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Izuku's breaths came in short, aborted gasps as he pressed his back as far against the wall as he could. Todoroki shuddered beside him, Kirishima and Iida frozen in utter fear; Yaoyorozu gagged from the end of the line. The only thing that stood between them and what felt like death personified was a flimsy concrete wall.
A wet, slimy splash echoed in the space, and from the corner of his eye, Todoroki could see Bakugo drop from thin air. "What the hell?" Bakugo coughed, and Izuku's eyes widened. 'Kacchan!'
"Apologies, Bakugo-kun," All For One rumbled before the air filled with the sound of more people teleporting in. Izuku drew in a sharp breath as he listened to six people choke and hack.
'Shit, shit, shit, okay. So, we have basically the entire League plus a 200-year-old megalomaniac who has dozens of quirks and can destroy a couple of blocks with a flick of his finger. No biggie.' Izuku would've let out a hysterical laugh if he wasn't so terrified of being caught.
"Guys," he whispered, hoping that All For One couldn't hear him past his stupid ass monologuing. The four of them settled their attentions on him with frightened, shaken expressions. "When All Might comes, he'll need to fight without Kacchan in the way. We need to grab him once there's an opening." The four exchanged looks, but they understood the necessity behind his words.
"So, what's your plan for getting Bakubro out of there?" Kirishima whispered, peering over at Izuku. "Once All Might appears, I can cause a diversion. While I do that, Iida-kun, get ready to do the fastest Recipro Burst you've ever done while Todoroki-kun creates an ice ramp to shoot you out of here. Then you and Yaoyorozu-chan make a break out of the alley's exit." The three heroes-in-training nodded. "Kirishima-kun," Izuku continued, "it's your job to bust through the wall with your harden and reach out to Kacchan; he wouldn't accept a hand from anybody else." Kirishima gave him a shaky but determined grin. "You can count on me, Midobro."
"Midoriya-kun," Yaoyorozu interrupted, looking significantly less nauseous now that they had a (probably) reliable plan, "what are you planning to use to distract them? That villain just reduced the area to rubble in less than a second!" She stressed; Izuku could relate on a spiritual level to the amount of anxiety she was expressing. "It's not like you could dress up in drag and then do the hula!" Izuku paused. They all paled.
"No," Iida hissed. "Absolutely not. Midoriya-kun, please do not—"
“That was sarcastic, Midoriya-kun—“
"Midobro, you cannot be serious—"
"Midoriya-kun, you're very nice to look at," Todoroki gained a few looks, "but this isn't going to—"
"That might just work." Izuku ignored their arguments. "Did you hear nothing we just said." Iida looked that much closer to having an conniption.
"Guys, listen. It's so fucking unorthodox that literally none of them will know how to counter it.” Where the hell did his brain-to-mouth filter go? “Plus, I'm sure more than half of them haven't ever had a sex life; that builds up." Nevermind, Yaoyorozu's nausea seemed to have returned with a vengeance.
Kirishima looked scandalized. "Who corrupted you, Midobro?" Izuku waved him off. "You get bored when you have no friends for ten years. Anyways, would you like to come up with any better options? You three are essential for getting Kacchan out of there, and Yaoyorozu-chan, no offense, but you look on the verge of puking." They were all silent for a few seconds.
"I'm in agreement," Todoroki decided. Yaoyorozu sent him a look. "You just want to see him shirtless, Todoroki-kun."
"It's a side benefit."
Iida pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't let you throw your life away like that, Midoriya-kun." Izuku smiled, and it was far too sly for the bluenet. "Good thing I'm not. I'll just be providing an efficient distraction." Kirishima shuffled. "While it's definitely a... strange way to distract them, I believe in you, Midobro." The three of them stared at Iida and Yaoyorozu. Both of them floundered.
Then the only female of the group sighed. "I trust you, Midoriya-kun, even if this is insanely dangerous." Iida withheld his groan. "Why do I allow these dangerous escapades?" He whispered underneath his breath. "Fine. Do you even know how to hula, though, Midoriya-kun? It's an American-style dance."
"Polynesian," Izuku corrected immediately. Then he smirked. "And as I said, you get bored with no friends."
All Might stood across from All For One, a scowl on his usually smiling face. "I won't make the same mistake I did six years ago, All For One! I will rescue Bakugo-kun and return him to his family," he growled, muscles tensing in preparation to lunge. Before he could, a movement to his left caught his attention, and he nearly spat blood in his surprise. "What, not going to follow through with your..." All For One trailed off in a rare moment of confusion, his sensory quirk detailing the image of a half-naked teenager walking— sashaying— across the battlefield. Slowly, the conscious villains and Bakugo turned towards the teen, various noises of shock escaping them.
Midoriya Izuku strutted over in all his glory, a fern green, knee-length skirt swirling around his legs with each step; green, purple, and coal black feathers arched up from the back of it in parallel to a peacock's plumage. What looked like a collar wrapped around the neck below his Adam's apple, splaying more emerald green and black feathers across the skin of his chest, collarbones, and shoulders.
Plum purple eyeshadow accented his half-lidded eyes, and Bakugo could see some clinging to his shoulders and elbows and— holy shit, was his body shimmering?
Bakugo could feel the fears of 'holy-shit-I'm-this-close-to-dying' draining away from him as it was replaced with 'holy-shit-since-when-was-Izuku-this-hot' panic.
Izuku licked his already glistening lips, and even though Bakugo was lying on the ground, he felt like he had tripped and fallen into an alternate dimension because what the fuck was going on.
Then Izuku started swaying and shaking his hips— Bakugo heard a punched noise leave one of the villains behind him. The feathers fluttered behind him with every swing of his hips, and he found himself captivated by the sight.
He didn't even question where the fuck he came from.
Maybe in a different universe, he would have joined Iida and Kirishma in vaulting off of Todoroki's miniature glacier. Instead, he found himself sensually dancing past Bakugo and towards the villains. He could feel their eyes on him, which meant the plan was working. (He dutifully ignored All Might's bewildered gaze because that was too much for today, thanks.)
But in this universe, Midoriya Izuku was freaking the fuck out. No, actually, he was far past that. He was in a 'the moment I'm done, I'm passing out for sixteen hours' mindset. Whoever told him that this was a good idea and shit, he had said that was a fucking liar.
However, this was Future Izuku's problem. Present Izuku had shit to do that didn't include having a panic attack.
He approached Spinner first— he was the closest and most easily manipulated, after all— keeping his muscles relaxed to make himself appear softer. He twirled his arms and spun in a slow circle, his hips swaying all the while. The 1-A student winked and watched as the lizard villain flushed a deep red. Then he padded closer, the sides of their hips bumping together as he scratched lightly underneath Spinner's chin. He giggled softly and nearly let out a snort when the other fell back on his ass, eyes unfocused. This was too easy.
Izuku brushed past him and moved on to Magne, whose face was probably too red to be healthy. His hands twirled as his arms raised, flaunting his small, lithe figure. He knew she could see his perfect eyeliner and mascara from there. To her credit, she didn't stare, just exhaling sharply and looking away with a deeper flush. At this point, he could tell that he was doing a bit more than the hula called for, but it’s not like any of these shits would really be able to tell.
After stepping around both an unconscious Kurogiri and Dabi, he preyed upon his next villain. (He decided to leave Twice to his back-and-forth of "AH, MY EYES!" and "Holy shit, is this what it's like to be gay?") Izuku stalked up to Compress with sensual grace, watching as he gulped and pulled at the collar of his shirt. His mask was already off, displaying the flustered embarrassment on his face. He made sure to stay out of reach of the other's hands, sashaying behind him and letting his fingers ghost along his back. Compress shuddered, and Izuku internally giggled when he accidentally marbled his mask. Holy fuck, this was fun.
As the villain scrambled to catch his compressed mask, Izuku's feet carried him towards Toga, who looked like she was about to faint from perverse joy. He carefully (he wasn't looking to get stabbed today) took her hand, hips swaying with fervor. She clutched his hand in return, giggling wildly as she bounced from foot to foot. "Oh, Izukun, you're even prettier than usual," she breathed, eyes sparkling. He only responded by twirling and gently pulling his hand from hers, feeling as his feathers brushed against her arm. He sent her a playful kiss as he passed, which seemed to appease her enough not to stab him.
Last but not least, Shigaraki: the one who haunted his nightmares the most. Izuku would enjoy this one. Gradually, his gait changed from slow and gentle to lithe and meaningful— the prowl of a predator growing closer to its prey. Dimly, his eyes shone in the light of dying embers, a silent heralding of the carnage to come.
Unaware of the growing danger, the man-child in question stared at Izuku with wide, red eyes and cheeks of the same hue. "Tomu-chan," he murmured, low and smooth, and every ounce of shame he felt was worth the utter helplessness on Shigaraki's face. He padded ever closer, invading the villain's space and pressing their chests together. One hand went to lightly wrap around Shigaraki's scarred neck, sensing his racing heartbeat. Izuku giggled again and removed Father from Shigaraki's face with his other hand.
"Ah, Tomu-chan, remember the second time we met?" He whispered, voice hushed in the imitation of a secret. Shigaraki stared down at him with an unreadable expression, breath hitching. Every ounce of Izuku's being was dedicated to keeping his features sultry, tone wistful, and body relaxed. "You wrapped your hand around my neck like this and squeezed." Izuku's hand flexed lightly, and Shigaraki whimpered.
"Seems like the roles are reversed now, huh, Tomu-chan? I wonder how the rest of the world would react to knowing that the successor of All For One liked to be dominated in front of his own mentor." Shigaraki shuddered violently, hunching over as a quiet whine ripped itself from him. It took everything in Izuku not to laugh incredulously or gag in disgust because that was fucking fast.
Instead, he forced himself to lean closer, hand tightening. "But I have to thank you," he murmured, settling his glossy lips next to Shigaraki's ear, "because it means I got to do this."
Shigaraki wasn't given the time to be confused as he felt Izuku’s muscles flex against him before he was kneed between the legs with 12% of One For All. A shrill scream left him, and he collapsed on his side with a warbled cry of pain.
Izuku stood there. Everyone was still and silent, completely stunned. Izuku continued to stand there. He turned towards his flustered group of friends, mostly hidden behind the wall, and hissed, “That was your cue!”
In the split second afterward, Kirishima and Iida got their wits together and burst out from behind the wall, scattering the clearing with rocks; a large, smooth glacier followed after them and guided them into the sky. In the sudden chaos, Izuku took off with a cackle Bakugo would be proud of, green lightning sparking off of his figure as he leaped towards the two heroes-in-training and grabbed onto Iida. Kirishima, red-faced, glanced back at Bakugo and shouted, "Come on!" After a brief moment of surprise, Bakugo blasted up after them and latched onto Kirishima's hand, all of the conscious villains besides Toga and Shigaraki awkwardly waddling in a failed effort to catch him. A wild Gran Torino appeared and kicked them in the faces anyways, so their attempts were for naught.
As they flew through the air, all of the boys turned to Izuku, blushes still present on their features. "Deku, where the fuck did you learn to act like that?" Bakugo hissed, and Izuku could only laugh at his flustered expression.
"Deku, that's not a fucking answer!"
Omake:
Todoroki slipped his completely charred shirt off of his shoulder, using what was left of it to wipe away the blood from his nose. Yaoyorozu carried a covered basket of less-than-appropriate items.
It was silent for a few more moments before Todoroki whispered, "I got more than I asked for." Yaoyorozu snorted.