LandedGentry



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    June 2018. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are about to execute the first step of their ten-year plan, with Ilya signing with the Ottawa Centaurs when free agency begins on July 1.

    Except Shane accidentally, drunkenly, outs himself to the Montreal Metros at the end of the season. Who are not as okay with it as Shane would have hoped.

    AKA the most eventful Canada Day that the MLH has ever seen.

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    19 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov’s husband sends him to the grocery store for basil under a time constraint.
    Unfortunately, Ilya grabs the first shirt he finds in Shane Hollander’s closet.
    Unfortunately, the shirt says HOLLANDER 24 on the back.
    Unfortunately, someone on hockey Twitter notices.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov accidentally outs his secret relationship with Shane Hollander while buying groceries.

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    08 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    02 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit on stools in the Centaurs’ locker room. They are wearing each other’s jerseys, and Ilya has a large pink heart painted on his left cheek. Shane has a smattering of silver sparkly heart freckles across his nose.]

    Harris: (off camera) Okay, boys. As the Centaurs’ resident power couple, we’re going to ask you twenty couples questions in honor of our Valentine’s Day game coming up!

    Ilya: Oh, good. Shane loves questions. He has a million for every possible situation. Are you sure you don’t want him to lead the interview? 

    Shane: Fuck you, Rozanov.

    Harris: Glad we got that out of the way early.

     

     

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    31 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

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    25 Mar 2026