Kaj.." His voice all soft and husky, as he tangled his fingers into Kaj's hair.

"Your tummy is so soft." Kaj mumbled softly and he nuzzled his nose, breathing in the sweet scent of Steve's skin - he licked against Steve's happy trail - blowing softly against the wetness.

Steve moaned softly, "Tickles.. Spooky."

Steve stared down at Kaj, who looked up at him and gave him a smirk - "Yeah? Does it still tickle hmm sweet Wolfie." He nipped against Steve's hipbone and sucked and Steve moaned softly, "No.. no that.. doesn't tickle.." 

Kaj breathed out against his stomach and Steve pulled him up, breathing out against Kaj's face - he kissed Kaj, and moaned soft into his mouth. 

Steve stroked his fingers under Kaj's clothes, touching his bare skin - and Kaj shivered, and murmured against his mouth - "You taste so sweet.."

Steve whispered, "You taste delicious.." His cheeks flushed with heat as he blushed and Kaj whispered back, "So do you.."

They stared at each other quietly, sharing their breath - and Kaj murmured - "Steve.."

"Yeah Kaj..." Steve whispered back, shivering as Kaj's fingers stroked against his belly - making him suck his tummy in again. 

"This is okay? Me... touching you like this, you....want me to kiss you?" Kaj's voice was deep and husky, and Steve looked at Kaj from under his lashes as he nodded yes. 

Kaj whispered, "Yes?" He breathed out against Steve's face as he curled his fingers against Steve's stomach.

"Yes... yes Kaj... I.. want you to touch me.." Steve said softly,  "I want you to kiss me.." His voice was raspy and soft - Steve kept his eyes on Kaj's as he curled his fingers against Kaj's hand and pushed his hand down over his cock, "Touch me.." He whispered it against Kaj's mouth.

Kaj kept his eyes on Steve's face, as he cupped his hand over Steve's cock and rubbed it through his sweat pants. Steve breathed out against Kaj's mouth shakily and Kaj murmured - "Yeah? You want me to touch you...like this?"

Steve whispered, "Uh-huh...yeah.." His eyes fluttered closed briefly - and Kaj slid his hand inside, and murmured - "Or like this.." His hand curled around Steve's cock, hot and warm around him - and he stroked slowly, making Steve whimper soft in his throat. 

"Uh-huh.. like that.." Steve whispered, his tongue licking at Kaj's mouth.

Kaj kissed Steve slowly, their tongues stroking together - his thumb teased over the tip of Steve's cock and he gasped out, "F-fuck.." 

"You like that Wolfie, hmm? You have such a pretty cock." Kaj's voice was all husky and deep, and he breathed out hot against Steve's face as he kept stroking, his thumb teasing the tip of Steve's cock again, Steve's cock, twitched in Kaj's hand - leaking and Kaj growled out, "Yeah.. fucking so pretty, your getting all wet for me.." Steve bit down on his bottom lip, heat in his cheeks - because it wasn't just his cock that was wet, Steve shivered - a full body shiver.

Kaj murmured against Steve's mouth, "Is your pussy wet for me too hmm?" 

Steve just stared at Kaj, and he curled his fingers against Kaj's chest - and Kaj growled softly, "...Are you going tell me, or should I just look and find out for myself.."

"Kaj..." He whispered, blushing - and Kaj said softly, "So fucking pretty, I love it when you get all shy..."

Kaj leaned down, and then he whispered - "Can I have a look Wolfie..." Steve whimpered softly, breathing heavier - and Kaj licked at his mouth.

He didn't wait for Steve to say anything - Kaj tugged Steve's pants down, he growled softly, "I can smell you... fuck I know you're wet.." 

It happened fast, Steve was on his belly - face against the grass, and Kaj - he was licking at his pussy, his tongue stroking deep, languid licks, tasting him. Steve moaned "Oh.. my god Kaj, f-fuck.." 

Kaj moaned deep and rumbling, and buried his tongue inside - his tongue burying deep into Steve's body and Kaj held Steve in place - he sucked, and then went back to fucking Steve with his tongue - and Steve was in ecstasy, he curled his fingers into the grass - whimpering, and moaning sweet desperate noises - gasping out, his belly was hot with heat that curled through his entire body. Steve kept getting wetter, and his cock was leaking sticky-wet precum.

Steve was in heaven. Kaj sounded like he was - Steve moaned Kaj's name all dirty and breathless, and Kaj bit against Steve's ass cheek - he buried his tongue again and Steve let out a long, deep keening noise - pleading softly, "Kaj.. Kaj...." 

Kaj breathed out heavy, he was pressed all against Steve's back - and he said huskily, "Yeah Baby.. hmm tell me what you want.." 

Steve moaned softly, "...You... I want you.." He was breathing out all shaky - and Kaj gently rolled Steve onto his back, staring down at him. 

"Wolfie.." Kaj murmured softly against Steve's mouth, "You want me?" He was staring down at Steve, and Steve whispered - "Yeah... I want you, I.. keep thinking about you.." He let his eyes close and Kaj murmured huskily, "About me inside you?"

Steve shivered and he whispered, "Uh-huh.. yeah.."

"I keep thinking about it too.. ever...since.." Kaj's voice was all husky and soft, and Steve opened his eyes - Kaj growled softly, "I ...can't stop thinking about it..." 

Steve whispered, "You can't?"

Kaj brushed his thumb against Steve's mouth, and Steve sucked it softly - "No... I can't stop thinking about you...and that..and how much I want to ..do it again.." Kaj's voice was soft, but he let out a moan as Steve sucked on his thumb. 

"Kaj..." Steve whispered his name and then he murmured against Kaj's mouth - "Please..."

Kaj cradled Steve's face, kissing him deep and slow - leaving Steve breathless with the kiss and then he whispered - "Tell me... say it, tell me what you want... and I'll give it to you sweet lille ulv.." 

Steve whispered against Kaj's mouth, "I...want you inside me.. I want to feel you Kaj... I can't stop thinking about you.. please." He stroked his fingers against Kaj's hair, and then he whispered - "I want... you."

Kaj undid his jeans and pushed them down his hips, he kicked them off - and Steve let out a soft breath, Kaj lifted Steve's hips up around his waist, and Steve let out a soft little breath - Kaj whispered, "Look at me Steve."

Their eyes met, last time - they hadn't been facing each other, Steve's breath caught as Kaj pushed into him - their eyes locked as Kaj's cock slid into his tight wet heat. 

Both of them moaned, and Kaj breathed out against Steve's face - and Steve exhaled, remembering to breath. 

Steve's eyes turned gold, and Kaj whispered - "Der er du." (there you are)

He felt himself get wetter, and Kaj held his hips, pulling him in and Steve whimpered - Kaj rocked into him and Steve just kept his eyes on Kaj's face - "Gem dig ikke for mig." (Don't hide from me) Kaj murmured against Steve's mouth, and Steve felt like Kaj was speaking not just to him, but to his Wolf. Steve felt Kaj slowly ease out, and then thrust back in, his cock making Steve ache - making him crazy and he moaned softly, "Kaj...Brug for mere." (need more)

Kai kissed him, and Steve kissed him back - Kaj's hair fell down around them - and Steve was enveloped in his scent. Their kiss was sweet, passionate - and made Steve whimper into Kaj's mouth. It wasn't rushed, Kaj just took his time with it - making Steve ache, he was making Steve moan - and come apart, and he was addicted to it. Kaj curled his fingers against Steve's legs and drew them a little higher around his body, as he thrust deeper and made Steve cry out. 

Kaj was staring down at him - and Steve's body arched off the ground as Kaj rocked into him - hitting that magic spot, and Steve's eyes rolled into his head - briefly, before he stared at Kaj again, and Kaj said huskily, "You're so beautiful, I... fuck.." He let out a harsher breath, and Steve held onto Kaj's hair - whispering against his mouth breathlessly, "Cum with me, make me cum... you're beautiful too Kaj.. so..cum inside me.. I...like seeing your face, I like.. t-this.. oh.."

Kaj growled softly, "I..do too.. I love seeing your face.. your beautiful.. yeah.." He rocked his hips, driving his cock deeper - harder, they both groaned and Kaj said breathlessly, "Cum for me Baby boy, I wanna see you cum on my cock.." 

Steve whimpered, and Kaj held his hips - digging his fingers in, their eyes locked - Kaj moaned as Steve came against Kaj's skin - his breath hitching as he did - Kaj moaning dirty and soft - "Yeah thats it my sweet lille ulv, come for me.." As Steve came, he felt his pussy flush wet - and Kaj let out a dirty little grunt - rocking his hips, his eyes burned even brighter blue - and Steve's were molten gold, Kaj growled softly, "Mine now lille ulv.." 

His breath hitched, and Steve let out a pained gasp as he felt Kaj's knot - it felt huge. Punching into his pussy - deep in his belly.

Steve just stared up at Kaj. 

Mine now Little Wolf.

Steve's Wolf sang, and he was being pumped full of Kaj's cum - his knot locked in. Steve was cumming again between their bellies - but wet slick from his ass - made his pussy wet around Kaj's knot and his cock. Kaj nuzzled at his throat - and Steve whimpered breathless, the air was punched out of his lungs. 

This was different from last time too. 

Steve arched, his body wanting Kaj's - his head tilting back as he bared his throat. Kaj made a soft, rumbling noise - content and happy - his Wolf sank his teeth into Steve's neck and bit down.

Mine now Little Wolf. 

Steve felt Kaj lick where he'd bitten, and he shivered - Kaj licked at his mouth, and Steve kissed him hungrily - tasting his own blood and Kaj's sweet taste. Kaj breathed out hot, and then he stared down at Steve, and he bared his throat, Steve licked at his skin first - tasting his sweat, and then he growled soft in his throat - Kaj curled his fingers into Steve's hair and Steve sank his teeth in - biting down and Kaj let out a rumbling growl. 

Steve licked the bite and he whispered against Kaj's skin, "Min nu Kaj, Min nu Spooky." (Mine now)

Kaj cradled Steve's face, and they kissed again - Kaj rocked his hips - and Steve whimpered softly in his throat - feeling Kaj's knot as it released more cum. They breathed each others breath, Kaj said softly, "Min nu lille ulv." (Mine now little wolf)

Steve shivered and he pulled Kaj in close, burying his face in against the older man's neck, and Kaj held him in - they were all curled up together hidden in the long grass and wildflowers - the sun shining down on them, and Kaj murmured softly - "...We.. uh might be here for a while." 

Steve whispered against Kaj's neck, "It's okay.. I.. like being where I am." He was all safe and warm where he was, hidden in Kaj's warmth.

"Yeah? I like you being here where you are too.." Kaj's voice all rumbling and soft, he chuckled - "Think anyone will come to look for us?"

Steve pulled Kaj down and he whispered, "Shush.. don't say that or they will.. hide with me Spooky."

Kaj let out a soft little laugh, and he murmured, "Stay hidden and no one will know?"

"Exactly, that.. yes.." Steve whispered, and he brushed his lips against Kaj's throat - "Snuggle with me." He whispered.

Kaj stared down at Steve, who was laying there - playing with some of Kaj's hair, his cheeks flushed - and he looked up at Kaj. 

"What is it?" Steve asked softly, his voice a little sleepy - and he brushed the hair he was holding against his lips. Looking at Kaj from under his lashes, he then brushed it over his eyes. 

Kaj smiled, a soft little smile and then he laid down and said softly, "Nothing... just, thinking how peaceful you look."

"I... feel it, with you - being here... I feel peaceful Kaj." Steve said back softly, "I.. feel it." He snuggled into Kaj's body again, hiding his face in Kaj's neck, he whispered - "Hold me?"

Kaj enveloped Steve with his entire body, and Steve let out a soft, happy little noise in his throat - it sound like a little rumbly purr almost. Kaj made a soft little rumbling contented noise too and he murmured, "My.. sweet lille ulv."

He looked down at Steve, who was asleep - he'd drifted off, still holding Kaj's hair, his lashes kissing his cheeks. Kaj gently pulled some grass out of Steve's hair - he had crushed flowers and grass everywhere, but he was so beautiful. 

Kaj whispered, "Jeg elsker dig, min søde lille ulv." (I love you, my sweet little wolf)

Chapter Text

Steve let out a soft exhale - and looked at Kaj, watching him as he laughed with Jonathan - and the two of them teased Issac who was back. (Steve still thought he had a bit of a crush on Jonathan). Kaj had his hair out, but it was tied back - and his whole face was lit up - his eyes crinkled at the corners because he was laughing. 

Steve bit his lip softly - He is Beautiful. It made him feel a little bit dizzy, and a little bit like he couldn't quite get enough air into his lungs, he burst through his entire body - and Steve felt his legs get all weak. He sat down and let his eyes close. "You alright Stevie?" Robin's voice was soft as she gently took his hand and helped him sit down.

"Y-yeah.. I'm okay." He said softly, his cheeks pink. Robin smiled, her eyes all twinkly - "Vicky went with Lyrena into town - are you excited about the party tonight? Going for a big hunt?" She asked, and Steve looked at her, "Yeah... I am, I... god Robin I really love it here.. I... feel like I'm home."

"I feel like that too, and yet...they're not even my family." She said softly, biting her lip. 

Steve frowned, and then he pulled Robin into his lap - he held her close and he said softly, "You are, you are my family - you're my pack. My sister. I will protect you, I'll keep you safe always." Robin held onto Steve and she said softly, "I wanna be your family, your Sister. I love you Stevie." He said softly, "I love you too." They just sat there, cuddling and Robin said softly - "Did you talk to Kaj?" 

He nodded, "A little - I...didn't go into a lot of detail, I just.." Steve was blushing and Robin looked at him - she let out a soft little laugh and then she whispered, "...Did you guys do it.."

"Robin!" Steve hissed back, but then he nuzzled her throat and whispered, "Yeah.." He breathed out heavily, and he murmured - "It.. he, makes me feel things - and it scares me a little. I don't know what.." Robin gently cupped his face in her hands - "Don't question everything all the time, just... let yourself feel. What feels good. What do you want, what does your wolf want.. you don't have to have answers for everything Stevie.." Robin's voice was soft, her blush was there - but Steve whispered, "Really?"

She nodded, and then said softly - "I... was always so afraid, to ...feel what I felt - when I first met Vicky, I... god Stevie I was so frightened. The first time she kissed me - the first time she touched me, but.. I.. had to stop asking questions, and just let myself feel.. it felt right, it felt good - she doesn't frighten me. She makes me feel alive."

Steve said softly, "Kaj doesn't make me feel frightened at all, he... he makes me feel happy. My wolf... my wolf wants to howl..."

Robin let out a soft little, "Arroooo." And then she giggled and Steve laughed, his voice all raspy as he murmured, "Mhmm.. yeah - its like.. my wolf is, right there - wanting to run free and ...its because of Kaj. Most of them time.. I.. d-don't feel it.. I.. want to hide away."

They were both watching Kaj as he teased some of the rez kids - and then threw a big stick for one of the dogs - "He's lovely, he reminds me of you - the way he is with the dogs, they love him.. but he's just got this gentleness, a kindness. He makes you lighter.." Robin said softly. 

Steve let out a soft exhale - and Jonathan came up the steps - he sat with them both and smiled, "Kaj took some of the kids for a ride on his bike - I think he's officially their number one fan.." Steve laughed, and Robin giggled - "Oh they woulda loved that." She said with a smile, Jonathan nodded - "Hey Robs, do you wanna go and watch some more Cheech and Chong with me?" Jon asked, and Robin grinned, "Yeah definitely.." Issac stomped up the steps - and Jonathan was blushing, Steve whispered to Jonathan - "Is my baby cousin annoying you?"

Jonathan shook his head, and he whispered - "Steve, it.. it's not I mean.." Steve just said softly, "I won't tell anyone if you have a crush Jon." Jonathan looked scared, and Steve said softly - "..I love you Jon, your my best friend, I'm not going to tell anyone - okay?" Jonathan's eyes filled with tears, and he said shakily - "You still love me Steve?"

Steve nodded, and then he hugged Jonathan - the other boy breathed out shakily, and Steve could feel the way he was trembling. "I'm sorry, sorry that I pushed you away." He said quietly. Robin was just watching them, and she gave Steve a soft little smile - Steve gently stroked his hand against her cheek. But then he hugged Jonathan tighter. "I won't tell, and anyway... I.. don't think up here they feel the same way... you know.."

Jonathan breathed out shakily, and he whispered - "But he's only sixteen.. I'm ten years older than him - it."

Steve whispered, "Shush.. don't think about that - its just a crush.. you haven't done anything wrong.. okay? I.. Don't feel bad Jon.. they love you anyway.. Missy and Mama Lyrena.. You should talk to Issy's Mama later, and his.. Dad.. don't.. get upset." Jonathan was blushing deeper - and Issac said softly, "Are you okay Jonah? Hey Stevie." - he was fidgeting, and biting his lip - but then he was playing with Robin's hair and he said, "Girl... your hair is so dry.. want me to give you some of my hair stuff, we can do that later.. Stevie? We still need to braid yours - Lyrena wants to do it tonight.. you down homie-o."

Jonathan wiped at his face and he said softly, "Yeah.. I'm okay Issy, just.. yeah.." He was blushing and the younger man said softly, "Yeah? Good..." Robin had shifted out of Steve's lap and Issac was now standing between her and Steve - he was hovering a little, and Steve said quietly - "Yeah we can do the hair shit later, Do you want a cuddle Issy?" The younger man nodded, and Jonathan and Robin were both smiling. 

Steve held his arms out and the younger man practically jumped into his arms, and then slid into his lap. Steve let out a soft raspy laugh - and Issac muttered softly, "Dude you smell really nice - and your hair is the best hair ever for someone that lives like a white guy." Steve just laughed - "T-thanks?" Issy snorted and then stroked his fingers through Steve's hair, humming softly and Steve wasn't tense, he just let his eyes close. "Your welcome homie-o." The younger man told him.

Kaj made his way up onto the porch - his eyes crinkled at the edges and he said with a chuckle - "Ah... so all the love happens on the porch hmm?" His eyes were all twinkly - and Issac looked at Kaj, "Sup Blue eyes - I'm having my cuddles, finally with my cuz.." Steve let out a soft little rumbling growl - his eyes gold, and Issac grinned - his eyes turned gold too, and Steve's wolf was all happy - Issy said softly, "I can't wait for tonight." Steve nuzzled the younger boys' cheek, and Issy nuzzled Steve.

"Aww, that's so cute.." Robin said softly, pouting - she said "I wanna nuzzle everyone and make happy noises." Kaj chuckled and then he leaned in  close to her and nuzzled her face - Robin giggled softly and  Kaj let out a soft rumble - Robin was blushing prettily and she gave Kaj a soft little kiss on his chin. "You're too sweet." She said softly, hiding her face. "No.. you are too sweet." Kaj said softly and he looked at Steve. 

Jonathan said softly, "Come on - lets go watch our show, you coming puppy?" He said to Issy, who nuzzled Steve's face again and then said - "See you tonight Homie-o." Steve swatted his ass, "Later you little punk." Issy gave him the finger, and then he poked at Kaj's belly, "Later gator." Kaj laughed and then growled at him - "Later you little shit.." They went into the house, and Kaj was still laughing softly, he sat down and looked at Steve, "Hej lille Ulv.." He murmured softly. 

Steve pushed his hair out of his face, and he said softly - "Hej.. you have been taking the rez kids for rides on your bike?"

"Mhmm yeah I did - while you went for a little sleep." Kaj's voice was all soft and rumbly - and it made Steve shiver. He let out a soft exhale, and then Kaj said softly - "I.. don't want to make you upset. But while you were asleep .. I talked to Robin, she told me Steve - told me everything. Told me what he did."

Steve let his eyes close, and he wanted to be angry at Robin - but he wasn't. He stayed quiet - and hung his head - Kaj gently gripped his chin and he whispered, "Don't hide your face from me, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't do anything wrong. He hurt you.... he fucking... hurt you.."

Tears slid silently down Steve's face and he breathed out shakily - Steve felt the softness of Kaj's breath against his face - but he shivered as Kaj murmured, "I will never let him hurt you again." He brushed his mouth softly against Steve's and murmured against his lips, "I wish that I had kicked him out when you pleaded with me to do it.. I should have listened to you. When you said you were scared.. I just.. I thought I was doing the right thing.. I.. never should have gone against my instinct.."

Steve breathed out against Kaj's face, and Kaj murmured - "My Wolf, No....Me, me... Stevie. I...wanted to protect you from him - I'm not... separate from my Wolf. I ...wanted too.. me.." Their eyes met and Kaj whispered, "I always want to protect you.." He brushed Steve's tears away and he whispered, "I want to lay my kill at your feet, ...I want to ...put my pups in your belly... I want to give you a home where your safe... I howl for you Stevie, I... always have."

Kaj's eyes were burning vibrant blue - bluer than ever. 

Steve let out a shaky exhale and Kaj murmured, "I've always... wanted you. I...love you Stevie."

Tears blurred his vision and Steve breathed out shakily, Kaj murmured softly - "I know...that you are scared, that you still don't know how to be at peace with yourself yet - I don't want to push you or pressure you, or make you feel anything that you're not ready for. But I will always be here for you. I'll always protect you... I'll always keep you safe, love you... I'll always do anything you ask me to.. Because I love you. Because your my family, you're everything to me.." 

Steve just stared at Kaj quietly - tears kept siding down his face, "I will always protect you. And I'm never going to let that bastard hurt you again - or anyone else. I won't let him hurt Robin.. I'll kill him first." Kaj's voice was all rough and he gently gripped Steve's chin - "I.. have killed for you, and I'll do it again to protect you." He said softly. 

Steve shivered, and he just breathed out in a rush - he shifted so he was sitting in Kaj's lap - curling his arms around his neck. Kaj didn't say anything - he just wrapped his arms around him and held him closer. Kaj slid his hand against Steve's back, into his hair - and Steve nuzzled his face against Kaj's throat - wanting his scent on his skin. His body was so warm and Kaj let out a soft rumbling growl - he scooped Steve into his arms, and then murmured softly "Lets go to bed."

Steve didn't say no - he didn't object. Kaj carried him through the house - to the room where Kaj was sleeping. And he shut the door.

Kaj laid Steve down and then they just curled up together, Kaj gently stroked Steve's side, and Steve whispered - "...You killed for me?" Kaj murmured, "Ja, hmm... to protect you - we've been in some dicey situations over the years lille ulv.." Steve whispered, "I don't even remember, I... I'm sorry I don't remember Spooky.." Kaj said huskily, "It's okay... hmm.. I remember, and I can tell you all about it.. but lets just cuddle, m'tired... are you tired?" 

Steve nodded, and he whispered - "You're so warm Kaj... I...feel so good with you holding me. I feel safe - I... don't feel on edge or scared.."

"Good, because you don't have to feel on edge, or scared... I'm here lille ulv, I'll protect you.." Kaj murmured, and he kicked off his boots - they landed heavily on the floor, and Steve whispered against his mouth, "...You.. want to lay your kill at my feet?" He was blushing, and Kaj said huskily, "Ja.. hmm.. want.. to lay my kill at your feet and make you.. fat.." He licked against Steve's throat - and Steve let out a soft little moan, shivering and then he whispered - "Make me f-fat?"

"Put my pup in your belly.." Kaj rasped out, "Your...soft, sweet belly.." He stroked his tongue against Steve's throat against and growled softly, "I want... to give you my knot and pump you full of my cum, so I can put my pup in your belly." He was stroking his fingers against Steve's stomach, and Steve gasped out softly - "...C-can.. I have a baby, a pup?" Kaj said huskily, "Ja, ... you.. have the equipment - you.. put on your fur to give birth... the pup is born in its fur, then shifts into its skin.. not born like a human child."

"...So...you.. could give me a pup?" Steve whispered, and Kaj said huskily - "Yes Stevie.."

They stared at each other and Steve whispered, "Oh.." He let his eyes close - his cheeks were pink, his blush having deepened - and Kaj  murmured huskily - "It's why... your pussy gets wet, it gets wet to accept a knot. You want to get pregnant, you want a pup.. your Wolf wants it, you want it..." Steve hid his face against Kaj's throat and Kaj murmured, "I think... its why you wanted to ... keep going even after you healed... you.. were so needy, you wanted it.. you wanted to fuck.."

Steve gasped out softly and he stared Kaj, his eyes were liquid gold - "You...are driven by your instinct, wanting - to get a pup in your belly.." Kaj's voice was all husky and rough, and he breathed in deeply - smelling the heady sweet musk of Steve's scent. 

"So.. so I would.. push - and.. make.. do.. something crazy - just to...get a cock in my pussy?" Steve whispered shakily - He was thinking about how he pushed Eddie - told him that he'd fucked Kaj, made him lose his temper - so Eddie would hurt him. 

"Yes... you'd want it -" Kaj murmured, kissing Steve's throat he whispered - "You told him, but didn't tell him everything, and then he hurt you - you think it was your fault.. he still shouldn't have hurt you Baby, its not okay for him to do that."

Steve whispered tearfully, "I... I'm... I know.. I know it isn't..." He breathed out harshly, and Kaj murmured - "You... hate yourself because you still love him, don't you - you still want him.. even though you know hes a monster, that he's bad for you.."  Kaj stroked his fingers against Steve's cheek, and he whispered - "If he was here right now... you'd still want him to touch you, wouldn't you Baby boy."

Steve let out a sob, and he whispered tearfully - "I would... I would Kaj and I don't want too, I... god.. I know he's bad - he's bad and he has been playing games - he wrote....those things about me.." Steve looked at Kaj, "I... hate him, I hate him - but if he was here, if he was here and he touched me ...." His eyes closed - "He.... would make me his."

Kaj rumbled soft in his chest, and he whispered - "Do you feel that way about me?" He rolled them over and stared down at Steve. Kaj whispered - "Do you want me to make you mine sweet little wolf."

"Yes... I love it when you touch me, you... make me feel safe Kaj, I swear to you.." He whispered it against Kaj's mouth - Steve's fingers stroked his cheek, and he whimpered softly - "He scares me Kaj, he scares me because I lose control... I am dangerous with him, around him - I... I'm so scared."

Kaj said huskily, "The...sweat, the ritual - Lyrena was talking to me about it, it'll help - it'll bring you back to your center, you won't feel so separate from your Wolf. I think he wanted to keep you apart from yourself too. I don't want that.. I want you to be yourself lille ulv.." 

Steve whispered, "I know, I know you do - I... remembered to come here because of you reminding me about my necklace.." He brushed his fingers against the claw and Kaj murmured, "Because I knew it came from here.." Steve nodded and he whispered - "How did you know?"

Kaj whispered, "Because of.. my Papa.. he had one from here too." 

They stared at each  other, and Steve murmured - "What do you mean he had one from here? You... you're from Denmark."

Kaj let go of Steve and he got up off the bed, he went through his bags, but them he pulled out a worn - old wooden box. It had stange runes carved into it - that were obviously very old - they looked like the etchings on Steve's claw. "This has been in my family for a long time.." Kaj said softly, "Was the last thing I have from my parents, before... they.. were killed." His voice was soft, "I.. had a letter from Papa - it was kept in a safety deposit box - Stevie I think whoever killed my parents? They were looking for this... he told me that it was important, and old.."

Kaj opened the box, and Steve whispered - "Oh.. wow." The claw was like ivory, pure white - and had the same type of Etchings as Steve's. Steve took his one off from around his neck - and when he put it together with Kaj's, the two pieces locked together to form one bigger claw. They stared at each other and Steve whispered, "I only ever had half. You... had the other half."

Kaj let out a soft breath, and then he picked up the two pieces - and he put them both around Steve's neck. "lys og skygge samlet." (light and shadow made whole) 

Steve looked at Kaj, and his eyes burned liquid gold, but dark shadow curled around Steve's body - and Steve felt like his body was vibrating, Kaj's rumbling growl made Steve tremble and he let out a soft, keening noise in his throat - he felt his fangs elongate out in his mouth, and his nostrils flared - Kaj whispered - "What are you doing...lille ulv.. Du mister kontrollen" (you are losing control)

He pulled his shirt off, and then his pants - and Steve was naked - his skin rippling, he bit down on his lip - tasting blood - and Kaj growled softly, breathing in Steve's scent - "Kaj.." Steve moaned his name softly - and he pulled Kaj into his body, breathing in Kaj's scent he whispered, "Jeg er sulten, jeg vil have dig." (I feel hungry, I want you)

Kaj whispered, "My ...father knew that his Claw came from here lille Ulv, he told me it did - they both came from here, we.... have to ask Missy and Lyrena about it.." Steve said huskily, "We will... we will I promise.. Kaj.." He whispered, "Take your clothes off... Kaj... please.."

Kaj murmured, "Ja... okay Baby... sweet little wolf." He stripped off - and Steve moaned softly as their bare skin met - Steve crawled over the top of Kaj - and he whispered, "I'm hungry... I want you, I want you Kaj.." He kissed Kaj hungrily, and Kaj growled in his throat - Steve moaned into their kiss, they kissed desperately, and Kaj pulled Steve's body down, his cock pushing into Steve's wet heat - he was so wet, that when Kaj's cock pushed in, it made a wet, dirty squelching noise - making then both moan. 

Steve clenched tight - and Kaj moaned dirtily, "Oh fuck your pussy is so wet.." Steve moaned and stared down at Kaj - and he rocked his body, riding Kaj slowly - Kaj lifted himself up - and they held each other, Steve gasped out against Kaj's mouth - "You...feel so good, so good.. you're filling me up, your cock is so big Kaj.." He whimpered softly as Kaj bucked his hips - and Kaj groaned dirty and soft against his ear, "Yeah? You like my cock, I like your sweet pussy, oh fuck.. I'm addicted to your pussy Wolfie, hmm.. I could fuck you all day.. all night.."

Steve let out a high pitched little whimper - which made him blush - because he'd never made such a noise in his life.

Kaj growled deeply and then he got Steve on his hands and knees - all pressed in against his back - and he eased out - burying himself deep - they were fucking like they did that first time in the woods - hard and deep and fast, and Steve was crying out - begging for more, pleading with Kaj to keep fucking him. Kaj did - he rocked his hips - driving himself deeper, harder - pounding Steve into the mattress. They were sweaty, and breathless - and moaning together, lost in their pleasure.

In the Livingroom - Robin, Jonathan and Issac eventually left the house - because all they could hear was the screams and noises from Kaj and Steve. Just when they thought it was all over - it would start all over again. Issac said cheekily - "Yeah when Wolves do it apparently, it goes on forever.. I don't know though.. you know cos I've never done it before."  Robin was blushing like a tomato and she said softly, "Shush Issy... jeez Louise." Jonathan mumbled, "Shall we go for a drive or something..."  They left the house.

~***~

They had spent all day in bed - and Steve was sore, but he didn't care - they kept touching each other, addicted to it - Steve couldn't resist Kaj's touch, he'd brush his fingers against Steve's skin - and it would make him ache, make him crazy. It's why they'd stayed in bed - every time they'd tried to leave, they wound up right back where they'd started. At some point they had fallen asleep together - Kaj had been buried inside Steve, and he'd woken up - more than once with Kaj fucking into him. Sweet and tender - and hard and deep - and they just couldn't stop. 

Steve's body ached, his eyes were liquid gold - they hadn't returned to their chocolate brown. And every sense was heightened - he felt happy, he felt sad - he felt everything on hyper alert, hyper - state. They had taken a shower together, and Kaj had been buried inside him again - Steve had Kaj silence his cries with kisses as he knotted him - they'd ended up back in bed again till Kaj's knot eased and then they'd finally gotten dressed. 

Missy was her usually mischievous, twinkly eyed self - "So my Grandson, you've been busy today hmm? You and Blue-eyes.." She gave them both a knowing smirk - and Steve said softly, "Nanny.." She laughed and Kaj said softly, "...Sorry.. guys if.." Everyone just laughed and Lyrena kissed Kaj's temple, then she kissed Steve and said softly ,"Love and passion is nothing to apologize for.." Steve was blushing and he said softly, "Mama, Grammy.." He showed them the claw with the addition of Kaj's - and Missy just nodded - she looked at Kaj, ".. You're descended from Father Wolf, you..are.. him."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and he bit his lip - Kaj said softly, "...In our tales at home - its the first Skyggeulv, is that the same thing?" (Shadow wolf) - Lyrena said, "Probably yes, but Father Wolf, is the Father of our kind - but he is Shar's mate - she is our Mother, the goddess, ..." Lyrena looked at Steve, and then she looked at Kaj - "Steve's claw.. is Shar's claw... he is Shar.."

Kaj let out a soft exhale, and he looked at Missy - "You are a White wolf? It's ...a legend of the white wolf with eyes that don't go to sleep - he's the Father Wolf, he's Shar's mate.. we knew soon as you said you were white.. there's no white wolves up on this mountain.." His eyes burned brighter, and Kaj reached out, interlacing his fingers with Steve's - "...So.. what other stories are there.." He asked softly.

Steve felt Kaj hold his hand in both of his, and his golden eyes burned brighter - Kaj's burned brighter blue, and Lyrena said softly - "You've been separated for moons, many moons -  the prophecy of the shadow moon, talks about you both being reunited and Shar restoring the Shadow World to her children." Missy put an extra piece of cake on Steve's plate, and he looked at her - she took his other hand, her little weathery hand, stoking his lovingly. "Eh Grandson... hmm you are still a goddess, na skasketchwa notiseka naha neh he." She let a soft laugh out - and Steve blushed and said softly, "Maseske wa nateska lolalhahei mehamasket."

Kaj and Lyrena didn't know what they were saying to each other, but Missy said softly - "Yeah, you got the idea my wise one - you were supposed to come, both of you... both of you - were meant to find your way to each other again. The dark one that seeks you ... he is dangerous for you my grandson - you already know that... he can make you go on a dark path. But.. you can choose a different one too. He still works his dark medicine... he will keep doing it.. he's part of your shadow... part of you... he's dangerous, you have two paths - and two potential mates - I'm sorry Blue eyes, you have a fight on your hands."

Kaj breathed out softly, and Missy said softly - "Blue-eyes, you..are his mate - but so is the dark one..."

Steve let out a shaky breath and he whispered tearfully - "I... I'm scared Nanny.... he... the dark one, he..." Lyrena moved closer, and she curled her arms around Steve - he breathed in her comforting scent, and he let out a sob, "Mama... mama he scares me so bad, he.... gets into my head, into my ....he... has ever since I was a little boy... he... he has ever since I was little.. and I do, I love him.. I'm so sorry Kaj, I... don't want too I know how bad he is, I know how dark he is - but I still love him... I... it makes me sick, I am so scared..." 

Kaj tensed up and he said huskily, "He's... been ..doing this since you were a pup?"

Steve nodded and he whispered - "He... lived with us... at our house when I was little - in a trailer... he.. he was always kind to me, sweet to me... he... would touch me, I liked it.." Steve looked like he was staring off into space - and Missy's eyes met Kaj's, she said softly - "He's been working his dark medicine on you since you were a little boy, you're both obsessed with each other - its like a sickness. Its why you can't say no to him, why you don't want to say no to him."

Missy looked at Kaj, "You're going to have a hard time Blue-eyes, you and little Wolf are Mates - but... this dark one? He has the potential to take that title from you. They're bound in Darkness - in sacrifice - bound in blood, and obsession. Bound in Shadow. Like that claw? You're the light, he's the dark - Shar is the thing that binds it all together."

Steve was holding onto Lyrena, and he whispered shakily - "I...I'm scared." Kaj moved his chair closer to Steve's and he said softly, "I won't let him hurt you, I won't let him hurt anyone - I promise you lille ulv.' He breathed out shakily, and Lyrena stroked her fingers into Kaj's hair - "...When we do the sweat, it'll make you Stronger, both of you - your bond, your connection, and the more time you spend together it will make you stronger too." She said softly. 

Steve lifted his head, looking up at her - and he said softly - "Eddie... he wanted us to get married, to have a handfasting - was... it just to make me weaker and him stronger." Lyrena nodded yes, tears in her eyes and she said softly, "You... need to be stronger my sweet Baby, it sounds like everything this... Eddie was doing was to make you weaker and more reliant on him." Steve nodded and he whispered, "It... was Mama.." He breathed out shakily, and she said softly - "Everything that we do my sweet baby, will make you stronger - will give you back your power." Lyrena stroked Kaj's hair, "It will make you both stronger."

Missy shifted in her seat, and then she held out her hand - "Come with me, both of you.." They both took her hands, and she said softly, "Rena, get the vodka out the freezer Baby girl." Lyrena smiled and said softly, "Yes Ma'am." They made their way into the Livingroom and Missy sat down on the soft cushions, "Turn that television off my grandbabies." Jonathan turned it off - and Missy said, "All of you come and sit. This is important." Jonathan sat next to Missy, Lyrena sat curled up behind him and Kaj - her warmth surrounding Steve. Vicky and Robin sat down and Issy sat next to Jonathan.

"Alright.." Missy said softly, "Stevie, my wise one.." He looked at her - and she smiled, her twinkly eyes full of love. "You can bite them... these three.." She looked at Jon, Robin and Vicky. "Give them the bite and they'll shift, they'll become pale ones - bound to the moon, but still Wolves, you give them the bite with your shadow - and they'll become Uratha, you have the power to change them into Us."

Steve's eyes widened, and Lyrena curled her fingers into his hair. Kaj said softly - "It's... a big thing, a big decision." 

Missy nodded, and she said - "Yes you're right Blue-eyes." She looked at Steve - "But, its how you protect your pack, your family - Robin is your sister - this - this is how you make it so she is." Robin had tears streaming down her face, and she looked at Steve - Steve was just staring at her intently - "Grandson, you'll be able to do it and make it strong, the connection - once you've done the sweat, we should get that underway as soon as possible... tomorrow if you are ready... you and Kaj.."

Steve looked at her, "Yes Nanny, tomorrow.." Kaj held his hand - and he looked at Kaj - "....Are you ready Kaj.." He whispered - Kaj murmured softly, "Always lille ulv.." He gently gripped Steve's chin and pulled him in closer, kissing him softly. 

He looked at his three friends, and he said softly - "...If you want too, if... you want me to... I'll give it to you.." Jonathan looked at him - and he said softly, "Stevie? Can we talk in private for a moment...I wanna ask you something.." Steve let out a soft exhale, and he whispered - "Okay.. Jon." He stood up - and Robin curled her arms around him, "Yes, yes I want it - I want to be your pack, your sister - always Stevie, I ... love you, I can protect you from him, from that monster.... yes a thousand times...yes.."

Steve held her tightly, and he closed his eyes - he breathed in her scent, sunshine and she whispered - "I love you Stevie, I love you."

"I love you too, my sunshine girl." His voice was soft - and his eyes met Vicky's - she curled her arms around them both, and she said softly - "Robin's my mate, I don't do anything that she doesn't do - I want to be your family, your pack - your sister too Stevie, my angel.. so yes - me too please?" She had tears in her eyes and Steve said softly, "Of course - my sisters, both of you." They cuddled tighter and then Steve whispered, "I love you both, both of you so much." 

He looked down at Kaj, and he stared up at Steve - Steve let out a soft breath, and then he held his hand out for Jon. Steve had a feeling he knew what Jonathan wanted to talk about - and it scared him, because he knew he couldn't lie to him. Not anymore - not if he was going to become his family, his pack.

They went into the bedroom together, and Jonathan said softly - "You know what happened to Nancy." It wasn't a question - and Steve said softly - "Yes..."

"What happened.." Jonathan asked softly - and Steve pushed his hair behind his ear, he stared at Jonathan - and Jonathan stared up at him. 

"I killed her." He said quietly, calmly - he didn't break his eye contact with Jonathan - and strangely, Jonathan didn't look away from Steve. "And... he Eddie - did he help you?"

Steve let out a soft breath, "He helped bring her to me, but... I'm the one that hunted her down and tore her to pieces... I'm the one that killed her Jonah... I did it...  because I wanted too. I hated her." He stepped closer to Jonathan and he said softly, "She took you from me, she hurt me... she was never good for you - and she pissed me off.." Jonathan let out a soft exhale, and he whispered - "...But where is she..."

"I ate her." Steve said softly, Jonathan's eyes widened - and Steve slid into Jonathan's lap - he whispered, "And I fed the rest of her to my dogs.."

"You...a-ate her.." Jonathan whispered, and Steve nodded - he breathed in Jonathan's scent, which was a mixture of fear - and excitement, and love. "Sweet puppy..." Steve murmured softly, "You...are relieved, you're relieved Jonah... you're happy that I killed her... why, why are you relieved Baby tell me the truth?" He cradled Jonathan's face and Jonathan said shakily, "Because I knew Stevie... I knew she never loved me... I caught her with him... the guy she was cheating on me with... they were in our bed, she... was planning on leaving me, she would make fun of me... I.. sometimes I couldn't get hard, she... would call me names.."

Jonathan started to cry and Steve held him close, "It's okay, its okay now she can't hurt you anymore... not anymore sweet puppy.." Jonathan cuddled Steve tightly and he whispered - "You really killed her?" Steve murmured softly, "I promise you, she's dead Jonah.. she can't hurt you ever again - you're free... you can love whoever you choose to love... like Issy.. you like Issy don't you sweet puppy, hmm?" Jonathan whimpered softly, and he whispered - "I do Stevie... I really like him, he's so sweet - and... he makes me feel good."

"So... do you want to be my pack, my brother - my best friend? My best boy, like how Robin is my best girl?.. Maybe Issy is your mate Jonah, hmm? You.. and him... he'll be able to give you everything you need if you're a Wolf like him.." Jonathan said tearfully, "You want me... to be your pack?"

"Of course I do, I do.." Steve said softly, and then he whispered - "Do you want me to bite you now?" 

Jonathan nodded and then he bared his throat - Steve whispered, "My sweet little puppy, I love you Jonah.." He stroked his fingers into Jonathan's hair and then he gripped it tightly and sank his fangs deep into Jonathan's shoulder, the soft space between his shoulder and neck - Jonathan let out a soft little whimper - and Steve's eyes burned liquid gold, but then he pushed shadow out through his skin, and it curled around Jonathan's body, and sank down into his skin. 

Steve cradled Jonathan against his body and they laid their quietly together, Jonathan breathed out shakily - and then he looked at Steve, and his eyes suddenly burned vibrant vivid green - Steve whispered, "Oh your eyes are pretty sweet puppy, they're green.." Jonah whispered back, "I can hear your heart beating... I can hear Issy's heart beating Stevie.."

Steve licked Jonathan's face, and Jonathan whimpered softly, and then he nuzzled Steve's face - and whispered, "You smell so good, so good Stevie - like home, like home and... pack.. safety... home.." He whispered again and Steve let out a rumbling soft growl. Jonathan growled back and then Steve growled deeper, and Jonathan breathed out softly - Steve shifted into his fur - and so did Jonathan.

He was grey, he was bigger than Steve - and his fur was all shaggy and soft. Steve wagged his tail and Jonathan wagged his - bouncing together Steve nipped and then licked at Jonathan's muzzle - Jonathan said into his head, This is fucking awesome - look at... us..

Jonathan was staring at them in the mirror - and he leapt on Steve and they were whining and playing - and Steve let out a soft sweet howl - and Jonathan joined in - from the Livingroom, Kaj's scent got a lot stronger - and Jonathan said, Is that Kaj? He's... so protective Stevie - he loves you, so much.

Steve whined softly and then he said to Jonathan, He loves you too - he loves us because we're his pack - Steve shifted back into his skin, and so did Jonathan - "...we should have pants on." They both laughed softly, and Steve shrugged - "You kinda... get used to it, being naked.. you know." Jonathan laughed softly and he put a pair of Steve's pants on - they went back out to the Livingroom, and Steve said softly, "Jonny is my first packmate, after Kaj..." 

Kaj grinned, and he said huskily - "I thought I could smell it.." He wrapped his arm around Jonathan's shoulders and then gave him a kiss on the temple. Kaj's eyes landed on Steve - and then he pulled him in closer and he murmured, "You.. smell good.." Steve whispered, "So do you, naughty boy." He kissed him softly - and then he added, "..Robin, Vicky... you still want the bite?" Jonathan was showing them his bite scar... and both girls looked at Steve. 

"Yes I still do." Said Vicky, and she looked at Robin - Robin curled her body into Steve's and she said softly - "Yes Stevie..." He nodded and he said softly - "Okay.. then lets do it now.."

Lyrena said softly, "Kaj do you wanna help me get some stuff out of the car for the shin-dig tonight?" Kaj said huskily, "I can definitely do that Mama.." She smiled, and whispered to him - "Are you trying to give me a grandbaby.." He murmured back softly, "Mhmm.. yeah.." She laughed softly, and Steve blushed - "Kaj..." He said huskily, "Yes lille ulv?"

Steve said softly, "Hush..." Kaj just grinned at him and Jonathan laughed softly. 

Missy said to Jonathan, "Sweet boy, come and help Grammy - you too Issy you little shit.." Issac said, "What? Why am I a little shit? What did I do?" Missy growled at him, "You're already having thoughts about knocking up sweet Jon - he's been a wolf for five minutes... goddamn it." Issac was blushing bright red - and so was Jonathan - "I didn't say a goddamn thing Grammy!" Issac squawked out, and Missy said, "I hear your thoughts Boy! I Hear them all!"

Steve let out a soft laugh, and Jonathan whispered, "Oh hell.." Missy shook her head - "It's okay Jonny.. he's a punk - just ignore him. Little shit - get in the kitchen! You have to at least date him - for fucks sake! You can't just knock him up!" Vicky and Robin both giggled, and Steve looked at them - "...Do you think he really does.. wait how do boy wolves get pregnant?" Vicky asked Steve - he led them both into the bedroom and he said softly - "Kaj.. said we have the right equipment inside, we.. give birth in our fur." He was blushing and Vicky said softly, "Oh.. so.. you could get pregnant.."

He nodded, and Robin said softly - "Holy shit, you.. could get pregnant Stevie.. do you want a baby?" He whispered, "Robin.."

Both girls looked at him and he said softly, "I... wanted Eddie's pup in my belly." They both looked at him with sad faces, and he whispered - "I.. am a fool." Steve let his eyes close and he whispered, "I'm.. strong when he's not near me... I... I have to be strong, stay strong. I have to keep being strong.. when we go home.." He felt sick at the thought of going back - Steve opened his eyes, and then he said shakily, "I.... don't know if I want to go home.." 

Robin and Vicky both looked at him, and Vicky stroked her fingers against his cheek. "You don't have to think about that right now sweetheart, just... enjoy the time here with your family, we'll be your family now too..." Steve nodded, and Vicky said softly - "I'm ready, so is Robin..." He nodded, and then he nuzzled Vicky's throat, breathing out softly - he felt her shiver as he licked against the same spot that he'd bitten Jonathan, and then he sank his fangs in, biting - and pushing his shadow into her skin. Robin was watching them both, and Steve lapped the bite with his tongue - letting out a deep rumbling growl, and Vicky's eyes burned a soft golden amber - like fire, like the color of her hair. 

Steve smelt her scent, and she breathed in deeply - and whispered "Oh wow - everything is so much sharper, louder - smells so much.. more. Stevie.." He nuzzled her face, and murmured huskily - "My little sister.." Vicky whimpered softly - and whispered, "My brother." Tears welled up in Robin's eyes and she said softly - "Stevie... my turn?" He breathed in the sweet scent of Vicky and then he patted his lap, and Robin slid into his lap and he murmured softly, "Your turn my sunshine girl." 

Robin made a soft little noise and Steve nuzzled her cheek first, then he buried his face in against her throat - breathing her scent in, Robin curled her fingers into his hair - and Steve kissed her skin, that same spot. His liquid golden eyes burned vibrantly as he looked at Vicky, and she sat quietly - he let his eyes close and then his fangs elongated out again, and he bite down into the softness of Robin's skin. She whimpered softly - and he whispered into her head, I know it hurts Baby girl - I'm sorry.

She held onto him, and Steve pushed his shadow - it curled around Robin and then sank down into her body - his eyes burned brighter, and Robin breathed out shakily - her own fangs elongated out straight away, and she bit down against Steve's neck. He let out a soft little rumbling growl - and so did Robin. Her eyes were liquid gold like Steve's - the same color. She whimpered softly, a sweet puppy whimper and Steve let out a deep rumbling growl, and it triggered Robin shifting into her fur. Steve did too - and they both stood there, on their paws - breathing each others scent in. Robin almost looked like an exact replica of Steve.

Same inky black fur - the same golden eyes, the only difference was that she had a streak of rust red fur running down her side from the right side of her head. It almost looked like she'd been kissed by fire. They wagged their tails, and then Vicky said softly - "How do I..." Steve let out another deep rumbling growl - and Vicky whimpered, and then she was suddenly in her fur with them. Vicky was a stunning wolf - she was rust red - her fur like fire. Robin whimpered softly and nuzzled into Vicky, the two of them rubbing against each other, and Steve let out a happy little growl, and then they were both nuzzling him. 

I love you both. My baby girls. Steve told both Robin and Vicky.

I love you Stevie, so so much. Robin told him as she licked at his muzzle.

This is the coolest shit ever, holy shit - what is that smell, I'm hungry - oh my god I'm starving. Is that Issac? Why does he smell like cookies. No that's Jon.. Jon smells yummy. No wait that's you Stevie.. Vicky's thoughts were racing and all over the place.

Steve let out a rumbling soft growl - it sounded like he was laughing, because he actually was. Vicky giggled inside their heads and Steve licked her muzzle, and Robin rubbed herself up against him and licked at his muzzle. They all were licking each other - and then Kaj came into the room, he was in his fur - and he brushed up against Steve - but nuzzled into both of the girls, Robin said, Oh holy shit Kaj - you're huge... and oh so pretty.. 

Why thank you, you're both pretty too - nice fur Vick. I can't wait to run tonight - now all of us can run together... Kaj said, before he licked at Steve's muzzle and Steve whimpered softly, he wagged his tail - and both of the girls trotted out of the room, Vicky said I think we'll go back to our room so were' not naked.. we'll come back get our clothes later sweet wolf.

Steve wagged his tail, and Kaj's blue eyes stared at him. He pounced on Steve and Steve whined softly - they both shifted back into their skin and Kaj laughed softly, Steve said breathlessly, "Hej.." Kaj murmured, "Hej yourself pretty Boy.." Steve stared up at Kaj, and they both just stared at each other quietly. Kaj stroked his thumb over Steve's bottom lip - "...Are you happy you have your friends as your pack now sweet little wolfie?"

He nodded, and Steve said softly - "Yeah.. I'm happy, I'm happy your here too Kaj.." He whispered, "Your...happy Kaj?"

Kaj murmured, "Yeah Wolfie, I'm happy - and I'll be even happier when we've done the sweat, .. when you feel more connected to yourself. You feel it already being here, I know you do - giving Jon, Robin and Vicky the bite... its all bringing you closer to your wolf.. to yourself."

Steve nodded, and Kaj whispered against his mouth - "...And me?"

"Yes Kaj... and you, being with you is making me feel more connected to myself... and to everything. I.. feel good Kaj - I can't wait for tonight. I.. want to hunt with you, I want..." He breathed out shakily, and he whispered, "I want to lay.. my kill at your feet.."

Tears welled up in Kaj's eyes, and he whispered - "You do hmm? Ja? You want me to lay my kill at your feet too?"

"Yes, I do want that... my pretty Spooky.." Steve whispered - he cradled Kaj's face in his hands - and he placed soft sweet kisses against Kaj's face, "Min søde spøgelse." (my sweet spooky)

Kaj breathed in Steve's scent as he buried his face against Steve's throat, and Steve curled his arms around him - holding him close. They both just laid there quietly together, and Kaj murmured against his skin, "...I.. will tonight lille ulv, lay my kill at your feet..." He whispered it and Steve shivered - curling his fingers against Kaj's back- stroking his silky hair. He whispered, "Kaj?"

"Ja Min smukke ulv." (yes my beautiful wolf) Kaj was kissing his throat, and Steve let out a soft little rumble. 

"Can I braid your hair?" Steve asked softly. Kaj murmured, "Yes Baby... hmm you can braid my hair.." He gently gripped Steve's chin - and then he shifted - smirking as he pulled Steve into his lap. "Let's just stay stay naked." He muttered softly, and Steve laughed, "You want to stay naked while I braid your hair?"

"So I can touch your sweet ass.." Kaj muttered softly, leaning in to kiss Steve's shoulder - and Steve let out a soft laugh, "Silly spooky.." He said softly. Steve pressed himself in closer - and they kissed sweetly, Kaj murmured, "I... can't believe I can touch you like this... Steve, I... have wanted this, you... for so long, I... wanted you.." He brushed his thumb against Steve's lip and Steve whispered, "You did?" Kaj nodded and he whispered, "Dying to love you... always lille ulv..."

Kaj breathed in deep, and Steve whispered - "You never....told me Kaj.." Kaj said huskily, "I...didn't think I'd ever be able too..." He brushed his lips against Steve's jaw and whispered - "I love you min lille ulv... I...want... you to be min... all min.." Steve let out a soft gasp as Kaj suddenly bit him, sinking his fangs in - it was a claiming bite, and Steve whimpered softly, tilting his head instinctively - "Du vil have, at jeg skal være din." Steve said breathlessly. (You want me to be yours)

Kaj growled softly, "Ja, Alt mit, alt mit for evigt." (All mine, all mine forever.)

Steve whispered, "Forever?" He let out a soft breath as Kaj laid him back against the bed and growled softly, "Yes...forever.." Kaj spread Steve's legs with his and then he pushed into Steve's body slowly, his cock hard, and Steve whimpered softly - Kaj whispered, "Mine... min lille ulv.. alt mit for evigt.." (my little wolf, all mine forever) He rocked his body slowly, and Steve moaned softly, "Yes... your little wolf... yours Kaj, forever..." 

They kissed deeply, passionately and Steve whimpered into Kaj's mouth as he rocked his hips, driving Steve's up - arching him off the bed. They made love slowly, torturous - Kaj making Steve moan sweetly for him, their dance was erotic - passionate, and Kaj whispered against Steve's skin - "Min smukke gudinde, jeg tilbeder dig. Jeg vil elske dig for evigt, jeg vil dræbe for dig." (my beautiful goddess, i worship you. I will love you forever, I will kill for you)

Steve cried out softly, they both pushed each other to the edge - "Min alt for evigt.." Steve whispered back, (all mine forever). 

Kaj felt Steve cum against his belly, he felt his pussy flood with wet - and Kaj growled huskily - as his knot locked into place inside Steve for the third time that day. He rocked Steve's hips, and Steve whimpered breathlessly, cumming again - and Kaj growled huskily as he came deep inside Steve's body, his knot pumping cum inside him. Steve whispered breathlessly against Kaj's mouth, "Kaj... Kaj..." He was sobbing softly, overwhelmed by all his emotions - and Kaj said huskily, "I love you... I love you min lille ulv...mine... mine for evigt.. min nu.." (Mine forever, mine now..)

"I love you too..." Steve whispered tearfully, clinging to Kaj - they were still locked together, Steve whispered - "I Love you... Kaj... min nu.. min nu.. my sweet Spooky.." 

Kaj breathed out against Steve's face, his knot pumping more cum into Steve as he let out a deep rumbling growl, cradling Steve's head he felt his entire body tremble as Steve whispered against his mouth, "Min far-ulv.." (My Father-Wolf) Kaj's eyes burned even brighter - and he suddenly shifted into his fur - losing control, and Steve whimpered - tangling his fingers into soft, white silky fur - Kaj was horrified at himself, but Steve just clung to him and whimpered softly, "Min nu... min nu..." He clenched his tight pussy around Kaj's wolf-cock, around his knot - and Kaj' howled - it was deep and sweet and he rutted, fucking into Steve harder, his knot pumping more cum - so much that it was leaking out of Steve wetly. 

Steve was panting, breathless - in pain - and grunting softly, "Y-yes.. yes ...more.. more.." Kaj couldn't get his control back - he just kept rutting into Steve' whining softly - Steve held onto him and cried out softly, "Yes. Kaj...more.. more.." You...like this... you like me fucking you in my fur?

Steve cried out - and came hard - his pussy flooding around his cock - wetting the bed underneath them, the scent of his sweet musk made Kaj lose it even more - he just kept cumming - thick, creamy ropes of cum, he shifted back into his skin, and Steve was sobbing - biting at him and clawing up his back - shredding Kaj's back up - and he loved it. He growled and kissed Steve possessively, Steve moaned out, "...I want more... don't... stop don't stop.... don't you fucking stop.." Kaj said wrecked, "Never, never... min nu..." 

Steve sobbed, gasping for breath - "It... it hurts so good... so good.. oh..fuck.." Kaj was hurting too but he didn't care either. Steve laid there catching his breath, and Kaj laid against him - they both were breathless, and Steve had his eyes closed. "I love you..." Steve whispered, and Kaj said huskily, "I love you too.." They kissed again, and they both let out a little sigh of relief as Kaj's knot eased, Steve whimpered softly, and Kaj murmured - "Need me too?" Steve whispered, "Yes please...Kaj..." He eased out and Steve whimpered - but they curled up together, and Steve was blushing - "Jesus...I...made a mess..." 

Kaj smirked and he whispered, "Hmm.. s'fucking sexy.." 

"Shut up.." Steve said softly, but he kissed Kaj and whispered, "You're fucking sexy."

Kaj laughed softly and mumured, "So are you lille ulv. Beautiful and sexy.." 

They kissed softly, and Steve whispered - "I feel exhausted - I think you killed me." Kaj smirked and he whispered - "I am already dead lille ulv... you kill me long ago.." 

Steve let out a soft, raspy laugh and he drawled softly, "Oh... did I hmm?"

Kaj murmured, "Yes... long time ago.. Beautiful Baby." Steve said softly, "You sleepy sweet Spooky?" 

"Yes... sleepy, but very happy.." Kaj said softly, and he kissed Steve's throat - whispering, "Sleep for a little bit? Come closer to me lille ulv.." Steve snuggled in close, and he whispered, "The beds all wet and messy..." Kaj said huskily, "I don't care, you come sleep in my arms...my baby - I'm not letting you go." Steve curled up happily, and Kaj made a soft rumbly contented noise - Steve stared at him, and he whispered, "Kaj.."

Kaj still kept his eyes closed, and he said huskily - "Ja min lille ulv." (yes my little wolf)

"You never let me go, or leave... I... really like it.. really like it - I... don't like being alone." He whispered, like he was telling Kaj a secret. 

Kaj said huskily, "I know this already Wolfie, you've always been this way - even when we were kids. You always liked to be close to me, even then.. I was always happy to stay with you, be close with you.. hold you.."

Tears welled up in Steve's eyes - because it was true. Kaj had always been the one person, that never ever left him - or made him feel alone. Ever since they had met - Steve curled into Kaj's body and he whispered, "Min nu...min for evigt." (Mine now, mine forever.) Kaj said huskily, "Mine now, mine forever ... always Steve, always.." Kaj was looking at Steve - and he whispered, "I love you.." He brushed Steve's tears away, and Steve whispered shakily - "I love you too..." Kaj rumbled softly, and he cradled Steve's head - kissing him sweetly he whispered - "No more tears my sweet little wolf, sleep now - later we'll hunt.... later I'll lay my kill at your feet..." 

Steve shivered, and Kaj stroked his fingers over Steve's chest - then lower, over his belly and Steve shivered - Kaj whispered against his lips, "...I'll keep making love to you, burying myself inside you...I'll give you a pup in your belly... sweet little Wolf.. min ulv...you want that... don't you.. hmm? Want me to put my Pup inside you.." Steve whimpered softly, and Kaj whispered - "I want to see your belly round with my pup inside, you'll look beautiful.. soft little baby bump.." Steve shivered and Kaj murmured - "...Beautiful... I'll build you a sweet little den for you to give birth to our pup.. somewhere safe, and warm.. do you want that sweet Baby?"

Steve had tears in his lashes - his breath was all shaky, and he rasped softly - "Uh-huh...yes, yes I want that... Kaj.." Kaj pulled Steve under his body, enveloping him into his body and his head - protecting him, and he said huskily, "I'll do it, all of it for you... my sweet little wolf.." Steve curled up and Kaj whispered, "If you want to come and live here Steve, you and me.... and our little pup - we can do that, I'll live where ever you want to live, ... if you want to live here, with all of your pack, I'll do that too." Steve's eyes were molten gold as he looked up at Kaj - Kaj's hair fell down around them, and he let out a soft little growl, Kaj growled back, and Steve whispered against Kaj's mouth, "Home."

Kaj whispered, "Du er hjemme, jeg er hjemme hos dig. Og her er vi hjemme." (You are home, I'm home with you. And here we are home.) Kaj knew that in that moment, Steve's human side wasn't very present. He was speaking to Steve's Wolf side - the most important part of Steve. Steve's Wolf was safe though - and his Golden eyes never left Kaj. "Home, you... mine, my Home." Steve said softly, and he let out a soft little growl and then he whispered, "Safe, with you." 

"You are, you are safe with me, my sweet little Wolfie, always... We are each others home. We always have been." Steve whispered, "Where is Eddie?"

Kaj frowned, and he murmured - "He isn't here."

Steve looked at Kaj, he whispered - "He hurt, hurt me."

Kaj nodded and he whispered - "He's not here... I won't let him hurt you.."

Steve looked at Kaj and whispered - "I....don't want him to hurt us.. he always leaves us. He hurt us bad this time, I couldn't heal it."

Kaj said softly, "But you did... I won't let him hurt you anymore - we're going to make you feel so much better lille ulv." 

Breathing out shakily, Steve whispered up at him - "I told you... I told you to not let him stay, and you let him stay Kaj... I pleaded with you... you... didn't make him go..." Kaj breathed out heavily, and he whispered - "You...remember that?" Steve nodded and he whispered, "Sometimes when I.. am awake, hes asleep, and when I'm asleep - he's awake, separate... we shouldn't be separate anymore Kaj.. me and myself..."

Kaj whispered, "You won't be anymore... I swear. You'll feel safe again... all of you." 

Steve whispered, "You and me?" 

"Yes Baby, you and me... do you want that?" Kaj asked softly - as he stroked his fingers against Steve's face - Steve looked up at him, curling into him and he whispered - "Yes... will you keep me safe from him - from.. E-ddie?" Kaj murmured softly, "I will, I'll keep you safe - I will Baby.."

Steve whispered, "You are home.. my home... safe with you." Kaj said softly, "You are sweet little wolf."  Steve cuddled up, and his eyes went back to their chocolate brown as his Wolf went quiet. Steve whispered "I've always felt safe with you Kaj, even when we were little.." Kaj whispered, "I always felt safe with you too, always.."

Steve whispered, "He'll try and take me... He won't give me up.." He looked up at Kaj - and he whispered, "He... won't stop Kaj... He.. he's been ... he's been inside my heart, inside my head... since I was a little boy..." Tears spilt down Steve's cheeks and he whispered shakily, "He's... so deep in me that he haunts me Kaj... I... don't know how to quit him... I... don't want to hurt you but I also don't want to lie to you - I don't know how to quit him..... its not going to be easy for me..."

Kaj said softly, "I know... I know, but you love me?"

Steve whispered, "Yes... yes Kaj, I love you.." 

Kaj cradled Steve's face - and he whispered - "Then I will build you a throne from his bones - and you'll rise from the ashes - and we'll rebuild our own Kingdom.." 

Steve let out a shaky exhale - and Kaj growled, "We'll take back your soul... he doesn't get to keep you broken and weak. You're not a fucking ghost of his Shadow... You are a Goddess - you are Shar.. You'll Rise... You'll haunt them all with their shattered dreams.... fuck him.... you are more powerful than Him...than he has ever been... You are a Goddess of Death and Shadow. You are a goddess of the Moon, the mother of all Wolves... he doesn't have your power... you do."

Kaj whispered, "You do, you have all your power... my beautiful little wolf." Steve just stared at Kaj - and he whispered, "I have all my power.." Kaj whispered, "You do... you have it all, and you will be set free - I promise you, my beautiful little wolf." Steve held onto Kaj, and he relaxed into him. "You'll be free and happy and contented, I promise you Steve - I'll make sure of it.." Kaj murmured softly. He slid his fingers into Steve's hair and whispered, "Fuck him."

"Fuck him." Steve whispered - He laid his head against Kaj's chest - just watching Kaj quietly - and he whispered, "You make my heart sing Kaj, what I buried... I'll unbury... to find me.." Kaj whispered, "And its okay to face all the things you buried.. to become you.. don't be afraid anymore..." Steve nodded and he whispered, "I'll light the match and face my reflection.." Tears slid down his face and he whispered - "I'm not afraid of it anymore, if... if you are with me Kaj, I'll face it all - all the things I've run away from - I'll face it all." 

Kaj whispered, "And I'll stand with you, like I've always done lille ulv... I'm right here.." Steve whispered, "I'll be the wreckage... turned to poetry.."

"You remembered...that I said that to you?" Kaj murmured.

"Yes... yes I remembered - you... said it to me - in the church.." Steve whispered - "...didn't you."

Kaj whispered, "Yes.. Baby I did." Steve whispered - "You told me to give you all the versions of me... because you weren't afraid of any of them." 

"Yeah.. I did.." Kaj whispered, "And I meant it.." 

Steve held Kaj and he whispered, "... You loved me most even when I've been breaking." 

They both stayed quiet, and Kaj just curled Steve up in his arms - and Steve cried quietly - "I will love you always min lille ulv....always.." Kaj whispered, "I won't let him hurt you I promise." Steve let out a shaky breath and he whispered, "Kaj.... I'm... scared that I will hurt you."

Kaj gently gripped his chin, and he murmured - "I don't think you need to be scared of that Steve, I've been alone with you - many times when you've been barely Human... I've seen you at your worst, you could have ... killed me. You never did. I trust you, I trust you and I know you.... I don't think You would ever hurt me..."

Steve just stared at Kaj quietly - and Kaj whispered, "You trust me don't you?" He nodded, and Kaj whispered - "Have I ever lied to you?" Steve whispered, "No, never..." 

Kaj murmured softly, "Then... trust me with this, like you have whenever you were in danger, whenever you felt like you weren't safe - you called me, and I always came - I trust you lille ulv, I would put my life in your hands... I have no fear of you... I trust you, I always have."

Steve whispered, "You trust me, and I don't even trust myself Kaj."

"You will, I promise you... you will Steve, you will be whole again. Don't let anything, including yourself... get in the way of it.." Kaj murmured softly - "It'll be better I swear to you. If you let me, I'll give you the moon, I'll give you the stars... I'll give you everything back to make you whole again.."

Steve just stared at Kaj quietly, and he laid his head against his chest. Kaj's heart was beating steady and calm in his chest - and Steve whispered, "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve everything that you've ever wanted." Kaj said softly, "And it starts with you being whole again. That starts with you believing in yourself. It starts with you not hiding but living ...freedom doesn't come with a leash lille ulv, it comes without boundaries - you'll see... I promise." Steve looked at Kaj from under his lashes and he whispered, "...I'm so happy you're here Kaj." 

Kaj whispered back, "So am I.." He gently stroked the hair out of Steve's face - and he said softly, "If you could do anything at all, that you've never done - what would it be?"

Steve was quiet for a little while, and then he said softly - "It sounds really stupid, but I'd like to go see your meadow in Denmark, the one where the Bunny got away.."

Kaj let out a soft, rumbly laugh and Steve laughed too - "Hmm.. you wanna catch the Bunny don't you?" Steve smiled and he said softly, "Mhmm... I do, I wanna catch it so I can give it to you.." His voice broke a little, and he whispered - "Stupid Bunny.."

Kaj smiled softly, and he whispered, "Maybe someday, you and me can go visit it lille ulv. Ja?" Steve whispered, "I'd like that.. We can lay in the sun and eat the Bunny?" He snuggled up to Kaj and Kaj said huskily, "Yes, that sounds good - maybe... we can take our pups.." Steve blushed and he said, "Oh... so we have pups now? You want more than one.." He let out a soft little laugh, and Kaj growled softly, "Definitely... more than one pup... lots of little mini wolfies.. with sweet brown eyes like their Mama.."

Steve looked at Kaj and he whispered, "Do you think... I'll be a good Mama?" He bit his lip softly, "I'm... so broken, so crazy Kaj..." Tears welled up in his eyes and Kaj gently cupped Steve's face - "...You will be the best Mama, because your heart is pure - you have so much love to give, I've seen you with tiny Mina.... you aren't a monster Steve, you aren't bad... You have just always wanted love, a family... you will have it, I promise." Steve stroked his fingers gently against Kaj's face - and he whispered, "...You don't think I'm a monster?" Kaj whispered, "No lille ulv, you're just a lost little Wolf... but you will find your way back... its already begun."

Chapter Text

Steve could feel it, the anticipation - the excitement - the air was thick with it, everyone's scent was strong and heady and mixing together, it was chaos and joy and emotions all mixing together. It was pack, family - connection. It was overwhelming and strong - and yet - it didn't scare him at all. Steve was surrounded by his Family. He belonged here - with the Black Pack. Up on this Mountain, this was his Home - they were his Home. 

He whined softly, not able to stop it from escaping. He hadn't even shifted into his fur - and it still escaped. Those that couldn't put on their fur, the humans amongst them - they were excited too, looking after the little ones. They were still pack, still family - everyone connected by the same thread, the same tie that bound them all to each other. It was a powerful thing. And Steve craved it, he wanted to feel it. It would probably have looked odd to outsiders - seeing a bunch of people, gathered around wearing dressing gowns - robes, whatever they could throw off at the last minute. 

But there was really no point wearing clothes when you were going to have to get naked and put your fur on. Jonathan was bright eyed - and flushed - and happy, and Steve knew it was because he'd actually been talking to Issy's parents. That was another thing - up on the Mountain, up here with the Pack. Wolves didn't give a damn who you loved - there was no shame, nothing wrong with being with another man, or another woman. 

It didn't matter if you had more than one lover even. It didn't matter if you wanted to dress like a lady and you had a cock in your pants. It didn't matter who and what you were - you were loved, you were accepted. Steve thought the outside world could do with a bit more of that too. Why the hell did everyone have to be so damn nasty. Why'd everyone have to hate everyone so much? He didn't know why - if the world learned to love people for who they were, and not what they thought they were supposed to be? Maybe the world would have been a better, nicer - more beautiful place to live. 

It wouldn't have to be so vile and sadistic and cruel. 

Steve was starting to feel less and less like he wanted to leave, and more and more like he wanted to stay. He had spent the early evening helping his Uncle Nate, it turned out that he had a way with horses, and Nate had said it wasn't a surprise to him. Steve had helped a troubled Horse by the name of Eden - he was a vicious thing that kept biting and kicking - he didn't want to be broken in. He wanted to be wild and free - Steve had gotten him to take, tamed him without any trouble at all.

He'd become Steve's horse. Steve... had a goddamn horse. He was black and so pretty - and He was soft and quiet now. His dark eyes gentle as Steve whispered to him, he'd been too frightened to even have a saddle, Steve could ride him without one. He would come when Steve spoke to him in Mescalito - Nate said, he was a shadow pony. Steve thought maybe Nate was right about that. He rode him for hours, far across the meadows and deep into the woods - till it got dark, and then he'd ridden him back up to Nate's ranch.

Eden had eaten right out of Steve's hands, making soft gentle noises as Steve whispered to him, and told him secrets. 

Eden wasn't afraid anymore. And it made Steve feel braver too. It made him realize that if a beautiful wild horse - could trust Steve.

Maybe, just maybe... he could learn to trust himself.

Everyone had all gathered around, and Steve wasn't sure who it was that suddenly donned their fur first - but then everyone was - and Steve was running, they all were - Kaj was bounding along beside him, along with Robin, Vicky and Jonathan - Lyrena was as beautiful in her fur as she was in her skin. Her fur was a darker shade of grey than Jonathan's her eyes a deep honey color - Issy's fur was black, but not as black as Steve's - he had the same golden eyes, he was as thin as a whippet - and super fast - he chased after Jonathan - and Vicky with her fire red fur bounded after them, followed by Robin. 

Somewhere off in the distance - someone let out a beautiful soulful howl - and then everyone was doing it in reply, and they were all chasing, running after each other - and some broke off separately. Steve darted between ferns and soft bushes - Kaj chasing after him and it was amazingly good. But Steve wound up separated from them - not sure how it happened, he slowed down - his nose leading him off on his own. He padded softly through some dense undergrowth. Tip-toeing, he really did tip-toe on his paws. 

Steve lifted his head, and caught the scent of a deer  - his mouth watered and he thought, I want to lay my kill at his feet, at Kaj's feet... I can catch a deer. He stalked through the undergrowth - and His heart pounded in his chest - he breathed in deeply, and then let out a soft little whimper - the scent shifted, the deer had fled - the scent he could smell, wasn't deer anymore. 

It was Eddie.

Steve was standing at the edge of a small trickling river - it wasn't large, but it was small enough that it didn't wash the scent of Eddie way - Steve couldn't see him, but he could smell him and he knew he was there - somewhere, watching him. Steve's eyes burned brighter - and he tip-toed his way into the shadow, only to crash straight into the huge dark bulk of Eddie in his fur. His red eyes glowing - Eddie breathed in his scent, Eddie's was thick and heavy with his heady musk, the warmth of it was intoxicating - and they both just looked at each other. Steve kept his head raised up - and he let out a soft growl.

Eddie growled back, a deep rumbling, and he nuzzled his face against Steve's - he breathed out and then Eddie shifted into his skin. He raked his fingers through his hair - "Stevie..." Eddie's voice was soft, he looked pained - his eyes dark, and he said hoarsely - "Please.. shift into your skin, please.."

Steve just stared at him, liquid golden eyes burning brightly - and he growled again in his throat and snarled, baring his teeth. He backed up - and Eddie stepped closer. 

"Stevie..." Eddie sank to his knees, and he whispered - "Please?" He looked at Steve - and he said hoarsely, "I... don't understand what I did? Why did you... just leave.. please, talk to me.. my Darling, my sweet boy... please Stevie." Tears slid down Eddie's face, and he said in his lilting voice - "Do you not love me anymore?"

Steve whimpered softly, and pawed at his own face - Eddie shifted closer - and then he tangled his fingers into Steve's fur and buried his face in it. "I... I followed you here - I.. I.. waited, I've.. been waiting out here for you to come... Stevie.." Eddie was crying into his fur, and he said hoarsely - "Please.." Steve shifted back into his skin, and he let out a shaky exhale - pushing at Eddie weakly, the older man whispered, "Stevie..." He curled his fingers against Steve's face, and he whispered - "I miss you so much, I.. I'm sorry that I hurt you I...swear I didn't mean to, I... didn't mean too ... I didn't mean for you to leave me... my sweet boy.." 

Eddie breathed out soft against his face and Steve whispered, "You're a monster." His eyes were still gold, as he looked at Eddie - "You're a fucking lying piece of shit, that has done nothing but lie to me - from the very beginning.. I don't live in reality, I should be in a fucking institution.. those are your words... your words Eddie.." Eddie just stared at him, and he breathed out against Steve's face - "You miss me? You.... love me?" Steve hissed out, "Are you even capable of it?" He shoved Eddie away from him and spat out, "You are sick, you're sick and disgusting! Why are you here.. Why did you come here?"

"I love you, I missed you... I.. didn't mean those things that I wrote, I.. just.. I wanted to keep you safe, I.. swear it." Eddie said softly.

Steve shook his head, "No... no you didn't. You meant them. You've been trying to keep me broken, keep me weak - keep me reliant on you! You didn't want me to come here to find my family, you wanted me to come here to marry you so that I'd only ever need you! You wanted me to be alone, with just you.. only you, with no family, no pack... just you... twisting my mind up, making me more fucking broken!" Steve was crying, but he was angry. 

"No.. it.. it's not true, I wanted you to be free - to be yourself.." Eddie said softly, "To.. be like me." 

"To be a monster like you! A fucking murderous monster that doesn't know who he is!? Is that what you wanted! You wanted me to be obsessed with you, to love and need only you!" Steve sobbed, "I Hate you! I hate you Eddie! I fucking hate you!" He whimpered painfully, and Eddie crawled in closer - and said hoarsely, "I love you Stevie.. I've always loved you, I.. I want to give you everything.. I.. swear it.. I.. please.." Eddie was crying again and Steve slapped his face hard. "Liar!"

Eddie breathed out harshly, and he whispered - "I ..wanted you to come with me, to... be with me - just us.. together finally, after all the years we've been kept apart by everything else.. I.. yes I wanted you to myself, why... why is that so wrong? Why... you were happy with me, together - just the two of us, Stevie.. you.. were happy with me.." He whispered tearfully, "I.. swear I didn't mean to hurt you I just... I got so angry... because.. you and him.. because.. I.. couldn't bare it, I.. please.. please I don't know what to do without you.." 

Steve whimpered tearfully, "Stop it.. stop lying to me.."

"I'm not lying to you Stevie.. I love you.." Eddie whispered shakily, he moved closer and he cradled Steve's head in his hands, "I love you.. my Beautiful sweet Boy. I love you with everything that I am.." 

Steve whispered shakily, "No... no you don't.. Stop it." He whimpered softly, as Eddie breathed out against his face and whispered - "I've always loved you Stevie. Ever since I first saw you... before that... before this life... when you were Shar... when you made me.. I've loved you forever." Steve's breath hitched and he whimpered softly, "No... you make me bad, your bad for me.." 

Eddie whispered, "But you like being bad, doing bad...things with me.." He licked softly against Steve's mouth and Steve gasped out softly - Eddie let out a soft little growl, and then he kissed Steve hungrily, possessively, and Steve whimpered - kissing him back. 

They kissed each other like they were starving, devouring each other - and Steve was swept up in Eddie's arms, in his warmth - in the deep dark soul stealing depths of his entire being. Nothing else existed but Eddie, his hands on his skin - the way he consumed him completely. Steve whimpered - and Eddie said huskily, "You love me too, don't you... my Darling, my sweet precious boy.." Steve whimpered softly, and Eddie whispered - "You've loved me first, loved me forever.. you remember me... remember my shadow, my face... my everything." 

Steve was breathing harshly, and Eddie whispered - "You remember when you sacrificed her... with me... we can do that again, my sweet darling boy... we can kill them all, take the whole world down - you and me.. I'll destroy it all for you, I'll worship you... my beautiful little Goddess, that's what you are Stevie.." He stroked his fingers against Steve's skin, and Eddie whispered against his ear, "I'll worship you - like you should be worshipped, hmm? I'll build you shrines of destruction and chaos.. leave you love letters, that you can crawl inside of and devour.."

Steve whimpered, and he rubbed himself up against Eddie shamelessly - Eddie said huskily, "I know you best, I know what you crave... I know what you hunger for.. because you're the same as me, you've always been the same as me... you don't need anyone else, do you?" Steve's fangs elongated out and he bite hard into Eddie's shoulder, Eddie let out a deep rumbling growl - his eyes burning red, and then Steve licked at the bite, Eddie bit Steve back - and he licked, lapping lazily - "Will you come with me Stevie, come with me now..."

He felt Eddie pull him in closer, and Steve shivered - breathing out heavily, Eddie whispered - "Leave with me, we'll go... right now.. just the two of us.." Steve felt Eddie tangle his fingers into his hair, and Eddie said huskily, "....Do you want to leave with me Stevie? You don't need to stay here .. you don't need this place, or anyone here, do you? Hmm? Tell me who you need.."

Steve breathed out shakily, his nostrils flaring slightly - Eddie's scent was only getting stronger - and Eddie said huskily, "Can you smell it? The kill I brought you.. I ...brought it special for you.." He suddenly scooped Steve up into his arms, staring down at him as he walked through the dense undergrowth - "You can, can't you my sweet boy.." 

Steve could smell blood, he could smell fear - it was heavy and intoxicating, Human. Eddie murmured, "I brought you a present.." He carried Steve into a small clearing, where Eddie had a small woman hog tied. 

She was struggling to get free to no avail, her mouth bound with a gag. Steve's eyes burned even brighter - and he stared at Eddie, wild-eyed - feral. "Do you want your present my sweet boy? You want to tear her to pieces... don't you.. hmm? Shall I just... cut her, let you smell more of her fear, smell her blood?" Eddie set Steve down on the ground and Steve snarled at the woman, baring his fangs - and Eddie let out a soft little happy chuckle - "So vicious, so hungry... so dark and angry..." Eddie let one of his claws morph - and he slit it against the woman's face - her scream of pain muffled by the gag in her mouth, Steve just leapt on her and lost control. 

He tore, and shredded - and bit into her flesh - tearing her apart and he ate deeply - and Eddie just knelt there watching, a smirk on his face - he got covered in blood splatter - but he didn't care, he licked some off his fingers as he wiped it away. 

Steve whined as he cracked her open like a cracker on Christmas day - sliding his arms into the cavern of her body and tearing her insides out - he smeared his skin in her blood - sucking it from his fingers, he ate and chewed his way through it all - and was painfully hard while he did. Eddie just watched, his eyes as black as night - aroused, and terribly happy with himself. His beautiful sweet boy, completely taken over by his animalistic desires. 

Stevie is still mine. Eddie thought. 

Steve crunched his way through bones - he was soaked in gore and blood - he was crawled up inside of half of her - the rest of her gone. But then Steve did something that Eddie hadn't been expecting him to do, he plucked the heart out - and then he stood up, his Golden eyes stared up at the sky, and then he walked away in the opposite direction to Eddie. 

"Stevie?" Eddie called out to him - but Steve didn't reply, he just morphed into Shadow - and disappeared from his sight altogether. 

~***~

Steve was sitting in the bedroom, completely naked - covered in blood - gore - who knew what, he was just staring into space - Golden eyes, muscles twitching ever so slightly. He wasn't making any sound, he was sitting there, holding the bloody heart in his hands - his hands still had his claws out - he was sitting on the floor, in the dark - waiting. He was still siting there - when the house filled with noise, everyone was talking over the top of each other, "I.. don't know where he went.." He heard Kaj's voice - the rumbling deepness of it - Steve's Golden eyes burned brighter, and then Kaj said suddenly - his voice huskier, "He... is here, he's here."

Kaj stood in the doorway - and he stepped into the room, "Stevie?" He shut the door, and locked it - and Steve just let out a soft, little growl - "No..light." He managed to get out - Kaj said huskily, "Okay lille ulv, no... light, where did you go? I... couldn't find you.." He moved closer, and then he whispered - "....Stevie?" Kaj breathed in - realizing that he blood Steve was covered in, wasn't animal - that it was Human. "...Stevie.."

Steve shifted, crawling closer - and then he whispered, "My kill... at your...feet."

Kaj breathed out heavily, as Steve gave him the heart - Steve's hair fell into his face and whispered - "Eat ...it.. eat it.." Kaj said huskily, "Stevie what...did you do?" Steve whispered darkly, "Don't...you want it? My.. kill, don't you want it?" He growled softly, "Eat it.."

Steve licked at Kaj's mouth, and Kaj said husky and soft, "Stevie.." Steve backed away and then he pressed up against the wall, letting his hair hide his face - Kaj was staring down at the heart in his hands - and Steve whispered, "You don't....want it?" His golden eyes turned liquid as his tears filled his eyes - and Kaj said hoarsely, "I... you... " He breathed out slowly, not sure what to say - he'd never eaten a Human before. Steve was covered in blood - head to toe - and he was wild, feral - he was drunk on it. 

Addicted to the taste of Human flesh. 

Kaj didn't know whether to be aroused or alarmed - he knew it was hurting Steve that he didn't want his kill though - it wasn't that he didn't want it, he just... was in shock?

Steve breathed out shakily, and then he said tearfully - "...You..d-don't want it?" He looked at Kaj, like he had wounded him - and Kaj said softly, "Lille ulv - I.. didn't say that.." 

"Then eat it..." Steve said with a growl, mixed with a sob - "Eat it.." He whispered as he crawled in closer - and whimpered softly as he whispered, "Don't you love me... want my... kill, I saved it for you.." He sounded so sweet, so innocent - and his golden eyes shifted to their sweet chocolate brown, full of tears, "I saved you the best part, it will taste so good.." Steve whispered, like he was telling Kaj something sacred, something secret. 

Kaj shivered and he whispered, "Do you want a bite?" 

Steve's eyes filled with more tears, and he took it from Kaj - heartbroken, he said softly - "Get out.." He let out a sob, and then backed up into the corner of the room - "Stevie..." Kaj said hoarsely.

"No! NO YOU GET OUT!" Steve sobbed, but yelled at him - "YOU DONT WANT ME!" He cradled the heart close to his face as he cried brokenly - "You don't want me... don't want my... gift.. my kill.. you.. you don't want.. get out... GET OUT"

Kaj had tears streaming down his face, he had no idea what he should do - should he just eat it? He didn't know if he was okay doing that - he had never eaten a human before. It scared him - but now this scared him, hurting Steve scared him. Steve sobbed brokenly - how had Steve even killed a human? Who had he killed?

"Get out, get out... get out!" Steve was rocking himself back and forth - and then he curled into a tiny little ball, making strange little clicking noises like he did when he was incredibly distressed. 

Kaj breathed out harshly, and as he went to leave the room, he heard Steve sob softly - "Eddie, Eddie... Eddie come back."

That fucking bastard. He did this.

Kaj didn't know how - but he knew that Eddie somehow was behind this - Steve was broken all over again, and Kaj knew it had something to do with Eddie - it had to have. He got Steve alone, and... it led to this. 

Eddie had turned Steve into a maneater. Jesus Christ - no wonder he's wild and feral and can't fucking find his center. The sooner they could do the sweat, the healing ritual the better - but this? This was a setback, and a problem - because at the moment, Steve didn't trust Kaj. And he had to decide whether he was prepared to eat a Human's heart or not, to save the person he loved more than anything in the world. 

The sickening thing was, Eddie had probably done it on purpose too. Kaj knew he needed to talk to Missy and Lyrena. He didn't know what they knew about eating Human flesh - only that he'd been brought up to believe that it wasn't okay. He didn't know anything other than what his parents and his culture had taught him. But if he had to, he'd still do it. Kaj hated hearing Steve's sobs, he just wanted to comfort him.  He hated hearing Steve crying as he begged Eddie to come back.

We have to keep him away from you.

Chapter Text

Steve felt empty and numb, he felt like he'd been ripped a part - instead of him just tearing apart that woman - he'd been ripped apart instead. Kaj had rejected him, didn't want his kill - didn't want him. He'd not wanted it. Eddie had been there in the woods - and said such dark and twisted things, torn him apart, fed him more lies - whispered such powerful dark things. Whispered to his soul - whispered the secret things that made him ache so deep in his bones. 

Made the shadows inside him cry out to do such terrible things. Steve had cried till he had no tears left. A Monster loved him, a monster loved him - sang to him - called out to him from the depths of some place that Steve couldn't leave. A place that he'd been trapped in for so long - a place that Steve had been stuck in ever since his Daddy had taken his Mama and Didi away, since he'd strung himself up from the shower curtain rod. 

And left Steve all alone. 

In a world without any color. A world full of noise and buzzing and clicking. A world where he didn't fit - he didn't belong.  He didn't want to belong to a Monster, he didn't want to be a Monster.

Steve didn't really want to be anymore.

Eddie had always been the one that knew his Darkness, had felt it - seen it, embraced it. Touched parts of him that nobody else could. Had seen it when he was a child, it had always been a part of him - had only grown stronger, deeper - more visceral and intense. Steve was so broken that he knew he couldn't be fixed. He knew, he knew that everyone had always tried to fix him. Why... why was he always letting people tell him that they could fix him? He was not able to be fixed, he was not fixable. 

Steve was empty and numb and there was nothing left. He had no more tears to cry - no more words to speak. He had nothing left. 

He had always been wanting a fantasy. A life that was not meant for him. Steve had always wanted to rid himself of the disease around him. But he understood now that he was the disease. He was the disease that spread and corrupted everything. 

His Daddy hadn't loved him enough to take him with them. He'd left him behind because he didn't love him. Steve had never fit with them.

He didn't fit with the Black pack. He was a monster. They were all good, and sweet and kind - they were love and joy and happiness. Steve was none of those things. 

He would corrupt and destroy them too. He would pollute them. Steve wasn't allowed to be loved, he didn't deserve it.

Only chaos and pain. Pain was something he knew, it was something he could inflict. A disease caused pain. It corrupted everything and rotted it from the inside out. Kaj had looked at him like he was a monster. He had rejected him - he didn't want his kill. 

He thought he could fix him, save him - from himself? Steve knew, he knew that he could never be saved. He could never have a family of his own - he could never have a child of his own. He'd destroy it, and corrupt it - he'd turn it into a broken ruined thing... just like himself.

Steve needed to end it. He needed to end his sickness from spreading and corrupting anything else. 

He went silently into the bathroom and took a shower. Washing the remnants of his last act of destruction from his body. Steve pulled on clothes - he didn't much care what they were. He didn't bother with shoes on his feet, he didn't bother with writing anyone a note. 

Steve took the heart with him, he decided to get rid of it in the woods.

Because it was unwanted.

It was raining when he got outside - Steve didn't notice it, he didn't care either. He walked, and he walked - getting soaked through - he didn't care. He eventually got to his Uncle Nate's ranch. 

Steve was quiet as he snuck into the house, he crept silently into his Uncle's small office - and he took the box. Nate never should have shown him the gun. It was an old family heirloom - but it was still working. There was exactly six silver bullets. Steve only needed one. Steve took the box and he crept just as silently out of the house, as he had when he went in. 

Eden made soft noises, as Steve made his way into the stables - he softly ran his hands against his flank - whispering softly to him. Steve rest his head gently against the horses warm body - and he whispered, "You'll take me back to the Fell.. won't you hmm? You're my shadow pony.." 

Eden's dark inky eyes looked at him quietly, and he bowed his head. 

Steve bowed back to him and he whispered, "You're a good boy..." Steve gently gripped his mane, and climbed on - Eden walked slowly out of the stall, and then Steve dug his heals in and they raced off across the grass into the night - the rain falling down around them both.

~***~

Kaj had spoken with Missy and Lyrena, they had told him - that it was okay, that in their ways - a kill was a kill, that there was nothing to be afraid of, that if Kaj loved Steve - he shouldn't be afraid to accept it. But when Kaj had gone to find Steve? He was gone, Steve was nowhere to be found. It had made Kaj's blood run cold. 

And then nobody had been able to find him - the search had begun, and Kaj wondered - if Steve had left, and Eddie had found him - the fear, and the worry made him feel sick. 

But then Nate had arrived in the middle of the storm that was currently raging out side - hands shaking - a gun box empty - he said hoarsely that he'd woken after the horse stables had sent the horses scattering out in the yard. Steve's pony - Eden was gone. 

Steve had got into Nate's house - and he'd taken the gun. The gun - that had Silver Bullets. Only one Bullet was gone. But only one was needed - Kaj left the house without another word - nobody could stop him - Kaj put on his fur and he ran, he ran through the woods, searching - he didn't even know where to look. 

Back at the house, Lyrena was in tears - held by Missy, inconsolable - she'd been dreaming that there had been a fight between light and darkness. Jonathan, Vicky, Robin and Issac - they all stared with wide eyes as a gunshot rang out across the valley. It was as loud as a crack of lightening - and unmistakable. 

~***~

~*Earlier that Night*~

Eden had come to a halt in the dark clearing in the woods and Steve just laid against him, resting his head - he whispered, "Okay.. this works.." He laid there, shivering because of the rain and then he let himself slide off the horses back. Steve whispered, "Thanks for bringing me here Eden - you should go now.." Eden just stomped his foot, bowed his head but he stayed put. Steve rest his head against Eden's and the horse made soft snuffle noises and Steve whispered, "Why won't you leave.." Eden's dark eyes watched him - and Steve whispered, "Okay then.. suit yourself.." He wiped the rain off his face, and then headed to the big tree.

Steve sat down and he stared up at the sky, it was so dark - the rain wasn't hitting him so much where he was. Steve opened up the bag and he took out the gun - he heard a snap behind him - and he let out a soft exhale, as Eddie stepped into the clearing, the older man - looked at the horse, and he said, "Hello Steven." His voice was calm, soft - but he didn't have any amusement in his voice, or even much emotion. Steve held the gun in his hand and he said quietly, "What do you want Eddie."

"Why are you back here?" Eddie asked him - and Steve said quietly, "It's none of your business." 

The older man crouched down in the damp undergrowth, and he let out a soft - amused laugh. "You came out here in the middle of the night while its raining - did you come to meet me? You knew I'd still be out here waiting for you, didn't you." Eddie asked him, and Steve said quietly, "No actually Eddie - I didn't come out here for you at all."

Eddie said, "No? What happened Steven, did you take the heart back to your friend and he didn't want it?" His voice was cold, and Steve let his eyes close. "I've seen you throwing yourself at him - like a little slut. How quickly he came to you - didn't he. But... he doesn't know you does he.. hmm? Doesn't know how dark and twisted and fucked up you really are. He doesn't know what you get off on - the destruction and chaos.. the killing, the feeding on human flesh.. he doesn't know about that... does he?"

Steve just stayed silent - and Eddie said quietly, "Does he know that you'd spread your legs for me and let me put my fingers in your pussy when you were just a little boy? Because you wanted me.. you wanted me even then? Hmm? How you'd eat my cum, and beg for me to put my cock inside you? Does he know that Steven?"

"Shut up.." Steve said softly, his voice shaky.

"Does he know you've been addicted to me, since you were too small to even fit my cock inside you? But that you were mine even then? Does he know? Did you tell him that you've always been mine? That you're still mine? Did you tell him!" Eddie growled it - and Steve said shakily, "Shut up... shut up Eddie!" Tears slid down his face, and Eddie growled softly - "No... no I won't because you're mine, and you'll always be mine... even if he knocks you up and puts his pup in your belly - you'll always be mine, because I had you first, always ... in every way that matters you're mine... aren't you. Steven.. I'm yours... and your mine!"

"SHUT UP!" Steve yelled at Eddie - sobbing, as he bit down on his fingers - breathing harshly, and Eddie moved closer - "Don't you remember how you'd beg me so sweetly to kiss you, to touch you.. how you'd touch me.. always so sweet, and needy.. and then... whenever anyone else would try to touch you, you'd get so angry Steven you would hurt them.. because you didn't want them to touch you.. why... why is he allowed to touch you? Hmm? Why do you want him to touch you..." Eddie pulled Steve into his arms and he whispered, "Why do you let him touch you.."

"Because I love him!" Steve said tearfully, "Because I Love him!" 

Eddie smacked Steve hard across the face and snarled, "No you don't love him!"

Steve let out a harsh sob, and Eddie growled - picking Steve up off the ground - Steve whimpered, "No! No...don't hurt me..." 

Eddie breathed out heavily, and then he tangled his fingers into Steve's hair, and he growled - "I saw you with him, I saw you... I saw him touching you. You're mine, you don't belong to him Steven, your mine.." He pulled Steve into a vicious, brutal kiss and Steve whimpered - not kissing Eddie back. It just made Eddie all the more determined to get Steve to yield. 

He whispered against Steve's mouth, "Don't you love me anymore my sweet Boy? Hmm? I know you do Stevie.." Steve breathed out harshly, tears streaming down his face - "You're.. h-hurting me.."

Eddie growled softly, "You don't love me?" 

Steve whispered, "Stop it... stop it Eddie - please... please stop.." Tears slid down his face and he whimpered softly, "Please don't hurt me.."

Eddie cradled Steve's face in both of his hands, and then he kissed him again - growling, "Kiss me back Stevie, don't...lie to me.."

Steve whimpered, and Eddie whispered - "I'll give you everything you want.. you know I can Stevie.." He sucked on Steve's bottom lip, and then he whispered - "You can hit me if you want.."

"Eddie.. stop.. stop please." Steve whispered, he whimpered softly, "Stop.."

Eddie kissed Steve deeply, stroking his tongue into Steve's mouth - and Steve shivered, Eddie whispered, "Tell me you don't love me.."

Steve breathed out shakily, and Eddie whispered - "If I put my pup in your belly first, will you keep it... will you keep it or will you get rid of it.." He growled and then whispered, "I found out you can have my pup, you can... Stevie, I can give you my pup just like you wanted, ....you wanted my pup in your belly, I'll give you one Stevie.."

"Eddie..." Steve whispered shakily - and Eddie tugged Steve's pants off roughly, Steve whimpered - "No-no Eddie.. stop.."

He pushed Eddie away and then he ran, trying to get his pants up - but he couldn't see properly because of the rain - and Steve was stumbling, crashing through the undergrowth - and Eddie let out a snarl of anger and then chased after him - Steve was breathing hard, and then he just kicked off his pants and broke free of them - he landed on his paws and ran. He ran as fast as he could - and he could hear the pounding of Eddie chasing after him. 

Steve darted and dived through the undergrowth, his heart beating fast - adrenaline pumping through his entire body - and he just kept running, he came to a skidding halt though - because there was nowhere to go - and he ran back the way he came, but Eddie slammed hard into him and they skidded against the ground. Steve had the wind knocked out of him - the bag with the gun was laying a short distance away - and Steve thought about if he could just get to it - if he could get to it. What are you going to do? Shoot Eddie? 

Eddie growled at him and Steve whimpered - the rain was pouring down against them and Steve felt Eddie bite down against the back of his neck - he let out a pained yelp as Eddie thrust his cock into him deep and hard, he had no escape, and no way of getting free - Eddie was driving his cock deep into his pussy, and it hurt - Steve whimpered in pain, pinned down - he knew he couldn't do anything, stay as he was - he couldn't shift back into his skin, it would be a lot worse. 

Steve whimpered - and breathed out harshly, inside he felt like he was dying - the rain beat down on them, and Eddie's bite eased a little - Steve's scent was strong with fear and not much else. Eddie's was rich and full of musk, and Steve felt sick inside - he heard Eddie's voice inside his head, Shift into your skin... shift into your skin and I'll make love to you. Steve whimpered - he didn't want too, and he didn't trust Eddie - not one bit. Not right then, Stevie... shift into your skin my sweet boy...let me love you.

He slowed his thrust and then Eddie pulled out of Steve entirely, and Steve felt Eddie's hands - curling into his fur - and Eddie said huskily, "Stevie... shift back into your skin.." He curled his fingers deeper into Steve's fur and then he was rubbing his cock up against Steve's body anyway. Steve kept his head down - and Eddie murmured, "I.. can still put my cock in you like this.. I will.." Steve growled in his throat, and Eddie dug his fingers into his fur again and growled against his ear, "....Shift into your skin.."

Steve whined softly, and he felt Eddie push his fingers into his pussy - making him let out a strange grunt-growl, Eddie was determined to violate him - however he saw fit. Steve gasped out raggedly as he shifted back into his skin and Eddie growled - "Good boy... your my sweet boy." He was fucking his fingers into Steve's pussy, dirty and fast - stretching them out, and Steve was curling his fingers into the dirt, Eddie said huskily against his ear, "Yes my sweet boy... your pussy is getting wet..." Steve stayed quiet, and Eddie licked up his back, licking the rain from his skin and then he growled against Steve's ear, "You'll always be mine.." 

Steve cried out, as Eddie buried his cock - balls deep in one brutal thrust, and he held Steve in place as he pounded into him relentlessly - Steve could barely catch his breath - Eddie spread Steve's legs with his own, and he pushed Steve's face down against the ground, rolling his hips and driving his cock deeper - and Steve whimpered, his eyes closing tightly - he could feel his body responding to Eddie's thrusts - pleasure crashing through him, even though he didn't want it too. His pussy was getting wet, and Steve's eyes burned gold - Eddie leaned down and he whispered, "Intertwined... you and me, always Stevie... you're always going to be mine.. I'll always be here.. inside you.. no matter what you do to try and escape me.."

Steve let out a sob, and Eddie whispered - "I was here first, wasn't I.. hmm.. your dirty little pussy loves my cock - your addicted to it, always has been. You love it, I'm your Daddy.. you're my sweet Baby, my sweet boy.. aren't you.. all mine, no matter how much he fucks you, You belong to me Steven." He pulled Steve up, and he rocked his hips, and Steve felt Eddie curl his hands around his throat, gripping tight - cutting off his air, and Steve's eyes rolled into his head, he came so hard as Eddie cut off his air - his pussy clenching vice tight around Eddie's cock, and he heard Eddie's voice inside his head, That's right, cum for me on my cock - cum for me while I cut your breath off, you'd die for my cock inside you, that's how much you love me Steven. I love you the same way, and I'll kill anyone and everyone that tries to take you from me. You're mine, all of you is mine.. 

Steve almost completely blacked out - he came violently against the ground - and Eddie's grip on his throat he eased it - but it triggered a memory, of when Steve had been in New Orleans, a memory he'd forgotten about, that happened during one of his blackouts - he'd only been fifteen, but he'd actually had Eddie visit him at the university - it was not long after they'd met at Madam Rosina's - Eddie had held Steve in his arms, in Steve's bed in his apartment, and he'd choked Steve while he came hard - and violently. Steve had just forgotten about it till that moment. His love of asphyxiation while masturbating... had started with Eddie. Like a lot of his dirty habits. 

That day in Steve's room when he'd been jerking off choking himself - when Eddie had been watching him. He'd probably liked it. Steve was laying against Eddie - breathing hard, and Eddie said huskily against his ear, "I...love you, I've always loved you.." Steve was breathing harsh - and he was shaking apart, not just because of what Eddie was doing, and had just done - but because Steve was genuinely terrified. His scent was heady with it, and Eddie growled soft against his ear, "Fuck.. you smell so good when you're frightened..." He pushed Steve back down against the ground and then started pounding into him again, gripping his hips, and Steve whimpered - "Stop...stop stop...Eddie.." 

Eddie just growled and he was getting frustrated - because Steve wasn't getting wet, and wasn't triggering Eddie's knot. He pulled out of Steve frustrated and then growled - "Stevie... suck my cock.. Suck.. Daddy's cock.. c'mon sweet boy.." Steve whimpered tearfully - and he let out a sob as Eddie gripped his hair and then said softly, "Open your mouth." Steve looked up at him, but then he opened his mouth, "Good boy.." Eddie said huskily, and he fucked his hips into Steve's mouth, and Steve just stared up at him - tears streaming down his face. Eddie let out a soft, dirty moan - and Steve whimpered - but he sucked Eddie's cock, breathing out through his nose - he just wanted it over with. 

Eddie grunted softly, and Steve felt Eddie cum - he swallowed as much as he could, but some spilled down his chin. Eddie pulled himself free - and then he lifted Steve up - and he kissed Steve hungrily, then lapped his cum from Steve's face. Eddie bit his bottom lip and murmured, "Do you love me Stevie.." Steve was shaking, his entire body trembling and he whispered - "Yes.." Eddie walked over to Steve's bag, and he picked it up - he looked at Steve, amusement on his face - "What's this Steven? He rejected your gift..." Eddie tutted, "How rude..." He looked at Steve quietly, "I know... that hurt you deeply, I would never... have done such a thing to you.." He pulled the gun out of the bag, and he cocked the chamber. 

Steve was shaking, terrified - and he looked up at Eddie - as the older man took the bullet out - and he said quietly, "What are you doing out here with this gun Steven? A silver bullet.." He stared at Steve as he put it back in the chamber - "... I'm going to teach you a lesson, and this... its going to hurt, but... it will teach you that if you betray me again, I won't be so lenient next time." He pulled the trigger - and Steve just stared at Eddie. "Five more to go.." Eddie said in that same - quiet, deadly calm voice. He pulled the trigger again - pointing it right at Steve. 

"When you get back home - you're going to do as you're told, aren't you Steven." Eddie cocked his head and then pointed the gun at the ground and he pulled the trigger again - Steve flinched and he whimpered - he was paralysed and couldn't move. Eddie gripped Steve's hair, and he said quietly, "Did you come out here to shoot me?" Steve shook his head no - and Eddie said, "No? Did you come out here to take your own life?"

Steve had tears rolling down his cheeks and Eddie pulled the trigger again - Steve pissed himself, and Eddie whispered - "Last one Steven. You'll either live, or you'll die - If you live - we'll play the game... and if you die? My Darling, I'll be seeing you soon.." Eddie pushed the gun into Steve's belly, he kissed Steve deep and slow and he said darkly, "If his pup is in your belly, it won't be anymore."

Eddie pulled the trigger - and fire spread through Steve's belly - as the bullet cut through his body - the shot ringing out through the woods and valley around them. Eddie dropped the gun beside them - and he looked down over Steve. "We'll either live together, or we'll die together Steven - if I can't have you... nobody else is going too. Till we meet again my love.." Eddie just faded into Shadow - and Steve's world went dark as he bled out into the ground. 

As Steve lay there dying - Eden made his way through the dark woods - his wet nose nuzzling against Steve's face - he sat down right beside Steve - and laid there with him in the dark - waiting - and that is where Kaj found him - Steve was naked - bleeding out from his belly, barely hanging on - Kaj scooped him up into his body, and climbed onto the horses back - and he kicked his heels - riding as fast as he could - back to the house - thinking that Steve had shot himself. 

Chapter Text

Everyone was sitting outside the big house that was set up as the healing/hospital on the Rez. Nobody was allowed inside - Kaj was covered in blood - he had his head buried in his hands - nobody was talking, nobody was saying anything. Missy was pacing back and forth across the porch - praying softly in Mescalito. 

Robin was sitting with her arms curled tightly around Lyrena. Vicky was sitting with Jonathan and Issy. But nobody was saying a word - Nate was sitting solemnly, hands in his lap.

People were coming and going - asking how Steve was doing - and Kaj never moved a muscle - never lifted his head, never spoke - he just stayed sitting, his head in his hands - still and silent. He had the bag, with the heart still inside - strapped over his shoulder.

Inside - they were working franticly, there were pained screams - loud, animalistic screams as they took the poisoned bullet out of Steve's belly - the screams would haunt them all for the rest of their lives.

But especially Kaj. His entire body was tense - the muscles in his arms and back flickering as he struggled to contain himself - his hands were stained with Steve's blood - he had carried Steve all the way to the healing house, refusing to let him go.

He'd had to have Steve pried from his hands - Kaj had been feral and out of control, not himself at all - not the calm, sweet, loving person that he was known for being. Wild, angry - completely off balance and violent.

Now he sat there like a silent, unmovable statue - tense and wound to tight, and ready to snap. The tension in the air around them was palpable. Kaj blamed himself - believing that Steve had tried to take his own life, because of him. Because he had rejected him - because Steve believed that Kaj didn't love him. 

Kaj had done something unforgiveable - and if Steve died, because of him - Kaj knew he would not survive his Death. He would never be the same again. Everyone sitting on the porch - knew that Kaj was only hanging on by a thread. They all knew.

They waited, they all waited - and then the door opened. Kaj just stayed sitting where he was - "Missy, Lyrena.. Nate." She stepped out onto the porch, and then shut the door behind her. But she came and sat down next to Kaj. Missy stopped her pacing, and she said, "Well? Tell us for Moon's sake!" 

The tiny woman's voice was hard - she was keeping all her emotion locked up inside her - and Penny said carefully, her voice soft, "We stopped the bleeding, removed the bullet - but because it was silver, I'm afraid its going to take longer to heal."

Kaj let out a slow, shaky exhale.

"He may...still not make it, but.. that isn't the worst of it I'm afraid." Penny said softly, "Michael, he's a psychic healer - he connects with the mind, to heal that way - I'm... afraid that Steven didn't do this to himself." Missy choked out, "What? What are you talking about Penelope?" Kaj lifted his head - his jaw was tight - his eyes were so blue - they looked like liquid ice. 

"He was shot, traumatised - he was sexually attacked, and beaten.. but his attacker shot him. Michael was able to heal some but... I'm afraid that this has done a lot of damage to his mind, and its not helping Steven to heal."

Lyrena burst into tears - and Missy said hoarsely, "...But what was he doing out there in the first place... I don't understand." Her hands were shaking, and Missy lost her stoic strength - the tiny woman swayed a little - and Kaj caught her in his arms. He gently sat her down - and his gaze met Robin's. 

Robin just stared at Kaj, and then he said quietly "Can I see him, please... I won't cause any trouble... please I need to see him.." Tears spilled down his face, and Penny looked up at him. "You are his mate?"

Kaj whispered, "Yes." His hands were shaking, and Penny took his hand - "...You may come and see him, but only you for now - Lyrena, baby girl - I'm sorry, tomorrow... okay?" Kaj felt the punch of agony in his stomach and he said hoarsely, "No... no if Lyrena.." 

Lyrena just looked at Kaj and she said tearfully, "No Baby, no... you go... you can give him my love for me. Baby...please?" He looked at her and he stared down at Penny, she said softly - "He's not awake at the moment Kaj, only one of you can come in at the moment.."

He nodded, and they both went inside. Kaj could smell all the herbs they'd used - they were heavy and cloying, swathed all over Steve's belly - where he had been bandaged up - but the blood staining the bandage was black - dark black veins were travelling up his pale skin, poisoning. 

Kaj breathed out harshly - and Penny said softly, "I'll get you a blanket and a pillow, you're more than welcome to stay the night with him Kaj, there's coffee and food in the kitchen if you need it.." He just nodded - but Kaj's eyes never left Steve. "Kaj, if you want to lay with him, your body heat - your skin - your contact, may help - you're his mate - you understand yes?"

"Ja." He whispered, tears sliding down his face. "If you want to clean up, the bathroom is at the end of the hallway - I can get you something warm and dry.." Kaj said hoarsely, "Thank you." He realized he was holding his breath, Penny pulled the curtains closed around them - and Kaj shifted - he realized that he was soaking wet, and stained with Steve's blood. 

Kaj leaned down and kissed Steve's cheek - he was pale and sweaty, his skin felt cold and feverish. "Min lille ulv.. Jeg elsker dig." (My little wolf, I love you) Kaj left the little curtained off area - and Penny gave him the clothes, "There's towels in the bathroom." She said softly, gently cradling his face. "I'm so sorry Kaj." She said softly.

Kaj just nodded, he couldn't talk - he didn't trust his voice. When he locked himself in the bathroom - Kaj cried in the shower - he cried harsh broken sobs. He was terrified - scared that Steve was going to die. He was also furious, angry that Eddie had hurt him - had fucking shot him, forced him to have sex and beaten him again - he was scared of what he'd actually said to Steve as well. 

Because words were just as violent and dangerous as what he had done physically. Would Steve recover? What if he dies? Kaj cried harder - feeling sick in the stomach - But then he wiped his face, and braided his hair quickly - he dried himself off and got dressed in the clean clothes, throwing his blood stained ones in the trash.

Now? Now he had to be strong for Steve. He had to put all the other shit away. Because that wasn't going to make anything better right then. Kaj went back to the little room where Steve was, and he laid down with him. Kaj pressed himself up into Steve's body, careful not to hurt him - and then he interlaced their fingers. 

Kaj buried his face into Steve's soft hair, and he whispered to the AllFather. For protection - he thought about Eden, how the horse had been sitting with Steve. The Horse, had been there for Kaj to ride him back to bring Steve home. He would never have survived if he hadn't been there. Kaj refused to believe that he wasn't going to now.

Kaj whispered to Steve, "Du skal kæmpe mod lille ulv, vi har en tur at lave. Du og jeg, til vores eng." (You have to fight little wolf, we have a trip to make. You and me, to our meadow.) He brushed his lips softly against Steve's shoulder and whispered, "I... am so sorry that I was frightened, I...didn't mean to." 

Tears burned Kaj's eyes and he whispered shakily - "I didn't mean for you to go out there with that gun.. I know that's what you did Lille ulv, ...and you met that evil bastard out there instead." He whispered - "Jeg elsker dig, jeg er her nu, jeg vil blive her hos dig. Vær sød ikke at forlade mig." (I love you, I am here now, I will stay here with you. Please don't leave me.)

He had his eyes closed, but as Kaj laid their whispering to Steve - the white half of the claw around Steve's neck, the tiny runes glowed softly - listening to Kaj, because the claw was his. He murmured softly, "Come back to me.." Kaj whispered, "I need you lille ulv.." 

The angry black threads in Steve's belly were slowly fading, and Kaj kissed Steve's shoulder as he held Steve's hand, Kaj rest his head against Steve's body, his tears wet against Steve's skin. "Your Mama, Robin, Vicky... Jon, they all love you... Nate and Issy - all of us, we love you Steve - lille ulv.." Kaj breathed out shakily, and he whispered - "I.. I n-need you, please..." 

"I...don't think you are bad, I just.. didn't understand." Kaj said softly. "But I didn't mean to hurt you, it...I hate myself for hurting you, I didn't mean to make you think I don't love you - I... didn't mean to make you think I didn't want your kill." Next to him - Steve was laying there, with his eyes open. He was in pain, but he said nothing.

Kaj whispered, "I hope you'll forgive me.. if... y-you wake up." He breathed out harshly, and went quiet - Kaj was breathing all wrong, and he was laying there with his arm over his face as he cried. 

Kaj very seldom ever cried - Steve winced as he shifted, and then he whispered tearfully, "Kaj?" He was feeling all groggy and a little bit confused - the medicines were strong, but he still knew what had happened, but he also didn't like that Kaj was crying. "Kaj?!"

Kaj breathed out harshly, and then he looked at Steve - "...Steve.." He said hoarsely - he was careful as he shifted closer - and he breathed out against Steve's face - Steve exhaled shakily, and Kaj rest his forehead against Steve's - they both closed their eyes, and Kaj whispered "Jeg elsker dig." 

Steve whispered shakily, "I love you too.." Steve gently brushed his fingers against Kaj's face and Kaj let out a soft little whimper, Steve whispered - "I... I'm sorry.." Kaj pressed his fingers against Steve's mouth, "Nej, der er ikke noget at undskylde for." (No, you have nothing to be sorry for)

Steve let out a shaky exhale and Kaj whispered - "I..am though, I'm sorry lille ulv.." Tears slid down his face, and Steve whimpered - "You... still love me?" Kaj whispered, "Yes, fuck yes.. I.. don't know what.. I.. would.." He breathed out harshly, "...I...Steve.." Steve whispered shakily, "I...t-thought every time he...fired it I...thought I was going to die...I...just wanted to..be with y-you, j-just wanted you.." 

Kaj's face paled. Every time he fired it? Did he play Russian roulette? Steve whimpered, and he whispered - "He.. said he was punishing me, he...he wanted to kill me - he.." Steve let out a harsh sob, and Kaj had tears streaming down his face, he carefully pulled Steve back into his body, and Steve said tearfully - "Kaj... Kaj.."

Kaj whispered, "I've got you, I'm here.." Steve shifted, not caring about his stomach - he pressed himself into Kaj.

"I'm so sorry for what he did, what.. he said." Kaj said hoarsely, "I won't, I swear I'll never fucking let you go Wolfie." He rest his head against Steve's, and Steve looked up at him - and Kaj whispered, "I want to keep you safe lille ulv, can you keep fighting, can you be strong?" 

Steve whispered tearfully, "I just, I wanted to die Kaj, but then.. I was so afraid - when he was going to kill me, I just wanted you I kept thinking that I was never going to see you again.." Kaj kissed Steve softly, and Steve whispered shakily - "He...said.. if I had your pup in my belly I wouldn't anymore.." Kaj kissed Steve's tears away, and he whispered, "I..still have it, your..kill lille ulve.." Steve's eye lit up gold, and he whispered tearfully - "You kept it...w-why."

"So we could eat it together when you woke up." He whispered back. Steve let out a soft little sob, and he whispered, "B-but I'm a m-monster.." Kaj whispered, "No...not your not.. my lille ulv.. you're not, shall we share it now, it will make you feel better." Steve breathed out against his face shakily, and he just whimpered.

Kaj reached down and grabbed the bag, he took out the heart - and then he took a bite, and held it out to Steve, he took a small bite and then another, and Kaj cradled his head.

They shared another bite, but between a kiss - and Steve whispered tearfully, "Kaj.." He whispered back, "Steve...my little Wolfie... will you promise me you won't try to hurt yourself.." Steve whispered, "I...promise, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Kaj." 

Kaj whispered, "So am I - Sorry I was frightened.. I love you." 

Steve whispered, "I love you.. was it good, my...kill was it... delicious?" 

Kaj kissed Steve deeply, slowly - and he whispered, "It was, delicious and... sweet - like you lille ulv.." 

Steve curled into Kaj properly, and he whispered - "My...tummy it hurts...Kaj."

Kaj murmured softly, "I know, I'm so sorry lille ulv." He stroked his fingers against Steve's back and pulled him closer, nuzzled his face in against Steve's neck and Kaj breathed him in. "I.. was so frightened, scared you were going to die in my arms.." He whispered, Kaj was shaking - he let out another soft little noise in his throat - and placed soft little kisses against Steve's throat. 

Steve whispered, "Kaj..." He could feel how Kaj was trembling, and Steve knew how frightened he was, he could smell it in his scent.

"I... can't let you go." Kaj said softly. "I don't want to let you go."

Steve whispered, "You don't have to let me go, you stay right here - here with me I won't let you go.."

Kaj whispered, "Please... don't leave me lille ulv."

Steve let out a soft little keening noise in his throat, and he said softly - "Kaj, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I.. won't leave you. I.. I'm sorry.." 

Steve knew, he knew that Kaj knew why he took the gun into the woods - he wasn't saying it, but they both knew. That had nothing to do with what Eddie had done - it was an entirely separate thing. Kaj was crying, Steve could feel his tears against his skin - and it broke his heart for an entirely different reason. 

The fact that he had even been considering taking his own life - leaving Kaj, leaving him all alone? How could he even have been contemplating it? 

It was selfish, selfish and cruel. 

He knew he loved him. When he had been trying to get away from Eddie - when Eddie had tried to shoot him, all he had thought about was that he would never see Kaj again.

Kaj would never hurt him. Kaj loved him, he loved him.

Steve realized how twisted up in his head he had gotten again, because of Eddie. He had nearly taken his own life - because of Eddie. 

"I love you Kaj, I love you so much - please... forgive me... I love you.." Steve whispered, holding Kaj closer - he whimpered softly and Kaj whispered, "I love you too." Steve whispered, "Min nu... min.. my sweet Spooky.." They were both crying, and kissing each other sweetly - their tears falling as they lay there in the dark holding each other.

Steve whispered against Kaj's lips, "I'll never leave you Kaj - I'm so sorry, forgive me?" Kaj let out a soft little rumbling growl, and Steve growled back - they kissed deep and slowly, and Steve curled his arms around Kaj in the dim light - Kaj curled his fingers against Steve's side, Steve's eyes glowed gold - both of them more connected, and feeling closer than they'd ever felt. 

Kaj whispered, "I'm sorry he hurt you."  

Steve buried his face against Kaj's throat and breathed in his scent - he whispered - "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"No... stop." Kaj murmured softly, "No.. more of that lille ulv.. please?" He gently gripped Steve's chin - and they stared at each other, Kaj murmured soft against Steve's mouth - "He tried to kill you, he... tried to take you from me.." Steve let out a soft little breath - he just stared at Kaj, his breath catching in his throat at Kaj's soft - whispered words.

Kaj whispered, "I can't let him get away with it. I can't." He whispered, "He can't get away with it lille ulv, not this time..." Steve shivered, and he whispered, "No?"

Kaj whispered, "No. No he can't." Steve just stared at Kaj, and Kaj nuzzled his nose against Steve's - the silence spoke louder than if Kaj had said anything else.

Kaj didn't have to speak. Steve already knew.

This had awoken Kaj's monster, Steve shivered as he nuzzled the older boys throat. He didn't know what that looked like yet..

But he wanted to know.

Chapter Text

"Last one Steven. You'll either live, or you'll die - If you live - we'll play the game... and if you die? My Darling, I'll be seeing you soon..", "If his pup is in your belly, it won't be anymore.", "We'll either live together, or we'll die together Steven - if I can't have you... nobody else is going too. Till we meet again my love.."

Steve let out a shaky exhale, he was sitting curled up with a blanket wrapped around him - staring out of the window, the rain was falling heavily outside - and he couldn't sleep. No - instead, he kept replaying the last things that Eddie had said to him - seeing him knelt down over him - he could feel the cold kiss of the gun pressed into his stomach - and feel the bullet as it pierced into his flesh, burning through him - tearing him apart. He curled his arms tightly around himself - and Steve felt sick, he felt like he was going to vomit and yet he couldn't. There was nothing in his belly even if he wanted to be sick. His hands were shaking, and he couldn't get them to stop. 

It was late, he didn't know exactly what time it was - but it was late. Steve could hear the clacking of a clock somewhere in the house - he'd told Kaj to go and get some sleep, he hadn't wanted to leave him - Steve knew that, but at the same time - there was no point in Kaj making himself exhausted, Steve was still going to heal - however long it was going to take. He stared down at his stomach. The thick bandages had been replaced - it didn't hurt as much as it had a few days ago, the blood wasn't black anymore. But the process was slow, he wasn't healing anywhere near the speed he should have been healing. 

Steve guessed it was because the bullet had been silver. Penny the Doctor on the Rez - said he was lucky he'd survived. 

Steve felt a strange numbness, and he didn't know how to stop feeling it. Like a part of him maybe had died out there in the woods - maybe a part of him had. The part that believed that he had loved Eddie, or at least that is what he kept trying to tell himself. He closed his eyes tightly, and bit down on his fingers - Steve knew he was a complete fucking disaster. That no matter how much he told himself he didn't love him. He still did.

You are so fucking broken, and he broke you even more - and you still love him?

Steve was scared of himself in a way that he never had been before. Eddie had proved himself to be a complete monster - he'd ripped him apart - literally now. And Steve still couldn't get rid of the feelings that he had. He felt like his mind was a dangerous place and he had no control over anything. Kaj was quiet, careful - and it was scaring him as well. The others had finally come to see him, Robin holding onto him - terrified, and scared - and Steve hadn't been able to offer her much comfort. 

She knew without him saying anything, that he'd gone out there to kill himself. Only Kaj and Robin knew that. The others chose not to think about it - at least Steve thought maybe that's what they chose to do. And he didn't elaborate, he didn't say that was what he was doing out there - he couldn't bring himself to admit it. Lyrena had just held him close, and Steve had felt too ashamed to admit to her that he had wanted to end his life. For the first time in his life - Steve genuinely felt guilt.

He didn't like it.

Consequences for his actions had been that Eddie had taken that away from him - and tried to kill him instead. Now Steve was left with the terror of that night, it scarred his mind - and he'd probably have a scar permanently from the bullet. Penny had arranged for him to see a friend of hers in the city, to get a complete check up - she was going with him in the morning. She said it was important to make sure there was no damage internally. 

Steve knew she was saying that he might not be able to have pups in the future if there was. He didn't tell her that he didn't believe he should be a parent. Steve still believed that, he still couldn't shake off the feeling that he was poison. That he was corruption - the disease. He was just... wrong. Tears slid down his face, and Steve let out a shaky exhale - if he couldn't have a pup, he would tell Kaj to find someone else, someone that wasn't broken - that wasn't wrong. 

Someone that could give him a family.

Someone that was better than Steve.

His tears blurred his vision, and Steve realized that he had to tell Kaj that anyway - because Steve wasn't right for him. Kaj deserved better than him. The darkness inside him, the little voice inside his head - Steve couldn't silence it. Wiping his face, he stared down at his hands and then lifted his head as he heard a noise behind him. Kaj moved into the room - and he murmured, "...I couldn't sleep on my own so I came here.." Steve breathed out heavier, and he just looked up at Kaj - not able to find his voice.

"I'm glad I came back.." Kaj murmured softly, as he knelt down in front of Steve and then added - "I knew you weren't okay, I could feel it... please lille ulv, don't tell me that you're okay when I know that you're not.." His voice was rough, and Kaj curled his fingers against Steve's face. 

"I'm... sorry." Steve whispered, letting his eyes close - he felt like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs, and Kaj murmured - "You don't have to be sorry, I just.. you've been through some really bad shit, really bad - I don't expect you to feel nothing, okay? He... tried to fucking kill you Steve, he.. hurt you."

"Please don't... don't I don't want to talk about it." Steve said shakily - he curled his arms tighter around his body and breathed out harshly.

Kaj murmured, "But maybe you need too, get it out - you never talk, you just let shit fester inside you... till it rots and makes you get sick."

"I can't... I can't fucking t-talk a-about t-this!" Steve said angrily, pushing Kaj away from him - "P-please d-don't.. I c-can't... It's too m-much.. I c-can't sleep, I can't s-stop thinking about it.. I just.." He breathed out harshly, "I... I don't want it in my h-head.." Steve let out a harsh sob, "I'm so fucking scared, because I know h-how fucked up he is - I know what he did, what he said - it makes me sick... he.. he tried to kill me and I still...." He shook his head and looked away from Kaj. "No... I.. c-can't."

"You still love him." Kaj said softly, quietly - "You can't just shut it off - but you have to, because he's fucking poison - he's poison Steve, he's no good for you."

"I know that.. I FUCKING KNOW THAT KAJ!" Steve lost it - yelling at Kaj, his eyes vibrant gold - and Kaj just stayed calm, Steve was breathing harsher - and he was shaking, "I....fucking know I don't need you to tell me.." He hissed out, and then he leapt up - only just making it to the small bathroom, where he dry heaved - gripping onto the toilet, but nothing came up - Steve sobbed and then he just laid on the floor. 

Kaj scooped him up and Steve said pathetically, "No... no just leave me... stop it.." Kaj ignored him, and held him in his arms. 

"You're not pushing me away, no matter how much you try too. You've done this before, getting all pissed about something that upsets you - this time, you're not doing it." Kaj growled at him. "Not this time.. do you hear me?"

Steve whimpered tearfully and then bit him.

"That doesn't bother me either." Kaj rumbled softly at him, and Steve sniffled - making soft little noises in his throat, and Kaj just said softly - "Little shit."

They were both quiet, Kaj was rubbing his back in soothing strokes - and Steve could feel the tension leaving his body. "Want me to carry you back to Mama Lyrena's? Hmm? You don't have to stay here all by yourself, we can bring you back to get your dressing changed - or... hell we can do it at the house.."

"Yeah... okay.." Steve said softly, he curled his fingers into Kaj's hair - the older man had it out, and Kaj said softly, "I...know that your heads all over the place, I'm not going anywhere lille ulv - You're going to be alright.. I promise." Steve lifted his head, golden eyes meeting Kaj's piercing blue. "You think so?" He whispered. 

"Ja, I know so.." Kaj said softly, "Hopper called today - Jonathan told him what happened.. kind of - not every detail, he didn't think it was his place - but.. Eddie apparently told Jim he didn't want to work for the BAU anymore, told Hopper to go fuck himself." 

Steve just stayed quiet, and Kaj snorted - "Fucking psychotic asshole. Should report his ass so he goes to jail for what he did."

Steve breathed out slowly, and Kaj gripped his chin gently, "Want to go back to Mama's?" Steve nodded - and then he whispered, "Kaj.. will you come with me to see the Doctor in the city tomorrow?"

"You really think you were going by yourself? We're all coming with you." Kaj said softly and then he nuzzled his nose against Steve's - then in against his throat, scenting him and Steve whispered, "Oh... you are? All of.. you.." He felt calm wash over him, and he relaxed into Kaj's warmth.

"Mhmm ja, of course.. sweet lille ulv." Kaj whispered, and then he curled his fingers into Steve's hair and whispered - "Let's get you back where its nice and warm, and you can have cuddles with everyone hmm? Poor Issy - he's been dying to get in here, little shit - he's been worried sick, Penny hasn't let him come in - because she was worried he would hurt you trying to cuddle you."

Steve smiled, and whispered - "He's a sweet little thing."

Kaj let out a soft rumbling laugh, and he said softly - "He is, for a teenage little punk."

Steve let out a soft little laugh of his own and Kaj murmured, "Hold onto me.. hmm?" Steve did - and Kaj wrapped the blanket around Steve more, carrying him bridal style out into the night - but he opened an umbrella. "You don't have to carry me around you know.." Steve said softly.

"You hush.. hmm I'll carry you wherever I please.." Kaj rumbled at him - and Steve smiled softly, it wasn't a big walk - but he curled his head against Kaj's chest - listening to the steady thud-thump of his heartbeat. When they got back to Lyrena's house - everyone was all piled in the living room, "Kaj... you shouldn't have brought him out in the rain!" Vicky said softly, but she made a snuggly spot in the cushions and Kaj sank down with Steve still in his arms. 

"I didn't want to leave him there by himself." Kaj's voice was all husky and soft. 

Jonathan and Robin immediately snuggled closer to them - which meant that Issy woke up - and he just stared at Steve with big eyes - which turned Gold, and then he whimpered softly - "Stevie, my homie... bro... are you okay?" Steve said softly, "I will be if you give me a cuddle?"

Issy snuggled up to him straight away and made soft little noises - Steve felt tears burning in his eyes, and Issy whispered - "I'm gonna rip that mother fucker's throat out myself."

Steve just curled his fingers into the younger boys hair and said quietly, "No. No you aren't you're not going anywhere near him. Not ever. You promise me that." Everyone was quiet - and Issy whispered tearfully, "I promise."

Steve held the younger boy closer, and then he lifted his gaze - Steve's eyes were vibrant gold, tiny Mina had come out to the living room - in her little pink pajama's - her little stuffed wolf in her hands - tears in her eyes. "Stevie?" She said his name in a soft, tiny voice and Steve said softly - "Come here Baby?" She quickly came to him, and snuggled up - burying her face in against his chest, then in against his throat - both her and Issy were scenting him and Steve nuzzled them back, Lyrena's eyes met Steve's and he smiled at her - even though tears were sliding down his face.

"I love you Stevie, I don't want you to leave!!" Mina said softly, and then she whimpered - "I.. prayed to the great spirit asked him to save you, I did... I think he listened. He listened cos you're still here, don't leave me... please? I'll be good, I promise.. I want you to stay here, stay here with us." Steve felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

"I'm... not leaving Mina." He whispered to her, and she curled her little hands in his hair - "I promise." 

Kaj kissed his temple, and then he curled his fingers into Mina's hair - then Issy's. Steve closed his eyes - and Lyrena said softly - "This, this love is what you need Baby, all your pack - it'll heal you up so much faster, I promise you.." He held his hands out for them, and everyone piled in - careful of not hurting him and Steve said tearfully, "I need you, all of you - I'm so fucking sorry... I'm so sorry.." He was crying, harsh broken sobs - and he could feel everything, all the emotions, piling in all at once.

Steve breathed out shakily, and stared at Kaj - Kaj murmured softly, "It's okay Baby..." He gently cradled Steve's face - resting their foreheads together and Steve whimpered in his throat, Kaj breathed out soft against his face, and Steve let himself just feel it - he keened in his throat, and breathed in their scents, their warmth - he let it sink into his body, deep into his bones. Steve could feel the sting of his fangs as he bit into his lips - and then he let out a soft, rumbling growl. Kaj nuzzled his hair and then licked against his throat, and it felt so good - soothing, and right. He's safety, he's your safety.

He shivered, and Steve whispered - "I love you, I love you Kaj." 

Kaj murmured softly, "I love you too Baby, it's okay - you're safe now." 

~***~

Eddie had seen Kaj carry Steve out of the building - he breathed out slowly, rage at the sight of Kaj - made him want to rip him to pieces. Relief - that his beloved boy, his sweet precious treasure had lived. Of course he felt remorse for what he had done, but at the same time - Steve had to be taught a lesson. He'd betrayed him - he had left him in Virginia, and now he was what? Just going to shack up with Kaj like Eddie meant nothing at all? Eddie growled in his throat. It was a set back, of course it was - but Eddie knew, he knew that Steve still loved him. 

He would get him back. He would always get him back - maybe not straight away - but he would.

Eddie was soaking wet, and he was cold - but he mostly just wanted Steve. He ached with it - he was losing his mind. Tears mixed with the rain - and he breathed out harshly - his breath forming mist in the air. He'd thrown in his job at the BAU - he didn't want to work there, but Jim Hopper of course hadn't let him do it - so he was on temporary leave. Eddie scoffed in the dark - temporary leave. He was officially in Washington to investigate the so-called murders that Steve was supposed to be investigating. 

Jim Hopper knew that Steve wasn't doing anything - Jonathan had said he was finding his family instead - which Hopper had been pleased about. It was all fucking sunshine and goddamn daisies - except that it wasn't. Eddie wasn't just going to let Steve get away with it - he'd wanted to play the fucking game. 

The game was now officially in play. 

So Steve had survived the gunshot wound - and Steve had wounded Eddie - so they were currently a 1-1. He breathed out slowly, red eyes glowing - he raked his fingers through his hair, and then climbed back into his car and drove back to his motel. It was a shitty fucking dump - probably infested with bedbugs and who knew what the fuck else. But Eddie didn't really give a shit about any of that - he looked at the bed, where both Michael and Ghost were currently sleeping soundly.  

Eddie knew, they were the way he would get Steve to talk to him again - properly, face to face. He had specifically found them, for Steve. After he had his strange dream about them - when Steve had disappeared on him without any explanation - Eddie had realized it was because of Jim Hopper and his interfering bullshit. He had shown Steve the report he'd written - before he could show Steve the false one - maybe Eddie shouldn't have lied about it.

But he had for Steve's own good. He still had the report from the other Doctor - which is the one that Hopper had chosen to go with, and it was far worse that the real report Eddie had written. 

Because what Steve didn't know, but Eddie did? 

Was that Jim Hopper was a lying sack of shit, and he had been lying to Steve for years. Jim Hopper knew a lot more about Birdy, Steven Black - than Steve knew. Robert, Bobby - Steve's father, had been on Jim's radar long before he killed his wife and daughter and strung himself up from the shower curtain rod. 

You see the thing was, Bobby Harrington - had been a killer, just like Eddie - unable to quiet the monster inside him - it was part of the reason why he kept dragging his wife and two children from pillar to post around the country side. Why he drank himself into a stupor every night - why he eventually went insane and committed murder/suicide. He'd been killing woman, raping and killing them - and leaving a trail of chaos behind him - and Jim Hopper had been on his tail from the get go. 

He'd had him in his sights - and was probably the reason why Bobby Harrington finally lost his mind, and did what he did. 

Jim Hopper wasn't Steve's knight in shining fucking armor. 

He was the reason that Eddie lost his beautiful boy - why Steve was taken away and locked up in psychiatric hospitals, and then forced from one boys home to another. Then Foster home - to Foster home. He was the reason why Steve got broken in the first place. 

But Steve didn't know that. Only Eddie and Jim Hopper knew that piece of truth. And Jim Hopper had no idea that Eddie knew that either. 

Eddie had spent so long, trying to find Steve - and then when he had found him, his beautiful sweet boy. He'd been so fucking broken - he spent most of his time either blacked out, or so lost he didn't know what was real and what wasn't. Under Jim Hopper's control and influence - he'd wound up on Human medications that only made him get sicker and more lost.

Made his brain shut him in a darkness that he couldn't escape from. 

So fucking traumatised that they had convinced him that Eddie wasn't even real. 

And now?

Now that piece of shit - good for nothing piece of trash - was trying to steal his mate?

Eddie snarled in his throat, and wanted to tear everything around him to pieces. But he managed to silence himself - and took a deep breath. 

He drank whiskey straight from the bottle - and looked again at the two sleeping boys. Michael and William. They hadn't been too difficult to find - Michael was a beautiful boy, all sharp angles and tall - dark eyes as black as night. Flighty and uncomfortable - William, he was quiet - and sick. He stunk of sickness - cancer. Untreatable - it was in his blood. Michael was devastated - there was nothing that Human medicine could do. Not anymore.

They were just waiting for the cancer to kill him. Heartbroken - and desolate. They had given up their music - Eddie found them because they were not hard to find. 

He could offer them a solution, Steve - could give them hope - he could save Ghost, save William.

By giving him the bite. 

He could save them both. Because Michael was an addict - dying by choice because he didn't want to live if William was going to die. 

They had become the Lost Souls, their music claimed them to be. 

Eddie watched them sleeping, and he knew - he knew... that he could give Steve the one thing that he knew Kaj couldn't. Steve would die for these two boys - they had been his lifeline and his family too - and he didn't have a dream, a vision about them for no reason. 

Steve was supposed to save them both. Eddie knew it - Steve was Shar, he was the Goddess - he could give them the Bite, and they would become Vaikštynė.

"I will get you back, and if you don't come to me willingly....well..." Eddie flicked his claws out - "I'll just kill them... they're going to die anyway.." His voice was soft, but he had no emotion - he'd get Steve back however he had too. Steve wanted to play the game.

So we'll see how willing you are my Darling, to play with me.

Chapter Text

The Hospital seemed cold and sterile, or at least the room where Steve was waiting felt that way. He was wearing a horrible hospital gown, he was cold - and he was alone. They had been going to do a specific type of scan, but then the technician had stopped and left him sitting there waiting. Steve shivered and curled his arms around himself, he raked his fingers through his hair and let out a soft exhale. 

Kaj was in the waiting room with the others, not happy that he hadn't been able to come - but that was just the way they did these things. Steve lifted his head when the door opened and one of the Doctors came into the room, which was strange - a Doctor and not the technician that had been going to do the scan.

"Hello Steven, I'm Dr. Ambrose - I.. have some news, we did the blood work first - and it's actually a good thing that we did, I rang Maryanne our technician... we can't proceed with this specific test." Her voice was gentle and soothing, and Steve said softly - "I.. don't understand? Did something show up in the blood work?" She nodded, and then said softly - "Yes it did, and given the things that you've been through I need to approach this delicately." 

He bit down on his fingers, and shivered again - rather violently, he was just so cold. Dr. Ambrose said softly, "Are you cold Steven, would you like a blanket?" She got up and then grabbed a blanket out of the warmer and she very gently draped it around his body.

"Thank you." He said softly. She rolled her seat over to him - and then she said softly, "Okay so - this test that we were going to do, it was a specific type of CT Scan that used a dye, but the dye can be dangerous in certain circumstances, which is why we can no longer do it." 

Steve nodded, and she said - "I understand that you were sexually assaulted, as well as being shot.. I'm very sorry that happened to you Steven, if.. you need some help? Someone to talk too, we can arrange for you to have that if you need it." He shook his head and said quieter, "No I don't need that, I... don't want to talk about it."

Dr. Ambrose said softly, "Steven.. this is difficult, and please forgive me.. I don't want to cause you pain, or hurt you - are you sexually active with a partner?" Steve's hands were shaking and he whispered, "I.. have a boyfriend, yes." She nodded and then she said softly, "Okay... Steven the blood work shows that you are currently pregnant." 

Steve closed his eyes, and she said softly - "Now, I don't know yet.. if this is due to the assault, or... if you're fortunate enough for it to be because of you and your boyfriend. The point is... that's why we can't do the test. The good news is.. being shot, didn't harm the fetus - and it also didn't do internal damage like Penny had suspected."

Steve said quietly, "Can.. you find out.. more?" He was just staring down at his hands, and Dr. Ambrose said softly - "Yes, we can do an ultrasound - that is perfectly safe, we can do some urine tests - and I can also do a physical examination, but that might not be something you are comfortable with at the present time, I'm trying to be as gentle and kind with you as I can be." 

Steve said softly, "...I'll do whatever needs to be done.. Penny said you are a specialist with... with.." He closed his eyes tightly - really struggling to keep it together.

Dr. Ambrose said softly, "Can I hold your hand Steven, would that be okay?" 

Steve nodded and she held his hands, gently stroking her fingers. "Yes love, I am a specialist that deals with male Wolves that get pregnant. We can do these tests relatively easily, and you'll have some more answers, I'll do whatever I can to ease your mind - to help you. I promise." She said softly.

"I..." Steve just went silent and then he whispered, "Okay." He felt sick in the stomach - and she said softly, "Well start with the urine test, I'll give you this little pottle - you pee in it and then come back, I'll get the ultrasound machine in here while you do that okay?" 

Steve nodded and slipped off the bed, taking the little plastic pottle from her he slipped into the bathroom - he was panicking as he sat in the little cubicle, he stood up and then peed in the pottle - screwing the lid back on and then he flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He put it on her desk and she said softly, "Okay hop back up on the bed there and lay down, we'll pull this gown up and put the blanket over your legs so you don't get cold again." 

He just stared up at the ceiling - and Dr. Ambrose said softly, "The jelly is cold, I'm sorry about that.." She spread it over his belly - and Steve just let his eyes close. The scar on his stomach - was healed, but it was a permanent scar. 

Steve bit his lip and stared at the wall, he didn't want to look at it - he didn't want to look at the screen. Dr. Ambrose was pressing buttons - and taking measurements, and pictures. "Well... good news, you're about nine weeks.. so.. it didn't happen because of the assault." She said softly, wiggling the scanner over his belly.

It's Eddie's pup. Eddie's pup is in my belly.

Steve let out a harsh sob, and he hid his face by putting his arm over his head - breathing out shakily, and Dr. Ambrose said softly - "Steven, ...are you not happy about this news?" She reached gently for his other hand, and Steve whimpered shakily - "It... it isn't my ...it.." He couldn't breathe properly, and Steve just gasped out - Dr. Ambrose said softly, "Lets get your belly cleaned up." 

She wiped the gel off, and then covered him back up, helping him to sit up - she held his hands, and offered him some tissues. "You can talk to me, say whatever you need to say - I am here for you, here to listen - to help you." 

He breathed out shakily, and curled his arms around himself - his hair falling down around his face. 

"It isn't my boyfriends, not who I am with n-now." He whispered, Steve wiped at his face - "It... it's I wasn't with him then, its... Father is the man who hurt me." He whispered - and Dr. Ambrose said quietly, "The.. man that assaulted you, was your former boyfriend?" Steve nodded yes and Dr. Ambrose said softly, "I am so sorry Steven." 

Steve let out a harsh sob, and he whispered - "I... d-don't want it. I don't want it... I need it out of me.." 

"If that is something you want, we can arrange for that - you still have time." She said quietly, her voice soothing - "But maybe it is something you want to think about too, you've been through a lot - you have another four weeks, before it is too late for termination ideally." Steve breathed out harshly, and he went still - not speaking. Why won't she just get rid of it. 

"Maybe you need to discuss it with your family, and your boyfriend?" She said softly, "This is a big decision, I ... just want you to be sure. That's all." Dr. Ambrose said in her soft voice, "I know that you're frightened, but.. you have a lot of people that love you, and care about you - and you've been through some serious trauma."

"I want it out of me." Steve said coldly. "I don't fucking want it. I'll just fucking pollute it anyway." He pushed her hands away from him - "Don't fucking touch me." His voice was ice - and Dr. Ambrose said quietly, "Okay Steven, I'll find the information for you - for a clinic, or.. you can do that if you're going back to Virginia? Do you want me to get your Mama? Your boyfriend?"

"No... I don't want anyone." Steve's voice was emotionless, "I just want to get dressed and get out of here."

"Alright, I'll go and get the information for you, you get dressed - I'll be back in a moment." She said softly, and Steve said coldly - "I don't want you talking to Dr. Penny about this either. Just tell her the tests were fine, normal and that's it." 

Dr. Ambrose nodded, "I won't, that's your decision - I'll put that in the report back to her, you can give it to her later?" Steve just sat there staring at his hands, and she said softly - "Okay, I'll be back soon." 

Once he was alone, Steve closed his eyes tightly - and he broke down, sobbing into his hands - harsh broken sobs, he tangled his fingers in his hair and slapped his head - breathing harshly, and then he slid off the bed and went into the bathroom with his clothes, Steve used his claws to slash up his arms - then he let them heal, and then he did it again - he repeated the process, and then tore the gown off himself - shoving it into the bin, he got dressed back in his clothes - splashing cold water on his face. 

His eyes were liquid gold - and Steve whimpered - sinking down to the floor, he knew he had to pull himself together. 

He just didn't know how too.

Steve sat there just staring into space - he wanted to scream, he wanted to tear everything to pieces. He wanted to rip it out himself. Eddie had nearly killed his own pup.

Pity he hadn't. Steve slapped himself hard - slashing his face with his claws - it hurt, it hurt enough to make him hiss - the claw marks healed instantly and Steve stood up shakily and then he snarled at his reflection. "Get a goddamn grip... you fucking piece of shit... get a fucking grip!" 

Steve puked into the sink, wiping his mouth - he washed it away and then splashed more water on his face. He breathed in and out slowly and then he left the small bathroom. 

Dr. Ambrose had an envelope - two of them, and he took them from her and then he stormed out of the room, not saying anything else to her. He walked up the corridor - and then he said to Lyrena, and the others, "We can go now - I'm fine, nothing wrong with me. Just a scar after all that bullshit." His voice was calm - his face neutral - and the only sign he wasn't okay was that he flinched when Robin reached for his hand, and he wouldn't look at anyone.

He couldn't.

Kaj was quiet, watching him - but he didn't say anything - he was careful, and Steve didn't look at him either. "Lets get the hell out of here - fucking hate this place." He walked ahead - not stopping, and not wanting to hang around. 

The others were behind him, and Steve really didn't care - he just... needed to get out.

***

The others were talking - conversation was light - they were joking and leaving him alone, and Steve was curled up - staring out the window. He had his hood up - and pretending that he was asleep. Steve tried to just keep as calm as he could - so he didn't set alarm bells off with his scent. 

He stayed where he was when they got back to the rez - and Lyrena said softly, "Kaj... leave him be baby, he'll come inside when he wakes up - come inside.." Kaj was reluctant - but eventually he did go - and Steve closed his eyes, once he was alone - he slipped out of the car, and then he made his way up the road - and shoved his hands into his pockets. 

Steve made his way to the big meadow - he just wanted to be alone, alone with his demons - alone with the shit in his head. 

Steve sank down into the grass, and then just laid there all the flowers - hiding in them. He stared up at the sky - watching the clouds, as tears slid down his face. Bees were buzzing around softly - and Steve draped one of his arms over his face, before he curled into a ball on his side. He didn't think about the fact that he hadn't told anyone where he was going, and that he probably should have. 

Steve hadn't been thinking about that - a shadow moved over him and Steve panicked, his entire body going tense - and he jolted upright - his scent reeked of fear instantly.

Eddie knelt down in the grass and he said quietly, "Hello Stevie."

His eyes were instantly gold - but Steve said nothing. He just was frozen in place. 

"I know you're not happy to see me." Eddie said softly, "...Not happy at all.."

Steve's heart was pounding so loud in his ears, tears slid down his face silently - and Eddie shifted closer - but Steve backed up immediately. 

"I...am not going to hurt you." Eddie said softly, he reached out - and pulled a piece of grass out of Steve's hair - Steve pissed himself, the heat of his piss - made him let out a fearful whine - and he just hid himself as best as he could, which really just meant curling into a small fetal position.

If Eddie had thought he'd seen Steve afraid before - he had never seen him like this. He was completely terrified - this was a level of fear that Steve had never shown towards Eddie previously. 

Eddie knew that he'd made a really poor decision doing what he'd done. He could hear the erratic way that Steve's heart was pounding - the fear in his scent was beyond anything he'd smelt - and of course he'd pissed himself. He shifted closer and he whispered, "Stevie.. Stevie, I.. am not going to hurt you.." 

He whispered, "I found Ghost Stevie, Ghost and Michael?... they're at my motel room, Ghost is sick.. he has.. Cancer. Michael is sick because he's making himself sick - Nothing can be done for Ghost - he's going to die.. unless you save him. You can save him Stevie.. give him the bite, give them both the bite... make them your pack." 

Steve's hair was covering his face  - but his liquid golden eyes were visible through his hair. He just kept making soft, fearful little whining noises - and Eddie murmured, "You remember your vision? You're dream... that they were sick from the blood, he has Leukemia Stevie, blood cancer... he.. is going to die - if you don't save him. Do you not want to come and see them both?"

Eddie held out his hand, "I can take you to see them? They want to see you, look... I took their photos.." He reached into his pocket - and then took out two polaroid's, and then he placed them down in front Steve. "So you know I'm telling you the truth.." Steve's eyes darted down -  he wacked at the pictures and whined softly again. He was breathing all wrong - eyes darting up to the sky, and then Steve made soft little clicking noises. 

Eddie picked the photos back up, and he shoved them back in his pocket - Steve curled in on himself more, and Eddie laid down right beside him. 

"Stevie.." Eddie whispered, and he rest his hand on the grass - close to him, but not touching. 

Steve's eyes darted down, and he wacked at Eddie's hand - Eddie caught it, and then he interlaced their fingers - which made Steve curl his head down, hiding his face. His hand was limp in Eddie's and freezing cold. 

Eddie whispered, "Stevie... my sweet Boy.."

Steve whimpered softly, and Eddie shifted a little closer - then a little bit closer - till they were so close - his breath blew Steve's hair gently as he exhaled. 

"No." Steve's voice was so quiet it was barely audible. "Bad."

Eddie whispered, "I am, I'm bad. I am bad Stevie."

"Bad." Steve said again, but he breathed out in a rush - and he was still breathing all wrong.

Eddie whispered, "Stevie is good."

"No... Bad." Steve whispered - "Bad... bad... bad.." He just kept saying it, and Eddie whispered - "No... Stevie isn't bad, Stevie is good." 

He whined - and Eddie whispered, "I'm bad. but you're good - good sweet Stevie."

Steve clicked softly instead, and Eddie gently brushed his hair out of his face - Steve's whining - got louder, and Eddie scooped him into his arms - and Eddie, injected the needle into Steve's neck before he could start screaming. 

Eddie breathed out slowly, and he murmured softly, "It's okay my sweet boy, I've got you now... I've got you, I'm going to take care of you Sweetheart." 

Steve's eyes fluttered closed, and he whispered - "Eddie..." He went lax, as the sedative took effect - and Eddie murmured, "That's it my Darling, go to sleep now.." He scooped Steve up into his body, and then stood up - carrying him the same way he came in, into the darkness of the woods - and out to the main road - then he put Steve into the back of the car, and covered him with the blanket. Eddie got into the car, and he murmured softly - "It.. doesn't matter bout the game sweet boy, I just want you with me where you belong..."

Eddie started the car - and then he headed back to the motel. 

Chapter Text

Eddie had given the first room to Michael and Ghost - and got a second room for himself, knowing that he had every intention of bringing Steve back to the motel. He didn't want them to see Steve if he wasn't happy to be with him, and because he'd had to drug him? That was a certainty. He carried Steve into the room, and shut the door - locking it behind him. Eddie had already closed all the curtains up, he had cleaned everything - because it was disgusting and he wasn't putting Steve into a bed like that - he hadn't slept the entire time he had been there with the two boys next door. Eddie didn't need to sleep - he would sleep later, maybe never at this point.

He didn't care about sleep. The room was clean - he'd brought sheets that were clean and made the bed fresh. He had brought clean clothing for Steve from home - his home, he wasn't planning on taking Steve back to his house in Virginia, Eddie wasn't planning on letting him out of his sight. Not again. Never again. Eddie carried Steve into the bathroom, which again he had cleaned till it was as clean as he could get it - he filled the bath up, and then stripped Steve off - the clothes were wet with piss, and he wasn't leaving Steve in them any longer. The water was hot and Eddie gently laid Steve down - stripping off himself and then he lifted Steve up and held him as he got in with him.

"I'll take care of you now.." Eddie whispered - he kissed Steve's temple, and washed him gently - cleaning away any trace of the urine - and the scent of that bastard. Eddie washed Steve with is favorite soap, so he'd smell like him instead. Mine. He nuzzled his face into Steve's hair - and then carefully washed Steve's hair - Eddie breathed out shakily, as he stroked his fingers over the scar on his belly. Tears burned his eyes, he hated himself for doing it. That his madness had driven him to shoot Steve. Eddie cradled Steve close as he washed his hair - he murmured softly, "Myliu tave, mano mielasis. Aš tavimi pasirūpinsiu." (I love you my sweet boy, my Darling.  I will take care of you.)

Eddie rinsed the shampoo out, and he whispered tearfully - "Why did you leave me, ... why.. I didn't mean to hurt you, not the first time.. I.. never meant too." Steve was sleeping soundly, and Eddie kissed him softly, brushing his fingers over his face - "I'm dying without you Stevie, my... whole world is empty without you." Tears slid down Eddie's face, and he whispered, "Aš negaliu gyventi be tavęs, aš nebegyvensiu." (I can't live without you, I won't anymore) Eddie curled his arms tighter and he murmured, "I had to do this, I know you still love me.." Eddie nuzzled his face against Steve's face, into his hair and he whispered, "You're mine, you've always been mine.. and I'm yours.. forever."

"Mes eisime ten, kur niekas mūsų neras. Tik tu ir aš." (We will go someplace, where nobody can find us. Just you and me.) Eddie whispered, and he curled his fingers into Steve's hair - "Mine, my sweet Baby.. they all lied to you, all of them - but I only did, that one time. Once, just to keep you - so you would come and we could talk. I wanted you to keep coming to talk to me. He took you away in New Orleans, he took you - and it took me so long to find you again. Always so long to find you.." Eddie whispered, "I killed him before I left Virginia.. I killed him and his bitch whore wife. I ripped them apart.. I should have done it years ago Stevie.."

Eddie murmured against Steve's skin, "Aš išsaugojau jų širdis dėl tavęs, padariau juos kažkuo, ką gali valgyti." (I kept their hearts for you, made them into something you can eat.) Steve made a soft noise - and Eddie whispered, "I've got that in the fridge, I'll give it to you to eat. You liked the last sausage I made." Steve's eyelids fluttered a little, and Eddie whispered - "aš tave myliu.." (I love you) Steve whimpered, and he slurred, but didn't make much sense and Eddie whispered against his mouth, "Hush my sweet boy.." Steve's eyes opened, and he just looked at Eddie, but his eyes were unfocused and Eddie murmured softly, "I've got you... my Darling."

Steve smiled, a dopey - soft little smile, and Eddie murmured - "My sweet boy.." He kissed Steve softly, and then finished washing him - Steve slurred softly, "Daddy.." Eddie murmured, "Yes, my Baby - Daddy, I've got you.." Eddie curled his arms a little tighter, and Steve shifted, curling up against his chest - and snuggling in. Eddie closed his eyes, and Steve nuzzled his neck and then slurred softly, "Eddie... my.. Eddie." Tears burned Eddie's eyes, and he whispered - "Yours..." He shifted, and then lifted Steve up as he got out of the tub - Steve just laid against him and Eddie grabbed one of the towels he had brought with him from home, he wrapped it around them both and carried Steve back into the other room. 

Eddie sat down as he carefully dried Steve off - the younger man was lax and pliable in his arms - and Steve had lost weight Eddie noticed - he murmured softly, "You haven't been eating.. I'll make sure you do.." Steve had his eyes open again, but he was silent - and Eddie wrapped the towel around him, and left him on the bed - he went back into the bathroom and let the water out of the tub, and then grabbed the hair brush, and then he put another towel around his waist. Eddie sat down - and Steve was quiet as Eddie brushed his hair - it was so long, and Eddie hummed softly - Steve wasn't as cold as he'd been when Eddie first found him in the meadow.

He made a soft little noise as Eddie brushed his hair - and Eddie said softly, "Everything is going to be alright now.." Steve blinked slowly, and then he whimpered - and Eddie said softly, "Hush now.."

Steve pushed Eddie and Eddie murmured, "No.." He put the brush down and then he whispered - "No Stevie.." Steve whimpered - and then he bit against Eddie's face, it wasn't hard - just a soft little bite, and he whimpered again. Eddie curled his arms around him and he whispered, "Don't be frightened.." Steve breathed out against his skin, he crawled into Eddie's lap and he pressed in closer - and Eddie whispered, "I missed you too, I missed you.." Steve was breathing him in - rubbing his face against Eddie's neck, and making soft little noises in his throat. Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's back, stroking his fingers.

"Bad.. bad..." Steve whispered, "Bad Eddie.." He whimpered it - "Hurt me. Bad." He bit him again and Eddie whispered, "I am, I'm bad... I'm sorry my sweet boy." Steve hissed out, "Try to kill me.. bad. Hurt.. Bad hurt.. Hate me.. hate me." He was shaking, and Eddie whispered - "No I don't hate you. I don't hate you - I'm bad, I'm bad and broken - I'm broken when you're not with me." Steve was breathing in soft, shaky little breaths, and he whispered - "Hurt me... hurt me bad. Why... Why?" 

Eddie bit against Steve's neck, softly - and he grazed his fangs - then licked soft with his tongue, and Steve suddenly dragged his claws - digging them into Eddie's chest, it hurt - it hurt deep and good, and Eddie let out a soft hiss, his eyes burned bright ruby red - and the claws marks healed instantly - Steve breathed out harsher, and he bit Eddie again - sinking his fangs in deep, into that soft spot between his neck and shoulder. Eddie cradled Steve's head against him - and he let him bite him. The pain was deep, but then Steve lapped lazily slow with his tongue - and Eddie let out a soft rumble - he had his eyes closed and Steve whispered, "Fuck you."

He tugged Steve's head back, and Steve's eyes were liquid gold - the sedative had worn off now. Eddie breathed out against Steve's face - and Steve was just staring at him. Eddie stared back at him - and they were both breathing heavier - waiting for the other to do something, to move - to speak - but neither of them were. Eddie knew if he'd kept pushing Steve's wolf-side would burn the sedative off, and he had. But Steve's scent didn't smell of fear like it had in the meadow - Steve just smelt like he always smelt, sweet and musky and delicious. As well as having Eddie's scent all over him.

As he should. Eddie thought.

"Fuck you." Steve said again - and Eddie murmured, "Do you want me to fuck you?" Steve snarled at him - and Eddie snarled back - they breathed out heavily again and Steve's nostrils flared - he was breathing Eddie in - and Eddie said huskily, "Yes? Is that...what you want hmm? My sweet boy.." 

"Don't fucking call me that, I'm not yours.." Steve hissed out - and Eddie murmured, "Lies.. you're mine, you're always... going to be mine." 

Steve whispered, "No." He pushed at Eddie, and tried to get out of his embrace - out of his lap - but Eddie just held him tight. "Fucking let go of me!" Steve snarled, and Eddie said softly - "No."

Eddie murmured, "I'm not letting you go..." He brushed his fingers against Steve's face - and Steve breathed out shakily, "No...fuck you Eddie - don't fucking touch me, don't hurt me... you don't even know what love is... you don't.... love me.." 

Eddie pushed Steve down into the bed and Steve whimpered softly, "No... no what is love... fucking no... don't hurt me... don't hurt me anymore.." 

Steve let out a sob, and Eddie kissed him deeply - stroking his tongue slowly into Steve's mouth - kissing him deep and slow, possessive - and he pulled their towels away from them both - Eddie curled Steve's legs up around his waist and he didn't break the kiss, he rolled his hips - and Steve gasped out - "No... no..." Eddie whispered, "I love you... I know... you love me Stevie.." He could smell how aroused Steve was, and he whispered - "I know you want me.."

"No... no I d-don't.." Steve whispered shakily, and he whimpered as Eddie rubbed his cock against Steve's wetness - "No?" He murmured, and he licked into Steve's mouth - "No you don't want me?" Eddie's voice was all husky and soft, and Steve whimpered - "No.. no Eddie.."

Steve writhed, and then rolled onto his belly - trying to get away, and Eddie moaned softly - and then he lifted Steve's hips - and licked against his pussy, tasting his wetness - and Steve moaned softly, "No.. no stop... stop... you're not fucking me... not r-raping me.... again.." 

Eddie lapped lazily with his tongue, and he sucked softly - and Steve's pussy got wetter, Steve moaned breathlessly - and Eddie moaned softly, "You taste so fucking good Baby, my sweet baby boy.." 

"Stop... stop.." Steve whimpered, but then he curled his fingers - and pushed his body back, and Eddie let out a soft, rumbling growl - "That's it sweetheart, don't fight me... don't fight what you want, and it won't hurt..." He buried his tongue deep inside Steve's pussy, and he moaned as he did it - Steve cried out softly, and he was trembling, his whimpers so sweet - and Eddie licked up his back, pressing his body in close as he murmured against Steve's ear, "Nothing hurts like missing you..." 

Steve was shaking, and he whimpered tearfully - "Stop it.." He was breathing shakily, and Eddie stroked his fingers against Steve's body - "I love you, I love you sweet Baby... my soul will always cling to you, I need you..." He whispered, "If I can't have you, then kill me Stevie.." 

Steve let out a sob, and he shifted - moving so he was facing Eddie - he just stared up at him, and Eddie whispered, "I'll give you the knife... I'll give you a silver fucking dagger and you can cut my heart out.."

They stared at each other and Eddie whispered - "I'm nothing without you.." 

"Stop it.." Steve breathed out shakily against his face, and Eddie whispered - "I can't.." Tears slid down his face - and Steve whispered, "I don't want to look at you..." 

Eddie whispered, "I don't want to look away..." He licked into Steve's mouth, and Steve tried to tilt his head away - Eddie breathed out against his throat, and then he stroked his fingers against Steve's legs, pulling them up around his waist, he slowly pushed his cock into Steve's pussy - and Steve tilted his head back, tears slid down his face and Eddie murmured against his ear, "I belong inside you.." He rocked his hips slowly, and Steve curled his fingers against the bed. 

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's throat - and he whispered, "I only know how to love you..." Steve's breath hitched and Eddie eased out slowly, only to push back in again - torturously slow, Steve's wet heat taking him in deeper, and clenching around him and Eddie whispered, "I can't.... I won't let you go... I can't unlearn you... my language is you written into me... my darling... my sweet beautiful boy.... mine..." Steve moaned and he whispered, "No... no..." 

They were making love, slow - and deep, and torturously good - it was intimate, erotic - and irrevocably addictive. Steve stared up at Eddie, and Eddie just stared down at Steve - "aš tave myliu." (I love you) Steve arched his body - and Eddie kissed him, they kissed deeply - Steve was kissing Eddie possessively, hungrily - and Eddie moaned into his mouth, he whispered - "If you want me to give you the dagger, I will.... I will Steven, its the only way I'm going to let go... if I'm dead." Steve clung to him, and he whispered - "No... no.... no...." 

They kept rocking together, dancing their addictive - passionate dance together, and Steve gasped out - "No... Eddie, my Shadow..." Eddie whispered, "My beautiful sweet Baby..." 

Steve whispered breathlessly, "Maybe we should... die together.." Eddie breathed out against Steve's face, "Is that what you... were doing out there.." 

"Yes....yes Eddie.." Steve had tears blurring his vision, and Eddie whispered, "I'd have followed you, if you did it..." He kissed Steve's tears away and Steve breathed out shakily, his breath hitching as Eddie's cock hit into that spot, and he cried out shakily - Eddie whispered, "I love you.... I love you..."

"I love you..." Steve whimpered it against Eddie's mouth, and they shared their breath - Eddie moaned soft in is throat - and Steve whispered, "Oh...oh....Eddie.." He let out a sob as he felt Eddie's knot - Eddie was shaking - and he whispered, "I...need you, Stevie... I...need you..." He was crying, and so was Steve - they were locked together, and Steve whispered - "You tried to k-kill m-me..." Eddie whispered, "You killed me.... leaving me to be with him." 

Eddie looked haunted - and Steve whispered, "You...could have killed our pup."

Eddie snarled, and he rocked his hips - harder - both of their eyes lit up at the same time - and Steve growled - "You could have killed our Pup.. I have your pup in my belly - your pup!" He cried out as Eddie fucked into him - driving his knot deep, harder into his prostate - the both of them coming together in overwhelming intensity - and Steve cried out, "You put your pup in my belly Eddie..."

Eddie was losing control and so was Steve - Steve's claws shredded the bed beneath him - and Eddie growled out, "You... you're lying... lying.." He breathed in the heady overpowering scent of Steve's musk as he started to gush around his knot - and Steve was crying out, "No... no m'not... I have a picture of it in my pocket in my pants.. you can see it... you...you can see it.." They were kissing again, and Eddie growled in his throat - biting down against Steve's neck, and Steve tilted his head back - wanting Eddie to re-claim him. 

Eddie licked and then he bared his throat - and Steve bit down hard - he dug his fingers, his claws into Eddie's ass - and they kept rocking - Steve's cock was pulsing cum between them - and he was shaking apart - Eddie gripped Steve's chin and he growled, "Open your mouth.." Steve whimpered but he did - and Eddie spat into his mouth, Steve whimpered and he swallowed it down - and Eddie rolled them over - Steve stared down at him - and Eddie tangled his fingers into Steve's hair - he pulled him down closer and then he growled, "... My turn..." He opened his mouth, and Steve's eyes burned brighter - he spat filthily into Eddie's mouth, and Eddie growled, deep and rumbling - and swallowed it - and Steve was riding Eddie faster - and Eddie moaned as his knot pumped more cum into his pussy - Steve curled his claws against Eddie's chest and dug them in viciously.

Then he leaned down and lapped up the blood - which Eddie then lapped from his mouth - he pulled Steve in flush against his body, and then he held Steve's hands behind his back and pounded into his pussy - making Steve scream out - they just kept going, they kept going - moving between slow torturous - and then fast and brutal. And Eddie's knot didn't go down - he just stayed locked into Steve's tight wet pussy. Steve collapsed against Eddie, whimpering softly - and Eddie rolled them back over - they were both lazily stroking each other - kissing slow and lazy, getting tired - and Steve whispered, "I'm... sore... I'm not... going to be able to walk..."

"I'll carry you.." Eddie said huskily, and Steve whispered - "...You fucking abducted me you goddamn psycho." 

Eddie murmured, "You.. belong with me." Steve breathed out softly, and he whispered - "This is fucking insane Eddie... we're... not right in the head, either of us." 

"Since when did you give a shit about that?" Eddie murmured, and Steve looked at him - his hair was all spread out under him and Eddie brushed his fingers against his face - "Hmm? Why...do you give a fuck about being normal... hmm?" Steve just stared at him - his beautiful eyes staring at Eddie, till he lowered his gaze. "I have family up on that mountain Eddie - pack." Eddie's fingers were tracing over his face - and Steve let his eyes close - "...I...bit Jonathan, Robin and Vicky - they are my pack too." 

Eddie hadn't been expecting Steve to tell him that. His fingers stilled - and Steve stared up at him again. 

"So... what are you saying." Eddie murmured. His own eyes were dark as night - intense and Steve whispered - "I'm not saying anything other than I have pack. Family."

Eddie murmured, "That don't want you to be with me." 

"Can you fucking blame them after what you've done to me?" Steve snarled it against his mouth - and Eddie breathed out softly, making Steve shiver - and he whispered, "...You fucking hurt me."

"I know." Eddie said quietly. Steve breathed out shakily - "I... don't trust you Eddie - why did you write that fucking shit about me.." 

"I told you, it was the only way I could guarantee I could keep seeing you, talking... to you - you didn't remember me, because of your black outs, because.. your mind was fractured... I.. knew if I wrote that bullshit, Jim would make you keep seeing me.. But when he took you out the unit, it wasn't my recommendation he used anyway... I told you that and it was the truth. He used the other Doctors, and so .. my plan failed anyway." Eddie's voice was soft, but raw and Steve knew he was telling the truth.

"I.. meant what I said, wanting you to be free of... all of it, Jim Hopper was a poisonous piece of shit... he knew your Father, tracked him - was hunting him.. Bobby was a killer Stevie.. he was mad... his wolf was Feral, and Jim was on him - he did what he did.. to escape it. Then Jim took you - and... I lost you.. I fucking lost you!" Eddie's voice broke and he was crying.

Steve breathed out shakily, and he gently cradled Eddie's face in his hand - "Daddy.... he.." Steve's voice was a hoarse whisper - and Eddie whispered tearfully, "I swear its the truth - I have it all, records of everything, and I was going to show it all to you - but... you left. After he showed you what I'd written.." 

Eddie whispered, "So I tore him to pieces - him and that whore cunt Joyce." 

"You....killed them?" Steve murmured, as he brought Eddie's face closer - and Eddie whispered, "Turned them into sausage, and bacon ...and prime cuts."

Steve couldn't help it - he let out a teary, yet slightly hysterical laugh and Eddie sniffled - but then he grinned too - and Steve whispered, "You're a fucking complete nutcase Darlin'." 

"You can eat them for breakfast? Hmm... we both can, and Michael and Ghost.." Eddie murmured, he said it against Steve's mouth - and Steve whispered, "Ghost and Michael? What are you talking about Shadow?"

"I... brought them here... they're in the room next door Stevie, hmm... I told you but, well you were a bit feral and scared...then I drugged you. Ghost... he has Leukemia - he's dying. And Michael... he's so addicted to Heroin... he's not that far behind." Eddie's voice was hoarse, and Steve whispered - "You... brought them here to me, to give them the bite... to change them, because you knew that I could... didn't you." 

"Yes my sweet boy." Eddie murmured softy. 

Steve said softly, "Fuck sake Eddie." He whispered shakily - "That's what my dream... my vision was about, the blood being bad.. and the corruption ..." He stared at Eddie, "...Why did you go looking for them?" He asked softly. 

"Because they were your family too, because they gave you peace and love when you were lost in New Orleans... because it hurt you when they left." He said softly. 

Steve whispered, "And so you found them, and then knew that I could save them both - to keep them together."

"Yes my sweet boy." He murmured softly, and Eddie whispered - "I... also thought I could get you back that way too.." 

Steve stared  up at the ceiling - and they both breathed out softly, feeling Eddie's knot finally easing. Eddie slowly eased out of Steve's heat - and Steve whispered - "My legs feel like jelly... we'll go and talk to them in the morning?"

"Yes... in the morning.." Eddie whispered, but then he got up and went into the bathroom - and Steve let out a soft shaky exhale, resting his arm over his head. He didn't need to look to know what Eddie was doing. The older man came back, and he was holding the ultrasound picture. "...You were telling me the truth." Eddie said quietly.

"You think I would lie about that?" Steve said just as softly.  He stared at the wall, and Eddie suddenly leaned down - and then he was kissing Steve's belly, over the scar - and he was crying again. Steve bit his lip hard, and he said tearfully - "Stop... stop Eddie...p-please...."

Eddie just lifted Steve into his arms, into his lap and held him - and they both cried together, holding each other - Eddie said hoarsely, "Stevie..."

"Stop.. Eddie... no.. don't.." Steve sobbed and he whispered, "Don't..." They breathed out shakily, and Eddie whispered - "...Are you going to leave me again."

Steve breathed out shakily, and he whispered - "Don't ask me that right now, I can't..." 

Eddie was shaking as he breathed Steve in, burying his face against his throat - and Steve curled his fingers into Eddie's hair - "Stevie..." Eddie whispered - and Steve sobbed out, "Stop Eddie.. stop!" 

Steve laid back down and he pulled Eddie into his arms, cradling him in close to his body - and Eddie made a pathetic noise - and kept crying. Steve cried silently - and Eddie curled his hand against Steve's belly, Steve let his eyes close - but he interlaced their fingers and Eddie curled his entire body around him. "Your my family, my pack..." Eddie whispered against his ear, "You and our Pup." Steve shivered, and he whispered, "Go to sleep Eddie." Eddie whispered, "You're mine.." Steve whispered tearfully, "Eddie.... go to sleep." Eddie licked the back of his neck. 

Steve shivered again - soothed by it, and he whispered, "Go to sleep my Shadow." Eddie murmured, "My sweet Baby...." His fingers curled possessively against Steve's belly, "My Babies.." Steve whispered, "Hush now... go to sleep Darlin." Eddie licked the back of his throat again, and Steve felt his eyes getting heavier. "Mine..." Eddie whispered again, and Steve whispered - "Hush now..." Eddie was scenting him, and Steve shifted his head, scenting him back - the two of them soothing each other. "aš tave myliu..." Eddie whispered against his mouth, and Steve whispered back, "aš tave myliu Eddie.."

Chapter Text

Steve woke up before Eddie - his body hurt, and he somehow managed to get to the bathroom to piss - he felt shaky, and scared - and somehow he knew he had to try and get away from Eddie. That it was just not okay for him to stay, no matter what had happened the night before. It wasn't okay - their entire intertwined fucking obsession was a sickness. And they were dangerous together - it was the reality, no matter how much he loved him. Because even after everything.. Steve still loved him. Would always love him. And it was dangerous. It was unhealthy - they were kerosene and a match - and together they were a raging inferno, that would burn and destroy each other and everything around them. 

They didn't belong together. He breathed out shakily, and didn't know where Eddie had put his clothes - when he saw them in the bin, Steve made a face - they stunk of piss. Which meant Steve had pissed himself. No wonder they were in the trash. He slowly made his way into the other room - and saw the suitcase, there were clothes in there that Steve knew Eddie had brought for him. He pulled them on and then tied his hair back as best as he could. His hands were shaking, but Eddie was still asleep - Steve crept silently out of the room, and he wasn't sure which room next door Ghost and Michael were in - he followed his nose.

There was a strange, peculiar smell - it smelled like decay and rot. 

Steve knocked softly on the door, and it opened a crack - then wider. Ghost was frail, and as beautiful as he'd always been - older, his eyes were sad. That horrible smell of decay and rot was coming from him. Steve moved into the room, and he curled his arms around the older boy - Ghost whispered, "Steve? I wasn't sure that creep next door was actually telling the goddamn truth.." Steve whispered, "He was about me.. at least I think so. Not sure what he told ya.." They held each other, and Steve's eyes landed on the bed - where Michael was out of it - nodding by the look of it.

Ghost whispered, "He said you were up in the mountain with your family, that... you had a gift to give me, that would..." He trailed off - and whispered, "I think he's a nutter though so... I just am glad I get to see you before.." Steve cradled Ghost's face, and he whispered - "William... its true, I'm a Wolf - but a special kinda Wolf, I can give you the bite and it will change you, you'll become like me... and the nutter next door - although, not really because you won't be a psychopath." Ghost just looked at him, "Your not as frightened as you were back in the day.."

"That ain't exactly true Darlin'." He murmured and Ghost stroked his fingers against his hair - "You sure are beautiful though, mind you... you always were." Steve blushed and he whispered - "You always were too..." Steve's eyes glowed liquid Gold and Ghost whispered - "Woah... so...okay then.." He let out a soft laugh, and Steve nuzzled his face - "You're really sick hmm.. let me help you?" Ghost whispered, "You want too... even though we lost contact, I'm... so sorry Steve.." Steve lead them both over to the other bed, and he laid down, "Come lay down here.."

Ghost laid down, and Steve said softly, "Come snuggle.." They curled up together, and Ghost murmured softly - "...So.. Eddie said you're up here with my little brother." He bit on his bottom lip and Steve said, "Jonathan is your brother?" Ghost nodded, "...Byer's... Joyce is my Mom too - she...disowned me though, for being queer." Steve frowned and Ghost said softly, "Doesn't matter it was a long time ago - she just didn't want me around." Steve brushed his fingers through the older boys hair and then he said softly, "I have to bite you, here.." He brushed his fingers against Ghost's neck - between his shoulder and neck, "It'll hurt.."

The older boy said softly, "Can't hurt worse than the pain I'm already in Stevie.." Steve nuzzled his face against the older boys cheek, and Ghost murmured - "I've missed you Stevie, we both have - I swear to you we have..." Steve said softly, "I missed you too, had a dream bout you both.... knew - Eddie went lookin for you.." Ghost whispered, "He's kind of intense, bit weird.." Steve laughed softly, "Yeah I know.." Ghost smirked, "...You're a bit intense and weird too ain't ya.." 

"Mhmm." He brushed his lips against Ghost's neck and then he sank his fangs in - he pushed his shadow in, and Ghost let out a soft whimper - Steve curled his arm around him and brought him in close - Ghost's eyes fluttered shut - Steve smelt the change in his scent, it changed almost immediately. That horrible decaying rot, shifted and bloomed - blossoming into Honeysuckle and citrus, and Steve nuzzled against his throat, scenting Ghost - he pulled back, and Ghost whispered - "Holy...fucking shit.." 

His eyes were a vibrant swirl of violet and blue - and beautiful. 

"I feel... amazing Stevie.." Ghost said softly, and Steve murmured - "You will, you're reborn now.. you're gonna live for longer, be stronger - faster, and you can shift into a wolf." 

Ghost just curled into him and whispered, "Thank you Stevie, thank you.." Steve whispered, "Your my pack, my family. You don't need to thank me Ghost." 

They laid there, talking and catching up - and Mike started to stir - he sat up - and then he said with a raspy voice - "Jesus Christ - I thought that wacko was full of shit.." Steve and Ghost both laughed and Mikey smirked, and then he got up - Steve slipped off the bed, and he looked up at Mike. "Yeah you got way taller.." He laughed and Mike gripped his chin, "Your got way fucking prettier, Jesus.." He kissed him, right on the lips - and Steve blushed and then said softly, "Hey Mikey.." The older boy smirked, "Hey.." Ghost let out a soft laugh and then shifted over in the bigger bed, and patted it, "Come lay down with us Mikey..." His eyes Wolfed-out and Mikey murmured, "So... its true then.."

Steve's eyes turned liquid gold - and he said softly, "Mhmm.. do you want me to bite you too Mikey.." Michael said softly, his voice still raspy - "Yeah of course I do.." Steve pulled him into the bed, and Ghost curled in against Steve's back - Mikey said softly, "This is ...kinda sexy right now.." Steve just laughed softly - and Ghost whispered, "Yeah it is..." Steve said softly, "Am I the filling in your fantasy sammich right now?" Ghost whispered, "You kind of always were Stevie.." 

Mike smirked, and murmured - "Yeah you were just always so scared with those sweet Bambi eyes of yours.." Steve blushed - and he whispered - "I don't need sexy complications I have enough already, trust me..." Mike raised an eyebrow - "Oh yeah?" Ghost laughed softly, "One of them is the wacko next door isn't it.." Steve said softly, "Mhmm.. and the other one is up on the mountain - but I've known him, longer than I've known the two of you..." Mikey brushed his fingers against Steve's cheek, "I know who it is.." 

Steve let out a soft breath and Ghost whispered - "Kaj Valentin.." Mikey said softly, "Exactly... we remember - your knight in shiny armor.. he still your knight Stevie?" 

He nodded, and then he nuzzled Mikey's throat and bit down - Mike let out a soft little noise - and he curled his fingers against Steve's side, but was pulling Ghost in at the same time - Steve pushed in his shadow - and Mikey breathed out sharply - Ghost whispered, "Wow... its like all this dark light came out of your body, and went into Michael... is that what you did to me too?" Steve pulled back, and he said softly, "Mhmm you saw it Ghost?" Ghost said softly, "Yeah... you know I see weird stuff... spirit... energy... Like Kaj.." Steve nodded - and Mikey's eyes went completely black - his entire eye. "That's different," Steve said softly, and Mike's fangs were out too. 

Mikey murmured - "Damn you both smell really fucking good.." Steve laughed softly, and he whispered - "So do you.." Michael smelt like deep dark spices and amber - "Wonder what color your fur will be Michael.." Steve said softly, he looked at Ghost, "Yours might be like Jon... his is grey and all shaggy - he's a pretty Wolf." Ghost said softly, "I.. miss Jon." Steve said softly, "He's gay too." Ghost said, "He is?" Steve laughed softly, "Mhmm.. hes like in love with my baby cousin.. its cute as hell." Ghost grinned and Michael said, "Can we shift into our fur?" 

Steve licked his lips - and murmured, "Michael... we have to get naked to do that.. and you're all horny.." Mikey smirked, "Come on... we can just be a little bit dirty.. we don't have to fuck.. you can always just watch us... we both know you always liked that.." Steve blushed and Ghost whispered against his ear, "We know you liked it, we used to deliberately fuck when we knew you were watching.." Steve breathed out softly, and he whispered - "...If he finds out, he'll lose his shit - he can't find out.." Ghost murmured, "Well protect you..." He pulled his shirt off - and then shimmied his pants off - and Ghost was naked. 

He kissed Steve softly, and Mikey smirked - "Get your clothes off and show us.." He was pulling his clothes off too - and Steve said softly, "Fuck.. yeah okay .." Steve pulled his clothes off - and Steve let out a soft little moan as Mikey suddenly pulled him into a deep kiss, and Ghost curled his body in closer - they were rocking into Steve and Steve let out a soft moan - Ghost kissed him too and Steve whispered, "Jesus..." He shifted  said breathily, "You just breathe and think about being in your fur - its... easy... look - think about your claws.." Steve did and then his claws elongated out - both Mikey and Ghost watching, and then Steve growled - and he shifted into his fur - Mikey said husky and soft, "Holy shit..." 

Steve licked his face - and Ghost curled his fingers into Steve's fur - "You're beautiful.." Steve licked his face - and then Ghost was suddenly in his fur. Ghost was a super pale shade of Grey - bordering on almost white - and Mikey grinned - "Holy.... fuck.." He was stroking them both, and Steve said to Ghost, "You're beautiful, and different to Jon... you suit your name.. Kaj's nickname is Spooky, he's white as snow.... you're Ghost... and almost white.

Holy shit I can hear you in my head. Ghost was wagging his tail. 
 
Steve laughed, This is how we talk when we're in our fur.

Michael breathed out slowly - and then he shifted - he was black, black as Steve - maybe blacker. Like a raven's wing - he had a slight blueish tone to his fur - and his eyes were black too. He literally embodied a Shadow.

Michael... you're the Shadow to his Ghost... you're beautiful. Steve licked his face again and Ghost let out a happy whimper.

Michael laughed in their heads - Holy fuck this is awesome. 

Steve shifted back into his skin, and then Ghost did too - Michael shifted back, and Steve said softly - "You're both happy?" 

"I'm fucking happy as a clam.." Mikey smirked and then he cradled Ghost's head in his hands, "Fucking... happy as fuck.." He whispered and kissed Ghost deeply, "I...get to keep you with me.." 

Ghost let out a soft little noise, and he whispered, "Always and forever Mikey.." Steve had tears in his eyes, and Mikey said softly, "Stevie, this means everything to me, to us both.." They both pulled him into their arms, and Steve whispered - "I'm... just so fucking happy I was able to do it." He looked at their hands, and realized that they had rings, "You're married?"

"Have been for six years, yeah.." Mikey said softly, "Went to Canada." 

Steve cuddled them both and he whispered - "M'so happy for you both." Ghost whispered, "Sweet puppy.' Steve laughed, and Ghost grinned.

He blushed and then whispered, "I... should probably go back next door, I.. don't want too, but.. he wakes up and I'm not there he's going to lose the plot. If he hasn't already." He went quiet, and Mikey said softly, "Are you frightened of him Stevie?"

Steve whispered, "It's... fucking complicated, yes - and no." He raked his fingers through his hair, and he said shakily - "I... don't know what to do, but... my family, my friends - Jon... theyre going to be freaking the hell out because they don't know where I am right now, and .. he's dangerous." 

"We will go up there and let them know you're okay - we'll go to Jon, you tell us where to go?" Ghost said, he looked at Mikey, "We can do that... right Baby?"

"Of course we can... Jon's up there? Your brother Jon?" Mike said, confused - Ghost laughed, "He's queer too - and in luff with Stevie's baby cousin.." 

Mikey snickered, "Oh realllly." Ghost and Mikey were both giggling, and Steve said - "You need be nice, Jon's shy - an now that I now what your mom... was like I think I know why.." 

Ghost said softly, "Yeah she was a bitch, is... Kaj up on the mountain?"

"Yeah.... yeah he is.." Steve said quietly, and he said shakily "You... gotta tell him not to come here... please... please don't let him come here.." Tears welled up in his eyes, and Ghost said softly - "Stevie.." he breathed out in a rush - "He'll try too... please... please don't let him... don't let him come?!" Mikey gripped Steve's chin, "I'll do everything I can to stop him, I promise you." Steve whimpered and he pulled his clothes back on - "Drive straight up the mountain - my Mama's house, is the one with all the colorful shit in the garden, you'll know what I'm talking about - it has lots of windchimes.." He cradled both of their faces, and then kissed them both - "I might not see you again." He whispered - "So.. if I don't, I love you both - I've always loved you both. Take care of each other.. take care of Jon.." Steve whispered it to Ghost, "He's a good sweet boy."

Tears welled up in Ghost's eyes, and he said softly - "You're scaring me Stevie - I don't like Eddie, and I don't like this.." 

Mikey said quietly, "Just leave with us - we'll all go right now.." 

Steve whispered shakily, "I want too Mikey, I do... but.. I.. don't think I can.." He looked up at Mikey, "He already tried to kill me - and I can't let him hurt anyone else, and he will."

"I really, really don't fucking like this.." Ghost said - curling his hand around Steve's wrist, "Stevie.. please, please leave with me and Mikey.."

Steve whispered against Ghost's cheek, "I...can't, not yet.." He slipped off the bed, and Mikey - frowned - "... Stevie.."

"I have to go back.." He whispered, "I want you both to leave as soon as you can... don't stay here alright? Promise me..." 

Ghost wiped the tears off his face, and Mikey said quietly - "We will..." Neither of them were happy about it though, and Steve said softly - "Just trust me, its.... b-better t-this way.."

Steve slipped out of the room, and he breathed out shakily, he went back into the room next door - and by some miracle, Eddie was actually still asleep - Steve went into the bathroom and he shut the door - stripping off, he took a shower - and washed himself completely, making sure he got the smell of both Ghost and Mikey off him completely - and then he changed into different clothes, he put the others into the bag with the dirty clothes and then took them out to the big trash bin and dumped them in. He got a soda, and then came back, drinking it and just curling up in the chair - biting his fingers. 

Eddie was still asleep. And he saw Mikey and Ghost walking past the window - he spied - watching them in the carpark down below - their car leaving, and Steve bit his bottom lip. He breathed out shakily, tears welling up in his eyes, and he let out a startled noise as Eddie suddenly said against his ear, "How long have you been awake for?'

"A... little w-while." He said softly, staring up at Eddie - the older man was watching him, his gaze intense - and Eddie pulled on a pair of pants, lighting a cigarette - he took a drag, exhaling lazily. "Do you think that I'm stupid Steven?'

Steve just stared at him, and Eddie murmured - "I know you went next door - did you already bite the both of them? Hmm? Send them up the mountain did you."

"What are you talking about." He asked quietly, and Eddie gripped his face and snarled out - "You really do think that I'm stupid.." He stabbed another syringe into Steve's neck and Steve whimpered, "N-no.." Eddie's growl, of "Yes you fucking do.." Was the last thing Steve heard, before his world faded out - and he felt himself black out.

Chapter Text

It was dark, and cold - Steve felt like he couldn't move properly - and there was an awful smell, acrid - burning his eyes and his throat. It made his eyes burn to the point where they were actually watering with it - it smelt familiar, like he had smelt it before but he couldn't place it.

Like it was a memory - somewhere in the back of his mind, he coughed and tried to breathe in - but that hurt too. When Steve went to speak - his voice didn't come out - just a rasp - he tried to move his body, and realized that he couldn't do that either. Panic made him kick - and he heard a clunking sound - heavy and it sounded like wood. 

It was so damn dark too - "Hello?" His voice just came out like a hoarse whisper. He couldn't remember anything - where he'd been, what he'd been doing - "HELLO!" He tried to yell - but it didn't come out right. 

Steve whimpered, he didn't know what was happening - but he was scared he knew that much. He tried to listen - for anything that sounded familiar. But he couldn't really hear anything either. Just muffled heaviness. He knew if he didn't try to calm down, the feeling of panic would only make it harder to breathe - but of course he didn't know how to stop panicking.

The smell was so bad, that Steve gagged with it - he kicked his legs again, and the heavy thudding clump sound made him think that he was in a box of some kind. It sounded like it - so he tried to move his arms - and Steve realized they were behind his back, he was tied up. No, no, no....

Then he remembered - Eddie.

He'd been taken to that Motel room by Eddie, that he'd given Ghost and Michael the bite - that they had gotten away. He hoped they had gotten away.

What has Eddie done, where the hell am I?

Steve was cold too, so cold - despite the confinement he was clearly in. Bone cold - he could hear his heart pounding in his head, erratic and fast - the smell he realized was urine. The acridness of it was because he'd obviously been wherever he had been for some amount of time, and it was bad.

The fact that he'd pissed himself again, meant that he had been too afraid. Or he'd just been stuck wherever he was for too long and hadn't been able to go to the bathroom. He breathed out as slowly, as carefully as he could - wondering, if Ghost and Michael had made it back safely to the Rez. Had they made it back to tell the others where he was?

Were they safe from Eddie? Steve had no idea what was happening outside of his confinement. All he knew was that Eddie had officially lost it. 

I don't think Eddie officially had his sanity to begin with. If you don't get away from him, you... need to get away - you need to fight back. 

Steve didn't know how he was going too, he didn't know where he was - but he did know that he wasn't going to just take whatever bullshit Eddie planned on doing. Was Eddie taking him somewhere? Was he taking them back to Virginia? Was it even Eddie that had him? Steve wriggled a little, and then he somehow shifted his arms - he focused and let his claws out, feeling that he was tied up with some type of rope - he used just one claw, to slowly cut it. 

He had his arms free, and Steve whimpered at the pain in them. His entire body hurt - his arms felt like dead weight, like they weren't really working properly. He touched his face, and realized he had a bag over his head - so he worked to get that off, and he could breathe a little bit better.

The material of the bag, was soaked with something - something that smelt awful, some kind of drug? Steve didn't know what Eddie had used - but then once Steve got the bag off, he felt sick to the stomach all over again. 

Because he was in a coffin. A fucking coffin. The lid was just above his face - and lined with soft velvet, it made Steve's blood run cold. Because Steve wasn't stupid - and neither was Eddie. The older man was sending him a message. 

If you wake up, this is your reminder. I'll kill you before I let you leave me again. 

He was in a fucking coffin. It was big enough for him to move, just enough - he could only see because he was a Wolf. That was the only reason and he knew that. Steve saw the oxygen mask, and he put it on - breathing in deeply, it felt like relief instantly - he just laid there, his heart pounding in his ears.

He wasn't wearing the clothes he'd put on, just an over sized shirt - Steve had no underwear on, he felt sick knowing that Eddie had undressed him and put him in this. 

What else did he do to me while I was out cold?

Steve let his eyes close, he had lost his faith - in God when he was a child. But tears slid silently down his face - he wished that he had the naivety, the false hope in God in that moment. That he could have had something to hold onto - a glimmer of hope, that he would get out of this.

That God could have heard him if he had prayed. But Steve wasn't a fool, and he knew there was no God. There was nobody to answer any prayers he might have had. Nobody was coming to save him. In the darkness, all Steve could do - was hope that he might die. 

He took the mask off - wondering how long it would take to cut off the air, before he'd just stop breathing, and die inside the coffin. 

~***~

Back at Black Water Reservation, the panic had started when Lyrena Black had gone out to the car to wake Steve and found him gone. Then the reality of what he'd been doing out in the woods that night with a gun, with a silver bullet had really hit home. Because nobody had wanted to accept what he'd been doing that night. Lyrena had run back into the house - eyes wide, fear loud in her scent. Kaj had known straight away that it was because Steve was gone. 

The hunt for him started straight away - everyone went looking for him, and nobody could find him. The last known place Steve's scent was found - was the big meadow. But it hadn't just been his scent, Kaj had smelt Eddie's scent too, and that was more terrifying for everyone than the fact that Steve was missing. Because they knew, that he wasn't just missing - Eddie had him. Kaj had been going out of his mind, Jonathan and Robin too. 

They had been trying to figure out their next move - when Jonathan was phoned, to say that his Mother and Jim Hopper were found murdered. 

Jonathan had just been sitting by the telephone, face white as a sheet - his wolf eyes electric green - staring at Kaj. Robin said shakily - "It was him, he did it - he killed them... he did this." All Kaj could do was try to comfort Jonathan as best as he could, because for now? They were like his pups - new and a little green, and not sure of themselves. Steve was their anchor - and without Steve, Jonathan was a wreck. Kaj had to try and keep himself together for the sake of the others, but he felt like he was losing his grip - his control.

Then out of the blue it seemed - maybe it was a miracle?

Two boys showed up, and Steve had sent them - because Steve had changed them. One of those boys - was Jonathan's older brother William. Who Jonathan hadn't seen in a really long time. Ghost he went by, they were Steve's friends from New Orleans - the boys he'd told Kaj about. That he had his dream, his vision about. Ghost had been diagnosed with Leukemia - and had been terminal, they hadn't been able to do anything more for him. Eddie - fucking Eddie had shown up and brought them to Washington, told them they could see Steve - and that he could help them.

Ghost and Michael, had seen Steve. They had said that Steve was terrified, but he had changed them - then sent them back up the mountain. Ghost and Michael, Jonathan got his brother back - and then Ghost got to find out that their Mother was dead. There wasn't any love lost between Ghost and Joyce. She'd disowned and kicked him out for being queer. And it made sense to Kaj, all of a sudden, why Jonathan had been so miserable, why Steve said he'd been so desperate to cling to his romantic relationship with Nancy Wheeler. 

He didn't want his Mom and Jim to know he was queer too. But Ghost and Michael had said Steve had been scared - really scared, and hadn't wanted them to go back to the motel - that he hadn't wanted Kaj to go there. Kaj wanted to go - he wanted to go and fucking rip Eddie's throat out, and get Steve back. But everyone had told him not to do that. That they needed to come up with a better plan. Some of the other guys, the older guys - specifically Steve's two uncles Nate and Elias wanted to get a few more of the other guys together. 

Kaj wasn't entirely sure if that was a good idea or not. Eddie was clearly a psychopath - he couldn't bare the thought of Steve being alone with him though, knowing what he'd already done. 

What he hadn't expected though, was for Jonathan to pull him aside - away from the others. Jonathan's eyes had stayed that vibrant electric green - ever since he'd found out about his Mother and Jim. He'd pulled Kaj aside and said to him, that they needed to go and get Steve - that they couldn't leave him alone with Eddie. Kaj knew he should have said no - that they should wait, but Jonathan said to him if they wait, what if Eddie killed him? That he'd already tried, that he'd already shot him - nearly done it already.

So, him and Jonathan - took Steve's car, and they drove off the Rez when everyone else was asleep. They went back to the Stone Pine Motel - but when they got there?

Eddie and Steve weren't there, the mother fucker had already checked out. 

And Eddie had left Kaj a letter on the bed.

Kaj hadn't read it yet - he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to read it. Jonathan had been quiet the drive back to the Rez. They both knew, that it wasn't going to be easy to find them. Kaj had the envelope tucked into his pocket inside his jacket. He pulled Jonathan in close, and he murmured softly - "I don't want you to tell anyone that we went there yet, or what we know."

Jonathan just nodded, tears welling up in his eyes - which were still that burning bright green. 

"You're going to go after them.." Jonathan had whispered it back to him, and Kaj just nodded - "You're going to stay here, with your brother - with the girls. You're going to keep them safe Jon. They're going to need you to do that, I need you to do that." Jonathan was scared, Kaj could smell it in his scent - but the other man had nodded, and Kaj pulled him in close. "You are strong and brave, I know you are." He'd placed his hand over Jonathan's heart, "You were meant to be a wolf, and you are now... protect our pack Jonah.. my brother."

Jonathan pulled him into a tight hug, and Kaj said softly - "I'll bring him home. I promise."

Kaj had packed up his things, putting them into his bag - and then he'd wheeled his motorcycle out to the main road. Only then did he take the envelope out of his pocket - his hands shaking a little as he undid it and pulled out the piece of paper. He felt physically sick as he read the words that were written elegantly on the paper.

Dearest Asshole Kaj,

It would appear that you have somehow managed to sway him against me, how you managed to pull that off so quickly - I don't know. But it's only because you are there. Interfering where you're not wanted or required. You seem to have some ability to comfort his Wolf when its front and center - I don't like, or approve of this in any way, shape or form. If I have to keep his Wolf quiet for now? I will. I've done it before and I'll do it again. He'll soon forget about you - as he's done in the past. 

You're services are no longer required. 

I've disposed of Jim Hopper, the biggest threat of all to Steven. I've also enclosed the information regarding that threat - due to the fact that you, and the rest of those idiots choose not to believe that Steven was in danger. He was, he always has been. Not from me either, I've never been a threat to him - all I've ever done is protect him. Whether my methods have been conventional or not, doesn't matter. You have no business in Steven's life, or mine. He is carrying our pup in his belly, that doesn't concern you either.

I am taking him someplace safe, where nobody (Including you) can find him. He's mine. He has always been mine, Steven will always be mine. You are just like all the others that have always tried to fix him, you don't want him to just be who he is. You rejected his gift to you for a reason, it disgusted you - it horrified you - you're not like Us. 

So just let him go. He doesn't belong with you.

He belongs with Me. He always has.

With Regards, 
Edward.

Kaj folded the letter back up and then he glanced briefly at the other papers - his jaw tight, he shoved them into the side bag on his motorcycle and sighed softly. The woman at the motel had been helpful, in that she'd actually told Kaj that Eddie had made mention of going deeper in to the mountains. Whether that was actually true though? The other disturbing thing, was that the woman had said Eddie had been alone - she didn't say he'd had anyone else with him. 

She'd been worried about the fact that he'd arrived with two younger men - but was leaving alone. Kaj said the two younger men were safe, up on the mountain - it seemed that she was a friend to the Black's - and she was by default at friend to him. She had shown him some phone records, and been extremely helpful - but it also made Kaj realize that it wasn't a good idea for him to be swanning off on this mission by himself like he had originally been going to do. 

Kaj went back to the Rez, and he went silently back into the house - Jonathan found him immediately, and Kaj pulled him into the room he and Steve had been sharing - showing him the letter. And then they both went through the other papers Eddie had sent with it. Robin and Vicky both joining them, and then eventually Ghost and Michael had too. Everyone had read the letter, and it was Michael who said angrily - "This is bullshit - the guy is a fucking wackjob, he gives me the creeps in a really bad way... we need to find out what's deeper up the mountain."

Lyrena said from the doorway, "Deeper up the mountain..." 

Kaj looked at her and she stepped into the room, a blanket draped around her shoulders - her hair was out, it went way down past her backside. She sat beside Kaj, her hands shaking as she took hold of one of his and looked at him. Her Wolf eyes burning bright - "A compound, he must have a friend up there - maybe it's where he had been staying previously to the motel? It may have been where he was going originally before you all ended up here. But.." She closed her eyes - her voice shaky, "The compound is dangerous, its the woman up there she may have been the one that Eddie was going to get to do the handfasting.. but her husband? He's what we call a K’ok-oā’tsmaah, he was banished from here... because he's a dark one - he's evil. I'm guessing that is where Eddie is taking Stevie."

Robin whispered, "...What are they going to do to him?"

"I don't know Baby girl, but... I don't think it's going to be anything good." Lyrena said softly, tears slid down her face - and Kaj growled out - "Nothing, he's.. nobody is going to do anything to him!"

Lyrena suddenly reached up, and cupped his face - "Hush, calm yourself Kaj.." She said softly - and he whispered back, "I c-can't.... I can't do nothing... I can't do nothing!" He started to cry, the dam breaking, and he couldn't stop it, he couldn't stop it from happening.

The tears were falling, and he was falling apart - Kaj was soon surrounded by everyone's arms, and their love.

He didn't know how to handle it. It just made him cry even harder. 

Because like Steve, Kaj had no other family - or he hadn't until they'd both wound up on the mountain. He'd only ever had Steve.

I have to get him back.

"We'll figure it out, we will get him back I promise." Lyrena said softly. "We have each other, we'll get him back."

Kaj didn't want to put anyone in danger. 

Lyrena said softly, "We will get him back Kaj." He looked at her and he said softly, "Steve didn't want any of you to be in danger.." She looked at him - and then she growled softly, "I don't give a fuck, we're going to get him back, and bring him home - back here, with you and all of us where he belongs. He... has your pup, my grandchild in his belly - I'm not leaving him alone with that monster."

Kaj kissed her temple, and she whispered - "Steve is in danger the longer he is alone with him. We have to get him back."

"We do, we do.." He whispered back, Vicky said softly - "You're not upset that... he's pregnant with Eddie's child?"

Lyrena said tearfully - "It isn't his, the pup is Steve's baby... and Stevie loves Kaj - it's Kaj's pup too." Kaj let out a soft exhale - and Lyrena looked at him, "Yes?" He said hoarsely, "Yes.. and I'll do anything, whatever I have too, to protect them both... to protect all of you if I have too." 

"You're not fucking going anywhere near that asshole by yourself." Michael growled out - and Jonathan said softly, "Exactly."

Lyrena murmured softly, "We have to prepare for a war - and not just a physical one, if he is taking him to the compound? and they have the aid of River Blackwater - It'll be a spiritual war, a magickal one - and that is going to be difficult, I need to speak with Grammy and some of the Elders.. Kaj, we may need to do some sacred rituals - you.. have the power of Father wolf in your blood."

Kaj nodded quietly, and she whispered - "You can still connect to Stevie that way too." He let his eyes close and he whispered, "I just... want him back Mama Rena, I... need him back."

He let out a shaky exhale, and she said softly - "And we will get him back, I promise you... but you can't do it alone.." She held his face in her hands and held it tightly - "Promise me Kaj, you're not going to go up there all by yourself, he'll kill you - or River will." 

Kaj said softly, "I promise Mama, I won't." He had the sense to know when he had to have help, and this was that time. She kissed his forehead and murmured softly, "Thank the Moon you're not a stubborn bastard." He let out a soft, hoarse laugh and she murmured - "Thank the Moon you came back." He looked at her and she said softly, "I'm not an idiot Kaj, I knew you'd go after him. Love makes you do stupid shit, but your heart tells you that it was a mistake... that you need your pack to help with this. You listened, and this... all of us... we are your pack, you listened.."

Kaj held everyone in close and he murmured, "Steve loves you all so damn much, and I love you too. I knew I had to come back. I've been alone most of my life, apart from him... he loves it here.. it just... made sense." Lyrena said softly, "Of course it did, because you both.. all of you belong here."

Chapter Text

Eddie sighed wearily, looking at River with distain - "You should have contacted me sooner - really?" The other man was eating an apple, and gave him a bored look - "Not my problem if you don't send the money, I can't buy the medicines and stuff you want to keep your little toy drugged up can I? I can't just go to the supply place without money." The other man smirked - "Besides you're the big fancy Doctor.. you can do it yourself, I'll keep an eye on your little ...toy." 

"You'll keep your hands off him.." Eddie said coldly, and River held his hands up - "Relax Dog Boy, I'm not going to touch him.. besides, I'm not stupid - you shouldn't be messing with that shit.." He eyed the back of Eddie's car, "You're fucked in the head Edward, you know that right? Who puts someone inside a coffin?" River muttered, "I know I'm not all there - but even I wouldn't do that.." He shook his head and Eddie snarled at him, "It's not your fucking business so shut your fucking face! And in case you forgot fuck face you're a goddamn Dog too." 

River Blackwater just stared at him - eyes black as soot, "You have a foul mouth, didn't realize that - its amusing." He said with a bored voice, "Besides it won't be me looking after him, not really I got too much other shit to be doing... I'll get the boys to keep an eye on him.. Vincent has a special way with people.." 

Eddie looked at Vincent, his nephew was a gangly creature - dark hair flopping into his face and eyes like a hawk. He had tattoos everywhere, and half his head was shaved. "Don't fucking call me that.." The other boy muttered darkly, glaring at River - who smirked and then yelled out, "Sammy!" Eddie's youngest nephew, came out of the house - he had a softer face, he looked at River, "Yeah Dad?"

River pulled him in and then growled at him, "Get that unloaded from Uncle Eddie's car - put it in the cabin out by the creek, and don't fucking open it..." Sammy just nodded, and then ducked his head as River wacked at him, "I'm not fucking playing with you - don't open the box Samuel." 

Sammy muttered, "Fuck sake fine I won't.." He looked at Eddie, "Hey Uncle Ed's." Eddie smirked, "Hey punk.." He pulled the younger man in and gave him a cuddle, and Vincent just scowled - and then went around to the other side of the car - opening the door, "Hurry up fuck-nuts.." He said to Sammy, who pouted a little and then he untangled himself from Eddie and they got the coffin out the backseat.

Eddie and River watching as they carried if off to the cabin. "...Don't worry you're dirty little secret is safe up here.. you fucking perverted fuck." River said to him with a dirty leer. "How many years have you been after him?" Eddie shoved River roughly, and then he muttered, "Shut the fuck up Riv, fuck sake." The older man laughed, "Have you ever told the truth about anything at all? You're a lying sack of Buffalo shit, ever told him the truth about anything?..."

"Shut up." Eddie muttered quietly, and then they both went inside. River hummed softly, and he kicked out a chair for him - Eddie sat down, and they both just looked at each other. "You've sure as fuck been patient, I'll give you that... but sixteen years of this bullshit? You're fucking devoted, I'll give you that much..." River rolled them both a joint - and Eddie raked his fingers through his hair, letting it out as he breathed out softly - River lit the joint, and he shook his head. 

"...Are you going to tell him that his Father killed your parents? That he raped your Mother? Or are you just going to keep sticking to the lie that you didn't know anything about his old man?" River asked him - passing the joint to Eddie. 

He took a drag on it, letting the smoke fill his lungs - and then he exhaled slowly, taking another drag - and then he passed it back. "I will tell him, eventually - but.. things have gotten complicated. Like they always get complicated.." He said softly, and from behind them - a soft, lilting voice said softly - "Little brother, you're bullshit is always complicated yes?" Eddie turned his head, looking at his sister - Mischa's eyes were their permanent electric blue - very much like Kaj's. 

"Mischa.." He murmured softly, Eddie gave her a soft - smile - and she chuckled darkly, moving closer to him - "Don't bother to get up mažasis broils." (Little brother) She had her hair out, it was streaked with white - and she curled her arms around him, planting kisses on his face. "You finally made it to the mountain, you ...could have come sooner, how did it become complicated?" She was playing with his hair, soothing him like she'd always done, even when they'd been children. 

They didn't share the same Father - Mischa's father, and Eddie's father - no. Mischa's father had been the closest thing Eddie had to a father, till Bobby Black had killed him. The story went further than that, deeper than that - much deeper. Eddie said softly, "You know what shit is like Mish.. it's always fucking complicated." His sister laughed, and she gripped his chin - "...You're the one that complicated them, aren't you hmmm? You should have just left it the fuck alone Edward, but you couldn't do that... took one look at your baby brother and you became fucking obsessed with him."

Eddie went quiet and he just stared down at his hands. 

Because yes, that was the biggest secret of all. Their mother, Evangeline - had been raped by Bobby Black - and got pregnant with him. She'd tried to throw herself down the stairs to get rid of him - she'd tried to insert a knitting needle up inside herself to get rid of him - nothing worked. He'd been born anyway. Bobby Black, had left his mother in the dirt - she'd stayed with Mischa's father, they'd been married and lived up here - at this very compound. Living a solitary, quiet existence - till his Mother, and Bobby Black almost ran off together. 

Then Bobby Black had met up with Elena Harrington - and she'd stolen his heart, and his mother and Bobby had stopped their affair. 

Eddie had been eleven years old when Steve had been born - his half brother. Bobby had brought him to meet him - once, only once. He'd been the tiniest - cutest little thing Eddie had ever seen. Like a little doll, down the mountain - the Blackwaters and the Blacks weren't allowed to mix anymore. Once River got banished, once Bobby Harrington took off with his wife and three year old son - Eddie didn't see Steve again for five years. 

Bobby hadn't remembered him. Eddie had been nineteen years old, he took after his mother - had her eyes, and her pale skin. It was Steve that was the dead ringer of their Father. 

Mischa said softly beside him, "I'm sorry Eddie, I shouldn't pick on you.. hmmm?"

He looked at his sister, and he said quietly - "I know what you think about me Mischa, I know what you've always thought about me.." She just looked at him, and then she cupped his face in both her hands - "Then you know that I love you regardless, and I don't fucking care if you love him - that has never changed, it's not going to change now - and you finally brought him home. He belongs up here. With you, it took you all this time, but he's here and so are you." She looked at River, "You making fun and poking jokes is not a fucking help Riv, stop it." Her husband just smirked, "I can't help it, besides I'm only fucking with him... Ed's knows he's my brother."

Eddie gave the older man a dark look and River just laughed softly, "Hey... I was disowned from my pack for you - fucking remember that. I sacrificed everything to build this place up so you'd have a place to come to, if that doesn't prove how much I care about you... I don't know what does." His voice was soft, and Eddie sighed heavily - "I know that Riv, I do... and I appreciate it. You collected the waifs and strays and this place became a sanctuary for the unwanted.." 

River shrugged, "The Blacks - hmm think they own the fucking mountain.. they don't - they only have part of it." He scowled and Mischa tutted softly, "My darling, you're a Black - with a bit of extra spice.. don't forget where you come from.." She stood up, and then curled her arms around him - and Eddie smiled one of his little smiles. River murmured softly, "You would think after all this time I would just let it go.. but it still hurts me, that they think I'm evil.... I'm not evil, I just..." He shrugged and Mischa said softly, "Stop worrying about what they did and said - Stevie will reuinite everyone.. he's the Goddess, you worry too much about stupid things that don't matter.." She kissed the top of his head, her eyes on Eddie.

"...I.. fucked up though." Eddie muttered softly, and he rubbed his hands over his face. 

"You could have not put him in a fucking coffin? That might have helped?" River barked at him - and Mischa said wearily, "Really Eddie? Really the fuck is wrong with you..." She sighed and then said softly, "I'm going to go and help the girls out - I'll be back later, make sure Vinny doesn't spend too much time alone with Steve... you know what he's like." She gave River a soft kiss, and then she looked at Eddie - "Get him the hell out of that thing... and look after him properly, or I'll gut you." 

Eddie muttered, "He tried to fucking leave me, I..."

"I don't fucking care!" She yelled at him - and River re-lit the joint, when she left the room - he said, "You're in trouble if you fuck with her.... don't fuck with her Eddie." He took a drag on the joint - and then passed it to him, and Eddie muttered - "I'm not scared of my sister.." River snorted softly, "Well maybe you fucking should be - she'll fucking turn on you, don't mess with her... everyone on the Rez is scared of me? It's her they should be fucking scared of.... and you? You brought the strongest source of raw power straight to her fucking doorstep... or did you forget that part?"

Eddie glared at his brother-in-law. "Fuck off.." He said darkly, River just laughed - "You and her are so much alike... but.. I'm curious to see what Stevie is like... is he like Elena, or is he like Bobby? You and Mischa are both like him... like Bobby, except... you are like your Mom too.." Eddie muttered - "Stop talking about her... about Evangeline, she was a stupid whore that killed herself - because he ran off an left her. She didn't give a fuck about me or Mischa." 

River hummed softly, "...Mischa was more a mother to you than her.. I know that - but still. Bobby really killed his wife and daughter an then himself... but left the pup all alone?" He asked and Eddie just nodded, "Yeah.. and I lost him, and spent fucking years trying to get him back."

The other man just watched Eddie quietly, then he said with a smirk - "You're so fucked up, he's your half brother - and you're obsessed with him, wouldn't it have just been easier if you'd found someone else?" 

Eddie took another drag on the joint - and then he handed it back to River. "...I don't want someone else. He was... is... all I want. He gave me his first kill - when he was eight years old, he..." River hummed softly again, and then he said softly - "...He was awake? That's.. yeah something else." Eddie just nodded, "...Yeah."

He got up and then muttered, "I know I do some really fucked up things, I don't know why - I just... I'm fucked up and I'm a monster... I can't stop myself." River snorted - "Well I know that, why are you telling me? It's not me that you have to fucking convince Eddie - you've broken him, you have to try and fix him... lets just hope for your sake - you haven't broken him to the point where he hates you - or you're never going to get what you want."

"Shut the fuck up Riv." Eddie growled back, then he stormed out of the house - and headed for the cabin where his nephews had taken the coffin. 

~***~

Steve was just staring at the boy - the boy who had huge big brown eyes - "W-who are you?" He rasped out, hanging back in the corner of the room - the boy said quietly - "Uhm.. my name is Samuel, but I just go by Sammy, I shouldn't have opened it - I'm probably gonna get in trouble, don't tell on me? Please? I.. don't wanna get in trouble with my Dad? I.. can help you?" 

Steve breathed out shakily, and he whispered - "Sammy? Sammy where am I? I don't.." The other boy jumped, startled as the door opened and Eddie growled out - "You were told not to open..." Steve whimpered, and then bolted - trying to make a break - trying to run, but Eddie just grabbed him - and Steve screamed, he screamed as loud as he could - Sammy's eyes went big, and Eddie yelled at him - "Shut the fucking door Sammy!" 

Sammy raced over to the door and he shut it, then locked it - and Steve was struggling - "Let me g-go you .. fucking asshole, let me go!" His body felt too heavy, like lead - and Eddie murmured, "Be quiet Steven.." Steve whimpered, and Sammy said - "Uncle Ed's the hell are you doing man.." 

"Shut up Sammy, fuck.. why'd you open it.." Eddie muttered darkly, and then he said - "Open the leather case, get that syringe.." 

"No! Stop it... Eddie, stop... please, I don't want that.." Steve whispered tearfully, "Please... don't.." 

Eddie felt Steve go lax in his arms, and he held him tighter - "You're not going to try and run?" He asked softly against Steve's ear, and Steve whispered - "No.. I.. won't." Eddie stroked his fingers through Steve's hair and then he said softly, "Sammy, will you go and get the rest of my stuff out of the car please?" The younger man nodded, "Sure thing Ed's.." He left the room and Eddie hauled Steve over his shoulder like he weighed nothing at all and carried him into the bathroom.

"Stop it!" Steve sobbed out, his voice raspy - "Let me go.." Eddie just ignored him, and then started running a bath. He stripped Steve off, and then he sat him in the tub. "Hush... hmm you're all dirty, and I.. need to take care of you. I'm sorry about.. the .. I had to hide you. I'm sorry.."

"You're a bastard... putting me in a fucking coffin you.. fucking bastard.." Steve hissed at him - and stared at Eddie with a look of both fear and disgust. "You... you make me s-sick." He whispered, and then curled his arms around his legs, turning his head away and staring at the wall. Eddie murmured softly, "It was just so I could get you here without anyone seeing you. That's all Stevie.."

"Don't fucking call me that you piece of shit." Steve spat back, "I hate you." He added on softly, and Eddie just knelt beside the tub - his voice soft as he murmured, "No... no you don't.." He grabbed the sponge and got it wet, and then squeezed the water out against Steve's back - the younger man just rest his head against his legs and went quiet.

Eddie said nothing as he set about washing him, Steve slapped his hands away - "I can do it myself.. get away from me.." He wouldn't look at him and Eddie leaned in closer, and murmured softly - "I love you, even though you're angry with me right now.. I know you love me too, I...just want you safe - I swear to you Stevie, all I've ever wanted is to protect you.. to keep you safe because I love you. I... I know I'm bad, and I'm a monster, but... I've always loved you, I swear it.."

"Get the hell away from me Eddie.." Steve's voice broke - and he finally looked at him - tears streaming down his face, "You're sick - you're sick in the h-head and you're no good for m-me... I don't want you to touch m-me... I don't want you to talk to m-me... I don't want your fucking monster inside me either.." 

Eddie whispered, "Don't say that.."

"It's true.. I don't fucking want it... I DON'T WANT IT!" Steve screamed and then he slapped Eddie hard across the face - using his claws too - and it hurt like a mother-fucker. Eddie breathed out harshly, and Steve screamed, "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" 

He whimpered, sobbing brokenly - and breathing harshly - Eddie saw the guilt, he felt bad for lashing out - for hurting him, Steve flinched as Eddie said softly, "I can't.. you know that I can't.." He breathed out, his eyes going red - and he let his face heal, "You.. can scream, you can hurt me.... I don't care Steven, We are here now... and.. it doesn't matter anymore. We are home now.." Eddie went into the other room, and Sammy said quietly, "You alright Ed's?" 

"Yes Sammy, I'm fine - can you ask Vinny to come and talk with me when he's not busy?" Eddie asked quietly, the younger boy bit his lip - and then he said - "I can keep an eye on him for you? Vinny... he's a dickhead... you don't want.. him ...doing it Uncle Ed's.." 

Eddie just looked at Sammy, and then he sighed, "Just do as your told." He muttered, and Sammy shrugged, "Well... okay, but don't say I didn't warn you... it's your problem when he doesn't do what you want.." 

~***~

Steve was clean and dry, and wearing sweatpants and a Henley, Eddie had left him locked up wherever the hell he was - out the window he could just see trees. A shit tonne of trees and not much else. He was still cold, too cold - and he couldn't stop shaking. He'd pulled a blanket around himself, and was just sitting staring out the window - he didn't move, when the door opened and a gangly guy walked in - a scowl on his face, "I brought you some food, I'm supposed to sit here and make sure you eat it.." The guy sat down after putting the tray beside him. 

"If you don't eat it I don't really give a fuck - this is bullshit, fucking babysitting you like what the fuck..." He pulled a smoke out - and lit it - muttering under his breath, and Steve said quietly - "Can I have one?" The guy just looked at him, then he sighed - but he handed the one he'd already lit to Steve and Steve took it. "Thanks.." He said softly, taking a drag. 

"...So.. are you really the fucking savior of all Wolves?" The guy asked him, snorting softly - "You look like a fucking doe eyed Bambi assed deer - not a fucking badass wolf, the fuck.." He let out a soft snicker, and Steve just looked at him, "....Savior?" Steve asked quietly, "Who the hell told you that?"

"My Mom?" The guy said - rolling his eyes, "She's fucking crazy though.. so .. I don't really believe her.." He narrowed his eyes, and then he edged closer - "...You know you're my Uncle right? My half uncle or whatever the fuck you are.. but.. you don't seem like your dangerous, you just seem fucking scared and broken... you're fucking broken... ain't you." Steve took a drag on his smoke, and then he said quietly, "I'm not your Uncle? I don't even know you... I don't know you're Mother either.. are you a Black too?"

The guy smirked, and then he said - "Well... yeah? Half a Black - my Dad is, he's a Blackwater - his Dad was a Black, his Mother was a Darkwater - River Blackwater, he's a disgrace to the Blacks though - but... your old man? Bobby? He raped my Mom's mom - and knocked her up with my Uncle... your brother - so.. you know... your fucking family." Steve just stared at him from behind his hair - and then he said softly, "Who...is your Uncle?"

The guy said bored, "Eddie - Eddie is my Uncle, his sister Mischa is my Mom - she's married to my Dad River, the Blackwater... they're all fucking chummy and related.. I'm your half nephew, so is Sammy my dipshit little brother, you already met him huh... he let you out the box.. fucking psycho bastard, who would put someone in a fucking coffin? The guys a wackjob.." Steve just stared at him - and he said, "Eddie's not my brother."

"Uh.. yeah he is.. your half brother." The guy raised an eyebrow, "I'm Vinny... by the way - my Mom says that you're the Goddess Shar incarnated in a human body - that's some pretty fucking wacky bullshit... you just look like a lost little Doe. Want me to help you bust outta here Steve? Cos I will - I've been trying to get the fuck out of here, you know? I've got money saved and shit... but I can't drive a car... you can drive right?" Steve breathed out sharply, staring down at his hands.

The fuck is this kid talking about - it... can't be true.

"..You'd...help me get out of here?" Steve said quietly. Vinny raked his fingers through his hair - then scratched the shaved side. 

"Sure, because knowing my mom - and my Dad, shit... even fucking Eddie - they have some crazy bullshit planned. They might even try and sacrifice you or some shit... I don't wanna be a part of that you know? I'm not evil, or fucking twisted. I don't know if that's what they're going to do - but.. they think you're like some Savior or whatever so... fuck if I know." Vinny said as he shifted and then sat beside Steve.

"Don't eat the soup, I think she put sleeping drugs in it.." He muttered softly, and then he handed Steve the bread - "Eat this... its okay cos I made it myself."

Steve ate the bread, breaking it up into small pieces. "...Are you telling the truth? About.." He murmured.

Vinny nodded, "Yeah man, I haven't got any reason to fucking tell you bullshit - you're family, ...pack. Maybe they're not going to sacrifice you but Eddie? He's a fucking nut job. My Mom's not much better to be honest with you.." Steve looked at Vinny, "Your...Mom is Mischa.. he told me she was dead."

"Yeah, ...well she's not dead, she's very much alive - and she's a shaman, and a powerful one - my Dad's even more powerful than she is. Don't stay here any longer than you have too. We can try and make a break for it.. but we have to be careful?" He said as he gave Steve another piece of the bread. "I'll tell her you don't like beef broth.. hmm.. say you're not into beef, or some shit.. lots of the Blacks eat vegetarian." Vinny started laughing, and Steve just stared at him.

"What... c'mon man its fucking hilarious.. Wolves that don't eat meat? C'mon now.. even you know that's funny man." Vinny smiled at him, and Steve muttered softly - "My mama Lyrena fed us Tofu loaf.." They both laughed, and Vinny smirked - "Was it good? Did you eat that shit?" Steve nodded yes, and Vinny rolled his eyes - "That's just bullshit man.. it ain't right." Steve let out a soft laugh, and Vinny smirked - "I'll find you a rabbit or something though if you want meat, or.. I can I dunno - just don't eat her damn soup. She puts stuff in it so you'll sleep."

The door opened, and Eddie came into the room - Vinny murmured, "Fucking creep.." Steve bit his lip softly, and Eddie said - "You're not eating the soup?"

Steve stayed silent, and Vinny said loudly - "It tastes like ass, you fucking eat it Ed's - put yourself to fucking sleep you goddamn creep." Steve bit back the laugh that wanted to escape and Eddie growled out - "Get out of here Vincent.." 

Vinny gently rubbed Steve's shoulder, "I'll see you later yeah?" Steve nodded - and Vincent left the fruit, but he picked up the bowl of soup - and then tipped it out the window, just staring at Eddie - "Fuck you." He said, and Eddie just gave him a dark look - Vinny smirked, "See you later Stevie." He bit at the air next to Eddie's face, and muttered - "Uncle Creeper." Then he left - and Steve ate the last little bite of the bread.

"...I need to talk to you." Eddie murmured, as he sat down on the other side of the bed. 

"I don't want to talk to you, so... go away." Steve said back - staring out the window instead. 

Eddie shifted, and then he curled his arms around Steve and pulled him into his body. Steve let his eyes close - his body tense, but Eddie was so warm - all pressed up behind him, curled all around him. he closed his eyes tightly and Eddie said softly, "I don't care, you don't have to talk to me... but I have... things I need to tell you and I.. have needed to tell you for a long time."

Steve curled his fingers against his stomach, and he whispered - "What.. that you're my half brother? That? Is that what you need to tell me Eddie."

Eddie let out a heavy exhale, and he held Steve tighter - pressed himself in closer. Steve felt his breath against his skin - and Steve murmured softly, "So is it true?"

"Yes.." Eddie murmured it against his ear, and Steve whispered - "You're...disgusting."

They were both silent, not saying anything. The silence curled in around them both - and Steve let out a shaky exhale, as Eddie murmured against his ear - "When I ...came to the house on Violin road, I.. knew who he was, what he'd been doing.. I.. didn't come for him." Steve bit his lip, and Eddie whispered - "I came for you."

Steve whispered, "Please Eddie... please stop this.. you have to stop. We... we have to s-stop."

Eddie pushed Steve's hair away from his neck - off his shoulder, and then he brushed his lips against his skin. "I ...can't." He whispered it, and Steve whimpered softly - "You have too. I... don't want you anymore, I don't.. trust you, you've hurt me too much. You've lied about too much, broken me... we shouldn't be together.. you're my b-brother."

"I don't care.." Eddie whispered it against Steve's ear and Steve shifted, moving - or trying to move away from him. But Eddie pulled him in close again and whispered, "Don't.. please Stevie, don't.." 

Steve breathed out in a rush of breath, tears welling up in his eyes - his hair falling into his face, Eddie was breathing heavily - moving his hair, and then the older man murmured softly - "It doesn't matter, why does it matter." Steve said shakily, "You.. know why its wrong. That's why you never t-told me." 

Eddie growled softly as he suddenly gripped his chin and made Steve look at him, "I was going to tell you, I just..." He went quiet - the two of them staring at each other, tears slid silently down Steve's face and he whispered - "You're a liar, you weren't going to tell me - you never told me Eddie. You could have told me long before now.. but you liked keeping it a secret." Eddie shook his head no, and he murmured - "No... it, I....no Sweetheart I wanted to tell you. I was going too when I brought you here, I was always going to bring you here because... here I can help you. We can help you." 

Steve whispered, "I'd rather die than have you help me."

Eddie flinched, and he said softly - "Don't...say that."

"Why? It's true... I don't want your fucking help." Steve whispered it, but he gripped Eddie's throat tightly - digging his claws in. "I'd rather fucking die!" He growled it and then hit Eddie hard as he could - losing his temper, he was hitting Eddie repeatedly - sobbing as he screamed out, "You're a fucking sick sadistic fuck! I Hate you! I fucking hate you! You've fucked me up! Worse than anyone else you fucking bastard Eddie! You bastard!" He sobbed brokenly - and Eddie breathed out harshly, but then got hold of his hands and pinned Steve down against the bed.

They were both breathing harshly, and Steve whimpered - turning his head away. "You...make me sick." He whispered - "You...are disgusting. Don't fucking touch me anymore. You fucking rapist, piece of shit."

Eddie breathed out softly against his neck, and he whispered against his ear - "You love me Stevie, as much as I love you. I know you do." 

Steve just stayed silent, and then he said softly - "No... I don't love you, I love Kaj. I love Kaj and I want to be with him. You're sick and you're disgusting Eddie. You're a monster. I don't want to be a monster like y-you." 

Eddie whispered, "I don't believe you. You're the same as me, you've always been the same as me... He isn't the same as you Stevie.. you're the darkness, you're chaos... you're so beautiful and you're made of Shadow... of darkness. You're just afraid..."

Steve whispered, "I love Kaj." He let out a shaky exhale, and Eddie murmured softly - "Do you? Or do you just love...that he's good and you think he can make you like him. He's your brother.. been like your brother... and yet you love him? You ..want him?" He whispered against Steve's mouth, "But.. I am your brother, I've been inside you - so deep inside you forever, for always... I'm written into your bones, into your soul... you love me more than you love anyone. You always have."

"Shut the fuck up." Steve growled back, and Eddie murmured - "..You like it."

Steve breathed out heavier, against Eddie's mouth - and he looked at Eddie from under his lashes. "No." He whispered back.

Eddie stroked his fingers down Steve's arms - and he brushed his fingers over Steve's face, pushing his hair out of the way. "Yes..." He murmured softly, "You don't love him like you love me... you've loved me since you were a little boy." 

"You're so sick." Steve whispered shakily, his face was flushed - the blush deepening, and he whispered - "You're sick and you've made me sick too. Like a disease, infecting me.. fuck you." His voice was raspy and his drawl getting more obvious. Eddie murmured, "...Who cares." Steve bit his lip, and Eddie smirked - Steve let his eyes close, and Eddie said softly - "...I don't know why you're pretending that you don't feel this way... hmmm? Sweet boy, my Darling." He kissed against Steve's jaw, and then nipped softly.

"Stop it sick bastard.." Steve whispered, and Eddie just let out a dark little chuckle - "Are you going to hit me some more? Slash me up with your claws... hmm? You want too? Go ahead, fight me.." He murmured, "I.. won't stop you."

"Stop it.. get away from me.." Steve whispered, and Eddie murmured - "...Why...you don't want me too. You've missed me, haven't you my sweet boy." He stroked his fingers against Steve's stomach, and Steve arched, "N-no...I haven't, you make me feel sick to the stomach, goddamn it.... stop it Eddie!" He whimpered again, and then stammered out - "S-stop t-touching m-me.."

Eddie just let out a soft laugh, and then he leaned down, and pushed Steve's top up, kissing his stomach softly and then licking with his tongue - and Steve curled his fingers tight in Eddie's hair - drawling out softly, "Y-you're dirty and bad.. s-stop it.." 

Steve whimpered again as Eddie suddenly growled against his mouth, "Kiss me.." 

"Nuh-uh don't...want too.." Steve whispered, his breath catching in his throat - as Eddie murmured - "You're a little liar, and not a good one... hmm.." He smirked again and Steve whispered - "I fucking hate you, goddamn sick... sonofabitch.." Eddie just whispered, "Liar..."

They kissed deep and slow, and Eddie pulled Steve up into his body - pulling Steve into his lap as he curled his fingers into Steve's hair and held him closer. Steve whimpered in his throat - as Eddie kissed him possessively, his tongue chasing Eddie's - and then the older man said huskily, "Don't...fucking lie to me sweetheart, you want me.. can't help yourself." He whispered, "I love you my sweet Boy." Steve buried his face in against Eddie's neck, and he whispered - "I hate you."

Eddie just let out a soft, rumbling little growl - and Steve bit against his throat, hard - making Eddie let out a soft hiss. He curled his fingers against Steve's back, digging his fingers in - and Steve whispered against Eddie's ear, "I don't... love you, I don't want you... and I don't want your demon spawn in my belly." He smacked Eddie in the face and then he ran for the door - getting it open, and Steve breathed out harshly, wild - eyed - he ran for the woods, he tugged off his clothes - and then sprang into his fur, paws on the ground - Steve sped off. Racing as fast as he could through unfamiliar territory. 

He sped through the trees, darting through the dense bush and undergrowth - his heart pounding - all the smells, and things around him were overwhelming and stimulating - but he didn't stop running. And behind him? Behind him he could hear the pounding of Eddie's paws as he chased him - Steve ran faster, and Eddie ran faster too. Steve felt like howling - but he didn't - he just ran, and Eddie kept chasing. He could smell his scent, rich and deep and it was oh so delicious - but Steve tried to push that aside. 

Run, run as fast as you can - and keep running. 

Chapter Text

The woods got real dark, and really deep - so deep that there was hardly any light coming through from up above - Steve slipped quietly through the undergrowth, moving still like a shadow. Moving on his tip-toes light as a feather. Eddie skidded to a halt right in front of him, big and looming - hulking in his fur and he whined softly, huffing his nose in the dirt and Steve stayed quiet. The wind was blowing in the opposite direction - which meant his scent wasn't being carried in Eddie's direction anymore. Steve had spent more time in his fur than even Eddie had, he instinctively knew that. Because Eddie hadn't - he'd spent his time prancing about and having Dinner parties and being a social climber. 

While Steve spent his time mostly fucking Feral and broken and lost. He was more acquainted with his Wolf than Eddie would ever be. Steve tip-toed silently past him, and Eddie was still huffing in the dirt - it was almost laughable really, Steve leapt out and then sprinted off - and Eddie growled in his throat, and maybe - okay so maybe Steve was deliberately provoking him at that point. But he deserved it. Steve was fast, he was so fast - and his tiny size, his lithe frame meant he was built for speed. He moved lightning fast - and Eddie was fast too, but not as fast as him - Steve darted through the trees, and he was so excited to be running in the woods. 

Addicted to it really - blood coursing through his veins, adrenaline pumping - the smells and the scent - okay so maybe he was still too Feral to really be doing this. 

I don't care - I don't caaaaaaaaare. Steve let out a howl, a sweet mournful one - howling for everyone, and anyone to hear him - he didn't care. It was the sweetest howl he'd ever howled - and he howled for all he was worth,  he dived down the side of a ravine and crashed into the riverbed and tip-toed through the water, water was good for masking your scent. It clung to his fur and Steve chased some fish, pouncing on it and playing - wagging his tail, and letting out soft little yips. His golden eyes burning brightly and then he let out a snarl, because Eddie had found him. 

Eddie huffed softly and then growled at him, and Steve charged straight through the water - and Eddie came crashing down into the riverbed too. 

Steven, stop this nonsense - What are you doing? Where do you think that you're going! Eddie was talking to him, but Steve wasn't listening - Oh no he most definitely wasn't. 

Instead he leapt up the side of the bank and back into the trees - tip-toeing again and then he sank down on his belly, and crept slowly through the undergrowth - Eddie was behind him somewhere, huffing and panting like a fat old loser. Steve snorted softly, and wiped at his muzzle with his paw - he had no time for that. He caught the scent of something good, something tasty - and he was going to catch it! Steve crept further into the undergrowth - and Eddie came up behind him, but Steve leapt forward and then his jaws snapped into the neck of the spritely young Buck. 

He didn't let go, and the Buck was making a hideous racket - squawking and struggling - but Steve kept his jaws locked tight, and then Eddie was helping him. It came down a lot faster, because Eddie was a lot bigger - and stronger. Steve wagged his tail happily - and together they brought it down, Eddie snapped his neck easily - and Steve licked at the bite, it was a bit tragic really - but he let out a happy little whine - and Eddie was huffing at him again, but he wagged his tail too - and then he nuzzled his wet nose against Steve's muzzle.

Steve just made a soft noise and then tore into the Buck's belly - ripping it open and gobbling up the wet bloody meat greedily. He yanked the guts and gunk out - and Eddie was just sitting there watching him - red eyes glowing, and Steve stopped - whining softly and then he rubbed himself against Eddie, and stomped his paw - tearing back into the Buck again - yanking the heart out, he dumped it at Eddie's feet and then tore back into the juicy wet flesh. Eddie made a soft little rumbling noise in his throat - and he rubbed up against his side, biting at his neck - and he pushed the heart back to Steve.

You should eat it Sweet Boy, you need it more than I do. His voice was soft inside Steve's head, and Steve just stared at Eddie - and then he gobbled the heart up and wagged his tail - leaving some of it for Eddie, because he wasn't greedy - it wasn't nice not to share it, especially with your Mate. That's when reality hit back in full force - and Steve was hit with what he was doing - and who he was with and he pawed at himself - whining softly. 

Eddie was most amused beside him as he shifted back into his skin. "Oh Stevie.." He curled his fingers into Steve's inky black fur and he held the heart in his hands - "Here... eat it Sweet boy.." He held it out and Steve just stared at him - Golden eyes burning bright. He shifted back into his skin and muttered softly, "Fuck you - this isn't fucking funny." He slapped at Eddie's hands and then stared at the dead Buck. "You...ran away, lead me on a wild chase through the woods - killed this Buck, laid your kill at my feet and then shared it with me - but you don't love me.." Eddie murmured softly. 

Steve said softly, "...I'm so glad you think this is fucking amusing Eddie." He curled his legs up, and Eddie just said softly - amusement in his voice, "I can't help it... you fight me at every turn, and... then you don't when you just let go."

"Fuck you." Steve glared at him, "I fucking hate you." He said quietly.

"You might, but your Wolf doesn't my Darling." Eddie said softly, amused - and he let out a soft laugh. 

Steve smacked Eddie hard, tears in his eyes - "It's not fucking funny Edward!" He said angrily, "It isn't fucking funny all this shit you've been doing to me! I.. h-hate y-you. I hate you Eddie!" He breathed out harshly, and Eddie moved in closer still holding the rest of the heart. "Stevie.." He murmured softly - "Eat the heart, it's good for the pup."

"Fuck you, and fuck this demon spawn." Steve spat out - "Makes me sick, you make me sick..." He sobbed and smacked Eddie's hands away - "You're a sick pervert. You... you've been sick this entire time. Coming after me since I was a little boy! Praying on me and.. m-making me sick like you." He whimpered softly. 

Eddie murmured - "Did I make you kill that deer when you were a little boy? Did I make you give me that first kill Steven? Did I make you do that?"

Tears slid down Steve's face and he bit at his fingers. 

"Did I make you come into my trailer at night and crawl into my bed with me?" Eddie murmured softly, he slowly moved closer and Steve let out a shaky exhale - tears blurring his vision. He bit down harder on his fingers, and Eddie was right there - so close to him, he gently pulled Steve's hand away from his mouth - and he said softly, "Did I make you touch me first?"

Steve looked up at Eddie from under his lashes, tears in them - and Steve shook his head no. 

"No.. that's right, I didn't, did I... hmm? Because what did I do.. at first? Tell me sweet Boy.." Eddie murmured - and he held the heart to his mouth. Steve took a bite and ate it, letting out a shaky little breath - and then he pushed Eddie's hands up to his mouth so he'd finish off the rest. 

Steve shook his head no, he didn't want to say and Eddie said softly - "Tell me, hmm.. come on Steven.. tell me.."

Steve whimpered softly - "You...told me no. That.. we c-couldn't do t-that.."

"Mhmm.. I did, but you know the real truth... don't you.." Eddie said softly, and Steve nodded yes. 

"What is it... tell me.." Eddie said softly, like they were sharing another secret.

Steve let out a shaky, stuttered breath - and he said in a soft little voice - "Y-you wanted too, you wanted to touch me... you always wanted to touch me."

Eddie murmured, "Of course I did... I always wanted too, hmm.. and you didn't like it when I said no, and do you remember what you would do?"

Steve nodded yes, and he let out a shaky - stuttered breath as Eddie gripped his throat and pulled him in closer, "Tell me, my naughty little brother.." He whispered it against Steve's mouth.

"I.. would rub myself up against you, and make you get hard...so you would lose c-control, s-so you would cum on m-me.." Steve whispered back. 

Eddie whispered, "And...who prayed on who?" He smirked, watching Steve's face - breathing out against it "You liked it, and you're lying - pretending that you didn't."

Steve shivered, panting softly - he stared at Eddie from under his lashes.

Eddie murmured, "No matter what you tell yourself. You wanted me... as much as I wanted you. You always did.. you always have.. and.." Eddie licked at his mouth, "You always will.."

Steve whimpered, and Eddie growled softly - "You've never been able to say no to me."

"No... no it isn't t-true.." Steve whispered, and he gasped out shakily as Eddie licked at his mouth again - "No?" He murmured.

Steve whimpered - "No... y-your a l-liar.." He was panting softly, and Eddie murmured - "Okay then I guess I'm.. wrong."

"You...you choked me, in.. my bed.. you c-choked me and... I remembered.." Tears spilled down Steve's face, and Eddie murmured - "Did you?"

Steve nodded, and he whispered shakily - "Have.. you.. did you f-fuck me before, and I.. d-didn't remember?"

Eddie murmured softly, "No Baby.. no I didn't - we didn't do that.. we did a lot of other things, but not that.." He breathed out against Steve's face - and Steve whimpered tearfully, "Y-you...not lying to m-me?"

"No... my sweet boy, I'm not lying to you." Eddie suddenly lifted Steve into his lap, and Steve whimpered softly - "No..." Eddie curled his arms around Steve and he whispered, "Let me hold you.. " 

Steve was trembling, but he stared at Eddie from under his lashes - they were wet with tears and Eddie said softly, "You're so Beautiful, ridiculous.. look at you." He gently gripped Steve's chin, and then gave him a soft, sweet kiss - Steve's bottom lip was trembling, and he whispered - "You're bad for m-me.." Eddie murmured softly, "Because everyone else tells you that?" Steve let out a shaky exhale, and Eddie whispered, "Do you think I'm bad for you?"

Steve nodded yes, but he was staring down at Eddie's mouth - "Look at me Steven." Eddie said softly, and Steve shook his head no. 

"Want sweet kisses?" Eddie whispered it against Steve's mouth, and then he whispered - "Want a sweet, soft kiss?" 

Steve let out a shaky, stuttered breath - and Eddie licked into his mouth - kissing him deep and slow, and making Steve whimper into his mouth. 

You're still mine. Steve heard Eddie's voice, like velvet inside his head and he moaned softly, sweet in his throat - Stop it Eddie. He whispered it back - but Steve slid his fingers into Eddie's hair, and Eddie murmured against his mouth, "Tell me a secret sweet Baby.."

Steve looked at Eddie from under his lashes again, this was something they used to do a long time ago. He let out a soft, stuttered breath - and Eddie whispered, "Tell me a secret.. that you can't tell anyone else, only.. me.."

"I'm just like y-you.." Steve whispered shakily. 

Eddie let out a soft, dark little chuckle - and then he murmured, "That isn't a secret Baby boy - Tell me.. a secret.." 

Steve shook his head no, and Eddie murmured, "Should I tell you a secret?" Steve nodded yes, and he tilted his head a little as Eddie curled his fingers against his throat - and leaned in closer, breathing out another shaky stuttered breath, his tongue licking at Eddie's mouth - because he couldn't help himself, because he wanted a taste - Just a little one, please... His soft little plea like a whisper inside Eddie's head. 

Eddie let out a soft little rumbling growl in his throat, and he kissed Steve deeply - his tongue claiming Steve's mouth possessively, and Steve pressed in closer - aching for more, and Eddie pushed him down in to the soft ground, staring down at him. Steve was trembling, his entire body - shaking and Eddie's hair fell down as he whispered against Steve's mouth, "I knew you were my little brother, I knew who he was...and I didn't care. I still wanted to steal you away.. but then when I found you that day in the woods I definitely did. I wanted to make you mine then.. but I knew I couldn't. You made me insane - you... made my Wolf howl for you... wanted to kill for you, keep you safe - claim you. I.. had to fight every instinct in me not to do that because I could have killed you."

Steve let out a shaky exhale, tears sliding down his face - and Eddie murmured, "And you kept pushing, and pushing... and you were always fucking there driving me closer and closer to the edge.. rubbing yourself up against me, and touching me... and looking at me with those eyes of yours, and I didn't know how fucking broken he was - I thought I had time, I thought I had time and I didn't..." Eddie breathed out shakily against Steve's face - tears welling up in his eyes. 

"He... just took you away... they were always fucking taking you away from me!" Eddie was breathing harshly, digging his fingers into the dirt either side of Steve's head - "First it was Bobby, then it was Jim - it was always... someone.. someone I had to fight to get you b-back... now its him.." Eddie's tears fell and landed on Steve, "My secret is that I'm insane - I'm broken, I'm feral ... I'm fucking ruined because I can't exist without you... I... need you.. I've always needed you.." Eddie whispered - "I.. feel like the best part of me was ripped from me... so I don't know what to do without you. I can't stop the fucked up things that I do Stevie... I can't stop, I don't know how... so if you really don't love me... then I'll just take myself out of the equation. Tell me now and I'll let you go back to h-him." Eddie shifted away from Steve - and he whispered, "That's my secret."

Steve just breathed out shakily, and Eddie murmured - "It... isn't really a secret. I just..." He stared down at his hands and his hair hid his face. "You don't even want my pup. So.. I.. d-don't know what to say or d-do anymore. I... d-don't know what to do."

Steve bit down on his fingers, Eddie's scent was all wrong - full of distress and sadness and pain and fear. He didn't like it - Steve hated it. Tears blurred his vision and he didn't know what to do either - he both loved, and was terrified of Eddie, all at the same time - and he didn't know what to do not anymore. Steve closed his eyes, his tears slid down his face - he felt sick in the stomach. 

Eddie let out a strange noise in his throat, and then he curled in on himself. Steve let out a shaky breath, and Eddie whispered tearfully - "Tell me that you don't love me.. that you... love... Him. Say it again.." His eyes were so full of pain, and Steve let out a shaky - stuttered breath. "You don't want my pup.." Eddie muttered kind of to himself, "You...don't love me - I.. m-maybe you never loved m-me.. I'm so f-fucking.. W-what have I done..." Eddie shook his head, and whispered shakily, "...I should have turned the gun on myself."

Steve whimpered at that, he didn't want to hear that. That terrified him - he didn't want to hear that.

"...Stop.." Steve said shakily, Eddie breathed out harshly - he wasn't looking at Steve anymore.

"..Don't s-say that Eddie." Steve let out a shaky sob, "D-don't you ever say t-that to me.." He whimpered, and then hit at Eddie - kind of pathetically - "Don't s-say t-that!" He was crying, a harsh broken sob escaping - "D-don't s-say t-that!" Eddie let Steve hit him, not doing anything to stop him - and Steve sobbed out, "Y-you wanted to h-hurt m-me n-now you w-wanna d-die? L-leave m-me?" Eddie whispered brokenly, "You d-don't l-love m-me.."

Steve hit Eddie weakly, and sobbed out harshly - "H-hate y-you f-fuck.. f-fucking h-hate you..." They both clung to each other, Eddie pulling Steve into his lap and Steve whimpered tearfully - pressing himself in as close as he could and still hitting at him pathetically - no real viciousness behind it at all, he whimpered and Eddie breathed out harshly - but he pinned Steve down into the dirt, and then - then they were kissing.  Needy and desperate, and Steve cried as he whimpered into Eddie's mouth, "Fucking.. h-hate you so m-much making m-me crazy...l-love you... I need you, I can't... fucking breathe without you.." 

Eddie whispered tearfully, "I can't...w-without you... Stevie..." Steve pulled Eddie closer, and he whispered shakily - "Eddie... Eddie...." 

They were too needy,  too desperate - clearly obsessed - they couldn't stop - clinging and begging each other.

Eddie breathed in Steve's scent - and Steve whimpered tearfully - "Eddie... please... please! Don't leave me.. d-don't fucking say that! Don't say that!" He was crying, harsh broken sobs - "Don't leave me... don't say that.. don't say you're going to die... please... Eddie..." 

Eddie was whispering back, "I'm s-sorry, Stevie - my sweet boy, my Baby... I.. d-didn't mean it... Stevie, I d-didn't mean it I love y-you ... I love you.." They were both hard, and aroused - and desperate for each other. Their breathing was harsh and then Eddie tugged Steve's legs up around his waist - pushing his cock into Steve's slick wet pussy, they both let out a needy, desperate moan - and Steve gasped out against Eddie's mouth, Eddie let out a soft growl - and Steve whimpered softly, "Please..."

"Stevie.." Eddie's voice just wrecked - Steve let out a soft, sweet little "Dee.." He hadn't called him that since he was a little boy. Eddie growled deep, and rumbling in his chest and Steve let out a sharp breathless grunt as Eddie interlaced their fingers and pinned Steve's arms above his head, he eased out slowly - and then slammed his hips and fucked into Steve's body hard and deep. They moved together, desperately - grunting into each others mouths, breathing heavy - Eddie making Steve grunt out in soft, dirty little breaths - Steve arching into Eddie's thrusts and clenching his pussy around his cock - all while they stared at each other, never breaking their eye contact. 

Eddie growled against Steve's mouth, and Steve whimpered - gasping out shakily, "Dee.." In between those dirty little breathless grunts - Eddie's voice was wrecked as he said, "Stevie...love you.." Steve's eyes rolled back into his head, and Eddie growled against his ear, "Mine.. mine.. you mine?" Steve said breathlessly, "Yours...always... don't leave ..me...don't... leave me... die.. die without you... don't ever leave me.... no.. no Dee... never... never.."

Eddie let go of Steve's hands, and he held onto him instead, and Steve curled his fingers against Eddie's back, his entire body shaking as he sobbed out - "Eddie...Dee.." He came between them, but his pussy gushed wetness around Eddie's cock - and Eddie let out a roar as his knot locked in, swelling inside Steve's pussy and pumping Steve full of cum. They were both shaking apart with it - and Eddie held Steve close, they were kissing again, Steve crying - Eddie rutting his knot up into Steve's body. 

They were stuck like that for hours, alone together deep in the darkness of the woods. Nothing else existed but them - nothing else mattered for either of them, but each other. When it was finally over, Eddie carried Steve in his arms back to the compound, Steve was sound asleep. Completely exhausted - he was too, but he still carried him back. Eddie had brought the deer back too - there was no point in wasting it. But he'd brought Steve back to the cabin - he ran a bath and climbed in - washing them both off, all the mud and muck from the woods - his cum leaking back out of Steve's body, there was so much of it.. it was kind of obscene. 

Once they were clean, Eddie dried Steve off - put him in a clean shirt, and some pajama pants - then he got dressed and he put Steve into bed, curling himself up around him and holding him in close. He wa almost too afraid to go to sleep, like he thought if he did - he'd wake up and it would all be not real. Steve pressed in closer, as close as he could get - his fingers curling into Eddie's hair, and his nose up against Eddie's throat. Eddie stroked his fingers slowly under the shirt against Steve's back - his eyes getting heavy, he nuzzled his face against Steve's soft, cool skin - listening to his heartbeat. Steve pressed in closer, like he was trying to climb inside him - like he couldn't bare to be apart from him. 

Eddie let out a shaky exhale, tears slid silently down his face - he was so afraid that... Steve would leave him again. His eyes got heavier, and Eddie couldn't fight it - he hadn't slept in days, not since he'd last been with Steve in Virginia... that seemed like such a long time ago now. 

Eddie felt Steve's soft, sweet lips brush against his skin and he let out a soft - sleepy little moan. Steve whimpered sleepily, "Dee.." Eddie felt Steve curl his fingers against his stomach - then he sucked softly against Eddie's collarbone, and just relaxed into him even more. Eddie curled his fingers gently against Steve's belly - and finally he succumbed to sleep.

Chapter Text

Steve woke up slowly, wrapped up in warmth, in the heady - musky richness of Eddie's scent and he let out a soft breath, and just let himself sink into it. He didn't listen to that nagging voice inside him that tried to tell him it was wrong, that it was something to be afraid of. Because he didn't want too. Steve just let himself sink into Eddie's scent, his warmth - and the comfort of it. He could feel Eddie everywhere, like he was completely surrounding him, burying him in his entire essence. He laid there still and quiet, his eyes closed - he felt weightless and couldn't really even remember how they got back to the cabin. Not really. 

He just remembered what they'd done in the woods, how he had felt - so overwhelming frightened that Eddie would leave him permanently. Take himself out of the equation. It completely and utterly terrified him. In a way that Steve didn't even want to think about, he didn't want to have to think about that. Didn't want to comprehend it in any way, it was something suffocating and unbearable - as he laid there, as those thoughts came into his head? Steve started to tremble, his eyes welled up with tears. 

Steve realized that Eddie was actually completely encircled around him, his chest pressed up flush against Steve's back, one of his legs draped over Steve's - his arm encircling him. Eddie's face pressed up against his neck, nuzzled into his hair - and Eddie was deep asleep. Breathing into his hair - that's where all the warmth was coming from. Eddie was completely surrounding him, and Steve wanted it more than anything. His tears slid silently down his face - he could taste them in his mouth, Steve breathed out shakily - Eddie had his fingers resting against his belly. 

He closed his eyes tighter, and Steve bit down hard against his bottom lip. To stop it from trembling, to stop any noise from escaping his mouth - he shifted, ever-so slowly and then he was facing Eddie instead. Steve breathed out shakily, and he tucked his head in under Eddie's head - curling in against his chest. He was still small enough to be able to do that, pressing in closer - Steve could rest his head there against him. He could listen to Eddie's heartbeat. His fingers gently traced over Eddie's skin - the older man didn't stir, he didn't make any sound like Steve thought he was going too. 

Steve lifted his head and he whispered against Eddie's throat, "I'll tell you my secret now Dee." He whispered it over Eddie's pulse, "I am scared, scared of everything - scared of you. Scared of myself... scared of.. this pup in my b-belly. I don't.. think I can do this. I.. can't do it Dee. I'm.. s-sorry." He kissed Eddie's jaw softly, and then he slipped out of the bed. Eddie looked so peaceful, Steve breathed out shakily - and he backed up slowly, exiting the cabin - he didn't really know where to go. Or where he was supposed to go?

"Steve!" A voice hissed at him from the side of the cabin, and he breathed out in a rush - Vincent said, "Whatchu doing?" Steve looked at him and Vinny waved him over - "Come hide out in my digs with me.." He pulled Steve inside the cabin - eyeing him, and then he raised an eyebrow - "Want some pants or somethin?" Steve nodded, and Vinny smirked - rummaging around in his drawer, and then he handed Steve a pair of jeans - and a Jersey. Steve pulled them on and he bit down on his fingers. The younger man said softly, "You're not okay are you.." 

Steve shook his head, and he rubbed his hands over his face - Vinny was more serious now, "...Do you wanna make a break for it? Nobody else is awake yet, I swiped my Dad's keys - I just was out feeding the chickens, and happened to see you - we can go now, if you want too Stevie.." He knew that now was the only chance he was likely to actually get - this was it. Steve said shakily, "Okay." Vinny nodded, "Alright - I have a bunch of shit packed, I have food and shit too - I don't think we should be heading down the mountain to the Rez - I know you want to go there, but... that's the first fucking place they'll go to look for you - you realize that right?"

He nodded, and Vinny nodded - "Alright, we just need to get out of here and drive - we'll figure it out once we're out of here." He handed Steve shoes and some socks, "Dunno if they're gonna fit you, but at this point - anything is better than nothing yeah?" Steve said softly, "Definitely - thanks Vinny." The other boy gently gripped his shoulder - "Let's just get out of here okay?" Steve sat down, pulling on the socks and then the shoes - surprisingly they actually fit. "Well.. lucky.." Vinny smiled, and he grabbed the bags - then he said softly, "The car is the black truck near the gate - I hope you can run fucking fast Stevie, cos we need to fucking move."

Steve nodded, and then they both exited the cabin. There was no sign of anyone around - and Vinny hissed, "Go.. fucking move Stevie." They both ran - Steve's heart was pounding in his chest, Vinny unlocked the truck, and they both got in - Vinny threw the bags in the back, "Lock the doors Stevie." He did, Steve's hands were shaking bad - and he could hardly get the key in the ignition - Vinny reached out, and held his other hand - "You're alright, start her up.." Steve took a deep breath, got the key in - and then he turned the engine on. 

They pulled out - and then they were off, driving down the trail - the road was pretty winding - and scary as shit. They were both quiet, Vinny kept looking behind them - and he said calmly, his voice soft - "I think we're okay Stevie, just focus on the road ahead - I'll keep my eyes on the one behind us." Steve stammered out - "Y-yeah okay.." The air all around them was covered in thick dense fog - and Steve was scared out of his mind. "Just go slow, nice and easy Stevie - you're alright.." Vinny said softly, in that soothing voice. "Nobody is behind us.." They made it right down the track - and Vinny gave Steve a crinkly eyed smile - "Fuck man.. I nearly shit my pants." He relaxed into his seat - and Steve said shakily, "M-me too." 

Vinny lifted his ass up a little, and then he fished a pack of smokes out of his pack pocket - "Want one? Calm your nerves." He said softly - Steve nodded and Vinny lit one, then he put it between Steve's lips - "Thanks.." Steve said softly, his hands were still shaking as he took a drag - winding the window down a little bit. Vinny lit another one - and they made if off the track completely, "You.. gotta tell me where to go..." Steve said softly, tears were still sliding down his face - and Vinny murmured, "Yeah.. course, course I will - a little way up ahead? There's a wooded rest area - I think we'll be safe to pull over there for a little bit, so you can stop shaking yeah?"

Steve nodded, and he took another drag on the cigarette - but he just felt sick in the stomach - so he flicked it out the window and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Vinny murmured, "It's just up here Stevie, c'mon.. pull over here okay?" He whispered - "Okay.." Steve pulled the truck over, and they were hidden off the road - the two of them sitting there quietly. Vinny shifted - rummaging in one of the bags he'd packed, he pulled out a box of granola bars - "It's not meat, sorry about that .. but maybe it'll help?" He opened it and then opened one and handed it to him. "Eat something hmm?"

Steve wasn't hungry, but he took it - and had a small bite. "T-thanks Vinny." He said softly, and Vinny opened one for himself - taking a bite, and then he muttered, "Ah fuck.. tastes like sawdust.. Jesus Christ." Steve actually let out a soft laugh - and Vinny snickered, he spat it back out - and held the box out for Steve - "You don't have to eat it Stevie.. c'mon don't torture yourself - soon as we find a Diner? I'll get you something decent I promise?" Steve gave Vinny a smile, and he said softly, "Sounds good.. that's fucking vile."

They both laughed, and Vinny pulled one leg up to his chest - "...You doing okay?" He asked softly, "Probably a stupid fucking question but..." Vinny shrugged - "It's dumb right, we ask if someone is okay when obviously they're not - what the fuck is that even about? It's fucking stupid." He flicked his own smoke out the window and Steve said softly, "...I'm most of my life I've never really known what I'm supposed to say, or not supposed to say - I.. kind of missed the memo? I.. didn't mix very well with other people.." Steve bit on his fingers, "People kind of... liked to break me." 

Vinny frowned, "Well that fucking sucks, I'm really sorry about that Stevie - I guess being up here? I only ever had my wacko family - and the people I grew up with, I didn't really mix much with Outsiders.. you know.. a lot of people, regular.. people? Humans.. meatbags, my Dad calls them meatbags, which is kinda fucked up - it ain't there fault that they can't put on fur.." He smirked and Steve let out a soft laugh, "..I.. am a broken Wolf. I.. don't know how to be a Human.. a meatbag and I don't really know how to be a Wolf properly either."

"You split? I mean.. fractured?" Vinny asked, shifting so he was facing Steve better. 

"Yeah... I think so?" Steve nodded - "I have black outs.." He murmured softly, "Periods that I just don't remember, huge.. chunks of my life, I don't know what I was doing.." 

Vinny was watching him quietly, and then he said suddenly, "Give me your hand?" He held out his own - and waited for Steve, "C'mon.. give me your hand."

Steve's was still shaking, but he held his hand out, and Vinny held it tight - but he said, "I'm gonna show you a trick or two okay? Bare with me a minute." He reached into the backseat again, and when he sat back in his seat, he had two things - a pen and a pocket knife. Steve just stared at him, a little apprehensive.

"This is gonna hurt, for a little bit - but, I promise you - it'll help you. You can trust me. It will work - and surprisingly it'll work than any other bullshit that some other fucker is going to feed you up in these mountains, do you want to know why?" Vinny asked, as he started drawing a strange looking symbol on the inside of Steve's wrist. And for some reason, the symbol seemed familiar to Steve - and yet he had no idea why.

"No.. I mean.. yes tell me why." Steve said quietly. 

Vinny lifted his gaze, and then he said - "Because you taught it to me." Steve just stared at him - not knowing what he meant, and then he let out pained hiss - as Vinny cut the symbol he'd just drawn into his wrist with the blade. "The hell are you doing!" Steve tried to pull his arm away, but Vinny held it vice tight - "Trust me, and don't heal it - not yet. Okay? Just trust me Stevie, trust it... please." Steve breathed out sharply, and he felt tears burning his eyes as Vinny finished carving it into his arm. Then he broke the pen with his teeth - and poured the ink over it - "You're giving me a goddamn tattoo?" Steve wasn't impressed - and Vinny murmured, "You need one, now you can heal it.." 

Steve did - his eyes turning liquid Gold, but Vinny grabbed the bottle of water from the floor by his feet and he washed the excess ink and blood way - the tattoo was still there, but now it was fully healed - then he lifted his gaze, flipped his own wrist over - and he had the same one. "I...went through some really fucked up shit, a couple of years ago.. I'm a former addict - I thought it would be cool to get the fuck off the mountain and go experience the world - but it fucked me over and I lost myself.. right? I lost myself so bad that I started having Blackouts - bad ones, didn't know anything anymore. And I dunno - I wound up in this.. fucking hippy commune down in Arizona?"

He went quiet, then he looked at Steve - "I met this crazy chick out there, she.. was beautiful Stevie, and she told me about you - the Goddess, said that if you invoke her, ask her for help - she'd help you. She had this book, had all this fucking crazy shit in it - this symbol? This is your symbol, it's a key to unlock yourself to free your mind and bring you back to center. You don't need sweat lodges and any other hoo hoo bullshit - you just... need this." Steve let out a soft exhale, and Vinny murmured softly - "So if you really are...Shar in there - then it will definitely fucking work for you right?"

Steve whispered, "I...guess so?" Vinny nodded yes - and then he whispered, "We probably shouldn't do it here - because it fucken it's like a freaky assed acid trip. But you got the first part already. You ever dropped acid?" Steve shook his head no, and Vinny murmured - "Well.. this is kind of like that - only a bit less psychedelic and a little more spiritual. At least it was for me. You.. taught me, and saved me. So the fact that I can help you - I get to maybe save you like you saved me? Maybe I get to do something right with my wastoid existence you know what I'm saying?"

"You're not a wastoid Vinny.." Steve said softly, "Don't say that about yourself." They held hands, and Vinny said softly - "I've been a fuck up most of my life Stevie.. Never really did much good for anyone." Steve whispered, "You're helping me...you're doing good for me, and it means everything to me right now. Everything." Vinny said softly, "Well.. good then. Lets.. go hmmm? Dunno bout you but I could eat a whole damn cow I'm so fucking hungry." He laughed softly and Steve said teasingly, "I could eat a whole tofu loaf.." 

"Oh man fuck that shit.." Vinny laughed he Steve let out a soft little chuckle - "Pretty tasty... not even gonna lie.." He started the truck up, and Vinny smiled - "...Do you wanna go back home?" Steve let out a soft breath, and then he whispered - "Not yet Vinny.. I have.. something I need to do before I do that.." He had tears in his eyes again, and Vinny held Steve's hand tighter - "You can tell me, whatever it is... I'll fucking help you..." Steve said shakily, "I... need to...I...am pregnant, and I don't..."

Vinny said softly, "And you don't want to be?" Steve nodded, biting his lip hard - "Then you  need to get the fuck away from this mountain and any Doctors near it - because if they do an abortion up here? They're going to make it so you can never have a pup ever again, and I'm... guessing that you maybe don't want that... right?" Vinny asked - Steve stared at Vinny, "What ...do you mean?" 

"We don't get to have abortions up here without Sterilization Stevie, its how they cull the Native population - whether your a Wolf or not - the government - its their fucking plan you know? Did you not.. nah... shit because you weren't born up here - you didn't know..." 

Steve suddenly realized why the Doctor at the hospital had been trying to put Steve off getting a termination till he went back to Virginia. It made sense now. He whispered, "Oh..." Vinny gently squeezed his hand, "...You...don't want that, not that Stevie.. I mean someday you may wanna have a pup, yeah? Maybe not now, not.. this one - but someday, don't fucking let them take that choice away from you completely... Because up here? They will... they.. did that to my ex girlfriend, she can't have pups anymore... and.. yeah.. she killed mine and never fucking told me." Vinny stared out the window. 

Tears burned Steve's eyes and he whispered - "I'm so sorry Vinny." Vinny squeezed Steve's hand - "It.. fuck it's okay Stevie, it is... what it is... I would have been a shitty fucking old man anyway.." He wiped at his face - and Steve stayed quiet as he drove. The two of them both quiet - Vinny said softly, "... Why'd Uncle Creeper kidnap you? I mean... sorry shit if you don't wanna talk about that, fuck ... its not my... business I'm sorry Stevie." 

Steve let out a shaky exhale, "...I...didn't know about all of that till you told me." His voice soft - "I've known him since I was eight years old, but... didn't know he was m-my Brother." Steve could feel Vinny's gaze. "Shit man.. I'm.. Fuck I'm a Dickhead, I... just thought you knew." Vinny muttered softly.

"No.. I.. him and I... it's complicated and f-fucked up." Steve said shakily, "I.. don't know.." He went silent and Vinny said quietly, "Did he hurt you? He's a fucking psycho - always has been. Got a screw loose or something." 

Steve just nodded yes - and Vinny said softly, "Scares you really fucking bad. Jesus Stevie - it's good then yeah? That we're getting you the hell away from him."

"Y-yeah..." Steve whispered, and he nodded yes again - Vinny felt Steve hold his hand tighter - and he said softly, "...Are you sure?" Steve whispered, "I'm not s-sure about anything anymore Vinny, just...that... I don't..." He breathed out harshly, "I... don't know... I don't know.." Vinny said quietly - "It's going to be alright Stevie.. just try to not think about it, not now - okay? We gotta get somewhere so you can rest for a bit, can you do that right now? Get you something to eat, and we can chill for a little bit."

Steve nodded yes - and Vinny murmured, "Okay... good. You're alright... just take a nice deep breath and then exhale nice and slow - okay?" Steve did and Vinny said softly - "Okay.. you're doing good. I'm gonna tell you something though okay? I know kung fu and shit so... I'll kick his ass if he should happen to make an appearance.. watched a lotta Bruce Lee movies."

Steve actually started laughing, and Vinny grinned - "Your ridiculous.." Steve said softly, and Vinny snickered - "Hey it worked though right?" Steve nodded and he said softly, "Yeah.. I was imagining you doing kung fu - and it was just the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen.. with your hair.." 

They were both laughing - and Vinny smirked - "Don't be dissing my hair now - its badass... perfect for my Kung fu moves.. you just wait and see - you'll be fucking amazed.." 

Steve let out a soft little laugh, and Vinny grinned - "You're fun, you.. just yeah.." Steve said softly, and Vinny smiled - "Good, no point worrying about every fucking thing yeah? Having fun is good for you.." 

"It.. is good, I.. haven't had a lot of it recently.." Steve said softly - and Vinny said "Well we gotta remedy the fuck outta that sad situation then don't we huh?"

"Yeah... can we? I like the sound of that.." Steve smiled, and Vinny said - "Definitely - there's a diner and a motel up ahead - on the next exit, we're far enough away from the mountain now - I think we should be okay for a little while."

They pulled over, and both of them got out of the truck. Steve said softly, "...Thanks Vinny." Vinny draped his arm around Steve and planted a kiss on his cheek, "You're welcome Uncle Stevie." He murmured and Steve said softly, "That's just weird, just call me Stevie kay?" They both laughed and Vinny saluted him, "Aye aye Captain." Steve snorted softly and they went into the diner. "I'm ordering a big fat juicy steak and all the shit that goes with it." Vinny grinned, "What about you Stevie?"

Steve said, "Hamburger, nom..nom nom." Vinny laughed - "You want the bits and bells to go with it?" Steve nodded - "Not sure I can pull if off but I'll try."  A short while later their food arrived and both of them got stuck in, the two of them ended up sharing everything - Vinny throwing curly fries at Steve who was catching them in his mouth. "Bruh you're too good at that shit.." Vinny snickered, and Steve smirked, "Too many years .. practicing.. with..." He felt the ache in his chest thinking about Kaj and Steve felt so confused - so fucking conflicted. He curled his fingers into his hair and then tugged on it. 

"You alright?" Vinny said, then he muttered darkly, "I hate myself, why do I keep asking that stupid fucking shit.." Steve let out a soft laugh, even though he had tears in his eyes - "I'm just really fucked up.. fucked up and confused and... have you ever been in love with more than one person?" He asked softly, his tears slid down his face.

"You're in love with Uncle Creeper? Fuck man.... that's some heavy shit.." Vinny said quietly, and then he nodded - "Yeah... the girl I mentioned, I was in love with her - like.. I woulda done anything for her you know? And I was with this other girl, and loved her too - but... the one that fucked me up really bad?" Vinny rubbed his hand over his face, "Bruh she was poison in my veins Stevie and I didn't know how to quit her, I never knew how to do that and she tore me to pieces - I lost the other girl, and I deserved that because I didn't treat her right. She loved me, and I loved her - but I didn't love her enough to quit the one that fucking ruined me... and she did... she ruined me and left me." 

Steve breathed out shakily, and Vinny murmured - "But then I'm not you, and your shit ain't mine - you know? But... if someone is bad for you Stevie? And ... I'm talking fucking bad. To the point where you don't even know who the fuck you are kinda bad?" Steve just stared at Vinnie - "That shit ain't worth ruining yourself for... just.. trust me on that one aight? Because if you go to far and you can't come back from it... you can't live with yourself... I ain't living - I'm just a Ghost.." Steve nodded and Vinnie murmured, "I fucking ruined myself, I don't think I can come back from that shit ever no matter how fucking much I want too.." He gulped down his soda, and stared out the window - "Don't...f-fucking do that to yourself if you can stop it... okay?"

"Yeah.." Steve whispered, he reached out and took Vinny's hand - "N-Nobody ever helped you?" He said softly. 

"Shit...I probably ain't worth helping.. cept for this.." He brushed his fingers over the tattoo. "You helped me.. if you are who everyone says you are.." His voice soft - "Maybe.. that's all the help I needed huh?" Steve whispered, "Maybe it is.." Vinny dug into his pocket, and threw the money for their food on the table, plus some extra to tip the waitress. "You wanna get outta here Stevie? Go camp out in a motel room for a while?" Steve nodded and Vinny gently tugged him to his feet - "C'mon... I'll get you your own room.."

Steve said softly, "Can we just share one? I.. don't wanna be by myself - is that okay?" Vinny nodded - "Yeah... course, I snore though.. just so ya know.." Steve laughed softly, "It's fine..." Vinny smirked, "You say that now... but bruh... don't hate me when you wanna smother me with a pillow aight.. I have given you fair warning in advance.." He bumped his hip against Steve's and they went across the street to the motel, where they'd already parked the truck.

They got a room with two single beds - "This is not that bad, surprised.." Vinny grabbed the bags out of the car - and Steve sat down on one of the beds - Vinny took the one nearest the door - and he unhooked a knife from his belt, and then another one from his boot. "Put this under your pillow - just in case." He said quietly, and Steve looked at it - "It's laced with Wolfsbane, so fuck don't touch the blade alright?" Steve nodded and he slipped it under the pillow - Vinny did the same with his one, and then he got up and locked the door - drawing the curtains and putting the lamp on between their beds. "So... kick ya shoes off Stevie and get comfortable."

They both did and Vinny said - "You wanna hook yourself up to your lost memories?" 

Steve said softly - "Okay." Vinny held out his hand - and he said softly, "Take my hand.." They held hands - "Then put the arm with the tattoo up right beside you and breath in slowly - hold it for five seconds and then breathe out... that's all we have to do for now... you can follow me yeah?"

"Yeah... I can do that." Steve said softly - they both did it together - and then Vinny said softly - "Inesh akekti..washitoba nashei." Steve knew he was speaking Mescalito - he was calling out to Him - to Shar, which made him shiver a little - and Vinny let out a soft little laugh, "Calling you and you're like holding my hand bruh - this is fucken crazy.." Their tattoos both suddenly lit up - and Vinny said - "Yeah nah that's different.." Steve's eyes turned liquid Gold, and Vinny's turned bright vivid pink - "Your eyes are pink?" 

Vinny snorted, "Yeah.. ridiculous right? Pink fucking eyes." - Steve sat upright, and Vinny did too - Steve suddenly shifted down to the floor between the two beds instead and he whispered, "Why did you call out to me....I already helped you Vincent Blackwater." Vinny whispered back, "I know you did Mother Shar, I'm helping you instead..." Steve whispered, "Oh... so it would seem."

He just slumped forward into Vinny's arms, Steve going limp - and Vinny said softly, "Stevie? Shit.. Stevie?" He pushed Steve's hair out of his face - Steve's eyes were closed, but they were racing back and forth under his eyelids like he was rapidly dreaming. Vinny scooped Steve up and then laid him back on the bed, "Dreamwalk well Stevie, find all your paths and walk them.. I'll be here when you wake up." He gently brushed Steve's hair out of his face, and covered him with the blanket. 

Chapter Text

Flickering, pulsating shadows curled in through his body from every direction, chasing him from the ground and lifting his body. There was no time here - no anchor to pull him to one specific place. He realized that he was no longer really a He. Or a she - or anything other than just being. No sense of self, or of identity.

Flowing through everything all at once. The world if you could still call it that - was it indeed a world? Perhaps not, just a place - a place in the midst of many places. A thought perhaps that just existed. A glimmer of a thing - like many things that existed all at once. Was time even real? Or just a concept made up by someone - another thing, another cog - another part of the machine. Was it all just a machine - a great turning wheel. A wheel within a wheel. 

Shadow shifted, moved and spun - twirling and vibrating with intention and purpose. It hung and then became light. Images formed - revealing all hidden things that couldn't be found once before. Lost memories - fractured things, volatile in nature for a mind to hold onto when the mind was broken and shattered like a fractured mirror.

The human mind it seemed was one of the most frail things to bend and break when it didn't know how to respond to trauma over and over again. But the mirror? The mirror rebuilt itself, the mirror reformed. The pieces put back together and resealed. The Shadow slipped from that space, and went back inside the mirror - the Shadow reformed itself.

Then it became aware again of the Body that it inhabited. The form - of the He. It's name was Steve. Steve Black. A pretty form. Full of torment and pain - lost in the broken fractures. The Shadow was this thing, had chosen it - to become it. So many times it had been broken, and bruised and shattered into so many pieces. And it never knew how to rebuild itself.

It stood helpless from behind a broken mirror while those around it didn't know how to help it. The Shadow filled every space, every void - every broken atom. It drew in the light too, and reformed every shard - every piece. Once it had, Steve Black - blinked slowly, seeing his/her reflection. For the first time - it seemed like.

It was when they became aware of them Self. No longer a separation from the Human side, and the Wolf - it was like the two separate pieces had merged whole. Joined finally - the space around them was a strange place. Beautiful, and yet strangely void all at the same time. Birdland. The word whispered through their mind, it was what the Father had called it - and yet, it was the Shadow Fell.

The place where Shar was cast into so long ago. Or... the place she had created for herself to live once she was cast out and long forgotten. There was a sweet mournful howl, far off in the distance, it sounded like the sad call of lost children, lost pups - because it wasn't just one Wolf - it was the layered voices of many.

Steve/Shar let out a soft exhale of breath, staring down at their hands - claws were extended out from the tips of their fingers. They had a strange form in this strange place - a Shadowy, half humanoid/half shadow form. That wasn't really solid and yet it was. They stepped through the mirror - and into Memory. Collecting all the things they needed too.

Walking through all the Memories, all the dreams - collecting everything as they walked along the many paths. When they got to the end of the road - they came out at the mountain. It was a huge - vast sprawling place. Forest that spanned for as far as the eye could see. There was a final door - and they opened it and walked through.

They were confronted with something they didn't expect to see. 

There was a river - and on the two opposite sides sat two different Wolves. One was White - and the other was Black. Neither could see Them. But they could see each other. But at the same time - they couldn't get to each other because the River was too wide and two deep - the current was too strong, too violent for either of them to cross. They wanted to Kill each other - destroy each other. Enemies - fighting for the same territory. The same prize. The same affections of the same Wolf.

Steve/Shar let out a soft exhale of breath - and they both looked at them. 

They would have to chose - they didn't want to have to make that choice. How could that choice be made?

The images before them, swirled away - and then at their feet the totem claw necklace broke into its two separate pieces - one half White - the other half was Black. But they had to stay together to actually have any power to do any good. They bent down and picked it up, and the two pieces were drawn back together like a magnet, snapping back into place. Steve/Shar put it back around their neck, and the space around them shifted and morphed again.

They were standing in the middle of a clearing deep in the Forest - where there was a small Den, an old cabin that had been abandoned a long - long time ago. It was surrounded by overgrowth and dense trees. 

They walked slowly towards it, it was surrounded by wildflowers of every color. Steve/Shar opened the door - and stepped inside. It was bereft of anything useful - but at the same time, it felt like Home. Like a place that was safe. A place that was special. They would have to find this place when they went back, it was significant - important. This was the place to give birth. To be in secret sanctuary - hidden away from the rest of the World. A private place for Mother, and Pup.

~***~

Steve jolted awake, confused - and scared out of his mind. The first thing he thought?

No goddamn way am I going looking for a sanctuary to have this thing in my Belly. 

The growl in his throat at himself however - was like a slap of cold water in his veins. His liquid, Golden eyes burned brightly in the dim light of the motel room - and his rumbling growl - startled Vinny awake from the other bed. "What? What is it - shit Stevie? You're awake man! Hey..." The other boys voice was rough from sleep - and Steve let out a soft, "Hey..." He was so confused though, it was dark - and when he'd last been awake it had been the middle of the day?

"...What happened?" He asked Vinny softly, trying to clear his throat - Vinny pulled himself up, he went to the small kitchenette - grabbed some soda's out of the fridge and handed one to Steve. He opened it and gulped it down, so thirsty - that he nearly drank it all in those first few gulps. 

"Dude you've been out for almost two days..." Vinny said as he raked his hands through his hair - "I... couldn't get you out of it at all. So.. there's that.." 

They both just looked at each other, and Steve said softly - "Two... days?" 

Vinny said softly, "...I was kind of hoping it would end soon, because we have a bit of a problem - I was thinking I was going to have to haul your ass out of here and travel with you while you were still under." 

Steve lifted his gaze, and he said softly - "Have.. have we been discovered?" Vinny said - "Well not yet, but its going to happen if we don't move on, try to go somewhere else - I went to get some supplies earlier today, and my Dad and Eddie were cruising past here - I nearly shit myself man, I waited till there was no sign of them before I came back here." 

They stared at each other, and then Steve said quietly - "I... its weird, I can remember all kinds of things I... didn't before. I... don't feel the same." Vinny said softly - "Do you feel better?" Steve murmured, "Yes and no? Like.. I feel better that I remember? But... all the other shit is still there too, I.. don't know how... I guess I don't need to explain it, you understand what I'm saying.." 

Vinny smiled, a soft smile and then he said hoarsely - "Yeah I do, its a mind fuck - because now you know the reasons why you feel fucked up, when you didn't know the reasons before. It's strange right?" Steve let out a soft raspy laugh, "Yeah it definitely is. Vinny.. I.. look, I.. just want to say thank you. For helping me? For doing this.. It means a lot to me. I.. really appreciate it. And you've been stuck here for two days while I've been... Dreamwalking? Is that what its called, my Mama Lyrena said... it isn't common. I.. did it before - once but I went back in time.."

Vinny looked at him, "You went back in time?" He said softly, "Yeah I've never heard of that - holy shit man... and yeah its called Dreamwalking, you can actually supposedly access peoples dreams, well maybe not me? But you could.." Steve said softly, "I.. yeah I went back to the night my Father murdered my Mother and sister and then killed himself... he was going to kill me, but.. he didn't because he talked to... this version of Me." 

"That's... fucking nuts." Vinny just stared at him - and Steve murmured, "Yeah.. it was kind of fucking nuts.." They both sat there in the quiet, and then Steve said softly - "I.. still don't know what to do about any of this.. how I feel, what I should... do." He sighed heavily, and whispered - "I... just feel really confused." Tears welled up in his eyes and Steve breathed out heavily. "...Do you still want to get out of dodge? Or.. do you wanna go back to the Rez?" Vinny asked quietly, and Steve opened his eyes. 

"I.. don't know." Steve murmured, answering as truthfully as he could. He didn't honestly know what he wanted to do - apart from the fact that he was confused, and scared - and he just felt lost, torn in two many directions. Steve realized that in his vision? He was the River. The River between Kaj, and Eddie. Going different directions and two violent in nature to know where it was flowing. Steve breathed out heavily, and Vinny said softly - "I have a suggestion?"

Steve looked at Vinny, who said softly - "Maybe you should talk to both sides.. talk to your family, to.. your man on the mountain - and then talk to Uncle Creeper - and tell all of them - both of them? That you need some time, and you need some fucking space to just breathe and figure some shit out, for you. You can still do that, you're fucking allowed to do that you know." Steve's tears slid down his cheeks and he said shakily - "I don't know how to talk to anyone about any of this though... I mean, I ... how? My family, ...Kaj - they're going to want me back, and I want... to be with them.." He wiped his face and let out a shaky breath.

"And with Eddie... I... I don't even know where to f-fucking start with him.. Vinny, he.. its so complicated, he.. he's so.. it is so much, he's too m-much. It's intense and dark and he's dangerous but... I love him, and I shouldn't.." Steve said softly, "I shouldn't.."

Vinny said softly, "I know you're hurting, and you're scared - I can't make your mind up for you, or your choices. All I can do is try to help you. I'll do whatever I can, any way that you need or want me too." 

Steve let out a sob, and Vinny got up and came and sat beside him - "Wanna hug?" He asked softly and Steve just nodded yes - Vinny curled his arms around him and Steve curled into him, they both sat there - Steve sobbing and Vinny just held him close. "I wish I knew what to tell you to make everything easy for you." Vinny said softly, "But life is never easy."

Steve whispered, "I... am really scared."

"I know you are. I guess maybe that is where we start? How do we stop you from feeling scared? What will make that stop?" Vinny asked softly.

Steve let out a soft little whimper. He curled into Vinny, and breathed out harshly as his tears came harder and faster. 

"Do you want to go see your family?" Vinny said softly, as he stroked his hair - and Steve said tearfully, "But that will just put them in danger, if Eddie knows I've gone back there - he'll come back there - you're in danger even being with m-me... I.. should, .. I should just be on my own.." He breathed out harshly, and Vinny said quietly - "Hey look.." He suddenly held Steve's face in his hands, "Look at me okay?" Steve did, and Vinny frowned - "You need someone, if that someone is me? That's okay - I have nobody, so if I.. fucking die to protect you? I'll do that. I don't care. Come at me." His voice was gruff, but he was being serious.

"I don't want you to die for me." Steve said softly. 

"Well I will if I have too." Vinny said quietly. "I can be a sacrifice in the chaos - it doesn't matter. But the point I'm making is that you can't just wander in the desert alone. I can be your like.. go between. If you want me to give your family a message, I can do that - shit I'll even go back home and face the wrath if I have too - I just, we can do what we need too. Figure this shit out. I have no ties, no loyalty to my family - because they don't give a shit about me Stevie. My parents? They don't care - they have their own agenda, they don't see me. They never did."

Steve said softly, "That sucks - what agenda?"

"I told you.. my Mom is crazy - she thinks that you're going to reunite all the Wolves together as one big fucking happy pack. All the Blacks, all the Outsiders up at the compound - up there its a bunch of people that were cast out from all over the place - even when I was in Arizona? People knew about the compound. It's like the place for Waifs and strays and.. if my parents weren't nuts - its actually a cool place really.." His voice was soft, "They're just weirdo's." Vinny had tears on his face which he wiped away. He said softly - "And the Blacks think my Dad is the antichrist or something.. another Charles Manson running an evil cult.." He snorted.

Steve let out a soft laugh, and Vinny grinned - "My Mom's probably more of a cult leader - and.. well Uncle Creeper.. he could probably pull that shit off too if he wasn't so fucking creepy." He rolled his eyes and Steve smiled softly, "You're.. sweet." He gently wiped Vinny's tears away. "I.. when I came here, like.. to the Rez - I felt so peaceful, like I found home.. I've never felt that before. I.. love it there." He said softly. Vinny let out a soft sigh - "It is beautiful up on the mountain. I don't know a lotta people down on the Rez - well I know of them, but not.. like really that well you know what I mean. But the people living at the compound are pretty good people - just a bit wacko." He laughed and Steve smiled.

"...Your Mom thinks that about me?" Steve said softly.

"Dude she probably has a shrine to you or something." Vinny snorted and they both laughed. 

Steve bit his lip softly, and then he said quietly - "I...wanna say something but, I don't know if I should."

"Stevie? I want you to know that you can say anything to me and I'm not going to judge you alright?" Vinny told him as he gently stroked his hair. "Just say what you want to say."

Steve lifted himself up, and then he curled his arms around himself. "...Everyone is going to think I should have this pup. My family, even when they know about it - even if they know .. they're still going to think that. I already know Eddie.. he won't accept that I don't want this. None of them will accept that.." He said softly, "Even if I stayed with Kaj - .. if I was with him, he'd be a Father to it - knowing it wasn't his." Steve said softer - "I.. don't know if I can do that - do .. t-this.. I don't know if I want this." He breathed out harshly - "...I don't know what I want because I'm so fucking confused."

"..How far along are you?" Vinny asked quietly. 

"I have four weeks before I can't do anything." Steve said softly. "So.. I either do it now - or.. then I can't." Tears slid down his face and Vinny gently rubbed his back - "Did you ever think about it? Being a Mama?" Steve sniffled, "Once.. when things with Eddie were good, I thought about it.. But.. I'm a fucking monster, I'm.. I'm poison - I have no idea what being a mother would be - I'm poison. I would pollute it and make it bad like I am bad.." He said it hoarsely and Vinny growled out - "That's a bunch of bullshit."

Steve let out a sob, and Vinny said - "Look... look, forget about everything else.. everyone else. Forget about all of that. It isn't about the Father, the chaos or the bullshit - it is about You. It's about how you feel. What do you want? You are not any of those things you just said Steve. Bad things happened to you, you're not those things. Life can be what you make it - you can make your life good and better. I should take that shit into my own life too - and I'm trying too. I try every goddamn day. But... what I'm saying is that you?" Vinny breathed out heavily and he gently gripped Steve's chin, making him look at him.

"You are a good person, I'm a good person - life just likes to deal us shitty fucking things. But when it comes to you and your pup. If you want to have your pup - you will be surrounded by all the people that love you, so you wont be alone. If you stumble if you make mistakes? That's fucking normal - nobody says you have to be perfect. But you also don't have to give your pup up because you think you're some fucking monster that's going to pollute it? That's goddamn bullshit. You will love it, and protect it and be the best thing that ever happened to it. And it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.. because it's a part of you.."

Steve had tears streaming down his face and he let out a stuttering breath. 

"You will love it with all of your entire soul. It doesn't matter about all the other bullshit. It doesn't matter about anyone else - just you. What do you want?" Vinny said softly. "If you're not ready, you're not ready - and if nobody can accept that, that isn't on you okay? And if you want to have your pup, you have your pup. Nobody gets to make that choice for you, but you." Steve curled his arms around Vinny and he whispered shakily, "I'm not being a monster if I can't do it?" Vinny said softly, "No Stevie, you're not being a monster." Steve said with a sob, "Did you think your girl was a monster?"

Vinny said hoarsely, "No Stevie, I didn't think she was - God.. I still love her - I still love her and miss her every damn day.. my heart's fucked up." They held each other a little tighter and Steve said softly, "Where is she?" Vinny whispered tearfully, "She.. couldn't live with herself, what she did - she.." Steve cupped Vinny's face in his hands and he said hoarsely - "She took her own life." Steve whimpered softly, and Vinny whispered, "I did that.. I fucking did that.. I'll never forgive myself." Steve held him tightly and Vinny sobbed in his arms. The two of them both crying as they held each other. Steve breathed out harshly, the two of them laid down and Steve said softly, "I'm so sorry, so sorry you've lost so much.."

Vinny was quiet, and Steve whispered - "You've had to carry all this, all by yourself?" Vinny just dug his fingers in and he managed to get out - "I had no c-choice." Steve soothed him by scenting him, and Vinny slowly stopped crying, he voice was rough as he asked suddenly, "How do we know if someone is actually our mate?" Steve said softly, "I... don't know, not.. I mean I'm probably not the best person to ask... I have two people that I love and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.." His voice was soft, an his drawl more obvious -  "I'm'a goddamn disaster Darlin'." 

They both let out a soft little giggle and Steve smiled softly, Vinny murmured - "I though Cara was my mate, but.. I don't know if she was.. I don't know if she was because why would she have done what she did... you know? We were both so fucking young and... I don't know Stevie.." He let out a heavy exhale of breath, and Steve said softly - "You're still young, you sound like you're some ancient old man.." He let out a soft little laugh, and Vinny muttered darkly - "I'm twenty-two I feel about a hundred and two." Then he laughed and they were both laying there staring up at the ceiling. 

"I'm twenty-four, I feel a thousand years old.." Steve said softly, and Vinny said with a snicker - "You're like old as fuck, older than Methuselah's beard.. bruh." He teased and Steve laughed harder, "Shut your damn face.. little punk." They were both giggling though, and Steve said - "It is kinda true though.. huh.. Damn it." Vinny snickered - "Maybe you have two mates.. greedy Bitch." Steve blushed hotly and he whispered, "Hush.. stop that I can't have two, and especially two that hate each other - or would kill each other.. because one tried to kill me." 

Vinny frowned and then he said, "Uncle Creeper tried to kill you? That dude is off the fucking hook - I mean the coffin thing should have given me a clue - but he tried to kill you?" Steve nodded and he whispered, "Yeah... he did.." He lifted his shirt up and Vinny stared at the scar - "Shot me.." Steve murmured - "I was.. going to kill myself but.. he shot me instead, and.. now I have this scar... to remind me." He let his eyes close - "And I still love him, I still... love him so much I can't stand it. He's done some really fucked up shit to me and I still.... love him."

"What about.. the other guy?" Vinny asked softly.

"Oh.. hmm...he's Kaj is..." Steve said softly, "He's just.. I don't even know. He's everything to me too. He's light..." Steve said quietly, "Eddie.. is the darkness. Eddie is obsession, he's .. I'm so messed up Vinny. If I try to quit Eddie... I'll hurt Kaj, I don't want to hurt Kaj either." Steve murmured softly - "But I don't know how to quit Eddie, I know I need too... he won't let me.." Tears slid down Steve's face and Vinny said softly, "If you did - would you be happy with Kaj? Could you be?"

Steve said softly, "I know I could be." He breathed out shakily, "Have you lived without either of them?" Vinny asked. 

He opened his eyes, "Yes - but I was always lost. Messed up. Blacking out."  Vinny said softly - "So.. maybe that's something you need to figure out for yourself - how you live without them. How that feels. the space thing you know?"

Steve nodded, and he sat up slowly - "I'm going to go and take a shower." Vinny said softly - "Want me to go across the street to the diner and get some food?" 

"That would be good." Steve said softly, and Vinny smiled - "What do you feel like eating?"  Steve smiled and then he said softly, "Pancakes?" He had his sweet face, puppy-eyes and Vinny smirked, "Pancakes, anything else?" Steve added softly, "Bacon.. hmm lots of Bacon.." Vinny laughed softly - "Sure thing and anything else?" Steve let out a soft laugh, "Fried Banana if they have it..." Vinny as pulling his boots on and then Steve bit his lip - "A pickle?" 

Vinny snickered, "Sure I can see if I can scrounge up a pickle." He threw Steve a smirk - "You go have a shower, and I'll have it all ready when you get out.." Steve laughed softly as Vinny rolled his eyes and said, "Fucking pickle and fried Banana you weirdo - you could have a steak.." Steve muttered softly, "I still want tofu loaf - stop judging me." 

Vinny laughed loudly, "Eww that's just fucking wrong you freak show - What even are you?." Steve flipped him the bird, snickering as he got up and went into the bathroom - "Little asshole.." He muttered affectionately, and shut the bathroom door. 

Chapter Text

Steve was happily eating his food - freshly showered and feeling a little bit more settled. Vinny had brought him a chocolate milkshake too, which he hadn't asked for? But it was delicious. He was eating a mouthful of pickle, fried banana and bacon - with a piece of pancake drizzled with syrup when the knock on the door made his eyes get all big. Vinny set his hamburger down on the wrapper that it came in and he muttered with his mouthful, "Should I open it?" 

They both looked at each other - they were both anxious, scared - and Steve didn't know what to say or do. There was another knock - and then a voice - "Vincent Jacob Blackwater, you come and open this door right now!" It was a woman's voice, Vinny let out a heavy sigh - and he said hoarsely, "Dude... it's my mom." Steve swallowed his mouthful of food, and Vinny opened the door. Mischa was not what Steve had been expecting - not that he really knew what he had been expecting. Was he expecting her to be like Eddie?

She had long hair, that was silky and black - that went way down her back, and it was streaked with white. Big green eyes that were almond shaped, and lined with eyeliner. She reminded Steve of a cat, she was tall like Eddie, and graceful - predatory in the way she moved. Graceful, and dangerous. Steve felt his body tense up - and Vinny shut the door as she came into the room. Her gaze immediately landed on him - but she was talking to Vinny. 

"You do like to cause unnecessary angst don't you my Darling boy." She said softly, sitting on the end of Vinny's bed - her lilting voice although feminine reminded Steve so much of Eddie's, that it made him ache - made him miss Eddie fiercely, and hot tears welled up in his eyes. He physically hurt - felt like the air got sucked out of his lungs. Mischa said softly, "Are you alright Steven?" He breathed out shakily, as tears slid down his face silently - he closed his eyes tightly. 

"Mom... leave him alone." Vinny's voice was firm - quiet, and Mischa said with a laugh, "What are you even doing Vincent? Hmm? Running off with Steven and doing what?" Steve opened his eyes, looking at Vinny, who was sitting there just staring at his mother - Mischa let out a soft little huff, "Eat your food Darling before it gets cold." Vinny frowned, and then he picked up his burger - she reached out, and stroked her son's hair - "You're always thinking that you're not loved or cherished, you couldn't be more wrong you know." Her voice was soft, and Vinny looked at her - his eyes were full of tears. Mischa let out a soft little hum, and then she got up - and walked around the room, brushing her fingers over the dresser.

"This place... what a dive." She said it quietly, gradually moving closer - and then she was right next to Steve. "Hello Sweetling." She said softly, and Steve stared up at her - she smiled softly, and then sat on the bed beside him. "So..." She looked down at his food and made a face - and Steve felt the heat in his cheeks, but she pushed his hair back. "I know Edward is a strange creature, rather intense.. obsessive.." She let out a sigh - "He goes about things in entirely the wrong way.." Steve just stayed still, and Mischa let out a soft little huff as she leaned in closer and then kissed Steve's temple. "But.. you are so treasured by not just him - but by us all. I'm your family too you know, you ran off before we could even meet."

Steve felt the heat in his face get hotter and Mischa said softly, her voice all lilting - almost like she was casting a spell over him with her words - "You weren't even a little bit curious to meet the rest of your family?" She asked softly, and then their eyes met. Steve let out a soft little breath - Mischa's Wolf eyes were piercing blue, and reminded him of Kaj's - like liquid ice, Steve's immediately went liquid Gold - and Mischa smiled, nuzzling his face - scenting him, and Steve actually whimpered. He whimpered and scented her back - Mischa said softly, "Sweet little thing, yes Darling - come cuddle me." Mischa curled her arms around him, and Steve?

He just snuggled in and cuddled her back like it was the most natural thing in the world - she pulled him in and was cradling him like he was her baby - like he was a small child in her arms. And Steve let out another soft little whimper, Mischa rocked him - and was stroking his hair, and then she said softly - "You don't have to be afraid of me Steven, and I will not let Edward hurt you." He breathed out softly, her scent smelt like roses and pumpkin pie and comfort. 

She hummed softly - and then she said softly, "What is this you're eating hmm?" Steve whispered, "Weird stuff." She let out a soft laugh, and Steve nuzzled his face against her neck. 

Steve let out another soft little whimper - as Vinny suddenly was a part of their cuddle - "M'sorry Mama.." His said softly, and Mischa said in her soothing voice - "It's alright Vinny, you were just doing what you do - hmm?" Steve pulled back slowly, and Mischa was stroking Vinny's hair back - "This silly haircut.." She laughed as she shook her head, and Vincent muttered softly - "It's a good haircut.. dunno what your talkin about.." Mischa snorted, and Steve let out a snicker of his own. Mischa's said "Even Steven knows its ridiculous - look at you, flopping everywhere." She smiled at her son though, "My Beautiful boy.." 

"Is Dad really pissed?" Vinny said quietly, and Mischa snorted - "Really pissed, well.. he was - but then he got over himself - Eddie is the one that was feeling betrayed the most." Her voice soft, and then she stroked Steve's hair, "...But I talked to them both." Vinny said softly, "Why are you here and not them.. how'd you know where to find us.."

"Vinny, come on.. you're not James Bond.." She looked at her son, "Eddie and Dad saw you yesterday.." She laughed softly, and Steve murmured - "They...d-didn't...come to get us then.." Mischa looked at Steve, "No.. because I said not too. I wanted to come, and when I saw you.." She looked at Vinny, "Coming back from the diner.. Eddie is out in the truck, waiting.." Steve felt his stomach get all tight. Mischa whispered against his ear, "Do you want me to go and get him?" Steve let out a shaky exhale, and Vinny said softly - "I can go get him?"

Steve and Vinny looked at each other - and Mischa said softly, "Finish eating - both of you hmm?" She whispered against Steve's ear, "You're Beautiful. Sweetling." He blushed and lowered his gaze, Mischa said softly, "...I'll go and get Eddie hmm?" He wasn't sure if he wanted that, not really - he stared at Vinny, and once they were alone - Vinny said softly, "I'm so sorry - they're gonna make us go back Stevie, I... fuck I'm sorry." Steve whispered - "It's okay, we.. tried.." They held hands and Vinny said softly, "I.. should have got us outta here while I had a chance.." 

~***~

Eddie saw Mischa come back out and he climbed out of the truck, "...Mish." His voice wrecked - she said softly, "Be still brother, he's okay.. they're both okay - scared you're going to lose your shit. Vincent is scared of his Father, they're both scared of everything... just be still. Calm for me.. can you do that?" His sister stroked his face and Eddie nodded - even though he didn't feel calm at all. He placed his hand over hers, and Mischa said soothingly - "We will get them to come back, if you stay calm Eddie.." He breathed out softly, and Mischa murmured "I told you we would. You just have to trust me." 

He looked like hell, dark circles under his eyes - he was on edge, paler than usual - when he'd woken up to find Steve gone again? 

Eddie hadn't handled it well at all. Handled it even less knowing that Steve had run away with Vinny's help - not knowing where they'd disappeared too. Him and River figured they'd gone back to the Reservation - but they hadn't. That was one small, tiny glimmer of hope for Eddie. That Steve hadn't gone running back into the arms of Him. To Kaj. Mischa linked her arm through his - and they went into the motel room. 

Steve's eyes met Eddie's - big and full of fear, but also want. Desire - love. 

Eddie breathed out sharply - hit with the overwhelming power of Steve's scent hitting him hard and fast and it almost made him feel drunk. Dizzy with it. Vinny was terrified - his was heady and reeked of fear. But Eddie didn't - couldn't focus on that, he wasn't focused on anything but Steve. Vinny moved away from Steve and sat on the other bed with his Mother. Eddie was shaking, and Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat, Eddie couldn't help it - he moved in close, immediately.

He pulled Steve into his arms, into his lap - and Steve? Steve shifted into his body as close as he could get. Like he wanted to be there - like he wanted Eddie to not let go.

Relief washed over him, and Eddie was stroking his fingers into Steve's hair, then against his back - wherever he could touch that was available to him. Steve nuzzled his face against Eddie's chest, then his neck and Eddie let out a soft, rumbling little growl in his throat - tears burning behind his eyes. Steve curled his fingers against his sides, but then up against his back - holding on and digging them in as he pressed closer, "Dee.." He whimpered it, oh-so-softly and Eddie started crying. 

Broke down and sobbed like a child. 

Wretched, and broken - he couldn't breathe properly as he did it. And that made Steve's scent get all heavy with the smell of fear, his heart beating faster - not liking that Eddie was so distressed. But he couldn't stop himself, he tried - but it wouldn't stop. Steve whimpered, and curled his fingers into his hair - "No.. no...no.." He said tearfully, "No I'm sorry, No..." He was kissing Eddie's face, kissing his tears - letting out shaky little breaths, "No don't cry.. don't cry Dee - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." Eddie breathed out against Steve's mouth, and Steve whimpered, "I'm so sorry." Eddie just cradled Steve's head, holding him and he let his eyes close.

They were both shaking, but Eddie eventually did stop crying - he felt Steve holding on tighter - and he breathed out slower, trying to calm himself down. He opened his eyes, looking at his sister - who was watching them both, her Wolf eyes burning fiercely. Beside her, Vinny sat with his head low but he must have felt Eddie looking because he lifted his head - tears on his face - his eyes were sad, and full of anguish. Eddie couldn't even be angry with him for doing what he'd done - he just realized in that moment that his nephew had pain, and a lot of it inside him - and he'd only been trying to help Steve. He let out a soft breath, and Mischa said quietly - "Shall we get things packed up and go back home?"

Eddie nodded yes, and Vinny wiped at his face. 

Steve let out a shaky exhale, and Eddie stared down at him - Steve lifted his gaze, and just stared at him from under his lashes. 

"Do you want to come back?" Eddie murmured it softly against Steve's mouth, almost like he was asking him secretly. Steve had tears in his lashes - and he breathed out against Eddie's face. "I...do." Eddie wasn't stupid, he knew there was a but there as well. He knew there was a lot more that Steve wanted to say, but he wasn't saying it - and for now, Eddie didn't want him too. He whispered, "Okay.." Steve just stared up at him, and Eddie whispered - "Okay my sweet boy."

Steve whispered, "I'm sorry Dee." Eddie whispered back, "Don't be sorry..."

Steve let out a soft little whimper, his eyes closed - but he kissed Eddie softly - and Eddie murmured against his mouth, "Let's go."

~***~

They were alone together in the cabin, it was a little bit cold - they were sitting opposite sides of the bed, their backs to each other - both of them had showered and had towels around their waists. Eddie was exhausted, he felt wrung out and stretched too thin and didn't really want to sleep because the last time he had he'd woken up and Steve had been gone. He pushed his fingers through his hair, feeling Steve shifting, he let his eyes close as Steve's arms slid around his body - his cool skin pressing in and Steve whispered, "You're quiet.."

Eddie murmured softly, "I...I'm tired." He let out a soft exhale, and Steve whispered, "Come lay down with me." Eddie didn't say anything, but he did take his towel and threw it onto the chair - looking at Steve, he gently pulled Steve's from his waist and then did the same thing, and then they both slipped under the covers and curled up together. Steve let out a soft exhale against Eddie's mouth, and Eddie murmured - "You're not going to run away again and I'll wake up alone.." He stroked his fingers against Steve's face, and Steve whispered - "No.. I'll still be here."

They both breathed out against each others face, and Eddie said softly, "I...know I don't deserve you.. I know I don't, I... wish I could take back what I've done, the... horrible.." Steve pressed his fingers against Eddie's mouth, and he whispered - "Lets not talk about that right now, please? Please I don't want to think about it, don't want to cry, I don't want that.. not.. right now Eddie.." Eddie kissed Steve's fingers, and Steve pressed himself in closer, Eddie murmured - "Is this you saying goodbye to me for good Steven?"

Steve let out a shaky exhale, and he whispered against Eddie's mouth - "Stop it... stop it Eddie, please?"

Eddie kissed him deeply, hungrily - possessing Steve's mouth as he moved over him and pulled Steve's legs up around his waist. Steve stroked his fingers down Eddie's back, kissing him just as hungrily - whimpering in his throat, and Eddie murmured against his mouth, "I love you... I love you my sweet boy, my darling.." Steve whispered back, "I love you too Eddie - god I love you too." He stared up at Eddie, from under his lashes, and Eddie whispered against Steve's mouth - "You're going to go down to the Rez, see your...family and then you won't come back.." He rocked his hips into Steve's, and licked against his throat, making Steve moan softly.

"Stop it..." Steve whimpered, "Stop talking about it..."

Eddie growled softly, and kissed Steve again, Steve dug his fingers into Eddie's ass and whispered against his mouth, "Stop talking about that and... make love to me.." He licked at Eddie's mouth, and Eddie moaned softly, "Make you mine?" Steve whispered breathlessly, "Yes Dee... make me yours.." Eddie pushed his cock slowly into Steve's pussy, making Steve whimper - making him curl his legs tighter around him, "Like this?" Eddie said huskily, and Steve moaned softly - "Uh-huh like..t-this..."

They both moaned as Eddie sank all the way in - sharing their breath, Eddie let out a soft moan as Steve clenched vice-tight around him, so wet and hot - "I love you.." He murmured softly and Steve whimpered "I love you.." Eddie took his time, making Steve come apart - making himself come apart too as they moved together, slowly - torturously. Rocking together and letting the pleasure build. Steve holding onto him, and Eddie whispered against his mouth, "Mine..." 

Steve gasped out, "Yours.. oh.. Eddie...Dee.." He was laying there, pleasure washing over his face - just staring up at him, and Eddie murmured softly - "So beautiful, my sweet boy.." Tears welled up in Steve's eyes, and he let out a soft - sweet moan as Eddie rocked his hips, driving his cock into that sweet place. Steve gasped out softly - "I... love you Eddie..." Eddie breathed out against Steve's throat - and licked the sweat from his skin, Steve's fingers dug into his ass as he pulled Eddie in deep again - making Eddie moan - making him let out a rumbling soft growl from his throat. "Tell me that your mine.." He said against Steve's mouth, "Tell me that you're always mine.."

"I... am.. I'm yours Eddie, my shadow...." Steve whimpered, but then he cried out as Eddie hit into that sweet spot again - "Eddie....Dee... oh...oh.." He kept crying out - oh so sweetly, each time Eddie hit that spot, his pussy getting wetter, slicker - and he bit against Eddie's throat - fangs out, and Eddie grunted softly - dirty, both of them moaning as Eddie's knot started to swell, as it locked in and Steve moaned dirty, "Fuck me...Daddy, fill my pussy.." Eddie growled against his mouth, "Such a naughty boy you are Steven.." Steve whimpered breathily, "Your...naughty b-boy.." He looked up at him and whispered, "Yours...Daddy.." 

Eddie curled his fingers around Steve's throat, applying a little pressure and Steve groaned - "Uh.. yeah.. fuck.." Eddie thrust his hips, rutting his knot - they both were moaning louder, dirty and breathless - Eddie growled as Steve panted - eyes rolling as Eddie gripped his throat, his mouth open, Eddie spat into it slowly and Steve swallowed it down - coming in hot pulses against Eddie's belly, his pussy flooding around his cock - the wet squelch of it lewd and obscene as Eddie's cum, and his slick got fucked out with Eddie's thrusts.

Steve's liquid golden eyes burned brightly staring up at him, and Eddie breathed out heavily - his own burning bright too. "Fuck.. fuck me.." Steve's voice was wrecked, and Eddie rolled them, gripping Steve's hips - he held Steve's arms behind his back, and then started pounding his hips up - Steve cried out as he did, crying out "Yes... yes...yes...fuck me...fuck me harder Daddy.." Eddie let out a snarl almost, and held Steve flush against his body - Steve was breathless, panting as Eddie kept going - making Steve incoherent, pleading - and sobbing with it as he came again without being touched - Eddie coming again inside him. Then he slowed down, just rocking into Steve slowly - Steve was breathless and panting - whimpering, "Oh.. oh Dee.. Eddie.. oh fuck.."

Eddie slid his fingers into Steve's hair - Steve was holding onto him, curling his fingers against Eddie's body - and he laid against him - catching his breath. Eddie moved slowly - and then he kissed Steve lazily, murmuring against his mouth "Mine.." Steve whispered breathlessly, "Yours... mhmm..fuck.. Eddie.. I'm dead.." Eddie smirked, looking down at Steve - whose face was all flushed - his mouth open a little as he tried to catch his breath, he was so Beautiful - his lashes kissing his cheeks. 

"I love you Eddie.." Steve whispered, opening his eyes to look at him. 

Eddie said huskily, his own voice wrecked and breathless - "I love you too my sweet boy." He stroked his fingers against Steve's face - "My beautiful boy.." Steve just stared at him - and Eddie stared back. "If... you weren't already pregnant with my pup.. you would be with.. all the times I've knotted you.." Eddie said huskily. Steve flushed with heat - his face going all pink, and then he whispered - "...Why...would you say that.. Eddie.." He hid his face and Eddie murmured, "Because... I.. have a thing about knotting you and filling you with my cum?"

"Jesus.." Steve whispered, and Eddie smirked - Steve looked at him, and Eddie rolled them back over - "...I.. wanna keep it in you.." He murmured it against Steve's mouth, and Steve whispered breathlessly - "...Keep.. your cum in me?" Eddie growled softly, "Yeah... deep in you.." 

"Oh...oh...fuck.." Steve whispered shakily, and Eddie kissed him hungrily - making Steve shiver. He felt heat rush all through his body - and Eddie whispered like he was telling Steve a secret, "...Do you like that? Hmmm?" Steve whimpered, "Stop.. stop it.. fucksake.." 

Eddie smirked, "...That's the whole point of knotting, to fill your pussy and keep it in so you get knocked up.. but I keep doing it and you are already carrying my pup... so.. I'm just making sure.. I guess." His voice all dirty and soft and Steve whimpered softly, shivering as he stared up at Eddie, biting his lip softly - "Mine.." Eddie whispered. 

Steve got all shy and he stammered out - "Y-yours.." Eddie murmured, "Mhmm... my sweet Baby... aren't you... gonna be so pretty with that belly all swollen.."

Steve got all quiet, just staring up at Eddie, and Eddie whispered, "Beautiful, and sweet.. and full with my pup... our pup.." Steve could feel the tears in his eyes, and he keened soft in his throat - baring his neck to Eddie, and he didn't know why - he let out a soft, little rumbling growl and Eddie whispered "Yeah.. you want it, don't you... love it." Tears spilled down Steve's face, and Eddie licked them up, nipping  at his throat, and then he sank his fangs in, filling his pussy with more cum and rutting his hips - making Steve slick again, making his cock leak between them - against Eddie's stomach. 

Eddie murmured against his throat, "My sweet baby, my beautiful... sweet boy." Steve clung to Eddie, his eyes closed - he felt like he was falling asleep while Eddie was still coming inside him, while his body was still responding and keeping Eddie exactly where he was. While he was keening and moaning, wanting him to never stop. He could hear the thud-thump of Eddie's heart beat, soothing and steady and Steve whimpered softly - clenching around Eddie's cock again. 

"Love you... love you stay.." He said sleepy, and warm - and Eddie murmured, "I love you too my Darling - my sweet boy. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you hmmm." Eddie whispered against his ear, "I'll keep you just like this, hmm then you can't run away..." Steve whispered sleepily, "Not..running...Dee.." He drifted off - contented with Eddie cradling him close - sleeping while Eddie kept fucking him - pumping his pussy full - he went to sleep, and his Wolf whimpered with happiness. 

Chapter Text

Steve bit his lip softly, he was sitting with Vinny - the two of them curled up together - "Are you doing okay Stevie?" Vinny asked, and Steve said softly - "I.. don't know. I .. don't know what to do still." He let out a slightly heavy exhale, and then he whispered "I .. feel like no matter what I do, I'm going to tear everything apart.." Tears welled up in his eyes, and he closed them tightly. "I need to .. figure it out, and I don't know how to do that.." He felt Vinny's hand curl around his and Vinny said softly, "Want me to take you down the mountain?" Steve breathed out heavier, and he whispered - "I... know I need to go - but if I do.. I hurt Eddie, and... if I stay I hurt them.." He let out a sob and whimpered, "I... miss my friends, my family - I..."

Vinny curled his arms around Steve and held him close, gently rocking him - "Do you want me to bring them up here?" Vinny asked softly, "I.. I'll do whatever you want me to do Stevie." He saw his Mom, who was walking between the Big house, and one of the smaller cabins - she saw them together, saw him comforting Steve and she just stared at him, before disappearing inside. "I.. d-don't know what to do Vinny.." Steve sobbed, and he whispered, "It's okay Stevie.. it's okay." He looked over at the cabin that Steve was staying in with his Uncle. "Where is Ed's?" He asked softly.

"With your Dad? I think?" Steve said tearfully, "I.. don't know." He muttered and Vinny said softly, "Wanna come inside?" Steve nodded, wiping at his face and Vinny stood up bringing Steve with him, and then took him inside his own cabin. He shut the door, and he made some room - clearing his bed off. "You can snuggle up in there if you want? I don't mind Stevie." He said softly, helping Steve climb in. Steve looked exhausted, in fact - he looked like hell if Vinny was being truthful. Steve curled up and Vinny said softly, "I'm gonna go hunt you some bunnies or.. a deer or something okay?" Steve said with a soft little sniffle, "You d-don't have to do that.. I'm okay.." He was already half asleep, and Vinny said softly - "No.. it's okay, you can't keep eating frikken tofu."

Steve was asleep, his lashes kissing his cheeks - Vinny pulled the covers up over him, and he gently stroked Steve's hair out of his face. Tears welled up in his eyes - and Vinny muttered, "Shit.." He sniffled and wiped his hands over his face. He knew he had to do something, something to help Steve. Because he couldn't do nothing anymore. He bit his lip, going over to the window - he looked outside, wondering where Eddie and his Dad were. Why was Eddie leaving Steve alone all the time? Alone with nobody? He was all alone and he needed his family, Steve was all alone - and he was with Pup, and he was frightened, and Steve didn't want to have his pup. He was scared of being pregnant.

Steve whimpered softly in his sleep, and Vinny put another blanket over him - he decided he was going to go and talk to his Mom. Maybe she would know what to do? Had Eddie told his Mom that Steve was pregnant? Did anyone know? Had Steve told Eddie? He stared at Steve, and then he whispered - "I'm going to help you Stevie.." Vinny leant down and he brushed his lips against Steve's temple, "I'm going to help you.." 

~***~

Eddie knew that Steve was with Vinny, he knew that the two of them had developed a friendship - probably because they were so close in age - Vinny was only two years younger than Steve. He had been helping River with building some of the new cabins on the compound as well as other jobs around the place. It gave him something to do - a distraction from the shit in his head. Stopped him from the chaotic thoughts. Wanting to .. go down the mountain and tear Kaj's throat out for one. He hadn't told Mischa about Steve being pregnant yet, mostly because of the fact that he just didn't know what was happening - was Steve going to stay with him? Was he going to leave?

He wasn't sure about anything anymore. Eddie felt like he was waiting for Steve to leave and not come back - he didn't want to hurt him again, he didn't want to lose control and cause more pain - and he knew that he could. That he could because he already had? River was watching him - the older man said suddenly, "Why don't you just go and find him huh?"  Eddie said quietly, "I.. will, later.." He stared down at the ground and River said with a laugh - "So you finally get him all to yourself, and then you don't know what to do with him?" 

"Fuck you Riv, I had him all to myself... I had him all to myself and then ... " He breathed out sharply, tears burning his eyes - and then Kaj turned up and it all went to shit. River dug the shovel into the ground, wiping his brow and then he placed his hand on Eddie's shoulder, "...Eddie, Ed's... look, " He gave his shoulder a squeeze "...This other guy? This.. Kay or whatever his name is?" He snorted, and Eddie let out a laugh, "It's like my but with a kah sound." He shook his head. River snorted again, "Whatever, the point is - Kaj who cares? Why should you worry about him - is it written in stone that his asshole is Steve's mate? You met him and knew him first.." 

Eddie let out a soft exhale, and River added - "He's.. more than that, he's your blood.." Eddie muttered softly - "Do you have to keep rubbing that in my face Riv." The older man just smirked and then grabbed a bottle of beer out of the cooler, and handed him one as well. "... Not my fault you fuck your own brother now is it?" He drawled and Eddie snorted, "Shut the fuck up Riv!" River laughed and unscrewed his beer, "... Well it's true, you're a weirdo - you.. know it... and I know it.." Eddie unscrewed his beer and took a swig - sighing softly.

"You could just learn to share.." River said with a smirk, "... You and Kay - could share him, and both have the slice of that sweet little thing." Eddie just stared at River - "What the hell is wrong with you?" He said darkly, "I'm not sharing him." River shrugged - "Would save a lot of heartache I'm just saying, you could share him - he would be happy, if you and Kay could just learn to get over yourselves.. and then he could have you both, he could have his family - one big happy fucking family right? And... that would be the end of the drama.." River gulped down more of his beer - and then he sighed wearily, "SAMUEL BLACKWATER! BOY DON'T MAKE ME WOOP YOU!" 

Eddie turned his head, and River muttered - "That boy I swear on the Moon, he's as dumb as a sack of bricks.." Eddie and River both started laughing - Sammy was running around trying to get away from some bees. "He's been down in that honey field again, I swear ... he's gonna get stung bad - I told him that many times not to go raiding the hives without suiting up - but does he listen? Nope.. dumbass.." Sammy was squealing as he ran up towards them. "Boy don't bring them bee's over here!" River yelled and Eddie laughed - Sammy squealed out, "Daddy! Daddy they're gonna get me!" River laughed and then he chased Sammy back in the direction that he came. 

Eddie shook his head, taking a swig of his beer - he saw Mischa standing with one of the other woman from the compound - and she waved him over to her - he walked over slowly - and she said, "I wanna talk to you Eddie.." Her voice was soft, she looked concerned and Eddie said - "What is it?" Mischa pulled him inside and she said - "Did you know that Stevie is pregnant?' He looked at her, and sighed - "Yes.." He murmured - she looked at him - "Why... didn't you say anything Ed's?" She curled her hand against his and he felt his eyes well up with tears - she murmured softly, "Because you're scared and you know that he doesn't want to keep it.. so you're too scared to even talk about it?"

He nodded, and then whispered - "He.. d-doesn't want my pup." His tears spilled down his face, and Eddie felt Mischa wrap her arms around him tightly. Eddie cried silently as he held onto her - he breathed out harshly, and Mischa stroked her fingers into his hair - "Have you talked with him at all?" She asked softly and Eddie whispered, "Not really no - because I don't .. know what to say. He got pregnant before everything went to shit. Before.. he slept with Kaj, before I lost it and.. h-hurt him."

Mischa murmured, "You losing it and hurting him - drove him into Kaj's arms further?" Eddie nodded yes and he whispered - "I.. did it and caused it and.. now he doesn't want my pup and he wants.. to be with him and maybe I should just let him g-go. Maybe I.. am the problem, maybe I always have been." Mischa gripped his face - her Wolf eyes blazing bright blue. "You are not weak brother, and you're not a fool. Don't bow out - and don't give up your mate, or your place because you think you don't deserve it." Eddie breathed out shakily his tears sliding down his face. "You've been fighting for sixteen years for Stevie.. sixteen years, are you really just going to give him up now?" Mischa asked.

Eddie whispered, "I might not have a choice Mischa.." She gently brushed his tears away - "He loves you Eddie, he loves you just as much as you love him - I can see it when he looks at you.. he loves you. Don't give up. Vinny said he's... frightened, he thinks he's bad for the pup, going to pollute it, hurt it... I don't think that necessarily comes from anything to do with you, we both know how much trauma Steven has had to endure, probably even more than we know. He hasn't had a lot in his life to know how to feel anything other than fear and when it comes to family? to Love? What does he have other than a broken home and trauma?"

Mischa said softly, ".. I know you didn't mean to hurt him, but that certainly wouldn't have helped. He is lost and he's afraid - Do you know he cuddled up and scented me immediately Eddie - you said he's autistic? That he doesn't know how to have contact with people? He had no trouble with me.. He wanted it. He's a sweet little thing.. I saw him this morning, all cuddled up with Vinny. Vinny is such a troubled kid Ed's.. he doesn't bond well with people either.. and yet the two of them? They've become best friends." 

Eddie smiled softly, and Mischa held his hands - "Don't.. lose hope, just because he says he doesn't want the pup - doesn't mean that is true.. he's young, he's scared - he needs to feel safe Eddie. And he also needs comfort. For someone that has only ever known trauma.. and pain? He needs it even more. And I'm sorry to say this.. but, you may need to let him go. If you genuinely do love him - and it isn't going to work with you? You may need to let him go and be with his family.. and be happy." Mischa gently cupped his face, "I know that you don't want to hear me say that Eddie, I know you don't.. but.. I'm sorry I have to say it too you."

Tears slid down his face and he closed his eyes tightly, he whispered - "I.. can't, I can't.. without him." Mischa said softly, "You've lived sixteen years without him Eddie - to let him be happy.. you can do anything, you're strong enough to do it... but do you think that he is?"

He just stared at her, and she whispered - "There's your answer little brother - if you love him, and you want him to be happy - and that isn't with you? Let him go."

~***~

Steve had gone back to the cabin he was sharing with Eddie - he had spent a little bit of time with some of the others living at the compound - some of the other women, and the little kids. He had eaten lunch with them outside, Vinny had actually caught some bunnies and one of the woman had fried it up - coated in breading and herbs. They'd had it with salad and fried potatoes. It had been delicious. But then Steve got really tired - and he also felt a little bit nauseas, one of the other women had pulled him aside, asking him softly if he was "with pup" - and then she'd given him some herbal tea for morning sickness. Even thought it wasn't morning anymore.

Turned out it didn't have to be morning. He was also now officially nine-weeks pregnant, so there was that. Steve was laying in the bed, cold again and tired - and feeling miserable because he felt sick. He missed Robin, he bit down on his fingers - tears blurring his vision. Steve heard the door open, and then shut and he wiped at his face - he lifted himself up and he tried to ignore the way his heart beat a little faster at the sight of Eddie. He was a little dirty, and sweaty - his face all flushed from working outside - eyes bright, and a little bit teary? Steve really didn't like seeing Eddie upset. 

He smelt like his usual musky, sweet scent - mixed with a little sweat, and Steve liked it. He felt an intense ache, deep in his bones - Steve loved him so much, he dug his fingers into the blankets on top of the bed, and Eddie said softly "Hello my Darling.. hmm my sweet boy, are you alright?" That sweet lilt to Eddie's voice, the huskiness made Steve whimper softly, "I missed you.." Tears spilt down his face before he could stop them, and Steve? He genuinely had missed him - he didn't feel frightened of Eddie, he just ached and missed him - and wanted him to hold him. 

Eddie murmured softly, "My sweet Boy.." He moved in closer, and Steve rose up to his knees and slid his arms around Eddie - pressing in close and nuzzling his face, scenting Eddie. The older man let out a soft little chuckle, "I'm all dirty, sweaty.." He said softly, as he tangled his fingers into Steve's hair, and Steve whispered - "I don't care about that Eddie.. I don't care, you smell good to me.." He licked against Eddie's skin, and scented him more - rubbing his face and Eddie let out a soft, little rumbling growl in his throat. He murmured softly, "You don't care if I'm all sweaty and smelly?"

Steve whispered, "No.. no I don't care Eddie.." He lifted his head, and stared at Eddie from under his lashes - Eddie gently gripped his chin, wiping his tears away and he said softly, "Are you crying because you missed me my darling boy?" Steve nodded yes, and then he kissed Eddie softly - "Missed you.." He whispered again, "Missed you so much Eddie, I... I'm so ...scared." He breathed out shakily, and Eddie said softly, "Scared of me?" Steve whimpered softly, "I..d-don't know, no?" He changed his mind, "No.. I don't think so.."

Eddie whispered, "Scared.. of what my sweet boy, hmm? Tell me.." He sat down on the bed, and then he pulled Steve into his lap - Steve whimpered softly, and curled his body into Eddie's - "Scared of everything else, scared...of.. hurting you, hurting... Kaj.. they.. they won't understand, nobody will understand if I... want to be with you, they won't ...like it.. won't want me to be with you.." Steve sobbed softly, "I... n-need you, I need you Eddie, I love you..." His voice was so soft, almost inaudible and he whispered - "I'll die without you.." 

Eddie cradled Steve's head and he whispered, "You'll die without me?" Steve stared at Eddie, and he whispered - "..I don't want to live, without you... I.. don't want too.." Eddie just stared back at him - and he whispered, "I don't want to live without you either..." Steve's breath came out all shaky, and he whispered - "If you... died, if you... left me... if you.. I couldn't.. I..." He sobbed harder and Eddie whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not... not going to leave you my sweet Boy, my darling I promise.." He was crying too and Steve whispered shakily, "I... I'm scared Eddie, I'm scared to... have this... pup.. I won't be good.. for it.. I'll.. hurt it.. make it bad like m-me.." 

"No... no you're not bad my sweet boy." Eddie whispered, he shifted Steve in his lap - cradling him in his arms, he kissed him slowly - deeply and murmured, "You're beautiful and sweet - you'll be a good Mama.. you love your pack, you love them don't you?" Steve nodded yes, and Eddie whispered - "You want to take care of them? You'll be like that with our pup, take care of it, love it... it will feel so good, you won't feel bad Sweetheart, my darling.." Steve whimpered softly, "I.. don't know how to love it.. I will hurt it.. break it.." 

Eddie murmured softly, "Nonsense.. You do know how to love, and how to take care of someone.. You're going to be a good Mama, and.. you'll figure it out.. we.. both can figure it out together? I've never been a Daddy before either.. but.. we're going to figure it out together hmm?" He cradled Steve's face and whispered, "You and me? Together, with our sweet little Pup?" Steve breathed out softly, he felt that ache - the ache got stronger and more intense, and he whimpered softly - "You.. you want me and our p-pup? You.. don't want to h-hurt me?" Tears spilt down Eddie's face and he said hoarsely, "I do, I do want you and our pup, I never meant to hurt you my sweet boy - I'm... so sorry Stevie, I lost control .. I lost control and I... I'm so sorry.." 

"You.. tried to shoot me.." Steve whispered, "Tried.. to kill me.." Eddie whispered, "I know... I know I did - I.. was being cruel, and jealous.." He whispered against Steve's mouth, "I didn't want to live without you, and I didn't want him to h-have you either.." Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth, "I...love you."

Eddie whispered back shakily, "I love you too... my beautiful sweet boy." He stroked his fingers against Steve's face - and then he whispered, "You...love him too.. don't you?" Steve breathed out shakily, more tears sliding down his face - and he whispered, "Yes...but I won't give you up Eddie... I won't give you up.." Eddie's fingers were shaking, and he whispered - "Y-you don't want to give me up?" Steve nodded and he whispered, "... I can't. give... you up. I.. won't." He breathed out shakily, his eyes fluttering closed.

"...What are you saying Steven." Eddie murmured softly, "...What.. are you saying to me?"

Steve whispered, "I'll give everything else up to be with you."

Eddie just stared down at him - at his Beautiful sweet boy. He realized just how much Steve loved him. It didn't really matter about Kaj in that moment. Not really. It was about everything else. That Steve was prepared to give up everything else. His connection to his friends, his new pack - his Family. For him? Did Eddie deserve that? After everything he had done to him? He let out a soft breath, and he stroked his fingers against Steve's face. Mischa's words played over in his head - that he had lived sixteen years without Steve, he'd endured it and survived it. Steve was young, he had a chance to have a long and happy life. Without him yes - but he had a real chance at happiness. 

If Eddie kept him from having that chance? Then he really truly would be a monster. 

"Stevie?" Eddie said softly, he gently gripped Steve's chin and Steve looked at him. He breathed out slowly - his voice soft, and he was surprisingly calm - even though he felt like inside he was full of raging emotions. "I... love you, I've loved you for so long.." He said softly, "I'll always.. love you."

Steve just stared up at him, tears welling up in his eyes - and Eddie breathed out slowly, he knew he had to do it. He had too, even if it killed him.

"...I'll love you forever." He whispered. Eddie had tears sliding down his face - but he didn't even notice them.

Steve said softly, "I.. love you too Eddie.." He bit his lip - and Eddie murmured softly, "I.. want you to go and find Vinny, and then get him to take you back. Go... and be with your family, with Robin and Jonathan.. and.. your family." He let his eyes close, and Eddie whispered - "Go be with ..Kaj. Go and be happy Stevie. They can give you that. Give you everything that you deserve. Love.. and happiness. You can have a family...I.. have only hurt you and brought you more pain and I don't want to do that to you anymore. I'm so sorry. I... love you, but I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't let you give up your chance for happiness. You.. told Vinny you.. didn't want to have this pup.."

Steve let out a shaky breath, his fingers tightened against Eddie's shirt - 

"...If you make that choice, I.. will understand." Eddie whispered - "I.. will understand Stevie." Tears spilled down his face and Eddie gently moved Steve from his lap. "You.. need to go back to your family. Don't.. stay with m-me... I'm.. not good for you, you're.. right about that. I.. I've never been good for you.." 

Steve said tearfully, "You.. don't want me to be with y-you?" He looked at Eddie, so much pain in his face - confusion, "...You.. d-don't want me? You.. c-changed your mind?" Tears spilled down his face and Steve let out a shaky sob, "...I... I don't u-understand.. what? Why are you saying this?"

Eddie said softly, "Because you love him.. and he's better for you than I am.." He wiped his face - "You can be happy, have your family - your pack... be with Kaj. You are young, you can.. have a future Stevie.. one that isn't filled with sadness or pain.. a real chance to be free.. I've always wanted that for you, I just... never thought it meant it was with someone else.." He stepped back, and whispered - "But... it.. is."

Steve breathed out shakily, and he whispered tearfully - "Dee.. Eddie,..." 

"I'm going to go and find Vinny, and get him to take you back.." Eddie said quietly, he had tears streaming down his face - he stepped in closer, gave Steve a deep - slow, passionate kiss and he whispered against Steve's mouth, "I'll always love you... always, but I love you enough to realize that all I've ever done is hold you prisoner, I'm not going to do that to you anymore... I'm letting you be free like I promised you.."

Steve sobbed out - "I... no! No come back!" He sobbed as Eddie left the cabin - "No! NO EDDIE! EDDIE COME BACK!" 

Eddie was crying as he left the cabin, hearing Steve sobbing, screaming for him to come back? He felt like his heart was being torn out of his chest - he went to Vinny's cabin - and said hoarsely, "Please take him home... take him home Vinny?" The younger man had tears in his eyes - they could both hear Steve screaming from the cabin. "What are you doing Eddie?" Vinny said softly, and Eddie said quietly, "Doing what I should have done .. I'm letting him go.." Vinny watched as his Uncle moved to the edge of the woods - he disappeared into the treeline - he saw Eddie shift into his fur - and then he disappeared. Vinny realized that Eddie didn't want to live in his skin, not if it meant living without Steve.

Eddie was going to live Wild. And Vinny? He had to take Steve back down the mountain to his family - and it didn't really seem like Steve wanted to go anymore.

Chapter Text

Steve got out of the car, and Vinny said softly - "Do.. you want me to come with you?" Steve nodded, but he didn't speak - he couldn't seem to find his voice. Vinny curled his fingers through Steve's and he said softly - "Are you going to be okay?" Steve didn't say anything and Vinny murmured - "I'm sorry, its a stupid fucking question." They walked up the little footpath, opening the gate - and Issy said, "Holy shit! HOLY SHIT!" He practically threw himself down the stairs, yelling out - "Grammy!" His voice turning into a squeaky mess, (because his voice was dropping) and then he threw his arms around Steve, holding him tightly, whilst eyeing Vinny. "Stevie my homie.. my bro.." He said shakily, and Steve curled his arms around Issac but he didn't really say anything. "Dude.."

From the house, Missy and Lyrena appeared - and then Robin, Vicky and Jonathan. Followed by Ghost and Michael. 

"Oh my moon!" Lyrena was pulling him in, sobbing as she cradled his face - and Steve started to cry then, hiding his face against her chest. Missy looked at Vinny, and she said quietly - "Who might you be ay?" Vinny said softly, "I'm Vinny... nice to meet you Ma'ashate.." (Grandmother) Missy's eyes twinkled, and she said softly - "Oh.. nice to meet you too Vinny.." She gave him a smile, Robin threw her arms around Steve and Lyrena - and Steve whispered, "Hi.." He had tears streaming down his face, and Missy said softly - "Hello my grandson.." She pulled Steve into a hug, and Steve cuddled her - "Let's get inside hmm?"

She looked at Vinny, "You too.. I think you have some stories to tell us don't you ey?" Vinny pushed his hair out of his face - Missy didn't miss the fact that Steve curled his fingers back through Vinny's and the two of them sat together on the sofa. Steve didn't look well to Missy, he was pale - had dark circles under his eyes. He was in pain, and he was hurting - she also knew? That this was a new onset of pain. It was connected to this Eddie fella. Steve was still in love with him. Probably had never stopped. Missy said softly, "My grandson, you look tired."

Steve said softly, "Yeah I.. didn't sleep last night.." His eyes were so lost, so sad - Missy softly kissed his temple, and she murmured - "I'll go and wake up Blue eyes.." Steve's scent was full of all kinds of emotions, Missy said softly - "He's been missing you bad." She looked at Vincent, "This one been taking care of you Stevie?" Steve nodded and he smiled softly, "My cousin.." He blushed and then whispered, "My.. family, Vinny.. helped me.. helped me find my center.. even though.." Tears spilled down Steve's face and he closed his eyes, pain washing over his face - and Vinny looked like his heart was breaking too. Missy took his hand, and then she saw the tattoo on Steve's wrist. 

"...Your mark? How'd you..." She asked but then she looked at Vinny, who just stared at her - he'd already called her Grandmother in Mescalito - where had this boy come from? "Do you live up on the compound boy?" She asked him, and he nodded - "Who are you?" She said and Vinny said softly, "I'm Vincent Blackwater." Missy smiled, her eyes full of twinkly mischief - and Lyrena said softly, "River's son?" Vinny nodded - and Missy said, "Eyo... Course you are..." She looked at Lyrena, "Got his.. eyes aye.." Lyrena smiled, and then she nodded - she came and sat beside Vinny and Steve. 

Missy left the room, and Steve breathed out softly - he said to Vinny, "Come sit down over.. here.. Vinny, this is my Mama Lyrena." Lyrena gently stroked Vinny's cheek - the younger man got all shy and she said softly, "Your Daddy and me are cousins.." He said softly, "I know.." Steve said softly, "This is my cousin Issy, aka the little shit.." Issy fist bumped Vinny - and Vinny smiled, "He kind of reminds me of Sammy - only Sammy's a dumbass.." Steve laughed softly, and then Issy said - "Well Grammy says I'm a dumbass too.." He smirked and shrugged.

"This is my baby sister Robin, also my sunshine girl.." Steve said softly, his eyes welling up and Robin said tearfully - "I'm so happy your safe, that youre okay Stevie.." They hugged each other tightly and Steve let out a sob as she hugged him, they held each other and Steve kissed her face softly - then he whispered. "This is Robbie's mate, and my other sister Vicky." Vicky hugged him too and said softly, "We've missed you so much." She stroked his tears away, and then she held Vinny's hand - "Nice to meet you sweetie." Vinny smiled and he said softly - "It's nice to meet you too."

"This is Jonathan, my best friend.. and little brother even though he's older than me." Steve said softly and then he laughed - Jonathan threw his arms around Steve and he didn't say anything, he just held him tight and Steve hugged him back. They stayed like that for a long time, till Jonathan pulled back slowly - and then he kissed Steve's forehead - "You gave me back my big brother too.." Jonathan said softly, he had tears in his eyes, and he was holding Ghost's hand. 

Steve said to Vinny, "And these two are Ghost - Jonathan's older brother, and one of my best friends.. and his husband - and look at him - ugh.. that face.." Steve laughed softly tears in his eyes. "This is Michael... they're my oldest friends but.. two that helped me when I had nowhere to go.." His tears slid down his face, and Ghost moved in closer - he knelt down bringing Michael with him and he whispered, "You're okay Stevie?" He stroked his fingers feather light over Steve's face, and whispered - "Your safe.."

Steve nodded yes, and Ghost kissed him on the lips softly. Steve slid his arms around him and buried his face in against his neck - Michael said softly to Vinny, "Nice to meet you - glad your brought him home.." Vinny gave Michael a nod, and then he said quietly - so everyone heard him. "Eddie asked me to bring him back." 

Everyone was surprised by that. But from the doorway - probably the most surprised was Kaj. 

"Stevie? Du er her, lille ulv. Er du virkelig her?" (you're here little wolf.  you are really here?) Kaj's voice was wrecked, raw with emotion - and he was crying immediately. Steve was assaulted by his scent, heady and deep and full of everything - Steve's was the same, and he just breathed out in a rush of breath, nobody said anything at all - as Kaj moved in closer and the pulled Steve up into his arms - up off the couch and Steve curled himself around Kaj and held on.

"Jeg er her. Jeg er tilbage." Steve said tearfully, (I'm here. I'm back) Nobody knew what they were saying - but everyone could smell their scent - feel the raw emotion. Kaj let out a deep rumbling growl - that made everyone shiver, made their wolves react - and Vinny just stared up at Steve and Kaj. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting with Kaj? Steve hadn't  given too much away about him - but now that he saw them together? He understood why Steve was so conflicted. Because Kaj had instantly soothed Steve's emotions - he wasn't giving off the same anxiety anymore, the same stress in his scent. 

Steve was all curled into Kaj, and so quiet. So still. He let out a soft little rumble in his chest in reply to Kaj - and it seemed to settle everyone in the room. Kaj's eyes were a vibrant shade of blue - bluest eyes that Vinny had ever seen in his life. They landed on him - and Vinny just stared at him. "Who are you?" Kaj's accent was thick - heavy and lilting, but also had a slight American tinge to it. Different to his Mom and Uncle Eddie. Lyrena said softly, "This is Vinny - he's River Blackwaters son, he's our cousin.. family, pack.."

Vinny got a strange tightness in his belly - his eyes glowed pink, and Lyrena's were golden, not as Gold and vibrant as Steve's - but she had called him Pack, Family - tears welled up in his eyes and he breathed out shakily. Kaj cradled Steve in against his body, and Steve whispered - "He's.. been good to me Kaj, helped me.. taken care of me..." Steve let out a shaky exhale, and then he was hiding his face - sobbing harsh broken sobs - and Kaj turned his gaze from Vinny, and then he said huskily, "Lille ulv, don't cry... it's okay now - you're home." Steve clung tighter - but then he slid down, and he was shaking almost violently - he looked at Vinny, his eyes huge - full of fear and Vinny said softly, "It's okay Stevie.."

Everyone, including Kaj - watched as Steve sobbed and then climbed into Vinny's lap, hiding his face and clinging to him. Vinny felt the heat in his face - and he lowered his gaze, whispering, "It's okay, it's okay, don't be frightened.." Steve sobbed and clung to him, and Kaj? He sat down right beside him - "You.. brought him back? How, why... he asked you to bring him back?" Everyone was staring at him and Vinny let out a shaky breath, he felt Steve curl his fingers against his head and he nodded yes. 

"Uncle Eddie.. he.." Vinny started to say - "Uncle Eddie? You're his nephew?" Kaj stared at him - "Wait.. I.. thought you said he was a Blackwater?" He asked, looking at Lyrena - and Lyrena nodded - "He is.." Vinny said softly, "Eddie is my Uncle.. his sister is my Mom..." Lyrena was watching him from under her lashes, and Kaj let out a heavy breath - "Eddie has a sister? Huh.. okay.." Robin said - "So.. why did he ask you to bring him back, when he took Stevie in the first place?" 

Steve said hoarsely, "Because he doesn't love me anymore." 

Vinny felt the heat in his face - and he said softly - "...I.. don't.. know he didn't tell me that, he just.. asked me to bring him back. But.. I mean I tried to get Stevie out.. earlier we ran away together, I.. helped him.. Dreamwalk.. to .. find his memories.." Lyrena glanced at Missy, who smiled softly - "You can Dreamwalk?" Kaj asked him, Vinny nodded - "Yeah.. but I'm not that good at it... Stevie Dreamwalked for two days..." He slid his fingers into Steve's hair, Steve was just quiet against him - breathing out softly as he curled his fingers - and then Steve said softly, "I have... my memories back.." He shifted - not looking at anyone, but he kept his fingers interlaced with Vinny's - not letting go of his hand. 

"You.. have your memories back Baby?" Kaj asked softly, and Vinny watched as Steve lifted his gaze and just stared at the older man. He nodded yes - and Kaj gently stroked Steve's hair out of his face - "..Does it feel good to have them back?"

Steve said softly, "Yes... and no.." The two of them were just staring at each other - everyone was so quiet, and Steve lowered his gaze again. Vinny said softly - "...I knew that Stevie is Shar.. my mom has this crazy idea that Stevie can.. reunite everyone.." He stroked his fingers into Steve's hair and Steve looked at him, everyone watching as Steve gently stroked Vinny's face - but Steve was crying again. Steve let out a soft exhale, and Michael said quietly - "Did he hurt you again Stevie? Are you... are you okay Baby boy?"

Steve looked at Michael, and he nodded - "I'm okay... He didn't hurt me.." 

Kaj knew - he knew just watching Steve's face, he knew that Steve was so deeply in love with Eddie - maybe even more than he had been before all this shit ever happened. And yet? He also knew that Steve was still in love with him as well. 

Steve stared at him, and Kaj stared back.

"Why did he let you go - ask Vinny to bring you back? We know he's crazy.." Jonathan said suddenly, and Steve's eyes filled up with tears - he said hoarsely, "Don't! Please don't say that.. I know.. I know what he did, I know you all hate him.. I know that you all think I should hate him too, that I should stay a-away from him. But you don't know.. you don't know so please just s-stop! Don't say things about him because I don't want to hear it.. I don't want too!" Steve sobbed and then he curled into Vinny again and hid his face. 

Vinny said softly, "...It's okay Stevie." 

Steve sobbed out harshly "N-no.. no it isn't... because everything is a mess... a fucking mess.... I.. can't breathe.. I can't breathe.." 

Kaj suddenly scooped Steve up into his arms again, and he said softly to Vinny - "Thank you for bringing him home, please don't leave - I'd like to talk to you later? But.. for now.. I need too.." He held Steve close, and he said softly - "Hush now lille ulv, it's okay.." Steve clung to Kaj and sobbed against his neck - and Kaj said softly - "...Please stay Ja?"

Vinny said softly, "Yes - Ja, okay." Kaj gave him a little smile - and then a nod, and he murmured - "Okay... good." He carried Steve out of the room - and Lyrena said softly, "Let's all have some food hmm? Are you hungry Vinny, you look hungry Baby.." Missy muttered darkly, "You just wanna feed him that bullshit Tofu loaf.." Vinny let out a soft laugh, and Missy grinned at him - "Stevie said its delicious?" Lyrena giggled and said, "See Grammy... Stevie likes it.." Missy snorted and muttered, "Damn Kookoo bird." They all made their way into the kitchen, and Robin said softly - "Vinny?" He looked at her and said, "Hi.." She interlaced their fingers, and said softly - "Hi.. thank you for taking care of him." 

He smiled softly, "It.. I mean I wanted too.. I.. really kinda of love him ya know? I've become attached." He laughed softly, and Lyrena smiled - "It's not hard to become attached is it Baby?" She said softly, and then she curled her arm around him and gently stroked his hair - Vinny let out a soft little breath, and he murmured -"Yeah.. no, I mean no it's not.. hard to.. uh.. become.." He just kind of stared at her and she said softly, "Are you okay?" He nodded and said softly, "Yeah... yeah I'm okay, I'm sorry.. shit.." He let out a soft laugh, heat in his face and she smiled - Vinny thought - Holy moon she's gorgeous. 

"You wanna come and sit by me Sugar?" Lyrena said softly, her cheeks were pink and Vinny murmured softly - "Yeah.. I'd.. like that." 

"I bet you would." Missy said with a cheeky twinkle in her eyes - She was cooking up some Steaks, Jonathan and Ghost helping her too cook - "Jon Baby, hand Grammy that bacon." Jonathan did - and Michael said - "Vinny, I like your haircut.." He laughed - "You do? Everyone up at the compound thinks its stupid.." Vinny scratched at his shaved side, and then he shrugged - "It's bitchin.." Michael told him giving him a wink and Vicky laughed softly, "You should grow it out longer. but keep the underneath shaved - like Kaj's. Its sexy - suits you."

"You guys are really awesome, and nice - no wonder Stevie loves you and missed you so much." He said softly, and everyone was talking over the top of each other. Jonathan said, "We love and missed him too, .. we were so worried about him.." Vinny said softly, "Well.. all I can tell you is that.. I know my Uncle is a super intense guy, but.. he didn't hurt him - and um.. Stevie got really upset when Eddie made the call and asked me to bring him home. I.. think it really hurt him." Everyone was quiet, and beside him - Lyrena said softly, "Do you know what he did to Stevie before he took him?"

Vinny said softly, "Not all the details, but Stevie said he hurt him badly.. really bad.. and that he tried to shoot him.. tried to kill him." Lyrena nodded - and she whispered, "...Eddie is bad for him." Vinny just stared at her quietly, and then he leaned in, and he whispered - "But.. they love each other Lyrena, they're enterwined.. Stevie is scared to death of disappointing all of you, and now he's heart is hurting all over again.. because Eddie told him he won't make him choose is family over him.. he wants him to be here with all of you- but he's... still frightened, he is frightened of the pup in his belly."

Lyrena just stared back at him - the everyone was quietly watching the two of them - they could hear what Vinny had whispered - (because of their wolf ears) But it was like Vinny and Lyrena were in their own little world alone together. "He's afraid of the pup?" Lyrena whispered back, and Vinny nodded - "He's afraid he's going to be a bad Mama.." He whispered - "You know what he asked me to help him do.. don't you.." He didn't have to tell her, tears slid down her face and she whispered - "Did you take him to do that?" Vinny shook his head, and he whispered - "No... no I took him home, Mama and I took him home." She breathed out softly, and whispered - "...You helped him find himself, and then you took him back home to keep him safe... and then Eddie saw sense.. and you brought him back.."

Vinny nodded - and Lyrena gently stroked his face - making Vinny shiver - she softly brushed her lips against his and whispered, "I want you to tell your Mama thank you too, will you do that for me Baby?" Vinny nodded yes, and he said huskily, "Yeah.. yeah I'll do that Lyrena.." It was like everyone else didn't really exist anymore - it was just the two of them, her scent was so intoxicating - it curled all around him, warm and sweet, her eyes pulling him in - everything about her pulling him in and she said softly, "Will.. you come and visit again Vinny?"

"Yeah.. yeah, would you like that?" He murmured softly, she was still stroking his face - and without thinking about it too much - he touched her hair, it was soft - and silky - and there was a cough - they both blinked slowly, and Missy said with a laugh, "When you're both finished making moon eyes at each other? The food is getting cold hey.." Vinny turned bright red - and Lyrena blushed too, she let out a soft laugh, and Missy smirked - everyone was talking, and enjoying the food - and Missy gave him a soft little smile, and then a wink - "Sometimes you find your road where you're meant to be on when you least expect it huh.." She said softly, and Vinny bit into his piece of steak.

"Think the road finds us Ma'ashate.." Vinny said softly, (grandmother) 

"It sure found you hmm? Where did you learn how to speak our language? Did your Dad teach you?" She was eating piece of fried potato - and Vinny shook his head, "No Nanny, I just.. know how to speak it." He shrugged, and Lyrena was looking at him again, from under her lashes. Missy said - "So.. you speak our language an you can Dream walk huh. And you helped Shar to find himself. Herself - the Self. What you know what I'm saying." She waved her hand and Vinny let out a soft little laugh, "I.. yeah. I guess so I didn't think about that.."

"You got good medicine, hmm? Powerful, Strong.. Must be because your parents are both Shaman - but I think you're more powerful than them. You got the ancient wisdom." Missy said softly, and she smiled - her eyes twinkly. "Not many can dream walk - not even the Elders, we know Stevie can do it he told us before. But.. you taught yourself?" Vinny nodded, "Yeah.. reading a book."

Lyrena said softly, "Reading a book Baby?" Between them, their fingers brushed and Vinny said softly - "Yeah.. my friend in Arizona - had.. this old book? It had .. it was full of.. stuff language and symbols.. I could read it.." Missy said - ".. Who was this friend? What was their name?" Vinny and Lyrena were both just sitting there staring at each other - and Vinny felt her put his hand in her lap under the table. He looked at Missy, "My...friends name was Tonka Rainleaf?" 

Missy nodded, "Hmmm that's Jacobs grandson.. he's your cousin Lyrena.. yours too Vinny - through your Father.. but nobody has ever been able to read that book. Hah! Cept probably Stevie could - you.. there is a legend that says Shar and the Father Wolf had a pup - he was a powerful dark sorcerer a shaman called Far'saesh Elk Brother. He was betrothed to  beautiful princess another Wolf from another tribe.. but when Shar got cast into the fell - Ao killed him and sent him to the never.. Shar's heart was broken because her son was lost.."

Tears were sliding down his face and he whispered - "That's... so sad.." Missy said softly - "I'm saying you are the Elk Brother - you were born into this life - but once... once you were Shar's son. Shar and Father wolf." She said quietly, "Rena.." Lyrena whispered, "Yeah Grammy?" She wiped her face - and Missy said softly, "You okay my girl?" Lyrena breathed out shakily, "Yes.. Grammy I'm okay.." She smiled, and everyone was talking again, Vinny held Lyrena's hand tighter and she let out a soft exhale. He gently stroked his fingers over her wrist - and then she said softly, "I.. need  a little fresh air, I.. feel a bit.. dizzy.." She said softly, "It is it hot in here?" Vinny stood up at the same time she did - and Missy was all amused again, "Do.. you want me to .." He said - and Lyrena murmured softly, "Come with me? Yeah.. if you want too Sugar.." She smiled softly, and Vinny blushed - "Yeah? Yeah.. okay.." 

They left the kitchen together and Jonathan said with a soft laugh - "Its not my imagination right? They're totally into each other.." Missy said dryly, "They're obsessed - did you see them? They only have eyes for each other... bit like you and Issy Jonny.." She smirked as Jonathan turned bright red and Issy grinned, "Hmm my sweet Jon Jon.." He growled at Jonathan and Ghost laughed - "Aww look at him blushing." Everyone laughed softly and Missy looked at Issy, "...You're sixteen you dirty little shit, stop thinking about knocking him up!"

"Oh my moon! SHUT UP GRANNY!" Issy groaned, hiding his face against Jonathan's shoulder. 

~***~

Kaj was quiet as he laid them both down on the bed, he slid his fingers into Steve's hair and then he murmured softly - "...Stevie.." Steve breathed out shakily and he whispered - "I... I'm sorry Kaj.." Tears slid down his face, and Kaj pressed in closer - he murmured, "Why are you sorry Lille ulv?" Steve breathed out harshly, "...Because I..." He kept his eyes closed as Kay moved over him - not wanting to look at Kaj, to hurt him. "Because you still love him? Because ...you were with him, while you were away?" Kaj said softly, "His scent is all over you.. I.. know you love him Stevie, I know you love him even though he hurt you that he's bad.. I know all of this, and I still love you anyway.." 

Steve opened his eyes, tears slid down his face and he whispered shakily - "Y-you do? Why... why do you love me anyway?" He breathed out harshly, and Kaj murmured softly - "Because I don't care about any of that shit.. I just care about you, care that you are safe - that you're here. I'm sorry that you're in pain.." He whispered it and Steve said tearfully, "Why are you so good to me.. why aren't you angry, why don't you h-hate me..." 

Kaj cradled Steve's face, "I could never hate you - I love you. I can't be angry with you because I don't care Stevie, I don't care if you love him - I don't care if you.. were with him, I ...just.." He whispered, "Do you still love me?" Steve whimpered softly, "Yes I still love you, I just don't want to hurt you I'm so s-" Kaj brushed his fingers against Steve's mouth, "Stop.." He murmured softly, "You love me, and I love you... yes?" Steve nodded, his eyes full of tears. 

"You're not hurting me okay? You're home now, you're here. You're safe. I don't care about anything else, just that you're here and you're safe - that you love me, and I love you. We are here with our family, our pack.. I can take care of you.." Kaj murmured softly, "I love you Stevie, my lille ulv.." Steve whispered tearfully, "I... l-love you too.." He let out a soft sob as Kaj pulled him flush into his body and curled himself around him, "I.. I love you too.." Steve said again, closing his eyes tightly - he really did love Kaj, but at the same time - he was so heartbroken, devastated about Eddie sending him away. And Steve didn't now what to do about that, how.. to handle it. 

Kaj slid his fingers into Steve's hair and he said softly, "...You're hurt because he hurt your heart." Steve let out a sob, and Kaj cradled his head - just staring down at him, "You..didn't want to come back, you ..wanted to stay with him.." Kaj whispered it and Steve nodded yes, tears slid down his face - "Even though you love me, love your family - you... love him so much.. don't you lille ulv.." Steve nodded yes again, and Kaj murmured softly - "And he loves you just as much, just as much that he made you come home... to be with me, and to be with your family... he knows you're better off with us.."

Steve let out a sob and he nodded yes - Kaj nuzzled his face - scenting him and kissing away his tears, "Maybe he's not such a monster, he did the right thing.. he did the right thing for You. Lille ulv... He did the right thing for you at long last.." Kaj whispered, an Steve sobbed harder - hiding his face, because it didn't feel like the right thing to him, no matter how much he loved Kaj.

It didn't feel right to Steve. He felt wrong inside, wrong and broken. 

Like part of him was missing. 

Steve breathed out shakily, and Kaj said softly - "...You.. can be happy Stevie, like I told you... we can be happy. I can take care of you.. protect you. Love you.. I promise.." Steve breathed out shakily, he knew that Kaj could, and would - he knew that it was true. He just knew, that it hurt - that he hurt. "I... know that you're hurting too, and... I know it's going to hurt for a while, but I will do everything I can to make you happy Stevie, to give you everything you want.. to.. give you everything you deserve." 

Kaj gently gripped his chin, and Steve looked at him - breathing out shakily, tears slid down his face - and Kaj whispered - "Do you still want me too?" 

Steve nodded yes, and he curled himself into Kaj and whispered shakily - "I... I'm sorry.." Kaj murmured, "You don't have to be sorry... okay? No more sorry, just let me love you - let me take care of you." Steve breathed out softly, and he whispered, "You're...not mad..." Kaj whispered, "No Baby, my sweet little wolf - I'm not mad, give me a kiss?" Steve kissed Kaj softly, and then they deepened it - kissing slowly, Kaj's tongue sliding into his mouth and he rolled over Steve - whispering, "I..love you."

"I love you too Kaj.." Steve whispered back, he let out a soft exhale - and then he said shakily, "I'm.. having his pup.." It came out all shaky, and Kaj murmured - "I know you are.. he wrote me a letter.. and told me." Steve breathed out shakily, tears sliding down his face again - and he turned his head away, biting down on his fingers. Kaj took Steve's hand, and he whispered - "Are you not happy?" Steve's eyes closed tightly, and he breathed out in a rush - his scent heady with fear. 

"Sweet little Ulv... Why are you frightened.." Kaj murmured softly, brushing his lips against Steve's jaw - then he whispered against his ear - "Is it because you think I would be mad? I.. will love you, and love this pup as if it were my own... I'm not angry, or upset.." Steve let out a shaky breath and he whispered, "I... knew, knew you would say that.." He bit his lip, staring at the wall - and then he said tearfully "I... don't know if I.. can do it Kaj.." 

Kaj frowned and he said softly, "I.. don't, what do you mean? Do what?" He gently stroked his fingers against Steve's face.

"I.. don't know if I.. want.. to have this pup." Steve whispered, almost inaudibly and Kaj breathed out sharply - "You... don't want it?" He sat up, looking down at Steve - Steve just stared at the wall, and Kaj said quietly, "... It isn't even mine and I want it.. how could you say something like that Stevie.." Steve breathed out shakily, tears burning his eyes. "You love him, you love him but you don't want his pup in your belly? What... if it was mine? Would you.. want it if it was mine?" Kaj said quietly.

"I...don't.. know." Steve whispered tearfully, "I... don't know if I want to have a pup.. I don't know if I ever want to have one.." Kaj just stared at him - Steve knew he was, but he couldn't bring himself to look at him, Kaj whispered quietly - "I.. I'm going to.. go get some air for a little bit.. okay?" He leaned in and kissed Steve's cheek softly, and Steve closed his eyes tightly - when he was alone? Steve buried his face in his pillow - because he knew, he knew that even though Kaj didn't say it, Kaj thought he was a monster - he thought he was a monster because he didn't want to have a pup. 

He thought he was a monster because he said he didn't think he ever wanted too. 

Kaj wanted a family, and Steve? He wasn't sure he could do that. 

Steve sobbed into his pillow - he didn't feel connected to Kaj right then - he felt a million miles away. And the little voice inside him? Just kept whispering 

I miss you Eddie, I miss you so much... I need you.

Chapter Text

Steve breathed out shakily, tears blurred his vision and he kept his face hidden. "You can't do it.. I won't let you." Kaj said calmly - his voice firm. "I'm not going to let you do it Stevie, you can't do you hear me? You can't do it.." He had his back to Kaj, and Steve felt sick - they had hardly spoken to each other since he'd gotten back, he'd been back for three days now.

Things were tense, and every time they were alone - the conversation, or Kaj - would start talking about it again. The Pup, and Steve didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about it and he was sick of it - sick of talking. He was sick of hearing Kaj talk about it. It isn't his choice to make.

He'd holed himself up in the bedroom alone, hiding out - not wanting to see or speak to anyone. Robin had come in and curled up with him, the two of them falling asleep together - but Steve felt a million miles away from everyone and everything and he was just in so much pain. 

He couldn't sleep properly - and when he'd curled up with Robin? It was the most sleep he'd had since he got there. He missed Vinny, who had gone back to the compound - Steve wasn't eating, he wasn't showering - he wasn't getting out of bed. He just laid there staring into space.

"You can't do it.." Kaj said again, "You need to get up, c'mon.." He was tugging at the blankets, and Steve muttered - "Leave me alone... get.. stop it!" He said with a frustrated sob, "Stop! Stop it!" Kaj growled at him, "Get up Stevie, what are you doing!" Steve sobbed out "Leave me alone... just.. just leave me alone.." 

He hit at Kaj's hands, slapping them as he tried to pull him out of the bed, "Stop it! STOP IT KAJ!" He sobbed harder and then breathed out harshly, "I don't want to get up .. I.. don't want too.." He whimpered shakily, "Don't.. t-touch me."

Kaj breathed out heavily, "You need to eat, and shower.. and stop this.. " He said hoarsely, "You need to stop this Stevie.."

"Fuck off.." Steve said with a sob, "Stop telling me what I need to do... Just.. leave me alone.." He let out a sob as Kaj picked him up out of the bed and carried him into the bathroom, he turned the shower on and then put Steve in under the spray with his clothes on. "I h-hate you!" Steve sobbed harshly, "Hate you.. being mean to m-me.." He curled up in a ball in the bottom of the shower, and held his arms over his head, "Lemme alone.. I don't want.. you.. go away.."

Steve breathed out harshly, and then he screamed, "GET OUT!" Kaj left the bathroom without another word, and Steve slowly pulled himself up - he tugged his pajamas off and then had a proper shower, and Steve got out, he dried himself off and got dressed. Steve made his way outside, and he lit a cigarette, taking a drag and Vicky said - "Stevie.. you shouldn't be smoking .. the baby.."

Steve just ignored her and then he grabbed the keys to his truck, "I'm going out.. I.. don't know when I'll be back." He said it to Lyrena and Vicky, not knowing where the others were - and Lyrena said softly, "Where are you going Baby?" Steve said quietly, "Out."

He made his way to his truck? Ghost, Michael and Jonathan were with Issac - and Jonathan said, "Hey Stevie.. you're up, you wanna come with us we're going to watch the guys doing their annual horse thing.." Steve said softly, "No.. I have something I have to do." Kaj came around the side of the house - and he said, "Stevie? Where are you going?"

Robin was with him, and Steve just clammed up, holding his keys tightly - Kaj said, "Steve?" Steve said nothing - and then Kaj said angrily, "Really?! You're just going to fucking take off? What are you doing? Huh?" The others were quiet, and Steve said softly, "Nothing I'm just going out by myself for a bit.. am I not allowed to do that?"

"No.. you're not. Because we both know what you're trying to do!" Kaj said - holding his hand out, "Give me the keys.." Steve didn't, and he wasn't looking at Kaj either - "Give me the fucking keys Steve!" Kaj said again, and Jonathan said softly, "Kaj... he just wants.."

Kaj snarled, "He wants to go and fucking kill the pup Jon! He wants to go and have an abortion! Don't you Steve?" Steve looked away and Robin said softly, "Stevie?" Jonathan said softly, "That isn't true.. he wouldn't you don't wanna do that right Stevie?"

Steve stared at Kaj, tears in his eyes - "....Feel good do you?" He spat it out, "Feel good telling everyone what a fucking monster I am? Do you! You don't get to tell me what to do! This is my Baby! Its my body!, This is not your fucking decision!. Fuck all of you.." He shoved Kaj away from him, "THIS IS MY BODY! FUCK YOU!" He yelled.

Steve got into his truck, his hands shaking as he started it up and drove way - he was sobbing, heart broken as he drove. Everyone thought he was a monster - and it was true, he was. Kaj was trying to tell him he had to do what he said. He was being controlling and mean - and making him feel sick.

Steve had never felt more alone. He didn't feel loved or supported by his family. He didn't even know where he was going.

He pulled over on the side of the road, Steve stared out at the forest stretching out for miles and he breathed out shakily - part of him wanted to just go and lose himself in them - he had three weeks. Three weeks before.. Steve sobbed into his arms, resting against the steering wheel - as an intense wave of nausea hit him. 

He felt the rush of wet in his mouth and quickly slid out of the truck, vomiting harshly into the bushes, he started crying again and then he slowly made his way back to the truck and climbed back in. He shut the door, and then he drove up to the compound.

~***~

Steve slid out of the truck, and he wiped at his face - but when Mischa came out of the house? Steve just collapsed on the ground, and Mischa yelled out, "RIVER!" He came out of the house, and they both came over - "Help me get him to one of the cabins with a fireplace, he's so cold - we need to get him hotter." Mischa said softly, "You're alright my Darling.." Her soft lilting voice, made Steve sob softly.

River said gruffly, "I've got you little one," Steve let his eyes close, and Mischa was saying, "Vinny, bring my bag for me... Sammy leave him alone.."

Sammy hand taken hold of Steve's hand, and he was saying softly - "I'll go find him Stevie.. I will I'll go and find him.. bring him b-back.." He was stammering, and fumbling his way through his words, as shy and awkward as ever, "I'll go do that then.." He said before disappearing.

Mischa said softly, "That boy, damn nuisance.." She had a warm cloth pressed to Steve's head the moment that River had Steve laid on the bed, "Sweetheart.. you're not doing so good." Steve whispered, "I.. I am.. so, so sorry I ... didn't mean to come.." He felt her warm hands against his face, and Mischa said softly - "You're always welcome here Sweetheart.. always.."

Steve's eyes fluttered closed, and Vinny said softly "Your bag Mama.." River gently grabbed Vinny's hand, "Lets leave now son, Mama can check Stevie over - make sure he's doing okay.." Mischa looked at her husband, and Steve whispered weakly - "Eddie...where... is Eddie.."

"We'll fetch him.. don't worry.." River said quietly, the truth was - nobody knew where Eddie was, they hadn't seen him since Vinny saw him go into the woods. He'd just vanished. Steve was pale and sweaty - and stressed, and Mischa took her stethoscope out - she looked at her husband and son before they left the room, "Riv? ...Vinny Baby... any of them bastards from down the hill show up here.. you keep them away.." 

Her eyes burned vibrant blue. "...they got him into this state, he's not as fucking safe there as Eddie thought is he?"

Vinny bit his lip softly, and thought of Lyrena... "Mama.." 

Mischa said quietly, ice in her voice - "... He's dehydrated and highly stressed, and I think... he may be suffering from sickness because he misses Eddie.. and if we can't find Eddie?.. It may get worse.." 

She wiped Steve's face with the cloth. "He's.. in a lot of pain, a lot .." 

Vinny watched as his Mother placed her hand on Steve's arm - and black drained from Steve's body, like a wave of energy - pulsating its way through her body, she was draining his pain out.

Vinny's eyes filled with tears, because it was bad - it was really bad.

"C'mon now son.." River said quietly, "You don't wanna see this.."

Mischa murmured softly, "Oh Darling, you don't want your pup... you think that you're not going to be a good Mama?" She stroked Steve's hair back, and whispered - "You are, you're going to be the most wonderful Mama.. but.. you hafta want that first.." 

She put the cloth back into the warm water and squeezed it out - then stroked it over Steve's body. She got her thermometer and put it up his tongue, his core body temperature was very low.

"My poor Sweetling." She went into the bathroom and ran a warm bath - putting in some various herbs and soft salts. And lighting some candles - she whispered some spells and enchantments - asking for blessings. And then she got Steve into the tub and he whispered weakly, "Mischa.."

"That's right Baby, Mischa.. I'm gonna look after you, its alright.." She washed his hair gently and Steve whispered - "Why did he leave me.. why... doesn't he love me anymore.." Steve had tears sliding down his face and he just stared up at the ceiling - Mischa said softly, "Oh Baby, he does - he loves you more than anything else in this whole entire world. You.. and your sweet little pup." 

Steve whispered "No... he doesn't.. not.. anymore." Steve's face was so pale, and Mischa whispered - "He does.. you have to hold on for me.. cos He'll come back.."

Steve was so cold, and Mischa was starting to get really worried - if his body temperature dropped to low? If he got too sick, he might lose the pup, Steve might even die. River had got the fire going in the fireplace - Mischa got Steve as warm as she could in the bath, having gotten him washed and clean - she got him out, and into some soft cotton pants and a shirt. So his skin could breathe. 

Then she dried his hair off, brushing it out and wrapping him up in a thick bear fur - the bed was near the fire, and she said softly. "You're safe here with me. With us... you and you're little one."

Steve whispered, "I... I don't want it. I'm.. Bad.. bad for it.. bad mama. I'll hurt it." Tears slid down his face and Mischa said softly, "Sweet Baby, no... you wouldn't ever hurt your lil pup.. because you've been hurt, and you know that you wouldn't ever do that. You'd die to protect your baby.. and.. you would, because its yours and Eddie's.. isn't it?" She soothingly stroked her fingers through Steve's hair and he whispered weakly, ".. Dee.."

Mischa whispered, "Your Dee.. that's right Sweetling, don't worry..." She was glad when Steve fell asleep - the door opened, and she looked at River - "We need to find him, now... " Her fingers brushed against the claw around his neck and she said softly, "...He had the claw?" River said quietly, "What Mischa?" She lifted her gaze and then said again - "He has the claw.. oh my god River, he really .. he really is Shar.. but he has.. both halves.."

River said quietly, "How does he have both halves? The white half was stolen - from your Father.." Tears welled up in Mischa's eyes, and she whispered - "The white half was stolen before my parents left Washington. My Father, he .. he had been seeing a woman but my mother had been seeing Bobby... Eddies father.."

She lifted her gaze - "...What if we've been wrong this entire time.. what if someone else.. hurt my father and mother? To get the necklace? Bobby had the Black half. Could he have had the white half too? If he didn't how did Steve get it? The white.. half. ...how did he get it?"

They both stared at each other.

"How did he get the half that was supposed to go to Eddie?" Mischa breathed out softly - "Eddie is Fa Ulv... my Father knew that, even after he found out Eddie wasn't his son - he still knew that he was Shar's mate.. he always knew that River... he told me - that one day Eddie would meet Shar... he said that Eddie was born awake.. he was never asleep - so.. how did Steven have both halves of the claw?"

River breathed out shakily, "....Someone has had it and been passing themselves off as Fa Ulv's descendant? Or maybe they don't know? It was all an accident?"

Mischa frowned, "River... it isn't an accident that my parents both were murdered... My parents were Danish descendants of a Royal Wolf bloodline, they grew up in Lithuania - and.. were brother and sister - We were in hiding, because people were always after us!. They were.. Fa Ulv's bloodline. I don't know who killed my Father and his girlfriend? I always thought Bobby killed my Mother. My parents fled to come here... to find Shar's bloodline.. My Father knew he carried Fa' Ulv's - Father Wolf's bloodline on his side.  ...So... they left and came here... and then .. My Father, he was always so paranoid about hiding the White claw. About his lineage." 

River said softly, "Bobby Black was a known alcoholic and a raging feral monster - and look what he did? He murdered his own Wife and Daughter and left his son alone. He.. raped your Mother and got her pregnant with Eddie. He was a murdering rapist!. Do we know though that it was him that killed your mother? I mean what if it wasn't.. What if whoever killed your Mother - was the same people that killed your Father and his girlfriend. While looking for both of the Claws?."

Mischa said softly, "Eddie and I made the story up to tell everyone that I was dead - once I married you, and started living up here. Hiding up here with you, to protect Vinny and Samuel. To keep me hidden away. But My Father was murdered first.. with his girlfriend?... He was living with her, I think ... My mother was.. well mentally unwell  having an affair with Bobby Black.. She got pregnant with Eddie.. but Eddie? He has both Bloodlines. He has the Black and the White bloodline.. My parents weren't together anymore... when Bobby brought Steve up here, to meet Eddie.. do.. you remember that?"

They both stared at each other again.

"Bobby brought Steve up here, he was just a Baby. Only a few days old - and Eddie was only eleven. My mother was insane... you know she was mad - driven mad and obsessed with Bobby." Mischa had tears on her face, "I... sometimes wonder if she was his mate and Bobby drove her insane...she was never happy with my Father. They loved each other yes - but.. my Father was more happy with Katija. I ..  My mother tried to ... get rid of Eddie - then she got back with my father for a little while - at least... he still kept her on the side - she lived up here.. with him.. till he went and lived with Katija permanently. They went to Denmark for a while, I.. think they were living here, down South.. I...they had one child but I don't know what happened to him."

She stared down at Steve, stroking her fingers through his hair - and she said softly - "My parents died.. and it was just me and Eddie... Eddie got so caught up in his obsession with Steven. I... didn't believe for so long that.. he said Steven was his Mate - we.. remember we thought he was insane, we thought he was a liar... and then he get so caught up in this ... looking for Steven.." She stroked her fingers against Steve's face - "...This whole entire time, he has been here - or.. where ever he has been. And Eddie was right - they really are Sacred, God and Goddess.. forever." Tears slid down her face and she whispered - "How could I have not believed my little brother?"

River came and sat beside her and he said softly, "Because you thought he was crazy? Being obsessed with him?" She lifted her head - "But if he dies, ...I'm the one who told Eddie to let him go.."

She whispered tearfully, "If he dies because of me.. if him and his pup die River, I will never forgive myself .." She let out a sob, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "I thought that Father Wolf, the legends and stories I thought he was White, had eyes that didn't go back?"

"Well those are just stories, we don't really know do we? But.. our families.. the White claw was stolen from my Father. And.. I'm guessing that Steven had the Black claw, I know Bobby had it River. I remember him having it when I was a little girl." Mischa said softly.

River gently stroked her face - "...So your Father, he believed that Eddie was Father Wolf?" She nodded - "...When Eddie was eight years old, he had red eyes for three years River. And he would cry all the time.. about missing who he called his Mylimas, why would an eight year old boy be saying he missed his beloved? My Father also said that he was born awake, and would run around hunting animals in his fur when he was a little boy. When he was a boy River... Eddie's fur was White, it was pure white my Father said it was as white as snow - Eddie was always so secretive. So.. strange. One day his eyes just turned Brown. He stopped asking about his Mylimas."

River said softly, "Well you are talking about Eddie.." He smirked and kissed her shoulder as she swatted him. "...He also collected all kinds of strange things to save for his beloved too. I don't know.. He was a peculiar boy. Not much really changed there.." She smiled fondly and then she stroked her fingers into Steven's hair.

She let out a soft breath, and whispered - "I...want him to be happy River, this sweet boy... I.. feel so protective of him.." River kissed her temple, and whispered - "I'm going to put on my fur and see if I can find him, I'll take Vinny.." She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes - and then she whispered, "Maybe... we can ask the Blacks to help us find him?"

River went tense, and he said hoarsely - "You want me to... ask for their help?"

"To save Steven's life? To find Eddie?" Mischa's tears slid down her face - "Yes River.." Her voice shaking, "I would ask for their help.. Because we don't know where he is.. and if he doesn't.. if we can't find him.. Steven is going to die. He will get weaker and weaker, and he'll just fade away... You... go. You go and try to find Eddie - and I'll phone them .." She breathed out shakily, "I will ask for their help."

River breathed out shakily, and whispered - "I'm sorry, I can ask them.. my love." He kissed her and whispered - "We have a lot of woods too cover.."  She nodded and then whispered, "Will you ask Vinny to sit with ..." 

Vinny stepped into the room and he said softly, "I'll stay with him Mama, and I phoned.. his family, they're coming." Tears slid down his face and Mischa curled her arms around her son tightly, "You're a good boy Vinny." He held her tightly and whispered, "Is he really dying Mama.." She nodded yes and whispered, "We have to find Eddie... I don't know how long we have.."

River stood up, and he said hoarsely - "Will you help me get the cabins organized Vinny? Before they come, so they have somewhere to stay.. Mischa baby, stay here with Stevie.." She nodded, and Vinny said tearfully, "Daddy..." He looked at River, "Can... I please stay with Stevie, for little bit?" 

River pulled Vinny in close, he kissed his temple and then he murmured softly - "Course you can...you cuddle up and you keep him safe.. you do that for me and your Mama, and Eddie.."

Vinny whispered, "I will Daddy, I promise." River curled his fingers into Vinny's hair, and he said hoarsely - "We love you Vinny, we've always loved you. Love having you home again." Vinny held onto his Dad tightly and he whispered, "I.. really needed to know that." 

Mischa smiled softly, and then River murmured - "I'll go get the cabins all sorted out." Mischa nodded, and then she got Vinny all cozied up with Steve, "You come and get me if he gets worse, colder - or starts shaking, his lips.. change color.. alright my Darling?" 

Vinny nodded, and he whispered - "Mama... you said about ..the claw?"

She nodded, and Vinny murmured - "Steve.. got the other half from .. er his boyfriend.. Kaj." 

Mischa just looked at him quietly - "That's a Danish name?" She asked curiously and he nodded - "Yeah he is? Kaj Valentine? I think.." 

Mischa breathed out softly, "Nei ... Valentin. His Mother's name." She suddenly knew where Steve had gotten the white claw perhaps. Katija Valentin had been her Father's Woman. Was Kaj their son? - "I think that this Kaj.. is possibly my half brother." Mischa said quietly.

Vinny's eyes widened and he said softly - "His eyes are the same color is yours, his Wolf eyes." She nodded - and whispered, "My Father gave him the White claw... he gave him Father Wolf's claw. It was supposed to go to Eddie.." 

Vinny whispered - "So... Kaj, the white claw wasn't meant to be his?..." 

Mischa frowned and said "No... the White claw, it belongs to Eddie - he is Father Wolf." Her voice was soft - and she added quietly, "Eddie is Father Wolf, and Stevie is Shar."

Vinny whispered, "Holy shit... so... Stevie has never been tied to Kaj in that way.."

"No Baby, he's .. his mate is Eddie.. has always been Eddie." Mischa said softly, "The claw will activate, it may activate if it hears Steve possibly. But if Eddie wears it, which.. he's never done? It will activate properly. I didn't know where it had gone, after my Father was killed - we lost it. I had no idea that... he had given it to ..Kaj? I didn't know what happened to their child."

Vinny said softly, "So... Cara was my mate?" 

Mischa said softly, "Sweetheart, no... she was a Human." 

Vinny bit his lip and he murmured - "No.. no she.." 

Mischa gripped his face, "Sweetheart.. you need to stop lying to yourself.. please. You couldn't be with her. She took her own life because she was very unhappy.."

Tears blurred his vision, and Vinny gasped out - "But she was pregnant, she had.." Vinny sobbed softly, "I got her pregnant.."

Mischa pulled her into her arms and she said softy, "No my Darling you didn't because a Wolf cannot get a Human pregnant.. you would have killed her. I told you this... a Wolf will knot, and you can't do that to a Human. It isn't possible. So.. if Cara was pregnant, and she had an abortion and then did what she did.. that was not your fault. Because she was lying."

Vinny breathed out harshly, and he stammered out - "I... no... I.." She cupped his face - "You haven't met your mate yet, my Darling. When you do... you will know. Only She will exist for You. You will want to lay your kill at her feet, to die for her - to fill her belly with your pup. Nothing else will exist but your love for her, or him... depending." She smiled softly, and whispered, "You will know... because your heart will howl for your mate. and theirs for you."

Tears burned in Vinny's eyes, and she said softly - "The way that Eddie loves Steven, and the way that Steven loves Eddie? That is how you will know. Your entire world, exists only for them. You slow down, you exist for each other. You breathe, you live.. you do everything for them. And your wolf howls for them." Mischa said softly, "Cara was a Human, you couldn't have been mates with her Darling.. you are a Uratha.. a Wolf. Not Human. Not made for a Human."

Vinny breathed out shakily, and she whispered, "Which is why you've been so lost and so angry with me and with your Daddy... because you hated me for telling you that." She cradled his face - "You didn't want to know.. but you need to know. Stop living your life because of that. Be free my beautiful boy. So you can find her.." He breathed out heavily and whispered shakily - "... I'm such a fucking fool."

"No you're not, you're just... a sweet romantic boy.. that's all.." She gently stroked his hair, "Stay here, for me with Steven, and keep him safe - keep him warm..." Mischa said softly.

"Mama?" Vinny said shakily, wiping at his face - "They.. think Kaj's his mate."

"They are wrong... Eddie is.. he always has been.. Kaj.. is not.. he's not.." She said softly, "I do think he is my half brother though. He is my family. But he isn't Steven's mate. They will understand that however, ... especially when they understand the magick the powerful magic of the Sacred. They haven't seen Eddie and Steven together - not at their full power.."

Vinny curled himself around Steve and he said softly, "So.. why .. is he getting so sick Mama?"

Mischa said softly, "I.. think its because he needs Eddie.. I didn't think it was real, I've never seen Mate sickness before. It's another thing I've heard of but only as a rumour.." Vinny breathed out softly and he nodded, "I.. okay Mama." She stroked his hair, "I think Stevie and Eddie have been.. both lost. It hasn't just been Stevie. Eddie has been fighting himself - for a long time too. And hurting for a long time. He doesn't know who he is either..." 

Vinny said softly, "...Do Wolves go mad without their mate?"

Mischa said softly, "I think so.. maybe, I mean my Mother..." Tears welled up in her eyes, "Maybe that's why Bobby Black went feral... maybe he couldn't live without her too.." Vinny said softly - "So much pain everywhere.. its so sad Mama."

Mischa gently cradled Vinny close to her. "You're such a sweet soul.." He let out a soft exhale of breath - and then he said - "When I was... down at the rez? Nana Missy told me about this story of Father Wolf and Shar's son... Elkfoot? Or.. something.." He'd forgotten the name. 

Mischa said softly, "Far'saesh Elk Brother. Mhmm.. he was their Son - and a powerful, powerful Healer and Shaman. The last born of their Sons - and not one of the Five that betrayed them. He was a secret child, the last one of their sacred Union. He was their last one, before Shar was cast into the underworld before she made the Fell. He tried to reunite them.. but he too was cast into the fell - and believed to have been lost forever." 

Vinny had tears in his eyes, and they suddenly burned bright pink - Mischa said softly, "What did she tell you hmm? Missy Black."

"That I was him.. Far'saesh Elk Brother..." He whispered, "Because I can speak Mescalito, because I can D-dream walk... because I can read Shar's book.. the book Tonka had in Arizona.." He whispered. 

"...You've always been a special Boy Vinny, and powerful - me and your Father have always known that. You should ask Tonka to come home, to come back here and bring his books.. they belong to Steven.." She said softly, curling her fingers into Steve's hair.. "He might need them in the future.. plus? Tonka's father would love him to be home here with us again."

Vinny said softly, "...Do.. you think that I'm Far'saesh Elk Brother?"

His mother smiled, her soft little smile - her voice lilting as she murmured - "You already know the answer to that my Darling boy." Mischa said softly - "You already know who you are."

She stroked her fingers against his face, and said softly - "Call me if anything changes." Mischa kissed his temple. And Vinny said softly - "I will Mama."

~***~

The cars arrived all in quick succession of each other - and Mischa stood with her arms at her sides, some of the men were tense - not really happy about the invasion from down the mountain. But everyone knew at the same time - that it was needed. Just that tensions were high. River took hold of her hand, and he gave a nod to Leif - "Keep an eye out.." River said softly, his jaw set firm.

Nate Black climbed out of his truck, along with his brother Elias - but they weren't the ones that were there as the head of the Black Family. Amusingly - to the surprise of her Husband? That task we upon the Matriarch. Mistina Eberdeen Black.

Otherwise known as Missy.

She was four foot 3 inches. Eighty-six years old. And tough and wise as they came. She was not to be trifled with. 

Missy huffed softly, "Rena, Baby girl..." She held onto the arms of a petite little Red Haired girl - Mischa and Missy stood there eyeing each other up. 

"Where is my Grandson?" Missy asked her, dark eyes worried and full of twinkles at the same time. 

"He's resting, not.. doing so good I'm afraid.." Mischa's voice was soft, her own eyes full of worry - and sadness. Missy suddenly linked her arm through Mischa's, "Well my Granddaughter - we best get these fools out to find Eddie, sooner we do that.. sooner he gets better ey?" Mischa smiled a soft little smile, and murmured - "Yes.. that's right Nanny." 

Everyone piled into the big Hall - but Mischa's gaze, landed on the one person she was the most curious to meet. And there he was.

Kaj Valentin. Her Brother.

He was Big, tall and Blond. Tears welled up in her eyes - he looked so much like their Father, that it almost made her cry out. Her own eyes burned vibrant blue - her Wolf front and center and Missy said with a chuckle - "I sense a big family reunion?" Mischa stared down at her - and she nodded.

River gathered together the men - he didn't ask Kaj to come with them, instead - her husband said, "I think.. my wife wishes to speak to you first?" Kaj's vibrant eyes shifted - his head turning - and then they just stared at each other. The younger man seemed startled by her - Missy was with the others, and Kaj seemed a little hesitant.

They walked closer to each other, Kaj staring down at her - he said softly, "Who.. are you?" 

Mischa said just as softly, "Katija Valentin.. she was your Mother? Hmmm.. Your Father's name was Niklaus?" 

Kaj said softly, "Yes.. Niklaus Munson. How do you that?" They were slowly moving a little bit closer - and Mischa said softly, "Because Niklaus was my Father too.." Tears spilt down her face - "My Mother was Evie.. Evangeline, you...I just remembered something.." Kaj said softly - "You and Eddie.. you lived you were both at my house with your mother.. I was only .. very small." Tears slid down his face - "Your mother was ... she was.." 

Mischa said softly, "Unwell yes.." She hesitantly reached out and touched Kaj's face, and he rest  his forehead against hers. "Why did I forget I had an older sister." Tears slid down his face too and Mischa whispered, "Because you had too much trauma. You were broken.. put into care... after they were murdered." 

Kaj whispered, "Ja... they were taken from me - and.. I had nobody else. I.. didn't know.." Mischa said softly, "I was up at the compound - I didn't know till a long time after, my Mother was still crazy Kaj.. heart broken about Steven's father Bobby... he left her you see.." They bother let out a shaky exhale. "So... Eddie is your brother too." He said it softly, and Mischa nodded.

"Yes, ... Eddie is my brother, you are my brother... and they are brothers." She stroked Kaj's face. He said softly - "They're brothers..." 

Mischa nodded, "The White claw... did Papa give to you?" She said softly - and Kaj said softly - "He had it locked away in a safety deposit box. Told me that it was special and that it had to be kept safe. He didn't tell me that it was mine, just that it was Fa' Ulv's claw.." Mischa breathed out slowly - she was feeling anxious and afraid - and it was in her scent. Kaj looked at her and he said quietly - ".. I don't know everything do I." 

She nodded and then said, "Come and sit.." They sat down together and Mischa said softly. "Our Father, and My Mother? They ... were brother and sister." Her cheeks were pink - "They thought that they were in love with each other, so.. after the war - they had been in the revolution, helping the Jews to escape.. to get out of Denmark. They were both prisoners in separate camps. I think maybe they were a little bit crazy.. who knows? But.. when they got out? They both had the White claw with them, it was the one thing they kept. They fled and went to Lithuania, and for a long time I think they were happy there - but.. eventually they made their way here."

"My mother met Bobby Black - and he was already crazy, .. he raped her.. got her pregnant with Eddie, but at the same time? They were obsessed with each other, desperately in love - they said Bobby wanted to leave Elena to be with my Mother, but.. something happened and he changed his mind." Mischa and Kaj were holding hands - and Kaj said - "So... they left the reservation - Bobby and his wife, Steve's mom? They took Steve.." 

Mischa nodded, "But at the same time? Our Father, had been living with your Mother - and well had you.. you and Steven - I mean you're only a year older than him aren't you?" Kaj nodded - "You and Papa, and your mother were living in a house not that far away from the Reservation.. and Bobby? I don't know - but... he brought Steve, and Eddie - and took them to see you. I was fourteen? So three years older than Eddie. He was eleven. Eddie blocked that out for years.. but you and Steven were only babies."

Kaj said softly, "The white claw.. it.. its not mine is it.. it's his.. its Eddies." Mischa said softly, "Yes Kaj.. it's Eddie's."

"Steve isn't my Mate.. he's.. always been his.. his mate." He whispered it and he said hoarsely, "I.. I've helped make him sick." Mischa said softly, "You .. we don't know that Kaj, don't say that.. okay? We don't know that."

Kaj said hoarsely, "No... when he got attacked by the cougar and we... I knew that feeding him the heart of the kill could make him crazy, and we did it anyway.. I knew that.. having sex with him.. and I still did it.. and it made Eddie crazy.. it made him hurt Steve.. I did it.. I did all of this its my fault!" He let out a harsh broken sob, and he said shakily, "And... now Steve is sick.. he's.. he doesn't want his pup! He doesn't want his pup and he thinks he's wrong.. and its my fault.."

Mischa curled her arms around Kaj and said softly, "No.. no stop this, stop!! It's all just .. a big mess I know, I know it is - but you love him, you love Steven and you would never hurt him intentionally everything you've done has been because you love him yes?"

Kaj said hoarsely, "Y-yes but... but I... He hates me ...he left this morning because..." 

Mischa said softly, "Sweetheart he left this morning - and instinctively he needed too.. he came here looking for Eddie. That isn't because of You - or anyone else.. Stevie.. needs Eddie.. Do you understand?"  Kaj said hoarsely, "....How do .. I stop loving him?"

"Who says you have to stop loving him?" Mischa said softly, "You can't... stop loving someone.. stop that right now."

Kaj whispered, "But.. he.. needs to be with Eddie.." 

Mischa cradled Kaj's face in her hands - "Listen to me, I'm not telling you that you have to throw everything you have with Steve away - that is not my business. I wasn't even sure that Mate sickness was a real thing, and maybe... it isn't.. I just know that Steven is very ill - and he.. appears to be getting sicker. Maybe that isn't.. because of Eddie.." 

Kaj whispered - "Maybe it is though.." He looked heartbroken, and he said quietly - "I.. love him though, I do love him.. I.. didn't want to .. I.. pushed him too hard this morning, he told me I was being mean to him.. I.." 

"We know why you were pushing, you wanted him to keep his pup." Mischa said softly, "I understand, don't be so hard on yourself. Why don't you go and ..be with him.. nobody will be angry at you." Kaj said softly, "... I should help.. go look.. for Eddie."

"No.. the others can do that Kaj.." Mischa said softly, "Go and be with Stevie.." 

"...You're. my big sister." Kaj whispered it, and he scented her - suddenly holding her a lot tighter. And then he murmured - "Vinny? He's.. my n-nephew?"

Mischa let out a soft chuckle, "Yes.. yes lille ulv, I'm your big sister - and Vinny is your nephew.." 

Kaj let out a soft teary laugh, "I... I call Stevie.. lille ulv..." 

Mischa smile, "Of course... hmmm I .. have you met Eddie?" She asked quietly, "As.. an adult." 

He tensed up a little, and then said quietly - "Yes... in Virginia." Kaj breathed out in a rush, and he muttered softly - "....I..don't think either of us wants to have to see each other now though." 

"You.. may have to learn to .. be around each other.." She said quietly, "Same as my Husband and the Blacks may need to learn to forgive each other and get along too.."

They stared at each other and Mischa lifted her head as Lyrena, Robin - Vicky came inside with Missy. Lyrena was holding Robin's hand, but she was looking around - and Mischa saw the way that Vinny suddenly came rushing inside - his face all flushed. "Lyrena... Hello.." He said it in a rush and Lyrena was blushing - "Hello Sugar."

Mischa took Kaj's hand, standing up she said - "I'll get one of the girls to take you to Steven.." She waved over Rebecca, "Becca honey - take Kaj to see Steven.." The younger girl said softly, "Okay Mischa.." Kaj gave Jonathan's hand a squeeze - and then he was gone.

Mischa smiled at the others, not missing the fact that Lyrena and Vinny were in a world of their own. 

Could it be? Could Vinny have found his Mate?

"So.. come sit with me - did you all see Steven? Have some cuddles?" Mischa said softly, and it was the girl - Robin? Who's beautiful eyes filled with tears made Mischa's heart ache. "Y-yes.. we.. did." She said tearfully, and Mischa said softly, "Aww Baby." She pulled Robin into her arms, she smelt like sunshine. "Come have a cuddle." Robin let out a shaky, exhausted breath but snuggled into her and said softly - ".. I wish Stevie could just be happy."

"Don't you worry, we'll do everything we can to make that happen. Did you all see your cabins? I hope they'll be comfortable for you." Vicky said with a smile - "They're really nice Mischa, cozy.. thank you." She smiled, "You're most welcome." The tall lanky boy with the black eyes said - "..So Eddie's your brother?" She nodded - and started handing them all a cup of hot chocolate. "You can put your own marshmallows or sugar in.. help yourselves." 

Everyone was adding their own additions - and Lyrena gave her a smile, "...Thank you sister, for.. taking care of my Stevie.." Her voice soft, Lyrena was younger than her obviously - but still older than Vinny. She was beautiful, and looked a lot like Steven. "You're Bobby's sister." Mischa said softly, before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "Yes.. I'm the Baby. Nate's the oldest, then Elias - then Bobby, and I'm the Baby.." she said - and Mischa smiled, "You married? Pups?" Mischa asked innocently, beside Robin - Missy was listening and pretending she wasn't.

Vinny was also pretending he wasn't listening either.

"Oh.. no.. no I've never been married, and no pups.. although I have kind of taken a little one under my wing. Mina.. she's only five years old - her mother died - and her father left her. Her Mother a wolf, her father a pale one - so.. not sure what Mina will be.." Mischa nodded - "And Stevie.." She smiled softly and Lyrena laughed - "Yes... yes Steve has always felt like he's my pup.." Her eyes were sad - and Mischa said softly, "...My little brother, he's always felt like my pup - he's.. a trouble soul, but he is good too.. he's so good he just... needs love.."

"So.. he's not all monster then." Lyrena said softly, and she held Mischa's hand - Mischa whispered, "Not all monster Sister." They interlaced their fingers - and Lyrena had tears in her eyes. "I hope they find.. Eddie, do.. you really think its mate sickness? Is it even real?"

Mischa said softly, "I'm not sure... but.. I've never seen someone get so ill, so fast - not like this." 

They all had to hope that it wasn't, and that if it was - they found Eddie and fast. 

Everyone sat down - and Missy said softly, "Lyrena.. I think we were wrong about Kaj and Stevie... it.." She looked at Mischa - "But.. according to what we all know? Eddie isn't a white wolf?" Mischa frowned - "Yes he is? He's been white in his fur since he was eight years old.."

Both Lyrena and Missy looked confused - Missy said - "Steve said Eddie's got black fur like his." 

Mischa frowned and then said - "... His fur is white, I've seen it - he shifted into his fur when he was a child. He has white fur and Red eyes. Red eyes like his mother Evangeline." Missy said softly, "Kaj - he has white fur, thats why we thought the claw .. we thought he was Father Wolf." 

"Kaj is my brother - half brother. Our parents.. Niklaus and Evangeline? Were siblings - both descendants of Father Wolf. But .. Eddie? He has Father Wolf's blood from our Father, and then he has Shar's bloodline from his Father - Bobby black."

Everyone was staring, fascinated - "...It.. oh.. my moon." Lyrena said softly - and Missy said - "... So.. the white claw - it belongs to Eddie doesn't it."

Mischa nodded. "Eddie is Fa' Ulv, .. Father Wolf. Steve.. is Shar." 

Robin whispered - "... But He hurt Steve... he hurt him.." Tears welled up in her eyes - and Mischa said softly, "Darling I know he did - but...he lost control of himself. I know it was bad - Eddie knows what he did was bad.. but at the same time? They're so intertwined together, .. they belong together. They're two halves that make each other whole."

"What about Kaj?" Another one of Steve's pack said - a beautiful boy with big eyes, "I'm sorry Darling, nobody has told me your name.." Mischa said softly.

"Ghost.. Will, I'm Jonathan's brother." He said softly. "What about Kaj?" Ghost said again. "...Kaj loves Steve too, and.. we've only been back in Steve's life for a short time - but me and Michael know that Steve loves him too."

"...Steve does love Kaj, and Kaj loves Steve... I'm not saying that they can't love each other." Mischa said softly - ".... But you all need to understand something very ... very important."

They all looked at her. 

"None of us... not one of us here in this room, not any of us on mountain? None of us would even exist.. if Steve and Eddie.. didn't. They have lived before... thousands of years ago, they are the reason we exist... they are our Mother and Father... the Goddess and the God. The Moon and our Father." 

Everyone had tears in their eyes. 

"...We don't breathe, we don't put on our fur... we don't live... without their sacrifice." Mischa said softly. "We owe everything to them."

Chapter Text

Steve drifted, in an out of being awake and asleep - he whimpered softly - pain wracking his entire body. "It's okay lille ulv.." Kaj murmured it softly, and Steve whispered - "Kaj?" He tried to open his eyes, but he felt like they were too heavy to open. "Yeah.. yes I'm here.." Kaj said softly, Steve whimpered - "You.. were being mean, so mean to me."

Kaj whispered, "I'm sorry - I didn't mean too, I just didn't want you to hurt yourself.. or.. your pup." Steve whispered back, "I.. don't feel good." He finally got his eyes open - and Kaj said softly, "Does it hurt?" He nodded and he said shakily - "I'm so cold.." Kaj gently lifted Steve into his arms, and held him close - flush against him and Steve whispered, "That feels better."

Kaj murmured softly, "Yeah? Good, you can stay here - here in my arms.. I'll keep you warm." He was - Kaj was so warm. His skin felt like it was burning into him - hot and so good. Steve trembled and he whispered, "Feels good, really good - Kaj... I love you."

Kaj curled his fingers against his hair - "I l-love you too Stevie, my sweet little wolfie.." Kaj's voice sounded all rough, and like he was crying. Steve frowned and he whimpered softly, "W-why are you sad... why are you c-crying? I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I.. left, I ... just.. I don't know why I c-came here.. I.. felt so sick, I.. t-thought M-Mischa could help m-me.." He let his eyes close, and Kaj  said softly "She.. can, she can help you."

They laid there quietly together and Kaj shifted, he laid on his back - Steve curled up against the heat of his body, and Kaj curled the bear skin over the top of Steve. "You won't get too hot?" He whispered, and Kaj let out a soft, rumbling growl - "I...don't care even if I do, I want you to be warm.." He murmured against his ear, and Steve whispered - "...I..love you Kaj."

Kaj said softly, "I love you too, I love you my sweet little Wolfie." Steve drifted off to sleep again, he felt his heart racing in his ears - pounding, and he gasped out - "Eddie! Dee.. Dee.. come back.." His eyes were Liquid Gold, his skin was cold and sweaty, and Kaj murmured, "It's okay Baby.. we'll bring him back."

Steve whimpered, "He...he isn't here?" Kaj realized that nobody had told Steve he wasn't at the compound - that they had obviously come up with a lie to cover the fact he was missing. "He's here, he'll be here soon..." He said soothingly, hoping it would be enough - and Steve said tearfully, "Where...is he? He...doesn't love me anymore, he told me to l-leave.. he told me to go and be with my pack..my family.."

Tears slid down Steve's face, and he whispered - "Kaj... I.. I hurt, it hurts why doesn't he love me.." Kaj felt his heart breaking into a million pieces, even though he was pissed off with Eddie for hurting him? He was more worried right now about Steve being in pain.

Kaj murmured softly, "He does love you, he'll be here soon lille ulv, He sent you home because he knows you love your family.. he was trying to do the right thing.." Steve just stared at him, and then he whispered, "He...told me that you were better for me, better for me.. and.." Steve's hands shook as he touched his belly.

Kaj whispered against Steve's ear - "...Your pup.." A soft little whimper left Steve's throat, and he sobbed out - "I'm bad for it.. I'll hurt it... I'll break it... I won't be good...I'll make it bad it being in there.." Kaj's heart was breaking all over again and he said softly ,"Sweet Baby, little Wolfie.. no.." He gently cupped Steve's face.

"...You're not bad." He whispered it against Steve's mouth, "I am.. I am a monster.." Steve whispered back - breathing out shakily and Kaj said softly, "..You're a sweet, beautiful Wolfie.." Steve shook his head no - tears sliding down his face, "I... I'm not. Bad.. I've done bad things. I want to do bad things.." He let out a shaky stuttering breath.

Kaj murmured - "So.. you're a Wolf, part of you is an animal.. you like to kill, and hunt.. doesn't make you bad.." Steve whispered - "You...didn't want my kill." The silence hung between them for a few moments, and Kaj murmured - "I was scared, but only because I've never known ...that kind of freedom - I was always taught only to kill animals."

Steve whispered, "Eddie...he kills whoever, whatever he wants.. he's not afraid... he.. makes me.. not afraid.." Kaj murmured softly, "You and him killed Nancy together... freed Jonathan.." Steve shivered and he whispered tearfully, "Yes... yes Kaj.."

Kaj slid his fingers into Steve's hair, and he whispered - "I...am not afraid of you Stevie, my lille ulv, I don't think you are a monster... if you laid your kill at my feet right now... I'd eat it... I would eat it.." Steve shivered and stared down at him, "You would?"

Kaj murmured softly, "Yes... I would, my sweet lille ulv, I... would eat it and share it with you.." Steve's gold eyes burned brighter and he whispered, "I...love you Kaj." He nuzzled his face against Kaj's and they shared their breath, Kaj whispered - "I love you too.."

Steve whispered tearfully, "...Do you? You still love me... even though I... still love him... love Eddie.. I don't know how to stop loving him Kaj, even.. even though he doesn't love me anymore, doesn't...w-want me... I.. it hurts, it hurts I.. still love him.."

Steve was sobbing brokenly, harsh sobs - and Kaj held him close - murmuring against his ear, "You don't have to stop, you don't have to stop loving him - okay? I... know you love him, it's okay.." Steve whimpered, and sobbed out - "But... but he's.. he has done so much bad.. shit... I.. how.. what is wrong with me.. what is wrong with me.."

Kaj murmured, "Nothing, nothing is wrong with you... stop that.. you can't help it.. can't help it if you love him." Steve sobbed softly, tears streaming down his face and he gasped out - "I.. I love you too.. I love you too Kaj, I don't.... I don't want to h-hurt you.. I.. I am so fucking wrong.. wrong I'm so sorry.." 

He was getting himself so worked up, and Kaj just kissed him, kissed him deep and slow - silencing him, silencing his sobs - Steve cried into the kiss- but then he whimpered and kissed Kaj back. They kissed till they both had to get air, and Steve trembled - whispering breathlessly - "Y-you...kissed m-me.." Kaj murmured huskily, "Yes... yes I kissed you Baby, did it help?"

Steve nodded yes - just staring at him and Kaj murmured, "Good, there is nothing wrong with you... my sweet lille ulv, you can.. kiss me, still love me... You're not hurting me, okay? I love you... I will always love you Steve, You're not wrong - there is nothing wrong with you.." His voice was husky and soft, and Steve was staring at him from under his lashes.

"You...still love me, you....still want me? Even...though I love Eddie.." He whispered it and Kaj murmured - "Yes.. I love you and I still want you, even though you love Eddie. Mischa... is my sister." He said softly, and Steve's eyes got big, then he went bright red- blushing deeply, and he whispered, "....Did... she tell you."

Kaj said huskily, "That Eddie is your older brother? That you have the same Father... yes... yes she told me.." Kaj gently stroked his fingers against Steve's face, and he murmured - "... We're wolves, I don't think it matters much.. " Steve shivered and he whispered, "You don't?"

Kaj smirked and then he murmured, "No Baby.. does it bother you?" He nuzzled Steve's cheek, and he whispered shakily - "I thought.. it was a little bit.. uh.. gross yeah." He was lying, he was turned on by it and loved it. He liked that Eddie was his brother.

Kaj murmured softly, "Do you? Think that its.. gross?" Steve nodded yes, and hid his face - breathing out softly, and curling his fingers against Kaj's side.

"Hmm.. I think it's kind of sexy." Kaj said innocently, and Steve whispered shakily - "You do?" Kaj smirked and said huskily, "Yeah.. I mean he's your big brother, and.. you're his little brother.. and youre all obsessed with each other.. maybe I'm just a pervert." 

Steve whispered against his ear, "No... no I.. do like it..I.. I like it. I lied." Kaj smirked and he murmured - "You don't have to lie to me.. Its okay.." 

They were both laying there watching the flames in the fireplace - and then Kaj rolled them over so that Steve was laying underneath him. Steve had a little more color in his face - and Kaj shifted a little - stroking his hand down over Steve's belly.

"....Are you not.. happy to have his pup in your belly?" He murmured softly, and then he whispered - "You'll be so pretty with your tummy all swollen. Full of your beautiful pup."

He didn't know that Eddie had said something very similar before he'd then told Steve to go home.

Tears slid down Steve's face and he whispered tearfully, "...Kaj..." Steve let out a harsh sob - trying to cover his face, making a soft shaky keening sound in his throat - Kaj whispered - "Don't hide your face Stevie.. hmm.. it's true." He brushed his lips over Steve's belly, then dragged his tongue.

Steve whimpered softly, "...You.. would love me even though it isn't yours?" Kaj said huskily, "I would love it, and love you...always, like it was mine.. even if he was here to love you both too... I'd love you both as well.." He growled against Steve's mouth, "I'll protect you and love you even if he doesn't want too.. I love you Stevie... I love you.."

Steve whimpered against Kaj's mouth, "I love you too.."

They kissed deeply, hungrily and Kaj kissed Steve till their lungs burned - tongues chasing and Steve whimpered shakily, "I... I love you... I love you Kaj.." He held onto him, and Kaj murmured softly - "I love you too, my sweet lille ulv." He rolled them onto their sides, and held Steve in his arms - curling their hands against Steve's belly.

"I...love you.." He growled it soft and rumbling against Steve's ear, and Steve whispered, "....You..know its his pup, and.. you're.. still here."

Kaj said softly, "His pup, my pup - your pup.. its a sweet lil pup...Just needs to be loved and taken care of. Needs to be protected and treasured. Like little Mina.. someone to love them Stevie.. She isn't yours but you love her don't you?" 

Steve gasped out tearfully, "Yes... yes Kaj.. I love her - and Issy... and... yes... yes I love Mina.. she's to tiny and sweet... I won't let anyone hurt her." 

Kaj's heart ached at Steve's words, he murmured softly, "So you see... you see my sweet beautiful little Wolfie, you would never be a bad Mama.. you love with everything you have. You're little pup, your baby... its a part of you, and a part of Eddie.. you made it... you love it.. don't you? You're sick.. right now because you're so frightened.. aren't you.. its not about Eddie... It's about the pup in your Belly.."

Steve was crying, into Kaj's neck - his scent was a heavy mixture of fear. "I... I am so, so frightened Kaj... so frightened.. and.. when Eddie told me to leave.. I was even more frightened, and I.. didn't know .. I.. didn't know if I could do this.. I.. still d-don't know.. and then I had to tell you... and.. I.. I don't know.. I'm just so scared of everything.." 

"I...know you're frightened, but you don't have to be. I'm here... you have all of us.." Kaj said softly, Steve stared at him and he whispered tearfully - "I...d-do?" 

Kaj nodded, "Of course you do Sweet little Wolfie..." His voice soft he murmured, "....I.. can learn to live with him too.. if I have too. So.. you can have.. him and you can have me as well if that's what you want.. I.. just.. I want you too.." He whispered it, his eyes glowing brightly.

Steve's golden eyes burned brighter. "B-both of you, you.... you're saying you will stay with me, you still want to be with me - even if I'm with.. him too?"

"Yes... that's exactly what I'm saying.." Kaj murmured against his mouth, "....I love you Stevie.. and I.. want to be with you. I won't ask you to choose between is again." Tears slid down Kaj's face and he whispered, "I love you too much and I don't want to lose you."

Steve whispered tearfully, "I love you too. I love you too Kaj... I....I don't want to lose you either.. I.. don't know how to choose...but.. h-he doesn't want me anyway.." 

Kaj murmured softly, "....Yes he does. He does want you - he's always wanted you.. that hasn't changed in the last three days..."

Steve laid his head against Kaj's chest and he whispered - "....You.... you think I'll be a good Mama?"

"I know you are, and will be... you already are.. Stevie.. to Mina.. you are like her Mama.." Kaj murmured softly. "And Issy.. and even Jon.. he's a softy, and you Baby him a little." He smiled softly, and Steve whispered, "Oh.. yeah.. I.. um yeah, and maybe Vinny too a little." 

He snuggled his nose in against Kaj's throat and Kaj held Steve closer - sliding his fingers into Steve's hair. Steve felt warmer - and Kaj murmured, "Do you feel a little better Sweet Baby?" Steve said softly, "Yeah... yeah Kaj I do, I feel better.." He was sounding all sleepy, and Kaj murmured softly - "Good.. that's good lille ulv."

Steve let out a soft little breath, and then he whispered tearfully - "Where is Eddie..." 

Kaj murmured, "He'll be here soon Baby.."

"Where is he..." Steve whimpered it - and Kaj knew that Steve was starting to become aware that Eddie still hadn't come. "He'll be here soon.. he'll be here soon.." 

Steve was trembling, and Kaj whispered - "I'll be okay, he'll be here soon Stevie.. hush, I've got you.." Steve let out a pained sob, and Kaj held him tighter - Steve cried himself to sleep in Kaj's arms - but he was starting to get cold again. Kaj pulled the covers up, around Steve - his own body was hot, but he didn't care. He waited - till Steve was in a deeper sleep, and then he gently eased himself out of the bed. He breathed out softly, and went back to the big house.

He found Mischa and Lyrena and Missy - and he knelt down beside them. 

"...It isn't just because Eddie's not here, he's... making himself sick because of the pup I think. He doesn't think he's good for it - I... feel like maybe his Wolf side is doing it so he can't leave... does that even make sense?" Missy nodded - "Of course it does Blue eyes... your Wolf can still feel his Wolf.." She looked at Mischa and said - "I still think Blue eyes is.. connected to them both, I know you don't think he is.. but I still do... I still think he's Shar's mate as well -" She looked at Kaj, "You belong at his side too ... I don't want you leaving."

Tears welled up in his eyes and Kaj said huskily, "I don't plan on going any where.." 

Mischa said softly, "I didn't say he had to go anywhere Missy - and I.. also never said that he should stop loving Steve, or Steve should stop loving him - I just said, that... Eddie is Steve's mate. But that's just because of the claw..." She looked at Kaj. "Have you ever worn it?"

Kaj shook his head, "No... I just gave it to Steve, when the two pieces joined together.." 

Mischa nodded - "Maybe you should try wearing it... see if anything happens.. I still don't know why Papa took Eddie to see you and Steve when you were Babies. Both of you.."

Kaj wasn't sure why that happened either, he just shrugged and then he looked over at Mina with Robin and Vicky, "I want to take Mina to cuddle with Stevie.. is that okay Mama Rena?" Lyrena said softly, "Of course Baby.." She cupped his face, and whispered - "You think it will help him.." 

He nodded and said softly, "He liked it when I said he's already like a Mama to her, and to Issy - and..to Jon." Jonathan heard him say that and he blushed - "Yeah.. he is kinda like my Mama.." Kaj grinned at Jonathan and he laughed softly, "...Is he doing any better?"

Kaj said softly, "He was.. but then.. he started getting cold again.. Its why I wanna see if Mina cuddles might help." Jonathan said softly, "Let me know If I can help too." 

Kaj nodded and then he scooped Mina up, and said, "Wanna go and see Stevie miss Mina?" She held his face in her hands and said softly "Yes please Spooky." He chuckled softly, and carried her to the cabin, she hopped down and then climbed in under the bear fur after taking her shoes off.

Kaj smiled softly as she snuggled up, her tiny hand against Steve's face, then she nuzzled in - scenting him as she said softly, "Mama I'm here." Kaj had tears in his eyes, and Steve said sleepily - "Mina? oh.. tiny angel.." He snuggled into her and scented her, her tiny hands curling into Steve's hair and then she said softly, "I've been drawing lots of pictures for you. To put on the fridge." 

"You have?" Steve said softly, and Mina nodded - "A picture of you, and me.. and Kaj and the baby." She whispered the last part and Steve whispered, "How do you know about that.." Mina whispered back, "Cos I hear Kaj asking the all Father to keep you safe while you were gone.. he was crying."

Steve whimpered softly, and pulled Mina in flush, calling out softly - "Kaj?!" He moved in closer, climbing in with them both. "I'm here.." He said softly - Steve whispered shakily, "Hold me.. hold us.. don't let go." 

Kaj held onto Steve, and he murmured softly - "I won't let you go Stevie.' Mina snuggled in closer and Steve was scenting her - breathing her in and then he turned his head and whispered shakily, "Kaj... Kaj I.. please.. don't let me go.. I'm really scared."

Tears were in Steve's eyes - his scent was a mixture of overwhelming love, and fear. Kaj said softly, "You don't have to be afraid lille ulv, I love you. I'm here."

Steve whispered tearfully, "..Has...he gone.. has.. -is he dead?"

Kaj cradled Steve's face - "No.. no Baby he's not gone, he's not dead..." Kaj could actually hear Steve's heart racing - pounding in his chest. "Breathe for me Stevie.. I want you to lay down, and close your eyes... go to sleep here with me and Mina.. okay sweet little Wolfie.. Eddie's coming I promise."

Kaj really hoped they found him soon. 

Steve curled himself up, tears on his face - and Mina said softly, "Don't cry Mama." Steve whispered shakily, "M'sorry Mina, my sweet little girl." He was snuggling her, scenting her and Kaj scented Steve, wrapping himself around them and Mina said softly, "Don't cry.. don't cry Mama.."

Steve fell asleep again, and Mina said softly - "Mama's so scared Kaj.. can smell it..." Kaj's murmured softly, "You can smell it Mina? What do you mean Button?" He leaned over, peeking at her - Mina's big eyes peered back at him, her little noise flaring - she whispered, "I just know I can smell it." 

She was five years old. Five years old and she knew she could smell Steve's fear?

She was definitely Uratha - not a halfling White One. Kaj gently curled his fingers into her hair - and he said softly - "Tiny Angel.. curl up here with Mama..' it was well established now - that Mina thought of both Lyrena and Steve as her mothers.

Lyrena wasn't bothered that she'd taken even harder and faster to Steve. The tiny girl had cried almost every night Steve had been away, curling up against Kaj and falling asleep while she sucked on her thumb.

Now she was fast asleep, in Steve's arms - the two of them asleep together. Kaj lifted his head as Vinny came into the room - and he said softly, "Vinny... would you.. keep an eye on them for me.." Vinny nodded, shy.. and he said quietly - "Yeah of course I will."

Kaj leaned forward.. and he took the claw necklace from Steve's neck and he separated the white side from the black. Vinny was watching him - and he put the black claw back around Steve's neck.

Kaj put the white claw around his neck - and he said softly, "Anything weird happening?" 

Vinny said softly - ".. I don't think so?" They waited a little bit - then Vinny said - "The etchings are glowing a little? But.. nothing else." 

He nodded and then laughed softly, "I.. didn't really think anything was going to happen." He smiled and then he murmured - he took it back off - and both Vinny and Kaj looked up as the door opened somewhat violently and a skinny kid sprawled inside. Kaj didn't know who he was.

"Jesus Christ numb nuts - where have you been all day?" Vinny said darkly - before he said, "Kaj this is my little brother Sammy - Sammy this is our Uncle Kaj." 

Sammy was filthy - and half wet - and he was bright eyed - "I... told Steve, I told him I was going to find Uncle Eddie!" He said breathlily - and Vinny snorted, "Sure.. sure you did - I'm sure you were going to find him when everyone else went looking." 

Eddie walked into the cabin and said quietly - "That's not very nice, picking on Sammy.. turns out he knew exactly where and how to find me.. didn't you Samuel." 

Samuel said with a dopey looking on his face, "Yup.." He popped the P. "I know how to find anyone.. I the woods.. I.. know cos.. I can track them. track the paws.." 

Vinny said quietly, "Holy shit.. Sammy.." He threw his arms around Eddie - who was just staring at Kaj - eyes glowing ruby red. 

Kaj stared back - the two of them not looking away from each other. 

Vinny said - "Uh.. uh.. guys.. don't fight each other? Okay - now.. is not the time or place for that." 

They both just kept staring at each other - Red ruby eyes meeting Vibrant ice blue.

"Sammy go get Mom.." Vinny hissed out - and Sammy said dopily - "Yeah kay okay I can g-go and get mom.." He ran out yelling "MAMA!"

Chapter Text

Kaj breathed out slowly, his entire body was tense as he looked at the older man standing in front of him - every instinct telling him to keep him away from Steve. Eddie hadn't broken eye contact either - which was unnerving, it was unsettling him - making him feel even more on edge.

It was worse than when they had been in Virginia, at Steve's house - it was of course because of everything that Eddie had done since then - everything including trying to kill Steve. They both moved at the same time - Eddie moved just a fraction closer, and so did Kaj.

Kaj moved closer to Steve and so did Eddie. Kaj could smell the older man's scent, it was heavy with musk - rich and deep and he didn't have any fear, Kaj's did - but it wasn't because he was afraid of Eddie.

He was afraid for Steve.

"Your fear is misplaced, I'm not going to hurt him." Eddie said it so quietly, it was almost inaudible. 

Kaj growled low in his throat, "Misplaced?" He spat out - "How would it be misplaced after everything that you've fucking done!" He moved to the end of the bed, and Eddie's gaze had shifted past Kaj - he was looking at Steve, looking at him curled up asleep with Mina. "...Yes.. misplaced." Eddie said again, and then he just looked at Kaj again.

He had the strangest wave of emotion wash over him, regret and sadness - and it was coming from Eddie. Powerful and harsh, slamming into him like a freight train. "I told him to go back to the Reservation, to be with you... you and his family - You  are his family." Eddie said quietly, and Kaj? He didn't know why - but tears welled up in his eyes.

It felt peculiar, like the tears didn't belong in his eyes. Why was he crying because of this Monster's emotion?

"So you just get to decide everything for everyone else after you tear him apart? Is that it?" Kaj's voice was hoarse, breaking slightly - "You completely tear him to pieces and then throw him away when you've done playing games? Is that it?" He asked, and Eddie breathed out slowly, his eyes impossibly dark. 

Eddie had his head low, and he was wearing the most ridiculous clothes Kaj realized - looking at him wearily. Jeans that were too big, and a shirt - that had River Blackwater's scent. Kaj realized that Sammy must have given him the clothes - How did Sammy even know how to find him? Out there in the woods? He found him in less than an entire day. Kaj raked his fingers through his hair, and he muttered - "You don't have anything to say this time? You had so much to say in that letter."

The older man's face was half hidden by his hair, and the door to the cabin opened - Mischa walked inside, and she said - "Edward? Kur tu buvai?" (Where were you?) Eddie didn't answer her, instead he shifted a little, and then he just walked past her - Mischa looked at Kaj, "Let's go outside to speak, leave Steve to sleep while he's able too." Kaj let out a soft exhale, and Mischa held out her hand - "Come.." She said softly, and Kaj took another look at Steve - but then he stepped closer and took Mischa's hand, and they both went outside.

Everyone was standing outside the cabin, and sitting - Eddie looked uncomfortable. He had his arm around himself - many that lived at the compound were sitting on the ground - mostly the women, as the Men were all still out looking for Eddie. Kaj watched as Missy gently pushed past everyone, she was holding Lyrena's hand - but then she let go and she stood right in front of Eddie. She just stared at him, quiet and studying him, and then she shifted her gaze looking at Kaj instead. "Blue eyes... come here?"

Kaj let out a soft exhale, and then she took his hand - she said quietly to Eddie - "You.. come with Us." 

Eddie didn't say anything, but he didn't argue either - he just wordlessly followed - and Kaj glanced at him, Eddie's gaze met his - and Missy said softly, "Lyrena.. Mischa - come." Both the women followed too - and Kaj said over his shoulder, "Vinny? Go sit with Stevie?" The younger man nodded, and then he slipped back into the cabin - Kaj's gaze met Robin, Vicky and Jonathan's. He wanted them to stay close too. The three of them stared back at him, and he saw them go and sit outside the cabin - it was like they heard him - and he felt himself relax just a little. 

They went into the big house, and Missy sat down - she patted the spot next to her and said - "Eddie you sit here." Kaj watched as the older man sat there obediently, he didn't seem to be putting up any kind of a fight, Kaj wasn't expecting this type of reaction? Mischa's eyes met his, and he just stared back at her - "Alright, you're here now.." Missy said calmly - "Kaj you come sit here too.." She motioned for the spot opposite Eddie, and Kaj reluctantly sat down. 

The three woman were all sitting, and Lyrena was looking at Eddie - it was her that said angrily - "What the hell have you done!" Missy said sternly - "Lyrena.. if you can't control yourself, you need to leave the room - right now." Lyrena's jaw twitched, and then Eddie stood up suddenly - he moved closer to Lyrena, and he said quietly - "I know what I've done, have you never lost control of yourself so badly that you did something you couldn't take back?" Tears spilled down Eddie's face and he said hoarsely - "I know what I did, I can't undo it... nobody hates me more than I hate myself." Lyrena let out a shaky exhale, and then she whispered, "...It's going to take me a while to forgive you."

Eddie nodded, and then he said quietly - "I'm not asking for anyone to forgive me. I don't think I deserve it anyway."

"One day, you might.." Lyrena said softly, and then she gently stroked her fingers against Eddie's face - he breathed out heavier and shook his head no, that he didn't agree with her. Lyrena sat back down - holding hands with Mischa, who said - "Where did you go Eddie? How... did Sammy find you? Sammy!"

"...I went pretty deep in, he said he followed my paw prints.." Eddie murmured it softly, and Mischa and Eddie were both just looking at each other - Mischa let out a soft little snort, and Missy said with a chuckle - "You underestimate your young one Mischa... he has tracking skills, you think he's a bit simple - but... clearly he's quite clever." Lyrena chuckled, "Maybe he would be good working with Elias on the hunting trips he takes some of the younger boys on - down on the Rez? Someone that good.. could be useful."

"Well we can talk about that when they get back?" Mischa said with a smile, while the women were talking - Eddie had lifted his gaze, and him and Kaj were eyeing each other up again - the women must have picked up on the tense vibe again because Missy said suddenly, "...You two need to talk without ripping each other apart, can you do that? Or are you just waiting for the moment to strike?" Kaj said nothing, and Eddie muttered softly, "I.. just want to see Stevie.."

"I don't want you touching him!" Kaj growled it and Lyrena said softly, "Kaj.. Baby.." He looked at her, and then breathed out sharply - "Fuck..." He muttered it, and then he sat there with his head in his hands. The room went quiet, and he breathed out in a rush of air. Because he knew, he knew he had to stop feeling that way - Steve needed Eddie. He had promised Steve he'd be okay with the older man... "I.. I don't trust you.." Kaj said hoarsely, "I... I am ... trying to.."

Eddie just stared at him, and Kaj stared back - they were engaged in a weird eye battle - and Mischa said softly to Eddie, "Kaj is my half brother too Eddie.." Lyrena and Missy looked at each other, Missy had that twinkle in her eyes again, but the older woman stayed quiet. "He is Niklaus' son.. just like I was his Daughter, you loved Papa ... he loved you, he was good to you yes? Kaj is.. kind of like you're brother too." Eddie's gaze shifted from Kaj, to Mischa - and then he lowered it and his eyes closed.

The silence was kind of deafening, it felt strange. And Kaj fidgeted a little awkward - he wasn't sure if he shared Mischa's theory, he wasn't sure that Eddie did either. But then?

"I remember when Bobby brought Steven up here, the same time that Papa brought Kaj here.." Eddie's voice was quiet, almost too quiet - and Mischa said "Yes I remember that too, I thought you'd forgotten about that, I had - I didn't remember. They were both babies." 

Lyrena and Mischa's hands were holding each other tighter - and Missy said, "When they were both babies? Why did your Father do that?" She took Eddie's hand and was patting it softly - as if she was soothing a small child. Eddie said gruffly, "...Niklaus told me something about them - about both of them." He was all tense, and Mischa said softly - "What did he tell you?"

It got almost unbearable quiet again, and then Eddie lifted his head - his eyes were burning ruby red and he said quietly - "I don't want to tell you what he said." Eddie stood up and then his eyes landed on Kaj's chest, Kaj realized he was looking at the White claw - and he let out a soft breath. Kaj took it off - and then he held it out for Eddie. 

"No I don't want it." Eddie's voice was a whisper. But Kaj and the women all heard it. "I don't want that thing... it just brings Death, I don't want it!" Eddie's voice cracked, and they could all smell his fear - Kaj tensed up and he said, "What do you know about it? This one.. do you know that Steve has the other one?" Eddie was staring at it - and then he snarled at Kaj, "You know nothing! Nothing about it - or you wouldn't have it... nothing! I don't want it!" He backed up and then went over to the window. Standing there in front of it - and curling his arms around himself. Mischa looked at Kaj, and then she held her hand out - Kaj handed the White claw to her.

"Eddie.." Mischa said softly, as she approached him - "What did Papa tell you, why are you ... talk to me?" 

Missy's gaze met Kaj's, and Lyrena whispered - "He's frightened of it, Grammy... why is he frightened of it?" Kaj let out a heavy exhale - "Because Eddie isn't wrong Rena.. everyone that we know - Eddie's Mother, Steve's parents... My mother, mine and Mischa's father... they're all dead - all of them.. because of the White claw. Not the Black one? The Black one Steve's had, because Bobby gave it to him?" 

Eddie turned around and he said hoarsely - "The Black claw is a Black claw - it's the same as Missy's claw - its ... its for show, its a fake - its not the real one." Everyone looked at him - and Eddie whispered, "Stevie doesn't have Shar's claw. The White claw... Niklaus kept it hidden away in a safety deposit box - separated and hidden. Because they had to be kept separated. The one that Stevie has... its a fake." He said it again - and Missy said - "...Why don't you want it?" 

Mischa took Eddie's hand, and she said quietly - "This belongs to you Eddie.." She tried to give him the claw and Eddie roared, "I DON'T WANT IT!"

Kaj tensed up - and Eddie breathed out harshly, he back away from Mischa - "I... d-don't want it... I.. get it away from m-me..." He sat away from her - eyes wild, he was breathing all wrong - and it was Missy who moved closer to him and then said softly, "Why are you so afraid, ...you need to tell us. Talk to us - what did Niklaus tell you. How are you all connected." Eddie was just staring at Missy, his red eyes were so bright - that they looked like fiery red embers. 

"I was born different.." Eddie whispered, "Born awake... born remembering things I didn't want to remember. I.. still don't want to remember." He looked like he wasn't seeing anyone in the room - his gaze far away. "I.. don't want too." Tears slid down his face, and he gasped out - "...I don't want too, please I don't want that.. get it away from me." Missy took the claw from Mischa, and she said - "It's just a claw.." Eddie said hoarsely, "No.. no it isn't." 

Mischa said soothingly as she moved in closer to Eddie - "Brother, its okay - you're safe." Eddie said hoarsely, "I... have kept so many secrets Mischa. Most of them, all of them - to keep Steven safe. And most of them, all of them... because Niklaus told me that I had to keep him and Kaj safe.." Kaj felt a weird twist in his gut - "Not just that, by myself... I had to keep myself safe too, to try and... blend into... to fit .. to lose ourselves. Be more Human. The more I tried to do that... the harder it was. It's.. been so hard.. and .. I've lost myself even more. I, I don't even know who I am - what I am.. anymore."

"Papa told you to keep Steven and Kaj safe? From what?" Mischa was kneeling down in front of Eddie.

"From... the Five brothers." Eddie murmured quietly. "They're out there, they got sent back too. They're in Human forms, they've been hunting us down - they want the claws. That one.." He nodded towards the white one, "If... I put it on, if it... comes anywhere near me, all the spell work the glamours that my Mother did to hide me will be gone. She... will have died to protect me for nothing." Mischa said softly, "What are you saying... just tell us, we are your family - your pack... tell us everything Edward."

"My fur isn't Black, my eyes aren't red - its spell work, I'm Fa-Ulv, Father Wolf.." Eddie said softly - "Evangeline was a witch, she.. protected all of us with her blood sacrifice - but she protected me in the end because Bobby and Niklaus asked her too. Steve is Shar... but the Black claw that he has? Its not his claw.. when I was a little boy, I used to wear the white claw all the time, because it was mine. Papa made me take it off, said one day that it wasn't safe to wear it anymore - he told me it wasn't safe because I kept crying about...." Eddie rubbed his hands over his face and breathed out heavily.

Mischa said softly, "About.. your Beloved." 

Kaj breathed out softly, Eddie had been crying about Steve before he was even born?

"When I took the claw off, my fur turned Black - it absorbed Shadow - but then... I forgot how to do it. I.. don't know what happened." Eddie whispered shakily - "It got worse when Mama started getting sick, when she was seeing Bobby, when Papa.. was seeing Katija when everything was falling apart - when.. our family was torn apart." Mischa wiped tears from her face - "Our.. little pack was in ruins, then Papa left to go and live with Katija and we didn't see him as much." She said softly.

Eddie nodded, and then he said hoarsely - "Bobby... he took me with him one night, he .. these men came after us. They tried to kill me - and he eviscerated all of them. Ripped them apart. Tore them.. to pieces.." He was reliving it - not seeing anyone again, and Mischa gently stroked his face, he blinked slowly - "He was insane. Drinking all the time, and then he got Elena Harrington pregnant - I could.. hear Steven in her belly." Eddie whispered - "I could hear him calling to me."

Everyone was just sitting there quiet - Kaj had tears sliding down his face. "But then? Then.. Papa came to see us - him and Bobby, I ...don't know. They were.." Eddie fidgeted with his hands, and he muttered - "I saw them together.." Mischa said softly, "What do you mean you saw them...together."

"I saw them together!" Eddie said sharply, and he looked at Kaj - "Kaj is.. he.. Katija isn't his mother." Mischa looked shocked - and Kaj said - "What?"

"Bobby got Niklaus pregnant with you!" Eddie said softly, "You're Niklaus and Bobby's pup.. not Niklaus and Katija's - So you're not just... Mischa's brother, your mine and Stevie's too. You have the Black bloodline, and the White Bloodline just like I do... it's why you're white in your fur.. its why you have eyes like Mischa.. you're both Bloodlines. Fa' Ulv's and Shar's... just like m-me.." Eddie said hoarsely. 

Missy said with a soft little noise, "Well - that was unexpected." She had that twinkle in her eyes and she actually let out a soft little chuckle. Lyrena said softly - "Grammy...it's not time to laugh." 

Eddie actually let out a laugh of his own, before raking his hands over his face - "No... its okay." His hands were shaking, and then he said quietly - "But it put you at bigger risk, like it did me.. and so.. Niklaus and Katija wanted to take you back to Denmark to hide you. When I saw you and Steve as babies - Niklaus said I would meet you both again one day, that we'd protect each other." Eddie murmured softly, "I just.. I.." He went silent and rest his head in his hands for a few moments.

"My mother used magic to hide me, but it made things worse I think because she wasn't well - she was obsessed with Bobby, and after he left with Elena and Steve - she killed herself. Bobby went insane and he killed Elena, and Didi - and took his own life. Left Steve an orphan.. he got swept into the system." Eddie said harshly, "And.. then we, Mischa and I found out that Niklaus and Katija had been murdered - but we didn't know what happened to you Kaj, you just vanished - we didn't know that you got put into the same system as Stevie.. My mother's magic hid everyone from each other - and she used the spells from Shar's books, but... I don't think she did it properly.. I don't know where she even got them from."

"Jacob.." Missy nodded - "Tonka's Grandfather - Tonka has them now, he's the one that helped Vinny in Arizona." 

"Where is Shar's claw, the two together... you and Steve would be powerful, together.." Mischa said softly - and Eddie murmured, "Forget about that... its dangerous." He lifted his gaze - looking at Kaj briefly and then he looked away. 

"There is more.. more you haven't said yet." Lyrena said softly, and she moved closer - sitting beside Eddie, "What else.."

Eddie said softly, "Kaj.. and I are both... Father Wolf."

Kaj breathed out slowly, and Lyrena said - "Both of you? How... can both of you be Father Wolf?"

Missy just smirked, "I told you they are both Shar's mate didn't I? I said it from the beginning.." Lyrena sighed softly - "Don't be arrogant Grammy it's annoying." Kaj's gaze met Missy's and she said, "Well I did call it from the beginning..." She looked at Eddie, "... So you'll both have to get on with each other, won't you.." Eddie pushed his hair behind his ear - going quiet, and Kaj said - "How.. are we both Fa' Ulv.. are we two pieces of him in two separate bodies?" 

Eddie muttered softly, "I.. don't know. I just know.. that we are." He glanced at Kaj and then looked away again - "Shar's claw, isn't actually Shar's.. it's yours." His voice was quiet - and Mischa said - "So Steve doesn't have a claw?" Eddie nodded yes, and he muttered - "That one is mine... the other one.. is Kaj's." Kaj said quietly - "Where is the other one, ...do you know where it is?" He stood up, at the same time Eddie did - and they did that weird thing again, where they moved towards each other - eyeing each other. 

"Yes I know where it is." Eddie said quietly. 

"So.. where is it?" Kaj asked - "Just because you don't want to wear your one.. doesn't mean I don't want mine. If... its going to help Stevie.." Kaj said - "I want it."

"They're both dangerous!" Eddie snarled out, "We should keep them apart and not have them anywhere near either of us!" 

Kaj and Eddie were both getting riled up and angry and in each others faces. 

"Where is it!" Kaj growled - the women were getting anxious and Eddie growled in Kaj's face - "I'm not telling you."

"I have your claw which is useless...to me, and you don't want to wear it because you're afraid of it." He snorted softly, mocking Eddie. "Steve has his which is just for decoration? And you have mine.. don't you.. you know where it is!" Kaj shoved Eddie, and Eddie shoved him back. 

"Steve doesn't need to wear them." Eddie said angrily as he breathed out against Kaj's face.

"You don't want him to be powerful, you want him to be weak and dependent on you!" Kaj growled - and they were shoving each other again. 

"Stop it both of you!" Mischa moved between them both, and they both growled - Mischa pushed them apart. "You're acting like children, do I need to put you both in time out???"

Eddie snarled softly, and he growled out - "Keep that.. thing." He motioned to the White claw, "Away from me." 

Missy said calmly, "Both of you are acting like little bitches, Edward - take the goddamn White claw. You don't have to wear it but it should be with you. Give Kaj his claw - or I am going to woop your ass right now." Eddie breathed out shakily, and she stepped closer - "You're not seeing Steven until you hand it over." She looked at Kaj, "And you... Blue eyes, you keep pushing his buttons and I won't let you see Steven either."

Both Kaj and Eddie glared at each other. Eddie huffed out slowly - and then he muttered, "...Fine." He left the hall - not taking the White claw. He was gone for about fifteen minutes - and when he came back, he handed Kaj a black box. Kaj breathed out slowly - and he opened it. Inside was a Black claw - but it didn't look anything like the one Steve had been wearing. It was like the White one, highly polished - it almost looked like glass. It was beautiful, and it must have picked up on the fact that the white one was nearby.

The two claws both started to Hum - to give off a noise - and Eddie muttered, "I hope you're all happy with yourselves." He gave Missy a dark look. "Especially you old woman." Eddie put the white Claw around his neck, and Kaj let out a soft breath as Eddie's eyes instantly changed - they burned vibrant piercing blue like his own, and Mischa's. But that wasn't the only thing that changed - Eddie got a streak of white in his hair - like Mischa had in hers. 

His skin did a strange rippling - and then he let out a deep, rumbling growl - and Missy, Lyrena and Mischa's wolf eyes all burned as he called to their Wolves.

Kaj let out a soft little rumbling growl in reply and then he put on his own Claw. 

He felt a shift inside himself too - it washed over him, harshly - quick - and it was powerful. Kaj growled a deep rumbling growl in reply to Eddie - and Eddie suddenly held out his hand, Kaj breathed out softly and then he took it. 

"We have to go and help him.. Stevie." Eddie said quietly to the three women. "Come." He said to Kaj - and Kaj just growled softly, "Bossy.. fucker."

"Shut up." Eddie muttered to him - dragging him outside and then across the grass - and Kaj muttered, "Can you let go of me now?" But Eddie just ignored him - and Kaj held his hand a little tighter. What the fuck? They went inside the cabin, and Kaj felt Eddie finally let go of his hand. 

Kaj scooped Mina up and he carried her outside to Robin, who said softly - "...Is everything okay Kaj?" He nodded and kissed Robin's forehead. "I think so." He said softly, and then he went back inside.

Eddie had laid down with Steve, curled up beside him - and he gave Kaj a dark look - "...Well don't just stand there.." Kaj huffed softly and then he climbed into the bed, moving in behind Steve and Eddie sighed softly, muttering at him - "...Get over yourself."

"Screw you." Kaj said back - and Eddie just gave him a dark look, then he gently stroked Steve's face - whispering softly, "Stevie...wake up Sweetheart."

Kaj curled his fingers into Steve's hair and Eddie scented Steve, Kaj felt himself get all tense - not really happy about it and Eddie growled at him - "...If we can't put our shit aside, we won't help him."

"Well excuse me if I don't like you... fucking piece of shit." Kaj snarled back.

"W-what?" Steve mumbled softly, his eyes fluttered and he whispered weakly - "Kaj?" 

Kaj murmured, "Hey.. lille ulv, look... who I found?" He nuzzled Steve's cheek, he was still too cold - and Steve whispered, "Oh!" He turned his head - seeing Eddie, "Eddie! Dee.." He let out a soft little whimper, and Eddie murmured - "Hello my darling, my sweet boy.." Tears slid down Steve's face and he gasped out, "Kaj! You f-found him.." He breathed out shakily, and whispered against Kaj's mouth, "You.. found him..." Then he turned his face to Eddie and whispered shakily, "You.. you're here.."

Eddie whispered, "I'm here.." Steve pressed himself into Eddie, as close as he could - and Kaj breathed out softly - Steve curled his hand against Kaj's chest, but he whimpered tearfully - "Dee... Dee you're here.." Kaj felt his stomach do a strange little flip, and Eddie whispered - "You came back here? Hmm?" Steve whispered, "I felt sick, felt bad.. I... don't know.. Kaj came here too.." He whimpered again, and then Steve said shakily, "I thought you were dead, thought you had left me Eddie.. gone.. dead.. don't leave me.."

Tears were burning Kaj's eyes again, and he breathed out harshly - not sure why he kept crying every time Steve got so upset about Eddie.

"No.. no my sweet boy, my darling - I'm not dead, not gone.. I'm here." Eddie murmured softly - and Steve whispered, "Kaj told me... told me you would come back." He let out a shaky exhale, and Eddie murmured, "Did he?" Steve nodded yes, and then he said - "He told me you still love me.." 

"He was right, I love you - I will always love you.." Eddie said softly, and then they were kissing - Kaj curled his fingers against his own stomach, sitting up and looking away as they did - but Steve curled his fingers against Kaj's body and then he whimpered, "No.. don't leave Kaj, you.. promised." He breathed out slowly, and Eddie glanced at him briefly - but he gently pulled Steve up, and Steve pressed himself into Kaj, and whispered - "Don't...leave me you promised." Kaj whispered, "I'm not leaving you."

It was Eddie's turn to watch Kaj and Steve kiss - a deep, sweet kiss - and Steve whimpered softly, his cheeks flushed - as Kaj murmured - "Nobody is leaving you Stevie." 

Steve kissed him again softly, and then he shifted and crawled into Eddie's lap - pressing himself up into the older man and whimpering - Eddie curled his arms around Steve and he held him tightly. Kaj watched as Steve peppered Eddie's face with kisses, his eyes burning like liquid gold - and Eddie had his eyes closed, his fingers curled in against Steve's back, tangled in his hair. 

Kaj and Eddie's eyes met again briefly and Steve said softly - "...You're not killing each other." It wasn't a question, and Eddie said darkly - his voice soft, "Not yet no."

It was Kaj that let out a soft laugh, and Eddie smirked.

Steve looked from Eddie, to Kaj - he was blushing - shy and a little awkward and then he whispered, "I'm.. sorry."

Kaj said quietly, "We'll try not to kill each other."

"Try.. yes." Eddie said just as quietly.

Steve looked between the two of them - he looked guilty, and confused - he was feeling overwhelmed and shy - and Kaj knew it wasn't just him that picked up on it. Eddie murmured softly against Steve's ear, "Most important thing right now, is that you feel better.." 

Kaj couldn't have agreed more. 

Steve let out a soft little exhale, and then he whispered - "I'm still scared." He was staring at Eddie from under his lashes and then he said suddenly, "Eddie?"

Eddie murmured, "Yes my sweet boy?" He stroked his fingers against Steve's face gently, and Kaj could hear Steve's heart racing.

"Why are your.. eyes the same as Kaj's..." Steve's voice was soft, and a little bit breathless.

Kaj stayed quiet - but Steve had curled his fingers against Kaj's on the bed, wanting to having contact with him too it seemed. 

"...Because this is the real color of my Wolf eyes. My mother used magic to ...make them red." Eddie said softly.

Steve was looking at Eddie quietly, then his gaze landed on the White claw around Eddie's neck - tears welled up in his eyes and he whispered, "You're wearing the..." But he looked at Kaj, then at the obsidian black Claw. "What is that.." He whispered - shifting closer. Steve stared at them both and then he said softly - "Oh... oh my...vision.." Kaj's eyes met Eddie's and Eddie said softly, "Your vision?"

"Yeah... yeah when I was... with Vinny, when.. I dream walked for those two days.." Steve said softly, "I.. had a vision - you and Kaj.. were on two sides of the River, you both had two halves of the claw - you wanted to hurt each other, kill each other... I was the river... the necklace, it I put it together and wore both pieces...I wasn't broken anymore."

Kaj saw Eddie's fingers trembling against Steve's face - and then Eddie reached around his neck and took his one off. He said softly, "Kaj.."

He was surprised, knowing that Eddie hadn't wanted to have the two halves together - but that he wanted too, for Steve?

Kaj took his half off, and Eddie and him held them together. 

They snapped together like two magnets - and all three of them watched as they lit up - it was like a flowing "river" of magic materialized in the air around the two pieces and forged them into one. The sigils etched into them lighting up, and then it went still. Eddie put the necklace around Steve's neck, and Steve let out a soft keening noise in his throat - then he howled softly, Kaj felt his Wolf itching inside under his skin, and Eddie let out a deep rumbling growl.

Then all three of them howled together, and both Eddie and Kaj were nuzzling Steve at the same time - scenting him, and Steve curled his fingers into both of their hair. He scented them both, and then Eddie breathed out and scented Kaj, it made Kaj a little bit anxious at first - but then he scented Eddie back. The two of them nuzzling each others faces. Steve said softly, "I love you both." Eddie murmured against Steve's cheek, "I love you too."

Kaj let out a soft little noise in his throat, and then he kissed Steve's shoulder. "I love you Wolfie." He felt Steve breath out against his face, they stared at each other and Steve whispered - "...You and...Eddie you.. Bobby is your father too Kaj?" He didn't know how Steve knew that but he nodded yes - and Eddie murmured, "Kaj is our brother because of Bobby, and Mischa's because of Niklaus.." He looked at Kaj, "...We.. are family, seeing as none of us thought we had any.."

Steve whispered, "We're brothers too? Jesus... I'm fucking both of my brothers." He went bright red and Kaj let out a soft laugh, Eddie was smirking into Steve's hair and Steve drawled softly - "...I am such a pervert.." 

Eddie just said softly, "Oh well..." He didn't sound the least bit bothered, and Kaj - he wasn't either. Steve said softly - "You could pretend it is disturbing.. just.. a little bit." Eddie snorted softly, and then Steve laughed, hiding his face and Eddie smirked, "Sorry Darling, I don't have it in me to.. be bothered about it.." His gaze landed on Kaj, and he murmured, "I don't think Kaj is either.."

"Not.. really bothered at all actually." Kaj smirked and Steve looked at Kaj, "You're happy, you said you thought it was sexy about me and Eddie.." His voice soft, and Eddie raised his eyebrow, "Did he say that?" He asked Steve, who nodded yes, but he was blushing. "Hmm.. naughty." Eddie said and Kaj laughed softly, "Shut the hell up."

Eddie just laughed, and Steve smiled softly - he leaned into Eddie, but he held Kaj's hand and said softly - "We'll be okay?"

Kaj said softly, "Yeah.. yes lille ulv... we'll be okay.." He brought Steve's hand to his mouth, kissing his fingers and Eddie murmured softly - "We will try not to kill each other, and you.. get to be happy.. have everything you want..."

Steve lifted his head and whispered against Eddie's mouth - "You.. still want me?" Eddie whispered, "Don't ask such a silly question.." They were just staring at each other, and Kaj said softly - "Wolfie? I'm.. going to go.. hmmm, give you and Eddie some time alone." Steve said softly, "...Okay." He suddenly shifted, pressing himself into Kaj and he whispered, "I love you Kaj." Kaj said softly, "I love you too lille ulv..." Steve nuzzled his face, and then Kaj kissed him - Steve kissed him back - deep and slow and then Kaj whispered against his mouth, "I'll see you later."

He kissed Steve again softly, and then he got up and left the cabin - "Is everything okay?" Jonathan asked as Kaj got outside - "Yeah.. we need to let them have .. lets get out of here okay guys?" Kaj said quietly, and Robin muttered softly - "You're just... going too..." Kaj said softly, "Robbie, without Eddie... Steve will get sick, I know you're worried - I'm... still not a hundred percent happy - but... this is the way it is... Steve needs him, shit... that prick needs Steve."

Vicky said softly, "You're his mate too - aren't you, both of you are."

Kaj nodded and he said softly, "For whatever reason it worked out this way - yeah.. we both are. And... that bastard is my brother." Jonathan muttered softly - "So you're his brother as well?" Kaj laughed, "Yep.. Mischa's through my Dad, and.. I'm Steve and Eddie's through Bobby... Niklaus was technically my Mom." 

Robin let out a soft, "Oh holy shit! So Bobby knocked up Niklaus with you?" Kaj smirked - "Yeah.. ain't that something." They made their way back to the big house - "Wonder what Eddie looks like as a white Wolf instead of black? His mom changing his fur with magic - she was hiding everyone with magic." Kaj said softly, "Probably why Eddie and maybe Stevie have both been so broken."

"You.. feel feelings about Eddie, feel bad for him.. don't you." Robin said softly. 

Kaj sighed softly, "Yeah.. I.. fucking do the damn asshole sonofabitch."

"One thing though? If everyone is... getting along - everyone can be happy... right?" Ghost said softly, "You... can be happy, and Stevie.. maybe he can finally be happy."

"Maybe he'll feel safe and happy and wanna keep his Pup?" Jonathan said quietly, Kaj curled his arm around Jon's shoulder, "I'm hoping too Jonny." 

~***~

Steve stared up at Eddie, laying there quietly - "Eddie?" His voice was soft and the older man murmured, "Yes my Darling?" Steve shifted closer - breathing out soft against Eddie's face, "You're not leaving again are you?" Tears welled up in Steve's eyes and Eddie whispered, "No my sweet boy.. I'm not leaving, you don't want me too do you?"

"No.. please, don't leave me." Steve whispered, curling into Eddie he whispered again - "It... I don't want you to ever leave me." 

Eddie laid down over the top of Steve, staring down at him - "I won't leave you again, I promise.." He cradled Steve's face - breathing out softly, and he kissed Steve's face - kissing his tears away as they slid down his cheeks. He stroked his fingers under the thin cotton shirt - Steve's skin was so cold, and the younger man whimpered softly - "I thought.. you were dead, that they were all lying to me.. It hurt so much without you, I was...scared."

"You don't have to be scared anymore, I just went into the forest because I didn't want to be here.. I needed to be on my own.. without you I didn't want to be here.." Eddie said softly. 

Steve let out a shaky exhale, and then he whispered tearfully - "I... was going to leave the mountain Eddie, go... back into the city. I...was going to.." He went quiet - and Eddie stroked his fingers over Steve's belly, making Steve let out a harsh sob. 

Eddie whispered against his mouth, "..But then you got sick? Came here to find me.. didn't you?"

Steve nodded yes, and Eddie murmured - "Came to find me, so I could hold you... kiss you?" 

"Yes.. yes Eddie, and.. I.. wanted to feel safe, I.. didn't. Kaj was being an asshole. Kept telling me he wasn't gonna let me leave." Steve whispered it, and Eddie murmured, "He wasn't going to let.. you leave.. because he wanted to protect our pup."

Steve nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

"You weren't mad at him though were you.. just frightened. Then you got sick.." Eddie said softly, stroking his hands against Steve's tummy again and Steve whispered, "I.. passed out, Mischa.. helped me." 

Eddie curled Steve into his arms and held him closer, Steve said softly - "Then Kaj made me realize that.. that I love Mina, and Issy.. and that I am like a Mama to them.. and even to Jonathan."

"You.. are to Jonathan, is.. Mina the little one that was with you when I first got here?" Eddie asked softly.

Steve stared up at Eddie from under his lashes and whispered, "Yes, her.. mother died and her Father left her behind at the Rez, my Aunty.. my Mama Lyrena .. she takes care of her now."

Eddie slid his fingers into Steve's hair, gently stroking it and then he dragged his fingers against Steve's face, soothing gently - "You love it here, don't you.. with them all." Steve nodded and he whispered, "I love this place so much Eddie, it... feels like home, not just... them, but this place."

"That's because it is, its where you come from - where we all come from. Part of us.. but you? You come from here, it's inside you. You come from here Stevie. It's in you." Eddie murmured softly, he nuzzled Steve's throat, and whispered - "Do you want to stay here? Up here, either.. at the Rez - or.. maybe here at the compound? We could go back to Virginia.. get the dogs? Get Thatch and the others, and.. your things, my.. things.. come back here?"

Steve stared up at him quietly, and then he whispered - "You.. would do that? Stay up here, with me?"

"Of course I would, my family is up here too." Eddie said softly, then he murmured - "And you.. you're my family, I want to be wherever you want to be my sweet boy."

They stared at each other quietly, and Steve lowered his gaze - staying quiet, and then Eddie added softly - "You are worried about me and Kaj. I don't know what he said - but.. if he is willing to try and .. I will - I'll try and put up with him." He murmured, "I will try because I want you to be happy. If I have to learn to share you - then that's what I have to do. I just... I love you Stevie, youre my entire world, my reason for everything... and if you love him too, if... I mean he's.. part of you as well, I... will just have to accept it. If I love you, then I have to accept that he's a part of this as well."

Steve looked up at Eddie, tears in his eyes and he whispered - "You don't hate me, because I can't choose between you - because I love y-you both?"

"No.. I don't hate you, I love you my sweet boy.. my beautiful sweet boy." Eddie murmured softly. He kissed Steve deep and slow - their tongues slick and warm, meeting together and Steve whimpered softly - "You want to live up here? We... where would we live, here or.. on the Rez?" 

"We could live here, and go to the Rez whenever you want.." Eddie said softly. 

"And go and get the dogs, and our stuff from Virginia?" Steve said softly - he curled his fingers against Eddie's chest - but then he pressed in closer. "Yes my sweet boy. We can do that." Eddie said softly. 

Steve whispered, "I... want to do that Eddie." He let out a soft, shaky little breath - and then he whispered, "Eddie?'

"Yes my darling." Eddie murmured, gently gripping Steve's chin - he tilted his head, and Steve whispered - "D-Do you still want to marry me?"

Heat curled deep int Eddie's belly and he whispered, "Yes.. but...I thought you loved Kaj."

"I do... but.. I still want to be yours." Steve whispered against his mouth, "Can we even do that...are we allowed.." 

"We can do whatever the hell we want.." Eddie said huskily, "Our laws.. our ways... aren't Human laws... We can do whatever we want Stevie... Do you want to marry me?" 

"Yes... yes I want to marry you." Steve whispered, looking up at him from under his lashes.

Eddie smiled a soft little smile, and then he murmured - "Will you marry me Stevie Black."

Steve whispered tearfully, "Yes, yes I'll marry you Eddie Munson."

They kissed each other softly, feather light - and Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth - "Does this mean you're...going to have our...pup?"

Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth, "Yes Eddie, I'm going to have our sweet lil pup."

Eddie curled his arms around Steve, and they held each other tightly - both of them had tears streaming down their faces and Eddie whispered, "I'll take care of you both, I promise you Steven - my sweet beautiful boy. You're going to be the best Mama.. so brave and strong.." Steve let out a soft sweet little noise in his throat and Eddie let out a deep rumbling growl. "We'll both protect our sweet lil pup." Eddie murmured softly, "It'll have the biggest pack, and so much love.. we'll give it everything that we never had." 

Steve whispered tearfully, "I love you Eddie."

Eddie murmured softly, "I love you too Stevie, so much.. I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you just how much."

Chapter Text

It was raining, the mist heavy and hanging in the air - it clung to Steve's hair as he sat on the porch outside the house. He'd gone back to the Rez, with Kaj and Lyrena and the others. Eddie was still up at the compound, but Steve wanted to go back to the Rez. He wanted to be with his pack for a little while - at the house where he felt connected to Lyrena. 

She was only too happy to have him close, the two of them had been cuddled up together, along with tiny Mina. They had finally braided Steve's hair - he had the Crow feathers and beads in it now, the made a soft little clacking noise when he moved his head - the feathers were inky black, tinged with a little bit of blue. 

Steve had a thin wisp of white that had shown up in his hair over night, it was braided into the braid - but it was obvious in his hair - it stuck out, like a lightning strike. Nobody knew why it was there, why it had appeared. Kaj was quiet, and Steve felt like maybe he was hurting - he didn't like it, and was scared - scared that he was hurting and it was Steve's fault. 

He had snuck out of the bed, leaving Mina curled up with Lyrena, and come outside. He was breathing in the misty damp air, and Kaj stepped outside with him. The other man curled his arms, and a thick blanket around them both - nuzzling his face, scenting Steve and he murmured softly, "Why are you out here lille ulv, it's cold and wet.."

He let out a soft little noise in his throat, and then said softly - "I couldn't sleep Kaj, I wanted some air."

Kaj let out a soft little rumbling growl, and then he murmured, "Are you fretting again Wolfie?"

Steve said softly, "No...maybe? Worried you're hurting, you've been quiet." He shifted, curling his arms around Kaj - he buried his face in against Kaj's chest - and Kaj shifted the blanket, wrapping it around Steve, and he murmured - "No, just.. I uh.. I heard Lyrena and Mischa talking about the fact that Eddie asked them to prepare things for.. a handfasting? So you and him, you're going to marry him?" 

Steve let out a soft exhale, and he lifted his head - they stared at each other, and Kaj whispered - "You...you're going to marry him?" Tears welled up in Kaj's eyes, and he looked away - hurt. Steve bit his lip, and then he whispered, "Kaj..."

Kaj closed his eyes tightly, and then he said with a whisper - "I.. It's fine. You love him, you should.. Marry him." Steve felt his heart ache, breaking - he whispered, "Kaj..." Kaj kissed his forehead, and then he started to pull away, but Steve whimpered - "No.. no Kaj!" Kaj stared down at him, and Steve reached up - "Please... please don't.." Kaj breathed out hot against his face, and he said hoarsely - "I don't think I can do this Steve, I... don't think I know how to do this.." Steve let out a pained whimper, and he pulled Kaj's head down closer - "Don't, don't do this... please, please Kaj... please don't... don't pull away from me, please... I can't without you either, I know I'm being selfish.. I need you as well, I need you.. don't you need me too?"

He let out a heavy exhale, and Kaj said hoarsely - "I need you like I need air to breathe, I need you... I love you, I just don't know how to do this.." Tears slid down his face and he said shakily - "I am trying, but you're going to marry him, have his name.. where does that leave me? You're having his pup, where does that leave me? What do I have that is ours.." Steve let out a shaky exhale, and he whispered - "We.. can have a pup too." Kaj let out a soft exhale, and he murmured - "You.. would want a pup with me as well?" Steve let out a soft little whimper, "Yes.." He whispered it, and Kaj murmured - "You didn't even want this one lille ulv.."

Steve said shakily, "Because I was so afraid Kaj, because.. everything scared me so much - because Eddie scared me, he hurt me and I was terrified of everything. Scared of myself. I've been scared of everything my whole life. But... being here. Having you, having.. everything here? Having a family, ...part of me is still afraid, I can't just magic that away but I'm trying to not be afraid. You all loving me, makes it easier to be brave. Please don't leave me Kaj, don't give up on me. I'm trying, I'm trying to be brave." Tears slid down his face and Steve whispered shakily, "I want... want to be a good Mama, you told me I am to Mina, to Issy... that I am to Jonah..."

Kaj said softly, "You are... you are Wolfie, and you will be to the little one in your Belly - you really would have my pups too?" He cradled Steve's face, and Steve whispered - "Yes.. I would, if you want that too.. yes Kaj." Kaj let out a soft little rumble, and Steve whispered - "Why...can't we get.. married too?" Kaj stared down at him quietly, and then he murmured - "You do know that technically I'm Kaj Munson and not Valentin.." Steve nodded yes - and Kaj actually smirked, Steve felt the heat in his cheeks, and Kaj whispered - "You've already been thinking about that anyway... haven't you."

Steve nodded yes again, and Kaj murmured - "Have you told him, Eddie.." Steve said softly, "No.. but.. I love you Kaj, I love you and I am not giving you up - Eddie knows that I am not giving you up either. I refuse too. I can't... don't you know that?" Kaj let out a soft exhale, and he whispered - "You mean everything to me Stevie Black. You always have, ever since we first met... ever since you punched my face and knocked me out cold." Steve let out a soft laugh, and Kaj grinned down at him. "Are you asking me to marry you?" Kaj murmured softly.

"Yes, Kaj Munson - will you marry me?" Steve whispered it against Kaj's mouth, and Kaj said softly - "Yes Stevie Black, I'll marry you - and Eddie can kiss my giant ass if he doesn't approve." 

Steve snickered softly, and Kaj let out a deep husky laugh - lifting Steve into his arms, Steve curled his legs around Kaj's waist and Kaj murmured, "I love you my sweet little Wolfie."

"I love you too Spooky, hmm.. big and strong. Giant blud." He whispered and Kaj snorted softly, before nipping at his jaw. Steve let out a soft little giggle and Kaj smiled - he murmured, "Shall we put on our fur and catch some breakfast?" Steve nodded yes, and Kaj murmured, "Ja? A nice juicy deer?"

Steve laughed softly, and then he whispered, "Ja.. a nice juicy deer, or... a tricksy rabbit.." Kaj laughed softly and then he said softly - "Lets chase each other in the rain hmm?" He took the blanket off Steve's shoulders, and stroked his fingers down Steve's back. Steve shivered and then he eased his pants down off his hips and shifted into his fur. He tip-toe pranced off the porch and Kaj laughed at him, shifting into his fur too, the brushed against each other and both ran into the treeline.

They chased each other through the dense woods - through the undergrowth. Running together side by side - and they were not really hunting anything - just happy to be in their fur together, together and happy. They crossed over from the Rez territory - into the compound, and Kaj's glowing vibrant eyes met his. Steve snuffed at the ground with his nose and Kaj said to him in his head, Lille ulv can you smell that? I think Eddie's near..

Yes, I smell him too... Steve wagged his tail - and Kaj brushed up against him. Kaj let out a soft, little rumble - but then he stopped and just stared. Steve lifted his head - and he let out a sweet, mournful little keening howl. Because Eddie was magnificent. 

He had been beautiful before. But now? Unbound by the magic Evangeline had used to hide him?

Eddie was White as snow - whiter than white. He was as big as Kaj, maybe not quite as bulky - eyes the same vibrant piercing blue. But he tip-toed like Steve, moving silent as a ghost. He approached them, rubbing up against Kaj first - scenting him, and then he bowed his head down to Steve - then licked at his face and wagged his tail - he let out a deep rumble, and then howled - it was beautiful, howling a sweet beautiful howl, that made Steve join in - and then Kaj followed the two of them. The three of them baying together. 

Eddie said to them both, Hunting for breakfast are we?

Kaj laughed inside their heads, and Eddie stomped at the ground with his paw - laughing with Kaj. Steve wagged his tail, and Kaj actually rubbed himself up against Eddie and nipped him softly - Eddie playfully nipped him back and they chased each other a little - it made Steve happy, and he bounced.

Tip-toeing and then prancing over they were both licking him, scenting him and Steve whimpered happily - he licked at Eddie, then at Kaj - and then something happened that Steve didn't mean to happen, he was getting aroused - getting wet. He panted softly, his pussy so wet that he whimpered and then tried to move away. 

Eddie moved in close, and then he let out a soft - rumbling growl, and he mounted Steve from behind - biting down against his neck, his cock buried inside him - Steve's voice whispered inside Eddie's head, Eddie...oh..god I'm sorry.. stop..

Eddie fucked into him, rutting his cock as he pinned him down against the damp leaves. While Kaj watched him do it. Eddie said inside his head:  I can't... you smell so good, my sweet Boy..

Steve whimpered, sweet - soft little whimpers, and Eddie bit against the back of his neck - then he growled softly, his voice dirty and soft:  Kaj...he's so wet, come...fuck..him too.. Kaj just looked at them, he looked at Eddie, and then he moved in closer - Eddie let out a soft little growl, rutting his cock into Steve a few more times, and then he let go - and Kaj growled softly, Eddie gave him a soft nip - and Kaj mounted Steve, his cock hard, and leaking sticky precum - Steve let out another whimper, as Kaj buried his cock into Steve's wet pussy, and fucked into him hard - deep, Kaj's voice inside his head, You feel so good lille ulv, so good.. fuck.. 

Eddie was watching them, vibrant eyes burning bright - and Steve whined softly - pushing his body back - Eddie shifted back into his skin. And Steve let out  a shaky moan - shifting back into his skin too, with Kaj still in his fur. "Dirty.. boy.." Eddie said huskily, and Steve moaned out breathlessly - "Oh... oh it feels so good.. Kaj.." He stared at Eddie and whimpered, "Eddie.." Eddie murmured, "You like his Wolf cock in your pussy...hmm?" 

Kaj shifted into his skin, growling out softly - "Fuck sake.." He gripped Steve's hips, and Steve moaned out dirty and breathless - "Yes.. yes I loved it.." He whimpered as Kaj growled against his ear, "Yeah?" Steve tilted his head back and whimpered against Kaj's mouth, "Yes... it got.. so deep.."

Kaj growled soft against his mouth, "You're filthy, I love you.." Steve gasped out as Kaj pounded his cock deep inside him, his eyes liquid Gold - "I love you... I love you, harder...fuck.. me harder.." He whimpered as Eddie moved in closer - he curled his fingers against Steve's face, and said softly, "You're so beautiful like this, aren't you... desperate for it.. begging for Kaj to ruin you."

Eddie's fingers gripped his hair tightly, and Kaj growled softly - "Jesus.." His gaze flicked to Eddie, and Eddie smirked - but then he murmured, "He is a dirty boy.. aren't you my darling."

Steve whimpered, "Yes.. yes Daddy.." Kaj breathed out sharply, and Steve whimpered - "Please.. fuck.. fuck..." Eddie growled out - "I want a turn.."

Kaj pulled out, slapped Steve's ass and Eddie said huskily, "Come here.." Steve trembled, but he crawled on his hands and knees and Eddie tugged him into his lap - Steve cried out as Eddie turned him around, and then buried his cock into Steve almost viciously. 

Steve pulled Kaj in close, staring up at him - as Eddie pounded his cock into his pussy - Kaj tangled his fingers into Steve's hair, and Steve whimpered - "Oh ...fuck.." His eyes rolled into his head, and Eddie kept thrusting his cock, hitting Steve's spot, and Steve sucked Kaj's cock into his mouth - sucking him all the way in.

Eddie growled out, "Such a greedy sweet Boy.. wanting all the cock." Kaj groaned deeply, and Eddie gave Steve's ass a slap.

Steve dug his fingers into Kaj's ass, staring up at him - and Kaj said huskily, "I'm going to cum..swallow it all down.. fuck.. so pretty.." Steve whimpered around Kaj's cock, and Eddie let out a soft moan, he said to Kaj suddenly - "You can still cum inside him, if you can hold on.."

Steve saw Kaj look at Eddie - and Kaj cradled Steve's face, pulling out of his mouth - he shifted, and then growled softly - "I can wait..." Steve panted softly, and Eddie pulled out of his body - Steve gasped as Eddie suddenly pulled out and then he said huskily, "I'll let Kaj cum in your pussy..."

Kaj breathed out heavily and they swapped places, Eddie stared down at Steve - and then he said dirtily, his voice breathless, "Open that pretty mouth for Daddy." Steve whimpered, and then he let out a shaky moan as Kaj buried his cock deep - he just stared up at Eddie, crying out as he felt his pussy gush wet with slick - Kaj moaned deeply, and Eddie breathed out heavily, "Fuck smell it... how does he keep getting so wet, so slick when he's already got a pup in his belly.." 

Kaj just growled out dirty, "Maybe he's gonna have mine in there too.." Steve felt Kaj's knot - and he dug his fingers into the dirt - crying out - feeling like the air was being punched out of his body - Eddie rubbed his cock against Steve's mouth and Steve sucked it back inside - eyes rolling closed he sucked Eddie's cock as best as he could, but Eddie fucked his mouth instead - and Steve's scent was all heady and rich - so full of arousal and happiness.

He was surrounded by both of his mates, by love from them both - and oddly enough - both Kaj and Eddie were happy too, and sharing wasn't an issue. Steve felt Eddie cum down his throat, and he swallowed happily. While Kaj's knot pumped his pussy full of cum. Wave after wave of it pulsing inside him. 

Eddie eased his cock out of Steve's mouth, and then he shifted, cradling Steve's head and Steve looked up at him - Eddie stared down at him - stroking his hair - Kaj was stroking his hands against Steve's back, the three of them falling quiet - and Steve gasped out softly, "...I ....I love you both so much."

He was trembling, he curling his fingers up against Eddie's legs - staring up at him, and Kaj leaned down - kissing his back, he said huskily, "I love you too."

He breathed out slightly heavily - and Eddie murmured, "I love you too Steven, hmm my sweet boy." Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat, and then he just stared up at Eddie, he looked at him from under his lashes.

Eddie's eyes were dark, and Steve kissed Eddie's fingers - his gaze met Kaj's and Kaj kissed his skin - Steve saw Kaj look up at Eddie, and he heard Eddie say, "Well you might be there a while.." Amused - and Kaj let out a soft little snort, before smirked against Steve's skin.

"Shut up Eddie." Kaj muttered, and Steve blushed - he looked at Eddie, "...Are... you leaving?" Eddie murmured, "Do you want me to stay? Steve nodded yes, and he murmured - "Then I'll stay." Kaj looked at Steve, then he lifted Steve up, so he was sitting in his lap - Steve let out a soft little noise - they couldn't go anywhere - but Kaj shifted them closer to Eddie.

Eddie moved closer to both of them and Steve let out a soft little noise, he was trapped in Kaj's lap - surrounded by the two of them. Eddie said quietly, "I guess we should be trying to spend a bit more time together." That wasn't directed at Steve, and Kaj muttered softly, "I suppose." Steve said softly, "Eddie..." Eddie said softly, "Yes my Darling boy?"

Kaj stroked his fingers against Steve's belly, curling them against his chest and he kissed Steve's shoulder - Steve's eyes fluttered closed as Kaj's knot released more cum into his pussy. Eddie just watched Steve's face, watching as bliss washed over him - Kaj let out a soft little rumble - "Kaj...and I.. we... we are going to get married.. too.."

Kaj's grip got a little tighter. Eddie murmured softly, "Well technically he's a Munson too, so.." Kaj let out a soft little rumbling laugh, because he'd said the exact same thing.

Steve stared at Eddie - "He said the same thing, I swear you both share the same brain.. same.. thoughts.." 

Eddie just smirked and then murmured, "Well we are brothers."

Kaj looked at Eddie over Steve's shoulder and then he kissed Steve's skin. 

"We are also both Father Wolf, so... maybe we are the same.. who knows." Kaj said softly, and Steve said softly, "How does that work... you're both, my Fa.. my beloved. My mates."

Eddie said quietly, "I don't know.. Maybe you just created two of us, because you wanted extra protection. I don't care anymore.. about why. Just that.. we have you." 

Kaj let out a soft exhale into Steve's hair - and Steve whispered - "I love you so much, both of you - I... don't know how to not love either of you." Eddie leaned in and he murmured, "And you don't have to stop loving either of us, okay?" Steve nodded yes, and Eddie murmured - "For whatever reason, it is what it is.." He kissed Steve softly, and Kaj added - "It is what it is." Repeating Eddie's words. 

Eddie said softly, "And you should marry Kaj too, we'll all be Munson's.. or we could all become Blacks.. I don't mind." Steve stared at Eddie - "You'd become a Black?"

"Well our Father was a Black?" Eddie said softly, "Crazy... but then we're both crazy?" He laughed softly - and Kaj snorted and then laughed - "...I'm not even a Munson - well half a Munson - but yeah we could be Blacks.."

Steve said softly, "Do you both want to be Black's instead?" 

Kaj murmured, "Then you'd still be Stevie Black, and we'd just change ours.. I don't mind being Kaj Black.." He looked at Eddie, "What about you fuckface." 

Eddie raised an eyebrow, "Dr. Eddie Black - I can live with it.." Steve and Kaj both snorted and scoffed - "Trust you to throw the Doctor in there." Steve said teasingly and Kaj snickered. 

"We're sitting in the forest naked and you're both mocking me using my official title? That's a little bit rich." Eddie said snootily. Which made both Steve and Kaj laugh more - Kaj curled his arms around Steve - "The snooty bitch." Kaj huffed out laughing, and Steve said - "La-de-dah.."

Eddie growled out softly, "Little shits." They were all laughing and Steve giggled softly, he whimpered though - and Kaj gently eased Steve out of his lap - He blushed, and Steve turned and then pulled Kaj into a kiss. 

Kaj breathed out against Steve's mouth, and he murmured softly - "So.. are we officially to become Black pack members?" Steve nodded yes - and then he curled his fingers against Eddie's face. "Yes..." Eddie nodded, "Yes, my sweet boy... and yes.. turdbag."

Steve pouted, "Can you use nicer names for each other than fuckface and turdbag?"

Both Kaj and Eddie said at the same time, "No, not yet." Then they laughed, and Steve said softly - "...But you're both my sweet Boys... my love's.." He gave them both sad - sweet puppy eyes, and drawled softly, "My Darlin's... my sweet honey's..."

Kaj groaned softly, "...Why do you have to use the sweet eyes..."

Eddie growled softly, "Be strong Kaj.. resist them."

Kaj laughed and he muttered, "You might be able too... look at his face, that sweet beautiful face..." He gently stroked his fingers against Steve's face and then he murmured, "I can't resist him."

Eddie said quietly, "You're hopeless." He laughed though and then he added softly - "It is hard to resist. Fine - what do you want me to call him instead?"

Kaj eyed Eddie giving him the side-eye, and Steve said sweetly, "Call him Pookie." Eddie growled -"Absolutely not." Kaj huffed out a laugh, and Eddie smirked - "No way, the closet think I might call him is Punkass.."

Steve pouted, and Eddie shook his head - Kaj laughed, "What do you want me to call fuckface." Steve gave Kaj those sweet puppy eyes, and then he said softly - "Ed's.. call him Ed's."

Kaj nodded, "Fine.. I can live with that.." Steve gave Kaj a sweet kiss, and then he looked over his shoulder at Eddie, his voice soft - "Spooky... call Kaj Spooky."

"Spooky.." Eddie said in his lilting voice, "Fine.."

Steve said softly, drawling - "Fine then.. Ed's and Spooky.. Mhmm.. my sweet boys.. no more fuckface and turdbag.." Eddie and Kaj gave each other the side eye again an Steve whispered, "Mhmm.. no more nasty.. okay?"

Kaj nodded yes, and Steve gave him a soft - sweet kiss, "My sweet Spooky.." And then he pulled Eddie in close, "My sweet Daddy Ed's." Eddie let out a rumbling soft growl, "You're the sweet one, sweet beautiful boy.." Kaj had his fingers in Steve's hair and he murmured, "So sweet little Wolfie." 

Steve said softly, "We should get...going.. because if we don't... we're not going to leave the woods.." He licked against Eddie's mouth, and then he whispered against Kaj's, "I.. am.. getting all worked up again.. you're both driving me crazy.." Eddie said softly - "You're being a very naughty boy this morning Steven." Kaj said softly, "You're making him naughty Edward." Eddie let out a soft little chuckle, and Kaj smirked against Steve's mouth, before kissing him deeply. Steve was left all breathless - and he gasped out, "You're doing a good job of it yourself Spooky."

Eddie pulled away slowly, and he murmured - "Lets catch some breakfast.." He shifted into his fur again - and Steve curled his fingers into the thick white softness of Eddie's fur - and he didn't know why he did it, but he took Kaj's hands and whispered - "Feel it... feel his fur.." He pulled Kaj's hands with his - and Kaj let out a soft breath, the two of them tangling their hands in it. Kaj murmured against Steve's ear, "You...liked me inside you in my fur?" Steve whispered, "Yes... Kaj.."

Eddie turned and licked Steve's face, and then he licked Kaj too - Kaj let out a soft exhale - and then he kissed Steve's shoulder - but he shifted back into his fur too. Steve stroked his fingers into Kaj's fur as well and he said softly, "You're both so beautiful... you look almost exactly the same." The only differences was that maybe Kaj was a little bit bigger. Steve shifted back into his fur - and Kaj said inside Steve's head: You have a white strip down your back.. like lightning.

Steve said softly, It's in my hair now too - it showed up after I put the new claw necklace on. I think its from the two of you.. its you, with me. It's like how Robin has her streak of fire - she's a part of Vicky. You're both a part of me. He rubbed himself up against the two of them - and then he raced off into the woods - the two of them darting behind him, the three of them running together. 

Chapter Text

Kaj was sitting alone deep in thought, contemplating just how fucking crazy everything actually was. He didn't really know how things had gone from zero to five thousand speed in the blink of an eye - he'd just been going through the motions, the past ten months - a blank of nothingness. When he'd received that phone call? He hadn't hesitated in going to Steve's side, but he'd never even considered how things would shift, how the inertia would spin the entire fucking world off its axis and spend him catapulting into a place of complete and utter change. It was a good thing he was built for change he supposed - otherwise he'd be a complete fucking disaster by now. 

He was watching the kids playing - it was raining again - it seemed to rain a lot up here, and the more time they'd been up on the mountain? The more Kaj got used to it. The kids were playing out in the rain - splashing in the big puddles, playing with the dogs. There were always dogs running around - sometimes nipping at the heels of some of the kids. Sometimes looking for a lazy scratch behind the ears - dogs always liked Kaj, much like they always seemed to like Steve. They radiated to Steve like Bee's to a flower. Kaj let out a soft, little rumbling chuckle. Steve Black. The younger man was Kaj's best friend, his brother (literally now), and his entire fucking reason for even being alive still.

Nobody but the two of them knew the trials of fire they'd endured. Not really. Growing up in the system had been tough, tougher than you might even imagine. It forged you into a soldier whether you wanted to be one or not. Either that or it forged you into something else. A broken down ruin. Unfortunately for Steve Black - it had been the latter. Kaj had been the soldier for them both, and he hadn't minded stepping into that role - because it was ingrained into his bones, deep into his psyche. Kaj was built to be a soldier - he knew it from the time he was a small boy. He had a stoic quiet stillness. Not much phased him, he just got on with things, focused on whatever task it was that needed doing.

But the shit that had happened recently? That had taken its toll on him. The cracks had started to show. Slowly at first, but they were there now - cracks that had allowed the years of ignoring the trauma of burying it, of hiding it - to slowly but surely start to seep out. He had started to come undone when Steve got shot, when he thought he was going to die from the silver coursing through his veins. When he was stained with Steve's blood on his hands and soaked into his clothes. When he hadn't wanted to leave his side, when he'd then been taken by Eddie and Kaj had searched everywhere for him - only to not find him. The cracks got bigger, and Kaj slowly started to come undone. 

And then of course came the revelation that Steve was carrying Eddie's pup in his Belly, that Steve still loved the older man. That they were all by some fucking cruel twist of fate intertwined in an even more fucked up way. That Kaj was the bi-product of Bobby Black and Niklaus Munson being intimately involved? That the two men had been having an intimate relationship? Where did the women all fit in? Had Bobby and Niklaus been using them as some kind of cover to hide how they felt? Kaj figured it was probably highly likely. Back then, it hadn't really been an accepted thing to be queer - and he highly doubted it had been even amongst their kind, even as open as Uratha were now.

So everything started with Evangeline and Niklaus Munson. 

Mischa was the daughter of Evangeline and Niklaus (who were brother and sister). After they came to America and had Mischa? They met Bobby Black who raped Evangeline and got her pregnant with Eddie.

Niklaus and Bobby obviously had some twisted obsession with each other in secret. Because even though Bobby met Elena Harrington? He'd already gotten Niklaus Munson pregnant with Kaj - Niklaus met Katija Valentin - they raised Kaj together. 

Niklaus and Bobby must have been secretly still seeing each other - the two of them had eleven year old Eddie meet Kaj and Steve when they were both Babies? Kaj would have been a year old when Steve was only first born. Why did they have such a complicated relationship? Why had Eddie as a child been given the burden and responsibility of being told that he had to protect the secrets of their families? That someday he'd meet them both - and he was meant to keep everyone safe? 

Because it seemed, that it had driven the older man insane over time. Maybe driven him to do and become the twisted fucked up monster that he was. Because Kaj didn't give a fuck what anyone said - Eddie was still a fucking monster. Even if he did make Kaj feel shit he didn't want to feel. He was still a monster. You couldn't just undo and bury all the bullshit that he'd done, and Kaj couldn't pretend that he suddenly trusted him either. 

He didn't trust him, and he didn't like feeling empathy towards him. No - Kaj wanted to keep holding onto the hate.

Hate meant that he'd keep his guard up. 

Anger meant he wouldn't be fooled into any kind of sense that the man could be trusted. Steve still needed to be protected from him. Even if Steve didn't want to believe that. Kaj would believe it for him. 

Kaj had left Steve up at the compound with Jonathan, Issy and the two girls. Ghost and Michael? They'd come back to the Rez with him, and Vinny - Vinny was a sweet kid. Even though he wasn't really a kid, he was three years younger than Kaj, but he had a sweetness - he seemed to have an unspoken loyalty to Kaj and he wasn't quite sure why that was? But he liked it all the same. It was the same with Ghost and Michael, Kaj knew that neither of them liked or trusted Eddie. Ghost stayed quiet whenever the older man was around, he tended to stick incredibly close to Michael - Michael watched everyone like a silent brooding sentry.

His black eyes missing nothing, taking in everything. Ghost and Michael were extremely over-protective of Steve, Kaj also picked up on a little bit of sexual feelings - which wasn't hard to miss. It hummed there in the background, and it didn't really bother Kaj? But he knew that if Eddie knew about that it could potentially create a problem. So Kaj figured at some point he might need to mention to them to just be careful about it. Just to be careful. Steve as far as Kaj knew, had only ever been with Eddie and himself. 

Kaj had only ever been sexually involved with Steve. He wasn't sure about the Creeper. It amused him to no end that Vinny still called him Uncle Creeper - Vinny didn't bother to hide his distain for Eddie at all. And especially not around Kaj. It was weird too - the entire thing about him and Eddie both being Father Wolf. How did that actually work? Why were they meant to both be the same entity - God or whatever you wanted to call it, in two separate bodies. Was that even really a thing? Was it possible? Kaj wasn't entirely sure.

As he sat watching the kids playing in the rain, Kaj's fingers were idly stroking over the scar he had from the Wolfsbane attack. It had probably left behind a little bit of damage - whenever it was cold, which it was a little bit with all the rain and damp hanging around. It ached a little - sometimes it ached deep into his bones. Which it was actually doing right then. Giving him a bit of grief - Kaj let his eyes close and he breathed out softly - letting out a small pained grunt. 

Michael came and sat beside him, his long legs sprawling out in front of him. Kaj didn't need to open his eyes to know that the other man was there. 

"Does it hurt?" Michael asked quietly, and Kaj grunted softly - then he said, "Ja.. hurts like a bitch right now." His voice a little gruff - it was part of the reason why he wasn't sleeping, the other reason was the noise in his head was loud, too chaotic - maybe the cracks were letting too much of his bullshit out. Kaj's eyes opened, and Michael offered him a cigarette. Kaj took one and leaned in as Michael lit both his, and his own. "Can I ask you something?" Michael said, as he took a drag and then slowly exhaled - eyeing Kaj through the haze of blue smoke.

"Ja.. sure, you can ask me anything." Kaj replied, taking a drag of his own and then watching the rain as it got heavier - the pups scattering off to go inside, not wanting to play in it anymore. 

Beside him, Michael let out a slightly heavy exhale - "Are you doing okay? Really?" Michael asked quietly, and Kaj looked at him. Michael suddenly touched his arm - and he said, "I just I've noticed that you put on a brave face, you smile - you act like everything is okay. You laugh when you're supposed to laugh. I've seen you with Stevie, with everyone else.. but I feel like maybe you're not really okay - and I just want you to know? That if you need to talk, if you're not okay - you want to get that shit off your chest and vent? I'm here for you Kaj. I can be your sounding board if you need someone to listen."

Kaj let out a heavy exhale of breath, tears burned his eyes - and he said hoarsely, "...How the fuck did you even know?"

Michael smiled a small little smile, "Years of being with Ghost, I learned to read people around me I guess? We both know that you're in pain and you're always carrying the weight of the world on those big ass shoulders of yours. I want you to know, that me and Will - we can help you. Carry that weight if it gets too much for you. Our loyalty? It's with you, you and Stevie.. I.." Michael sighed softly taking a drag on his smoke, "...I don't like Eddie, and Ghost - he doesn't.." He pushed his hair behind his ear - "I don't have to tell you right?"

Kaj nodded, and he murmured - "Ghost doesn't like him."

"Ghost doesn't ever say that he doesn't like someone, I don't think he has a darkness in him Kaj - but he has... a way of seeing the world, seeing people." Kaj suddenly held Michael's hand and the other man said even softer, "Ah.. oh you see it .. things like he does." 

Kaj nodded - "One foot in, one foot out.. same as Ghost." 

Michael let out a soft laugh - "So Spooky and Ghost - our two resident psychics huh?"

Kaj let out a laugh too and Michael squeezed his hand - "Stevie had a vision, a dream about the two of you - did you know that?" Kaj asked softly - and Michael shook his head no. "Yeah... he did - he.. I think he has a foot in and a foot out too, but... when it comes to him. He has a blind spot, and there is nothing I can do about it." Kaj's voice was softer, a little bit pained.

"I know - Ghost pretty much said the same thing, lets just hope - hope that nothing fucked up happens again right? We can... make sure that it doesn't." Michael said quietly, he squeezed Kaj's hand again - "You know Vinny is shit man - he's a good guy, right? He's your nephew - he said that his friend from Arizona is arriving later today - Tonka." 

Kaj let go of Michael's hand, raking his hand through his hair - which was currently out and not in a braid. "Ja, Tonka Rainleaf - he said that he has a lot of old books and information - passed down from his Grandfather Jacob. I'm hoping there's something in there that will be useful for.. finding out more.." Kaj said quietly, finishing off his smoke - he flicked the butt into the big tin that was between him and Michael.

"You're okay with Stevie being up there... without you?" Michael asked - as he did the same thing with his smoke.

Kaj nodded, "Yeah.. he's up there with Jon and Issy, and Robin and Vicky." He rubbed his scar again - and Michael was watching him quietly, "And your down here with us - waiting for Tonka." Kaj smiled, "Mhmm Ja.. waiting for Tonka."

Ghost came out onto the porch, a blanket wrapped around him - "Hey... thought I hear you two talking out here." He rubbed his eyes - and then he slid into Michael's lap - curling into him and sliding his fingers into Michael's hair. Kaj smiled at them - his eyes crinkling at the edges. Ghost gave him a big smile, "I love it when you smile Kaj, your entire face lights up." Ghost told him softly and then he reached out and held out his hand.

Kaj took Ghost's hand, and the other man said softly - "You okay Honey?" Michael let out a soft little chuckle, "Yes Baby boo - he's okay I already checked in." Ghost looked at Michael, and then he huffed out softly, "I'm checking in for myself if you don't mind Michael.. rude." Kaj laughed softly, and he murmured - "Ja Ghost, I'm feeling a bit better - now.."

Ghost smiled, he said softly - "You sure? Hmm you're our favorite." Kaj grinned at Ghost, who grinned back and then he said darkly - "Fucking Uncle Creeper.." Ghost didn't swear very often, Mina came outside, holding her stuffed Bunny - "Hello my tiny Princesse." Kaj said to her as she tip-toed past Ghost and Michael and then came right up to his chair. Kaj scooped her up and she said softly, "Spooky I had a bad dream." Her eyes all teary, and Kaj said softly, "Oh noe? You did?" She nodded - Ghost was watching them, and Kaj said - "Do you need some cuddles?" Mina nodded again and Kaj scooped her up into his lap.

She sniffled, her bottom lip quivering - and Kaj said softly, "My sweet tiny Button, you don't have to be afraid I'll keep you safe ja? You can go to sleep right here if you want." Mina said softly, "Okay Daddy." Ghost was having a melting moment, and Michael let out a soft little chuckle - Mina snuggled into him and Kaj said softly, "I love you tiny Button." He held her close, scenting her - sweet cotton candy and wildflowers, Mina said sleepily - "Love you too Spooky, you chase the shadow men away." Kaj frowned, and then he said softly - "You were dreaming about Shadow men?"

Mina whispered, "They tried to hurt you.. they tried to take you away.. please don't leave me Daddy. I was too little to help you - but.. I put on my fur, in my dream.. I was too little." She said sleepily. Kaj's gaze met Ghost's - Mina fell asleep against him, and he murmured softly, "...I think Mina may be close to waking, her Wolf - she told me that she could smell Steve's scent, and now... now she's dreaming about putting on her fur, dreaming about Shadow men.."

"She's so tiny though? How...is that even possible?" Ghost had tears in his eyes - Michael cradled Ghost's face - Kaj realized, that Ghost was frightened - he held his hand out and the other man said shakily - "I've.... dreamed about these... Shadow Men Kaj, ...I..." Ghost had his eyes closed, and Michael said softly - "Baby... tell us?" Kaj moved, still holding Mina he sat beside Michael and Ghost - resting his hand against Ghost's back gently.

"They.. set everything on fire.. destroyed everything, took Steve.." Ghost was looking, but not seeing them - "...It doesn't mean it will happen, sometimes my dreams are just ... warnings about danger." He blinked slowly, "I haven't dreamt anything for a long time - but... Mina, she is so tiny..." 

Kaj said softly, "If she does wake - she'd be one of the youngest I know of. Maybe its because of everything - it's triggered it. She'll be okay she has all of us - but yes, it is... very young. As for your dreams... Mina... dreaming about them too." Kaj gently stroked his fingers against Ghost's face - "...Let's just be aware, not try to .. worry unless we have too. Take care of each other. Keep watch for anything potentially dangerous.. I'll keep watch." He murmured.

Michael said softly, "Shit never comes easy does it."

Kaj let out a soft little chuckle, "Unfortunately not.." He let his eyes close - and Ghost said softly - "You're tired, you need to get some sleep Kaj... you need to eat and look after yourself. Please?" Kaj lifted his head, and Ghost said softly - "You.. need to take care of yourself, the entire world isn't your burden alone to carry."

Kaj's gaze met Michael's and Michael smiled, "I told you.." He murmured and Ghost said softly - "What did you tell him Michael." He nuzzled his nose against Michael's cheek - and Michael let out a soft little laugh, "Just that we both love him, and want to help him." Ghost smiled, and then he lifted his head, "We are loyal to you. You and Stevie.." Ghost said softly, echoing Michael's words from earlier.

"I know." Kaj said softly, "...that means a lot to me.. it really does." He said softly - Kaj stood up, and he kissed them both on the lips softly. "I'm going to take Mina back inside - thank you... both of you." He whispered it, tears in his eyes again. "I love you both, I'm glad you found your way to Us. That Stevie found you both again. You belong with us."

"You're gonna make me cry with that shit." Michael said hoarsely, burying his face against Ghost's chest as Ghost curled his fingers into Michael's hair. 

"It's the fucking mist around here Michael.. getting in our eyes ja?" Kaj teased - and Ghost laughed softly, snorting at Kaj - "The mist... right.. uh-huh.." Kaj smirked, "Shush your sweet face." He teased Ghost and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

Then Kaj carried Mina inside - putting her back into her bed, he pulled the covers up around her and laid beside her. Mina's eyes fluttered open - and then she said sleepily, "Spooky?"

"Ja, my tiny Button?" He murmured back. She made her Bunny kiss his face, and Kaj smiled - then she said softly, "I have a secret to tell you." 

Kaj said softly, "Oh a secret ja? You better tell it to me then, before Freddy forgets." He tucked Freddy back in under the covers with her, and draped his ear over Mina's face. She let out a soft little giggle, and Kaj chuckled softly, "In my dream, the lady said I had to tell you the secret." Kaj murmured, "The lady? What lady?"

Mina draped Freddy's ear over his face, and Kaj pretended to eat it, making her giggle again. Then she said softly, "Her name was Evie, and she was pretty - she said that you were special, and that Shar always had two mates - the story is in Shar's book. That Father Wolf, was the Mate everyone knows about - but that you are the eternal one that was always with Shar in the Fell. Far'saesh Elk Brother, is yours and Shar's son - he isn't Father Wolfs son.. nope." She let out a soft little sleepy giggle.

Kaj said - "Who is Far'saesh Elk Brother?" He booped her nose, and Mina said softly - "Vinny is Far'saesh Elk Brother silly billy - that's why he can read the books - he was in the Fell with you and Mama. You're his parents. You and Mama.. you're both his parents from before.. its why he doesn't like.. him." 

"Hmm, you don't like him either do you." He asked softly, and Mina said softly -"He's s-scary." Kaj said softly - "He wont hurt you Mina. He's scary but he loves Mama. He loves Stevie." Mina stared up at him, "So.. do I have to like him Daddy?" Kaj said softly, "Well.. we can do our best to like him? For Mama ja?" She nodded and said softly, "You're my best favorite Daddy, I love you bestest." He chuckled softly and whispered, "I love you too my sweet tiny Button." He booped her nose again, "So a pretty lady name Evie told you this secret?"

Mina nodded, "Yes and she said that you were the soldier, the mate - his protector from the Shadow Fell. The destroyer of the Five." Mina's little eyes were fluttering closed and she said sleepily, "Daddy, Evie... she's his Mama, Eddie's Mama.. She told me that my name, my name before was Mystryl. That you and Shar were my Mama and Daddy, and Vinny was my Brother before. She.. was so pretty Spooky. Vinny...will help you Daddy... with your book.. She... said I'm going to put on my fur soon."

Kaj had his own book? Eddie's mother was speaking to Mina in her dreams?

"We are your Mama and Daddy sweet Mina, you know that ja?" He said softly, and she curled her fingers into his hair - "I love you Spooky." She whispered sleepily.

He kissed her forehead softly, and whispered - "Søde drømme, min søde knap, min Allefader, vogt over dig." (Sweet dreams, my sweet tiny Button. May the All Father, watch over you.)

~***~

Kaj felt soft fingers brushing his cheek, cool and soft and he mumbled sleepily - "Nej, jeg vil ikke vågne op." (No I don't want to wake up) A soft little laugh, and then a voice murmured - "No? Wake up Darlin' I missed you.. so much Kaj, open your eyes..." Steve. Steve was here. Kaj opened his eyes, and Steve said softly - "Hej min søvnige skat." (Hello my sleepy Darling) Kaj breathed out soft against Steve's face, and then he pulled him in close, mumbling softly -"Hej, I like being woken up by you." Kaj nuzzled his nose against Steve's cheek, and Steve whispered - "I love you."

"I love you too lille ulv, my beautiful sweet Wolfie." Kaj murmured softly, and he slid his fingers into Steve's hair. Steve smelt so good, sweet and musky - he smelt like caramel and vanilla, spice. Kaj pulled Steve into the bed properly, and laid over him. "What time is it.. I'm so confused, I don't even remember going to bed." His voice was all rough, and Steve said softly - "I think you fell asleep after your shower.. because you're still wrapped up in your towel, you didn't even get into bed." Steve stroked his fingers over the ink on his skin, and Kaj laughed softly - "I don't even remember having a shower to be truthful."

Steve brushed his fingers over his skin, making Kaj shiver - making him let out a soft little rumble - almost like a purr. 

"It's just a little after six a.m I only just got here - I was helping Mama with breakfast, and did Mina's hair." Steve said softly, he looked at Kaj from under his lashes - and then he whispered, "I have something I need to tell you, something that is going to shock you." Kaj raised an eyebrow, and Steve was blushing - deep pink in his cheeks, and he added, "Uh... so I didn't know that it was possible, but apparently it is? Mischa took me to see Dr Ambrose again.." 

That was the Doctor at the hospital, the one that specialized in Wolf pregnancy. Kaj said hoarsely - "Is everything okay, is the pup alright? Are you... o-okay?" Tears welled up in his eyes straight away, panic kicking in and Steve said softly, "Hey... hey, Kaj.." He scented him, soothing him and murmuring softly - "Sweet love, Kaj, my Baby..." Kaj rumbled softly, and he whispered shakily - "Please.. tell me that you're okay..." Steve whispered, "Yes Spooky... I'm okay I promise.."

Kaj let out a soft, heavy exhale - and he whispered - "Thank the All Father." He was still shaking, still worried though - and Steve soothed him, scenting and kissing his jaw - keening softly, he murmured, "Kaj... my sweet Spooky." Kaj got all hot, everywhere all at once - his cock hard, and he growled out softly - "So... what happened? Tell me Wolfie.." He cradled Steve's face, the anxiety waning - Steve said softly, "You know how.. I got so sick.." Kaj nodded, breathing out against Steve's face - "..Please lille ulv, tell me.." He whispered.

"You and Eddie kept saying why.. could I still keep taking your knots..." Steve's blush got deeper, and he whispered - "You both can still get me pregnant again, you a wolf can carry pups at different stages of..growth." Kaj's eyes widened, and he said with a small snicker - "I was only joking when I said maybe you'd have mine in there too." Steve stared at Kaj from under his lashes, and then he whispered "Kaj.." His heart skipped a beat, and then beat faster - "Kaj you... you're going to be a Daddy too, I don't just have Eddie's pup in my belly - yours is in there too, a little smaller - only four weeks.. but its there too." 

Tears blurred his vision, and Kaj said huskily - "Mine.. ours.. too Wolfie?" Steve whispered, "Yes Spooky... its why I got so sick, there are two pups inside me.. Yours and Eddie's. You both got me pregnant at the same time." Kaj kissed Steve deeply, deep and slow - his heart felt like it was going to burst right out of his chest, Steve's scent was heady and rich and so full of emotions - of Love. He was Happy and Kaj let out a deep rumbling growl, Steve keened soft in his throat and whispered, "You're happy my sweet Spooky?"

"So happy lille ulv, my.. sweet beautiful Wolfie.. my sweet Mama.." He kissed Steve again, and then sat up - holding Steve in his lap, he whispered - "And you're okay? Our pups are okay?" He stroked his hands against Steve's back, and Steve smiled - he reached into the back pocket of his jeans, and then put a small picture - an ultrasound picture into his hands. "Yes we're all okay.. look there they are. Bean and peanut." He let out a soft little laugh, and Kaj laughed even though he had tears everywhere. 

"You...are happy?" He asked softly, gently gripping Steve's face. Steve looked at him, "Scared... but yes... Kaj, happy.. I'm so happy and.. I get to give you a pup too.." His voice was soft, and Kaj murmured, "I ...I am so happy Steve, so... f-fucking happy, but.. I.. know you didn't want.. you said.." Steve pressed his fingers against his mouth - and then he said softly, "I don't want to be afraid, you know I don't.. but you make me feel brave.. you have always made me feel safe Kaj. I know you are my sanctuary... you will never let anything or anyone hurt me."

Kaj murmured, "Always, I'll always be your sanctuary."  

Steve whispered against his mouth, "I need to be yours too Kaj, I need to be strong for you... and.. for Eddie. But I need to be for you, the way you always have for Me." Kaj let his eyes close as Steve kissed him sweetly, and he whispered - "It's my honor to take care of you Wolfie."

"But its my honor and my duty to do the same for you. And.. I haven't been able to do that very well." Steve said softly, he whispered - "Look at me Kaj?"

Kaj opened his eyes, and Steve stared at him - they just stared at each other quietly.

Steve said softly, "But I'm going too, I'm going to take care of you the same way that you take care of me. I'm going to be better with everything, it's my promise to you right now - here. I'm going to be a good Mama to my pups, and I'm going to be stronger. I'm not going to let all my demons beat me down anymore. Because I love you, I love you with everything I am. And you deserve to be taken care of and cherished, I know I've not done a very good job of that? But I promise you, I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you know how much you mean to me.. till all the light is gone in the world, I will never stop loving you."

Kaj had tears sliding silently down his face, he didn't know what to say - all he knew, was that he loved hearing that - knowing that. He curled himself around Steve and held him in close, the two of them scenting each other, and Kaj smiled - as Steve held his hands against his belly. Steve whispered against his mouth, "Go back to sleep my sweet beautiful Spooky, just for a while longer hmm?" That rich honey sweet drawl in Steve's voice made him feel all warm and sleepy. Kaj breathed him in and Steve said softly, "Let me love you in my arms while you sleep, so tired aren't you my Darlin'." Kaj let out a soft rumble, and Steve whispered, "Mhmm sugar. Everyone's coming over later for supper - so you sleep now."

Kaj didn't know how Steve knew he hadn't been sleeping, but he slept soundly curled in Steve's arms - the ache in his shoulder not aching anymore.

Chapter Text

Eddie was highly amused by Tonka Rainleaf. He was a strange guy - he was like a weird mixture of a hippy and a guru, he seemed like he was out of it too. Eddie wasn't sure if he was actually on something, or if he was just maybe a little bit touched in the head? Missy muttered beside him, "Damn Kookoo bird, did you hear what he said about eating plants? Being in touch with our inner vegetarian? How about you stick your plants up your hippy ass you weirdo." Eddie laughed beside her, and she smirked up at him. He adored her - the tiny little stoic woman who said exactly what she thought about everything and really didn't care if you liked it or not. 

She was a treasure, and Missy was becoming one of his favorite people. They'd all eaten at Lyrena's house, which had been amusing too - everyone piling into her living room had been quite the sight to behold Eddie was sure. Because the house wasn't that large, but yet everyone had found a place to park themselves. Then they'd all climbed into their vehicles, and made their way back to the compound - Steve and Kaj, were behind Eddie and Missy - and had their hands laced together. Eddie had heard their news, and everyone was happy to hear that Steve and the pups were healthy. 

Yes Pups. Because there was two now. His and Kaj's. Eddie was extremely happy about that, he'd let out a soft little rumble and even kissed Kaj's cheek. Much to his displeasure Eddie was sure. He'd sort of become amused by riling him up, not to actually make him want to fight. Just to get under his skin, so he didn't pick a fight. He just did things to get to him in a subtle way. Being nice instead of being an asshole, and Kaj couldn't do anything if he was being nice, which made Steve happy - and made Eddie look good, and made Kaj uneasy. So it was a win-win. 

Kaj kept giving him these dirty little side-eye looks. Like he wasn't sure what to make of it all. That just gave him even more amusement. What? Eddie liked playing games. It was fun. He still thought Kaj was an asshole, touching his sweet boy.. putting his hands all over him. It made him crazy - but he had to learn to share. So there was that. Eddie sighed softly, and Missy looked up at him. 

"What's your problem Moody." She huffed at him, "You're not even old and worn out - calm down." She barked at him and Eddie laughed, she smirked and then said suddenly, "I can't call you Blue eyes too, but.. Blue eyes!" She addressed Kaj, and the younger man said in his gruff voice, "Ja Nanny?" Kaj gently took her weathered hand, it looked ridiculous seeing them together.

Kaj was so giant, and Missy so tiny. But Kaj held her hand and Missy said - "Help me to sit on the blanket?" Kaj frowned and then he said to one of the teenagers, "Benjamin.. give up that folding chair for your Elder.. have some respect you punk!" Missy smirked, and Steve was spreading out a big blanket on the ground - Kaj growled at the kid, who muttered something and Kaj said - "You wanna say that again you little shit?" 

Ben, looked at Kaj with a terrified look - "Nei I didn't think so.." Kaj bared his teeth, fangs showing and Eddie smirked as the kid ran off - pulling his friend with him. Kaj's gaze met his and he muttered darkly, "Little shite." 

Eddie laughed, "You just have to look their way and they tremble in fear." Kaj smirked and rolled his eyes, but then he said softly - "Here Missy, you sit down.." He helped her into the chair, and then he took another blanket from Steve and draped it over Missy's legs, "You comfortable? Warm enough?" Missy snorted, "Yes Blue eyes, I'm fine you can quit your fussing now..." 

Kaj scratched his cheek, and then he leant down, kissing her softly on the top of her head, and Missy let out a soft little rumble. "My sweet Blue eyes." She said fondly, and then she barked at him - "Edward.. you just going to stand there looking pretty, or are you going to leave the blanket sorting to your pregnant mate.. help him fool."

He laughed, and then got to helping - arranging blankets and pillows - and then everyone was piling on the ground around the fire - some sitting on fold out chairs like Missy. Lyrena curled her arm through his and she said softly - "Kaj?, Stevie.. Can you both come with me." They stopped what they were doing - and Lyrena said, "Let's go." 

Eddie of course was led by Lyrena, but while they were walking she let go of his arm - and curled herself around Steve. Leaving him and Kaj walking side-by-side. Kaj was quiet beside him and Eddie said softly - "So.. congratulations." 

Kaj looked down at him, "..For what?" Kaj said quietly, and Eddie looked at him - "About your pup?"

The younger man ducked his head, and then he said quietly - "T-Thanks Ed's." It was the first time Kaj had actually called him that, he was pleased.

Eddie smirked, "You're welcome Spooky." He replied back, and Kaj huffed out an amused laugh beside him. Ahead of them, Steve looked over his shoulder at them both - and Eddie gave him a wink - he smiled, one of those beautiful smiles that lit up his entire face. The kind of smile that Eddie hadn't seen for a really, really long time from the younger man. 

Kaj saw it too and he said softly, "I forgot how beautiful that smile is."

"Yes, it has been a while since I've seen it too." Eddie said quietly, and they gave each other the side-eye. Kaj straightened himself up again, and Eddie was startled by Mina as she almost crashed into him losing her balance. "Oh are you alright little bit?" He asked softly, and she stared up at him - her big eyes wide, and then she clung to Kaj's hand - saying nothing at all. Kaj let out a soft little chuckle, "Mina - Ed's isn't going to bite you." He said softly, and Eddie gave her a smile.

She very hesitantly took his hand with her other one - and Eddie said softly, "Ah, now we can swing you." He looked at Kaj, and Kaj laughed - the two of them swung her with their hands and Mina let out a happy squeal, and then was quite happy to stay holding them both. But she dropped her stuffed Rabbit, and it landed in front of him. Kaj paused, but it was Eddie who knelt down, Mina was biting her fingers - reminding Eddie so much of Steve that he thought perhaps she was like him. She stared past him, not at him - and Eddie said softly.

"And who is this dear fellow?" He asked as he picked up the Bunny.

"F-freddy." Mina said softly, looking off to the side. Eddie gave him a kiss, "Well Freddy, I think Mina would rather you hold her than you be on the ground Sir." He made snuffling noises and wriggled his nose and then made Freddy give her kisses - draping his ears over her head and Mina giggled softly. "He's very sweet, isn't he. Just like you." Eddie said softly, Kaj was smiling - and Mina said softly, "He liked your kisses." Eddie said, "He did? Well I liked giving them to him. He's a good Bunny." 

Mina's big eyes, shifted from the side of Eddie - then she looked at him, "You have eyes like her - like Evie." She said softly, and Eddie said - "Evie?" Of course that had been his mothers nickname. Mina nodded and she said, "Your Mama." Eddie said softly, "Have you spoken to her?" Mina said, "She was in my dream, she told me about Spooky and.. me.. and Vinny." Eddie said softly, "She told you lots of things hmm?" Mina nodded and then she said softer, holding Eddie's face in her hands - "She asked me to tell you that she loves you very much."

Eddie felt the tears in his eyes and Mina said softly, "You thought you were never loved by anyone but she loved you, she didn't know how at first.." Mina made Freddy give kisses to Eddie and then she kissed Eddie's cheek, and booped his nose. Eddie let out a soft laugh, despite his tears and he booped her nose back. "..You're a sweet little bit." He said softly, and then Mina threw her arms around him, so Eddie scooped her up. She snuggled into him - and Kaj let out a soft little chuckle, "Well - seems our little Button has decided to not be afraid of you anymore." He murmured.

"Good, I don't bite." Eddie said quietly, but he smirked and then Kaj said softly - "Uh-huh." They caught up with Lyrena and Steve, and Steve was smiling at him - he gently stroked Mina's hair, and Mina of course then wanted Steve to hold her instead - so Eddie handed her over. Steve curled his arms around her, and then Mina handed him Freddy. "He can stay with you Ed's, keep you company." She said softly, and Eddie said - "Oh don't worry, I'll keep him safe." He tucked Freddy inside his jacket so his head was poking out and Steve laughed - "Silly Eddie.."

Mina held Steve's face in her hands, "He gets cold you know!" She said, like Steve should have known this already - "Oh.. I'm so sorry, I forgot." Steve said, and Mina huffed out - "You forgot? You are always cold, how could you forget? Silly Mama." She blew a raspberry on Steve's face and Steve blew one on her face - the two of them giggling, and Lyrena said with a laugh, "When you two have finished making fruit... lets go over here.. Vinny and Tonka have something for you." 

Steve made a face at Mina, and Mina giggled sweetly - then she poked her tongue out at Kaj and blew raspberry into the air - and Kaj said - "Ew spit goobies everywhere. gross!" Mina giggled more, and then she blew Eddie kisses instead. Steve let out a wistful sigh, "Hmmm so Eddie gets kisses but me and Spooky just get stinky raspberries? Oh... oh I see how it is now..." He pouted and Lyrena was smiling - Mina said softly, "No.. no you get kisses toooo." She then proceeded to kiss Steve's face all over wherever she could reach and Steve laughed softly, "Yes all the sweet kisses from my tiny Mini Mina!" He set her down, and she went running off to go and play with the other kids. 

"You have been given the honor of looking after Freddy." Lyrena said softly, her eyes all twinkly - "She very seldom ever parts with him." Eddie smiled, and he said softly - "She's a little darling." Lyrena nodded, "She is.. and shes like Stevie.. autistic, finds it very difficult sometimes. She likes you though - this is good." Eddie murmured, "I picked up on that.. she'll be fine Rena." The other woman said with a smile, "I know - she's doing so much better since Stevie came... coming out of her shell, making friends - talking. For a long time she was just so quiet and afraid." 

Kaj said quietly - "She's been having dreams, communicating with..." His gaze flicked to him - and Eddie said - "My Mother." 

Kaj nodded and Steve raked his fingers through his hair - "She's been dream walking?" Kaj said softly - "I think shes been doing a lot in her sleep - she said she's going to put on her fur soon." Steve's eyes widened - "But... but she's so little?" Lyrena cradled Steve's face - "You were two years old when you fell out of your crip and put your fur on. Scared me to death." Steve just stared at her - "Two?!" Kaj looked surprised as well and Lyrena nodded, smiling - "...Don't forget sweetling, we are born in our fur - we just usually forget, and then wake up again much later. In our teen years usually. Unless your different.." She chuckled, "Like the three of you - Eddie you were... five?"

He nodded, "Had been shifting for three years - forgot for a long, long time - till me and Stevie..." He curled his fingers through Steve's, after Steve brushed his against Eddies. 

"And Kaj you were eight?" Kaj nodded - "Ja... went hunting for a bunny..." He narrowed his eyes and muttered, "Never did find it-" Steve cooed softly, "Don't worry Spooky... one day you'll catch it in that meadow.." Kaj gave Steve a soft smile, and Eddie wondered what that meant. Steve was stroking his fingers against his - and then Lyrena said - "I was seven. So its different for everyone? Nate was twelve... and Elias was ten." 

They walked onto a little makeshift stage where there was a bunch of beanbags and cushions - Vinny was laughing with Tonka - "Bruh.. no way man I'm not eating that fucking hippy dippy vegetarian bullshit - I like my meat..." Lyrena said softly, "You don't like my tofu loaf Sugar?" Her eyes got all soft, and a little teary - and Steve, Kaj and Eddie all watched as Vinny melted - and said, "No... no.... no Rena Baby.. I love your food that you make me.." Steve smirked, and he looked at him and Kaj.

"You... do?" Lyrena cooed at Vinny softly, "Because I don't want to make food for you that you don't like Baby.." She scratched the side of Vinny's head, soothing him - and he murmured, "I'd eat snails out the garden if you gave them too me.." 

Tonka raised an eyebrow - "Bruh I wouldn't go that far - that's just vile.." He grinned dopily, and then he said - "You're both... vibing so hard on each other, can you feel it.. s'all mystical and shit." Eddie snorted softly, and Kaj was laughing. Steve said quietly, "Behave yourselves and be nice." Both Eddie and Kaj looked at each other and Kaj said - "So... what are we doing?"

Tonka casually draped his arm around Kaj's waist - then he said, "For you... god you're a beast of a man - how tall are you exactly?" Eddie watched as Steve got tense, and held his hand a little tighter - not happy about Tonka touching Kaj - and not so familiarly, "I'm 6'3." Kaj said - and Tonka let out a rumbly soft little purr - "Damn.. arms of steel too, I bet you could just... break someone in half.. couldn't you.." Eddie had to desperately reign in the urge to laugh - Kaj was bright red, and looking uncomfortable?

But beside him? Steve was enraged - vibrating with jealousy and anger. "How about you get your hands off him before I  break you!" Steve snarled out - and Tonka looked at Steve, "...Sorry my guy... no offence meant.." Steve was offended though - and he pushed Tonka away from Kaj, and then purred softly in his throat as he pressed in close - and made a point of scenting Kaj and curling his fingers against Kaj's chest - rubbing himself up against him. As if he was staking his claim back - which he totally was. He let out a soft growl - and his eyes were liquid gold as he growled at Tonka, "Keep your hands off.. or i'll rip them off."

Kaj was blushing, as he curled his hands against Steve's back and said huskily "Baby.. sweet Wolfie.." He murmured, "No need for that.. be nice." 

"I'll be nice when he stops running his mouth..." Steve said softly, nuzzling Kaj's throat - placing soft little kisses - "And... and fucking touching.." He snarled at Tonka.

Lyrena said softly, "Stevie Baby... sweetling - Tonka is harmless." She looked at Eddie, and Eddie just let out a soft laugh - his amusement twinkling in his eyes. 

Tonka looked like he wanted to either crap his pants, or run away - or maybe it was both. Either way? Eddie thought it was hilarious. 

But then he made the wrong decision - by moving closer to him, "So you have oh the sweetest twinkly eyes.."

"Do you wish to die?" Eddie said calmly, and Tonka looked at him - Steve snarled, "You really must have a death wish..." Tonka stammered out - "W-what?"

Vinny sighed wearily, "Tonka bruh... Eddie and Kaj, are Steve's mates - they're also the fathers of his pups - don't test him bro - he'll fuck you up and bury you where nobody can find you." 

Steve snarled out, "No... I'll rip you to pieces, feed them the good bits and give the rest to the dogs on the Rez." He was now baring his teeth - and Vinny let out a soft laugh, "Come here Stevie.." He held his hands out - and Steve reluctantly took them, pouting at Vinny, "I don't like him - he smells weird, like dusty mushrooms and he keeps trying to touch my sweet honey babies Vinny! Touching... mine.. No!" He growled at Tonka, "I'll gut you.."

"Steven!" Lyrena scolded him and Steve looked at her innocently, guiltily - till he turned snarly again at Tonka - "Don't even look at them... I'll cut your eyes out with my claws." 

Kaj murmured beside him, "Is it wrong that I find that hot... like.. really sexy him being all jealous?"

"No.. not at all, because it is." Eddie said with a smirk. 

They both laughed softly, and Vinny said - "Just ignore him Stevie.. he smells like that because he grows magic mushrooms." Lyrena let out a soft laugh, and Vinny smirked at her - she said softly, "Vinny.. you're a naughty Boy." Kaj said quietly, "They're so into each other right?" Eddie smirked and said, "No shit.. I'm surprised they haven't jumped each other already." Vinny said suddenly, "Kaj..." He walked over, and then held out a stack of books, "These are yours. I can help you translate them." He then turned his attention to Eddie, "Uncle Creeper." 

Eddie sighed and gave Vinny a look, which Kaj snickered at - and Vinny scoffed at him, "You can give me your snooty face all you want.. it ain't gonna make me stop callin you that. This is yours. Again I can help you translate it." He placed one small book into his hands, and Eddie opened it, of course he couldn't read it at all, but it seemed familiar. "You weren't much of a writer apparently." Vinny said softly, "Probably too busy making babies and well building worlds Fa Ulv.." Eddie felt a strange warmth in his stomach, as his nephew gave him a little head nod, "I still think you're creepy and weird, but you are my Elder and I will respect your sacrifices." 

"Little shit." Eddie said softly, affectionately scratching his head, and Vinny gave him a playful shove first, but then pulled him into a hug. Eddie hugged him tightly and then kissed the side of his head. Steve was staring at the stacks of books on the table. "Yeah those are all our written fables, I'm going to translate them for everyone so we have the records in English - and these.." He motioned to a smaller stack, "Shar these are your books. But this one.." He handed Steve a book that had their matching tattoo - "This one is the most important one of all of them." 

Steve got tears in his eyes as he opened it, "Our family book." He whispered, and Vinny nodded - he glanced at Kaj and Eddie. "You two were brothers back then..." They gave each other the side-eye and Kaj muttered, "Of course we were..." And Eddie laughed shaking his head. Vinny smirked - "Brother fuckers.. honestly man." Steve was bright red and he muttered - "I was fucking two brothers even then, I've been a slut my whole existence?" He buried his head behind his book and it was Kaj who laughed this time. Vinny said softly, "Don't call yourself that... you're not a slut." Lyrena smiled softly, and Steve groaned, "No... I am, I am... Vinny I'm your mother - I shouldn't say that in front of you."

Lyrena said softly, "Not just Vinny's mother, you and Kaj - were Vinny and Mina's parents before, Mina was your daughter." Steve said softly - "She was?" Vinny nodded - "You guys can go back and sit with the others, "I'm going to be telling everyone some stories tonight - I have to go and get changed, put on the ceremonial dress and shit." Steve said softly - "Ohh... is it a ritual thing?" Vinny nodded - "A Blessing and a story night, then everyone's going to have a big feast - drinks, the little ones will be looked after and then we'll all put on our fur and go celebrate the Blue Wolf Moon."

Steve said softly, "I didn't know! Mama you never said." Lyrena chuckled - "Well you and Kaj were sleeping baby, and celebrating peanuts arrival." Eddie chuckled, "Bean and peanut - our two little sweet pups." Kaj smiled at him and murmured, "Our pups." Eddie said softly, "Yes Spooky, our pups." They stared at each other - and Kaj nodded - he looked away again and Eddie smiled as Steve came closer and then he took both of their hands, one in each of his. "...You're both happy, I like it when you're both happy." His voice all soft and Eddie kissed his cheek - "Very happy." Eddie said softly. 

Kaj murmured - "So.. we were brothers, both in love with Shar apparently - Vinny's going to tell us the story tonight." Steve said softly - "Mhmm yeah he is.." He stared up at Kaj, and then he looked at Eddie, "You both still want to become Blacks?" He asked suddenly and Kaj said softly, "Ja Wolfie." Eddie smiled and murmured against Steve's ear, "Yes my sweet Boy." Steve whispered, but they could still hear him, "Good.. hmmm I want us to get married before the pups are born.. okay? I want... things to be right.. before they're both born, is.. that okay?"

Both Kaj and Eddie said at the same time, "Yes that's perfect." Steve shivered and then laughed - "You're both freaky when you do that. Mind meld." 

Eddie just chuckled, and Kaj murmured - "Great minds think a like." Steve let out a soft little purr - and then he looked over his shoulder and gave Tonka a final little snarl. 

Tonka quickly looked away, "That's right bitch!" Steve barked out, "Look away! I'll gouge out your eyes you look at them again!" Steve snarled.

Both Kaj and Eddie gave each other a look and Steve huffed out, "Damn trollop, keep your hands off what's mine."

Chapter Text

Steve was laying with his head in Eddie's lap, and his legs were over Kaj's - he was drifting a little - could hear the soft voices of the others, of his pack - his beautiful family. Vicky let out a happy laugh, Robin letting out a soft squeak as Vicky tickled her, "No, no tickling.. you're evil! Evil tempting witchy woman.." Robin giggled and Vicky said softly, "You're so beautiful Robbie, I love you so much." Steve watched them from behind his hair - as Robin gently stroked Vicky's face and said softly, "I love you too, so much." Steve let out a soft little rumbling purr - and Eddie stroked his fingers into his hair, letting out a chuckle. 

Robin realized that it was directed at her and Vicky and she blushed - "Stevie Black are you eavesdropping?" She asked him and he let out a soft laugh, and shifted crawling over to the two girls he said - "Uh-huh just a little." He pouted at them both, and they curled their arms around him. Misha was sitting in a folding chair - rosy cheeked and then she said softly, "Sweet Babies? My beautiful babies.." She sank down onto the ground with the three of them, and then she cradled Steve's face - just looking at him. Steve smiled and then she looked at Robin and Vicky, "Now.. I don't know if the two of you have talked about it, I'm not sure ..how you feel, but I wanted to talk to you both?"

Steve laid with his head in Vicky's lap - she played with his hair, and he poked Eddie's leg with his foot. Kaj was braiding Issy's hair, and Jonathan was staring wistfully by the look of it up at the stars. Lost in his thoughts. 

"What did you want to talk about Mish?" Robin asked softly, and Misha smiled - she pulled a key out from her pocket and then placed it in both of their hands, folding them up. "This is a key to a new cabin, it has everything even its own kitchen. It's yours, both of yours if you want it. You have a home here - you can have a home here together. You can live together, be together for always. No shame, nobody to hurt you or judge you. Vicky Baby? I know Penny down on the Rez needs help looking after people when they get sick? And Robbie honey, Elias needs help with the Rez police if you still wanted to do that.." The two girls looked at each other and then Robin curled her arms around Mischa.

"Thank you... thank you so much, yes we would love to live here. We accept." Steve sat up again and he hugged both his girls - then he hugged Mischa. "Thank you." He whispered and Mischa said softly, "Gotta keep my sweet Babies all together." 

Steve said softly, "Eddie told you didn't he... about moving here from Virginia.. permanently." Mischa smiled, "Yes Baby he did. We have a bunch of the new cabins ready to go - and we're going to start working on the older ones to make them better." Steve nodded, and he felt someone watching him - he looked over his shoulder and Kaj's gaze met his. He breathed out softly, and Mischa whispered - "You should talk to him too.." Steve whispered back, "I will Mish.." She stroked his cheek and whispered, "Tiny Peanut, and Biddy Bean." Steve let out a soft laugh and he looked down at his belly, he didn't have a bump yet, Misha said softly - "You'll be starting to show signs of Bean being in there soon, maybe another three or four weeks - possibly a little sooner because you're a slip of a thing."

Robin let out a soft little giggle - "I can't wait for you to have your bump." Vicky said softly - "Are you getting excited Stevie love?" Steve got all warm and he said softly, "You know what?" He let out a soft exhale, tears in his eyes and he lifted his gaze - "I actually am... I really am.." He was suddenly enveloped in the warmth of all three of them hugging him at once. Mischa said softly, "Sweet Babies - oh how I adore you so." Robin let out a soft little laugh, and then holding Steve's hand, she said softly - "Misha?"

She looked at Robin, "Yes Sunshine girl." Steve smiled a teary smile - because Misha thought she smelt like Sunshine too, and he scented Robin. Robin nuzzled Steve's face - and held him closer - and then she whispered to Mischa - "Um.. if two girl wolves, wanted a pup - can.. we do that without having to do the deed? You know.." She was blushing furiously, and Mischa looked at her and Steve - she looked at Vicky, and then she brough Steve and Robin in even closer. "If you want to do that, and I'm guessing it is something you've talked about?" She whispered.

Both Robin and Steve nodded, and Vicky let out a soft little laugh - leaning against Mischa's legs. "Well - Stevie forgive my crudeness Baby - you give a sample into a clean receptacle - Robin forgive my bluntness - you can get that sample inside you with a turkey baster? I'm going to assume that it will work. Either that or we can talk to Dr. Ambrose? But yes I'm sure it'll work? You're both Uratha now too so.. I think you're pup would be as well. And if not.. Stevie can always remedy that situation later." Steve gently stroked Robin's face, "Is it what you want Sunshine?" Robin and Vicky both held Steve's hands and Robin said softly, "Yes Stevie - if you want that too, I'd really like that."

"Then I'll do it. We'll have a baby together - the three of us. Yeah? I.. don't have to be the Daddy if.. you know you both want.." Vicky said softly, "No - Stevie love - no. We will be our Pup's Mama's... you will be it's Daddy. Is that what you want too?" Steve said softly, "I want whatever you both want - I want to give you both the chance to have everything to make you happy." Robin said tearfully, "I.. love you so much Stevie, thank you so much." He pulled Robin into his arms and he said softly, "I love you too Robin, my sunshine girl." He pulled Vicky in close, "My Sweet flame, your both going to have a pup too." He kissed them both and Misha gave Steve a big smile. 

Kaj said loudly, "So you're gonna be a Mama and a Daddy - are you secretly becoming a cult leader up on the mountain?"

Eddie snickered and said - "Starting a love commune..." Kaj made a woo-woo noise and Missy said - "You're both gonna get yourselves in trouble.." 

Steve blushed hotly, "You shouldn't be eavesdropping, just like I shouldn't have been neither - but.. yes I want to give them a pup. I'm... not starting a commune or a cult.." 

Eddie said dryly, "Better make sure everyone knows that - Michael would probably like to get on you and have some sweet love.." Turning his gaze to Michael - who just stared at Eddie, and then he ducked his head and muttered, "Fuck you Uncle Creeper."

Kaj smirked and Ghost said quietly - "We've.. done nothing to Stevie, Eddie.." He was blushing though, and Eddie turned his attention to Ghost. "That may be so... but I'm not an idiot - you both are wafting your love potion scents at him, you both love him and adore him... and.. Michael you're pretty much a horn bag."

Kaj hid his face against the blanket, and Michael's dark eyes met his - Kaj mouthed at him, "Uncle Creeper."

Michael laughed softly, and Eddie said, "Glad you think its amusing Michael." The older mans voice a little bit clipped and snooty.

"Calm down Eddie, nothing has happened between me, Ghost and Michael..." Steve said softly - but he was blushing - and Ghost and Steve looked at each other. 

Eddie murmured softly, "Still.... hmmm." He stroked his fingers against his stomach and then he said to Robin and Vicky - "I hope you successfully become pregnant."

Both of them blushed and Robin said softly, "Thank you Eddie." She bit her lip softly, and Eddie added - "I know I have a long way to go before you ever trust me again Robin, but I love Stevie - and hope that one day we can be friends again. You're a beautiful person and you and Vicky deserve to be happy and have a family together. We can arrange everything to help with the move from Virginia... I'll do whatever we need to do." 

Kaj murmured, "Guess .. I should think about that too huh Stevie?"

Steve crawled over the blanket back to Kaj and he whispered - "Yeah?"

Eddie watched them, and then he looked away - getting up and walking off in the direction of the big house. 

Kaj and Steve watched him leave, and then Kaj pulled Steve over the top of him. "Mhmm.. I mean I can't live in Virginia if you are living here..." Issy leaned into them both and said - "Please live here, cos then Jon will stay - and I... really, really want... Jon to stay." The younger boy had tears in his eyes, and he bit his lip. Kaj murmured - "You okay Issy?" Kaj looked at Steve, and Steve looked over at where Jonathan was sitting by himself - or rather laying by himself. 

"We.. had a stupid fight." Issy said quietly, looking completely miserable. Kaj tugged Issy into his lap - continuing to braid his hair - and Steve gently kissed the younger boys temple. "What about?" Jonathan was not close to them - so he couldn't hear them. "I...told him that I was in love with him and he freaked out, said he was going back to Virginia and that he.. I couldn't say that. He.. said we couldn't be together." Issy wiped at his face, and Kaj frowned - but then he whispered, "Jon's scared Issy, scared to death I think.."

Steve murmured softly, "I'll talk to him.. not about this, but I'll talk to him Issy my little homie." He smiled as Issy fist bumped him, and Kaj gave him a squeeze. "Your braids are sick man.. finish up my hair." Issy said, trying to stop crying. Kaj laughed and Missy said softly, "When is this ceremony starting! I'm going to grow lichen at this fucking point!" Mischa laughed softly, and then reached into the cooler - screwing the cap off a bottle of beer. "Here Nanny, have a beer to relax."

Missy said, "Ah.. yes that's a good idea." She took it and had a swig - "Missy?" It was River that said her name - and Missy looked at him, "Yes my cousin." Missy smirked - "Would you like your own cabin up here?" Missy sat forward, Mischa smiled - tears in her eyes, so proud of her husband. He was extending the olive branch to the Matriach of the Black pack. "River Blackwater, I take you back with open arms into my pack - fuck those other losers if they don't like it. I accept your offering of a Den. I love you and your beautiful Mischa. I would love to live here - amongst my beautiful family." 

River said softly, a bit tearful - "I love you too old woman." Missy smirked, "Course you fucking do - I'm a delight.." Sammy was sitting right by Missy's feet, and he said softly - "I love you Nanny, I'm glad you said yes - I don't think you should be living with Whistler down in that motel... it ain't safe down there.. y-you should be up here so I can keep you s-safe." Everyone went quiet, and Missy leaned forward, her tiny weathered hands cupped Sammy's face - and she said softly, "You're a special boy Samuel Blackwater, and I'm honored that you wanna be my guardian. Don't you ever let nobody tell you that you're stupid or dumb ever again. You got the light in you don't you ey?" Samuel said tearfully, "I.. got to look after you Nanny Missy."

She said softly, "You're a sweet little Angel." Mischa and River smiled at each other and Missy said - "Someday Vinny is going to be the boss around here, when all us old fuckers are gone. He's going to need your help, you're his helper - you know that don't you ey? You're gonna be the light that guides everyone home. You're the beacon in the storm." Sammy cuddled up with Missy - and she stroked his hair - "Led Eddie straight back here didn't you ey?" Steve and Kaj smiled and Sammy said softly, "Mhmm Vinny says I'm a dumbass - but.. I got him to come back too - when he was all broken and lost. I sent him to Tonka in Arizona - cos I told him to go there in a letter." 

"Did you just. Like I said - a beacon." Missy chuckled softly - and Eddie came and sat back down - there was the whir and feedback from a microphone and Tonka said suddenly - "Hey everyone - hey man... just letting you know that the ceremonies are about to start.. then Vinny Blackwater.." There was some cheers and clapping - "Haha! Yeah Vinny.. we love Vinny - right man! Right on.." Tonka was still clearly off his face - Missy said, "Shut the hell up ya weirdo.. bring on the dancing and chanting!" 

Eddie laughed softly - he was playing with Sammy's hair - the younger man like a little puppy - and Steve smiled as Sammy shifted and then flopped down in his lap. "Hiya Stevie." Sammy said softly, and he looked at Kaj - then at Issy, "Hey.. Issy.." Sammy said shyly, and Issy said - "Hey Sammy.." He smiled at Sammy went bright red, and then shifted - biting his lip and hiding behind Steve. Kaj looked at Steve, and Steve let out a soft little laugh - Issy raised his eye brow - and then he said, "Uh.. so Sammy, I hear that you are like.. some kind of tracking expert or some shit.."

Sammy looked over his shoulder at Issy, "Uh.. I just know how to track pawprints and well animals... people.. yeah.." Steve was soothing Sammy by playing with his hair - Steve knew that Sammy wasn't dumb, or simple at all - he was just painfully shy, and didn't really know how to talk to people. "Well that's like cool as shit - you should.. come hunting with me and my uncles.." Issy said casually - "Or.. like we could hang out sometime.. if you wanted? Maybe.." Sammy said "Y-you w-wanna hang out?"

Issy said - "Sure.. if you wanna? I mean if you don't.." Sammy said  - "No.. that I mean we can - yeah that'd.. be.. cool."

"Sweet as then my bro.." Issy held his fist out - and Sammy just stared at him - "You bump your fist against his." Steve said softly - and Sammy blushed, "Oh.. okay s-sure." He stammered out - and then bumped his fist against Issy's - "Cool so we can hang out, do you smoke weed? I smoke weed - I sell weed... you probably never smoked it before huh.." Issy moved from Kaj's lap and laid down beside Sammy, who stammered out - "Oh yeah. I smoked it with Vinny a couple of times.. mhmm..'

Kaj and Steve looked at each other and Eddie said quietly  - "Uh.. I think that's caught the attention of a certain someone.." The three of them looked over at Jonathan - who was frowning and then looking away - Jonathan got up and then stalked off back to the cabin he was staying in by himself. 

There was a sudden intense beat of drums, and Steve whispered - "Oh wow.." 

Tonka said solemnly, "We give thanks to the Great Spirit, to the All Father - to the Blue Wolf Moon - to watch over us all on this night - let the ceremonies begin."

There was a high pitched wail - and then a bunch of the men - all dressed in their finery started chanting and dancing - Steve felt a wave of emotion - Missy had tears on her face - some of the little babies we jigging in their bouncers - moved by the musical calls and the beats. 

It got louder, and louder - carried across the valley - and Steve loved it - it was calling out to something inside Him too. Missy was dancing in her chair and chanting too and then she held out her hand for Steve - he got up and pulled her gently to her feet and she started moving, "Dance with me my Grandson." 

All around them, everyone was so happy, the fires burning - laughter and people joining in. 

Stupid Tonka Rainleaf came over to him and Missy - he was actually Beautiful. Steve thought - You're Beautiful you asshole. "Mother Shar, forgive me? For earlier.." Tonka said softly - the flames from the fire near them both were flickering in Tonka's dark eyes - and he suddenly grabbed Steve's hands and brought him out into an empty patch of grass, Missy was sitting back down again - her eyes full of mischief. Tonka took a necklace from around his neck, it was made of feathers and bone - and had a bird's claw. "This was my grandfathers, but I want you to have it. It'll be good for you. Keep you with good Medicine."

Steve felt tears in his eyes, and Tonka said softly - "Vinny and I have been translating the books all day - all day - you are going to have your mind blown when he tells the stories.. the stories of your sacrifices for your people." Steve brushed his fingers against the necklace and he said softly - "I don't deserve this I was..." Tonka shook his head, "I was out of order and I'm sorry about that, forgive me Stevie?" Steve nodded, and Tonka grinned - "Dance with me Stevie, let the spirits hear you sing.." He started to chant - slowly so that Steve could pick up on the words too, and then he rest his hand against Steve's chest, "Feel it.. feel it here.. feel it come up through the earth - from the Shadow place... feel it.." 

Steve could, he started to chant with Tonka - and they danced singing it loud and Steve laughed happily - then Tonka said "Come on.. lets go up there.." He motioned to the makeshift stage and Steve said, "No.. no I can't.." But Tonka pulled him with him anyway - and Steve laughed softly, the two of them dancing with everyone else. Then slowly everything started to quieten down. 

Vinny Blackwater stepped out from the shadow - and Steve let out a soft little gasp. 

He was painted up - he had an entire headdress of feathers - black crow feathers - half his face was painted black, and the other half was white. Tiny white dots like a lightening bolt went down the black side of his face - he was wearing the most beautiful clothes. Tonka sat down beside Steve on the little makeshift stage - and a hush fell over the crowd of their big pack. The Blackwaters, the waifs and strays from the compound, the Black's and everyone else from the Rez. 

Vinny picked up the microphone and he said quietly, "Nanashte winoba chelelo.. titano tae.." Everyone just seemed to be mesmerize, Steve knew he was. 

"Welcome my brothers, my sisters - all my Family. Because we are one now - one united family. We aren't divided anymore - There is no separation anymore. Under this Blue Wolf moon - the Great Spirit, the All Father has brought you all here - because at long last? We are all where we are supposed to be. For a long time, I know that a lot of you have felt lost - broken. Not knowing where to turn, I too? I've felt that way myself - you all know what struggles I've had. But..." Vinny paused, he let out a heavy sigh - somewhere, someone yelled out, "We love you Vinny!"

Vinny laughed, and then he said - "I love you too Clayton. We sit - we stand, under this Moon tonight family - as a reunited Pack. We have the literal embodiment of where it all began - sitting right there.." Vinny motioned to Steve. Steve had tears in his eyes, and he let out a shaky breath. Vinny said "Stevie, My Shar - Mother, Goddess - the Mother of us All - my friend.. You saved my life when I had no light to pull me back from the darkest place I was trapped in. And here I am. I didn't know where I was back then, but I'm finding my feet again."

Kaj looked over at Misha and River, who were both holding hands - tears on their faces. 

Eddie had tears on his face too. 

"I want to tell you all some stories tonight, for those of you who have not heard them before. Are you ready?" Vinny asked - and everyone yelled out - "YES TELL US." Vinny laughed and he took a little bow - "Alright - so..." He sat on the pile of soft cushions - surrounded by a bunch of the little pups. "It all started a long time ago - with two brothers. Two brothers who are here right now - Kaj and Eddie.. this is your story.. the first story. Because it started with the two of you."

Eddie and Kaj gave each other the side eye. 

From Jonathan's cabin, he wound up sitting next to Tonka and Steve - Steve held Jonathan's hand - and Tonka gave Jonathan a sweet smile - Jonathan blushed an gave him a little wave - which made Steve giggle softly. Vinny said - "Stevie you wanna come and sit with me I'm getting stage fright." Steve stood up and he heard someone say, "We love you Mama Shar!" Steve waved out and then he sat next to Vinny, and Vinny said, "Say hello Stevie."

"Hello Stevie." Steve said, and that got him some laughs - He saw Tonka and Jonathan talking to each other and he smiled - Vinny laughed softly, and then he held the microphone to Steve again, "Hey everyone - I'm not doing the story telling, that's all up to Vinny.. I'm just here for moral support.."

Someone said, "We still love you." and Steve said, "I love you too!" 

Vinny laughed and said, "We love you - and where is Lyrena.. girl.. you're looking fine tonight Mama.." Steve let out a soft laugh and Lyrena was standing holding a sleepy looking Mina. She was blushing and Vinny said softly, "Before I tell the story.. should I tell everyone Baby?" 

Lyrena nodded, and Vinny said - "Hey Mom? Dad? You're gonna be grandparents.. Lyrena and I are having a pup.." Steve let out a soft gasp and Vinny looked at him, holding the microphone away so nobody could here, he said - "Yeah.. I found my mate Stevie.. I found my girl." They hugged each other tightly and there was a few "Awwwws" Steve said, "I'm so happy for you Vinny, so.. so happy." He smiled and murmured, "Never would have happened if it wasn't for meeting you Stevie." They held hands and Steve grinned at Lyrena, she blew him kisses and he blew her kisses back. 

"Okay time for the story..." Vinny cleared his throat - and he said, "In the ancient times... in the beginning - you've heard of Father Wolf, his name was Urfarah, him and his younger brother Ibrandul were both wise and brave - great warriors. They were powerful and yet they had different jobs they took care of. This time, the barriers between the realms of flesh and of spirit were not as thick as they are today and exchange from both sides were more easy. Balance between them both was kept by Father Wolf, who was a being from the Border Marches of great power, he patrolled the borders between the worlds, with teeth and claws he pushed the mortals back into safety of the world of flesh. And suppressed the mightiest of spirits who would dare to disturb it, so that both realms could live in peace from each other."

Steve sat enraptured, Vinny was good at telling stories. 

"Ibrandul was the keeper of the Underworld, the keeper of the spirits - and between them the two brothers kept these two worlds unified and in balance. Urfarah, Father Wolf. and Ibrandul both keepers of different worlds - had the affections of Mother Moon, Luna - she would descend down from the sky - to be with Urfarah and Ibrandual both... she loved them both. Laid with them both. But - she only gave children to Urfarah at this time. Five Sons - five brothers. That would become dark and twisted and jealous. They would betray Urfarah and Luna." 

"Using dark and twisted magic with the aid of Ao - a dark god, the Five brothers as you know - betrayed their parents. With the help of Ao. The great Gauntlet would happen. The betrayal of the Five brothers caused the divide of our ancestors. Some being bound to the curse of the Pale ones. Shifting with the cycle of the moon and being stuck in flesh. The first two Packs were born. The Pale ones - and the Humans. Ones that could not put on fur at all."

"But Ao and the Five brothers, didn't just separate Mother Luna and Urfarah - no... no they didn't.."

Vinny said to one of the pups, "Do you know what happened next?" The pup stared at Vinny with big eyes and shook his head no. "Do you want me to tell you?" All the pups said, "Yes Uncle Vinny." Their little sing-song voices made Steve's heart melt.

"Okay... are you sure?" He asked them and they all were nodding - excited - maybe even scared too. 

"So.. Beautiful Mother Luna, she was thrown into the Underworld, down deep into the darkest place - and Ibrandul... he sacrificed himself to go with her.. to keep her safe, because he loved her so very much. But the two of them were tricked, because when this great divide happened? Ao cursed Mother Luna - and she fell into despair, and created the Shadow Fell. She became Shar... the most beautiful and dark, Shadow - the Goddess of not just our Moon, but of the most beautiful world. She made a new world - the Shadow Fell, and she created a new special kind of Wolf with Ibrandul .. Us! the Uratha.. Not bound by the moon like the Pale ones. She came to be with Father Wolf too - changing him into Shadow."

Steve had tears sliding down his face silently. He closed his eyes breathing out softly.

"Father Wolf howled and mourned not just for her, for his Beloved Shar - but for his Brother Ibrandul as well - they had never been apart before you see. They were each others compass - without each other there was no balance. Chaos and sadness followed them - and Shar had two children to Ibrandul in the Shadow Fell, a beautiful Daughter - Mystryl, and a son Far'saesh Elk Brother. They were both lost to Shar, stolen from her. As was her love - Urfarah.. who later would be reborn as a powerful necromancer -  Myrkul, the god of the dead. He would perform sacred magic rites - that would allow for all of them, and others to be reborn. That is why... they are reborn when they die... why they can come back. Why we can all come back."

"Because Father Wolf, had to live a life as a Human - and he forgot who he was - died after performing these dark arts - lost himself for a lifetime. But he corrupted himself, to save all of us. Losing a part of himself to give life to us all over again." Vinny had tears in his eyes, "I didn't know that part of the story till I read it. I didn't know that it stole a piece of his essence to give life to all of us for eternity."

Steve was crying harder now, and he looked over to where Eddie was. He'd sacrificed himself to save all of them. Without anyone even knowing?

"Ibrandul and Urfarah both needed to be together to keep the balance between the worlds, and so when they were separated - the veil became to thin - the Gauntlet, a barrier separating the worlds of the spirits and the flesh. The two brothers could no longer see each other, could no longer connect. The Gauntlet, was a wall that separated the Underworld from the Human world and the Upper worlds. And the Shadow Realm was even further away than that. Shar could not travel as freely either - and Urfarah - died from the great betrayal - what we know as the Sundering. The drastic division of Flesh and Shadow in the wake of the death of Father Wolf."

"Ibrandul and Shar were eventually lost to each other too - Shar alone, lost Herself, lost her form - it is only when Myrkul, did what he did - using such powerful magick that it tore them from the places which they were all scattered, where they reborn, for a chance to be together again. And born through the bloodlines of the White claw and the Black claw. Our bloodlines, our family - who are siting right here with us. Ibrandul and Urfarah, and Shar....are finally here. We are all here, under this Blue Wolf Moon! It is time to celebrate, to put on our fur! It is time to be united and to be a pack again! Were aren't divided if we stand together. Do you choose to believe? Because I know I do!" Vinny got everyone in an uproar - shouting and cheering and clapping - 

He pointed up at the sky, "That is her Sacrifice - her reminder that she made us who we are. Her promise that we are her Children. We are divine and Sacred. Her love, her shadow - her Children! Father Wolf, Urfarah, Ibrandul our Great Warrior Protector... and our Sacred Mother - Made us! And there is a time soon, when there will be a great war to fight - when we will need to protect each other, and fight for them. As they will fight for every single one of Us. Only this time they can't be defeated, because they aren't bound by the Old ways anymore. They're stonger than they were because of the sacrifices they all made." 

Steve couldn't stop shaking, and someone said - "Stevie?" Vinny looked over at Steve - and Steve stared down at his hands - Vinny said into the microphone, "Queala deshtay nay?" Steve felt a strange rippling sensation in his entire body - the claw was humming and vibrating around his neck - and he felt like his hair was all standing up on end - (which later he'd find out it was because it was charged up with energy) Steve felt like his entire body was too hot too, and then as he stared down at his hands they morphed into swirling energy - the crowd getting more excited, and then Steve shifted into his fur. Right there in front of everyone. 

Only he didn't look the same as he'd done before. He was still small - delicate, but his black fur was rippled with flecks of white - around one of his eyes it looked like he had white eyeliner around it. His tail was fluffier and he had shinier claws. Like glass. His eyes were also no longer liquid Gold. They were opalescent white - in the crowd - a woman fainted. And people went to her aid. Steve lifted his head, and he howled - it ricocheted on the air like a sonic boom - covering everyone - he called to them all. He gave them all his love, his protection.  

Every woken wolf's eyes blazed brightly - those that were about to waken? Woke up. In Lyrena's arms? Mina's wolf eyes blazed brightly - a beautiful shade of liquid gold, the color that Steve's used to be. Every single Wolf, heard Steve's voice as he said to them, I am Shar, I am your Mother, I will love you and Protect you - Put on your Fur and Run With Me - Under my Blue Moon, my promise to you that we are all one now. I am Awake, I am Here. I call you to Run with Me. 

Steve howled again, and there was a chorus that broke out - others shifting into their fur as well - joining in - Vinny beside him on the stage, Steve had never seen him in his fur - but he was magnificent - Black as night, with his burning beautiful pink eyes. Mina was the tiniest wolf that Steve had ever seen, she ran to him and he scented her, You stay with me Mina.

Yes Mama. She bounced on her tiny paws, and darted to Kaj and Eddie - but then quickly came back to Steve. Everyone watched as Steve moved to Kaj and Eddie - two White wolves, with the dappled Black one. Steve let out another deep, beautiful Howl - joined in by a chorus of more - hundreds of them. Those that couldn't put on their fur yet - cheering and clapping - music playing and chanting. Steve lead the charge, and they were off - a wild, beautiful huge pack - running through the forest, together. The sound of paws beating through the woods, thunderous and loud.

The Blue Wolf Moon, blazing in the star littered sky - Shar had come home - and Steve? Steve Black was finally free to be who he'd always been born to be. 

Chapter Text

Steve was anxious, he couldn't stop fidgeting - pacing back and forth - Lyrena looked at him, eyeing him - "Stevie, Baby love... come and sit down hmm?" He looked at her and said softly, "I... don't wanna.." He kept pacing, and Lyrena let out a soft little rumbling growl - his eyes widened and then she patted the cushions beside her. 

"Steven, come now." She said softly, but with a firmer tone and he whimpered - but listened to her and she chuckled softly as he let out a little huff and laid down, resting his head in her lap. "So impatient.." She said affectionately, as she curled one of her hands into his hair - while she kept reading her book. 

He pouted, and muttered softly - "It's taking too long Mama.. why is it taking so long." Steve whined softly, and Lyrena sighed - putting her bookmark into her book before setting it down. "They only left yesterday afternoon Baby, they may not be back till tomorrow of the day after.." 

Steve looked at her, his eyes welled up with tears and Lyrena said softly, "Oh Stevie... come now, hush.. no tears." He let out a shaky exhale and snuggled into her, and he whispered - "I'm turning into a Baby, a sook... I'm pathetic." Lyrena laughed softly and he looked up at her again, the tears sliding down his face - "Sweet love, my precious little Bird." Lyrena hummed softly, and wiped his tears away. "You're just emotional, because you are missing them.." 

"Why did they both have to go... it isn't fair.." He sniffled, and Lyrena chuckled, "Well they both had to gather their things yes?" Steve nodded, and muttered softly - "Why didn't they let me go too though.." He bit his lip, and Lyrena said softly - "Because you've been unwell, and they want you to stay here where you can be looked after? Stay here with your pack, who loves you and needs you?" 

Steve looked up at her, "I know.." He said it softly, then he added - "I.. I'm scared something will happen to them while they're gone."

Lyrena gently stroked his face, "They're together, and they're also with Nate and Elias, and River... I think they're safe Birdy, all very strong and capable hmm?" Steve nodded yes, her fingers in his hair soothing him. "We're safe and protected here too?" He asked softly.

Lyrena murmured - "Oh yes, hmm us women up here? Dangerous.." She growled softly, and Steve laughed - he looked up at her and she grinned at him, "Not to mention we still have plenty of strong and capable men up here too." She rolled her eyes and then they both laughed. 

"I.. can't believe what happened the other night." Steve said softly, and Lyrena murmured - "I can... you are so powerful." Steve whispered, "I feel stronger, except for missing Kaj and Eddie.." She smiled, and Steve gently placed his hand against her belly, "You have your lil Pup, and I have mine.. they'll grow up together." He said softly.

Lyrena murmured - "They will, and someday they'll be the ones that share our beautiful land, and our home.." She said softer, "But you will always be my first pup Stevie."

He said softly, "I love you so much, you give me such peace Lyrena. Peace I've never known." Steve stared up at her and Lyrena said softly, "You give that to me as well, my beautiful little Bird." They snuggled each other.

Lyrena said softly, "I need to go and help Missy collect her things - to help her move into her cabin, but you're not allowed to help with that because.. Mischa wants you to take one of the younger pups - a teenager, her name is Lacey she's scared Stevie.. scared to shift into her fur - would you like to help her?"

Steve said softly, "She's frightened? Yes, of course I will help her." He sat up, and Lyrena said softly, "Lets go then yes?" He nodded, "I'll go get Mina.." Lyrena chuckled softly, "I'll go get the truck started, damn thing is a piece of shit." Steve smiled a soft little smile, and then he said softly, "Okay Mama.." 

~*~

Up at the compound, Steve thought about the fact that when they'd left Virginia? He hadn't organized anyone to take car of his dogs - hot tears burned his eyes and he felt so guilty - awful, the dogs running around were following him, and he was crying into his hands - feeling embarrassed and overly emotional. But he couldn't stop his tears, he also felt sick - his tummy churning. 

Vicky looked at him - as she sat beside him, rubbing his back and Steve said hoarsely - "Oh Flame, I just left them... I left them with nothing, nobody..." He sobbed and Robin came out onto the porch - "Stevie! Love, what is wrong!" She knelt down in front of him and he sobbed out, "I just left them Robbie, my dogs... with nobody to look after them..."

Robin took his hands and she said softly, "Stevie Baby, light of my life - no, no you didn't... remember? You forgot didn't you." She stroked his face - and then she said softly, "When we made the plan to go, we asked Jon's friend Argyle to keep watch, he's been staying at your place - feeding the Doggo's - they're safe - they're looked after." 

Steve said shakily, "They... are?" Robin said softly, "Yes beautiful boy. Breathe, its all okay. And they're gonna be with you soon. Jon said something too about bringing Argyle up here with him. You liked him a lot because he was totally into UFO's and aliens and stuff - you don't remember him?"

Steve let out a soft exhale, "He's got beautiful hair.." Vicky let out a soft, sweet laugh - "Yes he does, and he's a perpetual stoner." Steve let out a soft laugh, "And Sweet puppy-dog eyes. Yes I remember him Robbie, I just forgot about the Doggo's.. and.. he also made me pot brownies.. he's gonna be competition for Issy." They all giggled, and Steve rubbed his chest - "Oh.. my heart is beating too fast." 

Robin gently stroked his face, "Sweet Baby getting yourself all stressed out." Steve lifted his gaze, as a tall willowy girl - with beautiful eyes appeared in front of the porch. She had hair almost past her butt, her eyes were the prettiest shade of green. 

"Hi." She said softly, giving them a wave. "I'm Lacey, Lacey Urtez.. Mischa told me to.. come?" Robin said softly, "Hi Lacey, I'm Robin - this is Vicky, and.. this is Stevie - you already know that though.." She let out a soft laugh, and Lacey smiled shyly at Robin - "Yeah.." She looked at Steve, and Steve said softly - "Hi Lacey." He stood up, and then wiped his face - "I'll see you both later okay?" 

He gave both is girls sweet kisses, and then he held his hand out to Lacey. 

She lowered her gaze, but then she took his hand - hers was just as cold as his was, and Steve said softly - "Lets go for a walk yeah?" Lacey said softly - "Sure, yeah okay.." Steve smiled, and then he casually lead her into the treeline - they were quiet, and Steve said softly - "So.. you're afraid to .. put on your fur?" 

The younger girl let out a soft exhale, and then she said - "Yeah I... don't think.. I mean.." Her scent was strong with fear, and she sat down on a log - Steve sat down with her, and he said softly, "Why.. are you afraid?"

Lacey bit her lip, and then she whisper - "Because I don't want anyone to look at me, to see me.. and I .. I'm scared that it will hurt - I've heard what people say, that it.. it's painful - that your bones break and snap.. that it hurts.." Tears spilled down her face, and Steve said softly - "Oh Baby love, no.. no it doesn't hurt at all, I promise.." 

She looked at him - and the she said, "The other night, when... when you shifted in front of all of us... you... it was terrifying, I was so afraid... your hair was standing up off your head."

Steve took hold of her hands, "That was because.. power woke in me that I didn't know I had, that's all. But?" Her eyes met his, "It didn't hurt.." He let out a soft little rumbling growl, and his Wolf eyes burned bright, their soft opalescent glow - a rainbow swirl in them, and Lacey's burned a beautiful vibrant glowing orange like a sunset.

"You don't have to be afraid, I promise you Lacey it doesn't hurt. There is no snapping of bones, about the most dramatic thing is that sometimes if you have to do it in a hurry? You might bust up some clothes." He let out a soft chuckle and Lacey actually smirked.

Steve laughed, "That's another thing, it.. can be a little bit embarrassing at first, you know being naked - if you're not used to it. You said you don't want anyone to see you?" He said softly.

She blushed and nodded yes. 

Steve said softly, "Well you can always shift by yourself for a while, get used to it - being naked, and shifting into your fur. But eventually it doesn't bother you anymore. It's just, part of who we are." Lacey looked at him, and Steve said softly, "Would you like me to show you?" 

"Yes.. please Stevie." Lacey said softly, still blushing - Steve said softly, "Okay.. I'll turn around this way - so.. you don't have to be embarrassed okay?" She nodded and Steve said softly, "Okay Sugar." He stripped off, folded up his clothes and put them on the log. And then he breathed in, then out and shifted into his fur.

He wagged his tail and then moved in closer - and Lacey said softly, "Wow... you are .. magnificent.. up close I mean.. c-can..." 

Can you touch me? Yes, of course you can Lacey. He spoke into her head, and her eyes widened. 

"Holy shit I can hear you talking in my head." Her hands were shaking, but she touched his head - petting him behind the ears, and scratching lazily - and he wagged his tail, and she let out a soft laugh - "It's.. like patting my German Shepperd." 

Steve let out a breathy snort - not sure whether to be offended or not. 

But he licked her face, and then said softly, Do you think you might like to try too?

Her fear kicked up a notch, and Steve nuzzled his face against her hands - "Okay.." She said softly, and then he wagged his tail and turned around - "I.. what do I do though.." She stammered out, and Steve said to her, Just breathe out - and it will happen.

Okay I breathed out.. holy fucking shit. Steve turned around - and beside him stood Lacey in her fur - she was a lithe gangly Wolf, just like in her skin - in her fur she was very similar. Large, but still petite all at the same time. Her fur was a deep chocolate brown dappled with black - her eyes burning like a fiery sunset. 

You didn't run with everyone the other night did you Baby Love. Steve asked her - and she looked at him, I was too frightened Stevie...I can't believe I listened to those moron's, It didn't hurt you were right! Oh holy shit I did it.. thank you... thank you..... thank you!

She let out a sweet little howl, and Steve wagged his tail - and then howled with her, he rubbed his body up along the side of hers and then scented her - nuzzling her face.

Let's run together now, you and me little Sunset - let our paws take us where they may hmm? Steve said to her.

Please, oh.. Stevie everything smells so good, so ... everything can you hear it? What is that.. Lacey said, excited.

Steve laughed in her head, the sound of some birds - singing somewhere in the trees. He wagged his tail and then he said softly, Run little Wolf - Run with Me.

Lacey laughed in his head, and then they were off - she kept up the pace, the two of them sped off - racing through the trees and the undergrowth - as fast as they could, playing together too - and chasing - they ran through the small stream, and then into the river - Steve chasing some fish and Lacey laughing. There was no more fear in her scent, just absolute happiness - and Steve was happy for her. 

They ran far - further than he had ever run before. Deep into the dark wood - further than that. 

They both came to a stop, tired and wanting a rest - they laid down together - and Lacey wagged her tail, laying down beside Steve - she rest her head right beside his. 

I feel so much lighter, not afraid anymore. Lacey said softly.

Steve rumbled in his chest, and said to her. That's good, so good Baby love. You don't need to be afraid - this is who you are. 

I was terrified. Lacey let her eyes close, and Steve scented her - soothing away any possibility of any remaining fear. 

He lifted his head, and then stood up, tip-toeing into the undergrowth - under a thick layer of Kudzu - Steve let out a soft little huff. He'd found it - the place from his vision. It stood there, even more decrepit and more ruined than it had been in his vision. The house, the ruins of it. 

Lacey appeared beside him and she said softly, What is this place - did someone live here once you think?

I think so.. I had a vision about this place. Steve's voice in her head was more a whisper - this place felt familiar to Steve and he didn't know why. 

She wagged her tail, and then snuffed with her nose - tugging a worn looking stuffed Rabbit out from under the bed. 

Oh, oh...that is Mr. Snuffles. It's my B-bunny. I... remember him. Steve shifted back into his skin, "Sorry... I'm sorry.. Lacey," Tears welled up in his eyes as he held the bedraggled looking Rabbit. 

Lacey shifted back into her skin, and she said softly - "It's okay, I... I'm not worried about that, I know you're not either.." Even though they were both naked, Lacey said softly - "This was your Bunny?"

Steve nodded, and he whispered - "Yeah, yes.. I.. I must have been here.."

Images floated into his head - he hadn't been here with just anyone though. Steve had been here with Eddie, with Eddie and Kaj, he saw an image of himself - he must have only been two? Maybe three years old, Kaj three of four? Eddie had them both tucked up in the bed together, and Steve was clutching the Bunny that he was now currently holding onto. 

"You must be good boys and stay here with me, alright?" said Eddie, who was only about thirteen or fourteen. Steve just staring with too big eyes, and Kaj didn't have his wolf-eyes he had green eyes. It was strange to see his eyes looking like that. Vision Eddie said, "We'll be safe here.. it's okay Stevie." 

The images disappeared, and Steve wondered why - why they had been there. What were the safe from? Why had they all been there together? And he had this place show up in his vision, as a safe place for him to have his pups? Steve let out a soft breath, and Lacey said softly - "Are you okay Stevie?" 

He looked at her and said softly, "Yes.. yes I.. I'm sorry I just had.. a memory and I'm not sure what it was about." Steve said softly - "But.. this place, it.. it's where I am going to come when its time for me to have my pups." Lacey said softly, "Oh... oh wow your... your pregnant?"

He smiled and said softly, "Yes...I have two, Bean and Peanut."

Lacey laughed softly, and she said - "...That's cute. Shall we go back?" He nodded and then he saw a piece of worn looking rope - "Will you tie the bunny to my back?" He asked softly and Lacey nodded, "Of course I will. " Steve shifted back into his fur, and Lacey secured Mr. Snuffles to his back with the rope, she shifted back into her fur - and then they made their way back to the clearing where they had left their clothes. 

Steve and Lacey both got dressed, and Steve held the worn bunny in his hands - he knew if he was careful, he could clean it up and he'd be okay - a little raggedy and worn, but Steve wanted to keep him. They made their way back to the compound, and Lacey said softly - "Thank you for helping me Stevie really." 

He held her hand, and said softly - "I'm glad I could, that you feel better? Not scared anymore?"

She curled her arms around him and kissed his cheek, "Definitely not scared, and definitely feeling better. Thank you." He squeezed her close and she laughed softly, "I.. have to go and help my Dad, but.. maybe we can go for a run together again soon?" Steve smiled and he said softly, "Definitely... what are you helping your Dad with?"

Lacey smiled, "Horses.. uh.. he works with your Uncle Nate.." she said softly, pushing her hair behind her ear and Steve smiled - "...I.. my horse I haven't.. god... I.. haven't.."

"Don't worry... he's safe, Eden... right?" She said softly, as she gently touched his face - Lacey rest her forehead against his, and then she whispered - "I am so glad that you didn't succeed out there that night, or.... that you didn't die after ..you know.. that Eden stayed with you, did you know that? He stayed with you and waited - he was their waiting for Kaj."

Steve didn't know that - he whispered shakily, "No... no Lacey, I didn't know... he's.. okay? Eden's okay? My Shadow Pony..."

"Yes he's okay... I've been looking after him - although... he doesn't really like anyone else.." She said with a smile, "He's just your boy. He gets mad as hell, wants to bite me."

Steve let out a shaky exhale, Lacey brushed his tears away - "Come and see him soon?" He nodded and whispered - "I will.. I will tomorrow?"

Lacey smiled, "I'll tell my Dad - he's keeping an eye.. on Nate's place while he's in Virginia with you know.." 

Steve nodded, and then he held his Bunny tighter - Lacey got into her little Volkswagen and he watched her drive way - Steve started crying harder - he didn't  know why - it was Mischa that found him standing there, clutching his Bunny - and sobbing. 

"Steven? My Darling?" Her soft lilting voice, so much like Eddie's made him cry harder - "My sweet boy, come... come inside, come with me.." She said softly, and Steve only cried harder - he missed Eddie, he missed Kaj - he felt too much.

The Bunny was so filthy, but Steve clung to it tighter, and Mischa said softly - "What happened Darling? Why were you just standing out there all alone?" 

Steve couldn't breathe properly, and Mischa said softly - "Where on earth did you get that dirty thing..." She tried to touch it and Steve snarled, eyes going white - and he backed up, and then cowered in the corner - "Steven?" Mischa said softly, he whimpered then - and crawled into the open cupboard - tears still coming out as he sobbed. His scent reeked of fear - almost overwhelming and Mischa said softly, "Sweet Darling, its okay... its alright I'm not going to hurt you." 

Steve curled into himself and turned to face the wall inside the cupboard, trying to hide as he clutched his Bunny. He did not want to come out. Not for Mischa. 

Not for Lyrena when Mischa brought her a little while later. 

Steve was shaking with fear - and he wasn't crying for a little while. But he wouldn't come out. 

When Missy came she couldn't coax him out. 

Robin cooed to Steve softly, with a soft blanket - even she couldn't coax him back out of the cupboard - Steve started crying again, broken - harsh sobs, hiding himself in under the blanket - his face filthy from the dirty Bunny - which he clung too for dear life. He made his soft little clicks with his tongue. Then? He pulled the cupboard shut.

"He hasn't done this for a really long time." Robin said softly, "He's really, really scared right now.." Vicky had tears in her eyes as she said, "Did something happen do you know? When he was out in the woods with Lacey? He was upset earlier about his dogs, he didn't remember that Robin got Argyle to look after them... He was agitated then, said his chest hurt..."

Mischa said softly, "I don't know what happened, I found him outside the house - clutching that thing and sobbing. But he won't speak - I don't know what to do." Lyrena whispered - "He was upset this morning, missing Kaj and Eddie, maybe its just.. all a bit much."

"Leave him be where he is... keep an eye on him, we'll stay here Rena, is that okay Mish?" Missy asked, and Mischa said softly - "Of course it is, Robin sweetheart - you and Vicky can come stay too? We'll have a girls night... but keep an eye on our sweet boy." Robin said softly, "Yes...yes we'll go and get some things and come back." Her eyes were full of tears - from the cupboard, it had gone quiet. And Lyrena very carefully opened it and peeked inside.

Steve was curled into himself, as small as he could get - still clutching the filthy Bunny - sucking his thumb and sound asleep. Mina came in from outside - holding Freddy and she whispered, "What's Mama doing in there?" Her eyes all big, and Lyrena shut the cupboard up again, "Mama is.. not feeling good Sweetpea -"

Mina stared up at Lyrena, and then she said softly, "..Are we staying here tonight?" Lyrena nodded, and Mina curled herself around Mischa's legs - Mischa scooped her up and Mina said softly - "Mama has a bunny just like Freddy!" Mischa looked thoughtful for a moment and then she said softly, "Yes... yes he does.." She looked at Lyrena, and then she handed Mina to her. "I'll be back in a little while."

Missy and Lyrena looked at each other but sat down - and a short time later, Mischa was back clutching photo albums. 

Missy and Lyrena, watching as Mischa rifled through one of them - "No... not...that.. aha!" She exclaimed suddenly, then she pulled out a photo and handed it to them. It was a photo of Eddie, he was about five years old, blazing Blue eyes and a mop of curls, and clutched in his hands - was the same Rabbit.

"Mr. Snuffles... it's Eddie's rabbit." Mischa said softly - "I don't know how Steven has it.. but its the same one, I know it is... and.. I thought it was lost."

The three women just stared at each other, and Missy muttered - "Is there any chance of a beer? I could use a beer." Mischa chuckled, "Of course Nanny."

"Look at his Beautiful eyes Nanny." Lyrena said as they looked at the photo. Missy said, "The hair though... ugh.." 

Lyrena laughed, and Missy said - "Their pups are going to be good looking pups."

Mischa came back with beers for all of them, and Lyrena said softly, "Is... it safe for me?" Missy said, "Of course it is, your not a meat bag."

"Nanny! Don't call them that!." Lyrena said, outraged. 

Mischa just laughed and then she cradled Lyrena's face, soothing her - "It's perfectly safe Rena, Nanny - although crude is correct... things don't affect us the same way. We can smoke, drink - our bodies don't process things the same way as Humans. It's perfectly fine." 

Lyrena shot Missy a dirty-look and huffed, and Mischa snickered - "I ... know why River calls them that now.." 

Missy smirked, "Well... its what they are... meat.. you know?" She bared her fangs and nipped at the air - and Lyrena nearly spat her mouthful of beer out - "Oh... good Moon." She started laughing and Mischa snickered - "... Now we know why you and Steven bite the air... I love that, its so precious." 

Missy said dryly, "I'd bite some meat bag, but.. I'm too old and they run too fast." She sighed wistfully - and Lyrena poked her, "You are a nasty little woman."

"I am a truth teller, you don't like it... not my problem..." Missy said with a smirk, taking a swig of her beer - "Back in the old days it wasn't uncommon to find some scoundrel and hunt them in the woods... should bring that shit back... might be less fucking assholes in the world." 

Her wolf eyes burned bright - and Mischa huffed out - "Oh don't let Eddie hear you say that, he'd probably find one and deliver it straight to you, gift wrapped.." Her eyes blazing and Missy hummed softly. 

"I think I'm going to make Tofu-loaf for Stevie... he...l-likes i-it.." Lyrena said softly, and Missy scented her, "Sweet dove, so sensitive... I'm just messing with you Rena.." Missy said, but she winked at Mischa. "Nom Nom Nom... tofu-loaf.." Then she fake-gagged.

"I .. you really are getting on my nerves Nanny.." Lyrena huffed out, "I'm... going to find my Vinny.." She said softly, tears in her eyes. "Let me know if...Stevie needs me please?" 

Mischa said softly, "Rena Sweetheart, why don't you go lay down in the spare room for a little bit.. I'll get Vinny to come - he's with Sammy, but I'll get him to come... Stevie's alright where he is for now.. I'll keep an eye on Mini Mina."

Lyrena nodded, and Missy grabbed her hand, kissing it - "Rena my Baby... I didn't mean to upset you my sweet Beautiful girl." Lyrena whispered, "I know... I know you didn't Mama." Mischa smiled, and then she curled her arms around Lyrena, scenting her to soothe her. "I know you're feeling anxious and frightened.. but Steve's safe in the cupboard."

Missy laughed softly, "Sorry... that.. I shouldn't laugh but... you hafta admit that sounds really silly."

Lyrena let out a soft little teary giggle, and then she brushed her fingers over the photo of Eddie. "You should have these out Mish... all our family photos.. we should have them out... not hidden away in dusty albums.." 

Misha said softly, "You are right my Darling, we should get copies of them - of our photos, and share them between us? Have them out for everyone to see?" Missy smiled at them both, and Lyrena said softly, "Yes... yes we should."

Misha said softly, "When.. Papa died - they sent me all his things, I have... things for Kaj - I just haven't sorted through them... he doesn't even know.. will you help me do that for him?"

Lyrena said softly, "Of course I will Misha... of course I will, I love him. Kaj.... so much.. He's beautiful." Mischa said softly - "Yes he is... they both are aren't they... with a side of twisty Eddie.."

Missy said with a dark chuckle, "Yeah.. still gotta keep an eye on him, hmm? Dark little fucker."

Mischa murmured, "Yes... Nanny, but don't count Steven out on that front either... okay? He has a little dark in him too... I think he just hides it well - you both know... they took out Nancy?" Both woman looked at Mischa, and she said softly - "...It was Steven that did it.."

They looked at each other quietly and Lyrena said softly, "Hmm that's why he thinks he's a monster.... my sweet Baby.. I told him to eat the bad ones.." She blushed deeply - and looked at Missy, "Its...what you always told me Mama." 

Missy chuckled - "You've never eaten meat bag in your life - but you comforted him with my words, you're a good Mama Rena... and the most beautiful soul. Nothing wrong with being a little dark. I say Eddie is fine - just... keep our eyes on him. We can do that."

Lyrena said softly, "I'm going to lay down... please.. find my Vinny?" Mischa said softly, "Go Beautiful, I will send him in." Lyrena left the room - and Mischa stroked Missy's hair affectionately, "You're a rebel rouser Nanny... I adore you." 

Missy chuckled, "I adore you too Mischa Blue. I know you got a little spice in your teeth too don't cha." 

Mischa smirked, "Of course I do... you know all the boys fear me around here Nanny.." 

"As they should - a powerful woman.." Missy said with a grin - and Mischa laughed, going to the kitchen so she could phone Vinny. 

Missy moved over to the cupboard and opened it - then she put the photo of Eddie in there with Steve. "You sleep tight in there my precious Grandson - Nanny will keep watch out here. I won't let anyone hurt you." She said softly, and Steve let out a soft little whimper in his sleep. 

~*~

Kaj was tired, he was actually grumpy - and to be perfectly frank - he was feeling a bit on edge. It wasn't something he was used to feeling - it was the damn cracks. He knew it and he knew he couldn't stop it. He was also worried about having had to leave Steve behind, Kaj didn't like that. He hadn't liked seeing Steve upset, because even though Steve had been smiling and happy? Kaj knew. He knew that he wasn't - that he was pretending he was fine with it, and Kaj didn't like that either. But everyone thought it was the best idea, to just take the trucks and they'd go and get everything packed up and then they'd all come back again. 

He still didn't like it. Eddie hadn't said anything - and him and Kaj hadn't really talked because they'd been in separate vehicles. Eddie had been with River, and Kaj? He'd been with Jonathan and Michael. The two of them joking and talking a lot and it had been fine at first? But then it started to irk him - because Kaj was tired, and he was grumpy - and he was feeling on edge. And he wasn't in the mood for idle chat and joking. Kaj just wanted to get to Virginia - get it over with and get back. 

They'd started at Robin and Vicky's place first because their place was the smallest, then they'd gone to Eddies. Kaj felt weird being in his house - like he didn't know where to put himself, he felt strange touching his stuff. Eddie had been laughing with River, and Kaj caught him staring at him a few times, which made Kaj uncomfortable - and it made him even more on edge. They got his place packed up, and then they went to Jonathan's, that was easy. Over and done with, no fuss. 

Then they went to His place.

Kaj didn't really have much. Most of his important shit? Was already in Washington up on the mountain. He packed up what other stuff he did want to take - which wasn't a lot. He had no personal items, not really, no family memorabilia. The only photos he did have? Were a few of him and Steve, that were on his fridge. He carefully packed those into an envelope, feeling that ache in his belly as he did - and he caught Eddie staring at him again, Kaj growled at him and Eddie left the room. Goddamn creeper.

They left Steve's place till last - because of the Dogs. 

Steve didn't really have much personal stuff either. Just furniture and clothes - regular stuff. But like Kaj? He had no family stuff, or if he did it wasn't out for display either. Kaj found his stuff in the wardrobe though. Locked boxes - he put those into the truck with him, he was doing that? When Eddie said, "I'm travelling back with you.. Michael for some reason wanted to go back with River, and Jonathan..." He glanced at Jonathan who was stoned off his face - and laughing with Argyle. Argyle was a weird guy - Kaj wasn't sure what to make of him. He kept talking about Aliens. Steve? Yeah, Steve was going to love this kid.

"Great." Kaj said sarcastically, and Eddie's jaw twitched. "If you have a problem, take it up with them.. don't look at me it wasn't my idea." Eddie said in a tight voice. 

Kaj snorted and growled, "Whatever if you don't talk the entire drive back, that will be a fucking blessing.." He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily, watching as Eddie moved some of his personal things out of Rivers truck and into the back of Kaj's. Like he didn't want to part with them - or didn't trust them to be in Rivers truck without him. 

Kaj eyed them and Eddie shut the door. "You need to get the dogs... they're misbehaving." Eddie said simply, sitting in the passenger side and lighting a cigarette. He had that snooty look on his face and Kaj gave him a dark look. 

But he headed off and then let out an ear piercing whistle. All five dogs suddenly appeared out of nowhere - lead by Thatch of course. 

"Der har du hundebørn. Kom, kom nu." (There you are dog children. Come, come now.) Kaj said to them - and Thatch barked at the others, who all obediently followed Kaj - River laughed hard, "They just do as you say?" Kaj laughed, "Well if you think that's something - wait till you see them with Stevie.. He talks to them properly." 

River's eyes were all twinkly, and Kaj opened the cages on the back of River's truck, "Kom nu." (Come now) Thatch leapt up, followed by the others. Kaj said - "Don't try to touch them if you can help it... especially Thatch.. this one.." He pointed at Thatch, who licked his fingers through the cage. 

"He might look friendly, but.. well he's more feral than a feral Uratha at this point." Kaj said and River laughed, "Will remember - don't touch the guy with the different colored eyes." River said, patting Kaj's shoulder - "...Sorry about fuckface, he wanted to travel with you - don't know why." The older man told him, and then he climbed into the truck.

What the fuck? Eddie wanted to travel with him? 

Kaj wondered why - and why had Eddie lied about it? He scratched his cheek and then patted the roof of River's truck, "Will see you back home." He said quietly, "See you back home.." River started up the truck and Michael said - "Later Kaj." Kaj gave Michael a wave - and then River pulled out. It was only Eddie and Kaj left - and Kaj let out a heavy exhale, and then he went back into the house. 

He went into Steve's bedroom, and picked up the last box of stuff - finding a cassette tape. Kaj had actually made it for Steve - a mixture of songs - that he had written on it Valhalla I am Coming. Kaj let out a soft laugh, he'd been heavily into Led Zepplin at the time. 

"I was such a fucking asshole.." He muttered softly, and then he tensed up as Eddie said - "Are you alright?" The older man's voice was lilting and soft - quiet. And Kaj shoved the tape into the pocket of his jeans, "Ja I'm fine, let's get out of here.." He muttered, and Eddie just stood in the doorway - blocking Kaj from getting past. 

"Move out the way." Kaj said with a little grit in his voice. 

Eddie took the box, he set it down on the floor - and Kaj breathed out sharply as Eddie curled his fingers against his face - Kaj flinched - and Eddie said quietly, "You smell wrong."

I smell wrong? What the fuck?

"Don't fucking touch me." Kaj's voice came out all weird - shaky and he wanted it to be angry - because he was angry. Not shaky - but then he was crying? 

Eddie looked surprised? Startled - by him crying - Kaj was fucking surprised by it too - he picked the box up off the floor and shoved past Eddie - and made his way out of the house - leaving Eddie to lock the door as he put the box into the back seat, while wiping his face. Fucking creeper.

~*~

Eddie had been watching him. Kaj - the younger man had been on edge - for days. Slowly getting worse with it. After the night when Steve had come into his own - when they'd all gone for a pack run under the Blue Moon. It had started before that - but then gotten worse. He'd been hiding it well, up until he couldn't. At least not from Eddie - he could smell something off in Kaj's scent - he usually smelt very pleasant actually. Like pine and leather and smokey fires, very pleasant indeed. But something was wrong. He smelt like distress and fear - his scent was slightly too acidic. 

At least it was to Eddie. Kaj was as attentive as he always seemed to be with Steve, with everyone else. He looked exhausted though, the way he was carrying himself was off as well. Kaj kept rubbing his shoulder, when he thought nobody was looking. 

And of course Eddie was always looking. It's what Eddie did. 

Watched everyone around him. Kaj watching had become a habit. Like getting under his skin - although, Eddie had stopped doing that as much, eased up on the teasing. It was because he knew something was wrong, he decided to stop pushing his buttons, and just watch instead. Eddie noticed that the younger man wasn't eating very much - he wondered if he was actually sleeping because it didn't look like he was. Kaj was on edge, he was starting to snap at people - short tempered. The only time he wasn't was with Steve, Missy - or Lyrena. 

Even his beloved Michael got a snap here and there. So yes - Eddie knew that something wasn't right. As well as his scent being wrong. 

Eddie locked up the house, he picked up a lonely plant that had been missed on the porch and carried it with him as he went down the steps - he put it in the backseat, well on the floor and then he said to Kaj, "Give me the keys." Kaj looked at him, and Eddie said - "Give me the keys." Kaj growled in his throat, but handed them over - and Eddie said, "Good boy." That made Kaj growl again and Eddie just let out a soft little chuckle and then he got into the drivers seat.

Kaj muttered in Danish under his breath and then went around to the other side and climbed in - Eddie started the truck up and then they were off. Kaj let out heavy sigh beside him - and he looked decidedly uncomfortable - Eddie stayed quiet, not bringing up Kaj crying. Because he hadn't been the only one that had been surprised by it. Maybe it was because Eddie had confronted him, touched him and startled him? Eddie had tried to ask him if he was alright. 

That didn't really work - and so Eddie had touched him. Then Kaj had started to cry. Only to then tell Eddie not to touch him while crying.

It both surprised him, and worried him at the same time. Because it just meant that he'd been right. Not only was his scent wrong?

Kaj was not okay. And it bothered Eddie. It bothered him a great deal. 

Eddie gave the younger man the side-eye whilst he was driving. Kaj was leaning against the door -  he had his eyes closed, and occasionally he would lick his lips and then make a face. He kept shifting too, and he startled Eddie when he said suddenly, "Stop fucking looking at me.." His voice was gruff, and his nostrils flared - his jaw twitching, and then he was staring at Eddie. His startling eyes burning bright. "Why don't you take a fucking photo? Huh? Fuck sake!" Kaj snapped at him.

Eddie turned his attention back to the road and said nothing. 

They'd been on the road for a couple of hours, and Kaj said - "We need to stop for a bit .. I need to take a piss - stretch my legs... something.. fuck.." He was becoming even more agitated, and Eddie said quietly, "Yes okay.." They passed a sign that said there was a town up ahead, but Kaj growled out - "I can't.. we need to pull over now." Eddie pulled over, looking at Kaj as he pulled himself out of the car. He stayed where he was - Kaj slammed the door shut and then he went at sat on top of the picnic table that was in the middle of the rest area. 

Eddie watched him rubbing his shoulder again and then the back of his neck. 

He's in pain.

Kaj was sitting with his head in his hands - pinching the bridge of his nose again - then it looked like he was sitting their praying. Till he rolled his head on his shoulder, and sat there rubbing his shoulder. Eddie didn't know what was wrong with him? He hadn't noticed anything - but then he hadn't been looking? Maybe he should have looked. Eddie wasn't going to go and ask him though, he had already got his head bitten off nearly. Not to mention the crying - he didn't really want to make him cry again. He was trying not to be an asshole. 

Kaj lit a cigarette and took a drag, flicking ash away - and Eddie thought about when he was a child. He'd been small then - he certainly wasn't small anymore. Eddie snorted to himself and lit his own cigarette, winding the window down. Giant bastard.

The younger man flicked his cigarette away, he got up and then got back in the truck - he sat there silently, and Eddie said - "Are you hungry?" Kaj grunted softly in reply - and Eddie said, "That is not an answer." Kaj sighed and then muttered, "Ja, I could eat."

Eddie flicked his butt out the window, "We will stop and eat at the.. diner, maybe if you eat you'll feel better." He said and Kaj muttered, "I'm fine." Eddie started the truck up and didn't reply to that, and Kaj tapped his fingers against the door frame. 

When they pulled up outside the diner, it was pretty busy - and Eddie parked the truck, it was starting to get dark already - it was going to be a long drive home. They went inside, getting a booth - the waitress coming over and Eddie ordered himself a Steak and baked potato, with salad. Kaj got himself a piece of blueberry pie and ice cream.

"That's all you're going to eat?" Eddie asked him, and Kaj just looked at him - Eddie said to the waitress, "He'll have the same as me as well." Kaj looked at him, "I'm not hungry." He muttered darkly, and Eddie said - "You're eating it."

Kaj was holding the knife in his hand like he was contemplating stabbing Eddie with it. 

He put it back down, and Eddie called out to the waitress - "Could we both get a chocolate milkshake too please." She winked at him and said, "Sure thing Honey." Kaj just stared out the window, "You used to like them when you were small." Eddie said casually, and Kaj muttered - "What?"

"When you were small - like four, you used to like chocolate milkshakes." Eddie said - pretending to reorganise the napkins. Kaj breathed out sharply - his nostrils flaring a little - and then he was looking at Eddie with the slight off-to the side thing. "..How do you know that?" Kaj asked him. "Because I used to buy them for you." Eddie had moved onto the sugar packets. 

"...You used to buy them for me." Kaj repeated - Eddie said, "Yes - when I took you from Niklaus and Katija's." 

"Took me?" Kaj took the container of sugar packets away - and moved it to the other side of the table. 

Their eyes met and Eddie said - "Yes."

"You....took me from my parents?" Kaj asked him slowly, like Eddie hadn't already said it. 

Eddie was playing with his cutlery - and Kaj suddenly gripped his hands, vice tight - to stop him from doing it. 

"What the fuck are you talking about Eddie?" The younger man asked him, eyes now on Eddie's face - and Eddie stared back at him. "It was before they took you to Denmark - I used to take you to the ice cream place every day and get you a chocolate milkshake." He felt Kaj's grip on his hands ease and then he pulled his hands away.

"So they knew you were.. doing that." He muttered - staring out the window. "Well yes, obviously - what did you think I abducted you?" Eddie said, and Kaj just looked at him.

The waitress dropped off their milkshakes, "Your food will be out soon boys.." She said, and Eddie called after her - "Thank you.." He pushed Kaj's milkshake towards him - and Kaj took a sip. They looked at each other, and then Kaj muttered - "It's good.." He took another sip and Eddie took a sip of his, "Hmm.. yes." He was fidgeting again with the salt n pepper shakers.

"Good .. would you stop it!" Kaj glared at him and then moved those away as well. "Stop fidgeting for fucks sake!" He barked it out at him and Eddie just sipped his milkshake. 

Kaj breathed out in a rush, and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"...Why were you taking me to get milkshakes everyday." He asked suddenly - and Eddie sipped his - "Because you would ask me everyday." He shrugged and Kaj said - "I sounded annoying." 

Eddie laughed softly, "No.. I didn't mind." He said softly.

Kaj muttered - "So.. uh back then did.. I mean were we together a lot?" 

"Yeah.. because Niklaus and Mama were brother and sister, so... they were you know. Katija and Mama were friends - despite the fact that Niklaus was with her too. And of course.. he was with Bobby in secret, or maybe not even in secret..." Eddie was now fidgeting with the rings on his fingers - because Kaj couldn't stop him from doing that.

"So... you got to see Steve when he was small too?" Kaj asked him - and Eddie lifted his gaze, just staring at Kaj - "Yes." He said simply - and Kaj stared back - "Did you..." Kaj wanted to ask him something, but he didn't finish - and Eddie lowered his gaze. "...sick fuck." Kaj growled it and Eddie breathed out sharply. Kaj stared out the window - his jaw twitching, and Eddie was startled by the waitress as she suddenly appeared with their food. 

Eddie didn't really feel hungry anymore. His appetite was replaced by an empty hollow churning in his stomach - sick fuck. 

It hadn't been something he could control. His thoughts, his feelings. He had never touched Steve then. Not then. He had wanted too. Of course he had. But he never did. But Kaj was right. He had been a sick fuck. Even then. 

Tears slid down Eddie's face and he closed his eyes tightly. 

Eddie heard Kaj breathe out heavily, and he kept his eyes down on the food in front of him. 

"I'm sorry." Kaj said gruffly. "I shouldn't have said that." 

"It's fine, its true anyway." Eddie said almost inaudibly. And He let out a heavy exhale - he wiped at his face, and then picked at his food. He just felt heavy and tired - exhausted and Eddie said suddenly, "I.. need to sleep, try to sleep - for a while before we hit the road again. So I'm going to get us both a room at that motel. We can get back in the road after that." He muttered, throwing some money down to pay for their food. 

He added, "I'll make sure your key is at the desk for you when your done here." Eddie walked out and left Kaj in the diner. He didn't want to hang around - he just wanted to be alone. Eddie grabbed the small bag he'd packed some stuff in from the truck, and then he headed to the motel.

Chapter Text

Kaj sat in the diner for a while - he had felt like shit when he saw Eddie fall apart after he'd called him a sick fuck. The fact that he'd hurt him and then he cried - yeah, that didn't actually make him feel good. It just hurt. It hurt seeing him crying, seeing him broken. 

Why was he feeling bad for making him feel like shit?

Kaj was a fucking head-case. That's what it boiled down too. He was not right in the head, something was coming unravelled in his brain and he didn't know how to stop it. 

He stared at his half-finished milkshake. 

The fact that Eddie had taken him to get one everyday? What the hell was that even about - like he just casually shared it. Kaj felt weird, he couldn't bring himself to eat the food sitting in front of him.

He got up and headed out of the diner - and made his way across the street to the motel. The woman behind the front desk slipped him the key to his room and Kaj sighed softly as he went back outside - he knew he wasn't going to actually sleep. 

But he could stretch out on a bed, which would be better than spending more time cramped up in the truck - however long he got before Eddie wanted to get back on the road. 

Kaj looked at the key and then headed down to the room, he unlocked the door and went inside - and then stared at Eddie who was laying shirtless - on a double bed and wearing glasses? While reading a book.

What the fuck?

"Do I have the wrong room?" He asked, and Eddie muttered - "They only had this one left. So." He shrugged and went back to reading his book. 

Kaj stared at Eddie - and then he sighed wearily, "Right. Sure." 

He muttered and then sat on the end of the bed. Kaj was so exhausted that he didn't really give a fuck - he knew he wasn't going to sleep, so what did it matter. He'd take a shower and then he'd just lay down - next to the creeper. Jesus Christ. 

Eddie had obviously had a shower - smelling of expensive shit. 

He let out a soft snort, he just smelt like that anyway. Snooty fucking Bastard. Kaj sat there, undoing his hair - and then he undid his boots and threw them off to the side out of the way. He tugged off his socks and then finished undoing his hair, combing it out with his fingers. 

Kaj tugged his shirt off, and let out a soft hiss as he felt the deep burn in his shoulder. Behind him, Eddie coughed a little and then noisily turned the page of his book. 

He ignored him, grabbing his toiletry bag which he'd got out the truck - he got up and went into the bathroom. He took a shower, turning the water up as hot as he could get it - which wasn't that hot, he realized it was probably because Eddie had already showered and used it all up. Fucking Asshole.

Kaj stayed in there for a long time, till the water felt like it was cold and useless. Then Kaj climbed out and dried himself off. He combed his hair - and pulled on his clean sweatpants. He plugged in the motel's hair dryer and then dried his hair off. 

Kaj brushed it out and then he left it unbraided, he flicked the bathroom light off and came back into the room and Eddie was laying there asleep? With his stupid glasses still on his face. 

Kaj didn't even know he wore glasses, he snorted and then moved to the other side, grabbing the pillow - he flopped down, with force. Deliberately - waking Eddie up - However that backfired on him, because he also hurt himself in the process so it was kind of a fail.

"Shit.. fuck.." Eddie muttered, and then he set his book beside him and was taking off his glasses. He eyed Kaj - but Kaj was laying on his back, clutching at his shoulder - and breathing out harshly.

Eddie shifted, looking at him - "What the hell is wrong with you?" He said it all stern - and Kaj shook his head, "Nothing, it's nothing."

"Show me, let me see.." Eddie was pulling at his arm, and Kaj growled out - "No! It's.. Nothing." Eddie tugged his arm away, "What are you.." He went quiet - and then he said "Jesus Christ.. How the fuck did you get that?"

Kaj muttered, "It's nothing.." He swatted Eddie's hand, but the older man had pushed his hair back - Eddie went in to touch him, to touch his scar but Kaj grabbed hold of Eddie's hand, stopping him before he could - his grip vice tight.

Eddie said quietly, "How did you get it?" 

Kaj let go of Eddie's hand, expecting him to pull it away - but no - Eddie immediately went and touched it, stroking his fingers over it - Kaj hated the scar. It was ugly and vicious, and he was pretty sure that it had never really healed on the inside properly. "I don't understand how.. have you even got it?" Eddie murmured - he looked fascinated by it. 

It was a bit fucking disturbing. Did he know nothing about Wolfsbane? Kaj was always surprised when Eddie didn't know something Wolf related, he forgot that Eddie wasn't as knowledgeable about everything.

Kaj muttered softly, "I was attacked by an asshole with a knife." Eddie's gaze shifted from his scar - to Kaj's face, "Yes but... oh was it a silver knife?" Eddie murmured, stroking his fingers down the length of it and Kaj pushed his hand away. 

Eddie pulled his hand back, but he just sat there - waiting for Kaj to answer him.

Kaj said gruffly, "No it wasn't silver. The knife was coated in Monkshood, its a specific type of Wolfsbane. It's toxic to Us.. can kill us. It.. nearly did kill me." Kaj shifted a little to take the weight off his shoulder, and Eddie said - "It's painful.."

It wasn't a question, and Kaj muttered softly - "At the moment, yes.. very." Eddie said - "The day.. in the woods your hair was hiding it." 

Kaj muttered, "What?"

Eddie said quietly, "The day in the woods, with Stevie.. I didn't see it... this.." He was fucking touching it again, and Kaj muttered - "Fuck.. stop touching it, you act like you've never seen a scar before.. fucking weirdo.." 

Eddie let out a soft laugh, then he murmured - "I... sorry.." He wasn't though, because he was still touching. His fingers stroked down and he said, "They sliced you open..." 

Kaj growled out, "You don't need to get all excited about it.." He smacked Eddie's hand away, as he tried to pull himself up - but it just made the pain worse.

Eddie said quietly - "I.. have something that might help.. with the pain." Kaj watched him get up - Eddie moved over to the chair where he had his bag and he was rummaging around in it - he came back with a bottle with some kind of liquid - oil in it. 

"Try this." Eddie gave it to him, and Kaj just looked at it. "...What is it.." Kaj said dubiously, and Eddie let out a soft huff - "It's oil for pain, smell it.. it smells good." He said and Kaj looked at him, he opened it and gave it a sniff. It smelt really good, all spicy and woody. "Hmm.. yeah." Kaj muttered.

Eddie looked at him, watching him - "I.. can put it on you if you want." He said quietly and Kaj looked at him. 

"...The hell are you doing?" Kaj said quietly. "This is... you're being really weird."

"Am I? How am I being weird. You're in pain, are you going to be able to do it yourself?" Eddie asked him, "You can't even move without making a face."

Kaj muttered - "I'm.. fine I don't need it." He handed the bottle back to Eddie - "I.. can handle it."

Eddie looked at him, Kaj looked away - "Fine then. Suit yourself.." Eddie murmured. 

Kaj felt him shift away - and then Eddie flicked off the light and laid down beside him. Kaj shifted slowly, fire burning through his shoulder - he closed his eyes tightly and he couldn't hold in the pained noise that escaped. It was too loud in the quietness of the room, and it hurt so badly that Kaj felt like the air got punched out of his lungs.

The room wasn't as dark as Kaj's eyes adjusted to it - and he dug his fingers into the bed underneath him. Eddie said quietly - "Please just let me help you Kaj."

"Ja.. Ja okay... Fuck.." He groaned it out, and Eddie shifted - moving in closer he murmured - "Do you want me to turn the light back on? I can see fine like this."

Kaj muttered, "I... d-don't need it on, it's fine.." He was breathing harshly, and Eddie said - "Okay.. can you sit up, or.. what do you want me to do.."

"I.. don't know.." He said hoarsely, "It hurts to fucking move.."

Eddie said quietly, "I'll just.. put it on.. and maybe you'll be able to move once it gets into your skin hmm?"

"Yeah.. ja okay.." Kaj's voice was rough, and he was struggling not to actually cry again - which he didn't want to do.

Eddie said quietly, "It's alright Kaj." He stroked Kaj's face - like he'd done earlier at the house.

Kaj muttered - "Don't... don't do that.."

"Okay.." Eddie said if even softer, and he stroked his fingers down against Kaj's neck - brushing his hair back, "I'm just going to move your hair out of the way hmm?" Eddie murmured it softly.

Kaj whispered, "Ja, Ja okay.."

He smelt the oil - as Eddie opened the bottle - felt it land on his skin, just a small amount. Eddie stroked his fingers slowly, and Kaj tried not to think about how fucking weird it was. How Eddie seemed fixated on his scar. But Eddie said quietly, "Lift your head? Move it closer to me for a moment so I can move your hair again." 

Kaj did - and he breathed out his fingers digging in - into the bed, but then into Eddie - "Fuck I'm sorry.." He hissed out, and Eddie said - "It's okay... it's alright Kaj."

Eddie brushed his hair back - exposing his neck and baring his shoulder and then he was spreading more of the oil onto his skin, and Eddie wasn't being gentle - he was massaging it in, and doing it deeply with his fingers - into the muscle, and it felt good. Really fucking good.

"Tight, its really tight..." Eddie murmured, and Kaj hissed out - "Fuck... it.. hurts.." 

But he groaned with it and rest his head against Eddie's legs, Eddie stroked his fingers against his scar again - gentler and Kaj breathed out slowly. 

Eddie stroked the oil down the entire length and Kaj could feel the heat of it, a slight humming burn - it felt really good. The heat sinking in, he didn't want the heat to go away. 

"Fuck.. feels.. better already.." Kaj's voice was all lazy. 

Eddie's fingers hit the part of his scar that was near his nipple, "Fuck.." 

Kaj hissed out, and he grabbed hold of Eddie's wrist, "Not... there.."

Eddie murmured, "Sorry... hmm.." He said, "Do you want me to do your neck some more? Into the muscle.."

Kaj said softly, "Yeah, yeah okay?." He let go of Eddie's wrist - and let out a soft hiss as Eddie's fingers brushed over the same part of his scar where his nipple was again - then moved higher, and Kaj felt the heat buzzing, the smell was really good too. He groaned out, "Fuck.. don't do that.."

He felt like Eddie maybe did it on purpose, But.. that would be crazy. Right?

"Can you move now?" Eddie said quietly, and Kaj breathed out slowly - "Uh.. think.. so.. maybe.." He shifted, and Eddie breathed out against his face, Kaj hung his head, his hair falling down and Eddie said, 'I'll help... lay on your stomach.." 

Kaj murmured, "Ja.. o-okay.." Eddie helped him, and Kaj felt a bit weird - he wasn't sure. But he laid down, and Eddie pulled his hair away again, shifting it to the other side. And then Eddie straddled him.

Oh shit, fuck. Okay.

He stayed quiet, and Eddie twisted his hair gently, moving it out the way - and baring his back. Kaj felt him pour more of the oil onto his skin - and then - then Eddie's fucking hands, they worked their magic. 

Eddie had magic hands. Kaj felt him dig his fingers in, working them into his muscle, into the places that hurt - and it felt so damn good, that Kaj groaned - he breathed out heavily, the oil tingling, but Eddie knew what the fuck he was doing.

"Fuck.." Kaj moaned it out, and Eddie murmured - "Good?"

"Yeah.. yeah feels.. really good." Kaj felt Eddie move his hands down lower, and he breathed out heavier - Kaj gripped his hands against the pillow, and he said hoarsely, "Eddie.. you.. you can.. stop now.."

Eddie murmured against his ear, "You.. want me to stop? You're still so.. tight.." He whispered the last word, and Kaj groaned out, "...Fuck.." He could feel something hard poking into him and he knew what it was. Jesus Christ.

Eddie murmured softly, "I can keep going...hmm?" His hands moved down, and Kaj moaned "Eddie.. w-what are you doing.." Eddie's voice was all rumbly and soft, as he said against Kaj's ear, "Making you feel better... You can.. just lay here and relax..."

Kaj let out a shaky heavy exhale, and Eddie whispered - "Do you feel good?"

"Yeah.. yeah..." He moaned it as Eddie dug his fingers in - and then Eddie murmured - "Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yeah, ja okay.." Kaj muttered softly, and Eddie breathed out against his ear, murmuring - "Yeah? Okay then.."

He dug his fingers in, and Kaj felt Eddie move them into every aching muscle - working out the tension, taking the pain away. He kept letting out soft, moans, he couldn't help it - it felt so damn good. Kaj felt tears in his eyes a few times. Eddie's fingers worked down his back, the older man was quiet - as he focused on different places that Kaj didn't even know were sore. Kaj breathed out heavily, and Eddie murmured against his ear, "Breathe.. it's okay.."

Kaj felt Eddie tug his pants - and he let out a heavy exhale again, "Lift your hips up Baby.." Eddie said it husky and soft against his ear - and Kaj did as he was told, "Good boy..." Eddie murmured, and Kaj felt his cock fucking twitch. 

"Y-you... can stop now, I'm.. g-good.." Kaj's voice sounded rough, and he was breathing heavily. 

Eddie pulled his pants down his legs and then he was using more oil, and his hands were massaging Kaj's legs. Eddie working his fingers - and Kaj curled his into the pillow as Eddie moved back up, the older man's fingers digging into his ass - and Kaj let out a deep moan, "Fuck.. Ed..." He didn't finish, Eddie bit against his ass cheek - and then spread them - and Eddie was licking against his hole.

"Fucking.. fuck.." Kaj groaned it out, he sounded wrecked - his fingers gripping the pillow - and Eddie gripped his ass cheeks, but he was moaning as he buried his tongue deep in Kaj's ass, Kaj was breathing heavily, "Eddie.. the.. f-fuck..." 

Eddie moaned, licking into him and sucking - Kaj buried his face into the pillow, and he felt his cock leak. He breathed out heavily, and Eddie just buried his tongue deeper - Kaj let out a needy noise - a noise he'd never heard himself make in his life. He breathed out shakily, Eddie growled out - "You taste so fucking good.." His voice was rough and he bit Kaj's ass cheek again.

Kaj felt like he was going crazy, he felt the older man licked up his back, and Kaj let out a shaky exhale, he was so hard - and he didn't know what the fuck was even happening anymore. Eddie had just had his tongue inside him, and Kaj fucking liked it.

Jesus fucking Christ.

No he loved it.

Kaj was breathing out in shaky, heavy breaths - and Eddie licked up his back, he let out a dirty - rough strangled, noise - as Eddie's fingers, slick with more oil, suddenly were buried in his ass. Kaj didn't know what to do. "F-Fuck..." 

Eddie growled against his ear, "Hush Baby... let me take care of you.. hmm you can make more pretty noises for me..." He twisted his fingers in deep, and stretched them out - and it both hurt, and felt good - He felt the full body shiver rock through him, and he was making that noise again - needy and desperate - not knowing whether to push back on Eddie's fingers - or to try to get them out. 

He was so shocked? Turned on, freaked out - he didn't know, he'd never had anything up his ass, and his cock was leaking obscenely - he clenched tight around Eddie's fingers, and Eddie said huskily, "Hmm.. good boy.. good boy.. you like it.."

Kaj groaned out, "Fucking...stop.. oh.. fuck.." He didn't mean it though, and they both knew he didn't the way he pushed back and Eddie whispered - "Hush.. hmm it's just us..." He licked against the shell of his ear, and Kaj felt heat surge through his entire body - Eddie rocked his fingers, and Kaj grunted soft and dirty - as Eddie whispered, " Do you still want me to stop.. hmm? Still want me to take my fingers out of you sweet pussy.. god you've never had anything inside you before.. have you Baby..."

He whimpered, Kaj fucking whimpered.

Eddie said huskily, "Do you want me to kiss you Kaj? Taste your sweet mouth.. tell me.."

Kaj thought he was going to cum, he was starting to shake with it - so close - he was so close - and then Eddie slid his fingers out - "No..." He moaned it out, and Eddie licked against his cheek, Kaj was shaking, and Eddie pushed his fingers into Kaj's mouth - "Suck on my fingers.." His voice all rough and dirty and Kaj sucked on them, he felt Eddie pull them out of his mouth, and Eddie pushed them back into his ass again, "Fuck..." Kaj groaned breathlessly.

Eddie whispered, "Roll over.."

Eddie shifted and Kaj looked up at him as he moved onto his back - he watched as Eddie sucked on his fingers, and Kaj's cock it leaked - he went to touch himself and Eddie leaned in and grabbed his hands, "No...touching.." He murmured it against Kaj's mouth, and Kaj - he kissed Eddie hungrily.

The older man kissed him back, Eddie and Kaj fought for dominance - and Kaj felt pleased with himself, when Eddie let him control the kiss. He stroked his tongue, tasting and teasing Eddie's and Eddie let him. Kaj didn't know what the fuck he was doing, but he couldn't - didn't want to stop. Kissing Eddie was delicious, he tasted good - Kaj moaned in his throat, and Eddie? Eddie moaned into his mouth.

Eddie kissed him back, their tongues wet and Kaj didn't want it to stop.

Kaj slowed the kiss down, and Eddie stroked his fingers down his arms - letting them go. Kaj moaned in his throat, feeling Eddie move, the older man was taking off his own pants - they were both breathless from their kissing - and Kaj breathed out slightly heavier as their bare skin met completely. That fact that Eddie was now naked too, Kaj breathed out heavily - and he found himself tilting his head back, breath hitching.

Eddie leaned down - and he licked against Kaj's scar - while stroking his fingers against his sides, and Kaj slid his fingers into Eddie's hair - Kaj felt the shiver rock through his body as Eddie's tongue flicked over his nipple he sucked and bit down gently, but it sent heat straight to his cock - and Eddie murmured, "So sensitive.."

Kaj rasped out breathlessly, "Fuck.. you.." He tugged on Eddie's hair, and the older man murmured against his mouth, "Do you want too?"

Their eyes met and Kaj breathed out against Eddie's mouth, because he hadn't been expecting that. Kaj let out a soft, dirty moan - needy as they rocked their bodies together. Kaj moaned in this throat, breathing out against Eddie's mouth.

"Or do you want me to fuck you.." Eddie murmured, "Because... I'll do both.." He rocked his hips into Kaj's, Eddie's cock was hard - sticky precum against Kaj's skin - and Eddie pushed Kaj's legs apart with his, "I...can fuck you..." He licked into Kaj's mouth, and Kaj let out a soft, pained noise as Eddie pushed his cock into him. 

"Then... then you can...fuck me.." Eddie didn't look away as he pushed into Kaj all the way, and Kaj panted softly - because it fucking hurt, it hurt like hell - "Breathe... breathe and let me in, let me in Baby.." Tears burned in Kaj's eyes, and Eddie whispered, "Relax Kaj.." He stroked his fingers against his face, and Kaj's tears slid down his face.

Eddie stayed still, and he breathed out - "That's it, hmmm good boy... breathe and let Daddy in.." 

Kaj's eyes rolled into his head and gasped out, "Mmfuck Eddie.."

It was so fucked up, but Kaj - he liked it when Eddie called himself Daddy, he already knew that when Steve called him Daddy.

But Kaj liked it when Eddie told him he was a good Boy too.

I am so fucked up.

Kaj let out a soft, pained little grunt - and Eddie murmured - "Do you want Daddy to stop.. hmm?

"No... I... don't know..." Kaj whispered it and he gasped out - "F-fucking.. hurts.."

Eddie let out a deep, rumbling growl - and he rocked his hips, driving his cock just a little bit deeper - before staying still again, and making Kaj suddenly hold onto Eddie - digging his fingers into his back as he moaned softly, "Hurts.."

"I know.. I know. But you're my good Boy, aren't you Kaj, hmm.. it will only hurt.. for a little bit.. then your sweet pussy will like Daddy's cock.." Eddie whispered it and Kaj shivered - he whispered, "You're such a filthy fuck.." 

Eddie murmured, "Oh I know.. but you love it..'  

Then he kissed Kaj deeply, hungrily - and he was definitely the one controlling the kiss this time. Eddie's kiss was possessive, and deep - his tongue coaxing Kaj's.

Kaj moaned soft - dirty and breathless, "Fuck.. what.. are you doing to me..." 

Eddie murmured, "What you've wanted... for a while now.. hmm?" 

Kaj whispered, "No.. you're...crazy.." 

Eddie eased his cock out slowly - then he slammed it back in, hips driving Kaj's off the bed - and Kaj bit back his moan - keeping quiet, hiding how much he wanted to cry out. His body shook with it, he couldn't hide that - and Eddie murmured soft against his mouth, "You're a liar.."

Eddie was taking his time, and Kaj had his eyes closed - he was hurting, it burned - the stretch, the depth of Eddie's cock inside him. It was new and weird and Kaj didn't want to like it. But he did.

I definitely shouldn't call him Daddy, or want too. Jesus Christ.

"F-fuck.." He whispered it shakily, and Eddie murmured, "Look at me.." He didn't want too, Kaj didn't want to look at Eddie, who brushed his lips soft against Kaj's and Kaj growled out softly, "N-no.." 

Kaj curled his fingers into the bed, and Eddie curled his hands against Kaj's legs - stroking his fingers, and Kaj let out a soft, breathless grunt - and he couldn't help it - he kept doing it as Eddie started to move, started to rock his hips - he was doing it, almost torturously slow - like he wanted Kaj to feel everything he was doing. 

Kaj opened his eyes - Eddie was staring down at him - and Kaj let out a soft moan, as Eddie murmured - "Yeah.. yeah I.. got you to look at me.. hmm.."

Eddie just kept staring down at him, and Kaj couldn't look away - he moaned out huskily, "Uh.. fuck.. Eddie.." The older man moaned softly, "Yeah... hmm.. fuck you feel good.." Kaj curled his hand against his stomach - and he touched his cock, he curled his hand around himself and Eddie leaned down - murmuring against his mouth, "You wanna cum for Daddy.." 

Kaj whispered, "Fuck.. don't.. " 

Kaj felt Eddie lick into his mouth, and he kissed Eddie back - Eddie took Kaj's hands, pinning them above his head - and Kaj cried out, breathless as Eddie thrust his cock, deep into his body - pleasure so good, making Kaj feel like he was going to come apart, "I'm gonna make you cum on Daddy's cock, so.. pretty.. you're pretty aren't you.." Eddie whispered to him. 

Kaj moaned softly, "N-no.. stop it.." 

Eddie sucked on his bottom lip, "Tell me.. say it.." He rocked his hips, and whispered, "Tell.. me what you want.." He held himself still - making Kaj pant softly. He couldn't touch himself anymore - and Eddie's cock he wasn't moving - it was making him insane.

"Please..." Kaj moaned softly, and he writhed - arching his body, trying to get Eddie to move.

Eddie whispered against his mouth, "Please...what.."

Kaj grunted softly, "Please.. Daddy.." 

No don't call him that.

Eddie licked at his mouth, and murmured, "Please...Daddy... what.? Say it... " He slowly eased out - making them both moan.

Kaj was feeling desperate, he stared up at Eddie - and whispered, "Please... Eddie..." 

Eddie breathed out against his face - and he murmured, "That's not.. what you wanna call me.. is it? Hmm?" He slammed his cock into Kaj deeply making Kaj moan and then he eased out again - "I'm not going to give you what you want... until you ask me, tell me.." 

Kaj made that needy noise again, and he breathed out shakily as Eddie leaned in - breathing out against his face. Eddie licked against his mouth, and Kaj whispered - "Please..."

Eddie murmured, "Just tell m... and I'll give it to you.." He breathed out against Kaj's face - and then he whispered, "Just let go.. let go, I've got you.."

He made the noise again, and Kaj felt tears burning behind his eyes as he closed them. Eddie murmured softly, "Don't close your eyes, don't close them.."

Kaj's breath caught in his throat, and he shivered - Eddie whispered, "I'll give you whatever you want.."

"Daddy.. please.." Kaj whispered, and Eddie whispered back, "You're my good boy aren't you hmm? My good boy Kaj..." He stroked his fingers against Kaj's legs - then he gripped his hips and Kaj moaned softly, breathless, "Fuck me Daddy... I need you.."

I am your good Boy, fuck...

Eddie let out a dirty moan and breathed out heavily against his mouth, and Kaj let out a dirty grunt as Eddie slammed his cock deep into his body - he said against Kaj's mouth, "Such a good boy, hmm I need you too.."

They both moaned as Kaj clenched his body around Eddie's cock, they started to move together.

Kaj breathed out in a rush against Eddie's mouth, and he whispered - "Let my arms go Daddy.. so I can... hold you..." 

Eddie let his arms go, and Kaj let out a moan, he whimpered - he couldn't help it, couldn't stop it from escaping. 

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.... (Eddie could hear him saying it inside his head, Kaj forgot to block it out)

Kaj groaned out, "Fuck you feel so good."

Eddie said against his ear, "You wanna hold me Baby?"

Kaj held onto Eddie, and he made that needy noise again -

Eddie growled out against his ear, "Yeah.. fuck.. hold onto me.. Daddy's got you now.." 

It made him shiver, made him bury his face in against Eddie's throat - the older man rocked his hips, and then eased out again - Eddie's cock hitting into him again and Eddie said breathlessly, "My sweet boy, my good boy.. aren't you hmm? My good boy?"

Kaj moaned out, "Fuck.. fuck Daddy, please.. please.." 

Eddie licked down over Kaj's scar with his tongue - and Kaj let his eyes close - he arched his hips, and Eddie had his hands against them, holding them as he rocked into him. Kaj's cock was leaking obscenely against his stomach, and Eddie said huskily - "You're beautiful... fucking.. so beautiful.." He leaned in and breathed out against his face - Kaj had his eyes closed, and Eddie murmured - "Look at me..." 

Kaj let his eyes open, and Eddie gripped his cock - stroking him, teasing him - Kaj gasped out, "I'm gonna ...cum." 

Eddie murmured, "Good.. cum for me pretty Baby..." He slammed his cock into Kaj's body - making him see stars - and Kaj made that needy noise again - he came into Eddie's hand and over his belly - clenching around the older man's cock. 

Kaj watched as Eddie licked his cum from his fingers, and he then he stared down at him - he was swishing it around in his mouth, and then he leaned down, gripping Kaj's chin. Kaj opened his mouth - and moaned as Eddie spat into his mouth. It was filthy, and disgusting - and the hottest thing he'd ever experienced. 

"Swallow it.." Eddie said huskily, and Kaj swallowed it down - Eddie licked his lips, and then he scooped up more of Kaj's cum from his stomach - and Kaj watched Eddie rub it into his own skin. Like it was some kind of lotion, or perfume. He breathed out harshly, and Eddie murmured - "You're such a good boy.." His voice was like velvet - like a caress, and it made Kaj tremble. 

Eddie gripped his hips, and leaned in - "Do you want me to cum inside you? Or.. do you want me to cum all over you.." He said it all dirty - and Kaj breathed out shakily against Eddie's mouth, as Eddie thrust his hips, punching his cock into him and making him breathe out harsher.

"Answer me.. hmmm.." Eddie growled against his mouth, "I...can't hold on much longer.."

Kaj let out a dirty moan, whimper? As Eddie's eyes kind of rolled into his head - he grunted as he fucked into Kaj again harder.

"Inside.. inside me Daddy.." Kaj panted, and Eddie growled out - "Good... good Boy.. fucking.. fuck...fuck..." He started pounding his cock - hard, and deep into Kaj's body. 

Kaj just held on, he heard himself crying out - losing his breath, Eddie gripping onto him tight - over, and over and over. 

They were both grunting, and breathless - sweaty, it was animalistic and dirty, desperate. 

Kaj rocking his hips, and Eddie slamming his cock into him deep and hard - they both held onto each other in the dark, Kaj felt his vision white out as pleasure slammed into him like a freight train. Eddie making him cum on his cock, for the second time - all over himself. Kaj was crying out - the air being punched out of his lungs...

Eddie let out a startled cry - and Blue eyes, met Blue as Eddie's knot swelled and locked in.

"Fuck!" Eddie moaned against Kaj's mouth, his entire body shaking.

Kaj let out a pained whimper - not able to breathe, he felt like he had an entire fist up his ass - it was that big - the size visibly different, tears blurred his vision - and he whimpered tearflly, "No..no get it out...get it out.." 

Eddie said breathlessly, "I...c-can't...I.. can't we have to wait.." He cradled Kaj's face though, and said, "Breathe... its okay.."

They laid there in the dark, staring at each other, Eddie slowly getting his breath back - Kaj gasped out- "Fucking... hurts...I can't breathe properly." 

Eddie cradled Kaj's head between his hands, and murmured - "Just... look at me, and.. breathe slowly.. hmm?" He nuzzled Kaj's cheek, and whispered - "Slow... that's it Baby.."

Kaj breathed with Eddie, calming down - slowing his breathing, and he let out a soft noise as he felt Eddie's knot - felt him cumming inside him. "Eddie.." He whispered the older man's name and Eddie murmured, "It's okay... hush..."

Eddie rocked his hips, and Kaj moaned out softly - "..Why'd you... do.."

"I can't.. stop it.." He whispered against Kaj's mouth, before kissing him slowly - deeply and Kaj kissed him back, he whispered - "You... wanted.. this.."

Eddie murmured, "To knot you? I didn't.. plan it.."

Kaj growled softly, "No.. to..f-fuck me.."

They were both quiet, and then Eddie murmured - "I didn't plan it no.."

Kaj whispered, "You lied to me... about driving back with me..." 

"Yes... I did lie about that, you've... been .. I wanted to make sure you were okay.." Eddie said softly - and he whispered, "Keep an eye on you."

"You're always keeping an eye on me.. fucking creeper." Kaj muttered softly - he let out a soft breath, and whispered "I...why?"

Eddie whispered back, "Because I wanted to make sure you were... alright."

Kaj's eyes fluttered closed and he whispered shakily, "... I....I'm fine.."

"No... no you haven't been.." Eddie murmured softly, he whispered against Kaj's ear - "I... know you haven't, and you've been in pain..." He leaned down - kissing over Kaj's scar again.

Kaj let his eyes close, tears slid down his face - and he didn't know why he was crying. He didn't want to cry - he felt Eddie kissing over his scar, and he made a soft noise in his throat - the older man lifted his head, and Eddie murmured softly - "Is it just your scar... or is it more? More that's been bothering you.." 

He turned his head away and closed his eyes - Kaj didn't want to talk about it. About his cracks, about the things that he wanted to stay buried. 

And he didn't want to talk about them with Eddie. 

He wanted to stay angry with Eddie. 

Eddie who was knotted inside him. 

Kaj started to cry. 

He let out a strangled noise as Eddie shifted them, Kaj now laying against Eddie - the older man curled himself around him and held him close. Kaj couldn't go anywhere so he just laid there in the dark, trying to stop himself from crying, but it didn't really work. But Eddie - he slid his fingers into Kaj's hair, stroking - and he just stayed quiet. He didn't try to make Kaj talk - he just held him, and stroked his hair - and Kaj cried - he cried and couldn't stop. 

Kaj cried till he just laid there, breathing out in shaky exhales of breath - till the soft thud-thump of Eddie's heartbeat soothed his tears away. Then Kaj just laid there listening to that, his eyes getting heavy - and his fingers curled against the older man's chest, he slotted his fingers into the spaces between Eddie's ribs - and felt Eddie stroke his fingers down his back.

Eddie murmured softly, "You can always talk to me Kaj, I'll.. always listen, try... to help you.." His soft, lilting voice - it was so soothing - and Kaj felt himself relaxing more into Eddie's body - into his warmth, he felt Eddie's fingers dig into his ass a little, and Kaj breathed out slowly. He thought about Steve, and about what him and Eddie were doing right then - and Kaj felt guilty and twisted up with it. How'd this even end up happening? He felt a little bit sick. Knew later he'd feel a lot sick with it. 

He was so tired though. So tired.

"Just relax...hmm go to sleep Kaj.." Eddie murmured softly, and Kaj let out a heavy, shaky exhale. He knew he was going to fall asleep - with Eddie still knotted inside him, that made him fucking blush - he let out a soft breath, and Kaj felt Eddie grip his chin - their eyes met as Eddie murmured - "Don't be ashamed of crying, of.. needing to talk." 

Kaj let out a shaky exhale against Eddie's mouth as Eddie murmured, "I'm not done with you yet.." It made heat burst through his entire body, Eddie licked at his mouth - and then he kissed Kaj deeply, slowly - and Kaj had tears sliding down his face as Eddie kissed him. Kaj was almost too scared to kiss him back, but it was tender and yet possessive all at the same time. 

"Go to sleep little brother..." Eddie whispered it dirtily, Kaj knew he was saying it with a dirty tone to it. It made him shiver and Eddie sucked on his bottom lip, cradling him in close - and then Eddie leaned down and licked along his scar again, whispering against his ear - "Did you kill the piece of shit.. that did this too you?" Kaj whimpered softly, "No..."

"I would have... hmm.. I would have torn him apart... for leaving you all marked up like this..." Eddie whispered, and Kaj's entire body trembled - "Where is he... the one that did it.." Eddie rocked his hips slowly, his knot brushing up against Kaj's special place again, and he gasped out - "On...the way back..." His eyes rolled back as pleasure made his cock twitch back to life again. 

"Y-yeah?" Eddie whispered against his mouth, "So we haven't reached where he lives yet? What's his name..."

"Kennedy... he.. was a friend, of.. mine, not Steve's.. was in jail.." Kaj's words came out all stuttered, and Eddie murmured - "Was a friend... but he sliced you open? I'm going to slice him open... only... he won't come back from it... you want to help me.. hmm? I'll feed you his heart.." 

Kaj's eyes burned brighter as Eddie stared down at him, "Lay my kill at your feet... yes? Give you.. his heart, because he hurt you.." Eddie whispered it against his mouth, and Kaj nodded yes - his own heart was pounding in his chest, and Eddie whispered - "You're afraid... but you don't have to be... me and Stevie.. will show you how to be ... a killer.. hmm?"

Eddie licked at his mouth, and then started rocking his hips, fucking him again slowly - and Kaj moaned out shakily, "...You're...fucking crazy.." Eddie whispered - "You're telling me something you've already known for a long time... why?"

"Don't... know..." Kaj muttered shakily, gasping out as Eddie thrust his cock into that place again. 

"Your so sweet Spooky, hmm.. wanna cum on Daddy's cock again don't you.." Eddie murmured it against his mouth, and Kaj whimpered - gasping out, "Yes.. fuck.. yes Daddy..."

Eddie smirked as he whispered against his ear, "That's right... my sweet little brother.." 

Kaj's eyes rolled back into his head as Eddie pounded his cock into his body - moaning huskily, "Fuck your so tight, you are so fucking tight.... mine.." 

Eddie kissed him again, and Kaj kissed him back - he came again between their bodies, sticky and thick - coating their skin. 

"You're mine... aren't you Kaj.." Eddie whispered it against his mouth, and Kaj breathed out shakily - heavy against Eddie's mouth.

Eddie's knot was starting to come down, and the older man started to pull out - but Kaj whispered against his mouth - "Do you want me to be yours?" He tangled his fingers into Eddie's hair and curled his legs around Eddie's waist - which of course meant, he couldn't go anywhere.

"Yes..." Eddie murmured against his mouth, "I... want you to be mine." He curled his fingers into Kaj's hair - playing with it, his eyes closing and Kaj whispered - "You...do?" He was surprised by it - Kaj breathed out against Eddie's face, and the older man's eyes opened again - he said softly, "Yes... Kaj.. is that really so hard to believe?"

Kaj didn't know what to believe. Or what to think. He just nodded yes - and then he let go of Eddie. 

He expected Eddie to move away, to do something - like that. To pull out of his body - to not want to be touching him anymore. But Kaj was wrong. Eddie didn't do any of that, he shifted them to the other side of the bed, staying inside Kaj - he kept himself wrapped around him  too. Kaj felt heat in his cheeks, as Eddie murmured softly - "Should probably clean up, but... I .. don't want to move.." Kaj let out a soft exhale and Eddie said quietly, "Can... do that in the morning, hmm? You... need some sleep.."

Kaj didn't know, how he knew. But Eddie did know - that he hadn't been sleeping. 

You smell wrong.

Eddie had is entire body curled around him - Kaj was enveloped by him, and Eddie tugged the sheet up over them and then curled his fingers back into Kaj's hair. Kaj whispered - "You...want to stay like this?"

"Yes..." Was the reply he got, and Kaj felt Eddie hold him closer, he let his eyes close - and Eddie murmured softly, "That's it... hmm just close your eyes and go sleep little brother.." 

"Don't... c-call me that.." Kaj whispered, he felt the heat in his belly, curling deep. 

"Why not, its true... and... you like it.. hmm.. you like it you told Stevie.." Eddie's voice was all rumbly and soft - and Kaj did tell Steve that, but..

"Shut up Eddie." He muttered softly, and Eddie murmured softly - amusement in his voice, "Oh but now you feel dirty because its you? Liar.. liar.. little fluffy ass its on fire."

Kaj couldn't help the laugh that escaped, and Eddie chuckled against his ear. 

"Hmmm, you like it... and you like calling me Daddy.." Eddie whispered it this time, and he would have felt Kaj's entire body tremble with it - "My sweet baby, hmm such a good boy for Daddy.." Eddie whispered it against his ear, digging his fingers into his ass, before he lazily stroked his finger over his hole - and slicked it back inside him. 

Kaj let out a shaky breath, because they both could hear - and feel how wet he was from Eddie's cum. 

"I'll just.. push it back inside your pussy shall I?" Eddie whispered it, and Kaj growled out softly - "You're... so fucking filthy.." 

Eddie licked into his mouth, and Kaj kissed him back - the kissed was needy and possessive and Eddie whispered - "You love it... don't you.." He had his fingers inside Kaj again, and Kaj said softly, "Yes.. let.. me.. fuck.. stop.."

Eddie breathed out against his mouth, and stretched his fingers out - Kaj let out a shaky breath - the two of them just staring at each other, "Can you feel it ...coming back out.." Eddie murmured.

Kaj groaned out, "Stop it..." 

"Stop it? Stop it...from coming out?" Eddie buried his fingers to the hilt and Kaj panted against his mouth - grunting softly - "No...no.." 

Eddie was watching his face as he fucked him with his fingers, and Kaj stared back - "No?" Eddie whispered, and Kaj's eyes rolled back, he let out a desperate moan as Eddie buried his fingers deeper - "No?" He asked again, and Kaj was pushing down on them - moaning "No... no.. Daddy.." 

"Such a little slut, hmm fucking want it so bad - you've had one taste of my cock and now you can't get enough can you... want more? Hmm? Do you sweet Baby.. tell me.." Eddie asked.

Kaj whispered breathlessly, "Yeah... yeah I want it... I want it... Daddy fuck... fuck me.." He let out a shaky whimper as Eddie slid his fingers out and said softly, against his mouth - "You want me inside you again?" Kej nodded yes, breathing out shakily.

Eddie murmured - "Yeah?" He buried his cock inside slowly, and Kaj's eyes fluttered closed as he buried his face in against Eddie's neck - he whispered, "Oh...fuck.. I don't want you to stop."

"You want me inside you... all night?" Eddie murmured it softly, as he curled Kaj's legs up around him again - and Kaj moaned huskily - "Yeah.. uh.. please.."

"I'll do whatever you want, hmm.. pretty Spooky.." Eddie kissed Kaj again deeply, and Kaj moaned into his mouth, kissing him back.

"Eddie... Ed's..." Kaj moaned softly, they were getting lost in each other, addicted - swept up in the feeling of being together. Kaj let out another soft, deep moan as Eddie buried himself deep again - building a slow deep rhythm they worked together, and Eddie moaned softly, "You're mine? Aren't you..." 

Kaj moaned softly, "Yeah.. ja... you're mine too... mine and Stevie's..'

"You always... both belonged to me..." Eddie whispered it against Kaj's mouth, and tears welled up behind his eyes - Kaj gasped out softly, "..M-me too?" 

Eddie whispered against his ear this time, "Yes... you too..." 

Those tears slid down Kaj's face - and he held onto Eddie tightly, hiding his face - as the old man cradled him, in closer - rocking their bodies together as they made love again. Eddie murmured against his ear, "Both of you are mine... and I'm yours..' Kaj didn't want to cry, he hated crying - but he was, and Eddie whispered, "It's okay... I've got you now... mine now..." It just made him cry, more - Kaj tilted his head back, and Eddie kissed against his throat - they both came together at the same time, and Kaj's entire body was shaking with it.

Eddie slowly eased out of his body, and Kaj felt strange - he didn't like it, and that made him want to hide. He felt too exposed, too vulnerable. Kaj wanted to find someplace to hide but he couldn't do that - he wasn't a child. He wasn't supposed to be weak, the damn cracks.

The cracks were getting to big.

Eddie got up - and he disappeared into the bathroom - and Kaj felt like he couldn't breathe, he could feel the panic inside him kicking up a notch. 

But then Eddie was back, he had a warm wash cloth and he was cleaning Kaj's body - wiping him down, and he whispered - "Hush.. it's okay.." Kaj breathed out harshly, and Eddie cradled his face, "You... you've never had...someone inside you before have you my sweet Baby.."

Tears blurred his vision and Kaj couldn't stop shaking, he just stared at Eddie, who breathed out against his face and whispered, "You were perfect. So good.. my good Boy.." Heat flushed into his face, and Kaj whispered shakily, "Your.. g-good boy." Eddie murmured, "Yeah, my good boy.. so good.." He kissed Kaj softly, and Kaj whispered, "Want to be good.. for you.." Eddie stroked his face, and he murmured, "You are, you were such a good boy Kaj, hmm.. so good."

Kaj made a soft little noise, and Eddie whispered - "Do you want to go to sleep hmm?" He was stroking Kaj's face, soothing into his hair and Kaj whispered, "I... Ja.. sleep nu... now..." Eddie got up and threw the washcloth back in the bathroom and then he laid down and said softly, "Come lay down here.." Kaj breathed out softly, heat in his cheeks and Eddie said softly - "You want too, don't you.." He nodded and then curled into Eddie, he buried his face in against his throat - into the warmth and Eddie murmured, "Yeah... yeah you want me to hold you closer, don't you."

"Yes.." Kaj murmured, and Eddie did - wrapping himself around Kaj and pulling the blanket up again. Eddie was stroking his hair - lazily, and he whispered - "You're hair is beautiful.. hmm was even when you were little...but.. its so beautiful, soft.. you've never cut it have you."

Kaj wasn't sure how Eddie knew that, he murmured - "Ja.. never cut it.." Eddie gently gripped his chin - and it was Kaj who kissed him - deep and slow, tongues slick and wet and warm as they moved together. "Stevie... do you think.. he'll be.." Kaj started to speak, but then he didn't finish. 

"He'll be pleased.." Eddie murmured - "Stevie wants us... to like each other, have you not realized that yet Kaj? Hmmm?"

Kaj whispered, "Liking each other, and fucking isn't the same thing.."

Eddie murmured against his mouth, "So you think Stevie will be angry that I've fucked you?" He brushed his fingers against Kaj's cheek - "Really?"

Kaj's breath came out all shaky against Eddie's mouth and he whispered - "I don't know...."

"You're worried about nothing, if that is what you're worried about..." Eddie murmured, sucking on Kaj's bottom lip. "Go to sleep now...Hmm?" He kissed Kaj softly - "You... need to sleep, I need to sleep... so We can go home.. to our Stevie.." He nuzzled his nose against Kaj's and whispered, "You need to sleep.." Kaj whispered, "I... don't know how.." Eddie rumbled a soft little growl - and Kaj's eyes fluttered closed, "...That's cheating." He muttered and Eddie let out a soft laugh, "I'll cheat if it means you get sleepy..." 

Kaj snuggled in closer, his eyelids heavy - and Eddie murmured, "You're not hurting now hmm? Just close those beautiful eyes - relax into me.. Daddy's got you, my beautiful little Spooky.." Kaj shivered, his breath coming out soft, he whispered - "...Not hurting, it... you.. made it stop hurting..." Eddie whispered, "Good... hmm.." He kissed Kaj softly, the younger man's mouth open just a little, he watched as Kaj fell asleep in his arms.

Eddie brushed his fingers over Kaj's face and whispered - "No more pain.. sleep now.. I will take care of you. I've got you now. My Baby boy."

Chapter Text

Kaj woke up feeling confused as to where the hell he was, why there was a warmth pressed into him - that definitely didn't feel familiar. Then he remembered. Oh hell no. He breathed out slowly, feeling the tight, fluttering in his stomach.

Kaj didn't know what to do with the thoughts in his head - the awkwardness. The shame. He definitely felt guilt and embarrassment. I called him fucking Daddy, oh Jesus Christ. Kaj got out of the bed and then went into the bathroom, he locked the door and took a shower. 

Kaj really didn't want to think about what they'd done, what Eddie had done to him. He just didn't want too. "Oh fuck.." He whispered to himself before dunking his head under the water, his face was probably like a tomato, he could feel the heat in his face. As he showered he could hear noise from the room next door - so he knew that Eddie was now awake as well. Kaj rest his head against the wall and closed his eyes tightly. 

"Goddamn it.." He whispered to himself, "Why did you.. you should have put a stop to it." Bit late for that now though. Hindsight was a fine thing - Kaj snorted softly, and rubbed his hands over his face. He climbed out of the shower and then dried himself off, getting dressed into his clothes - and then he walked into the other room. Avoiding eye contact with Eddie, who was getting dressed - "Morning." The older man said, to which Kaj just grunted a reply. 

Because he couldn't say anything, he didn't even want to look at Eddie - not till he'd had a fucking good look at himself and - fuck he was an idiot. 

Eddie was quiet, but then he shifted a little closer to Kaj - "Hungry? We should eat something before we.. get back on the road." The older man's voice was still a little rough from sleep - and Kaj wasn't hungry, he didn't feel like eating, that actually felt like the last thing he really wanted to do. He breathed out softly, and then muttered - "Yeah sure.. I guess." His own voice was quiet.

"Kaj?" Eddie said, and it made him lift his head - "Ja?" He asked - he wished he hadn't, because Eddie was staring right at him.

Shit.

"Are you alright?' Eddie asked, as he moved in closer - and Kaj? Kaj backed himself up, tense - he muttered, "Yes? I'm fine.." He wound up with his back against the wall, Eddie murmured - "So.. why are you acting like I'm going to hurt you, are you freaking out?"

Kaj shook his head, "No? I'm fine.." But of course he wasn't, he didn't feel fine at all. Eddie just looked at him, and Kaj looked away - he breathed out in a rush and then muttered, "I.. don't want to.. last night was.. whatever that was? It was a mistake and I.. don't want to talk about it." He muttered it, and Eddie backed up - Kaj breathed out through his nose, and watched Eddie from behind his hair. He didn't know what he was expecting? An argument? Some kind of pushback from Eddie?

What he didn't expect was the reaction he got. Quiet, and calm - 

"Alright then. If.. that's what you want." Eddie's voice was so quiet, that if it hadn't been for his Wolf hearing? Kaj probably wouldn't have heard it. The older man just turned around - packed up what stuff he'd brought into the room the night before and then he walked out the room without saying anything else. Kaj let his eyes close, not sure what he was feeling. 

Relief? Pissed off? Sad? Too much - Did he want Eddie to give him some kind of pushback?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Get a grip.

He got nothing but quiet agreement. Why did it sting? Shut the hell up you loser.

~***~

They gone back to the Diner, Eddie had ordered some granola and yoghurt concoction while Kaj had ordered hash and bacon and eggs. He'd scoffed it down - and then it sat in his stomach, making him feel sick.

Or that could have just been the guilt and the shame for having been begging the night before like some shameless whore for Eddie's cock in his ass. Kaj was driving this time - it was a good distraction. He kept his eyes on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly - in the passenger seat beside him?

Eddie was staring out the window, sunglasses on - not saying a word. But at least he didn't appear to be eyeballing him for once. 

Kaj stop after about two hours solid driving - he had too, because he was in pain again. He went and took a piss, had a cigarette - grabbed a couple of soda's - and Eddie had disappeared around the corner somewhere - to do something at an antique shop? Kaj had no clue - antiques didn't interest him in the slightest.

Eddie was a snooty, boring fuck. Kaj had no interest in what boring shit he wanted to look at like that. He sat in the truck and smoked, listening to the mixed tape he'd made for Steve all those years ago - he had his eyes closed, moving his head to the music - enjoying Kashmir, when Eddie said against his ear suddenly - "My turn to drive.."

Kaj nearly shit himself. 

"Jesus Christ!" He growled out, breathing out harshly against Eddie's face - the older man let out a soft little chuckle, and Kaj just stared at him - Eddie licked his lips and then he held up a paper bag, "Food." Kaj could smell it, and whatever it was? It smell really good.

He nodded and Eddie leaned in closer again, "Sorry Baby, didn't mean to scare you." His voice was all soft and rumbling - and it did something weird, to Kaj's stomach - he couldn't even answer, he called me Baby. 

"It.. It's fine.." He said it quietly, before he shifted and moved into the passenger seat - without actually getting out of the truck. Eddie had a small little smirk, but he climbed in and then he handed the bag to Kaj, "Hmm.. nice music choice.." Eddie added on, and Kaj said - "You like Led Zepplin?"

"Sure.. I like them.." Eddie was watching him, but then he put his sunglasses back on and Kaj said, "Oh.." He opened the bag, and inside was a tray - so he opened that up too and Kaj let out a soft groan, "Damn.. how'd you even find this.." It was lemon chicken and rice, one of Kaj's favorites. How did he even know? 

Eddie laughed softly, "Chinese place, they all have it hmm.. plus Steven said it was your favorite."

"Yeah it is.. everyone always likes black bean or whatever - I mean its good, but..." Kaj muttered, but then he started tucking in - shoving it in his mouth. "It's delicious.." He said through a mouthful of food - and Eddie laughed softly, "Good.. I'm glad you think so." 

Kaj stuffed his face, making happy noises - and then he said - "...Wanna try?" He figured that Eddie would probably say no, but the older man said quietly - "Sure.." Kaj grabbed a sporkful, and then held it out and Eddie ate it, "It's good right?" Kaj mumbled, then he growled out - "So fucking good, who doesn't love lemon? Anything lemon.. lemon chicken, lemon cookies... lemon.. cake.. lemon curd.." 

Eddie finished chewing, and then after he swallowed he said "So.. you really love lemon then.." 

Kaj grinned, "Oh definitely, its delicious.." He licked his spork and then stabbed another piece of chicken - only he didn't get to eat it, because Eddie ate it instead - "Yeah, its delicious.." Kaj breathed out softly and murmured, "Yeah.. yeah it is." Eddie said, "How's the shoulder.." 

"It.. uh.. it's okay." He nodded, and then ate some more of the rice - Eddie reached out suddenly, and pushed Kaj's hair out of his face - "You didn't braid your hair today, is it because you're hurting again?" Eddie took the spork, and then he scooped some of the rice through the lemony sauce - and he fed it to Kaj. He nodded yes, and Eddie said quietly, "Hmm so you lied to me then, didn't you.. saying it wasn't hurting you.. You lied to Daddy.."

Kaj just swallowed, watching Eddie eat a mouthful - watching him lick his lips - "You're a naughty Boy for lying to me.. hmm?" That soft lilting voice made Kaj's cock ache and he said softly, "Y-yes.."

Eddie said, "Yes who?" His voice teasing.

Kaj muttered, "Yes D-Daddy."

Goddamn fucker.

Eddie smirked, and Kaj breathed out slowly - "Hmmm eat your food, and then I'll give you something for the pain. Sweet Baby.." His voice was softer, a little deeper and Kaj took the food back from him.

"Don't want you to be suffering the entire time." Eddie murmured as he opened his bag up and pulled out another brown paper bag, it smelt good too - "What.. what's that?" He muttered softly.

"Dessert." Eddie said with a little chuckle. 

"You didn't get yourself anything.." Kaj stared down at his lemon chicken - and Eddie said softly "Oh I already ate it.." 

Kaj wasn't entirely sure he believed him - but he finished off his food, and then Eddie reached into his bag, pulling out a small little plastic bag of pills. "Just one.." He shifted closer - also holding a bottle of soda, he whispered - "Open your mouth." Kaj opened his mouth, and Eddie put the pill on his tongue. 

Why am I letting him do this? Goddamn it just tell him to fuck off. 

"Here.." Eddie gave him the soda and Kaj swallowed the pill down. He murmured, "What... is it? What did you give me.. and how did you get it?" Eddie gently gripped his chin, and Kaj breathed out slowly - "I got it from a friend, its Oxy.. don't worry about it.." 

Kaj muttered softly, "You.. got it from a friend? How do you even know anyone out here.." His eyes closed as Eddie stroked his fingers against his face - "I just.. do, same way as you know people, I know people... Kennedy.. he lives in Corinth.. right?" He asked and Kaj breathed out sharply.

Eddie smirked, "The asshole... who did this to you.." He stroked his fingers over Kaj's scar, under his shirt - and Kaj whispered - "Yeah... Corinth but.. Ed's.."

"Hush sweet Baby.." Eddie murmured it against his mouth, "You're gonna go for a little sleep soon hmm? Daddy's gonna take care of you.. don't worry.." Kaj breathed out slowly - and Eddie stroked his face, "I phoned home, Stevie's not doing so good... he checked out.. but I talked to him, Lyrena held the phone up to his ear."

No stop touching me like that. Kaj felt himself shiver a little - and he muttered, "Is.. fuck is he.. okay?" Kaj felt a painful twist in his belly.

Eddie murmured - "He'll be okay, I told him that we'd be back home soon.. he's safe with Lyrena and Mischa.. I wanna make a little stop first." 

Kaj breathed out sharply, "We should just go home Eddie.. he, he needs.." 

Eddie brushed his lips soft against Kaj's, "Don't freak out, okay? Stevie is fine Kaj, you should just close your eyes and rest.." He felt Eddie stroking his skin, his fingers against his scar - "I'm gonna take care of you.."

No shit, don't let him do this to you.

Kaj muttered softly, "I feel fine, doesn't hurt Eddie." Kaj leaned into Eddie's touch as the older man whispered - "Good Baby, just lay here and close your eyes.." He stroked his fingers through Kaj's hair and Kaj mumbled, "Yeah... just close them for a little bit." 

Why do I like it when he calls me that, goddamn creeper.

The drug kicked in so fast, the food warm in his belly - Kaj was out like a light.

~***~

Eddie hummed softly, he glanced over at Kaj - the younger man was asleep. He looked peaceful - although probably not that comfortable cramped up in the passenger seat. Eddie wasn't just worried about Kaj now - after he'd phoned home? After hearing that Steve was essentially having an episode.

It sounded like he'd become locked in a memory and regressed - and he wasn't coming out of it. He wasn't sure what had triggered it, or why.. But he was worried about that as well. He had tried to talk to Steve on the phone, but of course he hadn't really gotten a reply from Steve.

Kaj didn't need to know that though - Kaj needed to get some rest. Some sleep. 

Eddie ran his fingers through his hair, and let out a soft exhale. The events that had transpired the night before? He was surprised that they had - Kaj had avoided the subject entirely and Eddie wasn't surprised by it, he hadn't pushed - hadn't crowded Kaj. Simply because he knew that it wouldn't have gotten him anywhere, Kaj was for all intents and purposes much like Steve - you had to approach Kaj even more carefully in some ways - Eddie had to be extra careful. 

He wanted to be careful? But last night... he'd pushed and gotten what he'd wanted, and it had surprised him. 

Eddie pulled into Corinth, it was only a small town - it shouldn't be that hard to find Kennedy Wahlbern he was after all a lowlife piece of shit - admittedly not someone that Eddie associated himself with? But still - he knew how to find people.

He pulled into one of the motels, and got a room - he got Kaj settled fairly easily, the woman at the front desk eyeing him suspiciously, but Eddie fed her some bullshit story about his "friend" having had a little too much to drink and needing to sleep it off. 

Then he locked the room behind him and went out, he made an appearance at the local diner and sat there for a while - making nice with one of the waitresses. Who was only to happy to tell him that this Kennedy asshole frequented the local bar after he finished work.

So after a few cups of coffee and a slice of apple pie (which he also brought for Kaj). He went back to the motel room and rested for a bit before setting off to the bar. 

Eddie had changed into some more suitable clothing and sat in the corner. 

Kennedy was everything he'd expected, hell - maybe he was worse. He brought him a few beers - and listened to his stories, and was surprised to find out that it wasn't just Kaj that this piece of shit was formerly friends with.

No - turned out he knew Steven as well, only... Kennedy Wahlbern was afraid of Steve, he seemed quite anxious about the fact that Steve was a cop. Eddie just smirked to himself and then said, "Oh no he's not in Virginia anymore... you don't have to worry about him being a problem.. I took care of that."

Kennedy let out a laugh, feeling more sure of himself - "Really? Are you planning on taking over Kaj's territory, I'm surprised he's still alive after what I did.." He gave off a scent of fear - and Eddie said, "Oh so you planned on killing him then?"

Eddie was playing it cool, keeping his temper in check - when all he really wanted to do was reach over and rip his throat out. "Well yeah, I mean I slit him open.. you know.. I saw him a few weeks ago, but.. he didn't look that great, he was high - had to use a lot of junk to kill the pain he was in."

Eddie was watching him through a plume of cigarette smoke, "Really, that's interesting - territory?" He asked - the other man nodded, "Yeah I mean.. Kaj's territory he deals.. drugs, and.. shit." Eddie raised an eyebrow, "I didn't realize that.. what else does he do."

The other man narrowed his eyes, "Are you a fucking cop? You're a cop right? You're too..." He made a face and Eddie snorted, "Do I look like a fucking cop?" He spat out, "I'm not a fucking cop, I hate cops... I just killed one.. a few weeks ago."

Kennedy just stared at him, "Bullshit you killed a cop.." 

Eddie leaned in closer, "Oh I've killed lots of people - plenty.. you heard about the Cross murders?" Kennedy let out a soft laugh, "Yeah that whack job that strung the cop up in the field over in Woodville? Must have been a right headcase.." Eddie smirked - "No not really, I was bored.. wanted to prove a point..."

The younger man just stared at him. 

"What point?" Kennedy downed a shot of Whiskey, and Eddie smirked.

"That God isn't listening." Eddie murmured quietly - the other man just stared at him - the fear in his scent stronger. "Bullshit that you did that - I don't believe you." He muttered - laughing again. 

Eddie shrugged, "I don't care if you believe me or not.. wanna get out of here and go to a real party? This place is boring as shit - I have some candy back at my motel room." He said - and Kennedy licked his lips, "Yeah? Yeah I could be down for that - I have nothing else to do, was just going home to my bitch of a girlfriend anyway.."

"Then lets go.." Eddie threw some cash down to pay for their drinks and Kennedy stood up - "Great, do you know Kaj?" He asked.

Eddie just stared at the other man, "Yeah you could say that..." He smirked - "He's a little bitch."

Kennedy laughed, "Yeah he is - I should have finished the job when I saw him - ...fucking talking shit - I don't care if his boyfriend is a cop now.. fucker."

"His boyfriend?" Eddie asked and Kennedy nodded - "Yeah man... fucking Black... Stevie Black - pretty sure those two are a couple of faggots and have been for years - boning each other, I don't buy that they're brothers, don't look anything alike.."

Eddie stayed quiet, but once they had almost arrived at the motel - he looked at Kennedy - "Funny that right? You'd think siblings would look more alike - although.. Kaj looks more like his Mother." 

"What? Do you know his Mother?" Kennedy said with a laugh, looking at Eddie - "Yes actually, Kaj looks like his Mother - same height and build.. his mother was a male you see."

Kennedy just stared at him, and scoffed - "His mother was a male? The fuck are you talking about - Males can't have babies." He tried to open the door - and Eddie smirked, "Well they can if they're not Human."

"What?" The fear in his scent got stronger and Eddie said quietly, "Yeah - Human males can't give birth."

Kennedy realized that he was locked in and couldn't get out - Eddie let out a soft, dark chuckle - "You're wasting your time with the door."

"Fuck you! Let me the fuck out!" The other man yelled it, and Eddie just smirked and then he smacked his arm into Kennedy's throat - winding him as he said - "Sorry I can't do that." 

Kennedy was gasping for air, and Eddie leaned in - gripping his throat as he let his eyes turn ice-blue. 

"Who told you about lacing your blade with Monksfoot?" He said it quietly, and Kennedy gasped out - "Nobody fucking told me."

"Someone did, you're not a Wolf - you didn't know he was born to two males.. so who fucking told you to do that?" Eddie gripped his throat tighter - and Kennedy gasped out - "I... this guy I met.."

Eddie tied Kennedy's hands with rope, so tight that the other man let out a pained noise. Then he said - "You're going to tell me everything I want to know, or this will be even more painful than you can imagine." His voice calm and almost soothing. 

Kennedy whispered, "Please, please don't kill me." 

Eddie said, "You're wasting your time, pleading with me isn't going to save you. You should have killed my little brother.. not left the job unfinished."

Kennedy's eyes widened and he said, "Kaj is your little brother?"

Eddie smiled, "Yes... and so is Steven."

Kennedy's eyes got real big - even bigger if it was possible. "Stevie Black is your brother too? Jesus Christ.." 

Eddie let out a laugh, "You were worried about Stevie's retribution? Hmm.. You would have been lucky for Steven's, mine?" He said softly, leaning in closer - "You're going to wish I hadn't found you."

Kennedy started screaming, and Eddie just stared at him while he did it - then he sighed softly, "Why must you scream like that, making a noise.." He pulled a syringe out from his pocket and pulled the lid off - and then he stabbed him in the throat with it.

"Shut the hell up for fuck sake." He muttered, Kennedy's screams going silent. 

Eddie pulled up around the back of the motel, and then he hummed as he put the other man into the boot - along with the box, and his medical bag. Then he went into the motel and brushed his fingers against Kaj's hair. "Come on sleepy head." He said softly, scooping Kaj up - he put him in the backseat. 

Eddie had shifted some stuff around, making room for Kaj in the back - and the stuff they'd packed from their move was either in the trunk - or in the trailer he'd rented to attach to the back. Eddie climbed back in and headed for home. He planned on torturing Kennedy Wahlbern for the information he wanted once he got back to the compound.

Because he was a Human, and someone had told him about the Monksfoot. Had Kaj not thought about that? If Kennedy didn't know about Males getting pregnant then he didn't know about their kind obviously. Eddie sighed softly, looking at Kaj still sleeping in the back.

He not only had to worry about Steven, but also about Kaj - and about whatever outside threat they had to deal with. Clearly it was a lot more complicated than Kaj had even thought.

Was that what had been plaguing him?

Eddie intended on finding out.

And what had sent Steven spiralling into his regression?

Eddie put his foot down and sped up - the sooner he got them back to the Mountain, the better. 

Chapter Text

Kaj woke up, and they were back up the mountain - he had slept the rest of the way and hadn't woken up? It was strange to him. But at the same time Kaj woke up feeling better. Like he'd needed the sleep, he pulled himself out of bed and took a shower. Got Lyrena to help him braid his hair, and then he'd gone with her up to the compound. Eddie was MIA - but everyone was back, he saw Misha - who took hold of his hands and led him into the living room in her house, where Steve? Was still hiding out inside of a cupboard. He'd been in there for two days, and had refused to come out. Nobody could get him out. 

He opened the cupboard and breathed out softly, Steve's new wolf eyes were something to get used too. Pale milk white, the pearl-opal like color was beautiful. They had a rainbow like color to them and Kaj murmured softly, "Wolfie.." Steve's nostrils flared out and then he whimpered softly, "Kaj.." He immediately scooted himself out of the cupboard, Lyrena and Misha both looking relieved and Kaj scooped him into his arms, Steve nuzzled his face in against his neck - still clutching a dirty, bedraggled looking stuffed Rabbit.

"It's okay, I've got you." Kaj said softly, Steve curled his legs around his waist - his entire body was trembling - he was hiding his face, not looking at anyone. He said softly, "Where am I?" Kaj said softly, "Home Baby, you're at home.." Steve sobbed and whispered, "No.. no I'm not.. I'm confused." He had such a small voice, tiny - and Kaj said softly, "It's okay lille ulv, we'll go someplace just the two of us ja?" He looked at Misha and Lyrena, "It's okay now.." He said softly, and Misha said - "Use the same cabin as before if you want, its empty.." He nodded and then said quietly, "Where is Eddie?"

Misha said softly, "He dropped you off at Lyrena's last night - dropped some things off here, and looked in on Stevie.. but then he left."

"He didn't stay with him?" Kaj said annoyed - and Misha nodded, clearly upset by that as well. Kaj muttered, "Asshole." He shook his head, and then muttered - "Whatever.. we don't need him, dipshit.." 

Steve said tearfully, "Kaj.... Kaj!" He peeked out from his hiding place at everyone else briefly, and then said shakily - "I don't wanna go with h-him."

Kaj carried Steve to the cabin they'd stayed in last time, shutting the door behind them. He said softly, "Go with who Wolfie?" Steve breathed out softly, "Daddy, I don't wanna go with Daddy - he's gonna take me away, he told me... told me..." He hiccupped softly, his tears were wet against his face, and Kaj gently laid Steve against the bed. "Stay here.." He said softly.

Kaj closed up the curtains and blinds, making it darker - and then he lit the fire, Steve watching him the entire time - big eyes and tears. Kaj moved closer, and then he said softly - "Stevie? How old are you Baby.."

"I'm three." Steve said softly. Kaj just breathed out slowly, "You're three?"

Steve sucked on his thumb, and then clutched the filthy rabbit - Kaj said, "Who's this?" Steve didn't wanna let it go - "Mr. Snuffles." Kaj said, "Is he yours?"

"He used to be Eddie's, gave him to me." Steve said with more hiccups, and then he said tearfully "I don't wanna go."

Kaj said softly, "You're not going anywhere Baby... Daddy isn't taking you." Kaj knew though, that Bobby had taken Steve and Elena away. He stroked Steve's hair and Steve said tearfully, "Wanna stay with you and Dee."  Had he been there too? Kaj rubbed his cheek, "We can stay here Baby, its okay.. how old am I?" 

Steve said softly, "Four!"

Kaj gently stroked Steve's hair and he said, "Did you see Eddie?"  Steve rubbed his eyes, and then he said - "I don't know.." He just looked confused, and Kaj whispered - "It's okay Baby, I want you to lay down for me okay? Your cold, and sleepy hmm?" Steve nodded, and he whispered shakily - "I.. missed you, missed you don't go.. don't g-go.." He just looked terrified, and Kaj said softly, "I'm not leaving Stevie.." 

Steve's eyes started closing, and Kaj lifted his head as Misha came into the room - his eyes were full of tears and Steve had fallen asleep again. She took the bunny, "I'll clean it." He nodded and said softly, "He thinks he's three years old, and I'm four..." Misha whispered, "Poor little lamb.."

"He said he didn't want his Daddy to take him, meaning Bobby... something made him afraid, did you talk to the girl he was with?" Kaj asked.

"She said they found an abandoned house... in the woods, I... don't know anything about it Kaj it isn't something I know anything about - you.. need to talk to Eddie. I'm sorry Baby I wish I could help, it must be something that happened when I wasn't here, I can ask Lyrena.. maybe she knows." Mischa said softly and Kaj nodded. 

"Are you alright Kaj?" Mischa asked him and he looked up at her.

"Yeah." He nodded, and stroked his fingers through Steve's hair - she stepped closer, and then cradled Kaj's face - "You were exhausted when Eddie brought you back, you haven't been getting enough sleep have you?" Mischa's voice was soft, and Kaj said hoarsely - "I'm.. f-fine." He was tense, his body uncomfortable, and Mischa said softly - "Kaj.. please know Baby that you don't have to carry the weight on your shoulders alone." 

He stared up at her and he whispered, "I.. have to be strong, its all I know how to do.."

"Oh Baby.." Mischa said softly. 

Kaj rest his head against her, tears sliding down his face silently - and she stroked her fingers into his hair - "You have me, you have all of us... It doesn't have to be a burden you carry whatever is on your shoulders.. let it go.." She said softly and they both looked up as Eddie walked into the room. He said, "River told me you'd brought Steven here.." Eddie was being shifty - and Mischa said annoyed, "Where the hell have you been? Do you not give a damn about Stevie? Did you even check on him?"

"Yes Mischa I did!" Eddie said to her, "He wouldn't come out of the cupboard for me either.. He only wanted Kaj, and Kaj was sleeping.. so shut your face!" He snapped, and Kaj growled low in his throat - "Don't speak to her like that..." His voice rough, tears still on his face - Eddie looked at Kaj, and then he said softly - "Sorry.."

It wasn't just Kaj that was surprised by Eddie saying sorry, Mischa was too. They both just stared at Eddie - who lowered his gaze and then he said, "I was.. uh getting something organized.." He was still being shifty - Mischa snorted, "Okay Captain Shifty.." She stroked her fingers through Kaj's hair, "My sweet Baby, ignore him.. captain Shifty.." 

Kaj smiled at her and she said, "Should curl up with Stevie and have a nap.." 

He muttered softly, "Don't think I'd sleep.." 

Eddie moved in closer, and he pushed Mischa's hands away from Kaj - "I'll take care of both of them." Mischa just looked at Eddie - "....Will you now."

Kaj tensed up and he growled at Eddie, "Don't... try that bullshit with me again.." He was going all red, and Mischa said - "What's this?"

Mischa was amused, a twinkle in her eye as Kaj scooted closer to her and then growled at Eddie - "Get away from me man." 

"Fine.." Eddie muttered quietly, not happy - and then he moved closer to Steve. He looked at the rabbit - "Where the hell did you find that?" Eddie's eyes were fixated on it - and Kaj said, "Steve found it... when he was helping a girl... they stumbled across an abandoned house in the woods.. its.. what we think made him regress."

Both Kaj and Mischa, saw how pale Eddie went - how his eyes went kind of dark and shadowed - and then Eddie ripped the rabbit out of Mischa's hands and he put it back with Steve. "Obviously he wants it." Eddie said shakily, and Kaj looked up at Mischa.

They both watched as Eddie suddenly curled himself around Steve and then just laid there, staring into space - tears sliding down his face.

"Eddie.." Kaj said his name softly, but the older man said nothing. 

"Edward.." Mischa touched her brother's arm and Eddie let his eyes close. "Don't.." Eddie's voice was almost emotionless. "Don't touch me."

Mischa took hold of Kaj's hand and she kissed it, and then she mouthed, "I'll ask River if he remembers anything." 

Kaj nodded - and Eddie breathed out harshly. "Eddie.." He whispered, and he flinched as Eddie suddenly held his hand and said hoarsely, "They tried to take you both."

"What are you talking about?" Kaj said quietly, Eddie was actually shaking - Mischa had gone, and now it was just the three of them. He reached out, and gently stroked Eddie's face - "Who tried to take us?"

Eddie just stared into space, and Kaj shifted closer - "Eddie.." He whispered, closer breathing out against the older man's face, and Eddie blinked - "I took you, both of you.. hid you with me in my Mom's house, it was her house.. she'd stay there, doing her magic... but.. nobody but me knew it was there.."

Kaj murmured softly, "You.. took us? Me and Stevie?"

Eddie nodded and he whispered shakily, "Had to keep you both safe." Steve snuggled into Eddie, and he let out a soft breath. 

"Safe from who Eddie?" Kaj said softly, and Eddie whispered tearfully - "From our parents.." 

Kaj murmured, "They.. were going to take us away."

Eddie looked at Kaj, just stared at him - his eyes haunted, and Kaj whispered "They did take us away." Eddie just nodded yes, breathing out harshly - like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs - and Kaj felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He shifted and then pulled Eddie into his arms - and that was when Eddie just broke down, harsh broken sobs - and Kaj was actually a little frightened by it - because it was the kind of crying, that he was scared of doing himself.

Kaj just held him, and Eddie clung to Kaj - he curled his fingers into Eddie's hair and didn't let go. The older man cried like he was broken. Eddie was breathing all wrong, his scent smelt weird too - and Kaj was once again reminded of Eddie saying it to him. You smell wrong.

Eddie dug his fingers into Kaj's body, and he went from tense - to lax against him. Steve let out a soft little noise, staring at them both and he was looking at them both - Kaj stared down at Steve, who said shakily, "What... what happened?" He looked confused, but Kaj knew that Steve was himself, not baby Steve. "It's okay.." Kaj said softly, and Steve shifted - he said softly, "Eddie?" Eddie was trying to stop crying, trying not to let Steve see him so upset - but Steve pressed his body into Eddie from behind and he said softly, "Eddie..." His fingers curled against Kaj's arms though, and he scented Eddie, nuzzling his neck, and Eddie calmed - he breathed out slower.

Steve let his eyes close, and Kaj nuzzled his face against both of them. Steve stared down at the dirty stuffed Rabbit - and then back at Kaj - Kaj stroked his fingers into Steve's hair and Eddie shifted, he curled his fingers against Steve's face, "Are you alright my sweet Boy?" His voice was a little rough, and Steve nodded yes - he kissed Eddie softly and whispered - "I missed you both so much, I.. don't know what happened? I've.. I think I blacked out again.. I didn't think that would happen anymore.. I'm sorry."

Eddie cradled Steve's face, "You don't have to apologize, I think you were frightened because we weren't here - you... found that.. in the woods didn't you Stevie." Eddie murmured it softly, and Steve nodded yes - tears in his eyes - "I had... a memory.. I don't.." He just breathed out shakily - staring at the both of them, but then at Eddie.

Kaj said softly, "I think for now ...it would be a good idea if we all maybe got some air, took a breather..." 

Steve looked at Kaj, his eyes were their beautiful chocolate brown - he said softly - "You were comforting Eddie.." He shifted and nuzzled Kaj's face, "Why were you crying Eddie.." He gently pulled Eddie in closer too, and Kaj was very aware that he did it - Eddie breathed out softly and he murmured - "It's silly.. I don't know.." He lowered his gaze and Kaj murmured, "We've.. been finding out some things.. haven't we Ed's.." 

Eddie looked at Kaj, and Steve let out a soft little noise - he whispered, "I'm all dirty... and gross.. What the hell have I been doing?" 

Kaj let out a soft laugh, "Hiding out in a cupboard Wolfie, all dirty from the woods." Steve let out a soft little huff - and he whispered against Eddie's mouth - "You're shaking.." Eddie just seemed quiet, maybe too quiet, and he had his eyes closed - Kaj said softly, "Tired.. he's been nonstop hasn't slept have you Ed's." Steve was watching the two of them, and Eddie just nodded yes and murmured, "Spooky's right.. haven't slept.. got stuff.. done." He let out a heavy sigh, and Steve said softly - "You're calling each other the nice names.."

He looked very happy about that and Kaj said softly, "Can't keep calling him fuckface."

Eddie was the one that laughed this time and Steve let out a soft little huffy laugh, he said softly - "Did you miss me?" Eddie murmured softly, "Always.."

Kaj said softly, "What he said.." But he kissed Steve softly, and Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat - Kaj murmured, "I'm going to go and do some things okay.. take a bath maybe? Help him.. maybe have a sleep? Get some sleep Eddie."

Eddie looked at Kaj, the two of them staring at each other - and Steve looked between the two of them. He looked from under his lashes and then he said softly, "Are you going to come back Kaj?"

Kaj looked at Steve, and then he cupped his face, "Yes my sweet little Wolfie, I'll be back soon.." He stroked his fingers against Steve's face - brushing his thumb over his bottom lip. "I love you.."

Steve whispered, "I love you, love you so much." Kaj smiled against his mouth and kissed him softly. 

Kaj looked at Eddie, and then he got up and left them alone. Steve let out a soft little exhale, and he whispered - "Eddie..." He shifted closer, and Eddie pulled Steve into his arms, murmuring, "My sweet boy, my darling... my precious." He held Steve closer and Steve whispered, "Why are you so sad my Shadow, my Dee..." 

Eddie whispered, "I can't ever lose you Steven."

Steve cradled Eddie's face and he whispered, "You're really scared right now... what happened?"

They stared at each other, and Eddie said softly - "Just bad memories... memories that broke me." Steve whispered, "It's connected to that house."

Eddie nodded yes, and he cradled Steve's face in his hands - the two of them staring at each other again. 

"You... when you said you were broken because you lost me, when you went feral .. when it broke you... you didn't just mean me did you Eddie." Steve said softly. 

Eddie lowered his gaze and he whispered, "I can't talk about it right now, please.."

"Will you tell me though? What it means.." Steve said softly, and Eddie lifted his gaze - "Yes I will.. I just.. it hurts too much right now.." He nuzzled his face against Steve's throat and whispered, "You.. know."

Steve whispered, "Yes, I do.. I know Eddie.. it was losing him too."

Eddie nodded yes, and Steve whispered - "I'm going to run us both a bath.. okay? I'm going to take care of you.." He stroked his fingers into Eddie's hair and whispered, "Then we can curl up here together and you can go to sleep while I hold you?" Eddie murmured softly, "Sounds perfect."

Steve slid out of his lap and then he said softly, "Everything went okay? With the move?"

"Everything went perfectly my sweet boy, hmmm later you can go see your fur children." Eddie said softly, teasing and Steve let out a soft laugh, he said softly, "Eddie?"

Eddie looked at him, "Yes my darling?"

Steve said softly, "I love you." He stroked his fingers against Eddie's cheek - "I love you so much, and I'm glad your home.." He curled his arms around himself and Eddie let out a soft rumbling growl, "I love you too my sweet beautiful boy." Steve gave him a smile, one that lit up his face and Eddie said softly, "You mean everything to me Steven." Steve just stared at him - and then he said softly, "You mean everything to me to Eddie.." 

They just stared at each other again, and then Steve whispered - "Your scaring me a little Eddie.." Eddie moved closer and he whispered, "Why are you scared?" 

Steve whispered, "Scared you're going to leave me, or something stupid - or I'm going to lose you..." Tears slid down his face again and he whispered, "I ...don't think i could bare it... losing you or Kaj."

"You don't ever have to worry about that ever again... do you hear me?" Eddie said his voice rough, "I'm not going to leave you, and neither is Kaj - you're never going to lose either of us, and I'm not going to lose... either of you." He breathed out against Steve's mouth, "I'm not letting anyone take you from me.." 

Steve shivered, and he whispered - "Never again.." Eddie whispered, "That's right Sweetheart, never... you don't have to worry... I promise.." He kissed Steve deep and slow, stroking his tongue into Steve's mouth, and Steve trembled - pressing closer and whimpering soft in his throat. They kissed till they were both breathless, and Eddie whispered - "You go run us a bath, I'm going to remake the bed.." Steve whispered breathlessly, "Okay..." 

They stayed as they were for a little while longer, and then Eddie murmured - "I'm never leaving you. We shouldn't have left you here alone... should have taken you with us.." He licked against Steve's throat and whispered, "Our sweet Baby.." Steve shivered, and he whispered - "You're not mad about sharing me with Kaj anymore." It wasn't a question, and Eddie murmured - "No...not anymore." Steve was shivering and he let out a soft little gasp as Eddie grazed his fangs against Steve's throat. "Oh.. oh.. Dee.." 

Eddie let out a soft little rumble, and Steve whispered, "Okay.. bath.." He reluctantly pulled himself away and went into the bathroom, but they could still see each other, Steve looking over his shoulder at Eddie - and Eddie let out another deeper, rumbling and Steve bit softly on his lip - Eddie's eyes burned blue and Steve added some bath stuff to the water. Eddie stripped the bed off - and changed the sheets, the two of them kept staring at each other though, and Steve stripped his clothes off and then climbed into the tub. Eddie put the dirty stuffed Mr. Snuffles on the chair - and then he stripped off too. 

Steve stared up at him, and then he spread his legs and Eddie climbed in and sat between Steve's legs - he let out a soft exhale, and Steve curled himself around him. 

Eddie let out a soft little rumble, as Steve started washing his hair - "Let me love on you my sweet Darlin'." Steve said softly, his voice all lazy and soft - molasses and honey. And Eddie said softly, "Yes please.. hmm magic.." 

Steve laughed softly, soaping up Eddie's hair and lazily working his fingers against his scalp "Lay back hmm.." Eddie did and Steve washed the shampoo out, and then Eddie laid back against him as Steve washed him slowly - lazily with his fingers all soapy. Eddie let his eyes close, and Steve whispered against his ear, "Eddie?"

"Yes my sweet Boy?" Eddie murmured softly, feeling relaxed and he breathed out softly. He let out a sweet moan as Steve stroked his fingers lazily, and Steve drawled softly, "Why...do you have Kaj's scent all over you?"

Eddie curled his fingers against Steve's legs, stroking his fingers against them - and Steve whispered against his ear, "He doesn't have yours... because he washed yours off...didn't he..."

"Yes..." Eddie murmured, and Steve stroked his fingers down against Eddie's stomach, digging his fingers in a little and making Eddie breathe out heavier. "It...doesn't bother you..." Eddie said huskily.

Steve licked against Eddie's throat and he whispered, "No... course it doesn't bother me...I love his scent all over you, I'm.. just a little surprised, did you... fuck him Daddy?" Steve nipped against his throat.

Eddie let out a soft rumbling growl, turning his head - he growled against Steve's mouth, "Yes - he freaked out though."

"Don't worry about that.." Steve whispered, and he smirked against Eddie's mouth - "It won't last..." 

They stared at each other, and Eddie murmured - "You're... not upset about it are you?"

Steve cradled Eddie's face, "No.... Why would I be? I love you both, no Eddie.." He whispered, "I am not upset... Not even a little bit.." Eddie breathed out soft against Steve's mouth, and he whispered, "I don't think it'll happen again Stevie.." 

"...You don't think so?" Steve whispered, as he licked into Eddie's mouth. 

Eddie let out a moan, and said breathlessly, "I...don't think so.." He panted softly as Steve started jerking him off, "Don't be so sure about that Daddy.." Steve growled it soft against his mouth, and Eddie moaned dirty against his mouth, "Fuck that feels good.."

Steve whispered breathily, "Cum for me..." He teased his thumb over the tip of his cock, and then stroked him faster, and Eddie groaned huskily, "Fuck.. Stevie.."

They kissed again, a little awkward at the angle they were at and Eddie moaned against Steve's mouth as he gripped the sides of the tub - "Cum for me Daddy.." Steve whispered, and Eddie's eyes closed as he came, Steve whispered "That's it ...oh.. you're so beautiful.. love watching your face.." Eddie panted softly, and he moaned - "Made a mess.." He had cum all over his stomach and Steve stroked his fingers through it and then sucked his fingers into his mouth. 

"Dirty little boy.." Eddie growled softly, and Steve did it again and moaned softly, "Love the way you taste." Eddie shifted in the tub, moving Steve into his lap instead - and Steve stared down at him, "We're going to get water every where." Eddie smirked, "Who cares.." They both laughed softly, and then Steve kissed him deep and slowly, Eddie stroked his fingers down Steve's back and then he murmured, "Let's get out hmm?"

Steve whispered, "Okay.." but then he just breathed out against Eddie's face - and Eddie murmured, "Are you feeling better?" Steve whispered - "Yes.." Eddie murmured, "What do you know about Kennedy Wahlbern." He saw Steve's face instantly shift - a shadow and then he snarled, "If I ever see that piece of shit, I'll rip his insides out." He breathed out in a rush, and Eddie could feel the way Steve's entire body was vibrating with rage. "So.. if I told you I had him shackled up in the barn.. that would make you happy?" Eddie whispered it against Steve's mouth.

Steve's eyes turned opal, the rainbow color burning intensely and he growled out breathlessly - "That piece of shit nearly killed Kaj... yes... I'd be happy." He just stared at Eddie, and he whispered - "You've got him here.." It wasn't a question, Eddie lifted them both up out of the bath, and Steve wrapped his body around Eddie's - Eddie pulled the plug out - and then he grabbed a towel, wrapping it around them.

"Yes.. my sweet Boy, I have him here. But... I didn't realize when Kaj told me he attacked him that he was a Human.. who told Kennedy about covering a blade with Monksfoot." Eddie murmured as he carried Steve back into the bedroom. 

Steve breathed out sharply, and he curled his fingers against Eddie's chest - "Did you ask him?" He stared at Eddie, who murmured - "He said some guy, he wouldn't tell me. I intend to find out... because someone told him, ... someone told him how to kill Kaj." 

Eddie murmured, "He could have killed him. So.. why would someone tell a human - how to do that unless they were going after Kaj, and knew he was a Wolf. Because Kennedy obviously didn't know that about you or Kaj... I'm not sure he did even when he used the monksfoot on the knife."

Steve and Eddie both got dried off and Steve's voice was husky, "Kennedy is a dumb piece of shit... a shit stain cracker head asshole." Eddie smirked, and Steve growled - "What's so funny? Hmm?" 

Eddie murmured, "You getting all feisty and vicious.. I love it too much." 

"He's a piece of shit.. and.. I should have broke his neck when I had the chance... I would have, if I'd known he was going to do what he did.." Steve's voice was grit, the molasses drawl heavier and he breathed out harsher, as Eddie pulled him back into his lap - "What... did you and Kaj get up too.. before you joined the BAU, were you.. doing the same kind of.. things as him?" Eddie was genuinely curious. 

"...We used to ride around together on his bike.. he was a big time drug dealer." Steve murmured, and Eddie smirked - "And you? What were you doing.."

Steve said quietly, "I.. fucked people up, ... I killed some of them.." He looked at Eddie from under his lashes, "...We did a lot of stuff together, most of it was crime and violence - burglary.. we broke into a country club and smashed it up.. fuck the rich you know?" He murmured, "Fucken la-de-dah bullshit.." 

Eddie said huskily, "So... you didn't like rich people?"

"No... not one bit.. people throwing dinner parties and shit like that.." Steve whispered against Eddie's mouth with a smirk, "... Kinda assholes we fucked up."

Eddie laughed and Steve grinned, "Mhmm... nobody fucked with either of us.." 

"So I'm my baby brothers are both criminals?" Eddie murmured. 

"Mhmm.. and your youngest baby brother is a psycho killer..." Steve whispered. 

Eddie murmured, "Well your oldest brother is a psycho killer too... so... we have that in common.." 

They stared at each other quietly, and Steve whispered, "Kaj's never killed anyone before.. he's.. not like us Eddie.. he's not a monster.."

Eddie murmured, "You don't think he wants to be?"

Steve shivered, hiding his face - and he whispered, "I...don't know Eddie.." He felt Eddie stroke his face - and Eddie murmured, "You don't have anything to feel bad about Stevie.."

They kissed hungrily and Eddie laid Steve down against the bed, pulling the sheet up over them - and Steve whispered, "I... want it, want it so much Eddie... the chaos.. to taste it... god so much.. you know how much I want it..." 

Eddie growled softly, "I know... I know you do and I'll give you everything... my beautiful little monster.." He stroked his fingers against Steve's legs - pulling them up around his waist and Steve moaned out softly, "I... want you inside me.." Eddie murmured against his mouth, "Are you wet for me?" He pushed his fingers into Steve's pussy, making Steve moan - and he was wet and slick, "Fuck yes, hmm my sweet boy.. so wet for me.." He stretched his fingers out and Steve trembled, whimpering softly - "Put your cock in me Daddy... please.. please Eddie.."

Eddie slid his fingers out again and held them to Steve's mouth, Steve sucked them into his mouth - moaning around them as Eddie pushed his cock into him slowly - and they held onto each other as Eddie pushed all the way in, "Oh.. fuck.. yes.." Steve whispered it, breathlessly.

They rocked together, Steve arching his body - and he moaned against Eddie's mouth - "Need you so bad.. Eddie.." 

Eddie moaned against his mouth, "Yeah? Missed me did you?" 

"Yes.. yes I missed you Dee, my shadow.." Steve gasped out softly - he whimpered against Eddie's throat - digging his fingers into Eddie's ass and they both moaned - Eddie sped up his thrusts and Steve tilted his head back, baring his throat for Eddie - who licked against it, and then bit down. They were lost in each other, clinging and moaning - getting sweaty and lost in their pleasure. They were in the middle of it when Kaj came back into the cabin - he shut the door, and just found himself standing their watching them. 

Steve panted softly, and he saw Kaj - watching him as Eddie fucked into him deeper, harder - making Steve moan out louder. He curled his fingers against Eddie's back and whimpered softly, "Kaj..." 

Eddie let out  deep rumbling growl, and Steve gasped out breathlessly - curling his hand against the bed, and he moaned, "Kaj... come..." 

Kaj breathed out slowly, his nostrils flaring at the smell of them both. He kept his eyes on Steve - who moaned soft and breathless, "Kaj...uh.. oh Eddie.." 

His eyes rolled into his head as Eddie hit into him deeper, and Steve moaned out - "More.. more...fuck.." Kaj breathed out in a rush and Eddie said huskily, "Come over here.. Kaj.."

Kaj shifted closer, and he pulled his shirt off - and Steve moaned softly, "Kaj..." 

Eddie kissed Steve hungrily, leaving him breathless and then he looked at Kaj, who was staring at Steve - but then he looked at Eddie. Steve whimpered, "Take your pants off too.." 

"Yeah... okay.." Kaj murmured, and he took them off as well - he moved onto the bed, and Steve kissed him, pulling him in close and he whispered, "Kiss Eddie.."

Eddie licked against Steve's throat, but then he curled his hand against Kaj's neck - their faces all close, and Kaj breathed out against Steve's mouth - the two of them staring at each other, and then Eddie licked against Kaj's mouth, and Steve let out a soft little breathy, "Yeah.. yeah kiss him.." 

Kaj let out a soft noise, and then let Eddie in - the two of them kissing hungrily. Steve had curled his fingers into both Kaj, and Eddie's hair and he moaned as Eddie rocked into him harder. And then Kaj pulled back, breathing out heavily. 

Eddie murmured against Steve's mouth, "That what you wanted Sweet boy?" Steve whispered, "So fucking pretty.." He kissed Kaj again, hungry and Eddie smirked - he eased out of Steve, who whimpered against Kaj's mouth, and Eddie shifted - he lifted Steve into Kaj's lap, and Kaj growled into Steve's mouth as they kissed, Kaj rolled Steve onto his back, and then he used his legs to spread Steve's - thrusting into him and Steve cried out - his head back as he did.

"Fuck.." Eddie growled out softly, watching as Kaj fucked into Steve hard - deep, making Steve cry out again - and Eddie stroked his cock, and then he waited, till Kaj was buried back inside Steve - then he shifted moving in behind Kaj, he buried himself inside Kaj after spitting into his hand and slicking himself up. 

Kaj let out a husky, deep moan - "Jesus...fuck.." Eddie growled against Kaj's ear - "You...get double the pleasure sweet Baby.." Steve moaned softly, "Oh...fuck that's so hot...you're getting fucked, while I am..'

Eddie smirked and kissed against Kaj's shoulder, he slammed his hips and Steve moaned loud, Kaj gasped out - "Oh...fuck.."

"It's like I get to fuck both of you at the same time.." Eddie said dirtily.

Kaj, pushed back against him, then pushed into Steve - the two of them working together, and all three of them built their rhythm - Eddie felt Steve's fingers brushing against his skin too - and Eddie moaned softly, Kaj reached back, holding Eddie's hip - and he groaned out "Fuck...so good.." Eddie and Steve stared at each other and Steve moaned breathily, "So good... hmm perfect..." he kissed Kaj's throat and stared up at Eddie. 

Eddie murmured huskily, "My sweet babies, hmmm all mine." He stared back at Steve - and Kaj clenched tight around Eddie's cock - Eddie knew that Kaj was cumming inside Steve - he could see the bliss wash over Steve's face, they were both cumming, and Eddie rocked his hips, cumming inside Kaj. They all shifted, Steve laying between them, curled up between them both - Kaj stroked his fingers down Steve's side - but he brushed his fingers against Eddie's, and Eddie moved his so they were interlaced with Kaj's.

Kaj didn't pull his hand away, Steve said softly - "This is good, the three of us together." Eddie murmured, "Yeah it is.." Kaj kissed Steve's back and he whispered, "You're okay with..." Steve shifted, and laid facing Kaj, and Eddie curled in flush against Steve, "Yes Kaj.." Kaj shifted in flush too and Steve whispered, "We.. are all meant to be together." Kaj murmured, "Eddie just.. I don't know if I..." Steve whispered, "You don't...what? Like him fucking you?" Kaj had his eyes closed, and he whispered, "I.. don't know." 

Eddie kissed Steve's shoulder and Steve whispered, "It's okay if you do Kaj, you love being inside me.. nothing is going to change that.. doesn't mean that you can't.. have that too." Kaj breathed out against Steve's face, and he whispered - "..I..yeah.." Eddie murmured, "Do you not want it?" Kaj's eyes opened and he just stared at Eddie, the two of them staring at other - Steve brushed his fingers against Kaj's mouth, "I love you.." He whispered, and Kaj looked at Steve again, "I love you too.." 

"Eddie brought Kennedy here.. we're going to kill him." Steve whispered it against Kaj's mouth, and Eddie smirked into Steve's hair - Kaj let out a rumbling growl, his voice husky - "What?" He lifted his head, looking at Eddie, breathing out heavily and Steve stared up at him, "We're going to kill him for what he did to you." Steve stroked his fingers against Kaj's scar - and Kaj stared down at him, he was trembling and Steve whispered, "Nobody gets to hurt you like this... nearly kill you? Take you from me, from... us?" Steve had tears in his eyes and he growled out, "No... no Kaj... he doesn't get away with that.." 

Kaj breathed out heavily, and then he was kissing Steve hungrily - Steve slid his fingers into Kaj's hair - and then Kaj pulled back slowly, but he looked at Eddie - and Steve watched, Kaj was shy, a little bit hesitant, but then he kissed Eddie - and Eddie curled his fingers against Kaj's face, and he deepened it, kissing Kaj slowly - he murmured against his mouth, "Stevie is right.. nobody gets to do this to you.." Kaj just whispered, "You're both crazy."

Steve let out a soft laugh, and he whispered - "You should talk Spooky." Kaj leaned down and kissed Steve softly, murmuring - "My sweet little kookoo Wolfie." Steve cradled Kaj in close and Eddie stroked his fingers into Kaj's hair, the three of them laying their quietly together. Kaj stroked his fingers against Steve's belly, and Eddie said softly, "Kaj... I asked Stevie the same thing - Kennedy is a human, how'd he know how to lace the knife he used on you with Monksfoot, I asked him he said someone told him to do it." 

Kaj licked his lips and he murmured - "...He's a fucking asshole, running his mouth off - but yeah I always wondered about it, but didn't find out who he got that information off - and when I.. I mean it took me along time to figure it out and I didn't. I also didn't see Stevie ... so I kept it that way, I didn't want him around if someone was trying to take me out." Both Steve and Eddie were looking at him and Kaj said quietly, "It... isn't the only time."

Steve said, "What? What are you talking about Kaj?" He gripped Kaj's chin - and Kaj shifted laying on the bed on his back beside them both. "Stevie when you moved out of the cockroach apartment.. Remember I was living in that shitty motel?" Steve nodded - "Yeah.. you wouldn't stay with me.." Steve's voice was soft and Kaj had his arm over his face. 

"Yeah.. because I didn't want..."  Kaj breathed out heavily, "Someone's been after me for a while, and they left monksfoot on my pillow in my motel room." 

Eddie growled out - "What?" He reached out and gripped Kaj's chin - Kaj breathed out slowly, "It.. It's happened a lot.. through out the years on and off.. I just move and go somewhere else.." Both Steve and Eddie watched as Kaj sat up and he had his back to them, his body tense - "I when I didn't see you for the last ten months.."

"You didn't worry about it because you were trying to keep me hidden from whoever was after you.." Steve said shakily, and Kaj's body got more tense. 

"I... love you Steve, I've always loved you." Kaj's voice was hoarse and he whispered - "Before I ever told you, ... I told you that the day in the meadow."

Eddie said quietly, "But you.. you've been dealing with this shit for how long?"

"It doesn't matter Eddie.." Kaj said hoarsely - "They don't know where I am right now... For.. now its okay..." 

Steve said shakily, "For now? What are you trying to say Kaj?" 

Eddie closed his eyes, because he knew what Kaj was trying to say - even if Steve didn't want to admit it. 

"I'm saying that at some point if it puts you, and everyone else in danger I can't stay here Stevie." Kaj said quietly. "I won't do that - especially now." 

"No!" Steve shifted closer to Kaj and he whispered tearfully, "You.. c-can't do that - you can't leave.. you can't f-fucking leave me you promised." 

Kaj just rest his head in his hands and he stayed quiet. Steve hit him and said with a sob - "You can't say that Kaj!" 

Eddie breathed out softly, and Steve rest his head against Kaj's back and whispered tearfully - "You can't leave... you can't leave Kaj.."

 Steve kissed Kaj's back and whimpered, "No... no, no..."

 Kaj murmured, "I won't let anyone hurt you or our pups Steve."

Eddie was determined that he was going to make sure Kaj didn't have to leave, watching Steve - he was never going to let him be heartbroken, never lose Kaj either.

Chapter Text

Steve was anxious, he held Eddie's and Kaj's hands tightly, he wasn't sure he wanted to go back - back to the House in the woods, but Eddie wanted them to all go back there - and so weirdly they were all walking there on foot. Not in their fur - which would have been much faster, but they were taking their time. Steve felt apprehensive, and he kept looking furtively at Kaj - who wasn't really saying much at all and hadn't done ever since it had come out about the fact that someone had been after him. Someone had been trying to hurt him - to kill him. 

Eddie held his hand tightly, stroking his thumb - trying to soothe him? But nothing was really soothing him. Not really - Steve was trying to be brave, but he didn't feel it. Not even a little bit - it had shaken him to the core and he didn't like it - Steve kept thinking.

If we hadn't found out, would Kaj have just disappeared?

That terrified him even more. Tears kept threatening to fall - and nothing was going to take that fear away. Steve felt extra clingy and he didn't like that much either. They eventually got to the house, and Steve just kind of froze, Eddie said softly - "It's okay Stevie, come." He watched as Kaj went inside - and Steve shook his head no, but Eddie gently gripped his chin and whispered against his mouth, "It's okay, it.. nothing bad happened here I promise you Stevie." 

Steve stared up at Eddie and he whispered - "I don't believe you Eddie, I don't believe that.." Tears slid down his face and Steve just knelt down, curling his arms around himself and then he picked at the grass. But Eddie suddenly just scooped him up - "No!" Steve started screaming, "NO! I DON'T WANT TOO!" He hit and bit at Eddie, and Eddie just ignored him and carried him inside anyway - "Hush now Stevie, my sweet boy." Kaj was sitting on the bed, which was a bit rickety - he said - "Eddie... don't force him." 

Eddie murmured, "Don't worry Kaj, he'll be fine." He planted Steve on the bed between him and Eddie - and Steve slapped Eddie, who just ignored him - like Steve hadn't slapped him, and Kaj murmured - "Wolfie.. lille ulv, hush nu.. kom nu.. here.." He bit Eddie and slapped him again, and then sobbed softly - choosing to curl up in Kaj's lap instead, whimpering tearfully and then he gave Eddie a kick for good measure.

Eddie just completely ignored his melt-down and stroked his hair anyway - and Kaj murmured softly into his hair, "Shush.. it's okay." Steve bit against his collarbone and said tearfully, "You lie to me.. gonna leave, gonna leave me.." He hated them both - both of them were liars. "You're both gonna leave me." He whispered shakily and then he moved away from Kaj too and went and sat by himself. Steve just stared into space and then he started tidying up. 

Kaj rest his head in his hands, and Eddie said softly - "I stole both of you, in the middle of the night and brought you here. I knew... knew that they were going to take you away. Mama, she knew they were going too as well so she helped me, helped me hide you both here with me." He breathed out slowly - trying to stay calm. "I was thirteen, and... Stevie you were three, Kaj you were four.. they thought I'd taken you for a milkshake.. only I stole Stevie too. I.. had you both here for three weeks."

Steve wiped his face, and he was muttering to himself - doing his soft little clicks, clearly distressed and not happy at all. 

"You.. that didn't work did it." Kaj said softly - watching Steve as he wiped dust off the window sills with an old piece of rag - "Stevie.. what are you doing Baby?" Kaj asked softly, and Steve said tearfully - "Cleaning shush your face.. you don't care, you're leaving me anyway.." His eyes were white, and he let out a soft snarl. Eddie said softly - "Kaj isn't leaving Stevie." Kaj looked at Eddie, and then he looked at Steve again. 

"You're a liar too." Steve growled at Eddie - "Both of you. Sick of your bullshit." He hissed it at them, and said tearfully - "Fucking liars." He was now re-hanging a curtain. "Gotta get this place tidy, mhmm.. yep." He was muttering to himself again and then he hiccupped, "Oh.. gas.." He muttered, and Eddie glanced at Kaj and then he leaned in and whispered, "I think he's talking to Bean and Peanut." Kaj looked at Eddie and they both smiled at each other. 

"It'll be fine, you'll see.. Mama will fix it." Steve said quietly, "Probably could do with the roof fixin.. maybe Uncle Nate, we'll go ask him later. I'll ask him." He hiccupped again and then glared at Eddie and Kaj, Eddie held his hand out, "Come sit sweet boy?" Steve shook his head no and then he whispered, "I don't want too.. I have to clean, leave me alone. You're just going to go off and leave me again - and you.." He looked at Kaj, "You didn't even.. t-tell me.. I'm.. I'm just stupid." He stepped out the back door and then he said, "Oh.. a garden." Steve was totally ignoring the two of them.

Kaj murmured softly, "What happened after the three weeks?"

"They took you both, you and Katija and Niklaus went to Denmark... and Bobby and Elena took Steve and went to Missing Mile." Eddie said softly, "But.. Kaj they I always thought it was because of me. Because of... how.." He breathed out heavily, and Kaj said - "Because of you? I don't..." He stared at Eddie, heat in his face - "...You had feelings for Steve when he was that little?" 

Eddie whispered, "I couldn't help it, and I did nothing - I never touched either of you." 

"...What? It.. " Kaj said - "It wasn't just Steve." It wasn't a question, and he muttered softly - "I.. you thought they left because of that, but.. now you don't think so?"

"I think they left to hide not just you and Steve, but to separate all three of us - because of who we are, because of the claws.." Eddie said softly, they could both see Steve - who was now sitting outside in the little garden, he was rubbing his belly and laying on the grass? "What the hell is he doing.." Eddie muttered, he stood up and then tugged Kaj outside with him - Outside? The garden was almost in complete pristine condition - like it had never been touched, and Steve was laying on a bunch of cushions soothed by all the flowers.

"Lay down, here.." He patted the cushions and was sucking on his bottom lip. Eddie and Kaj both sat down - and Steve wriggled closer - laying across them both and then he said softly, "You're not leaving, we've decided." He informed them both, "Mhmm.. my sweet honey boys.. nuh-uh.." He looked a little out of it, and Kaj laughed softly "What is wrong with you sweet little Wolfie.." All the sweet smell of the flowers clung heavy in the air around them and Eddie said softly, "Mama loved it out here..."

Kaj said, "It is really nice out here.." As the three of them sat there - the house seemed to shimmer, and Kaj said softly - "Are you seeing that Ed's? Or am I hallucinating.." 

"No I can see it too." Eddie murmured - and Steve's claw was shimmering softly, glowing around his neck - then he said, "Okay Mama Evie.." 

Eddie just stared at him - and then the walls of the house started to ripple and shimmer - and then the entire house looked brand new. "Now its perfect." Steve said softly, "Perfect for the Pups." 

Kaj said - "How did that even happen?" He stood up and then went back inside, standing in the doorway - looking at them both, "It's... not a wreck anymore." He knelt down beside Steve who pulled Kaj down and said, "She had it hidden with magic, she just told me.. was standing right next to Eddie.." He yawned a little, stretching and looking like a lazy pup. Kaj stroked his face - and then Steve looked at Eddie, "I'm sorry I was mean to you.." His eyes welled up and Eddie murmured, "It's okay my grumpy little Mama." 

Steve hiccupped again, clearly frustrated by it and Eddie said softly - "Come sit here.." He patted his lap - and Kaj thought he just meant Steve - who shifted into Eddie's lap, but then Eddie tugged Kaj in too. 

"I'm too big for your lap you fool." Kaj mumbled softly, and Steve let out a soft little giggle - "Nope, just the right fit."

Eddie smirked, "I agree, perfect fit." He nuzzled them both and Kaj sighed softly - "This.. whole cuddling me.. thing.. I.. can't really deal with it."

"Too bad." Steve huffed out, answering for Eddie - who laughed and Steve snuggled into Eddie - "I.. had a vision about this place - when I dream walked, when I was with Vinnie.."

"I was scared when you were both gone.. when I blacked out.." He whispered it and Steve said softly, "But.. I need to be here to have the pups - her magic will keep us safe."

Steve looked at Eddie, "I know you think that she was crazy, but... she loved you Eddie." 

He nodded and said softly, "I know she did." Eddie nuzzled his face in Steve's hair and he breathed in his sweet scent. Steve said suddenly, "Hey! Cuddles stopped the hiccups of doom!"

Kaj laughed softly, and Steve sighed - "Sick of the hiccups.. ugh.." He pouted and then he looked at them both. "Nuh-uh.." He laid down against the cushions and just went quiet, and Kaj laid down beside him - the two of them curling up and then Kaj said softly, "Stevie.. I always just wanted to protect you, never tried to lie to you... I swear." Tears slid down his face, and Steve whispered - "I know, I just... promise me you won't just disappear, promise?"

He nodded, and whispered - "I promise Wolfie, I won't just disappear." 

Eddie murmured - "Should we head back... maybe go and visit the barn?" Steve's eyes lit up burning brighter - and Kaj curled his arms around Steve, but he looked at Eddie - he gently kissed Steve, and then he whispered to Kaj - "...Yeah?"

Kaj nodded yes, and Eddie gently stroked his face - "Did...you really feel that way about me as well?" Kaj asked suddenly, between them - Steve was stroking his fingers against both of them, and letting out a soft little purr-like rumble. "Yes.." Eddie said softly, "When you were at Steve's - I hadn't seen you for twenty-one years Kaj.. I..." Kaj looked at him, and then he kissed him softly - "I'm just trying to deal with how I feel.. its a lot." He stared down at Steve, "What you doing sweet little purring wolf." 

Eddie let out a soft laugh, and Steve said softly - "You both smell good, all sweet for each other - I like it, makes me happy." He snuggled them both and then he added - "Makes the pups happy too," He whispered, "I can... feel Bean, moving.." Both Eddie and Kaj reached out, their fingers touching as they touched Steve's belly at the same time and Steve placed his hands over theirs - moving it to the right spot. And there was a gentle, soft movement - "It's Bean." Steve whispered - "It's...really Bean.." He got very quiet, and then Steve's scent got super heavy with happiness and all the good stuff, he let out a soft little rumbly purr growl and then snuggled in closer. 

Kaj and Eddie both had tears in their eyes and Steve said softly, "Sweet little Bean, you gotta take care of Peanut." He said - "Now I know why I had gas.." He didn't look upset by it anymore, he just had his eyes closed, looking contented. "Dr. Ambrose said that Peanut might be born a little early - possibly because of Bean. Beans gonna start showing soon." Eddie murmured, "I think maybe Bean already is.." Both Kaj and Eddie could see the tiniest bump. Steve whispered - "Really?" He stared down at his tummy - but he couldn't see it. "Dr. Ambrose said at five months, I'll have Been - four weeks after, Peanut - but that I might have Peanut early, so.. hafta be .. you know.. that might be a thing. She said I'll know what to do." 

Steve had his eyes closed again and Kaj kissed Steve's temple, breathing in his scent and he whispered - "I love you so much." Steve nuzzled Kaj's face and whispered, "Love you too sweet Spooky."

"We will make sure you have everything you need." Eddie said softly, he laid down with them both and Kaj said - "I still think its bullshit we cant be with you.." 

Eddie smirked, "You don't wanna be with a Mama and her pups - they can turn feral... Or so everyone says." 

"I don't think Stevie would be feral." Kaj said softly, "Not our sweet lille ulv."

Between them Steve said softly, "I'm scared to be alone." 

Eddie said softly, "We will be outside, if you want that.. but we can't be in there with you... its a sacred thing Stevie.. no mother has ever been with anyone while she or he has their pups. Even outside is probably too close... Mischa would probably kill us both."

Steve sat up suddenly, and then he got up and went into the house - both Eddie and Kaj surprised by him suddenly moving away so abruptly, and they kind of fell into each other. Eddie helped Kaj get up, and they followed Steve inside. He was opening a drawer - and then he pulled out a big heavy book - he brushed his fingers over the page, and then he said, "...Holy shit. She knew who they were.. Look!" Steve held the book out to them both, and there were a bunch of names - families listed. 

Kennedy Wahlbern - Wahlbern was a family name for Pale ones. Kaj swore under his breath - and Eddie growled out - "So he doesn't shift... but someone in his family does?" Steve and Kaj looked at each other, and at the same time they both said "McCauly." 

Eddie raised an eyebrow - and Kaj looked at Eddie, "....Long story short, an ex boyfriend of mine." He looked decidedly uncomfortable at that bit of information - and Steve had his claws out - Eddie couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face and he gave Kaj a little elbow nudge. "I'm going to tear that mother fucking little bitch to shreds.." Steve snarled, and Kaj said softly - "Baby..." He looked at Eddie and Eddie gave him an innocent face - "Jesus you're both as bad as each other, we can't just go around killing everyone that crosses us."

"Want a bet?" Steve snarled out - vibrating with rage - "You know why he was going after you don't you..." 

Kaj murmured, "Yeah... course we know why.." He pulled Steve in closer, and Steve curled his arms around Kaj - peppering him with kisses as he said softly, "Min..nu ... min nu Spooky." Eddie was quite chuffed with himself as he said, "Mine now... mine now Spooky." They both looked at him and Steve said softly, doing that little purring growl - "Yes.. mine now, mine forever... fucking McCauly.. little slut, trying to ... kill my Spooky, using his brother... fucking cracker head ugly assed... bitches.." He looked ready to kill the entire Wahlbern line - not just Kennedy and McCauly.

Eddie let out a soft laugh, "I love it... We should just round them all up and eat them." Steve purr-growled at Eddie, "Yes.. that's perfect.." He was shamelessly rubbing himself up against Eddie too and Kaj said huskily, "You're putting ideas in his head Ed's - he's pregnant with our Pups... don't think he should be.. " 

Steve snarled out, "Pregnant with your Pups doesn't mean I can't kill some ugly cracker assed whore!" 

"Don't mess with Stevie.." Eddie said solemnly and Kaj laughed - "You're a fucker.." He gripped Eddie's face and gave it a squeeze - and Steve said softly, "My sweet honey boys.. I'm hungry, should we go back home?" He growled, "We can start with Kennedy.." He suddenly stripped off - putting his clothes inside the house - standing there naked, "Lock the house up." Then he shifted into his fur and took off. 

"I wish he wouldn't do that." Eddie murmured as he started getting undressed, and Kaj just watched Eddie - but then he did too, knowing all three of them would just get dressed again when they got back to the compound. "Yeah... you're worried about it too right?" Kaj asked softly, and Eddie nodded - "I mean .. I know he's safe out here, but I still worry." They both threw their clothes into the house and Kaj locked the door, putting the key back into its secret hiding place. Then they both shifted, and chased after Steve. 

~***~

They all got back to the compound, and Mischa was fussing with Steve - "No Stevie.. nuh-uh Baby Boy I don't think so!" She laughed as Steve huffed softly at her, "Oh come on... let me do it.." Eddie and Kaj had both gone to the cabin, getting clothes - whereas Steve was huffing softly as Mischa made him wear a robe. "You can't just run about the place butt naked Darling." Mischa snickering, "I know you're beautiful but you'll give the old timers.. a heart attack or something, its not a nudist colony." Steve huffed softly, "Its just a little cock and butt it ain't nothing nobody has not seen before, jeez louise." Both Eddie and Kaj were looking at Steve, who suddenly realized they were there.

"Oh hey.." He looked innocently at them - the silky robe he was wearing was actually Mischa's, and she laughed softly - shaking her head, "He was going to just strut about the place in all his naked glory." Steve said to her, "Don't tell my husbands my secrets Mish.. what happened to solidarity? Huh?" He pouted at her, his eyes all wolfed-out and then he whispered "I'll bring you back a tasty snack. delicious arm? A leg?" Mischa said, "Steven!" 

"What! I wanna gut that little bitch!" He was still in fuck up the Wahlbern's mode and Eddie let out a dark chuckle, "I suppose you were encouraging this yes?" Mischa tutted and Kaj laughed, "He totally was." Mischa said, "Sweet boy - you have to be careful, you were sick - then.. well your blackout?" Steve said, "I'll be fine.. besides a little murdering will be good for me. A little tasty snack will be good for the pups." He was eating a big hunk of steak - raw - off a plate and Kaj said, "....Raw?" 

"What!? I'm hungry!" Steve said - getting tearful, and Eddie held his hand over Kaj's mouth - "Don't say anything else little brother. Shush." Mischa snickered - "Eat your steak precious, ignore stinky Spooky." 

"Your stinky.. stupid Mish." Kaj muttered getting free of Eddie's grip - but then him and Eddie were play fighting and Mischa just stared at them - in shock?

"Oh yeah they're totally in love with each other two - Kajs a little bit in denial, bit scared - but they are... and doing the you know.." Steve said, making a fucking motion with his fingers and Mischa's face was in shock. "What?!" She squawked out and Steve giggled - holding the steak out for her to have a bite of, which she did - "I need that to settle my nerves." 

Kaj and Eddie were still playing - Eddie had jumped on Kaj's back and was biting him. "I'll fuck you up and throw you in the pond." Kaj told him - and then they were joined by Michael, Ghost - Jonathan and Argyle - it turned into an all out fight- the boys chasing each other with water guns? Steve said, "Where did they get those from?" 

Vicky and Robin came and joined Steve and Mischa - "...Stevie ew..." Robin gagged a little - and Steve held the steak out to her, "No Baby love - no thank you... I don't wanna eat that... ugh its all bloody." 

Steve made a happy noise, "Hmmm I know.." Vicky snickered softly and she took a bite - Robin said, "Oh god... that's vile - I need Mama Lyrena's tofu loaf." 

"No you need it raw and juicy.. hmm nom nom nom." Steve took another bite and was licking his fingers. "Want another piece precious?" Mischa asked, holding the plate out for him 'Oh yes.. please." Steve said as he took another piece and started eating that too.

Argyle looked over - "Dude.... are you eating raw steak?" He came over - "You totally are, man you're hardcore... either that or I've been smoking way to much shit man.." Steve giggled and held the steak out for him, and Argyle took a big bite. "Stevie your.. doggo's.." Steve's whole face lit up and he let out an ear piercing whistle. As always, they appeared form nowhere - Mischa most amused, and Steve said, "Thatch! My Babies!" He shared his steak with them, and they were all diving on him - licking him, and Steve gave all of them kisses. "Sit, good boy.." Thatch whined softly, then let out some soft yips - and a bark, it was as though he was talking to Steve (which he was)

"Oh definitely, I know its been crazy right? Here.. an extra piece." Steve said - his eyes going to Thatch's lady friend, who had a swollen belly. "Thatch... you knocked her up?" Steve sighed, "...Ella is a sweet girl  and you got her knocked up?" The little black dog, went running over to Eddie - barking at him and wagging his tail, and Eddie bent down and scooped him up. Mischa said "Give them the steaks, we have plenty more." 

Steve looked up at her, "Steaks for the fur babies? Damn bitches you're totally spoiled." He told them - Thatch held his paw up for Mischa, "Oh he's totally in love with you - he's feral.. he wants to shake your paw and be friends.. he only did that with me." Mischa chuckled and knelt down - holding her hand out and shaking his paw, and then he licked her face - whining softly at her and nudging his lady friend Ella who licked Mischa too.

"Okay!" Steve told them, "Kom nu.. Kom!!" He called them over and then gave them all a Steak each - then he went to Eddie, "Boris you have a steak too." The little black dog as shaking like a leaf and Eddie said, "Aww Boris, how about Daddy gives it to you yes?" Both Steve and Kaj looking at each other and then looking away - and Eddie was talking in a baby voice to the little dog, "Thats a good boy, Daddy will feed you." He was hand feeding a little wild dog his steak, and Steve whispered - "I.. dont know if we should think thats insulting.. or what." 

"I know.." Kaj muttered darkly, giving Eddie a side-eye. Which made Steve snicker - "Stevie?" Michael said with a smirk - "Baby boy why are you running around in a silk robe?" Eddie gave Michael a dark look and Kaj shook his head, mouthing "Abort... ABORT." 

"Oh Sweetie honey child, because I'm totally naked under here.. was in my fur.." Steve said all dirty and seductive - showing off a bit of leg - and Michael said "Damn.. hot sexy Mami.." Ignoring Eddie altogether and Steve giggled - curling his arms around Michael - "Guess what Michael." He cooed softly, "I'm going on a murder spree later.." Michael raised an eyebrow - and Kaj was still trying to get Michael to let go of Steve.

"I think I might go on one very soon.." Eddie said darkly - and Kaj was smirking - he curled his arms around Eddie - "Not really... no you don't need to do that - because Michael's totally letting go of our scantily clad beloved.." Kaj said - but of course Michael wasn't and Steve stroked his fingers into Michael's hair.

Michael and Steve - both sweet talking each other on purpose - "You're glowing Sweetie Baby.." Michael teased and Steve cooed back, "You think so? You want some steak Michael, Mish has some more inside...are you hungry - hmmm? Oh your so pretty look at this face I could just eat you all up.." He squished Michaels' face - the two of them laughing, and Kaj muttered - "I might kill him too.. his hands are on his hips... why is he touching his hips?"

"Oh chill out you two - Michaels' my sweet Bubba.. look at him.." Even though Michael was older - Eddie gripped Kaj tightly as Kaj growled - "Get your hands off his hips." Michael just looked at Kaj and Eddie - "You two need to get your hormones in check, sheesh.." He smirked and then Ghost came out of Michael and Will's cabin - only wearing his jeans, shirtless - "Michael?" Eddie whispered to Kaj, "Ah ... his mates retribution watch that little bitch cave."

Kaj snickered - and Eddie smirked - but they were both disappointed - including Michael. When Ghost came over - and then Steve and Ghost? Curled their arms around each other and went into Michael and Ghost's cabin, whispering to each other and giving each other kisses. Michael huffed out, "The fuck is that?!" Eddie smirked - "Ha! You didn't get to outsmart your mate." 

Michael said dryly, "Neither did you fucknuts - in case you didn't see - Stevie and Ghost both went in there... scantily clad and... all hot and shit.. yeah I'm in trouble I was meant to be getting Ghost some peanut butter cups from Vicky... and I kinda ate them?" He looked sheepish and Eddie laughed - "You suck Michael." He nodded - "I totally suck.." Eddie shook his head, "Good thing I know where Mish keeps a secret stash.. c'mon.." He dragged Kaj and Michael into the house - and the three of them looked at Lyrena and Missy, then at Misha - the three of them had all the photos in frames - and not only that, but they had boxes of stuff - that belonged to Kaj's parents.

Kaj suddenly had tears - he was crying as he saw the stuff - as he caught a scent of his parents. Michael said softly, "Kaj.." He cuddle the younger man - and he was actually happy when Eddie cuddled them both and then gave them a kiss - before he curled his arms around both Lyrena, then his sister - "Where did you.. get all this.." He asked Mischa. "It was all sent to me... after they... I just.." Kaj curled his arms around Mischa, and he whispered - "After they were murdered." 

Mischa nodded, and Missy said in her soft voice - "Look how gorgeous he was.. look at him Michael!" They all looked at baby Kaj and Eddie said with a chuckle - "Sweetest little cherub." Kaj was blushing hotly - and Vicky said, "We've got baby photos of Robbie too! And well me.. but ugh.. ginger baby.." Eddie snorted and held her baby picture up - "Look at this gorgeous little sweetpea." Vicky blushed hotly, and then Kaj picked up some of Robins.

"You're a terrible liar Robbie.." He said hoarsely, "You told Stevie you were an ugly baby." Robin snickered - "UGLEE." She grunted it out and Michael said, "What bullshit you were gorgeous and still are." Missy said, "All of you are beautiful and were beautiful... now you wanna see an ugly baby.." She shook her head, and then slapped down a photo of a cute little boy.

"Awww he's gorgeous!" Robin said, "Look at his little squishy poofy cheekies!"

Missy said dryly, "That's me you muppet." 

They all laughed hysterically and Robin said sweetly, "Well you were a cute little poofy cheeked angel!" Missy cuddled her tightly and said - "You kissing my ass is something I'll never get tired of Sunshine." 

Kaj said softly, "We felt Bean moving today." Everyone started talking all at once, and Eddie said - "The house? Is.. Stevie's birth den.." Lyrena nodded, "I.. wondered.. was it Mama Evie's?" Eddie nodded, "Yes... it was." Both Ghost and Steve came into the house, Steve now had some soft pants on as well as the robe - and he was looking at all the photos but especially the ones of Kaj. He picked up one of him, and Kaj, and Eddie. 

Steve said softly - "Oh wow.." Tears welled up in his eyes, and he kissed it - "I want to keep this one." He said softly, and then he cuddled up to Kaj and everyone got kind of quiet. Kaj curled his arms around Steve and then Steve reached out for Eddie too, the three of them curled into each other. Michael said hoarsely - "The goddamn dust! Its always flying around in the air around here!" Tears in his eyes as he cuddled up with Ghost. 

Missy sniffled - "Fucking gotta get some dust busters.. sonofabitch." She patted Michael and then said - "Time for beers!" Everyone chuckled and Missy said - "...non alcoholic of course.." Rolling her eyes and muttering as she went into the kitchen. "They're totally not non-alcoholic." Lyrena hissed at everyone - "Shes a rule breaker."

Jonathan walked in - looking all flushed and a bit guilty? "Hey guys.." Trying to be nonchalant, but he kind of tripped - "What the hell are you wearing Jon.." Missy looked at him - narrowing her eyes, then she snorted, "Hah! That's Issy's hoodie." Jonathan looked down at himself - "No? No it isn't.. it's mine... I totally love Metallica." He sat down - looking at the photos. And then of course Issy walked in with Tonka and Argyle - he was wearing Jonathan's shirt back to front - and Tonka was sniffing him, "You're totally wearing his shirt - and you smell like.. HEY everyone... didn't realize we were all getting together - nice robe Mama.." 

Steve let out a soft giggle, Tonka scooping Steve up - and spinning him around (Because they were totally besties now). Tonka played with Steve's braids - and then gave Argyle the sneaky side eye, "Ugh.. you have to let... uh someone braid yours.. sometime.." He said softly, giving Argyle some sweet eyes. Steve let out a soft little noise in his throat - and Argyle said - "Totally you wanna do it my guy? Your hair is... so .. bitchin.." Steve made another little noise in his throat - and Tonka set Steve down.

"Yeah? You think so?" Tonka asked - and Argyle said - "Yeah... hey we should UFO spot tonight.. up at the Ranch - Stevie my sweet little guy, I saw your rad shadow pony - he is one sweet horse. He let me feed him an apple." Steve said softly, "He did? Eden doesn't like anyone..." He let out a soft laugh as Argyle cuddled him and then he fished a tiny alien on a keychain out of his pocket - "For you, for your keys..' Eddie smiled and he said, "We should definitely UFO spot - maybe we can have a bonfire?" 

"Smores!" Issy said - "Some weeed.." He eyed Argyle - "..Bitch." He flicked Argyle - who said, "Hey man... no need to be messing with me like that my guy - we can work together.. make some new sick strains little bro what do you say?" Issy sighed - he looked at Jonathan, and then he held his fist out for Argyle - "Totally. My Homie." Argyle nodded - "Sounds more like it.. Hey you know who I saw earlier? Totally rocking some serious vibes with a seriously hot girl?"

Everyone stared at Argyle, "Sammy man - he was totally working his magic on this really pretty leggy sister with hair way down past her butt - she had wolf eyes like a sunset." 

Both Steve and Issy said at the same time, "Sammy and Lacey?" They grinned at each other - "Jinx." Issy poked Steve's cheek - "I'll let you off, cos you're all sweet and pregnant." Steve bit his finger and Issy pouted, "No Biting!" Steve kissed it better and then he pulled Issy into a cuddle - and scented him. They were cuddling, and Issy casually touched his stomach - "Woaaah. It....moved." Issy said - eyeing his stomach with huge eyes. "Dude! It moved."

Steve let out a soft laugh, "Well there's a pup in there Issy, kinda.. has to move.." His voice soft - and then everyone wanted a feel and Lyrena said - "Guys, guys... give Stevie his space.." Her voice soft, but she was smiling and Steve said - "It's okay, just.. maybe not all at once." His voice soft, everyone had a turn - and Jonathan said - "Thats so cool, you can feel the little movements."

Missy said, "Wait till its big movements - wait till its pressing on your bladder and you have to piss every..." She stared at Steve - who was looking at her with big eyes. "Sorry my Grandson, the miracle of childbirth, its fantastic... really." She sipped her beer and Steve let out a laugh - "Oh Nanny, never stop being you - you outrageous fucker." She grinned and said, "I love you my precious Boy." Steve giggled and said softly, "I love you too."

Vinny and River were the next to arrive - trailed by Sammy, who was wearing sunglasses - and acting all casual. "So... Sammy - we heard that you have been making all the smooth moves with a certain pretty girl?" Kaj said teasingly, and Sammy got all red - "...Uh.. miss Lacey, we're gonna go see a movie on Saturday night down in town." He had taken his sunglasses off, and then he said - "Daddy's gonna let me borrow the truck and everything." 

Steve said softly, "She's a really sweet girl, and you're a sweet boy Sammy - you found my Eddie." His eyes welled up and Sammy came over quickly, "Oh no you can't cry, no crying okay? That's not allowed, because you're too pretty to be crying, you come and sit down here.. okay? I'll get you a cookie, a sweet cookie.." Then he looked at Mischa, "Mama.. go get a cookie!" He said, as he cuddled Steve and said, "It's okay now, cos I'll cuddle you and it'll be fine.."

Vinny murmured, "The village idiot is so sweet." Lyrena said softly, "Don't be mean.. he really is so sweet." They made moony eyes at each other and Mischa chuckled as she came back with a cookie for Sammy, and Steve. "Here you go, cookies make everything better." Sammy said softly, stroking Steve's hair - and then Sammy gently closed Steve's robe up, "People can see you naked, shouldn't be looking cos.. that's not right.." He looked specifically at Michael, and then "Just not right.." Then he looked at Eddie, "Dirty perverts right Ed's?"

Eddie nodded solemnly, "That's right Sammy." 

Kaj smirked and shook his head and Eddie said - "Sammy's my main man aren't you Sammy." Sammy nodded, "That's right.. I am." He gave Michael a dark look - "You keep them eyes to yourself Mr. Michael." 

Michael let out a soft laugh, and Steve cuddled Sammy close, "You're just such a sweet little pup." Sammy and Steve were eating their cookies and Sammy said, "Lacey told me that you made her not scared anymore, hmm.. you're the best, the best ever." He nuzzled Steve, and Michael said - "Oh yeah sure you can scent up though... innocent my ass." Ghost said, "Michael, behave." Michael snorted - and Sammy said, "I can scent Steve cos.. I'm not thinking bout him naked like you Mr. Michael, dirty - dirty Michael.." Sammy shook his head, "Pervert." 

Eddie said, "That's right you tell him Sammy, keep those eyes peeled for me." Sammy made a gesture to Michael, with his fingers - to his eyes, and then to Michael, "Never not watching you Mr." Vinny laughed, "... God its like having your own secret body guard, but its a village idiot.." 

Mischa said, "Vincent...be nice." 

Vincent went into the kitchen, pulling Tonka with him - muttering to him.

Steve yawned and then he said, "Eddie? Kaj.. can we go back to Mama's for while tonight.. before we go to the ranch to UFO spot? Wanna curl up there with her and have a nap in the living room with everyone. Puppy pile!!!" Steve said happily, and everyone was talking over everyone else. "Of course yes." Eddie nodded and Kaj yawned too - Steve giggled softly, and Kaj smiled at him. "Shall we just walk down the hill?" Everyone agreed to do that, and Kaj said, "I'll piggy back you." Eddie said - "Uh no... not with your shoulder." His voice soft, everyone looked at the two of them, and Kaj muttered - "It's.. okay, Ed's not.."

Some eyes widened as Eddie growled softly and gripped his chin - "No." Eddie kissed him and then he said, "Not today Baby boy." He turned around "Hop on Sir Steven." Eddie smirked, and he winked at Kaj, "Give Kaj a break.." His voice soft, and Kaj let out a soft laugh - heat in his cheeks, as he muttered, "Fine let the old man do it.." Steve jumped on Eddie's back, curling his legs aroun his waist. "Cheeky.." Eddie growled softly, and Ghost whispered - "That just happened? I didn't hallucinate that did I?"

"Yes William, it just happened - I kissed Kaj." Eddie said with a chuckle and Steve said - "They totally kiss now.. and love on each other too but are shy don't make it weird." 

Kaj laughed and said, "Yeah don't make it weird Stevie and keep telling everyone that you see." His voice dry - and Steve said, "I'm not sorry... they gonna know .. mhmm my sweet honey boys."

Robin said with a giggle, "That's totally dirty when you say that isn't it Stevie."

"Oh yes.." Steve said with a little purr-growl... "Very dirty.. my sweet sweet honey boys.. all delicious.." 

"Michael stop drooling." Kaj murmured and Eddie laughed - "He's a raging sex maniac - I think he needs to go to nympho's anonymous." 

"I am still here and can hear you asshole." Michael growled out - "I am well aware Michael, you need help." Eddie teased.

They were all laughing, joking and teasing as they made their way back to the Rez - to Lyrena's so they could puppy-pile and snuggle each other or a nap. Steve loved the teasing - and he loved that Kaj and Eddie were teasing each other - and happy. He kept making his soft little purr-rumbles, and Lyrena whispered to Kaj  - "Stevie is feeling really content and happy, listen to his little purr rumbles." Kaj murmured softly, "I know he's been doing it all day.. after his little meltdown kicking and biting Eddie."

Lyrena said softly, "Hmm I've not seen him have an episode yet, Mina hasn't had one for a long time - she used to have them all the time. Whenever she got really frightened." 

Kaj said, "Yeah he... was upset, frightened because he thought.. I'd leave him." Lyrena curled her arm through his - "Have you figured out whose behind it?" Kaj nodded - "We think so yeah.. I think we'll be able to sort it out." She nodded, "I hope so - don't want you to leave, you're my sweet Blue eyes. We'd miss you too much." Kaj smiled and kissed her temple.

They all got to Lyrena's and piled inside - someone threw on the lost boys, everyone flopping down into the cushions. They had snacks, and drinks - but Steve snuggled up, he was laying with Lyrena, but still close to Eddie, and Kaj - and as he fell asleep, he was doing his purr-rumbling. Robin said softly, "That's new?"

Eddie liked it, but had never heard it before either. Kaj smiled - and Lyrena said, "He's truly contented and happy - he stared doing it today." 

Robin said softly, "Aww.. its so cute! He sounds like he's purring." 

"That's cos he is." Kaj said softly, "Purr-rumbling. He'll do it when he.. feeds the pups too most likely." He felt Eddie looking at him, and Kaj looked back at Eddie - before lowering his gaze to stare down at Steve. Robin said softly, "Oh my god I'm probably going to cry when he does that.." Lyrena let out a soft little rumble of her own and Vinny curled his arms around her. "Are you settled in or do we all need to pitch in and help move everyones stuff off the trucks?" 

Eddie nodded, "Yeah we still gotta do that.. we didn't really get to it yet." 

Lyrena gave Vinny a soft kiss on his jaw, "Plenty of time.. its not going anywhere - this is what we all need, comfort and cuddle time.." She was watching Kaj and Eddie, "Cuddle time.." She said again softly and then kept stroking Steve's hair as she let her eyes close. Eddie laid back, casually - watching the movie, and Vinny smirked - "Smooth, real smooth.." Lyrena whispered, "Hush your face." Kaj snuggled into Eddie's side and ignored the heat in his cheeks. And Lyrena said softly, "See.. cuddle time." Eddie gently stroked Kaj's hair and Steve snuggled in more too - purr-rumbling, but curling his fingers through Lyrena's.  

Kaj fell asleep too, and Eddie said softly - "My sweet Babies are both asleep." Vinny said - "...You're gonna keep them both safe, right Ed's?" Eddie looked at Vincent - "I'm going to keep every single one of you safe Vinny." Vinny smiled and Eddie smiled back - "We'll keep each other safe Uncle Ed's." He held his fist out - and Eddie gave him a fist bump. "Two bit punk." Eddie said quietly, and Vinny smirked - "Fucking creeper." Eddie laughed softly and Vinny grinned. 

Chapter Text

Eddie unlocked the door to the barn, and Steve almost ran inside - Kaj let out a soft little laugh, and Eddie smirked - shaking his head "Slow down sweet boy.. he's not going anywhere." Steve just let out a soft little growl and then ignored them both, disappearing inside. Kaj and Eddie both went in at the same time and Eddie glanced at Kaj, who was looking at the ground. "Relax.. don't be so anxious." Eddie's voice soft and soothing. 

"Well forgive me if I'm a bit apprehensive about this entire thing.." Kaj said, his voice a little bit gruff - "Stevie's frothing at the mouth to kill him.." Eddie just smirked and then leaned in closer as he murmured, "Don't pretend like you don't secretly love it.."

Kaj tried to ignore the shiver that went down his spine, and he shoved Eddie - "Shut the hell up.." He said darkly, his eyes landed on Steve - who was staring at Kennedy. 

Kennedy had a bag over his head and he was tied up to one of the support beams. He heard them come in - "Who's there?! Let me fucking go you sick bastard!" Kennedy called out and Eddie just smirked again - "I don't think you want me to let you go." He told Kennedy, crouching down - he took the bag off his head.

Kennedy's eyes were on Eddie - he spat in his face, and Eddie said - "Well that is just uncalled for." He wiped it off - and Kennedy's gaze went from Eddie to Kaj. "Oh shit.. I should have known you'd be here too. How's it going man.." He was trying to be friendly? Kaj just let out a soft snarl, and Kennedy let out a nervous laugh - "We can be friendly.. sorry about the.. stabbing.." He didn't get to finish what he was saying though, because Steve suddenly grabbed him by the throat.

Steve's eyes were white, and Kennedy said choked up - "Steve, h-hey.." He stunk of fear - reeked of it, and Steve said icily - "You didn't stab him you piece of shit, you fucking slit him open.. you tried to kill him... you almost did... and you probably should have tried to finish the job, you useless sack of shit. Because at least then we wouldn't have found out the truth.. just shows how useless you are."

Kennedy pissed himself, and Steve made a face - "I want you to tell me where McCauly is, because we know it was him that got you to do his dirty work, right? How fucking pathetic you snivelling sack of shit.." Kaj breathed out heavily, and Eddie was just leant up against another beam, amused - and Kennedy stammered out - "I... I owed him money man, he told me he'd clear my debt if I did it.. plus he's my brother, Kaj broke his heart... broke his heart because he was cheating on him with you."

Steve snorted, "We weren't doing anything, McCauly is just a stupid little bitch. He's going to be a dead stupid bitch - but he's still a stupid little bitch."

"I can tell you where he is, I.. can help you - just ...please don't kill me. Please I'm sorry Steve, I can... help you and shit.. with whatever." Kennedy pleaded and Steve looked at Kaj and then at Eddie, "Can you believe this asshole." Steve said, "Why the fuck would I need your help with anything? Seriously?!"

"I know where he got the monksfoot, he got it from this big time asshole - rich asshole from Washington, I think he's a fed, or a CIA dude or something.. a secret agent kind of type - or.. like a cop - or.. whatever.. He was the one that had been working with McCauly, because he knew about the two of you... especially you Steve."

Steve frowned, "What CIA asshole.. do you know his name?" He gripped Kennedy's throat tighter and the other man said, "Fuck you're hurting me.." Steve let go and Kennedy breathed out harshly. "What CIA asshole?" Steve repeated the question, and Kennedy said hoarsely - "Hopper, his name was Hopper."

Kaj, Steve and Eddie all looked at each other - and Eddie said darkly, "That piece of shit. If he wasn't already dead.." 

Kennedy was looking at Eddie, but then he turned his gaze back to Steve.

"I know a lot of shit, but.. McCauly? He knows more Steve.. He got the monksfoot from Hopper, I know he did because he told me.." His voice was raspy - and Steve said, "So you're telling me what? That Hopper knew about what we were? And he was helping McCauly? That he knew McCauly and gave it to him?" 

Kennedy said quieter, "Hopper was your enemy man, he wasn't your fucking Savior."

Kaj looked at Eddie, because Eddie had already said the same thing - he'd said it and nobody had believed him. Steve looked at Kaj, briefly - then he stared at Eddie. 

Eddie breathed out in a slow exhale, "Why was McCauly targeting Kaj, surely not just because of some jealous ex-lover bullshit."

Kennedy stared at Eddie, then he looked at Kaj - "Well he's still obsessed with Kaj... but yeah no... it was more than that I think. He just wouldn't tell me what."

Steve was quiet, maybe too quiet. 

"Are you okay Stevie?" Kaj asked him, his voice a little bit husky - Steve was just kneeling in front of Kennedy, but he was staring down at the ground - fixated on it almost. 

"Steven?" Eddie's voice a little deeper, firmer - and Steve suddenly just ripped Kennedy's throat out - blood splattering everywhere - all over him. 

"Jesus Christ." Kaj gasped it out - not having been expecting it, not like that. The blood covering Steve and he watched as Steve tore Kennedy's heart out of his chest and then Steve stood up, he moved slowly, in a completely predator like stalk - towards Kaj.

Kaj's heart was pounding in his chest, Eddie watching them both - his eyes all dark. Eddie wasn't amused anymore, he was aroused. Turned on by the act of brutality. 

Steve curled his bloody hand against Kaj's face, and he fucking rumbled-purred, "For you my beloved." His voice all dirty and soft - but still vicious. As he held the heart to Kaj's lips. Kaj was shaking, with arousal? fear? Both? He felt his fangs elongate out in his mouth as it watered, the smell of the blood in his nose. 

Kaj took a bite, and he could taste the fear in the wet juicy muscle, the fear in the blood. He ate it, while Steve stared at him - they didn't break eye contact, and Steve growled soft in his throat, "More.." He whispered, and Kaj ate another bite. He was so turned on - and Steve kept staring at him, "More.. eat it all up.." Steve growled softly, another little purr-like rumble coming from him. 

Eddie made a soft little growl over in the corner - but neither of them were paying any attention to the older man.

Kaj left a solitary bite for Steve, who ate it and then they were kissing, ravenously - Kaj could taste the blood in Steve's mouth, and he could feel the stickiness of it on his face where Steve was holding him. Steve licked his face, it was gory and messy, and Kaj growled into their kiss, when they pulled apart, their mouths were wet - saliva mixed with blood connecting them. Steve said breathlessly, "Piece of shit tasted good.. never let him get away with trying to take you from me, from... us.." They kissed again, and Kaj moaned into Steve's mouth, they kissed till Kaj's lungs burned and he pulled back, trying to get air into his lungs.

Eddie was tearing Kennedy into pieces - right in front of them both - almost frenzied with it, and Steve licked his face, and whispered, "Bite sized." Kaj just stared - not sure what the fuck was even happening to his brain, he should have been appalled by it? But he wasn't. Eddie was breathing heavily, covered in blood and gore and mess - and he stared at them both. "... Do you know where McCauly is?" His voice rough, and Steve said with a soft huffy laugh - "Of course, he'll be where he always is.. in D.C - that's not that far away.. piece of shit.." 

Kaj breathed out heavily, his own voice shaky - "...Do you think that Hopper knew who we all were? Even you Ed's?"

Eddie said darkly, "I think he must have, I think it's the three of us that have been in the dark - and potentially more at risk being apart... I knew Jim was always a threat to Stevie." Steve breathed out softly, "I didn't even know Eddie, and I sure as hell never knew that he knew about Kaj." 

Kaj said quietly - "All this time we were apart - Steve and I connected, but not... remembering our past - Eddie you being alone most of your life.. looking for Steve." He shook his head and muttered softly, "We've been potentially being kept apart too." Eddie looked at them both, but then he looked at Kaj, "I had always been looking for you as well but never knew how to find you - and I didn't know that you already had been connected to Steve, I... thought maybe you were dead, had been killed when Niklaus and Katija were murdered.. I couldn't find a trace of you."

Steve said softly, "Maybe that was partly because of Evie's magic, or... it could have been as simple as Hopper burying shit." He breathed out slightly heavier, "I think we need to find out more about what Jim has been up too, but we also need to be careful about that - because you killed him." He looked at Eddie, "But I still have my connections, I'm technically still working for the BAU.. But I still think this is deeper than McCauly just being jealous, its more than Hopper - its connected to the Five, to our shit, our ancient shit... I know it is.. I feel it.."

Both Eddie and Kaj looked at each other and Steve looked at them both - "I know it is. I also know that we have to be careful too. I know that you're both thinking the same thing as I am. That we still all have to be careful." 

Kaj pulled Steve into his arms, and he said soft against his ear - "We all have to be careful Wolfie.. We've been being attacked and not known whos working against us. We know some of it, but not the entire story." Steve said softly, "I know - and we will be careful.. I just... I had to kill him.. he hurt you.." He pouted and Eddie smirked - "...You got to have a kill - you can be a little more patient now hmm?" Kaj nuzzled Steve's face and Eddie added, "We'll take this back for everyone to eat?"

Steve let out a soft little rumble-purr and Kaj muttered softly, "Just randomly take the human meat back - this is so fucked up."

"You enjoyed eating the heart though yes?" Eddie said, amused again and Kaj said darkly, "Yes I did.. fucking christ on a stick Ed's... shut up."

Steve let out a soft little giggle, and Eddie just smirked - "We knew you would."

"Shut up." Kaj said softly, but he kissed Steve's throat and Eddie muttered - "Such a mess, I should have brought a container." 

Kaj snorted softly, and Steve cooed at Eddie, "Just through him in a plastic bag.. good to go." 

"I love how you're both so nonchalant about it... really?" Kaj said - shaking his head, watching as Eddie said - "That's a good idea, I have some in the car.. I'll go get them." He left them in the barn, and Steve said softly, "You're upset?"

Kaj shook his head, "No... and that's bothering me.. I should be, shouldn't I?" He asked Steve, and Steve just looked up at him - "Nuh-uh.." He said softly, looking all sweet and innocent and Kaj laughed, "You're not fooling me with that face anymore Baby, you're a stone cold killer." Kaj murmured softly, and Steve let out a soft little purr. "Only sometimes.." He said sweetly, and Kaj laughed - "Nope.. all the time.. little monster."

Eddie let out a soft snicker, throwing the pieces of Kennedy into a rubbish bag. "You love it too." He murmured, and Kaj said - "Don't be so smug.. asshole." Eddie winked at him and Kaj laughed, "Stop it!"

Steve said sweetly, "Nom nom nom." 

Kaj growled out, "Hush your face.. don't encourage each other." 

Eddie laughed and then he grabbed the hose, spraying away any other blood and gunk. "We can leave now - hmm make a plan to go and find McCauly? We should probably do that soon.." He said quietly, and grabbed the rubbish bag.

Kaj nuzzled Steve's throat and Eddie stared at the two of them. 

"...We should do that yeah, but... maybe wait a little while first." Steve's voice was soft, and he said "Get settled in here.. our stuff and.. everything? That little bitch won't be going anywhere.. besides I want us to go UFO spotting tonight, have fun with our family.. and.. I also don't want to get into this shit too deep yet.." Kaj and Eddie looked at each other, watching Steve as he curled his hands against his belly, "..I think we should wait, till I've had the pups.." His voice soft, "We don't have long to wait.."

Kaj said softly, "We can do that Baby."

Eddie nodded, "Nobody knows that we're up here either - so.. you're right. Settled in, get things done. Deal with the other noise later." 

Steve held his hand out for Eddie, who stepped in closer. The three of them quiet for a few moments - and the Kaj muttered, "You have a bit of Kennedy.. in your fucking hair.."

Eddie muttered, "Where.."

Steve snickered, and Kaj said, "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Don't be a princess." Eddie growled at him, "Just pull it out."

"Fuck off.. you pull it out!" Kaj growled back.

Steve reached up and pulled it from Eddie's hair, and he ate it. 

Kaj gagged a little, Eddie and Steve both laughing at him. "You're both gross." Kaj told them. Eddie just smirked, and Steve made a slurp noise, before saying softly, "Nom, nom,, nom..."

"You're both... gross." Kaj said again, hiding his smirk as they went back outside to the car. He did love them both, his two Monsters.

Chapter Text

Steve had slipped away silently, without waking either Eddie or Kaj. They had all been sleeping in the same bed - just.. started to do it, not wanting to be apart. Not really thinking about it anymore - separation? It didn't cross their minds. And Steve liked it, he liked being surrounded by their scent, their warmth - not having to choose between which one of them he wanted to be with. 

Heat stained his cheeks when he thought about it. A little guilty, and feeling a little bit dirty. Biting on his fingers as he made his way across the driveway in the dark. Steve was bundled up, feeling a little extra cold - and he wasn't entirely sure why, but he slipped into the truck, and then started the engine. 

He'd left them a note, just saying he'd be back as soon as he could be - but Steve didn't say what he was doing, or where he was going. He knew it was reckless - probably crazy. Dangerous even. But he wanted to do it, needed to do it. Steve started the truck and left the Rez, and he drove - it took him a few hours, to get to his destination. 

He arrived outside of McCauly Wahlbern's house - it was a nice house, McCauly had come up in the world, he watched as the other man kissed his Boyfriend? Husband? Obviously he wasn't living alone anymore. Steve's eyes widened though, because his significant other - was not unfamiliar - Steve knew him. His significant other was the CIA asshole, he had to be. 

It wasn't just Hopper. Steve didn't stay to confront McCauly - He could do that later. Instead he started up the truck and followed Tommy Hagen. 

The other man drove not to the obvious location Steve thought he'd go too, instead he drove downtown - to what seemingly looked like an abandoned building and parked in the parking lot underneath. Steve parked in the street, he casually "bumped" Into Tommy by accident. "Holy shit... Steve Black." Tommy gave him a smile, and Steve smiled back - "Tommy holy shit...man its been a long time." They'd only known each other because Tommy was another foster kid sob story like him and Kaj. 

Steve suspected he was recruited by Hopper - he had to be. 

They stared at each other and Tommy murmured - "You... you're looking good man, how long has it been?"

"Uh.. probably six years since we last saw each other? I think it was in California.. Death Valley, I think." Steve said, and Tommy's face lit up - "Oh... yeah, the festival thing.. man that was a long time ago.. you were with Kaj? You still see him?" He asked, and Steve nodded - "Yeah.. well kind of?." He replied, the two of them were both sizing each other up - and then Tommy said, "Hey uh there's a good place just across the street, well... its around the corner but they make good coffee? Wanna go grab one?"

"Sure... we can do that." Steve said, as he pushed his hair out of his face. 

Tommy smiled, and he nodded - "Great, cool... uh so what are you up to these days?" He loosened the tie he had around his neck, and as they walked up the street, Steve said - "I work for the BAU, Quantico.. and I was a police Chief in Woodville, but recently stopped doing that." 

"Really, the BAU... so that's the Unit that looks into Killers and shit.." He looked at him, and Steve nodded - "Yeah, serial killers.." He murmured, Tommy laughed - "Scary shit, I'm working for the CIA, just.. basic bitch kind of stuff though - nothing terribly interesting.."

Steve didn't believe him - he breathed out slowly as they walked around the corner. "Do you?" He said, and Tommy looked at him - "Do I what?"

"Really do that, or are you telling me bullshit." Steve asked, his voice more sharp - and Tommy paused, the two of them just standing in the middle of the sidewalk. 

They crossed the street and went into the small cafe, sitting together at a table. 

When the waitress came over, Tommy stared at him - and then he said, "Want me to order for you?" Steve just nodded, still waiting for Tommy to answer. 

He ordered them both food and coffees, and then he looked at Steve - "This meeting isn't a coincidence is it... you're here because of Hopper, because he was murdered?"

"Not specifically because of that.." Steve said, brushing his fingers against the table, and Tommy breathed out slightly heavier. "We... worked together, him and I... for a long time. He kind of recruited me - straight out of high school to work with him, to... keep you hidden, keep the shit off you. But.."

"What the fuck, do you really expect me to believe that? You're shacked up with McCauly!" Steve hissed out, and Tommy's eyes moved over his face - then he reached out, and took hold of Steve's arm, curling his fingers around his wrist. "McCauly is my undercover thing.. He has a connection that is the real threat Steve, Hopper... I think he was taken out because he got too close." 

Steve pulled his arm away, and Tommy said - "Hopper and I we did a lot of shit, ... when Kaj broke up with McCauly - you know what happened, he got his brother to try and take him out."

"He got the fucking monksfoot from Hopper, Kennedy told me." Steve spat out angrily.

"That's what Kennedy told you, and you believed that sack of shit?" Tommy asked, a smirk on his face - "C'mon Steve, you're not dumb - did Hopper ever give you any inclination that he knew what you were?"

Steve breathed out slowly and then he said softly, "No.. no he didn't." 

Tommy nodded, "Because he didn't know that side of the story, I did - I kept it as much on the downlow as I could. I knew - I've always known." Steve watched as Tommy's eyes shifted and glowed a vibrant shade of green. "You..." Steve said quietly, "... Jesus Christ." 

The other man laughed softly, "I'm Uratha, .. I have to pretend I just change once a month, to fool McCauly - but the point is. McCauly got the monksfoot from a guy named Tobias Wainforth, he's a bit of a schmuck - a fucking fancy asshole, Virginia high-society asshole.. you know.. la-de-dah bastard. Country clubs, dinner parties - opera going, theatre loving piece of shit... the kind of asshole that you and Kaj would have fucked up... I'm pretty sure McCauly is fucking around with him and has just been using me to get information for him. I haven't been giving him information and I'm pretty sure he's starting to catch on."

Steve said quietly, "... Tobias Wainforth? Never heard of him."

"No but your friend Dr. Munson probably has.. same social circles.. same friends.." Tommy said as he raised an eyebrow. "Wainforth is a big shot - and he's got his hands in all kinds of pies if you know what I'm saying... he also collects artifacts.."

Tommy's gaze dropped to Steve's neck, and Steve brushed his fingers against the claw.