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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander only meant to attend a few hockey games — a small act of rebellion against the boyfriend who controlled every part of his life. But that night changes everything. The arena becomes a refuge, Rose becomes a friend, and the Montreal Metros become the first place he’s felt safe in years.

    No one knows he’s living with domestic violence.
    No one knows he’s planning to run.
    No one knows how much he’s breaking.

    And no one expects him to fall for Ilya Rozanov — the loud, brilliant, closeted Russian winger recently traded under suspicious circumstances.

    Ilya has secrets he can’t share, a past he can’t escape, and feelings he doesn’t know how to handle.

    Shane is learning how to live again.
    Ilya is learning how to feel again.
    Both are learning how to trust.

    But when the truth about their pasts threatens to surface, they’ll have to decide whether they can face it together — or lose each other trying.

    ----------------------------------------

    Or: A story about healing, found family, and the terrifying, beautiful risk of choosing love after surviving what was meant to break you.

    Language:
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    82/?
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    29 Apr 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    When the unsentimental financial imperative of the NHL sees Shane traded to the Boston Raiders, he and Ilya are thrown into closer extended proximity than ever before. As they adjust to life as teammates, they are forced to contend with the nature of their relationship -and must answer for themselves: is it even a relationship at all?
    ____

    Sliding down the wall, Shane hunched over his untied sneakers, shoved on hastily when Coach had called him in for a meeting after morning skate.

    “Boston wanted you specifically. I’ve already spoken to their GM. You’re flying this evening or tomorrow morning: I’ll confirm once the paperwork clears.”

    “Mom,” Shane managed.

    “Oh sweetie. I know, okay. Those fuckers, how dare they do this! Two fucking cups! Now all of a sudden they decide they want a reset and you’re going to fund it.”

    Shane put his head between his knees and tried to breathe. God, Boston. They hated him there; it was so far away; he was fucking their captain.

    Language:
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    28 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane was still angry. Rozanov’s plan had been to, what? Seduce him so they’d bond? He hadn’t even though to ask Shane first! Shane should get up and walk away and let his dad take him back to Russia and lock him away. Then Shane wouldn’t have to bond with him. Shane didn’t want to bond.

    But Shane had told Rozanov they’d be a team, just the two of them, and Rozanov seemed so scared and vulnerable. But Shane had started thinking about what they could do, the two of them on the ice, bonded. He’d had wingers he’d connected to before, who seemed to be able to read his mind. How much more incredible would this be, someone who’d always know where he was, what his intentions were?

    “No one can know,” Shane said.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,190
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    28 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya had become very skilled at making people feel like he wanted them.  It was an advantage that he had honed to a very fine point. 

    He made them feel like they were the only person in the world, that they would be the exception to the rule; that the stripper would fall for them, would throw away his, in their eyes, sad, pathetic life to be taken away in their yachts and private planes and all the rest of it.  He didn’t want any of that, but his skill in making them think that he did had made him a lot of money.

    It was also, almost every time, a complete lie.

    Ilya had never felt anything for any of them.  It was a performance, just like his routine on the stage.  He crawled to them, danced on them, felt their cocks get hard beneath his thighs, and left them with a wink and the ghost of a smile, so that they would be eager to come back for more.

    He had only broken that rule once, and he had learned his lesson.

    He would never do that again.

    A Tubes of Neon Light, Refracted companion.

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    English
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    16,668
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    1/1
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    15 Apr 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Twenty years after everything fell apart, Shane Hollander is on the cusp of becoming MLH Commissioner when Ilya Rozanov walks into his office and back into his life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,720
    Chapters:
    9/13
    Comments:
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    07 Apr 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Old men” my foot.
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