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For the longest time since he came to Camp, Percy felt the familiar sting of neglect, a sharp hope that he could have a father that never quite seemed to taper off. Paul came in, a beacon of understanding and normalcy in a life that was chaotic to the extreme like a blessing from the gods, but Percy was not normal, never had been. He was the sea made flesh in the womb of a mortal. He still craved his father’s approval and time.
And yet, as time passed on, he realized he could get his approval, but never his time. In some ways, Percy liked to think they had come to an understanding. They both worked together to keep the gods in power, the best of all evils. Percy tried to keep his mind off of the idea of gifts or approval or time. He shouldn’t want or need incentives to do the right thing.
It came easier and easier with time.
He had amazing boundless powers, undoubtedly a sign of his father’s favor on him. While a part of him still felt his mortal family lacking in some ways (he hated himself every time he felt it, selfish and inhuman as he was), still found himself slowing down to keep pace with even the demigods, he knew he couldn’t expect his father around. If he felt his powers, strength, and morals were so different from this world, he sometimes wondered how much harder it must be for his father.
It made it easier to forgive him for being so godly and inhuman. It made it easier to live with his lot in life.
He laughed with his mortal family around board games and tried to ignore the power thrumming in his fingertips, sparred with the best campers and hoped he didn’t let go too much to kill them accidentally someday, and practiced his powers by himself because he had no older siblings to guide him through it.
It was just another fact of life.
Poseidon came knocking on his door, a day after school let off. The exams had been stressful, he had barely looked up from his books and when he had finally finished the exam, he had ran to Camp and cried from relief.
Laying in bed, he turned to peer at his door, jumping down and skipping to open the door. He didn’t know his grades yet, but at least it was over for now. He felt so light without that pressure on his shoulders.
“Dad?” Percy greeted the god outside his door, flashing a smile at him and the guy standing next to him. He peered closer. “Is that one of my brothers? Is he mortal?”
Poseidon chuckled and shook his head as the guy crossed his arms, and murmured grumpily to himself. “Percy, this is Triton. You’ve met before. I trust you, remember?” Poseidon looked at him expectantly as if honestly expecting a response to it.
Percy wasn’t sure if Poseidon honestly thought him this thick or if he suspected some side effects from Hera’s unique brand of meddling. Which was fair, he guessed. “Yes,” was all he said simply, inviting them in with a wave of his hand as he stepped back, quietly thankful he had only just arrived at his cabin and hadn’t had time to make a mess. An explosion outside shook the cabin walls.
“What’s up?” He asked simply, hands in his pockets as the two startled and stared outside. He waved his hand. “Probably some idiot got himself caught in one of Ares cabin’s mine traps. It happens at least once every summer. It’s a very distinctive sound.”
Poseidon just chuckled as Triton stared at him as if he were nuts. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“It’s not lethal,” Percy set out to defend his sworn frenemy. “The most they lose is a limb or two.” Outside, someone shouted for a medic as someone else started wailing in pain. Percy winced in sympathy. Those mines were no joke. “See,” he tried optimistically. “He wouldn’t be crying if he were dead.”
Triton shook his head, muttering dumbasses under his breath. Which is fair. Even Poseidon looked a tad uncertain now, looking at him critically. “You wouldn’t have happened to have ever gotten caught in that, would you?”
Percy pondered on how to answer that. That? The Ares Cabin? Sure, loads of times. One time, after the Lightning Thief incident, they had all jumped him, dragged him away from any and all water sources, and maimed him until he had been about ready to beg for water and mercy. And the Big Three kids had insane limits on that. But then again, he had been 12. It had been a tad embarrassing.
The mines though? No, never. He had been in range when one kid had shot out though, and fallen on top of Percy. Did that count?
Seeing the increasingly dark look in his father’s eyes, Percy coughed. “Moving on.” He wondered if his father could read the memories and minds of his own children. He sure hoped not. That incident had been utterly embarrassing. He had almost cried. He wanted to always be brave in front of his father. Being vulnerable was a privilege and weakness reserved for his mortal family.
“Triton wanted to talk to you,” Poseidon said, struggling to calm himself back to the mild-mannered god Percy knew. A glimpse of a struggling child, tears and blood on his lashes, despair, and pain on his little face… Poseidon wondered how he hadn’t known of this happening right under his nose.
Triton glanced at him, then turned to Percy. “I didn’t,” Triton informed Percy flatly. Percy’s lips twitched in humor, eyes bright. “I understand,” Percy tried solemnly, trying not to laugh.
“Triton, I will leave you here.”
Triton stomped his feet, “Why do I have to be the first?”
“The first? Percy asked curiously, head cocked.
Triton finally deflated. Arrogance or no, pride or no, he couldn’t be held as an oath-breaker. He was known among the seven seas for his integrity and moral character. Just because even the sight of his brother was infuriating was no reason to alienate him. He nodded. “I am here to formally thank you for getting me a seat on the Council. I would be most honored to bestow a favor of equivalent worth upon you, within reason.”
Equivalent reason. That had been a big deed. Percy could ask for a lot in this regard.
Percy just blinked. “Oh,” he said with the surprise of someone who hadn’t even thought about it. Poseidon frowned. Had he forgotten? Or did he expect Triton to have no honor in this regard? Surely he didn’t think that badly of them. Then Percy opened his mouth and shattered all his thoughts as he said, “It’s alright, Triton. You deserved one, I’m sure. Er, I mean, I don’t know you but I think. Or I hope, whatever. But yeah.” He shrugged.
The silence that followed his words could have broken Zeus himself.
“But what do you want in return?” Triton asked in a whisper.
Percy shrugged. “I didn’t do it for gifts or anything, you know. It's okay. Just do some good out there. That’s good enough for me.” Even Percy seemed to have realized something wasn’t right by now, turning to stare from Poseidon to Triton and back again.
“You didn’t do it for gifts?” Poseidon said, looking pained. “Then what did you do it for?”
Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it. Oblivious, Percy continued. “To avoid a war in the future, of course. And besides, there was too much resentment around them. Everyone needed change and hope-”
Poseidon buried his head in his hands. “You did it for the future of Olympus?” His voice was surprisingly plain.
“Um, yes? You okay, dad?”
Poseidon looked up, an eerie smile on his face. “This means I can give you favors too now.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Percy held up his hands in a time-out gesture.
Triton took pity on him. “Do you know how karma works, Percy?”
When Percy mutely shook his head, stunned at being called Percy instead of Perseus, Triton continued. “I know it may sometimes feel like your good actions aren’t giving you something back, but that’s never true, you know. It’s one of the basic principles of the Universe. Every good deed and every bad one has to be paid in full. Even for immortals. Even if you’re an animal. It might not be paid back in that lifetime but your soul will always get or pay back what’s coming to it.”
Percy mused through it. “I would have a lot of bad karma then.”
Poseidon was surprised that he was surprised that Percy had chosen to pick this point. “Deeds done in the line of duty don’t count if done from a distance.”
Percy looked at him critically, so Poseidon elaborated. “If those things counted, an executioner would have so much bad karma for just doing his duty. But, it doesn’t work like that. It would if it were done maliciously. Just think of it like this: intention matters.”
Percy thought he would still have the potential for a lot of bad karma. He thought of Akhyls, his biggest nightmare to this day. Would that count? Or did they mutually torture each other enough to cancel it out? He let go of that thought, there was no point weeping about it already.
He focused back on Poseidon. “So because I got the minor gods' seats on the Council, they feel like they owe me a debt or something?”
Poseidon sighed. “They do owe you a debt. And it seems that we Olympians still do too. We thought you giving seats to the minor gods had been a two-birds-with-one-stone kind of thing for you. Give the minor gods seats, avert future wars and gain favors greater than the Olympian Council owed you. You would have to live out a mortal life in that case, but you didn’t seem too broken up about it either way. Athena called it a master stroke. Zeus was pissed for understandable reasons.”
Percy coughed, looking a tad awkward himself now. Yeah, he could understand why Zeus wouldn’t be too impressed there. In his eyes, Percy had refused a gift from them, indirectly citing that minor gods would have a better one for him and made himself look good doing it. He might have been impressed at his audacity if it really had been a planned move. And Athena had a surprising amount of faith in him for someone she considered this dumb…
If the others found this out, they would never let him live it down.
“Athena would never let me live this down,” Poseidon complained as Percy started giggling at their near-identical thought process, the hilarity of the situation striking him. Triton watched with those unfathomable green eyes of his. “But then why would you choose to save Olympus?”
Percy dryly replied, “Maybe because I had actual faith in you guys?” They both had the decency to look shocked. “Wow, way to have faith in yourselves.”
Poseidon scratched his cheek awkwardly. “Yes, well, I am well aware you didn’t exactly get the best view of the Council in recent times?”
Percy blinked. “That’s not how you guys are all the time?”
“...What did you see in us honestly?” Poseidon said, perplexed even as Triton said, “You chose that to rule the world?”
“Hey, Kronos ate his kids. Enemy enough for me,” Percy said, self-righteously, crossing his arms. Poseidon absently thanked Tyche that Percy had apparently never heard of Metis. That was one defeat barely averted.
“We don’t go around panicking and bickering all the time,” Poseidon confirmed. “And we certainly don’t go around debating about killing our own children. Or any children really.”
“I doubted that part,” Percy assured him, like a liar. He didn’t want to give them yet another reason to doubt his choice. “You guys were talking too much and there was not enough action.”
Poseidon nodded sheepishly. “It felt too cruel. But it also felt necessary. It was an impossible situation my brother was in. I don’t envy him.”
Before Percy could say anything further, Triton jumped in. “As fascinating as this is,” his tone said he did find it fascinating and was rather disappointed to be cutting in. “I am needed in Atlantis. Both of us leaving at the same time wasn’t our brightest idea. And it hadn’t meant to be stretched this long.”
Poseidon nodded sheepishly.
Triton winked at Percy, surprisingly playfully. “I still owe you one, kid.”
Percy nodded and stepped back, content with what little time he had gotten, and waved them goodbye as they both disappeared into sea mist and drifted away. Percy jumped back on his bunk, ready to continue with his previous nap. He was not telling anyone about this meeting.
Annabeth cornered him as soon as he came out and informed him of the gossip on Olympus. Percy resisted the urge to groan and bang his head against the wall. He was going to be the laughing stock of Olympus, he just knew it. Everyone seemed to know, Annabeth informed him between bouts of laughter.
“You’re my friend,” Percy said desperately. “Don’t you feel sorry for me at all?”
“Nope,” she said brightly.
“Besides, shouldn’t you be getting favors and stuff too?”
“Such eloquence,” she snorted. “And I already got what I desired most from the Olympian Council. A chance to be an architect through the ages. Something that will hold up for millennia to come. It was a fair trade.”
Percy blinked. “So you knew about this?”
Annabeth groaned. “Seaweed Brain, how many times did we talk about there always being a price for gifts? Our first quest revolved around it. Isn’t it obvious it would hold true the other way round too?”
Maybe to Annabeth, Percy thought sulkily. “I am gonna be the laughing stock of Olympus,” he grumbled. She laughed again but didn’t refute his statement.
“It’ll blow over, sooner or later,” she promised carelessly.
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“So you really are that dense,” a voice in the corner marveled. Percy jerked up from his sleep, staring at the dark corner, heart pounding. It couldn’t be Tartarus, he was pretty sure.
Zeus walked into the light, overdramatic as always, in a white chiton with gold trimmings. There was a golden crown resting on his forehead that Percy had never seen before. A dagger hung by his belt, his forearms encased in gold armbands and his feet were clad in sandals. He looked like the King he hadn’t presented himself as before. The sparks dancing on his fingertips and the blue in his eyes were just as powerful as ever though. Divinity this potent couldn’t be hidden and for all their differences, Percy didn’t delude himself into thinking the Big Three were lacking in power in any way.
“Zeus?” Percy rolled over, jumping out of bed, thankful Zeus had woken him up now of all times. The nightmare had been taking a life of its own, an uneasy anxiety that seemed to dissipate the longer he stood in Zeus’ purifying power. He tried not to show the weakness he felt in his legs. “What’s up?” Zeus didn’t even grimace at the greeting, staring deep into his soul.
His eyes were golden today, Percy realized with dawning horror. Kronos’ golden. Kronos couldn’t possess the King of Olympus, could he? Gods, Percy hoped not. Not like Kronos wasn’t overpowered as is. Percy wondered what would become of him if it were indeed Kronos.
Maybe he could whack him in the head with his pillow. It was the only thing he had around here. Except that was almost as stupid as facing Tartarus and an army without weapons. Which, been there, done that. Percy shut down that part of him that still quivered in primal fear at even the thought of the deity. Nyx had been terrifying enough but when Tartarus had joined the party, he had wanted to crawl into some other pit and die.
Stop that, he told himself sternly. He was probably out of there. Zeus was still staring at him.
“Peace, nephew,” he said idly at last. Percy realized belatedly this was the first time Zeus had acknowledged him as a nephew of his. “I am not my father in disguise.” And let his eyes bleed back to blue.
“Can you read minds?” Percy blurted out and then resisted the urge to zip his lips shut. He still didn’t know how to address gods and goddesses but this was surely not it. Probably. Hades had certainly turned an interesting shade of red when he had gone down to the Underworld and done so.
Zeus’ lips twitched, a surprising enough gesture considering Percy had never seen the god smile around him before. He always seemed unduly stressed whenever he saw Percy coming. Percy hadn’t even known Zeus smiled at all. “I can read minds, yes.” Then, with a pause. “I give you free rein to annoy my brothers with your lack of decorum as you please. And I do smile.”
Percy coughed, hiding his smile behind his fist. He could really, properly see the family resemblance now. It was kinda sweet. “What brings you here, my Lord?” He chirped, now that he was properly awake.
He hadn’t had to face a nightmare at its worst today, and had even seen his father and talked with him. Even his exams were over for now. Today was a good day. He could go on a quest if needed. In his experience, that was the only reason immortals came knocking.
Zeus wasn’t smiling right now, studying his face as if looking for something deeper beyond the surface. It reminded him of Athena but without the scorn she reserved for him. “I’ve been made aware of a potential lapse in my judgment and a pending favor that you have yet to cash in from us.”
Oh, that. Percy’s smile faded. “I didn’t do it for gifts and favors.”
“Yes,” Zeus insisted. “But surely it’s not so bad to be getting something out of it.”
Percy mulled it over. “I don’t want anything, Uncle,” he said politely. “But thanks for the offer.”
Zeus’ eye twitched. Percy wondered how mad he had made the god. But it was true. He didn’t want anything. As a kid, all he had wanted was his mom happy, Gabe gone, a real family, a place to belong, a place of safety where he wouldn’t be knocked down every few hours, and freedom from school. Oh, and blue food and Montauk of course. It was a whole bucket list of impossibilities he had never really dreamt he could get. He had it all now.
The road to getting it hadn’t been easy. But he had gotten to a place where he could safely say that the pain had been worth the gain. It was dangerous to want more. Because you wouldn’t get it and then you’re the fool.
Zeus didn’t say anything more, just vanished in a burst of light, a loud clap of thunder shaking the cabin. Shaking his head, Percy crawled back into bed to sleep. Sleep was a good reprieve from his own thoughts, he had learned.
~
“Don’t you ever dream of something?” Poseidon asked one day, leaning against a tree as Percy walked on, having gone looking for some monsters to practice his skills on.
“I dream of a lot of things,” he said easily, brushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. “You’ll have to be more specific.”
“You don’t pray for help often. It’s gotten less and less frequent as time goes on,” Poseidon lamented, a distant faraway look in his eyes. “And yet, I sense no ill will towards me. You used to want to visit Atlantis so desperately once. You used to want to meet me. But no longer, it seems. You still respect me, perhaps even more than you used to, but you just…” He trailed off, looking uncertain of his own words.
Percy himself was overwhelmed by how deeply the god was in his conscience. It would have felt like a violation if he didn’t know what gods were like. He just hadn’t expected the god to confront him about it. He struggled to put into words what he had realized was a part of his life by now.
“It’s taken me years to get this,” Percy started, slowly. “But I’ve realized you’re a god and not a mortal.”
Poseidon blinked. “You knew this.”
“I knew it,” he agreed. “I didn’t get it. For the longest time, I wanted a mortal relationship with you. I wanted to know you, wanted you to know me. I wanted you to be there to soothe me and care for me and not just be a patron to fight for and ask for help occasionally. So many times, Chiron told me we were demigods, that we had to make our own way out. And I accepted it, but I didn’t truly understand the need for it.”
If he didn’t know better, he would say Poseidon looked almost stricken. “But now you understand it.” It wasn’t a question, but Percy nodded.
“Did you know I fell into Tartarus once?” Percy asked, almost whimsical as if reminiscing on some old distant memory. Poseidon’s eyes closed off, blank and Percy couldn’t tell if he had known or not. It didn’t matter, either way, Percy had realized soon enough. Blaming his father for not being around was a weakness he had to purge out of his system.
He couldn’t rely on the god, on any god really. Just on his own strengths and choice of companions. He had needed his father once upon a time, cried out for him, begged for his help. He hadn’t been there then. Poseidon was ready to give him a world he didn’t even want now. Life didn’t work like that.
“It was terrifying,” Percy didn’t feel ashamed to admit it anymore. “And for the first time in a long, long time, I had absolutely no chance of hope from a friendly god. It was just Annabeth and I. We made some friends along the way. People who should have been enemies, who could have betrayed us, but instead chose to die for us.”
His thoughtful eyes met his father’s unreadable ones. “I love you, I respect you for so much you’ve done for this world. And I’ll fight for you. But you don’t have to worry, because I’ll never expect anything from you ever again. From any of you. That pit was the lowest point of my life. If I could get through that, I have faith I could get through a lot worse than that. And I know I have to do it alone. It took a lot out of me to gain this independence and this confidence. To learn how to stop asking for help that I might never get and to stop relying on it.
You have your roles in the world. I have mine. Mine has always been to fight and die for it. Yours has always been to live for it. It's not fair of me to ask you for more.” He gentled his voice. “But it's not fair of you to ask me for more either.”
“I ask you to take your due.”
“I have,” he promised. “I have the family I wanted and needed. A place to belong. And I’ve earned this. But anything else? I still need to earn it. That’s how mortals work. We don’t fight a war, conquer territories, and then live happily ever after. I need to keep working towards my goals. That’s how it works.”
“I wish you were less your mother’s son,” Poseidon said harshly. The hand on his cheek belies his fondness though, gentle as it is. Percy smiled wider, adoring this show of rare affection from his father. As he said, he did love his father still. He had just outgrown the stage where he relied on him for help now.
“Olympus would have fallen, Father,” Percy sassed and was rewarded with a sad, dimpled smile. “But don’t worry, I am mostly your son too.”
“I never doubted that,” he agreed. He paused. “You know karma is a sacred law of the fabric of reality. You’ll get your dues one day or the other, regardless of whether or not you ask for them, regardless of whether or not we wish to give them to you.”
Percy smiled, dimples flashing. “Now that sounds like the sort of surprise I wouldn’t mind coming my way.” And for once, he really wouldn’t mind something unexpected popping up from Olympus.