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Hermione Granger has built exactly the life she planned — successful, purposeful, and carefully controlled. The last thing she needed was Draco Malfoy walking back into it, more dangerous and more unreadable than he ever was at school.
Draco has spent years rebuilding the Malfoy name — and made it stronger than ever. He turned himself into a wizard whose name is still synonymous with dark magic, but this time entirely by choice. The last thing he needed was close contact with the Minister's right hand, who within days would know more about his secrets than he should have ever allowed.
When a string of unexplained deaths pulls them into the same investigation, keeping their distance stops being an option. The further they go, the more dangerous it becomes — for wizarding Britain, and for themselves.
Meanwhile, Harry Potter is running from his own ghosts, Ron Weasley is making the most unexpected alliance of his life, and Ginny Weasley is trying to decide — whether second chances are real at all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 153,628
- Chapters:
- 42/42
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- 392
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Bookmarked by 96Happy
23 Mar 2026
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Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.
After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.
Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.
Series
- Part 2 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 172,892
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 5,713
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- 3,830
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- 1,227
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Bookmarked by 96Happy
12 Mar 2026
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,452
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- 30,729
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- 12,195
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Bookmarked by 96Happy
11 Mar 2026
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Nine years ago, Hermione Granger created a plan to become Minister of Magic by the time she turned 60. As part of that plan she knew she needed a husband and two children to convince the public to support her.
She is now approaching her thirty-fourth birthday and is still single, though not for lack of trying. She's questioning her dating methodology as friends grow distant, her parents age, her fertile years are peaking, and the professional goals she created at twenty-five are starting to become harder to cling to. She knows she needs something to change, but that's easier said than done when Draco Malfoy won't leave her the fuck alone.
As for Draco, there's nothing quite as alluring as an angry Hermione Granger, and that's why he's been teasing her for the last ten years. It's only when he comes up with his best idea yet - and gets himself assigned as her security detail for an event that absolutely does not require it - that he starts to peel back the layers and sees her for who she really is. She's more than just a beautiful witch with a fierce temper. She's flawed, lonely, and starting to burn out.
Draco knows he can help. He just needs to her to say yes first.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 263,037
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 2,715
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- 3,318
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- 1,828
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- 229,552
Bookmarked by 96Happy
09 Mar 2026
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Draco Malfoy and the Bureaucratic Nightmare of Just Being Friends by scrittoreluna
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger did her duty. She finished Hogwarts, she tracked down her parents, and she spent a year healing the cracks in her family. But when she steps back into the Wizarding World, the war-torn London she left behind has transformed into something unrecognizable.
This transition is made even more dizzying by Draco Malfoy, who has traded his sneers for soft smiles and a permanent seat at her friends' table.
Draco on the other hand, is fighting a different battle. Having harbored a secret crush on Hermione for years, he finally has her in his life — only to find himself trapped in the one place he never expected: the friend zone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 119,385
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 223
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- 979
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- 648
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- 55,037
Bookmarked by 96Happy
21 Feb 2026