Work Text:
"I am sorry, darling... but I don't think that it works between us."
Charles Augustus Milverton, the King of Blackmail, who was about to ask the pair to call someone who can let him out of the toilet whose lock just broke, stopped and started listening instead. The signs were unmistakeable. Someone was about to break up with their partner.
In a public toilet.
"What do you mean that our marriage doesn't work?" He could hear from the woman's voice that she was about to cry or shout, or both. She clearly hasn't decided yet.
"You see... you work until late at night. I stop working at 8. Our schedules don't align. We unfortunately have no time for each other. It is better if we get divorced." The man tried to calm down his wife but it was unsuccessful. She angrily lashed out.
"We had the exact same working schedule when we got married! It was not a problem back then! Don't even try to lie, you moron! You broke up with me because of your young, new colleague! For how long are you cheating on me?"
Milverton's eyes sparkled up from the malice. This keeps getting more and more exciting and juicy! He couldn't wait for what would come next. He leaned closer to the door to make sure to not miss anything accidentally from this beautiful conversation.
"I didn't cheat on you!" Opposed the husband. "Not yet, at least."
"What?!" The woman's voice became unbearably high. Milverton was sure that the husband's ears were probably bleeding by now. He wished to see the couple's faces.
"How dare you?!" The cry was followed by the sound of a punch. Oh, she hit him, cheered the King of Blackmail. The woman's act was much more entertaining than her husband's. Milverton decided to root for her.
"I don't think that we should talk about this here..." The man shyly suggested, but his sentence got cut away by another yelling.
"You were the one who brought me to the toilet for this damn talk!"
The lock, which Milverton thought was broken, suddenly slid over, causing the King of Blackmail to almost fall out of the toilet. Luckily, he was able to keep his balance in the end. The couple, who was arguing until then, gave a confused look at the third party who disturbed their discussion. Milverton let out an amused chuckle and excused himself - or rather, that he was going to miss the rest of the fun.
"I wanted to listen to it for longer. Well, the pleasant times always need to come to an end so soon - but I think you know this better than me." He said with a smile and winked at the pair. "It seems that break-ups work even without me. I don't even need to try." He noted and left the toilet with a wide grin.