Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

2013 BioShock Inc's Rules for Employees. (Written by Stanley Poole)

1. If Dr Tenenbaum is holding a large needle, do not approach her.

2. Do not agree to an eating contest with Mr DeWitt.

3. Do not make bets with Mr DeWitt.

4. Do not make bets with Dr DeWitt.

5. Do not make bets with Dr Fitzroy about Mr DeWitt.

6. Do not make bets with anyone about Mr DeWitt.

7. If you find Dr E. Lamb and Dr S. Lamb arguing, do not engage. For your own safety.

8. Do not go into Mr A. Wynand's security office, under any circumstance, even if he invites you.

9. Do not match with Mr A. Wynand on Grindr.

10. Do not take bribes from Mr Sinclair, Esq., no matter how tempting.

11. Do not take bribes from Mr Fontaine to take bribes from Mr Sinclair, Esq., no one cares if you would be able to pay off your student loans with the money.

12. Mr Delta is not a monkey gym, please stop climbing him.

13. That means you, DeWitt.

14. The crows are test subjects, not pets.

15. The Thinker is not a toy, stop trying to ask it to predict winning lottery numbers.

16. Dr and Dr R. Lutece have a habit of showing up at random and scaring people, just ignore them, they will get bored. Eventually. We hope.

17. Do not ask Mr J. Wynand about his bees, he will not shut up.

18. Do not bring up Dr E. Lamb around Dr DeWitt, unless you don’t have anything better to do and don’t mind the sapphicness sappiness.

19. Relationships between employees are strictly forbidden.

20. Yes, that includes propositioning Mr DeWitt, leave that man alone.

21. Yes, Mr Delta and Mr Sinclair, Esq. are getting married, but Mr Sinclair, Esq. is one of the bosses so rules don’t apply to him.

22. Yes, Dr E. Lamb and Dr DeWitt are also together, rules apparently don't apply to them either.

23. Don’t mind the sounds in the vents, those are just the Spiders.

24. Please don’t ask Father Comstock what he did before working at BioShock, you don’t want to know the answer.

25. Do not ask Mr Ryan if he has any kids. Just don’t.

26. Talk of communism is strictly forbidden.

27. Dr S. Lamb has special privileges to talk about things that piss Mr Ryan off.

28. Mr Fontaine and Mr Sinclair, Esq. also have those special privileges.

29.Father Comstock does not have special privileges, everyone is just scared of him.

30. Don’t criticize Mr Cohen’s work unless you value your life.

31. If you get surgery with Dr Steinman, do not criticize his work either. Please don’t.

32. Yes, Mr Sinclair, Esq. had his teeth done with Dr Steinman, don’t ask him about them or he will never shut up.

33. Yes, you can get top surgery done by Dr Steinman. But why would you want to?

34. Please do not talk to Mr Porter. He won’t hurt you, he just likes his peace and knows how to write some very strongly worded letters of displeasure.

35. Don’t ask who designed the Vita Chambers.

36. Don’t ask who created the first plasmids around Mr Ryan and Mr Fontaine.

37. Don’t talk to Mr Fink about bees either.

38. Yes, Dr Suchong is supposed to be here. Yes, he is on the payroll. Yes, everyone is scared of him anyway. Have you seen our bodyguards? And you’re more scared of Suchong?? With Delta around????

39. Ahem. Mr McDonagh is politely asking everyone to stop clogging the toilets. He’s an engineer, not a janitor.

40. Please don’t ask Mr A. Wynand or Mr J. Wynand to hack the Circus of Value vending machines, the food isn’t that expensive.

41. Also don’t ask Mr DeWitt to Possess them either. He will NOT give you the coins, and the food REALLY isn’t THAT expensive.

42. Dr Langford cannot create flowers that don’t set off your hay fever, stop asking her about it.

43. That includes you, Delta.

44. Dr Alexander has requested for people to stop gossiping about his ‘relationship’ with Dr S. Lamb. It’s getting embarrassing at this point.

45. Mr Lin is not going to make you guns to order, not even if you ask for a replica from a video game, Mr A. Wynand.

46. The sniper rifle owned by Mr DeWitt created by Mr Lin is an exception.

47. BioShock Inc has never, at any point in time, and will never, create something called a ‘Portal Gun’, stop asking about it.

48. Yes, Dr Tenenbaum’s ‘Little Ones’ are sea slugs. Yes, we all find it equally creepy. Yes, you can watch her feed them if you ask nicely.

49. Please don’t ask where all the cats came from. No one knows.

50. Enjoy your stay at BioShock Inc and try not to die!

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

You added Augustus Sinclair

You added Jack Wynand, Atlas Wynand and Brigid Tenenbaum

You added Eleanor Lamb

You added Daisy Fitzroy and Elizabeth Anna DeWitt

You added Booker DeWitt

Eleanor Lamb:
Father, you misspelt the group name

Johnny Delta:
goddammit
alright, uh
I’m not remaking the group, it’s just gonna stay like that
Anyway!
Thank you all for joining the official BioShock Inc. groupchat!

Atlas Wynand:
you didn’t exactly give us a choice, Johnny

Johnny Delta:
Well
I thought it will be much easier to coordinate everyone's jobs through WhatsApp
Especially for the three of us and our new security guard, DeWitt

Booker DeWitt:
Ho do I chanje the bakgrond

Atlas Wynand:
why is Sinclair here then?

Johnny Delta:
We needed a manager

Daisy Fitzroy:
Sure we do
It’s totally not because you would miss your bf if he wasn’t on here

Johnny Delta:
>:/

Booker DeWitt:
Ho do I chanje my name

Brigid Tenenbaum:
You change it in your own settings.
Why do you not have autocorrect on.

Booker DeWitt: 
autoccorect?

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Ignore him this is his first phone

Brigid Tenenbaum:
It is 2013.

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
He has a stationary phone at home, he didn’t need a mobile until this group chat

Jack Wynand:
Hey Johnny.

Johnny Delta:
Yeah, Jack?

Jack Wynand:
Why can't we have all our managers on here?

Johnny Delta:
Ryan didn't want to join, Fontaine is rude, Lamb I don't like, and Comstock scares me

Jack Wynand:
oh

Booker DeWitt:
My brohter tends too doo that

Johnny Delta:
You scare me too

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Oh, he's nice enough when you get to know him, Mr Delta
I know you’ve only had a few shifts together so far, but he’s really not that bad

Booker DeWitt:
Thnk u?
Im not efen ofended @ bieng cold scary
I dont haid that im an ashole

Eleanor Lamb:
You shouldn't be offended, Father meant the ‘scares me’ part as a compliment

AS:
I can vouch for that

Atlas:
why is your name ass

AS:
Shut up, Wynand

Jack Wynand:
Which Wynand?

AS:
Which one was I talking to, son?

Jack Wynand:
Sorry, I wasn't paying attention
One of my daughters just threw up :/

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Do you need me to come over, Jackie?

Jack Wynand:
No need, I have some stomach medicine still

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Don’t be afraid to ask if you ever run out
I’m well stocked!
On everything

Jack Wynand:
everything

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Everything
I own so many first aid kits you wouldn’t even believe

Jack Wynand:
No, yeah, I can believe that

Johnny Delta:
Can we go back to coordinating work stuff?

Atlas:
nah

Johnny Delta:
:(

Chapter Text

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt

Booker DeWitt:
pls dont make me

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Mr DeWitt

Booker DeWitt:
Elizabeth
Pls call me Booker
I dont want too feel old

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Fine.
Booker
They are your coworkers, and they asked you to join the chat
Look I will tell you who everyone is so you don't panic and say something dumb, and I will vouch for you if they say anything

Booker DeWitt:
Ok

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
You already met Johnny Delta and Jack Wynand
Tall black guy with the weird scar on his hand
And the tall blond pretty boy with the chain tattoos

Booker DeWitt:
Ye

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
I hope you haven’t offended either of them yet

Booker DeWitt:
Theyr qiet guys, im qiet
We get along fine

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Alright
There is also Atlas Wynand, he is Jack’s friend, he’s the one you heard on the radio
He watches over the cameras
They are not related, Jack was a foster kid who got more or less adopted by Atlas
They’re a bit like brothers

Booker DeWitt:
K

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
He’s short and very Irish, and he can be rude but he means well h
He is very intelligent and very good at public speaking

Booker DeWitt:
Grate

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
There is Brigid Tenenbaum, she is one of the head scientists at the facility, I have met her already
She is unpleasant, a bit like you, but not nearly as murderous

Booker DeWitt:
Oh

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
She is autistic and doesn’t hide that, so she will be rude to your face and will often ignore you
Don’t mind her, really

Booker DeWitt:
K

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Then there is Augustus Sinclair, he is one of the top dogs at the company
He’s in charge of Sinclair Solutions
He will be part of the group chat for monitoring purposes, so behave

Booker DeWitt:
I will

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Our other bosses are Frank Fontaine, in charge of Fontaine Futuristics. Futuristics is in charge of the the Plasmid creation, having taken over from Ryan Industries that now just deals with the security bots
Andrew Ryan is the boss of it all, because BioShock Inc started out as Ryan Industries once before it expanded
Don’t piss him off, he’s the one who agreed to employ you
And you know Comstock

Booker DeWitt:
Elizabeth

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Don’t, Booker
He got you out of prison after everything you did, the least you can do is work for him without complaining

Booker DeWitt:
K

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
You have also met the Luteces

Booker DeWitt:
Ye

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
I don’t have to explain them

Booker DeWitt:
Rather u didnt

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Right
Other names you should know are Jeremiah Fink, working under Comstock
He’s the brain behind drinkable Plasmids, the Vigors
Sofia Lamb, who deals with the psychology part of the Plasmids
She’s under Sinclair even though Solutions makes weapons and munition
There is Charles Milton Porter
He’s a brilliant man who is currently the one in charge of the lesser department of Minerva’s Den, and he made the THinker
I already told you about the Thinker, didn’t I
There is also Gilbert Alexander who is in charge of testing the Plasmids for Fontaine
None of them after Sinclair are in the group chat
also I forgot to tell you
The group chat will also have Eleanor Lamb, the daughter of Sofia Lamb
Don’t piss her off, either, she’s Delta’s daughter too
You don't want both of them mad at you

Booker DeWitt:
K

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
And Daisy Fitzroy will be there, too
She’s in charge of Vigor testing for Fink, she’s brilliant, I like her

Booker DeWitt:
Fitzroy

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Yes

Booker DeWitt:
She was a freind of your mother

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Oh

Booker DeWitt:
She wud babysit u wen i worked

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
k
Don’t piss her off, either, please
I can’t imagine she has a good opinion of you

Booker DeWitt:
Dont think so iether

Chapter Text

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt

Booker DeWitt:
So

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
?

Booker DeWitt:
Explain me this
We have 100s of sceientists
But only 4 security gards
Wat givs

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
BioShock Inc has a very robust security system
The cameras are operated by a machine called The Thinker
The security turrets and the whirly birds are state of the art killing machines
And that's without speaking about the Motorized Guards
Patriots, some call them
You, on the other hand, are a last resort
When all else fails, you're supposed to protect what's most important
That's usually one of the higher ups or a technological prototype
And, of course, you are here to provide a human touch
Nonlethal takedowns, deescalations, getting into places only a human can get into
Does that make sense?

Booker DeWitt:
Yes

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Do you have any other questions, Mr DeWitt?

Booker DeWitt:
Nowing my past
Wy did u vauch for me
Wy here?

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
Comstock asked me too
And although I haven't loved him as a daughter should love her father since I was very young
He is the only family I have
I felt obligated to help him

Booker DeWitt:
Alright

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
You will fit right in at BioShock
Trust me

Booker DeWitt:
I dont trust anyone
Not even myself

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
That's your issue, not mine

Booker DeWitt:
I now

Chapter Text

Zachary Hale Comstock

Zachary Hale Comstock:
How are you settling in, brother
Booker
You can’t avoid me forever
Booker!

Booker DeWitt:
How do i switch u off

Zachary Hale Comstock:
How are you adjusting

Booker DeWitt:
Iv slept thru the night n half the day
Couldnt sleep last night w/out my crows
Thank u for tracking them down for me
Thank u for the aparment
And for the
Saving from jeil thing

Zachary Hale Comstock:
Family helps each other, after all
Even if that family has hurt you and ruined your life
You forgive them, as God intended
But only God can bring you true relief from your sins
Elizabeth does not seem to have grasped that first part quite yet
She does not seem ready to forgive you, and I doubt she will be ready anytime soon

Booker DeWitt:
Why r u lecturing me
Why now
Cant u let me rest
Everything hurts n im tired

Zachary Hale Comstock:
You are acting like you were in prison for years

Booker DeWitt:
I was
3 exactly
Still better then the looney bin

Zachary Hale Comstock:
You have only yourself to blame for that
The fact you are still drinking, probably as we speak, shows that you shouldn’t have been let out

Booker DeWitt:
Ye

Zachary Hale Comstock:
You are very lucky I paid off your debts
You are lucky I paid off Elizabeth’s student debts too, which should have been your role
If you were an actual father to her

Booker DeWitt:
Im going back too sleep
I hope hyperthermia takes me before u decide too lecture me again

Zachary Hale Comstock:
You have no one else but yourself to blame, Booker
Remember this always

Booker DeWitt:
Ill tatoo it on my forhead hows that

Zachary Hale Comstock:
Very funny
Rest, you start your first day at BioShock Inc tomorrow

Booker DeWitt:
Cant wait

Chapter Text

Johnny Delta

Johnny Delta:
EAT BREAKFAST

AS:
I DID

Johnny Delta:
COFFEE AND A CIGARETTE IS NOT BREAKFAST!
You know what
Im ducking out and buying you a muffin and some water
If something happens while Im gone blame Atlas
He owes me a favour

AS:
Johnnyyyyyyy
Deeeeeeee
I'm fine!
Just swamped with work!
Onboarding a parolee is a lengthy process, and Comstock dropped it on me unexpectedly!
This should have been done last month when he first started!
Sometimes I really regret taking law instead of engineering at uni

Johnny Delta:
Exactly!
You’re overworked!
And as the man you love

AS:
Begrudgingly, sport

Johnny Delta:
I'm getting you breakfast
You say it now but you will be thanking me when I bring you teh food

AS:
You're just doing this to fatten me up, chief

Johnny Delta:
Shush
Yes
But shush

AS:
Love you, Johnny

Johnny Delta:
Love you too, Gus

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Booker:
Kis my as sincler

The man with the solution:
Not unless you pay me for it

Protector Supreme:
What.
Did I just walk in on

The man with the solution:
Don't worry about it, Chief

Booker:
Hey delta
Can u tell ur boyfreind im not asasanating any1 for him

Protector Supreme:
Gus. Come on. He's not an assassin, he's a PI

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
He's RETIRED

Booker:
By forse

Elizabeth Anna DeWitt:
By a COURT ORDER AND THE THREAT OF A LIFE SENTENCE

Protector Supreme:
He’s been here for a month, give the man a break

The man with the solution: 
I was just offering him a chance to earn some extra money AND get a commendation!
He might be new here but it’s never too early to start rising up in rank!

Lizzy:
He’s supposed to rise up in ranks by KILLING someone?

The man with the solution:
n
no
…
I see a lack of creativity runs in the family, Miss Elizabeth

Lizzy:
Dr Elizabeth*
ヽ(｀⌒´)ﾉ and it's not my fault I don't know who most of the people here are after everyone changed their names, and decided to go with an easy name
I’ve only been here for two months!
Who even is Paddy Potluck??

Golden Boy:
That's Atlas

Lizzy:
Jack??

Golden Boy:
Yup, it’s me 😊

Lizzy:
Ok…
Why Potluck?

Paddy Potluck:
cause someo e else already took 'power'

Flower Power:
Too slow, shorty

Lizzy:
Daisy not you too 😭 

Paddy Potluck:
come at me, sistah

Flower Power:
Sorry, sugar, I’m FlowerPower on all my socials, it just made sense

Booker: 
I regret bieng aded to this groop chat

The man with the solution:
Group*

Booker:
I now ur my boss but
Shut the fuck up
Im dislexic

The man with the solution:
😁 Really? I thought you were just stupid
Clearly your brother thinks you’re too annoying to deal with, since he has me doing your onboarding

Booker:
Kis my as sincler

The man with the solution:
Not unless you pay me for it

Protector Supreme:
I regret joining this group too.
I'm rolling my eyes at you two

Mother Goose:
Do not roll too hard or your eyes will fall out

Paddy Potluck:
that’s possible?

Mother Goose:
Remind me why I slept with you again

Paddy Potluck:
you slept with Fontaine too, I was the better choice in the end

Eleanor:
EWw
Geta  room

The man with the solution: 
Ela, really?

Eleanor:
What?
Oh, is it about the name?
I agree with Elizabeth, the funny names are funny but they’re confusing
Father, why is your name Protector Supreme?

Protector Supreme:
Because I’m the best thing to come out of the Protector Trails since BioShock’s founding

Mother Goose:
That is true

Protector Supreme:
Thank you!

Eleanor:
Aunt Brigid :/
Don’t encourage him

Booker:
Wiat
Ooooh ur name is MOTHER goose not anather goose

The man with the solution:
You really are dyslexic

Booker:
Man did u think I wos laying??

The man with the solution:
Why are all of our security guards like this

Paddy Potluck:
come on, you love it Sin

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Lizzy:
How old is the food in the vending machines?

Golden Boy:
Why do you ask?

Lizzy: 
…
Sheer curiosity

Paddy Potluck:
no one knows, lass

Flower Power:
Some say it’s been there since the 1910s

Lizzy:
But
BioShock Inc. didn’t exist in the 1910s?

Flower Power:
Exactly

The man with the solution:
It might be older than the earth itself, or at least humanity in its current form

Lizzy:
??

Booker:
Stil edibl

Lizzy:
...Booker

The man with the solution:
…

Mother Goose: 
I am shocked this was first time you go to prison
You are such big disaster

Booker:
Shud I go too medicl?

The man with the solution:
Unfortunately not
You’ll be fine, those creme cakes have a longer expiry date than the queen of England
It’s why they’re so cheap

Lizzy:
Hey, is that ammo next to the doritos?

Protector Supreme:
…

Golden Boy:
…

Paddy Potluck: 
ah shit, she found the guard machine

The man with the solution:
The what

Chapter Text

Booker

Booker:
I nvr rely asked
Wats ur job at bioshock

Lizzy:
Physicist

Booker:
Oh cool

Lizzy:
Ye
I always liked physics
But I couldn't really learn about it
I had to read in secret, because Zachary and the nuns didn't think it was proper for me to learn despite this being 21st century America, and all

Booker:
Oh
Im a hiscool dropout if that helps

Lizzy:
It doesnt

Booker:
Im sorry

Lizzy:
Why would you think that would even help??

Booker:
I dont
Uh
I thout
Look im not good at this empefising thing

Lizzy:
Empathizing?

Booker:
Yes
I thout if u new u werent alone w/ not getting scool done properly ud feel a lil bit better

Lizzy:
…
I don’t want to be comparing myself to you??
Your life is terrible??
I don’t want to end up the same way??

Booker:
Ye that makes sens
Sorry
I uh
Wat if I bot u some text books?

Lizzy:
I already put myself through university
With my uncle’s money
I’m a physicist at one of the best scientific institutions in the world, I help create scientific wonders the likes of which people have never seen before
Why would I want text books?
I’ve read everything there is to read on this subject, by now

Booker:
I cud get u a puppy

Lizzy:
Are you kidding me

Booker:
I now Zachary wud never let u have 1 he hetes dogs
N what kid doesnt want a puppy

Lizzy:
If you show up to work with a puppy, I will get you fired

Booker: 
…
Fine I wont get u a puppy
Sorry

Lizzy:
I didn't say I didn’t want one
Just don’t bring it to work

Booker:
Oh so the problem aint that u dont want ur father getting u a puppy
U just dont want ur coworkers nowing ur father got u a puppy

Lizzy:
Yes
Because I still hate you
But I always really wanted a puppy

Booker:
God damn Elizabeth
Ye ill get u a puppy but I wont do it at work

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Lizzy:
Oh my gosh, guys, look!

I got a puppy!!!!

Paddy Potluck:
aw, sweet wee thing

Golden Boy:
OH MY GOSH, A PUPPY!

Flower Power:
What’s its name, Liz?

Lizzy:
Um
I didn’t get that far

Eleanor:
She’s so cuuuuuuute

Lizzy:
Sunflower

Protector Supreme:
Sunflower?

Lizzy:
Yes
Because I’ve only had her for a few minutes, but she has already tried eating the flowers on my lawn, and she brightened my day
Sunflower

The man with the solution:
That’s a very adorable puppy
This ain't really work related, but a cute puppy is a cute puppy, so I'll let it slide this time

Mother Goose:
Fluffy
She looks very healthy
Very good puppy

Lizzy:
I love my new puppy

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Booker:
Hey uh
I now im just a dum bodygard I dont rely get all the siency stuff
But
Um

The man with the solution:
Spit it out, DeWitt

Booker:
What is this??

Paddy Potluck:
that’s Jeff, clearly

Mother Goose:
That is one of my little ones

Booker:
Wat exactly is ur little one?

Mother Goose:
An ADAM slug

Booker:
Alrit
That
Dont tell me much
Am I bieng prankd?
Is this 1 big prank?
Bcs its april fools?

Lizzy:
WAIT FUCK
I FORGOT TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT ADAM IS
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I told him about the Plasmids and Vigors but not ADMA!
You'r from New York of course you didn’t hear about ADAM yet!
Uuuuuuugh!

Golden Boy:
You didn’t see me throwing a fist full of lightning last week?

Booker:
No??

The man with the solution:
We really need to catch you up to speed!

Booker:
Im scard

Chapter Text

Booker

Paddy Potluck:
bitch go home!

Booker:
Ur not goin home

Paddy Potluck:
i had to stay later to help out Sinny and the grease monkeys in heph
that's different to you sticking around by the columbian welcome centre until midnight!

Booker: 
Im a workoholoc
So?

Paddy Potluck:
every day, since you started working here, i've watched Johnny and Jack clock out together, while you ignored them
every day I've passed the keys to the security cameras to Porter's thinker machine, and clocked out while you're still working!
after hours!
when no one is paying you any more!
don't you have a parole curfew?
a hobby??

Booker:
Im a simple man, Atlas
I work, I go home, I sleep, I wake up, I repeat

Paddy Potluck:
what
why did you
since when

Booker:
I like my routine, Atlas
I like my piece, Atlas
I like to work, Atlas
And part of my work has always been to kill people, Atlas
You know what I don't like?
I do not like mouthy Ireshmen sticking their big, fat noses where they don't belong
And I'd hate for you to stick your nose in the wrong fella's busniss
Capiche?

Paddy Potluck:
...
capiche
i'm sorry about bothering you
i'll go home now
enjoy your shift
i hope you choke on your 'workaholism'

Booker

Paddy Potluck:
where did all of your messages go??

Booker: 
Wat messeges?

Paddy Potluck:
the ones where you
where I
what

Booker:
Did u sleep wel?

Paddy Potluck:
yes!
you!
but!
there was way more between 'im a simple man' and 'capiche'!
you!
how did you delete those messages without it looking like you deleted anything!

Booker:
Wat
Slow done
I dont get wat ur seying
Deleted w/out deleteng??
Atlas did u hit ur hed?
Shud i teke u too the medicl centr?

Paddy Potluck:
no!
no, i'm fine
i'm fine
enjoy your shift, DeWitt

Booker:
Um
U 2
But ill let Jack now u aint feeleng well k?

Paddy Potluck:
sure
whatever
just remember one thing
i do see everything on these cameras
everything

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Protector Supreme:
Can I have a shift by the docks?

The man with the solution:
Course, chief
Can I ask why?

Protector Supreme:
I missed my weekly swim because the pool was closed

The man with the solution:
Yeah I know

Protector Supreme:
And I want to hang out by the water

Booker:
Wat, willingly

Protector Supreme:
...
Yes?

Booker: 
...
Johnny the docks stink

Protector Supreme:
I like the smell of sea water!

Golden Boy:
Honestly me too
It's nostalgic

Booker:
...
Swap with me

Protector Supreme:
what

Booker:
Im at the doks al off nex week
Swap with me

Protector Supreme:
You know what
Sure
I'm set to be in Emporia for Monday and Thursday
And in Persephone Tuesday and Wednesday

Golden Boy:
And Friday we have a shared shift at the opening of the revamped Hall of Heroes

Booker:
I now
I red the shift chart
Emporia and Persephone
Can do
Have fun in naptunes bounty and battleship bay with ur watr

Protector Supreme:
Thanks, DeWitt
I'll appreciate it

Booker:
Booker

Protector Supreme:
Right, Booker, sorry

Chapter Text

Mother Goose

Eleanor:
Aunt Brigid, why do people say you are rude?

Mother Goose:
Because I am blunt and do not care for other people’s emotions

Eleanor:
Oh

Mother Goose:
Why do you ask, Mädchen?

Eleanor:
Because I think you are very nice!

I do not like it when people call you rude >:(

Mother Goose:
I do not mind it, Eleanor
Do not be angry on my behalf

Eleanor:
Do you think people find me rude, too? 🥺

Mother Goose: 
You are very nice, polite young lady
People would be wrong to see you as rude

Eleanor:
People say I am socially inept because I grew up isolated by my mother :C

Mother Goose:
People are wrong
Rudeness comes from not caring what other people feel when you are interacting with them
You are trying to be good and kind, like your father has shown you
Not always knowing how to react to situation is not rudeness
You are learning, Kind

Eleanor:
😊 thank you, Aunt Brigid

Mother Goose:
You are very welcome

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Golden Boy:
Sometimes I really wish I was the second coming of Jesus

Protector Supreme:
Lol 
Why?

Golden Boy:
I hate my dad, I wish I was immaculately conceived

Paddy Potluck:
i'm sure you're not the only one, boyo
right, girls?

Eleanor:
what
No?
I LIKE my father

Lizzy:
Being immaculately conceived would not save me from my family

Booker: 
Ima wat

Golden Boy:
Immaculate conception?
Virgin birth?

Booker: 
I had a samwich for lunch tday

Golden Boy:
I had a pizza roll

Eleanor:
Why are we suddenly talking about food?

Golden Boy:
Because
Food is a better topic than my shit stain of a dad?

Booker: 
Wys there a choclet egg in my locker?

The man with the solution:
Happy Easter?
We all got them

Golden Boy:
Happy motherfucking Easter to everyone but the one mother fucker who fucked my mother

Paddy Potluck:
Ryan REALLY pissed you off today, didn't he?

Golden Boy:
HE GAVE ME AN EGG MADE OUT OF SOAP INSTEAD OF CHOCOLATE

Lizzy:
LMAO WHAT

Eleanor:
OH MY GOD

Flower Power:
Soap????

Mother Goose:
In the words of Suchong: Ryan can go suck egg

Booker: 
wait, Ryan?
ANDREW FUCKING RYAN IS UR DAD??

Golden Boy:
Oh shit I didn't tell you yet?

Booker: 
You
But
What

Lizzy:
You broke him so much you fixed his spelling

Golden Boy:
Ryan is my dad, yeah
Your brother literally runs one third of the company and you're surprised my dad is the big boss?

Booker: 
My brother heted me befor I was even born
If I was the big boss off a company i'd make my kid second in comand

Lizzy:
Thanks?

Golden Boy:
Well, my dad fucking sucks as we've already established
He gave me soap
And lifelong trauma
And immeasurable bloodlust
He's not winning dad of the year award

Paddy Potluck:
more like he's winning worst dad of the year award
and he's up against both DeWitt and Sin in that category

The man with the solution:
excuse you what?

Paddy Potluck:
not parenting your step kid is still bad parenting

The man with the solution:
She's a grown woman??

Paddy Potluck:
being a grown woman doesn't let her set security cameras on fire just because she's mad??

Eleanor:
That was ONE time!

Protector Supreme:
Three times

Eleanor:
That was THREE times
That's barely anything
Booker's broken more elevator buttons than that

Booker: 
No I
Did I?

Golden Boy:
Yes, you did

Booker: 
Oh

Lizzy:
Comstock just told me off for 'indulging' in a chocolate egg
I wish I had burst out of his forehead like Athena out of Zeus' head and that it killed him

Golden Boy:
I can give you my soap egg to throw at him

Flower Power:
Polish the floors in his office with it
You'll still have enough left for Ryan's office

Golden Boy:
That is a great idea!

Flower Power:
Of course it is, I came up with it 😉

Chapter Text

Sinclair deals with the bodyguards

You added Booker

You added Golden Boy and Paddy Potluck

You added Protector Supreme

The man with the solution:
I need this for a function Ryan is organizing. Behave, you three
You too, DeWitt, don’t think I forgot about you

Golden Boy:
We always behave!

Protector Supreme:
No we don't

Paddy Potluck:
we really don’t

The man with the solution:
Look, boys, just tell me why you joined Bioshock Inc. and how it has changed your life

Booker:
I needed mony
Bioshock gave me more mony

The man with the solution:
Booker, come on

Booker:
It’s tru enogh
Ryans steakholders reely want to now that he employd an iliterate parolee as the hed of security in the Columbia department?

The man with the solution:
You got me there, son

Paddy Potluck:
hehe steakholders

The man with the solution:
Jack? Johnny?

Golden Boy:
Atlas made me
Now he's in trouble with Ryan and Fontaine and that's somehow my problem, because one of them is my bio father and the other kidnapped/adopted/bought me and neither of them want me anymore

The man with the solution:
God, I get why Ryan didn’t want to do this himself

Paddy Potluck:
wait what
I didn’t get you in trouble with Ryan and Fontaine!
and I got you this job because you almost killed a guy at your last one!
witha  golf club!

Golden Boy:
Shush

The man with the solution:
Atlas your turn

Paddy Potluck:
I work for BioShock because I owe Frank a favour from our time as political dissidents

The man with the solution:
(big sigh)

Paddy Potluck:
shut up!
you work here cause you have trauma from growing up poor in Panama on your sheep farm!

The man with the solution:
They were goats, Atlas
Johnny!

Protector Supreme:
I stumbled into a job interview after being on death row, because the mother of the daughter I didn’t know I had got out of prison while I was fostering said daughter and decided to frame me for a crime, and now I’m in a custody battle while working with both my daughter and that daughter’s mother

The man with the solution:
Ok... I'm going to ask to ask the women on the team instead

Booker:
Shure like thatll go any better

The man with the solution:
Sure*
and let me have some hope, Booker

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

The man with the solution:
Alright, girls, why did you join BioShock Inc.
Booker, I can see you typing, shut up

Booker:
I forgot too ask wats a funtcion
function*

The man with the solution:
…
I’ll tell you later
Girls?

Lizzy:
Me being here is part of my father's parole conditions
I had to be transferred from the labs in Paris I previously worked in

The man with the solution:
His parole, of course
How did I not know this was part of his parole?

Flower Power:
He didn’t tell you because he doesn’t like you

The man with the solution:
How would you know?
You never talk to him

Flower Power:
It’s pretty obvious, Sin

The man with the solution:
Just continue

Flower Power:
I'm working for BioShock because I like being a scientist, it beats minimum wage any day

Eleanor:
I'm a nepo baby

Protector Supreme:
🤦‍♂️

The man with the solution:
Eleanor, sweetpea, please
And thank you, Daisy, for being the only normal one here

Flower Power:
No worries, Sin

The man with the solution:
Now, Brigid?

Mother Goose:
I was institutionalised as a young girl for the crime of being autistic, and put to work as a scientist since a young age
I am at BioShock because I am a brilliant scientist and Fontaine personally picked me after I was released

The man with the solution:
Dios mio, I have one useful response out of this

Booker:
Hes resolted to spanish were in truble

The man with the solution:
Shut up, DeWitt

Paddy Potluck:
don’t you mean sut up, Sinclair?

Lizzy:
Making fun of a man’s lisp is a low blow
Especially when that man's a convicted murdered who is almost a head taller than you and strong enough to hold a solid metal door open with one hand broken

Paddy Potluck:
…
i’m gonna lock the door to the security office

Eleanor:
Like that will save you

Andrew Ryan

Andrew Ryan:
How are the survey responses coming along, Sinclair?

The man with the solution:
Oh boy, did I get responses for you, Andy

Andrew Ryan:
That doesn't sound good

The man with the solution:
It isn't!
SO!
Our resident parolee has decided to be kind and say that he needed money, instead of being truthful about killing a man
Our resident ex-death row inmate decided to rub it in our faces that Lamb was a bad idea
Abandoned baby one blames it on Atlas
Abandoned baby two blames it on her dad’s parole conditions, which is true, I had a second look at the court documents
Revolutionary potato flavored blames our own Fontaine for it
Revolutionary salad flavored is the only normal one with a response that she likes being a scientist
Nepo baby is a nepo baby
And our resident crazy genius said its because she’s autistic

Andrew Ryan:
Well
All but one of these are useless
Go ask the twins, Porter, Fink, whoever else you can find who isn’t a test subject

The man with the solution:
Haha
Hell no, Andy
Do the rest yourself

Andrew Ryan:
Screw you, Sinclair

The man with the solution:
Johnny already does

Andrew Ryan:
Disgusting

Chapter Text

Booker

Lizzy:
Booker

Booker:
Ye

Lizzy:
Explain something to me

Booker:
Wat

Lizzy:
Write it normally

Booker:
Elizabeth

Lizzy:
I know you’re smarter than that
You're my father, after all
And I know that your dyslexia isn’t that bad because of the letters you sent me when you were in prison
Just because I never answered doesn't mean I didn't receive them
And I know you know what function means because, again, you're not stupid

Booker:
Elizabeth

Lizzy:
Why do you play it up like that

Booker:
Fr 2 resons

Lizzy:
Write normally

Booker:
Fine
For 2 reesons
1. I dont want too take too long righting
Writing*
I have better things to do than care about my spelling
2. If they think Im an illeterate brute they will leave me alone

Lizzy:
You can’t just shirk your duties like that!
If you get fired you will be sitting for life!
I didn't work so hard to get you out of prison for you to get yourself sent back!

Booker:
Not that sort of leving alone!
They will let me doo my job and not bother me
Do*
If they think im stupid they want talk to me and distract me

Lizzy:
That’s still not a good thing

Booker:
Im not here too make freinds

Lizzy:
I know
But you’re not here to make enemies either
It’s bad enough with Comstock

Booker:
It’s just sibling rivalry

Lizzy:
Now you’re antagonizing Sinclair

Booker:
He started it!

Lizzy:
And now I’ve been hearing that you aren’t talking to Jack, Johnny, and Atlas, who are your direct coworkers

Booker:
They were talking about what happened over Easter n I didn’t want too explein too them the fact I found out what Easter was at 15
What am I gonna tell them that I just had a nromal day off?
Christians get wierd about that stuff

Lizzy:
It doesn’t matter what you tell them!
Tell them something
Working with people might be a foreign concept to you, but you can’t push them all away
You are part of a team now
You have to work in that team
Understood, Booker?

Booker:
Understood
You remind me so much off your mother

Lizzy:
Don’t talk to me about my mother

Booker:
soery

Lizzy:
I have to get back to work now
Can you promise me to behave around the others?

Booker:
ye
I promise I'll behave normally around the others

Lizzy:
Thank you
By the way, do you know where Eleanor is?

Booker:
No
Havent seen her today yet
Why do you ask?

Lizzy:
I wanted to ask her out
I'll do it over text if I have to but I'd rather do it in person

Booker:
You what

Chapter Text

Booker

Lizzy:
You have never been in my life before!
How dare you tell me who I can or can't date!

Booker:
Im your father! I should now who youre going out with!

Lizzy:
I'm 22!
You lost custody of me 20 years ago!
You kidnapped me!

Booker:
Im trying Elizabeth!

Lizzy:
Then don't!
When you try you just end up making me feel worse!
You're so lucky I vouched for you for Ryan and the court!
You would've been in for life if I testified otherwise!

Booker:
fine
get your heart broken
my door is alweys open for you

Lizzy:
Fuck you!

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

You added Booker

Golden Boy:
Hey there DeWitt

Booker: 
Hey

Golden Boy:
This is the chat we use to communicate with each other
Elizabeth wanted us to add you in here
In case there’s a situation in another part of the building, and we have to get there quickly, and our coms don’t work, and all that

Booker: 
Ok

Golden Boy:
Usually, though, we just chat here when we’re bored

Paddy Potluck:
we chat shit about our bosses
even Sinclair
it makes Johnny SO mad

Booker: 
Ok

Paddy Potluck:
are you broken or something?

Protector Supreme:
Atlas

Booker: 
No

Paddy Potluck:
what, big man?
look at him!
I’ve had more intellectual conversations with Tindr bots

Golden Boy:
Since when did you switch from Grindr to Tindr

Paddy Potluck:
shut up Jack

Protector Supreme:
DeWitt has been working here for a month

Booker: 
Booker

Protector Supreme:
Sorry, yeah
Booker has only worked here for a month
He doesn’t have to be super talkative right away

Golden Boy:
You couldn’t get a peep out of me the first time I came to my shift

Paddy Potluck:
it was adorable, boyo
you came here with your fluffy hair, cable knit sweater, and didn’t say a word all shift, then tackled a guy to the floor and knocked him out with a solid right hook!
I knew getting you here was a good idea!

Golden Boy:
Hehe
Oh hey, DeWitt

Booker: 
Booker

Golden Boy:
Right right, Booker
I wanted to ask you something

Booker: 
?

Golden Boy:
How old are you?

Booker: 
41

Paddy Potluck:
…
fuck!
how do you look that young??

Protector Supreme:
Jealous, Atty?

Paddy Potluck:
shut up, Johnny!

Golden Boy:
You don’t look so bad for 43, Atlas

Paddy Potluck:
says the guy who looks twenty at 34!
genetically modified 34 but still

Golden Boy:
I look like twenty because I basically am twenty

Paddy Potluck:
with the body age of 34

Golden Boy:
Shut up
Man I can’t believe I’ve already worked for BioShock for 10 years

Protector Supreme:
I’m sure youre a bit confused, Booker

Booker: 
No

Protector Supreme:
We can explaina fter work
Wait what

Paddy Potluck:
the fuck you mean no??

Booker: 
Sorry?

Paddy Potluck:
genetically modified
five year old

Golden Boy:
I’m not fucking five!

Booker: 
Made food

Golden Boy:
Wait you’re not at work?
I thought you were staying late for an evening shift

Booker: 
No

Paddy Potluck:
worse than Tindr bots, I tell you

Protector Supreme:
That steak does look very good
You’re out at a restaurant or something?

Booker: 
First peycheck food

Protector Supreme:
Oh, I remember the first proper food I had after getting out on parole
Even after only three years I can imagine it feels great

Booker: 
Ye

Protector Supreme:
…
Well
Talk to you later

Paddy Potluck:
told you he’s broken

Golden Boy:
Shut up

Chapter Text

Eleanor

Lizzy:
Hey, wanna go out

Eleanor:
Haha

Lizzy:
I'm serious

Eleanor:
REALLY??
With me??

Lizzy:
You're gorgeous

Eleanor:
But we never talked much before

Lizzy:
I grew up in a convent with my reverend uncle, I don't know how to flirt
But I like you
So go out with me

Eleanor:
Yes!
I will!

Lizzy:
Great
Today at 7, then?
I know a place

Eleanor:
YES!

Eleanor

Lizzy:
I'm sorry

Eleanor:
Don't be
The date was still fun

Lizzy:
It would be even more fun if he didn't show up unannounced!
He usually cooks at home!
I had no idea he would crash our date!
He doesn't eat out!
I’m not even sure he’s allowed to eat out with his parole!

Eleanor:
Liz, it's alright

Lizzy:
It's not! He's never been in my life before!
Twenty years!
He was gone for twenty years!
I was so young when my uncle took me in, I didn’t remember him at all!

Eleanor:
Liz, I really don't mind

Lizzy:
He just tries too much and ends up fucking everything up!
I hate him so much!
I don't know why i vouched for him!

Eleanor:
He's better than your uncle

Lizzy:
Right
I was kidnapped twice, but only one of my kidnappers just crashed my date, the other expected me to end up as some gross, elderly man's child bride like a 'good Christian girl'
I can't complain because my uncle is so much worse than my father

Eleanor:
That's not what I meant

Lizzy:
I know
I'm just so mad at him
Twenty years, Eleanor

Eleanor:
I know what you mean
Father wasn't in my life until I was ten, then mother stole me back until I came of age

Lizzy:
Why are we so fucked up, Ela

Eleanor:
I don't know
Fate decided it would build character?
Fate decided only someone with a  similarly horrible past could understand you?

Lizzy:
How did you deal with your feelings about your father?

Eleanor:
By sewing

Lizzy:
What?

Eleanor:
I made a little doll of him, and whenever I was sad, I looked at the doll and wondered what he would do in this situation
And I hugged it and imagined he was still thinking of me
Why did he leave you, Elizabeth?

Lizzy:
My mother died and he had a psychotic break
My uncle took me while Booker was killing himself with alcohol, drugs, and gambling
Some of uncle Zachary's 'friends' called CPS, and got Booker sent to an asylum
Then the custody of me sort of just got passed onto my uncle

Eleanor:
Do you think he still thought of you while institutionalised?

Lizzy:
I don't know
He never tried to look for me after he got released and after the army
That's what my uncle said, at least
And my father was a detective after Afghanistan
He would have known how to search me out

Eleanor:
Or he wouldn't
If he didn't know what he was looking for
He found you three years ago, after all

Lizzy:
Ye
And he got himself incarcerated for stealing me from the convent and killing Songbird

Eleanor:
Songbird?

Lizzy:
The groundskeeper/bodyguard who took care of me when I was younger
He sang nicely, but couldn't actually form words because he lost his tongue
So the nuns called him Songbird

Eleanor:
Your father killed him?

Lizzy:
In self defense
The others think the ‘self defense’ defense is bullshit but I know what happened
Songbird threw him through a window, stabbed him through the hand to pin him down, and tried drowning him in the convent's pond
He took protecting the sisters almost too seriously
It wouldn’t have counted as a kidnapping if Songbird hadn’t gotten involved
Booker broke his ribs while he was flailing around in the water, broke his eye socket, then managed to throw them both into the pond, and drowned Songbird
Then he stole me away
It was counted as 'excessive violence' in court, after he was caught
I still get nightmares of that moment, when they shot him and took him away right before my eyes
I didn't hate him then, I didn't know him at all
All I knew was that he was my way out, and they
They tried to kill him
Because he had killed someone

Eleanor:
That sounds horrible, Elizabeth

Lizzy:
Yeah
It was
After he got caught he was supposed to get parole after five years
But I pulled some strings and he got let out a week before he started working for BioShock Inc
I didn't want to do it at first, but my uncle asked me to
He got the best lawyer he could that wasn't Augustus, and he got Booker out, for what reason I still don't know
Now he's not allowed to go to bars, pubs, and other 'unsavoury' places alone
He's not allowed to own firearms because who knows what he would do with a gun because they took his history as an investigator and soldier into consideration
He's not allowed near religious institutions for obvious reasons
And he has to work at the same department in BioShock as me
And the ankle monitor, he needs to wear that
The only reason he doesn't have a ban on alcohol too is because he completely hid his alcoholism from everyone
He would drink mouthwash and hand sanitiser in prison to avoid withdrawals
He told me that when I went to visit him before I went to France
I'm sorry
I shouldn't be telling you all this

Eleanor:
Father was in prison too
He almost got the death penalty
But Augustus pulled a few strings and brought him to BioShock, much to mother's chagrin
His parole was long, and boring, and I barely saw him at the start of it because of all the restrictions he had to abide by
Mother had been incarcerated before, too
For instigating a political riot
That's when my aunt Grace had to take care of me
She taught me how to do my hair, because my mother never had the time to learn even though she knew my father was black

Lizzy:
We really are both fucked up, huh

Eleanor:
A little

Lizzy:
I think I'm in love with you
sorry

Eleanor:
That’s alright
I think I am, too

Chapter Text

Lizzy

Booker:
Ill giv u 50$ too forget about this
No, 100$

Lizzy:
You crashed my date!
You stalked me!
You can't buy my silence!

Booker:
I didnt!
Why wuold I do that??

Lizzy:
To spy on me????

Booker:
How would I even now were you went??

Lizzy:
You're a detective!
It's your job to know things like that!

Booker:
You sed it yourself Im retired

Lizzy:
So?!

Booker:
I mightvr did a backround check on the girl but I didnt stalk you!

Lizzy:
YOU DID A BACKGROUND CHECK ON ELEANOR?!?!

Booker:
Ye?
I do them on everyone?
Her parents have qite a history

Lizzy:
You're insane!

Booker:
I didnt mean too!

Lizzy:
Didn't mean to do what??
Stalk me or stalk my crush?!?!

Booker:
Crash the date!
And I didnt stalk you!
I just wanted too eat some good food!
My first paycheck came in late!
Elizabeth, pls just take the 100 and forget about this

Lizzy:
I cant just forget about this

Booker:
I love you, even if I did follow you on perpose Id do it to watch out for you and keep you safe

Lizzy:
I don't want you keeping me safe!
You keeping me safe will just look like more bloodshed!
It always does with you!

Booker:
Let me make it up too you

Lizzy:
Make it up to me by leaving me alone!

Chapter Text

Lizzy

Eleanor:
You are so amazing

Lizzy:
Thank you??
What did I do to deserve the compliment?

Eleanor:
I just
I can’t believe you asked me out!

Lizzy:
I wanted to do it, I did it
I like you

Eleanor:
I want to be brave like you, Elizabeth

Lizzy:
You’re plenty brave
I saw you stand up to your mother last week

Eleanor:
Yes, but I still feel shy around people
We were both isolated, but you interact with humans so naturally

Lizzy:
Humans aren’t complex
They are tools, they are machines, they are built up of so many little electrical impulses that drive them every day
I guess I view the world a lot like my uncle and father do
It’s easy to learn what makes a human tick, just the same way you can learn how a weapon or a machine works
And I learn, and I apply what I know to all of my interactions

Eleanor:
But the electrical impulses and chemicals that drive us aren’t set in stone
The endorphins we feel when we are in love do not have inherent meaning, but everyone gives those chemicals their own meaning
We choose whether what we feel is love or something else, and many people choose differently from us
We are so complex!

Lizzy:
I guess we can agree to disagree on this point
Whether we’re simple or complex doesn’t really matter
I just know I want to kiss that cute face of yours until you’re as red as a cherry!

Eleanor:
Liz!
You’re making me blush already

Lizzy:
Good, you adorable thing you
You're really not mad about my father crashing our date?

Eleanor:
I'm really not, I promise
It wasn't a super fancy place
I kinda excepted someone from work to show up there
There are only so many good places to eat out in this city

Lizzy:
Alright
Next time I'm taking you out to a high end restaurant

Eleanor:
Liz!
I don't have anything to wear to something that fancy!

Lizzy:
Then let's go shopping together :D

Eleanor:
I love that idea!

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Eleanor:
Rabbit ears

Paddy Potluck:
yes, rabbits tend to have them

Eleanor:
No
On my desk
Rabbit ears

Flower Power:
Pfft

The headband?

Eleanor:
Easter was 4 days ago

Lizzy:
We thought you could use a change of wardrobe, Ela 😘

Eleanor:
>:/
What's wrong with my black headband?
It keeps my hair out of my face at work
And it matches every outfit I have

Lizzy:
But the rabbit ears are cute 😘

Eleanor:
Googly eyes??

The man with the solution:
Hehe

Eleanor:
In my lunch box??
A rainbow, really?

Golden Boy:
😁

Eleanor:
What am I going to do with all these headbands??

Flower Power:
Wear them 😉

Eleanor:
I’m cutting my hair -_-

Lizzy:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

Paddy Potluck:
I’m such a good bodyguard
I’m so smart and handsome and everyone loves me
I piss Ryan off so well, it’s practically a talent
I’m clearly a better bodyguard than you lot!

Booker:
Mhm
U r

Paddy Potluck:
wot

Golden Boy:
HAHA!
That shut him up!

Booker:
M confused

Paddy Potluck:
so am I

Protector Supreme:
Usually when Atlas starts boasting he’s just being sarcastic and playing around
Sometimes he’s looking for a playful argument
Usually he’s just telling us he’s done something good but ina  funny, exaggerated way

Booker:
Oh

Paddy Potluck:
you
you were totally agreeing with me that I’m handsome and smart and awesome!

Booker:
Dunno
R u smartr then me?
Ye
Handsmer?
Ye, proly that too u seen my scard up mug?
Better at security?
Everything xept fiting I bet
Good at pising ryan off?
I can beleive it
Lovd by every1?
Eh
U cant be rite 100% off the time

Paddy Potluck:
you know, this isn’t actually fun when you self deprecate
one of you was supposed to say ‘no, Atlas, you’re a piece of shit, I’m totally better’

Golden Boy:
You have VERY bad self esteem

Booker:
…
Haha, Atlas ur a peice of shit m totly a better bodygard

Protector Supreme:
Too late for that

Booker:
Ill buy u all lunch for the nex week if u forget abut this

Chapter Text

Protector Supreme

Protector Supreme:
I'm thinking of letting my hair grow out

The man with the solution:
Darling have mercy on me!

Protector Supreme:
Haha what
August come on

The man with the solution:
I can't let you do that!
You'll just distract me constantly
Ill never get anything done!

Protector Supreme:
I'm thinking cornrows

The man with the solution:
Dee!

Protector Supreme:
Or maybe an afro

The man with the solution:
Johnny!
Mercy!

Protector Supreme:
Haha
I have to ask Daisy where she gets her hair done

The man with the solution:
I'm not gonna survive this

Protector Supreme:
Oh come on
It's just hair

The man with the solution:
It's not just hair
It's your hair
And I am very attracted to you, sport

Protector Supreme:
Haha
I love you too, Gus

The man with the solution:
Can you do waves?

Protector Supreme:
God no
I don't have the patience for that
I'm gonna go for something protective and low maintenance
This job is demanding enough, and I keep getting grease and water and other
Gross stuff
All over me whenever I work in the Bay, or the Bounty, or Hephaestus

The man with the solution:
Fair enough, chief
What inspired this, by the way

Protector Supreme:
Booker was doing his hair up in the security guard locker room and I got inspired
He got mad at the ponytail he had so he did a braid instead
And I had a light bulb moment

The man with the solution:
Fair enough
I’ll await my new distraction with open arms

Protector Supreme:
Haha, August, stop!

The man with the solution:
Love you, chief

Protector Supreme:
Love you too, Gus!

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

Paddy Potluck:
hey is anyone close to Persephone

Booker:
me

Paddy Potluck:
can you head over in the next ten mins?
there's a fight brewing
the prison guards are a bunch of incompetent idiots, so it's best if one of us heads over

Protector Supreme:
'Us'
Like you ever do anything besides sit in your security booth

Paddy Potluck:
shut up, Johnny

Booker:
Wy do we have a prison heer eny way

Paddy Potluck:
we're a temp holding jail
for transfers between other prisons in the state

Booker:
…
Wy

Paddy Potluck:
bioShock is just that big
it basically spans half of the city of Rapture
and half of the sky space of rapture too
when you factor in columbia and all the skyscrapers that are a part of that
hey, DeWitt, where did you go?
what did Fontaine want?
DeWitt?
ugh
Booker?
hey, Booker, answer me!
asshole

Booker:
⛲ didnt want nothing

Paddy Potluck:
where did you go?

Booker:
Delt with the prisoners wy

Paddy Potluck:
I couldnt see you on the cameras!

Booker:
Get ur eyes cheked then

Paddy Potluck:
i’ll repeat
asshole

Golden Boy:
Atlas stop swearing in the chat

Paddy Potluck:
sorry Jack

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

Paddy Potluck:
you have to stop disappearing, DeWitt

Booker:
U hav too stop stolking me, wynand

Golden Boy:
Atlas, stop spying on him

Paddy Potluck:
hey it's my job to spy on you lot
and its my job to figure out where all my blind spots are, like Booker is demonstrating right now
level 3 of the weapons factory in Solutions has three blind spots, but I can't see them properly cause Booker disappears like a houdini!

Protector Supreme:
Why are you hiding in the weapons factory?

Booker:
I jus foned a spot too look at the entiyr factry from!
Its part of my job

PPaddy Potluck:
and that includes hiding from me how?

Booker:
M not hiding!

Golden Boy:
You are

Booker:
No m not

Golden Boy:
You are, I cant see you
Why were you hiding behind that pillar, thats not a good spot to look out at the whole factory from!

Paddy Potluck:
DeWitt you better not be stealing anything!

Booker:
Jeses fuck
I was smoking!
Didnt want too blow shit up so i turnd away too not drop ash on enything!

Golden Boy:
We have smoke breaks for that!

Booker:
I needed a smoke rite now leve me be!

Paddy Potluck:
jeez, sorry
why do you have feathers in your sleeves?

Booker:
Wos at the order erleer

Paddy Potluck:
alright...

Booker:
Now piss off

Chapter Text

The Twins

Booker:
Was that supposed too happen?
Was they supposed too shove a tube down my throat to force the vigor into me
I had too steal someones gloves too hide the claws and feathers

Lutece M:
No, that was unnecessary.

Booker:
God fucking dammit

Lutece F:
Unless you fought back, of course.

Booker:
They didnt give me a chance
My throat hurts
My birds seem
More afecttionate
They
What did Fonteine do too me??
I didn’t have this many birds!!
Robert, Rosalind!
What is happening to my body??

Lutece M:
Fontaine gave you a Vigor, but you know that already.

Lutece F:
The specific one you are currently in possession of is dubbed Murder of Crows.

Lutece M:
It gives you control over members of the corvidae order of birds, as you no doubt can see.

Lutece F:
And it allows you to summon new crows, in the same way as the Insect Swarm Plasmid does.

Booker:
I’m
I’m no longer human right

Lutece M:
As far as we are aware, you are still very much human.

Lutece F:
You are simply improved.

Lutece M:
If you come to us tomorrow, we will provide you with something we call Shield Infusion.

Lutece F:
We will not force you to drink it, however.

Lutece M:
Unlike Fontaine and Fink.

Lutece F:
Just do not let Fink know about the Infusion.

Lutece M:
It is a personal project of ours that we do not want that talentless hack finding out about.

Booker:
I
I shoudnt tell my parole offiser about this right

Lutece F:
We highly advise against it.

Lutece M:
At least for now.

Booker:
Of course, ye
Thanks you two
I'd be completly lost at this job without you
What with Elizabeth giving me the bare minemum time of day
Thanks

Lutece F:
You are very welcome, Booker.

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Booker:

Lizzy:
Booker, what is this????

Booker:
FUCK
Didnt meen too send that!
Fuck!

Flower Power:
Oh my god DeWitt
You’re not even that old why are you taking pictures like a sixty year old

Booker:
I dunno!
I was looking for a app on this damn thing n I dunno wat I cliked!
N it just sent the pikchur!
Ho do I deleet it!

Lizzy:
Hold your finger on the picture and it should show you a menu
And please hurry, no one wants to looka t your nose hairs

Paddy Potluck:
why did Booker just throw his phone at the wall and what message did he just delete?

Flower Power:
He sent us a surprisingly flattering picture of himself he accidentally took at a really low angle

Lizzy:
Daisy!

Flower Power:
You know, the classic ‘dad’s first phone’ photo all old men seem to take

Paddy Potluck:
HA!

Protector Supreme:
Booker, oh buddy

Booker:
Wy r fons so hard too use

Flower Power:
You baffle me, Booker
You know how to fly a zeppelin but you don’t know how to work your phone?

Lizzy:
Booker knows how to fly a zeppelin??

Booker:
☹️
Zeppelins aint hard
Phones r

Lizzy:
Booker, why did you just call us

Booker:
I think I browk my phone 😭

Lizzy:
Why did you throw it then??

Booker:
Bcs I went too the camera app egen acsidently
N I panicked

Lizzy:
You can fly a zeppelin but not work your phone
You can calculate the exact wind resistance in an area in seconds for the perfect sniper shot but you can’t work your phone!
What are you??
And in that regard, what am I, because clearly I can’t be related to you

Booker:
Sorry…

The man with the solution:
It’s a shame we can’t mute specific people in a chat, you have to mute the entire chat if you want peace from random butt dials and accidental selfies

Booker:
☹️
I didnt now that buttn was for vidio calls
Ho was I suppusd too now??

Lizzy:
🤦
Just don't worry about it now
God, I’ll see if I can find you a course for learning how to use your phone

Flower Power:
At least the picture was kind of cute

Lizzy:
Daisy
Daisy, no

Chapter Text

Booker

Booker:
Wynand give it too me streit

Golden Boy:
Sorry, I can’t, I’m gay

Booker:
…
Asshole

Golden Boy:
😁
Sory, what do you need

Booker:
I need u too tell me what wud u kindly means

Golden Boy:
Were
Where did you hear that?

Booker:
Atlas told me
He told me too ask u for something leik a candy bar n use wud u kindly wen asking
Wat does it mean?
R u pranking me egen?
April fools was 2 weeks ago!

Golden Boy:
Its
A code phrase
Do you know what brainwashing is?

Booker:
Uh
Ye?

Golden Boy:
Do you know what programming is?

Booker:
In the contexst of brainwashing?
h sorta
From moovies n stuff but
Not rely my cup a tea

Golden Boy:
Well
Would you kindly is a code phrase I was ‘programmed’ to respond to through a chemical brainwashing process using ADAM

Booker:
…
Forget I asked

Golden Boy:
I’m serious!

Booker:
Ur pranking me

Golden Boy:
No!
You believed in the artificial aging but not the brainwashing??

Booker:
Wy wud u be brainwashed with a stupid frase like wud u kindly??

Golden Boy:
Because it’s supposed to be a normal phrase you might hear in daily life??
So no one suspects it??

Booker:
Who in there rigt mind uses wud u kindly in daily life????

Golden Boy:
I don’t know I didn’t come up with the phrase?????????

Booker:
Im just soposed too beeilve u??????????

Golden Boy:
…
You don’t have to believe me
And most of the brainwashing got undone anyway so…
I can’t even have you test it

Booker:
Wud u kindly stop w/ the pranks then??

Golden Boy:
ok

Booker:
Oh
Thnks

Golden Boy:
You’re… welcome…

Booker:
Wy did... u rite it... wierdly...

Golden Boy:
Because it's still really hard to say no even after the programming was undone 😭

Booker:
...
Im gonna
Ill go now
Back too work k?
U just
Do
Wat ever u were doing
Bye

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

Booker:
@Paddy Power were are the bee hives

Golden Boy:
Wrong name
Isn't Paddy Power a casino??

Booker:
Fuck
dunno
@Paddy Potluck were r the bee hives

Paddy Potluck:
??
what do you need bess for?
you’re down at the labs?

Booker:
1 off the PhDs burnd himself w/a bunsen burner
They used up all the burn creem in thier first aeid
Need honey

Paddy Potluck:
for a burn?

Booker:
Its mild
Honey helps its antibaktereial

Paddy Potluck:
… smart

Booker:
Thanks
You lern a lot of weird stuff in the army and in pi work

Paddy Potluck:
oh I bet
I know quite the number of weird facts from being a professional political menace

Booker:
Nice
Enything usful right now?

Paddy Potluck:
nah I think you've got it all handled
unfortunately, the pavilion is closer than the hives
so I recommend going there instead

Booker:
Ah
Shit
If u heer screaming dont worry
Its just me carrying a stubborn PhD like a sack of potatos too medical

Paddy Potluck:
👍
don't rough them up too badly
or they'll complain to Fontaine

Booker:
Ugh
Fuck that guy

Paddy Potluck:
that we can agree on!

Chapter Text

BioShock Bodyguard Group Chat

Booker:
Jack were r u going

Golden Boy:
Basement

Booker:
Jack wat is that?

Golden Boy:
What is what?

Booker:
Walking diving sut

Golden Boy:
How do you...

Booker:
Atlas went too piss n told me too watch the camras for a bit

Golden Boy:
Ok...
That's a Big Daddy
They're prototypes of the motorized patriots before BioShock went 100% machine for them
But they were decommissioned because people didn't want former death row inmates guarding their homes
Johnny used to be one

Booker:
Oh
They hit pretty hard, huh?

Golden Boy:
Go to hell, Booker

Booker:
...
Were do u think I am?
Run aro him n use electrobolt

Golden Boy:
I shouldn't be killing Ryan and Fontaine's failed experiments they cant be bothered to deal with!

Booker:
I can help u with the next one
Got pretty good at subdyuing handymen reecently

Golden Boy:
I wouldnt mind your help, actually

Booker:
Ill do it if u stop staring at my ass

Golden Boy:
damn

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Paddy Potluck:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SIN, GIVE KITTY BACK!

Booker:
wat

Paddy Potluck:
GIVE HER BACK, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL!

The man with the solution:
She is, that's true
But I'm keeping her until your shift finishes

Golden Boy:
Oh no, did Atlas take in that gremlin that loiters around the security office?

Paddy Potluck:
Kitty isn't a gremlin!
she's just fuzzy!

Eleanor:
She's a little bi ugly

Paddy Potluck:
nooooooooooooooooooooo!

Golden Boy:
she doesn't have a nose!

Paddy Potluck:
she does! It's just smooshed down!

Booker:
Wy
Do u hav a cat at work

Golden Boy:
BioShock is full of cats
No one knows how they got here, no one can make them leave, they're just here

Booker:
Oh so iys like the pigens in Columbia

The man with the solution:
There are pigeons in Columbia?

Booker:
There are pigeons in Columbia

Flower Power:
So many pigeons

The man with the solution:
what

Paddy Potluck:
GIVE ME KITTY BACK!

The man with the solution:
NO! NOT UJTIL YOUR SHIFT ENDS!
THEN YOU CAN TAKE THAT LITTLE MONSTER HOME!

Protector Supreme:
You’re not getting kitty back

Paddy Potluck:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Protector Supreme:
August loves her too much

The man with the solution:
Dee!

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Booker:
Whos the tall blond who just tolked too me in solutions

Golden Boy:
Im a tall blond but I wasn't in Solutions

Booker:
:facepalm emoji: i wud now if it was u!

Eleanor:
Tall blond
Solutions
Oh god, did you meet my mother?!

Booker:
Ur mother flirted with me?

Eleanor:
OH THANK GOD, YOU DIDN'T MEET MY MOTHER!

Lizzy:
Tall blond, Solutions, flirty
Was she a scientist?

Booker:
Dont think so
Seemed more like a gest
Wudnt expect a scientest to were heals THAT tall

Golden Boy:
...

Booker:
N she sed she was meeting w/Ryan but had sum extra time on her hands if i wantd 'a show'

Golden Boy:
YOU MET MY MOTHER?!?!

Eleanor:
HA!

Booker:
oh uh
Hmm
No
Wait
I see the resembelence

The man with the solution:
Hold on
Jasmine still visits Andy?
Despite him reconciling with Diane??
I may cheat when I gamble but that's too far even for me!
Diane gave him a hundredth chance and he's still seeing Jasmine!

Golden Boy:
I fucking hate my family

Booker:
I feel gross now...

The man with the solution:
Don't be, Jasmine ain't actually dating Ryan
She's a show girl
Just doing her job

Booker:
K so I didnt just almost help a homewrekcer homerwekc, good too now

Lizzy:
You actually considered taking her up on her offer?

Booker:
Not even for a second
Wudnt even hav the money too spare

Golden Boy:
Please do NOT do ANYTHING with my MOTHER

Booker:
I wasnt PLANINg too do ANYTHING W/ ur MOTHER

Flower Power:
What you don't like blonds, Booker?

Booker:
wat

Paddy Potluck:
OH MY GOD JOLENE IS HERE??

Golden Boy:
Uuuuuugh
Shut up, Atlas!

Chapter Text

Lizzy

Lizzy:
You didn't have to get me a gift

Booker:
I wanted too

Lizzy:
I don't want you to
Especially after my date
I don’t want you to try to make up for that

Booker:
U dont have too keep it u now
U can sell it or give it away
Hell
You dont even have to open it
Just take it home
Please

Lizzy:
You don't even know what I like!
You never listen to me!
I'll open it
Because I don't know what went through your head when you bought this, whatever it is, so I can't risk giving it away without checking
But I am so mad at you
So mad

Booker:
I get it

Lizzy:
You're not getting any of the cupcakes I brought in today

Booker:
I have my own cake
Couldnt be botherd too make lunch, just bought a slice at walmart

Lizzy:
I hope you enjoy your cardboard cake

Booker:
Enjoy your cupcakes, Elizabeth

The man with the solution

The man with the solution: 
Hey, birthday boy

Booker:
??
Hoo told u??

The man with the solution: 
Your parole records!
Sorry, I'm just a lil nosy, son

Booker:
Wy r u teling me this?

The man with the solution: 
Just wondering if you have any plans after work

Booker:
Going hom n geting shit faced off cheep wiskee

The man with the solution: 
You're not going to the dinner?

Booker:
Wat dinner?

The man with the solution: 
The one Elizabeth is planning
Thought she's doing it for you?

Booker:
No?
She dont like me wy wud she do it for me?

The man with the solution: 
Because it’s your birthday?

Booker:
Its her bday tday too

The man with the solution: 
Aw
You share a birthday with your daughter?
Your wife gave you a little birthday gift?
That's absolutely adorable, son!

Booker:
Sure

The man with the solution: 
Wait why ain't you going to the dinner then?

Booker:
Proly bcs last tims Elizabeth had dinner w/some1 I aciddentely ended up crashing her date

The man with the solution: 
Oh
Yeah, that'll do it

Booker:
Hav fun @ the dinner

The man with the solution: 
Who said I'm going?

Booker:
Ur the stepfather of her new gf
N she likes u
N i can tel from the way u text
Ur not hoping to wallow in sherd mysery
U are exsited for the dinner

The man with the solution: 
Nothing gets passed you, huh

Booker:
No

The man with the solution: 
Take care, Booker

Lizzy

Lizzy:
How did you know
Who told you

Booker:
Lucky guess
After all
I don't listen too u

Lizzy:
Winsor & Newton are some of the best acrylic paints around!
This couldn't have been cheap
Especially with the box

Booker:
Does it matter

Lizzy:
It matters to me!
You can't buy back my forgiveness!
You can’t buy back my love!

Booker:
Dont want too
Dont need too

Lizzy:
Booker

Booker:
I dont need ur love nor ur forgiveness
I just want too make u happy
Painting makes u happy
So I got u paints
Not being around me makes u happy
So I stayed in Finkton all day
Thats all I need
For you too be happy

Lizzy:
You're cruel

Booker:
People say that a lot

Lizzy:
You can't spoil me with expensive stuff and then act like you don't want anything out of it!

Booker:
Sorry

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Golden Boy:
Hey, does anyone know whose box of paints is this in the break room?

Flower Power:
Leave it, Jack, someone will come for it

Golden Boy:
I found it in the trash, though

Lizzy:
You can have them, Jackie
If they were thrown out, they're free!

The man with the solution: 
I like free stuff

Golden Boy:
...
Alright, I'll keep them!
I've never used acrylics before, might be a fun challenge

Protector Supreme:
Hey, has anyone seen Booker?

Lizzy:
Wasn't he in Finkton all day?

Protector Supreme:
Cant find him, we were supposed to go to Hephaestus together, but now he's not responding
Atlas?

Paddy Potluck:
I saw him go to the lockers around the time Jack found those paints

Protector Supreme:
which lockers

Paddy Potluck:
guard ones, near Arcadia, with the showers

Protector Supreme:
damn
I hate going to Arcadia, it always sets off my hay fever
I don't want to be sneezing my ass off during dinner!

Flower Power:
I guess you'll have to go to Heph without him

Protector Supreme:
damn
Alright, then
@Booker you're an asshole, why were you taking a shower BEFORE we're going to the grease tanks!
Idiot!

Start typing: inso sorty i cant gio i cant stpp c

Chapter Text

The Twins

Booker:
Can we talk

Lutece F:
Shouldn’t you be spending time with your daughter.

Lutece M:
It is her birthday.

Booker:
She dont want me
I hid in the showrs too c
Think
I feel sick u 2

Lutece F:
Hmm.

Lutece M:
We could talk to Comstock.

Lutece F:
Have him release you early.

Lutece M:
And then we suggest you go home and sleep.

Lutece F:
Then get ready for the dinner party.

Booker:
I wasnt invited
She dont want me ruining her day
I cant blame her

Lutece M:
Are you planning to drink, then?

Booker:
Ye
Probly
Again
I now u 2 hav been trying too get me to stop for yesrs
But its the only thing that makes me happy anymore

Lutece F:
Does it really make you happy, Booker?

Lutece M:
Or do the chemical processes related to intoxication make you feel ‘giddy’ for a few hours?

Booker:
Probly the 2nd 1
Sorry u 2
Ill see u tomorrow

Chapter Text

Eleanor

Eleanor:
Are you getting ready, Liz?

Lizzy:
Yes
Why wouldn’t I be?

Eleanor:
I was just curious
If maybe
You could send me some pics

Lizzy:
Oh, Eleanor!
And here you were telling me you were shy!

Eleanor:
It may be your birthday
But I want to enjoy my time celebrating the birthday girl
If you know what I mean

Lizzy:
You’re coming back to mine, then?

Eleanor:
If you’ll have me

Lizzy:
Always
Just remind me to put Sunflower in her doggy crate for the night before we do anything

Eleanor:
Got it
By the way who else is coming

Lizzy:
Well, I invited your dads, which I’m sure you know about
I wanted to invite Jack, and that ended up with me inviting Atlas and Brigid too
Brigid declined though
I asked Daisy and she agreed too
I asked my uncle and he declined thank god
My uncle never liked birthday parties
Religion and all

Eleanor:
You didn’t invite your father?

Lizzy:
No, why would I invite him
He crashed our date

Eleanor:
He apologised

Lizzy:
He still crashed it
Who knows what he will do this time round

Eleanor:
Enjoy the food?

Lizzy:
I’m mad at him, Eleanor
I’m not asking him to the dinner

Eleanor:
Are you mad because he got you those paints?

Lizzy:
…
I shouldn’t be so surprised that you figured that out

Eleanor:
They are nice paints

Lizzy:
Expensive paints
He’s trying to buy back my love

Eleanor:
Is he?
Is he looking for love
Or for forgiveness?

Lizzy:
Either way, I’m not giving it to him
I told him that already
I don’t want him in my life

Eleanor:
You don’t, huh
It’s foul luck that forced you to work at the same company as him

Lizzy:
It is
It’s foul luck
I’m almost done with my makeup, do you still want those pictures?

Eleanor:
Yes please

Chapter Text

Booker

Lizzy:
Why did you come into work drunk

Booker:
resons

Lizzy:
Is one of those reasons because you're trying to piss me off?
Are you punishing me for throwing out your gift??
Are you trying to undo the work I did to get you on parole????

Booker:
dont act like u wudnt be hapier if i went back too jeil

Lizzy:
That's irrelevant!
Why are you drunk!

Booker:
bout lots of wisky yesterday
drank n drank
n drank
n at some point
the sun came up
so i finishd the last bottle
n went too work

Lizzy:
You didn't sleep??
At all??

Booker:
no

Lizzy:
After how many bottles??

Booker:
lost count

Lizzy:
I'm finding where you are and taking you to the Medical Pavilion
Right now

Booker:
no

Lizzy:
The fuck do you mean no!
You're drunk!
You drank alcohol all night!
You're going to crash and break something!

Booker:
im @ the Order
helping tend to the crows
ill be fine

Lizzy:
You idiot!

Protector Supreme

Protector Supreme:
And I just found him like that
Sleeping

Lizzy:
Idiot!

Protector Supreme:
Sorry?

Lizzy:
Not you, Mr Delta!
Booker!
he
He didn't sleep well last night
I told him to go to the Medical Pavilion for a nap but he wouldn't listen
He's an idiot

Protector Supreme:
Aha
And the smell of alcohol clinging to him has nothing to do with it?

Lizzy:
...

Protector Supreme:
I know you're mad at him, sweetheart
I know you're struggling to come to terms with what happened
I know you're struggling

Lizzy:
Which is all the more reason I should snitch on him

Protector Supreme:
But you don't want to

Lizzy:
He got me those paints
I checked online, that box costs almost 100$
He bought me an expensive gift for our shared birthday, without wanting anything in return, then spent his birthday alone, drinking all night
I hate him
But I get him
He hates himself, too
And I hate myself
Is it too late to get those paints back from Jack?

Protector Supreme:
I don't think it is

Lizzy:
Thank you
Please don’t tell him

Protector Supreme:
My lips are sealed

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Mother Goose:
Why are we working on Saturday

The man with the solution:
Posterity

Mother Goose:
You are not funny

Protector Supreme:
New product drop

Mother Goose:
Which is months away

Protector Supreme:
Ryan blackmailed August to get us all into work

The man with the solution:
Dee!
He didn't blackmail me for the record
He paid me

Paddy Potluck:
and you fell for it

The man with the solution:
😞 I fell for it

Golden Boy:
Great, Booker is taking a nap and we're forced to work

Lizzy:
I'll wake him up soon, don't worry

Golden Boy:
Why is he even sleeping right now?

Protector Supreme:
He stayed up all night celebrating Lizzy's birthday

Golden Boy:
By himself?

Protector Supreme:
🤷🏿‍♂️

Golden Boy:
O... K...

The man with the solution:
Anyway, het to work everyone!

Flower Power:
Can we gay to work instead?

The man with the solution:
If you really must

Lizzy:
Hey, Jack, do you still have those paints from yesterday?

Golden Boy:
Yes, do you want them?

Lizzy:
Oh, uh

Golden Boy:
I haven't open them yet, but I'm not really a painter

Lizzy:
Yeah
Sure

Golden Boy:
I'll bring them to work on Monday

Lizzy:
Thanks

Chapter Text

Paddy Potluck

Golden Boy:
ohmygod atlas shiut UPPPPPPPP

Paddy Potluck:
rude

Golden Boy:
I’m trying to watch a YouTube tutorial, stop calling meeeeeeeee

Paddy Potluck:
why are you randomly watching tutorials on a Sunday morning??

Golden Boy:
My kitchen sink broke, I’m trying to fix it!
Fontaine didn’t programme with plumbing knowledge!

Paddy Potluck:
oh god
hold on there boyo
I’ll be there soon
I’ll help you out

Golden Boy:
No thank you, I can do it myself

Paddy Potluck:
no
you can’t
you’re very smart, Jack
but you’re also a very lovable idiot
who hasn’t yet learned that YouTube tutorials aren’t the be all end all of DIY
I’m coming to you to fix your sink, and when I get there it better not to taken apart!

Golden Boy:
🙄 
Fine
I’ll wait for you
I’ll make you some breakfast

Paddy Potluck:
thanks, Jackie

Chapter Text

Lizzy

Lizzy:
Elaaaaaaa

Eleanor:
Liiiiiiiiiiiiz

Lizzy:
Good morning, gorgeous

Eleanor:
Aw, Elizabeth!
Good morning to you too

Lizzy:
Do you want to go out for coffee?
A little post-birthday celebration
Just the two of us 😉

Eleanor:
You know just how to get me interested!

Lizzy:
I will see you in an hour, then

Eleanor:
Can I come pick you up?

Lizzy:
Uh, sure
Your house is closer, though

Eleanor:
Yeah, but I really like your house
Your uncle got you a really nice place

Lizzy:
The place is mine

Eleanor:
I know

Lizzy:
No, I mean
I bought it

Eleanor:
...
You bought it??

Lizzy:
Yup

Eleanor:
But you're 23!
I'm 20 and I'm still living with my father!

Lizzy:
I had help

Eleanor:
Really?

Lizzy:
Yup
My uncle paid for my college
And the money for the house came from my child trust fund

Eleanor:
You had a child trust fund?

Lizzy:
My father set one up for me
I didn't tell my uncle about it, otherwise he would have made me use it for college
Before Booker was caught by the police he told me how to access it
I had to change my name legally from Elizabeth Comstock to Anna DeWitt to be able to access it, but I got it in the end
He put most of his savings into the fund, so I had enough to buy a house when I left France

Eleanor:
Your name wasn't originally Elizabeth?

Lizzy:
Ha, no
It was Anna Bethany DeWitt
I only changed it to Elizabeth Anna DeWitt to get access to the trust fund
But I've been Elizabeth all my life so I go by that

Eleanor:
Huh
I wonder why I don't have a second name

Lizzy:
Maybe ask your dad?

Eleanor:
I will have to do that
Wait, is your second name being Bethany the reason you're Elizabeth now?

Lizzy:
Pretty much, yeah
My grandmother on my mother's side was a Bethany
And my mother was an Annabelle hence why I was an Anna

Eleanor:
Your father and your uncle are SO bad at names

Lizzy:
🤣 they aaaaare

Eleanor:
Where did the Eliza part come from, then?

Lizzy:
🤷
I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be my father's name if he ended up being a girl
At least that's sort of what I gathered from looking stuff up about his side of the family

Eleanor:
Oh so youre uncle did it to piss your father off

Lizzy:
Pretty much, yes

Eleanor:
Why do they hate each other so much?

Lizzy:
No clue
Anyway
Get ready, I'll be waiting for you

Eleanor:
😘
I'll be there soon, Elizabeth!

Chapter Text

Oficial BioShock Inc. groupchat

Flower Power:
Is anyone doing anything today?
I was thinking of going to watch a movie and I’m willing to buy anyone who wants to go with me the tickets

Protector Supreme:
I’m sleeping in and ignoring my family

The man with the solution:
He says that, despite the fact I have to pee and he hasn't let go of me for the past TWO HOURS

Protector Supreme:
See? I’m sleeping in and ignoring my family

Flower Power:
Suffer, Sin

Mother Goose:
That is what you get for making us work on weekends

The man with the solution: 
I regret nothing!
Alright, hell, I regret everything one of you tell Johnny to let me go!
My bladder can't take much more!

Flower Power:
What do we get out of this?

The man with the solution:
A raise?

Flower Power:
Hmm, a good offer

Mother Goose:
I want a bigger office
And a bigger tank

The man with the solution:
Deal!

Chapter Text

Flower Power is calling

Johnny: Why did you call me, did you really have to do that?

Brigid: Sinclair asked.

Daisy: Sinclair asked very [nicely.]

Augustus: [Sinclair] was desperate. But I am a man of my word, so Daisy will get a raise, and Brigid will get a bigger office (.) As a thank you for saving my bladder.

Johnny: Wake me up when something interesting [happens.]

Eleanor: [Father,] I am going out!

Johnny: Guess I’m awake now. That’s nice, Eleanor, but at this hour? Where are you going?

Eleanor: On a date!

Daisy: Have fun, Eleanor!

Eleanor: Thank you, Daisy! Why are you calling us?

Daisy: [Reasons.]

Atlas: [Oi, why] are you lot doing a Voice Call at this hour?

Augustus: Reasons (.) What are those noises in the background?

Atlas: I'm teaching Jack how to be a plumber.

Jack: And he's doing a piss poor job at it!

Atlas: What? (.) No I'm not! It's almost [fixed!]

Elizabeth: [Why is] everyone on call right now?

Eleanor: Hi, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Morning, love! No, but seriously. Why are we on a call?

Daisy: We were on a mission.

Brigid: To save Sinclair's bladder.

Elizabeth: OK, forget I asked!

Jack: Hi, Elizabeth!

Elizabeth: Morning, Jackie. Is everyone on call right now?

Johnny: Eh, I think so?

Elizabeth: It's 7 am!

Eleanor: You got up at 7 am to ask me out to breakfast.

Elizabeth: That's different.

Daisy: I was up at 7 am asking you lot if anyone wanted to go to the movies.

Elizabeth: That is (.) Also different.

Johnny: How?

Elizabeth: Because (.) It is. You know, I have to get ready for my date. It’s in, I have half an hour to get ready. I'm going to mute the chat for the time being, OK?

Augustus: Do whatever you want, hun. We’ll log off too, if Johnny would just (.) Just go and (.) If he'd just ((grunting)) give me the damn phone!

Johnny: Nuh uh.

Augustus: Damn [you.]

Atlas: [Hehe,] what, are you too short to reach?

Augustus: Jack, son, grab whatever Atlas is holding and hold it above his head, would you kindly?

Jack: Damn you. Fine. The phone is mine now.

Atlas: You bastard, Sin.

Augustus: Good morning and goodbye, everyone! Johnny, switch it off.

Daisy: Aw, no one has time for a movie?

Brigid: I will go with you.

Augustus: Actually. A movie sounds really nice.