Sillygoofyqueer
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Welcome to Beholding Tea And Coffee!! by Sillygoofyqueer
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
09 Apr 2026
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Summary
Jon!!! <3 (The boss):
You: Hey Jon! Just wanted to let you know I put your tea in your office!! <3
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The Full-Timers (Without Jon because he's scary):
You: GUYS GUYS GUYS I MESSED UP
Mocha Goddess: What? What did u do?
The Hot Barista: MARTIN DID U KILL SONEPNE I NEIED TOKNWOE NOW IVE GOT A BT
Mocha Goddess: YOURE NOT SUPPOSD TO TELL HIM
You: WHAT?! No, I haven't killed anyone!
You: I sent Jon a '<3'The Hot Barista: oh
The Hot Barista: ok(My obligatory coffee shop chatfic AU for jmart week 2026, Day 9: Free//AU Day)
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MR. SPIDER DOESN'T EAT FLOWERS. by Sillygoofyqueer
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
19 Feb 2026
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Jon is supposed to be going on a blind date. That is not what happens.
(AKA I was possessed after seeing this beautiful art and ended up writing a whole fic about it. So. Yeah.)
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I Didn't Mean To Bring Back The Yiling Laozu!!!! (Okay maybe I did, so what?!) by Sillygoofyqueer for Teacat11
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
23 Dec 2025
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Mo Xuanyu brings back Wei Wuxian, but it does not go as planned...
(AKA, Mo Xuanyu accidentally gets a family instead of dying.)
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Steps To Take When You Find an Injured Cultivator (A Guide by Shen Yuan) by Sillygoofyqueer
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
30 Nov 2025
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So, you've found yourself with an injured cultivator, and you have no idea what to do? Well, follow these handy dandy steps, and you're sure to end up with a very happy pa-....wait, why does it say husband?!
(AKA, Four's contribution to JiuYuan Week 2025)
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There's an imposter on Cang Qiong, and he's WEARING MY FUCKING FACE by Sillygoofyqueer
Fandoms: 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
07 Jul 2025
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Summary
Shang Qinghua is sick of being treated like shit, and fakes his own death.
Which is rather fortunate for He Xuan, who has been sent to infiltrate Cang Qiong for the sake of information about this strange new world.
(Or, Shang Qinghua fakes his death and He Xuan casually steals his identity)
Recent bookmarks
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Ever since the Quakes of 1818 there have been strange creatures known as cryptids that have been slipping onto earth. While acknowledged by the scientific community there is still a lot to learn about cryptids. Some are as common as raccoons while others have not been captured on film (yet). Join Jon, Martin, Tim, and Sasha as they travel the continental US filming for their show.
Sorry y'all it is just going to update when I have a chance.
Series
- Part 1 of Cryptid Watch AU
Bookmarked by Sillygoofyqueer
11 May 2026
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Summary
'Something crashes into the fence at the bottom of the garden, making the hanging baskets of dried-up flowers that Jon hasn't had the presence of mind to remove sway against the wood. He thumbs the tape recorder off and shoves it into the pocket of his jacket, finding his feet on the patio. The penknife feels pitifully miniscule in his fingers, so he exchanges it for the pipe.
More banging, and one of the fence panels starts to buckle, the wood splintering in sharp snaps.
'Hello?' Jon calls out, finding his tone strangely polite even now, devoid of either the fear or the righteous anger he feels. 'Are you-?'
Alive? A person?'
Or, the one with all the zombies.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 146,882
- Chapters:
- 80/?
- Comments:
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- 346
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- 50
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Bookmarked by Sillygoofyqueer
27 Apr 2026
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The long and short of it is, Martin’s usually in for eight these days.
He, as usual, lumbers his yawning way into the breakroom, and today is unfortunately one of the approximate three-out-of-five working days that he forgets about the sticky-out-bit on the doorframe. He bashes his hip on it, snaps a choice word and digs his squashed Tesco croissant out of his bag, then dumps the bag beside the offending door. He flips off the sticky-out-bit, and faces the room, and –
Nearly jumps out of his skin.
Because Jonathan Sims is dead asleep on the beaten-up sofa.
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A sleepy Jon, a chat that explains some things, and a memory.
Bookmarked by Sillygoofyqueer
14 Apr 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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The first time Martin saw Jon kill a spider in the Archives, it was minding its own business. Jon noticed it in the corner when the movement of a moth struggling in its web caught his eye. He paused mid-conversation with Tim, and without any fanfare, dropped a tissue on both the hapless arachnid and its prey before squashing the whole deal under his shoe. Then he threw away the crumpled tissue and went back to his conversation as if nothing happened. Tim barely even broke stride, like he was accustomed to this. So Martin wrote it off as another Jon-ism.
But he began to notice a pattern as he got to know his new boss a little better.
Series
- Part 2 of Foreign Gods
Bookmarked by Sillygoofyqueer
13 Apr 2026
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The Department of Particularly Horrific Deaths by WonkyElk
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
20 Jul 2024
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Summary
“You, Jon, are the last point of earthly contact for these tortured souls, the bridge between their mortal lives and the ungraspable regions beyond. The least you could do is to smile occasionally. Or at least drop that ‘I’d rather be chewing wasps’ expression.” Elias had narrowed his eyes, as Jon scowled at the floor. “Yes, that’s the one.”
Bookmarked by Sillygoofyqueer
19 Mar 2026