Chapter Text
Gibbs glared sullenly at the traffic from his street corner. He hated that it had come to this. You would think that as a Supervisory Special Agent that he would make enough money that he wouldn't need to do this, but unfortunately with his fourth ex-wife he now needed some extra money to supplement his NCIS salary.
He should have known better than to marry her. He'd sworn off women, but somehow he'd still ended up married to another one. It was yet another regret, which is why he was on the streets playing a hooker. If anyone on the team caught him at this, they'd either laugh their heads off or have him arrested. He wasn't sure which.
He hoped that he wouldn't have to do this for long, but he could barely afford the alimony let alone anything else now. His only saving grace was that his house was already paid for. Good thing too, since the line for his services was non-existent.
Who was he kidding? He may be a good NCIS investigator, but he wasn't a good husband or hooker. He scared away the people who might be interested in paying him for sex whether that was with money or marriage.
"Gibbs?" a voice spoke, startling him.
He recognized that voice, a little too much. It may have featured in his dreams and indirectly been the reason he had decided to marry again as he'd known that he stood no chance with Tony, who strictly chased skirts. "DiNozzo?" Gibbs looked up in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
DiNozzo arched a brow at him and prompted, "Better question. What are you doing here, Boss?"
Gibbs cringed. He really didn't want to discuss this with DiNozzo. He knew that if the man ever decided to be a stripper, he'd have customers lined up around the block and it was beyond embarrassing to be caught like this with zero customers. "Working," Gibbs grunted, hoping that Tony would drop it.
The look Tony shot him made it clear that the younger man had no intentions of dropping it and was probably about to make a suitably sarcastic comment. "As a prostitute? An unemployed and grumpy one at that?" Tony interrupted Gibbs' thoughts with the aforementioned sarcasm.
Trying to come up with a plausible explanation that wasn't the truth and would maybe get Tony to leave him alone, he countered, "How do you know I'm not undercover?"
"Your outfit," Tony deadpanned.
Gibbs looked down at what he was wearing. He thought he'd chosen a suitably revealing outfit that would enhance his features. Had he not? "What's wrong with it?"
Tony bit his lip and Gibbs knew the man was trying to hide a smile. "Where should I start?" Tony asked rhetorically.
Giving up on avoiding this conversation and wanting to know what he'd done wrong, Gibbs demanded, "Are you saying I'm not going to find any customers this way?"
Tony rolled his eyes. "Why are you even looking for customers?"
"None of your business," Gibbs grumped.
Gibbs watched Tony get the familiar expression that he got whenever he had a flash of insight, that usually turned out to be right. "That fourth alimony taking more out of your paycheck than you expected?"
Gibbs sighed. Yep. Tony had figured him out. He didn't understand how he was such an open book to this man. Gibbs looked away, refusing to answer.
"Come on." Tony held out his hand to help Gibbs up from the sidewalk. "I'll help you find a better way to earn money."
Gibbs frowned. He didn't want handouts from the man. It was his problem. He could deal with it on his own. "I can handle it."
"Like you are currently?" Tony smirked.
Gibbs glared. That stung. He wished it wasn't true. Of course, DiNozzo had long since stopped being phased by his glares. It made him a great second, but right now it was really annoying.
Tony wheedled, "Come on, Gibbs. I'm a good teacher, I promise. I've been finding ways to make money on the side ever since I was twelve and my dad kicked me out."
Gibbs had seen how Tony mentored McGee and while Tim may have hated Tony at times, he was a better investigator for it now. He had no doubt that Tony was absolutely capable of proselytizing someone. In fact, Gibbs would bet money that Tony had helped many others before Gibbs to warrant the confidence the man clearly had in his abilities. Gibbs also knew that Tony had never wanted for anything really and had always seemed to be able to buy things that Gibbs would never have been able to afford. He knew that Tony wasn't a con man like his father, but clearly the man knew his way around money somehow.
"I'm going to regret this," Gibbs grumbled, finally accepting the hand up.
"Nope," Tony popped the p sound before looping his arm through Gibbs. "Come on, let's get you changed into better clothes."
Gibbs couldn't understand what the problem was with his clothes. "Seriously, what do you have against my outfit? Is it not sexy enough?" he questioned, bewildered and a tad affronted.
"Oh, you're sexy in anything," Tony stated matter-of-factly. "That's not the issue."
Gibbs could feel his heart rate pick up with hope. Did Tony really mean that? Was the man not as straight as he thought? Did he actually have a chance? "Then what's the problem?" Gibbs growled.
Tony shrugged. "You just look like you're trying too hard is all. Plus your expression really doesn't match the clothes." Tony glanced up and down Gibbs' body and then stared pointedly at his face.
"Oh really? How about this?" Gibbs shot Tony a sultry look. He could play high stakes betting with any man, not to mention he wanted to see Tony's reaction and see if he really stood a chance. "Does it fit the clothes better?"
"Yes, much." Tony shook his head at Gibbs. "Still you have better things to do with your time."
Gibbs wanted to droop with disappointment. That reaction didn't tell him anything and despite Tony's outfits always making him look good they also hid any reaction that his body might be having. To distract DiNozzo from whatever face he was making, he allowed Tony to lead him away from the street corner.
Seeing Tony's car, he couldn't help teasing, "You trying to get the goods for free, DiNozzo?"
"You offering?" Tony bantered back.
Gibbs just grinned. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Yes, actually I would," Tony agreed.
Deciding this flirting, if it could be called that, wasn't getting them anywhere, Gibbs commented, "You never did tell me what you were doing there, DiNozzo?"
Tony started the car and headed out. "I heard a rumor from some of my cop friends that you were hanging around a street corner. I had to check it out and see if it was true. None of them wanted to arrest you, but they couldn't let you keep pretending to be a hooker. You were scaring away all the real criminals, so that they couldn't catch them with the prostitutes."
Gibbs grunted, "So you weren't there looking for a hooker yourself?"
"No," Tony chuckled. "I have no problems getting a date. Though, I must admit if you were offering, I'd have considered paying."
Gibbs couldn't take this 'Does he? Does he not?' anymore. "Are you saying you're attracted to me, Tony?" Gibbs blurted.
"I have been for years, Gibbs," Tony admitted. "But before we start any relationship discussions let's get your financial situation straightened out. I don't want to see you on any more street corners unless you're actually undercover, ok?"
Gibbs hadn't felt this light since he and Shannon started dating. If he played his cards right, he could actually have a date with Tony. However, he couldn't take the insult to his pride lying down and glared at Tony for the comments about the street corners. "Fine. How do we do this then?" Gibbs just wanted to get to the part where he could take Tony out on a date and hopefully woo him.
Tony hummed, clearly considering some options. "Well first, why didn't you try to sell any of the furniture you've made or any of your other wood creations?"
Gibbs just wanted to be done with this conversation. If he got Tony at the end, it would be worth it, but right now it was embarrassing and painful. Deciding that the fastest end to this conversation would be honesty, he replied, "They wouldn't fetch enough."
Tony frowned. "How much do you need? You can make a pretty penny with custom made wood furniture if you do it right."
Gibbs mumbled a number under his breath and looked away. He didn't want to see Tony's reaction. He'd never struggled with paying his bills like this. Being in the Marine Corps, most of his bills had been covered by them and he'd always had good jobs even once he was out thanks to Mike Franks.
“That’s not as bad as I was expecting. Honestly, this will be easier to resolve than most situations I’ve helped out with. Don’t worry so much, Gibbs.”
Tony parked his car in Gibbs' driveway and the two of them headed in. "Beer?" Gibbs asked, not knowing how long Tony planned to stay.
"Sure," Tony agreed.
Gibbs headed into the kitchen and came back out with two beers to find that Tony had pulled out a laptop and was typing away at it. He tilted his head to one side as he stared at this peculiarity. He'd known that Tony had more technological skill than him, but he'd thought the man was still near beginner level, obviously not.
"What are you doing?" Gibbs interrupted, holding out Tony's beer to him.
Tony accepted the beer with a small nod. "Setting up a website for your woodworking business."
Gibbs blinked. "How will that help? I can find random people who would like me to make furniture without a website."
Tony turned his screen, so that Gibbs could see what he'd done so far. "What do you think?"
Gibbs appreciated the rugged looking website and watched as Tony flipped through the tabs that told a little bit about him and his business and showed some examples of his woodworking. He couldn't believe how fast Tony had put this together and it fit him perfectly. The website even had his contact information, so that people could call him to discuss what they wanted and the price for it.
"It's amazing,” Gibbs admitted, “but I still don't see the point."
"Unlike the random people you know who will trade on friendship instead of paying or some schmuck off the street, anyone who finds your website will be looking for custom made work and they'll be prepared to pay for it. We can even list some standard rates if you want to make sure they understand what they might have to pay before they bother you."
"Do it," Gibbs barked out.
Tony nodded, typing away again and then pausing with his hands hovering over the keyboard. "What do you want to make your standard rate? I would recommend asking for at least $125 an hour if not more."
"But what about those that can't afford that?" Gibbs couldn't help thinking that he couldn't even afford his own services right now.
"You can work out a sliding scale for what they can afford to pay if you want, but don't undersell yourself. People will take advantage of you if you let them," Tony pointed out.
Gibbs glared at Tony for suggesting that he didn't know how to run a business. His father had run the general store in Stillwater as long as Gibbs remembered and he'd learned how to manage it at a young age even if the two of them often didn't see eye to eye. "I'm not some naïve teenager, DiNozzo."
"Of course not, Boss."
Gibbs heard the placating tone and knew that Tony was just raring for a chance to make another smart remark, though fortunately he seemed to be holding back whatever was on his tongue right now. Deciding to bite the bullet, Gibbs offered, "Jethro. If you're going to be helping me and running my website, you better call me by name."
"As you wish."
Something about that phrase caught his mind. He was pretty sure that it was from a movie, though he couldn't remember which one. He thought he might have watched it with Kelly at one point. He said nothing, however, as it was a game they played for Gibbs to appear ignorant of Tony's movie references.
Nodding towards the computer showing his website, he asked, "Now what does it take to get someone to see my website?"
"Just a few more clicks and then some search engine optimization and people will be clicking through to your website in no time," Tony reassured.
Gibbs, always hasty, prodded, "Well? Get on with it then."
Tony chuckled. "Impatient as ever, huh?" He pressed a few more buttons and then announced, "Ta da! Your woodworking website is now live."
Tony hadn't even finished speaking before Gibbs' phone started ringing. As Gibbs moved to answer it, Tony reminded him, "Remember, don't undersell yourself."
Gibbs growled at DiNozzo before accepting the call, "Gibbs."
"You're selling furniture now?" Fornell chortled on the other end of the line.
"What do you want, Tobias?" Gibbs demanded, already grumpy and not wanting to deal with anyone other than Tony.
"Is there a friends and family discount?"
Gibbs could hear the hope in his friend's voice and immediately shot it down. "Nope."
"Not even for Emily?" Tobias coaxed.
Gibbs snarled, feeling put out at Fornell for trying to take advantage of him. "I'm listening."
Tobias explained what he was thinking and Gibbs nodded his head to indicate it made sense even though he knew his friend couldn't see him. "You can pick it up Saturday, bring your checkbook." Gibbs hung up the phone before Fornell could respond back.
"See. I told you it would get you an order tonight," Tony crowed.
"Tobias doesn't count. I can't charge him full price for something for Emily." Gibbs harrumphed.
Tony smirked. "That's sweet, Gibbs, but Fornell just got a promotion. He can afford to pay a little more."
Gibbs narrowed his eyes. "He never mentioned that to me."
"He probably hoped he'd get it cheaper if you didn't know about it."
Gibbs grunted. That would be just like Tobias. The man would use his wiles to get it cheaper even from his own grandmother. He couldn't let the other man get away with this. They may be friends, but he wasn't a push over. He would make Fornell regret trying to pull the wool over his eyes.
Interrupting his thoughts, Tony stood up and gathered his things. "Anyway, I should be getting back."
"You don't have to go," Gibbs immediately spoke up. He had a bad feeling that a touch of disappointment had snuck into his voice at the thought of Tony leaving. He knew the man could take care of himself, but Gibbs couldn't help that he liked having the younger man around.
Tony shook his head. "Nah. You'll be inundated with orders soon and I was serious about not starting a relationship until your financial situation was a little more stable. It will be more likely to last if we start as equals."
Gibbs nodded curtly. He wanted to disagree, but couldn't as the logic was sound. Although, he did wonder how Tony was so confident that he'd have a lot of orders for his woodworking abilities soon.
He didn't have long to contemplate as his phone started ringing again with a number he didn't recognize before Tony had even made it out the door. Gibbs nodded his head in acknowledgement of the wave Tony sent him, answering the call with a gruff, "Hello."
The voice at the other end of the phone explained what they wanted and Gibbs took down the request and the contact info before hanging up without bothering to say goodbye. Now that he had two wood projects to work on, he figured he'd better get started. You never knew when they'd catch a case.
He didn't even make it down the stairs to the basement before his phone rang again. Gibbs glared at the metallic object wishing he had the power to make it burst into flames. He better not be getting calls all night long.
He was not above marching over to Tony's apartment and waking the man up to fix this. Fortunately, the phone calls trailed off after 10 PM. Of course, Gibbs couldn't go to bed yet. He now had like six orders and they would all take time. So he started working on the first of them, not Fornell's, immediately. The man was a friend and could wait for the customers who were paying a significant amount more than Tobias.
Gibbs had no idea what time he finally fell asleep. He woke up underneath the boat, surprisingly not drunk, but with the sun shining in his eyes indicating that he should have already been in the office. Rushing through his morning routine and thus grabbing coffee on his way in, Gibbs was not impressed when his phone started ringing with more people wanting him to make furniture for them.
He'd planned to make Tony deal with it, but his SFA wasn't in, yet. With a sigh he left the phone going off like crazy on his desk and went to get more coffee. He was going to need it to get through this day.
Now that he was at the office he could safely turn the phone off. As soon as DiNozzo entered the bullpen, Gibbs thrust his phone at him, turning it back on at the same time. "Fix this," he barked.
The phone immediately started ringing. Tony grabbed it and silenced it. "What do you want me to do, Boss?"
"I can't have it going off all hours of the day," Gibbs growled.
"Alright. Give me a few minutes and I'll get you set up with a second phone number for the business. We'll set it up to auto send calls to voicemail for that number during certain hours of the day. What hours do you want to auto ignore, Boss?"
"All of them." Gibbs grunted.
Tony nodded. "Will do, Boss. I'll set up the automated voice mail message too."
"Just deal with it, DiNozzo." Gibbs demanded, returning to his computer monitors and hoping that he could concentrate on NCIS duties without interruptions now. Of course his situational awareness meant he was always aware of what was going on around him, including how Tony had grabbed a laptop from his backpack and fiddled with it. He caught Tony doing something to his phone too before the man walked over and held it out for Gibbs to take.
Gibbs accepted the phone, inwardly smirking at Tim's shocked look as Tony headed back to his desk and booted up his work computer. McGee kept glancing back and forth between Gibbs and Tony with a hurt expression on his face.
"I could have done that, Boss," Tim protested. "Why did you ask Tony?"
Gibbs just stared McGee down until the man stuttered out, "None of my business, right, Boss."
Gibbs nodded sharply and they all got back to work.