Work Text:
Your name is Idia Shroud.
You know that no matter what you do, you are stuck. Somebody has to be in charge of S.T.Y.X. after all, and that somebody will be you. You are the heir to the Shroud family and you will not escape this fate. Even though you know this, you still long to live like others do, to have the same, normal, experiences as your peers.
One day, your little brother, Ortho, persuades you to go on an adventure with him. You agree.
It is the worst mistake you’ve ever made.
Your brother dies.
And it’s all your fault.
Ortho, sweet, optimistic, Ortho… is dead. It’s because of you- you were the one that switched off that damn security system. You might as well have thrown him at the phantom yourself. Your precious little brother is DEAD and it is all your fault.
It breaks you.
Knowing this… breaks you.
Your name is Idia Shroud.
You are drowning, in over your head, consumed by your grief. Your brother is dead, but you cannot accept that. So you create a perfect replacement. A robot, meticulously rebuilt from memory to match your little brother’s every characteristic. And he’s better now, more durable. A robot will not be lost as easily as a living breathing being knitted together with flesh and blood. It takes you two years to build him, two years painstakingly working and refining everything you can possibly think of.
Even if you forget something or miss it, that’s fine.
Ortho is not a human being, he is a robot, you can add things to improve his design whenever you want.
People around you react with horror and disgust.
You are disgusted in turn- how dare they? They, who consider the story of a hero returning his girlfriend from the dead a romantic one, react like this when it’s you and your little brother? How truly pathetic.
(You know this isn’t healthy. Of course you know.)
(Ortho is dead, he isn’t coming back.)
(You should be accepting this but…)
(You just don’t care anymore.)
(A world without your little brother in it is not worth living in.)
Your name is Idia Shroud.
You go to Night Raven College.
For the first couple of years, everything goes as you expect it to. You stay well away from other people, managing to get an agreement from the school to learn remotely instead of attending class yourself. You send something to talk through to dorm leader meetings and stay in your room, by yourself. Like you were always meant to. It is completely pointless to even consider anything else at this point.
There is no point in trying anymore. It will just go wrong again.
(Ortho is always concerned for you, always trying to make you feel better, to get you out of your room.)
(He’s always known just what he was to you.)
(He’s always known he was just a replacement.)
(But it’s not fair. He still can’t help wanting to make things better for you.)
(Except, what can a robot AI even do?)
(What can either of you do?)
(You’re stuck, you’re worse than trapped- both you and him.)
Your name is Idia Shroud.
There is a string of incidents at Night Raven College, a string of overblots.
First, there is the infamous strict Queen, with those crazy rules and tyranny.
Second, there is the not-King, the lazy lion who is hated by his people for no good reason.
Third, there is the Sea Witch, with his deals and his traps and his honey-sweet words.
Fourth, there is the servant, as trapped as you by his family’s duty.
Fifth, there is the actor, the model, forever striving for beauty.
All of them, one by one.
You know exactly where this is heading and resign yourself to it.
Looks like your troublesome schoolmates will be invading your home soon.
Your name is Idia Shroud.
Ortho- the real Ortho- is here.
Right here, beside you, telling you he wants to help you. Your little brother is back, but he is a phantom now.
You do the only thing you can do.
You let yourself fall backwards into ink and madness.
(You’re not like the others- none of them knew what they were doing, the overblot drove them mad.)
(You on other hand, understand what you’ve done completely.)
(You understand completely what this will do to you and you still let it happen-welcome it even.)
(Because your little brother is a phantom now- and if that means you have to use up every bit of your magic, let him drain you into a husk, into nothing, then you will do it.)
(You deserve it.)
(You killed him.)
(it’s all your fault, it’s all your fault, it’s all your fault, it’s all your fault)
Your name is Idia Shroud.
You want to die.
Every bit of you longs to join your brother in the only way you know how. He can’t come back, but you can follow him. You don’t care about yourself anymore, you don’t care about the world- you’ve stopped caring long, long ago. He is what matters to you, the thing you haven’t been able to let go of, the grief and the guilt and the pain and the years and years of denial.
But your brother denies you.
He tells you to live.
Your name is Idia Shroud.
You are alive.
Ortho is too- you rebuilt his body from scratch and inserted the memory card.
You tell him he doesn’t have to play a part anymore- that he’s not a fake. (He’s not a replacement either, not anymore. He hasn’t been for a long time now.)
But Ortho doesn’t leave you, even though he could. (Even though you were secretly dreading he would.) He has free will, he has sentience, he’s not just a robot- he’s your little brother. He always has been.
(Maybe one good thing did come out of this dreadful mess.)
Your little brother tells you what he wants and you reply with a smile:
‘Just leave it to your big brother.’