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3 months ago……
Dennis’ heart was racing, he’d been milling over his feelings for the two older doctors for months, since seeing them the first day, he hadn’t even interacted with Doctor Abbot until almost 3 weeks into his rotation.
But he couldn’t get over them. He’d tried. Dennis had gone out to bars, one-night-stands after one-night-stands, he’d even tried to date but everytime he tried he just got mad because it wasn’t Robby’s hands on his back, it wasn’t Jack’s eyes looking him over.
So today he decided to just get it over with. Today would be a new day. He would tell them both about his feelings so they could reject him and he could push them down. Without any hope his feelings would fizzle out. Right?
“Doctor Robby, Doctor Abbot, can I- uh, talk to you?”
Robby was in the middle of briefing his husband on the current patients and the board, he turned to Whitaker at the same time as Jack.
“Yeah, what’s going on Whitaker?”
“Well, I uh.” Suddenly Dennis was second guessing himself. Was he really going to tell these men, MARRIED men, that he had a crush on them? That’s so embarrassing, what if they think he’s a stalker and don’t want to write him recommendations anymore?
“What’s going on? You can tell us anything.” Jack prompted.
“…” he opened his mouth “….. I have a- ihaveacrushonyoubothandipromiseimnotastalkerandijustwantedtotellyousoicangetoverit-“
“Woah- woah, kid, slow down.” Robby touched his shoulders.
“Lets……… let’s go to the break room, okay?” Jack spoke, looking around, everyone was staring at them.
Dennis nodded, he was practically sweating out half the fluid in his body. Robby sat him in a chair in the break room.
“You said you have a crush on us? Both of us?” Jack asked, handing Dennis a water bottle.
“Uh- no?” Dennis was lying.
“…. Yes you did.” Robby told him, looking back to Jack.
“……. I know it’s highly unprofessional, I’ve tried to get over it for months- I just- I wanted to tell you so I can put it behind me.” Dennis spoke, rubbing the back of his neck.
“First of all, it’s not unprofessional, you can’t help how you feel, thank you for telling us, second, I think I speak for us both when we say we’re flattered.” Jack told him.
“Dennis I’ve been telling Jack all about you since your first day,” Robby told Dennis, “we never even considered you’d feel the same, we’re older and married, hell we didn’t even think you’re gay.”
Dennis’ face flushed. “Wait- I’m confused, you- you like me?”
“We do.” They said in sync.
“…. I-I- I don’t- I don’t know what to say.” Dennis told them.
“Let us take you out, on a proper date.” Jack grabbed Robby’s hand.
“I- okay.”
Robby smiled along with Jack, then Robby pulled out his business card.
“Text me your schedule, okay?” He told Dennis.
Dennis nodded, looking over the card, it read:
‘Dr. Micheal Robinavitch, MD. Emergency Department, Pittsburg Trauma Medical Center
412-555-3479 | [email protected]’
At some point both males must’ve left because when Dennis looked up they were gone. He HAD been staring at the card for a while.
Dennis finally got around
to texting the number later.
‘Hey, it’s Dennis Whitaker, I’m off Tuesday and Friday this week’
‘Hey Whitaker, that’s perfect, Jack and I are off Friday as well.’ Robby texted back.
Dennis saved his number in his phone and they got to planning a date.
The date was short and sweet, a local Italian place that Dennis could never afford. They wouldn’t even let him look at the prices, insisting they pay.
Dennis begrudgingly let them.
“So, why did you decided to become a doctor?” Robby asked Dennis.
“Oh, well, uh, I always liked it, whenever we had pigs or sheep birth on the farm it was a thrill to help, uh, and one time my cat had kittens, but one of them was born with twisted feet, my dad- he wanted to euthanize her…” Dennis began, the two males across from him smiled sadly at the story, “but I wouldn’t let him, I told him I’d treat her myself, and I did, I wrapped and splinted her legs for weeks, and then when she was about 4 months old she could walk like normal, she’s 12 now.” He smiled at the memory.
“That’s very sweet, I’m glad you saved her, you said you grew up on a farm, Nebraska, right?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, Nebraska,” Dennis confirmed. After a moment he spoke again, “why did you two decided to become doctors?”
“Well when I was 18 I joined the military, my father was in the Vietnam war and I wanted to serve my country like him, but I quickly realized I hated it, eventually I became a medic……” Jack hesitated, the memory still fresh even though it was years ago, “after a few tours I lost my leg, I came home and I met Robby, and I didn’t know what to do, so eventually I realized I wanted to do whatever I did overseas, but with less bombs, and I met Robby as an MS2, he was already a resident.” Jack told him, leaning over to touch Robby’s hand. Neither of the married couple were used to PDA, when they were first together it was taboo.
“Oh, I’m sorry about the- yeah, I uh, I keep forgetting that you’re an amputee.” Dennis spoke, looking embarrassed.
“I forget sometimes too, and it’s my own leg, don’t worry about it.” Jack spoke.
“I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I thought maybe lawyer, police officer, I wasn’t sure, then a woman dropped in front of me, she stopped breathing and I called 911, they told me how to do CPR and I was hooked, I switched all my classes to medical courses and it came to me like air.” Robby told Dennis.
“Was she okay?” Dennis asked.
“Yeah, she made it, it was just a random cardiac event, I think she had to have a transplant later.” Robby told him.
The waiter came back and refilled their drinks, they asked for their check and chatted until they could pay.
“Doctor Robby, can I ask you something?” Dennis asked.
“Please, kid, Just Robby, especially when we’re on a date.”
“And call me Jack.” Jack told Dennis preemptively.
“Then call me Dennis.” Dennis told them.
They nodded.
“What was it that you wanted to ask me?” Robby asked.
“Uh, well, I looked up like- food laws for Judaism, how do you go out to eat with all of them?” Dennis questioned.
“I called ahead and got a kosher meal, if someone kind of cross contamination happened I won’t sweat it because god will forgive me.” Robby told him.
“Oh, okay.”
“Did you have any other questions?”
“None I want to ask in an Italian restaurant.”
“Well how about we talk about something else? Uh, what’s your favorite color?” Jack asked.
“I can get behind any color, I like really bright colors.” Dennis spoke.
“So you don’t have a favorite?” Robby clarified.
“No, not really, I can get behind any color, bright yellow, light yellow, bright orange, Blue, I really like cottagecore colors too.”
“Cottage- core?” Jack asked, he looked to Robby and Robby shrugged out an ‘I don’t know’.
“Fuck, you’re so old, cottagecore is like, neutral browns and greens and yellows, frogs and mushrooms and stuff, it’s like a vibe.” Dennis told them.
“Oh.” Robby spoke.
Jack nodded.
“So what about you two?” Dennis asked.
“I’m a big fan of red.” Robby replied.
“Uh, army green.” Jack said.
Dennis and Robby snorted at the same time.
“Of course it’s army green, I should’ve figured.” Dennis told him cheekily.
“What’s that supposed to mean kid?” Jack snarked.
The waiter handed Robby the check, he didn’t even look at it, just handed the guy his card and told him to add a 40% tip.
The guy was speechless and thanked him then came back with the receipt for Robby to sign. He signed.
They drove Denis back to thier house and they talked more.
—
14 days later…..
“Will you be our boyfriend?” Robby asked.
He and Jack made dinner for Dennis, they put their heart and soul into the food and Dennis loved it, then they played a board game, operation, funnily enough. They sat together on the couch for a few minutes before Dennis spoke.
“What?” Dennis asked. He looked shocked.
“We really like you, and the past two weeks have been really fun, we want you to date us properly.” Jack told him.
Dennis just stared.
“Dennis?” Robby asked.
“I uh- um, yeah, that’s, that’s nice, I, uh, should-“
Dennis was panting, probably hyperventilating, his breath wouldn’t come. His hands and feet were tingly. His vision had black spots.
“Dennis, you’re not breathing, take deep breaths with me.” Jack put his hands in his own chest and exaggerated his breathing.
It didn’t help.
“Dennis, Dennis, look at me, Denny? Baby, look at me.” Robby told him, Dennis was shaking like a leaf, having a full panic attack.
“Dennis.” Jack grabbed his chin and tilted it until he was looking at Jack’s face.
“Hey, hey, Zeeskeit, bubbeleh, I need you to breath, you’re not getting enough oxygen so your body is prioritizing, your fingers and toes probably feel fuzzy right? I need you to breathe in deep for me.” Robby told him, he grabbed him, scooping him up in his and Jack’s arms on the couch.
Dennis nodded, his breathing was the same but at-least he could hear them.
Dennis was self-soothing, mouthing out prayers and quotes from the Bible.
‘Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen’ he mouthed, trying to slow his breathing. His family is extremely religious, somewhere between evangelical Christians and straight up cult members.
Dennis himself has a less severe take on religion but mumbling or reciting the Bible helps calm him. It makes him feel better, a coping mechanism he no doubt picked up over all times he was “out of control” and made to kneel and read the Bible out loud until he could memorize it chapter by chapter.
Even now, a good 10 years later, he can remember and recite 75-80% of the entire thing, the first time he read through it, he was surprised at how many mentions of murder, incest, and abuse there was, he figures that it was a different time, and maybe that all was normal then.
“….What is he saying….?” Jack not-so-subtly whispered in Robby’s ear.
“I think it’s from the Bible, maybe quotes or verses.” Robby whispered back.
After a good fifteen minutes of Dennis mumbling verses and trying to get his breathing back under control, he seemed to calm down.
Jack had spent the entire time rubbing his back in gentle circles.
“I’m sorry.” Dennis spoke.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for Den, do you want to talk about it?” Robby asked.
“………. If a man lies with a male as with a woman, they both committed an abomination; they certainly will die; their blood is upon them, Leviticus 20:13,” Dennis started, looking at the floor, “my parents used to tell me that verse all the time, I freaked out because I……. I’m scared they’ll find out, and I know we’ve had sex before, but there’s something different with having boyfriends than thier is having a- a lapse in judgment- and that’s not what you are- I- I want to be your boyfriend- I’m just-“ Dennis began to spiral.
“We get it Shrew, you don’t have to explain yourself, you can feel- however you feel.” Jack told him.
Robby chuckled at the nickname.
“Shrew?” Dennis questioned.
“You didn’t like ‘mouse’. I thought I’d try another rodent.” Jack replied with a hint of playfulness, “seriously though Dennis, I get it, being gay and Christian sounds hard, especially if your parents are quoting bible verses at you, we don’t have to call this anything if you don’t want to.”
“No-! No, I want- I want to, I want to be both of your’s boyfriend.” Dennis spoke, flushed.
“Yeah?” Robby confirmed.
“Yeah.”
“So officially dating?” Jack asked
“Someone write down the date so we can celebrate in a year.” Dennis spoke, snuggling up into Robby’s neck.
“Okay Dennis.” Jack told him, kissing his forehead.
“I’m sorry for freaking out, really, it’s just…” Dennis’ breath started to pick up.
“Nope, nope, we’re not doing that, deep breaths.” Robby told him.
“…… sorry.” Dennis tried to breathe deeply.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to us.” Jack spoke.
“No, I want to…….. it’s just, growing up……. I was always taught that uh, even if you think about sins, it’s okay, as long as you don’t act on them………. I guess it’s uh, like internalized homophobia or something- it’s not like I think you guys being married is wrong cause I don’t- but- uh, me dating a married couple- while being gay, and they’re both men- is……………”
“I get it, it took me a long time to come to terms with my religion and sexuality.” Robby told him.
“How did you do it? I mean, how do you deal with it?” Dennis asked him.
“Well, most modern Rabbi’s are fine with members of the lgbt community, but it took me a long time to realize that if god didn’t want me to be gay, he wouldn’t have made me that way.” Robby spoke, intertwining his hand with Dennis’.
“….. you’re really wise….” Dennis smiled.
“Well he is old.” Jack broke the tension.
“You’re only 7 months younger than me Jack.”
—
Current day…….
Dennis was laying under a pile of blankets, four of them on him, sleeping.
Robby and Jack were on call and got called in on a set of 4 traumas, they all lived. Then they came home again, this time instead of watching TV, Dennis was asleep in their bed. They walked in and stared at thier boy.
“How did we get so lucky?” Jack asked Robby.
“I have no idea. Look at our boy.” Robby gently ran his hand through Dennis’ curly hair.
Jack sat beside Dennis, took off his prosthetic, then pulled the boy close to his chest, inhaling his scent.
“You didn’t even shower.” Robby spoke.
“Yeahhhh, come on, come cuddle us, that’ll be a tomorrow Jack and Robby problem.”
“Never refer to us in the third person again.”
Robby hopped in bed after taking off his scrubs, cuddling up behind Dennis so that Dennis was sandwiched between the two older men.
“Mm, he’s so sweet.”
“So perfect for us.”