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It was hot outside, or as Katniss once told Peeta, it was so hot the bugs didn't want to buzz around. Peeta was in his home, making a list of pros and cons on whether or not Katniss loved him.
It had been a little over a year since the war had ended. A year since he'd come home and planted primroses in honor of the gentle, kind girl who helped Peeta with his hijacking.
At first, when he'd come home, they were almost strangers, but as the days passed by, Peeta and Katniss grew closer. It began by playing the game 'real or not real.' Peeta asked many questions. Katniss answered all of his questions to the best of her ability.
They were rarely apart nowadays. They commemorated Prim’s death three months ago. Katniss took it hard. He knew how fragile she was, and he wanted to take away the pain. He knew how it felt to lose everything. He’d lost his family, his identity, and had become the one thing he never wanted to become, a monster. Yet, he was coming back, and it was all thanks to Katniss.
Her honesty, even when encountered with tough questions, helped Peeta figure out why he loved Katniss in the first place. It also helped him fall in love with her again. The only part he was insecure about was Katniss' feelings.
Katniss wasn't someone who used her words. Peeta understood this. And yet he wanted to hear her say what she felt about him.
"HEY KID, ARE YOU IN THERE! ARE YOU DECENT!" Haymitch yelled from the outside.
Recently, things between him and Katniss had taken a turn. They'd started kissing. At first, it was a comforting sort of kiss, and that evolved into a quick peck goodbye or hello. Then one afternoon, when they were watching television together, they gravitated toward each other and made out.
Kissing led to other heated things, but they'd never gone there yet. He'd stop them every time. It wasn't that he didn't want to get there with her; it was just that he didn't want it to be something they did without discussion or declaration of emotions.
It was thrilling to hold her and hear her small whimpers in the heat of passion, but it was also just as exciting to languidly take it slow. They were exploring, but Peeta wanted more than just a physical thing. He wanted an emotional one.
It just so happened that one of those afternoons when they were being slow and were making out passionately, Haymitch caught them. Ever since then, anytime he came over, he stood at the porch and yelled, asking if they were decent.
Peeta stood up and walked to the front door. "I'm alone, Haymitch."
"Where's Sweetheart?"
"She's out hunting."
"So you let her come up for air enough to go hunting?"
"You do realize this is Katniss we're talking about. Can't stop her from doing what she wants."
Haymitch snorted, "True."
"Might as well come in from the heat," Peeta said.
"Can't stay too long, got the goslings in the tub."
Two weeks ago, Katniss came up with the brilliant idea to give Haymitch goose eggs. Peeta made the incubator, and Katniss sought the eggs from the geese in the wild.
Haymitch was now the proud parent of five adorable hatchlings. They followed him, squeaking. It was an adorable sight, and Peeta painted the scene.
"I need some more bread," Haymitch said.
"Sure, come on to the kitchen, I made some this morning." Peeta headed to the kitchen.
"So when are you two going to move in?" Haymitch said as he looked around.
"Move in?" Peeta stopped in his tracks, his hand resting on the swinging door between the living area and the kitchen.
"Yeah, I can see all of Sweetheart's belongings here. Does she even stay in her house anymore?"
Peeta looked around; her extra boots were by the door. Her house slippers were by the sofa. Her winter jacket was hanging by the entry. Her blanket was thrown across the sofa. Her favorite mug was in the sink, and Buttercup was sunning himself by the window.
"I."
"Tell me you haven't noticed?"
Peeta shook his head, then he sighed, and his shoulders slumped. "I've been trying to figure out if Katniss loves me."
"That sounds like a you problem," Haymtich said, brushing Peeta into the kitchen.
"Seriously, is that the only thing you're going to say?"
Haymitch was peering into his refrigerator. "Where's the bread? Oh, and by the way, you're running low on milk."
"I don't keep the bread in the refrigerator."
"Really?"
"It ruins the bread."
"Okay, get me the bread so that I can get the heck out of here."
"Haymitch, I need help."
"Teenagers," Haymitch muttered under his breath. "Look, I know Sweetheart isn't much of a talker. However, she's like that mangy orange beast. When they like you, they bring dead things and leave them in your shoes or on your bed."
"Why are you comparing Katniss to Buttercup?"
"Am I wrong? Didn't that beast leave a dead furry thing in your good shoe the other day?"
"Yeah."
"Congratulations, that thing loves you, and so does its owner."
"Wait, but Katniss doesn't leave-"
"Do you know what my favorite game meat is?"
"No."
"That's right, because we never eat turkey. We eat squirrels."
"I like squirrels," Peeta said.
"Exactly. The girl gives away the rabbit, the fish, the quail, and the turkey, but keeps the squirrels because she knows those are your favorites. And because of that, we eat fried squirrel, squirrel stews, squirrel sausage, squirrel hash, oh, and bacon. "
Peeta wasn't convinced.
"Look, let's run a simulation. Tonight, when we sit down to eat, mention that you have a hankering for fish or quail. If Sweetheart doesn't start bringing home what you suggested, then I'm wrong. But if you see her start bringing home what you want, she loves you."
"Okay," Peeta said, but he doubted it. There was rabbit meat in the freezer.
That afternoon, when Katniss came home, Peeta was cooking the rabbit with some baby carrots and potatoes.
"Hey," Katniss said, kicking off her shoes in the kitchen. She set her game bag down. She walked to the sink and washed her hands.
Peeta ambled over to her and gave her a kiss on the lips.
"What's all of this?"
"Well, I got a hankering for rabbit, and then I decided to cook it for us, since it's hot as sin outside."
"Tell me about it. All of the animals were hiding today. That's a lot of food for just you and I."
"Haymitch and Thom are coming over for dinner."
"Ok, let me get the squirrel meat in the freezer. So do you want a rabbit next time I go out?" She said it so casually that Peeta wouldn't have caught on that she was asking him what he wanted.
"You can bring home some rabbit or some fish, since it's summer, some fish would be great."
"That sounds nice," Katniss said as she finished putting the squirrel away. "I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower."
Peeta nodded, and it struck him that she was going to use his shower, not the one in her bedroom across the street.
For the next few weeks, Katniss brought home exactly what he asked for: fish and rabbits. It was as he was working on a painting and noticed her quiver of arrows in the corner that he comprehended Haymitch was right.
Katniss did care for him greatly. She washed his clothes when she didn't have to, she got up early to watch him bake, even when he knew she was tired. And until Haymitch pointed it out, Peeta hadn't realized how little time Katniss spent at her house next door. He was sitting outside watching the geese with Haymitch when he blurted.
"Do you think I should ask Katniss to live with me?"
Haymitch snorted, "Why am I always in the middle of your hormonal problems?"
"Hormonal?"
"Yeah," Haymitch said, then he mocked him, "Does she love me, does she like me…bah! The entire thing is a crock."
"Come on, Haymitch, I'm not that bad."
"Kid, if you want to know if Sweetheart wants to live with you, ask her." Haymitch got up and muttered, "Why did I stop drinking again?"
Later that night, Peeta was snuggling with Katniss on the sofa, trying to figure out how to ask her to move in with him permanently. He took a deep breath and asked. "Hey, do you think we can stay over at your place tomorrow?"
"Why?"
Peeta blushed. "Well, I noticed you have most of your things here, and well… maybe we should move in together."
"Oh, I thought we were."
"Officially, that is, and we can go over to your place, then we can pack up anything else you might want to bring over."
She smiled and said, "Yes, I'd like that."
The next day, Peeta found himself in her house with a box full of ingredients. He wanted to make her a romantic dinner, something she couldn't hunt for. So he asked Effie to send him the ingredients and directions for lamb stew.
The plan was for them to spend the night and the next day packing. He hadn't been to her house in a long time.
It had been months ago, she’d had a nightmare. She came over to his place in her pajamas. Stupidly, he hadn't noticed until Haymitch pointed it out to him.
He supposed that it made sense now. Since the moment he came back last year, they began drifting toward each other. He made bread that first morning, and she looked wild and underfed. It was ironic that their story began with bread, and when they were lost, the bread united them.
As Peeta looked around, he remembered spending time in this house with Prim, her mother, and Haymitch. Even though their houses were almost identical, his house got a lot more sunlight than hers. He could see why Katniss preferred to stay at his place. Plus, there were a lot of memories here that made Katniss sad.
Peeta walked into the kitchen, put the box down, and then put his hands on the counter where he had taught Prim to make cookies. Tears came to his eyes as he recalled her bright, small face. “You’re never going to be forgotten, Prim. You helped save me. Helped bring me back from the hijacking.”
Peeta continued, “I’m going to take care of Katniss. I promise.”
He wiped the tears from his face, then straightened. He began to unpack. Peeta wanted to have dinner and dessert made before Katniss came back to this house. Peeta followed the recipe card, and by the time she came home, the food was ready.
"Peeta?"
"In here," he said from the dining room. He was lighting candles when she walked into the room.
"Whoa," she breathed. "What is all of this?"
"We're celebrating a milestone," Peeta said. "I made lamb stew with white rice and fresh cheese buns."
Her face became flushed. She rushed at him, jumped up into his arms, locked her legs around his middle, and kissed him. Peeta put his arms around her. She planted small kisses on his neck. They somehow ended up sitting in one of the chairs, making out.
Then her stomach rumbled.
"Maybe I should feed you before anything happens."
"Maybe you should," Katniss said, standing up. "I'll be right back. I'm going to take a quick shower."
Katniss came down wearing a dress; she never wore dresses. This had to mean something, but he didn't know what. All he knew was that he liked the way she looked. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks," Katniss said.
"Sit, I'll get the food," Peeta said, feeling warm and flushed all over. Plus, things were happening to his body, and he needed to calm down.
He quickly served them and brought out the plates.
"Smells great!"
Peeta nodded. He sat down and watched her eat. Katniss always ate with gusto, and it caused his heart to flip-flop in his chest. She was everything to him. He loved Katniss. Before he'd been reaped, he only knew what he had been able to observe. The memories that weren't touched by the Capitol showed her to be brave. She'd gone out beyond the fence to hunt as a child, to provide for her family.
He knew her to be kind, sweet, silly, and sarcastic. She was vulnerable and tough at the same time. She was stubborn and fiery. She was everything to him.
"I haven't had this since-" she paused.
"Since when were we in the tunnels?"
"I was so confused and scared."
"So was I, and I was hearing voices in my head."
Katniss began laughing. "Only you could make a joke out of that situation."
“Kind of my specialty,” he winked saucily at her, and she blushed prettily.
Peeta wanted to declare his love, but wasn’t sure if she loved him. “So for dessert, I made a brown sugar cake with chocolate buttercream frosting.”
“I don’t know if I should hug you or kiss you,” Katniss said.
“Try both,” Peeta was openly flirting with her.
“Peeta!”
After a few moments, she said, “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For accepting me, for seeing past my faults…” she shrugged.
"You only say that because you-" Peeta was going to say 'love me,' but instead he changed it to. "…wish you could have my special ability to make bread." It was lame, he knew it, but it was the best he could come up with.
Katniss smiled at him and continued eating. During the entire meal, they spoke and shared meaningful looks. It was as if they were building toward something.
They finished eating, cleaned up, and headed upstairs to sleep. As they were getting ready to go to bed, brushing their teeth, Katniss kept on looking at him through the mirror. She was blushing.
When they were snuggled into the bed, Katniss spoke. “Peeta, do you think it’ll take?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, the peace?”
“Yeah,” Peeta said. “I think it will.”
Katniss propped herself up on her elbow, “How can you be sure?”
“Well, for one, I heard on the wireless today that they voted to tear down the arenas.”
Katniss’s eyes widened. “But even if they tear down the arenas, that doesn’t mean that peace’ll last.”
“Well, there are two generations of people who know what war is like.”
“Two?” Katniss frowned.
“Yeah, there’s the generation like Greasy Saes and Clerk Carmine, who remember the first war and what it was like in the early days. Then there’s our lot who remember what it was like before the war, the hunger, the Games, the Reaping. We appreciate peace and freedom a lot more than the generation that will come next. They won’t understand why we suffer from nightmares, traumas, and other things.” He said, referring to his hijacking. “But we’ll explain. And we’ll tell them so that they’ll keep the peace.”
Katniss lay back down and snuggled into his side. “I hope so, Peeta, for their sake that the peace will keep.”
“It will.”
“I don’t ever want to live through another war or go back to the way it was.”
“It won’t,” Peeta assured.
He felt the moment Katniss drifted off to sleep. However, in the middle of the night, Katniss had a nightmare. He woke up the moment he felt her restlessness. He was rubbing her back and shoulders when she began to whimper and then scream.
"Hey," Peeta said, sitting up. He dragged her with him. She put her head on his shoulders.
Katniss continued to whimper.
"It's okay," Peeta gently swung her in his arms. "I'm here. It's okay."
She clung to him, whispering his name, over and over again.
Peeta looked down at her, wishing he could take her pain away. He whispered into her ear, "I'm here."
"I couldn't get you out, and they got you again," she whispered.
"It's okay, I'm alive," He gently brushed the tears away from her face. Then he gently placed a kiss on her lips.
“Kiss me again,” she whispered.
He kissed her, and this kiss was different from all of the other kisses. This kiss was passionate, but it also felt as if it was bonding them in a way that other kisses weren’t.
This kiss led to another, and before he knew it, their clothing was removed with gentle tenderness. Limbs became intertwined. Soft touches were exchanged, and when his eyes met hers, their worlds melded.
After, for Peeta, it was everything he hoped for, passionate, but slow and sweet. They didn't rush, but the lingering question remained. As he held her in his arms, he asked. "You love me, real or not real?"
Peeta was scared of what she would say.
Katniss leaned up on her elbows and looked down into his eyes. "Real,” Katniss said with a smile. Then she asked, “You love me? Real or not real.”
“Real,” Peeta replied with all of the love in his heart. “I love you.”
Just wanted to share the recipe for the brown sugar cake...it's really yummy