Chillinmetaphorically
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Journalistic Integrity by Chillinmetaphorically
Fandoms: The Black Tapes Podcast, Tanis (Podcast)
30 Nov 2018
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Nic is having trouble casting his new show, Alex uses her favorite romance novel to con her way into her subject’s heart and get the perfect story, and Strand feels like a Real Housewife of the Pacific Northwest
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Harry Potter and the Rules Against Perpetuities by Chillinmetaphorically
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Nov 2018
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“You see,” explained Hermione, “Often times people try to control future generations by delaying the vesting of property, but they often have poor foresight and property can be more valuable another way. Because of this, there’s a Rule Against Perpetuities.”
“What in the name of Merlin is a perpetuity?” Malfoy sneered.
Harry and Hermione start a law firm and teach their new client Draco Malfoy a little bit about trusts and estates
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Eddie climbs onto the bed. They sit side by side, legs extended, two letter L’s protruding off the page. Instead of pressing play like Eddie is expecting, Buck laughs.
“What?” Eddie asks, an instinctive smile caressing his lips.
Buck grips his jaw, thumb brushing over his teeth before he bites at the broad nail, stifling. “Just—did you ever see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?”
Eddie nods. “Gene Wilder.”
“That’s the one,” Buck chuckles around his thumb, then lets it slide free. “You know the grandparents?”
Then Eddie’s laughing too. “Jesus,” he says on an exhale.
“I’m just saying,” says Buck, still giggling. “I’ve seen our future, and it’s bright.”
Or: God created the world in seven days. It only takes Eddie six to surreptitiously move into Buck’s house.
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
22 Apr 2026
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“And you’re gonna do that, where? At the 133?” Buck avoids his gaze. “Or you’re just transferring to a random station where nobody knows you and you can pretend you’re fine?”
“I’m going to the 217,” Buck finally says.
“You’re…” Eddie starts, then scrunches up his nose in confusion. “Why would you even want to–”
Oh no.
Oh hell no.
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
Buck doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look at him.
“Buck.”
“What.”
Breathe, breathe, brea-
“No, no fucking what. You know exactly what.”
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
15 Apr 2026
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“So,” Buck says, head spinning. He’s really feeling the alcohol now. They definitely should have eaten something before drinking. “No women.”
Eddie fumbles as he sets the bottle down on his bedside table. “No women.”
“What about men?” Buck blurts, which is—crazy, because again: neither of them are gay.
They’re just two straight guys. Two straight guys in Eddie’s bed, tipsy, and—and Eddie doesn’t want to sleep with women. Which means nothing.
Beside him, Eddie goes preternaturally still. “I would know, if I—you know.”
“Okay.” Buck’s hands twitch at his sides. “I—yeah. Me too.”
Then, very seriously, Eddie turns to look at him. “If I were gay, you would be my first call.”
Warmth blooms in Buck’s chest. Eddie’s so nice to him. “Dude,” he says, touched. “You’d be my first call too.”
Or: a story set in season 2 featuring tequila, Just The Tip, and, finally, a kiss.
Series
- Part 14 of cjo + 911
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- English
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- 10,892
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
27 Mar 2026
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Three months later, things are mostly back to normal.
And then there's an accident.
- Language:
- English
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- 27,756
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- 3/3
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- 1
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- 391
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Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
27 Feb 2026
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“This is the most thought that anyone, of all time, ever, has put into adjusting a driver’s seat, Eddie.”
“Buck—”
“I’m serious. That rearview mirror has lived through so many angles and lives in the past six minutes that it’s about to start recounting its first-hand experience on the Titanic.”
Just for that, Eddie reaches up between them and tweaks the mirror again. A ray of sunlight hits it and bounces across Buck’s eyeline. Buck’s face scrunches up as he rushes to shield his forehead with one hand. It does not remind Eddie whatsoever of a small, bashful dog hiding behind its soft paw, because that would be deranged. He twists the mirror back into position.
“The Titanic probably would have gotten us to Nashville better than this truck.”
Buck’s indignant squawk rings out in time with the turnover of the engine as Eddie hits the ignition.
or: Gay Thoughts: A New (Nissan) Frontier
Bookmarked by Chillinmetaphorically
25 Feb 2026