Work Text:
It was late, so late it was almost early, as Lisa trundled to a stop outside her house. She turned the key and the car stopped, the engine going quiet, and she was left alone in the darkness.
Number Six looked dark and quiet, the curtains pulled closed, the house still. It hadn't been quiet all week since Roy and Nina had come to stay, it was a constant buzz of people coming and going, the baby being passed around, thrilled to be in the arms of so many new people. Lisa had parked herself at the kitchen island, laptop in front of her, making endless cups of tea as Jodie did laundry and looked after Connie, and Betsy sat next to her and did her college work, the activity and noise overwhelming in the best way.
Now it was quiet.
Lisa didn't know when she'd started crying, tears running down her cheeks, and she leant back in her seat, staring at the house as she tried to get a hold of her erratic breathing as she sobbed into her sleeve.
She'd had hard days in her job, days that made her head hurt and her heart ache, days that felt like they were never-ending. That had been one of the hardest parts of being a widow, the heavy drape of loneliness which meant arriving back from a horrible day to a dark and empty house, to drink half a bottle of wine and fall asleep on the sofa, unable to cry but unable to do anything else. Since Carla had entered her life, Lisa had felt herself open up, bit by bit, until she was left soft and vulnerable in her presence, and Carla met all her bad days with cuddles and soft words and kind smiles, playing with her hair and pressing kisses to her forehead, promising a better tomorrow.
Lisa knew she should get up, go inside, ascend the stairs as quietly as she could until she reached their bedroom, climb into her waiting bed to lay next to the woman who would be her wife in a week and try to leave her day outside.
She couldn't get the image of Todd's beaten and bloodied face out her mind. The photos of his bruised chest, the rattle in his voice, his wide, terrified eyes that never met her own. How he went around in circles, blaming himself, blaming the circumstances, but never blaming the man whose fists had shattered his cheekbone and his nose. How he seemed to reach for innocuous details, random events, like he was trying to make sense of what had happened to him by looking for connections in the stars. Lisa had tried to get him to go to the hospital, but Todd was adamant - he wanted to go home.
At least Lisa knew she was leaving him in good hands. Sarah was a good person.
Kit had taken Theo away for questioning, but Lisa had pulled rank to be the one to do it, citing Kit's close relationship with Sarah, and privately considering Kit's propensity to rise to aggression when provoked. She didn't need to add Kit punching a suspect to the mountain of paperwork she needed to do, even if he really did deserve it.
Theo looked at her like she was dirt on the bottom of his shoe for the whole interview, and it pricked at the back of her neck, how he clearly thought he was better than her, how the lies came so easy to him, how he had no respect for her or anyone he saw as smaller than him, weaker than him. His face only slipped from the carefully curated mask when Lisa said she was keeping him in the cells overnight.
At least that would keep Todd safe, at least for that night.
Tomorrow would be a long day, trawling through evidence, taking statements, filling in round after round of paperwork; she'd probably be awake and out the house when only Roy was awake, and back when only Nina was.
Her family was inside Number Six, the house she could barely see through her tears, and Lisa couldn't bring herself to go inside, to bring inside the heaviness of the day and the days to come.
A light flicked on.
Maybe Connie was awake, and Lisa would go inside and find Carla in her pyjamas, making a bottle or changing a nappy. Maybe Roy had wanted a glass of water. Maybe Betsy was sneaking down for a late night snack after staying up late on her phone.
Maybe.
Lisa looked down at her hands; shaking.
There was something else too, deep in the back of her mind, something that snarled and crawled out on this particularly bad day.
In a week, she was going to be a married woman again.
Todd was a married man, married in love. He'd said it was love, even when, from the outside, it was horribly clear it was anything but love; it was twisted, selfish possession, jealousy and turmoil and arguments and violence.
Lisa had been a married woman once before, married in love, and she couldn't see it from the outside, even as Carla begged her too, couldn't see it until she'd heard Carla's voice on the phone the split second before her world was turned upside down.
There was a gentle knock on the car window, and Lisa jolted, but it was Carla, looking at her through the window. She must have seen her tear-stained face and moved around to the other side of the car, and Lisa clicked the lock so she could get in. She turned to her wife-to-be, in her trainers and pyjamas, hair mussed from sleep, a little mascara smudged under her eyes.
"I know." Carla said, her voice so gentle, her eyes familiar and kind. "Sarah told me, to explain why she wouldn't be in work. I figured when you didn't come home tonight that … that's where you were."
"Sorry -" Lisa swallowed, as she attempted to wipe away the fresh bout of tears on her cheeks with the sleeves of her jacket. "I'll be inside in a minute."
"S'okay, no rush." Carla murmured. "Can I stay?"
"Please." Lisa said and reached out to hold her hands. She wasn't sure how long they sat there, only that somewhere over the horizon, dawn broke, but the pale grey light couldn't reach them, tucked away in the car.
"Do -" Lisa started, the gravelly nature of her own voice surprising her. She felt wrung out, raw, like the tears had stripped her of something. "Do you remember when you sat with me, before? All that time ago? Because I was crying."
"Yeah, I do." Carla said softly. "Betsy was being… well, a teenager, I guess."
"Yeah." Lisa swallowed. "Thank you."
"Any time." Carla said softly. "Any time, my love."
Lisa looked at their joined hands.
"I interviewed him. Theo." She said, her voice soft and far away. "He said he hadn't done anything wrong, and - I think he really believes that. Todd - he was beaten black and blue; his face was covered in blood - and he didn't think Theo had done anything wrong either. Thought he'd provoked him in some way."
Carla ran her thumb over the back of her hand. "I'm glad it was you, who was there for him today."
"Me?"
"Yeah. Todd's going to need someone in his corner, who'll fight for him, who'll do what's right, who'll treat him with the respect and dignity he's not had a whole lot of so far."
"Even though I'm crying in my car?"
"You're allowed to be Lisa too, darling. You're allowed to come home to me and just… feel it all."
Lisa swallowed. There it was again, snarling, and she looked out of the window at the lightening sky.
"She hit me once."
There was silence.
"I thought it was an accident." Lisa swallowed. "How stupid is that? She couldn't have meant it. But - listening to Todd say those same words, it - it made it all seem - real. Like it really happened."
"Oh, darling…"
Lisa looked up at the sound of her voice, and Carla was crying too.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to -" She mumbled, but Carla interrupted her.
"No, it's okay, I'm okay." Carla said, and took a deep breath, squeezing her hands. "Thank you for telling me."
"I was talking to PC Heywood, about - why don’t they just leave? How do they let it get this bad? Why can't she see what he's really like? And I realised - that's what you said to me, once. Can't you see what she's doing? And - I can't, I can't, I still can't -"
As she cried, Carla held her hands and pressed a kiss to her temple, murmuring reassurances and declarations into her hairline.
You're safe, you're doing so well.
I'm here. I love you.
It all seemed real, then, in the car, at the end of it all, as the cold morning light illuminated them both.
"Sorry." Lisa mumbled. "Sorry, I shouldn't have dropped that on you."
"You don't have to apologise, Lise. I'm really proud of you." Carla said softly and pulled back so they could look at each-other. "I won't tell you to stay off this case, because you won't, but - please promise me - you'll take care of yourself, and when you can't, you'll let me take care of you, okay?"
It had taken her so long to accept Carla's care, and it still pricked at her about accepting it now, a reaction to being alone for so long and being lonely for so long before that.
"Can we go inside?" Lisa said softly, and Carla nodded, and looked out the window.
"Basically morning now. Roy will be up soon, so will Connie."
"Yeah. If I just drink a coffee and go back to work, will you go all mean boss Mrs Connor on me?" Lisa said, her mouth quirking up at the edge.
"Yes! You need a few hours kip at least." Carla said, outraged, then her expression softened into a smile. "And it's mean boss Mrs Connor-Swain, thank you very much."
The sound of it made Lisa's heart flutter.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Already changed my email signature and everything." Carla said, and Lisa couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, now that's true commitment."
"True commitment was when we got a shared Nectar card." Carla said, a smile on her face.
The exhaustion hit her as she moved inside, but before she went upstairs to bed, Lisa needed to make sure -
Ryan was stretched out on the sofa, dead to the world, his feet dangling off the edge, and Connie was in her crib, hands above her head in a deep sleep. When she pushed open the door to Betsy's room, she could see it was a mess, clothes and magazines and the odd water bottle, and her daughter was curled up in her bed, dwarfed by the winter duvet she insisted she keep all year round, her blonde hair spread out over the pillow like a halo.
Safe.
"You ready for bed?" Carla murmured, and Lisa nodded. Any last ebb of energy, from anger or adrenaline or something else had gone, and she felt boneless with exhaustion. "Betsy's okay. I just told her you were working a big case."
"Thank you." Lisa said softly, as she clicked the door shut. "Can … can you stay with me? Just for a bit?"
"For as long as you want, darling." Carla said and took her hand to lead her to the bedroom.
There was so much Lisa wanted to say to her, but her thoughts became more abstract and spaced put as Carla helped her change into her pyjamas, take her hair out of her tight ponytail, and get in bed and tucked under the covers.
"Thank you." Lisa mumbled, as Carla's arms held her close. "Thank you."
"Sleep, darling. I'll be here when you wake up."