Ktw1959



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    The thing about shame, Shane had learned, was that it tasted metallic. Like blood in your mouth after taking an elbow to the face, or the way your tongue felt after biting it to keep from screaming during a particularly brutal check. It coated everything: his morning coffee, the complimentary breakfast at the hotel, even the Seattle air that hit him when he stepped outside the terminal.

    We are nothing, Hollander.

    Three months. Rozanov hadn't answered a single text, a single call, not even the one Shane had sent at 2 AM after too little inhibition and too much loneliness, the one that just said please. Radio silence. Complete and total ghosting, like Sochi never happened, like his apartment never happened, like Shane giving himself to Rozanov in a way he'd never done with anyone meant absolutely nothing.

    (Or, Shane decides to put a bandaid on a bullet hole and this is how it goes down.)

    Now including bonus chapters!

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    3/3
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    05 Feb 2026

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    Shane Hollander is tired of wanting someone he cannot have, and he’s dying as he waits for someone who will not stay. Someone who doesn’t want to stay, not when there are so many others waiting for him. Fun of another variety, Shane left a treat amongst many.

    It’s humiliating. It’s distracting. And it feels like shit.

    He wishes he could erase his feelings, move on as easily. In an effort to gain back control over the ‘situation’ that has become his romantic attraction to a notorious player, Shane attempts at imitating Ilya Rozanov’s methods until he perfects them and becomes as good as keeping it light and casual as his rival.

     

    Or Shane tries to Hoe Phase himself into a self discovery journey to choke and kill his feelings for Ilya Rozanov. Ilya is not the only who suffers from it, but he sure feels like he’s being choked and killed.

    ___
    Story ends after chapter 6 but I keep writing bonus because the hyper fixation doesn’t end.

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    05 Feb 2026